Paycouldn’t’oldmewhenmytimewasdone,Forsomethinginmy’eadupsetmeall,TillI’addroppedwhatever’twasforgood,An’,outatsea,be’eldthedock—lightsdie,An’metmymate——thewindthattrampstheworld!
  It’slikeabook,Ithink,thisbloomin’world,Whichyoucanreadandcareforjustsolong,ButpresentlyyoufeelthatyouwilldieUnlessyougetthepageyou’rereadin’done,An’turnanother——likelynotsogood;
  Butwhatyou’reafteristoturn’emall。
  Gawdblessthisworld!Whatevershe’athdone——
  Excep’whenawfullong——I’vefounditgood。
  Sowrite,beforeIdie,"’Elikeditall!"
  BARRACK—ROOMBALLADS
  When’Omersmote’isbloomin’lyre,He’d’eardmensingbylandan’sea;
  An’whathethought’emightrequire,’Ewentan’took——thesameasme!
  Themarket—girlsan’fishermen,Theshepherdsan’thesailors,too,They’eardoldsongsturnupagain,Butkep’itquiet——sameasyou!
  Theyknew’estole;’eknewtheyknowed。
  Theydidn’ttell,normakeafuss,Butwinkedat’Omerdowntheroad,An’’ewinkedback——thesameasus!
  "BACKTOTHEARMYAGAIN"
  I’m’ereinatickyulsteran’abrokenbillycock’at,A—layin’ontothesergeantIdon’tknowagunfromabat;
  Myshirt’sdoin’dutyforjacket,mysock’sstickin’outo’myboots,An’I’mlearnin’thedamnedoldgoose—stepalongo’thenewrecruits!
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain。
  Don’tlookso’ard,forI’aven’tnocard,I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  Idonemysixyears’service。’ErMajestysez:"Good—day——
  You’llpleasetocomewhenyou’rerungfor,an’’ere’syour’oleback—pay;
  An’fourpenceadayforbaccy——an’bloomin’gen’rous,too;
  An’nowyoucanmakeyourfortune——thesameasyourorf’cersdo。"
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
  ’OwdidIlearntodoright—aboutturn?
  I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  Amano’four—an’—twentythat’asn’tlearnedofatrade——
  Beside"Reserve"agin’him——’e’dbetterbenevermade。
  Itriedmyluckforaquarter,an’thatwasenoughforme,An’Ithoughtof’ErMajesty’sbarricks,an’IthoughtI’dgoan’see。
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
  ’Tisn’tmyfaultifIdresswhenI’alt——
  I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  Thesergeantarstnoquestions,but’ewinkedtheothereye,’Eseztome,"’Shun!"an’Ishunted,thesameasindaysgoneby;
  For’esawtheseto’myshoulders,an’Icouldn’t’elp’oldin’straightWhenmean’theotherrookiescomeunderthebarrick—gate。
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
  ’Oowouldha’thoughtIcouldcarryan’port?
  I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  Itookmybath,an’Iwallered——for,Gawd,Ineededitso!
  Ismeltthesmello’thebarricks,I’eardthebuglesgo。
  I’eardthefeetonthegravel——thefeeto’themenwhatdrill——
  An’Iseztomyflutterin’’eart—strings,Isezto’em,"Peace,bestill!"
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
  ’OosaidIknewwhenthe~Jumner~wasdue?
  I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  Icarriedmyslopstothetailor;Isezto’im,"Noneo’yourlip!
  Youtight’emovertheshoulders,an’loose’emoverthe’ip,Fortheseto’thetunic’s’orrid。"An’’eseztome,"Strikemedead,ButIthoughtyouwasusedtothebusiness!"an’so’edonewhatIsaid。
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain。
  Rathertoofreewithmyfancies?Wot——me?
  I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
  NextweekI’ll’ave’emfitted;I’llbuymeaswagger—cane;
  They’llletmefreeo’thebarrickstowalkontheHoeagainInthenameo’WilliamParsons,thatusedtobeEdwardClay,An’——anyporebeggarthatwantsitcandrawmyfourpenceaday!
  BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain:
  Outo’thecoldan’therain,sergeant,Outo’thecoldan’therain。
  ’Oo’sthere?
  Amanthat’stoogoodtobelostyou,Amanthatis’andledan’made——
  Amanthatwillpaywhat’ecostyouInlearnin’theotherstheirtrade——parade!
  You’redroppin’thepicko’theArmyBecauseyoudon’t’elp’emremain,Butdrives’emtocheattogetouto’thestreetAn’backtotheArmyagain!
  "BIRDSOFPREY"MARCH
  March!Themudiscakin’goodaboutourtrousies。
  Front!——eyesfront,an’watchtheColour—casin’sdrip。
  Front!Thefacesofthewomeninthe’ousesAin’tthekindo’thingstotakeaboardtheship。
  Cheer!An’we’llnevermarchtovictory。
  Cheer!An’we’llneverliveto’earthecannonroar!
  TheLargeBirdso’PreyTheywillcarryusaway,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!
  Wheel!Oh,keepyourtouch;we’regoin’roundacorner。
  Time!——marktime,an’letthemenbe’indusclose。
  Lord!thetransport’sfull,an’’alfourlotnoton’er——
  Cheer,Ocheer!We’regoingoffwherenooneknows。
  March!TheDevil’snonesoblackas’eispainted!
  Cheer!We’ll’avesomefunbeforewe’reputaway。
  ’Alt,an’’and’erout——awoman’sgoneandfainted!
  Cheer!Geton——Gawd’elpthemarriedmento—day!
  Hoi!Comeup,you’ungrybeggars,toyersorrow。
  (’Earthemsaytheywanttheirtea,an’wantitquick!)
  Youwon’thavenomindforslingers,notto—morrow——
  No;you’llputthe’tween—decksstoveout,bein’sick!
  ’Alt!Themarriedkit’asalltogobeforeus!
  ’Courseit’sblockedthebloomin’gangwayupagain!
  Cheer,Ocheerthe’OrseGuardswatchin’tendero’erus,Keepin’ussinceeightthismornin’intherain!
  Stuckin’eavymarchin’—order,soppedandwringin’——
  Sick,beforeourtimetowatch’er’eavean’fall,’Ere’syour’appy’omeatlast,an’stopyoursingin’。
  ’Alt!Fallinalongthetroop—deck!Silenceall!
  Cheer!Forwe’llneverlivetoseenobloomin’victory!
  Cheer!An’we’llneverliveto’earthecannonroar!(Onecheermore!)
  Thejackalan’thekite’Avean’ealthyappetite,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!(’Ip!Urroar!)
  Theeaglean’thecrowTheyarewaitin’everso,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!(’Ip!Urroar!)
  Yes,theLargeBirdso’PreyTheywillcarryusaway,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!
  "SOLDIERAN’SAILORTOO"
  AsIwasspittin’intotheDitchaboardo’the~Crocodile~,Iseedamanonaman—o’—wargotupintheReg’lars’style。
  ’Ewasscrapin’thepaintfromoffof’erplates,an’Isezto’im,"’Ooareyou?"
  Sez’e,"I’maJolly——’ErMajesty’sJolly——soldieran’sailortoo!"
  Now’isworkbeginsbyGawdknowswhen,and’isworkisneverthrough;
  ’Eisn’toneo’thereg’larLine,nor’eisn’toneofthecrew。
  ’E’sakindofagiddyharumfrodite——soldieran’sailortoo!
  An’afterImet’imallovertheworld,a—doin’allkindsofthings,Likelandin’’isselfwithaGatlin’guntotalktothem’eathenkings;
  ’Esleepsinan’ammickinsteadofacot,an’’edrillswiththedeckonaslew,An’’esweatslikeaJolly——’ErMajesty’sJolly——soldieran’sailortoo!
  Forthereisn’tajobonthetopo’theearththebeggardon’tknow,nordo——
  Youcanleave’imatnightonabaldman’s’ead,topaddle’isowncanoe——
  ’E’sasortofabloomin’cosmopolouse——soldieran’sailortoo。
  We’vefought’emintrooper,we’vefought’emindock,anddrunkwith’eminbetweens,Whentheycalledustheseasickscull’ry—maids,an’wecalled’emtheAssMarines;
  But,whenwewasdownforadoublefatigue,fromWoolwichtoBernardmyo,WesentfortheJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
  Theythinkfor’emselves,an’theystealfor’emselves,andtheyneveraskwhat’stodo,Butthey’recampedan’fedan’they’reupan’fedbeforeourbugle’sblew。
  Ho!theyain’tnolimpin’procrastitutes——soldieran’sailortoo。
  Youmaysaywearefondofan’arness—cut,or’ootin’inbarrick—yards,Orstartin’aBoardSchoolmutinyalongo’theOnionGuards;
  Butonceinawhilewecanfinishinstylefortheendsoftheearthtoview,ThesameastheJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
  Theycomeofourlot,theywasbrotherstous;
  theywasbeggarswe’dmetan’knew;
  Yes,barrin’aninchinthechestan’thearm,theywasdoubleso’mean’you;
  Fortheyweren’tnospecialchrysanthemums——soldieran’sailortoo!
  Totakeyourchanceinthethickofarush,withfiringallabout,Isnothingsobadwhenyou’vecoverto’and,an’leavean’likin’toshout;
  Buttostandan’bestilltothe~Birken’ead~drillisadamntoughbullettochew,An’theydoneit,theJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——
  soldieran’sailortoo!
  Theirworkwasdonewhenit’adn’tbegun;theywasyoungernormean’you;
  Theirchoiceitwasplainbetweendrownin’in’eapsan’bein’moppedbythescrew,Sotheystoodan’wasstilltothe~Birken’ead~drill,soldieran’sailortoo!
  We’remostofusliars,we’re’arfofusthieves,an’therestareasrankascanbe,Butonceinawhilewecanfinishinstyle(whichI’opeitwon’t’appentome)。
  Butitmakesyouthinkbettero’youan’yourfriends,an’theworkyoumay’avetodo,Whenyouthinko’thesinkin’~Victorier~’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
  Nowthereisn’tnoroomfortosayyedon’tknow——
  they’aveproveditplainandtrue——
  Thatwhetherit’sWidow,orwhetherit’sship,Victorier’sworkistodo,An’theydoneit,theJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——
  soldieran’sailortoo!
  SAPPERS
  WhentheWatersweredriedan’theEarthdidappear,("It’sallone,"saystheSapper),TheLordHecreatedtheEngineer,HerMajesty’sRoyalEngineer,WiththerankandpayofaSapper!
  WhentheFloodcomealongforanextramonsoon,’TwasNoahconstructedthefirstpontoonTotheplansofHerMajesty’s,etc。
  Butafterfatigueinthewetan’thesun,OldNoahgotdrunk,whichhewouldn’tha’doneIfhe’dtrainedwith,etc。
  WhentheTowero’Babelhadmixedupmen’s~bat~,Someclevercivilianwasmanagingthat,An’noneof,etc。
  WhentheJewshadafightatthefootofahill,YoungJoshuaorderedthesuntostandstill,ForhewasaCaptainofEngineers,etc。
  WhentheChildrenofIsraelmadebrickswithoutstraw,Theywerelearnin’theregularworkofourCorps,Theworkof,etc。
  Foreversincethen,ifawartheywouldwage,Beholdusa—shinin’onhistory’spage——
  Firstpagefor,etc。
  Welaydowntheirsidingsan’help’ementrain,An’wesweepuptheirmessthroughthebloomin’campaign,Inthestyleof,etc。
  Theysendusinfrontwithafusean’amineToblowupthegatesthatarerushedbytheLine,Butbentby,etc。
  Theysendusbehindwithapickan’aspade,Todigforthegunsofabullock—brigadeWhichhasaskedfor,etc。
  Weworkunderescortintrousersandshirt,An’theheathentheyplugustail—upinthedirt,Annoying,etc。
  Weblastouttherockan’weshovelthemud,Wemake’emgoodroadsan’——theyrolldownthe~khud~,Reporting,etc。
  Wemake’emtheirbridges,theirwells,an’theirhuts,An’thetelegraph—wiretheenemycuts,An’it’sblamedon,etc。
  An’whenwereturn,an’fromwarwewouldcease,Theygrudgeusadornin’thebilletsofpeace,Whicharekeptfor,etc。
  Webuild’emnicebarracks——theysweartheyarebad,ThatourColonelsareMethodist,marriedormad,Insultin’,etc。
  Theyhaven’tnomannersnorgratitudetoo,Forthemorethatwehelp’em,thelesswilltheydo,Butmockat,etc。
  NowtheLine’sbutamanwithaguninhishand,An’Cavalry’sonlywhathorsescanstand,Whenhelpedby,etc。
  Artillerymovesbytheleaveo’theground,But~we~arethementhatdosomethingallround,For~we~are,etc。
  Ihavestateditplain,an’myargument’sthus("It’sallone,"saystheSapper),There’sonlyoneCorpswhichisperfect——that’sus;
  An’theycallusHerMajesty’sEngineers,HerMajesty’sRoyalEngineers,WiththerankandpayofaSapper!
  THATDAY
  Itgotbeyondallordersan’itgotbeyondall’ope;
  Itgottoshammin’woundedan’retirin’fromthe’alt。
  ’Olecompanieswaslookin’forthenearestroadtoslope;
  Itwerejustabloomin’knock—out——an’ourfault!
  Nowthereain’tnochorus’eretogive,Northereain’tnobandtoplay;
  An’IwishIwasdead’foreIdonewhatIdid,OrseenwhatIseedthatday!
  Wewassicko’bein’punished,an’welet’emknowit,too;
  An’acompany—commanderupan’’ituswithasword,An’someoneshouted"’Ookit!"an’itcometo~sove—ki—poo~,An’wechuckedourriflesfromus——OmyGawd!
  Therewasthirtydeadan’woundedonthegroundwewouldn’tkeep——
  No,therewasn’tmorethantwentywhenthefrontbeguntogo;
  But,Christ!alongthelineo’flighttheycutusuplikesheep,An’thatwasallwegainedbydoin’so。
  I’eardtheknivesbe’indme,butIdursn’tfacemyman,NorIdon’tknowwhereIwentto,’causeIdidn’t’alttosee,TillI’eardabeggarsquealin’outforquarteras’eran,An’IthoughtIknewthevoicean’——itwasme!
  Wewas’idin’underbedsteadsmorethan’arfamarchaway;
  Wewaslyin’uplikerabbitsallaboutthecountryside;
  An’themajorcursed’isMaker’cause’elivedtoseethatday,An’thecolonelbroke’isswordacrost,an’cried。
  Wewasrotten’forewestarted——wewasneverdisci~plined~;
  Wemadeitoutafavourifanorderwasobeyed;
  Yes,everylittledrummer’ad’isrightsan’wrongstomind,Sowehadtopayforteachin’——an’wepaid!
  Thepapers’idit’andsome,butyouknowtheArmyknows;
  Wewasputtogroomin’camelstilltheregimentswithdrew,An’theygaveuseachamedalforsubduin’England’sfoes,An’I’opeyoulikemysong——becauseit’strue!
  An’thereain’tnochorus’eretogive,Northereain’tnobandtoplay;
  ButIwishIwasdead’foreIdonewhatIdid,OrseenwhatIseedthatday!
  "THEMENTHATFOUGHTATMINDEN"
  ASongofInstructionThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasrookiesintheirtime——
  SowasthemthatfoughtatWaterloo!
  Allthe’olecommand,yuss,fromMindentoMaiwand,Theywasoncedam’sweepslikeyou!
  Thendonotbediscouraged,’Eavenisyour’elper,We’lllearnyounottoforget;
  An’youmustn’tswearan’curse,oryou’llonlycatchitworse,Forwe’llmakeyousoldiersyet!
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adstocksbeneaththeirchins,Sixinch’ighan’more;
  Butfatigueitwastheirpride,andthey~would~notbedeniedTocleanthecook—’ousefloor。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theyhadanarchisticbombsServedto’embynameof’and—grenades;
  Buttheygotitintheeye(sameasyouwillby—an’—by)
  Whentheyclubbedtheirfield—parades。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adbuttonsupan’down,Two—an’—twentydozenof’emtold;
  Buttheydidn’tgrousean’shirkatanhour’sextrywork,Theykept’embrightasgold。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasarmedwithmusketoons,Also,theywasdrilledby’alberdiers;
  Idon’tknowwhattheywere,butthesergeantstookgoodcareTheywashedbe’indtheirears。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adevercashin’andWhichtheydidnotbanknorsave,Butspentitgayan’freeontheirbetters——suchasme——
  ForthegoodadviceIgave。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywascivil——yuss,theywas——
  Neverdidn’ttalko’rightsan’wrongs,Buttheygotitwiththetoe(sameasyouwillgetit——so!)——
  Forinterruptingsongs。
  ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasseveralotherthingsWhichIdon’trememberclear;
  But~that’s~thereasonwhy,nowthesix—yearmenaredry,Therookswillstandthebeer!
  Thendonotbediscouraged,’Eavenisyour’elper,We’lllearnyounottoforget;
  An’youmustn’tswearan’curse,oryou’llonlycatchitworse,Forwe’llmakeyousoldiersyet!
  Soldiersyet,ifyou’vegotitinyou——
  AllforthesakeoftheCore;
  Soldiersyet,ifwe’avetoskinyou——
  Runan’getthebeer,JohnnyRaw——JohnnyRaw!
  Ho!runan’getthebeer,JohnnyRaw!
  CHOLERACAMP
  We’vegotthecholererincamp——it’sworsethanfortyfights;
  We’redyin’inthewildernessthesameasIsrulites;
  It’sbeforeus,an’be’indus,an’wecannotgetaway,An’thedoctor’sjustreportedwe’vetenmoreto—day!
  Oh,strikeyourcampan’go,theBugle’scallin’,TheRainsarefallin’——
  Thedeadarebushedan’stonedtokeep’emsafebelow;
  TheBand’sa—doin’allsheknowstocheerus;
  TheChaplain’sgoneandprayedtoGawdto’earus——
  To’earus——
  OLord,forit’sa—killin’ofusso!
  SinceAugust,whenitstarted,it’sbeenstickin’toourtail,Thoughthey’ve’adusoutbymarchesan’they’ve’adusbackbyrail;
  Butitrunsasfastastroop—trains,andwecannotgetaway;
  An’thesick—listtotheColonelmakestenmoreto—day。
  Thereain’tnofuninwomennorthereain’tnobitetodrink;
  It’smuchtoowetforshootin’,wecanonlymarchandthink;
  An’atevenin’,downthe~nullahs~,wecan’earthejackalssay,"Getup,yourottenbeggars,you’vetenmoreto—day!"
  ’Twouldmakeamonkeycoughtoseeourwayo’doin’things——
  Lieutenantstakin’companiesan’captainstakin’wings,An’Lancesactin’Sergeants——eightfiletoobey——
  Forwe’velotso’quickpromotionontendeathsaday!
  OurColonel’swhitean’twitterly——’egetsnosleepnorfood,Butmucksaboutin’orspitalwherenothingdoesnogood。
  ’Esendsus’eapso’comforts,allboughtfrom’ispay——
  Buttherearen’tmuchcomfort’andyontendeathsaday。
  OurChaplain’sgotabanjo,an’askinnymule’erides,An’thestuff’esaysan’singsus,Lord,itmakesussplitoursides!
  With’isblackcoat—tailsa—bobbin’to~Ta—ra—raBoom—der—ay!~
  ’E’stheproperkindo’~padre~fortendeathsaday。
  An’FatherVictor’elps’imwithourRomanCatholicks——
  Heknowsan’eapofIrishsongsan’rummyconjurin’tricks;
  An’thetwotheyworkstogetherwhenitcomestoplayorpray;
  Sowekeeptheballa—rollin’ontendeathsaday。
  We’vegotthecholererincamp——we’vegotit’otan’sweet;
  Itain’tnoChristmasdinner,butit’s’elpedan’wemusteat。
  We’vegonebeyondthefunkin’,’causewe’vefounditdoesn’tpay,An’we’rerockin’roundtheDistrickontendeathsaday!
  Thenstrikeyourcampan’go,theRainsarefallin’,TheBugle’scallin’!
  Thedeadarebushedan’stonedtokeep’emsafebelow!
  An’themthatdonotlikeittheycanlumpit,An’themthatcannotstandittheycanjumpit;
  We’vegottodiesomewhere——someway——some’ow——
  Wemightaswellbegintodoitnow!
  Then,NumberOne,letdownthetent—poleslow,Knockoutthepegsan’’oldthecorners——so!
  Foldintheflies,furluptheropes,an’stow!
  Oh,strike——oh,strikeyourcampan’go!
  (Gawd’elpus!)
  THELADIES
  I’vetakenmyfunwhereI’vefoundit;
  I’veroguedan’I’verangedinmytime;
  I’ve’admypickin’o’sweet’earts,An’fouro’thelotwasprime。
  Onewasan’arf—castewidow,OnewasawomanatProme,Onewasthewifeofa~jemadar—sais~,[Head—groom。]
  An’oneisagirlat’ome。
  NowIaren’tno’andwiththeladies,For,takin’’emallalong,Younevercansaytillyou’vetried’em,An’thenyouareliketobewrong。
  There’stimeswhenyou’llthinkthatyoumightn’t,There’stimeswhenyou’llknowthatyoumight;
  ButthethingsyouwilllearnfromtheYellowan’Brown,They’ll’elpyoualotwiththeWhite!
  Iwasayoungunat’Oogli,Shyasagirltobegin;
  AggiedeCastrershemademe,An’Aggiewascleverassin;
  Olderthanme,butmyfirstun——
  Morelikeamothershewere——
  Showedmethewaytopromotionan’pay,An’Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
  ThenIwasorderedtoBurma,Actin’inchargeo’Bazar,An’Igotmeatiddylive’eathenThroughbuyin’suppliesoff’erpa。
  Funnyan’yellowan’faithful——
  Dollinateacupshewere,Butwelivedonthesquare,likeatrue—marriedpair,An’Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
  ThenwewasshiftedtoNeemuch(OrImightha’beenkeepin’’ernow),An’Itookwithashinyshe—devil,ThewifeofaniggeratMhow;
  ’Taughtmethegipsy—folks’~bolee~;[Slang。]
  Kindo’volcanoshewere,Forsheknifedmeonenight’causeIwishedshewaswhite,AndIlearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
  ThenIcome’omeinthetrooper,’Longofakido’sixteen——
  GirlfromaconventatMeerut,ThestraightestIever’aveseen。
  Loveatfirstsightwas’ertrouble,~She~didn’tknowwhatitwere;
  An’Iwouldn’tdosuch,’causeIliked’ertoomuch,But——Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
  I’vetakenmyfunwhereI’vefoundit,An’nowImustpayformyfun,Forthemoreyou’aveknowno’theothersThelesswillyousettletoone;
  An’theendofit’ssittin’andthinkin’,An’dreamin’Hell—firestosee;
  Sobewarnedbymylot(whichIknowyouwillnot),An’learnaboutwomenfromme!
  WhatdidtheColonel’sLadythink?
  Nobodyneverknew。
  SomebodyaskedtheSergeant’swife,~An’~shetold’emtrue!
  Whenyougettoamaninthecase,They’relikeasarowofpins——
  FortheColonel’sLadyan’JudyO’GradyAresistersundertheirskins!
  BILL’AWKINS
  "’AsanybodyseenBill’Awkins?"
  "Now’owinthedevilwouldIknow?"
  "’E’stakenmygirloutwalkin’,An’I’vegottotell’imso——
  Gawd——bless——’im!
  I’vegottotell’imso。"
  "D’yerknowwhat’e’slike,Bill’Awkins?"
  "NowwhatinthedevilwouldIcare?"
  "’E’sthelivin’,breathin’imageofanorgan—grinder’smonkey,Withapoundofgreasein’is’air——
  Gawd——bless——’im!
  An’apoundo’greasein’is’air。"
  "An’s’poseyoumetBill’Awkins,Nowwhatinthedevil’udyedo?"
  "I’dopen’ischeekto’ischin—strapbuckle,An’bungup’isbotheyes,too——
  Gawd——bless——’im!
  An’bungup’isbotheyes,too!"
  "Look’ere,where’ecomes,Bill’Awkins!
  Nowwhatinthedevilwillyousay?"
  "Itisn’tfitan’propertobefightin’onaSunday,SoI’llpass’imthetimeo’day——
  Gawd——bless——’im!
  I’llpass’imthetimeo’day!"
  THEMOTHER—LODGE
  TherewasRundle,StationMaster,An’BeazeleyoftheRail,An’’Ackman,Commissariat,An’Donkin’o’theJail;
  An’Blake,Conductor—Sargent,OurMastertwicewas’e,With’imthatkepttheEurope—shop,OldFramjeeEduljee。
  Outside——"Sergeant!Sir!Salute!Salaam!"
  Inside——"Brother",an’itdoesn’tdono’arm。
  WemetupontheLevelan’wepartedontheSquare,An’IwasJuniorDeaconinmyMother—Lodgeoutthere!
  We’dBolaNath,Accountant,An’SaultheAdenJew,An’DinMohammed,draughtsmanOftheSurveyOfficetoo;
  TherewasBabuChuckerbutty,An’AmirSinghtheSikh,An’Castrofromthefittin’—sheds,TheRomanCatholick!
  We’adn’tgoodregalia,An’ourLodgewasoldan’bare,ButweknewtheAncientLandmarks,An’wekep’’emtoahair;
  An’lookin’onitbackwardsItoftenstrikesmethus,Thereain’tsuchthingsasinfidels,Excep’,per’aps,it’sus。
  Formonthly,afterLabour,We’dallsitdownandsmoke(Wedursn’tgivenobanquits,LestaBrother’scastewerebroke),An’manonmangottalkin’
  Religionan’therest,An’everymancomparin’
  OftheGod’eknewthebest。
  Somanonmangottalkin’,An’notaBrotherstirredTillmornin’wakedtheparrotsAn’thatdam’brain—fever—bird;
  We’dsay’twas’ighlycurious,An’we’dallride’ometobed,WithMo’ammed,God,an’ShivaChangin’picketsinour’ead。
  FulloftonGuv’mentserviceThisrovin’foot’athpressed,An’borefraternalgreetin’sTotheLodgeseastan’west,Accordin’ascommandedFromKohattoSingapore,ButIwishthatImightseethemInmyMother—Lodgeoncemore!
  IwishthatImightseethem,MyBrethrenblackan’brown,Withthetrichiessmellin’pleasantAn’the~hog—darn~passin’down;[Cigar—lighter。]
  An’theoldkhansamahsnorin’[Butler。]
  Onthebottle—khanafloor,[Pantry。]
  LikeaMasteringoodstandingWithmyMother—Lodgeoncemore!
  Outside——"Sergeant!Sir!Salute!Salaam!"
  Inside——"Brother",an’itdoesn’tdono’arm。
  WemetupontheLevelan’wepartedontheSquare,An’IwasJuniorDeaconinmyMother—Lodgeoutthere!
  "FOLLOWME’OME"
  Therewasnoonelike’im,’OrseorFoot,Noranyo’theGunsIknew;
  An’becauseitwasso,why,o’course’ewentan’died,Whichisjustwhatthebestmendo。
  Soit’sknockoutyourpipesan’followme!
  An’it’sfinishupyourswipesan’followme!
  Oh,’arktothebigdrumcallin’,Followme——followme’ome!
  ’Ismaresheneighsthe’oledaylong,Shepawsthe’olenightthrough,An’shewon’ttake’erfeed’causeo’waitin’for’isstep,Whichisjustwhatabeastwoulddo。
  ’IsgirlshegoeswithabombardierBefore’ermonthisthrough;
  An’thebannsareupinchurch,forshe’sgotthebeggarhooked,Whichisjustwhatagirlwoulddo。
  Wefought’boutadog——lastweekitwere——
  Nomorethanaroundortwo;
  ButIstrook’imcruel’ard,an’IwishI’adn’tnow,Whichisjustwhatamancan’tdo。
  ’EwasallthatI’adinthewayofafriend,An’I’ve’adtofindonenew;
  ButI’dgivemypayan’stripefortogetthebeggarback,Whichit’sjusttoolatetodo。
  Soit’sknockoutyourpipesan’followme!
  An’it’sfinishoffyourswipesan’followme!
  Oh,’arktothefifesa—crawlin’!
  Followme——followme’ome!
  Take’imaway!’E’sgonewherethebestmengo。
  Take’imaway!An’thegun—wheelsturnin’slow。
  Take’imaway!There’smorefromtheplace’ecome。
  Take’imaway,withthelimberan’thedrum。
  Forit’s"Threeroundsblank"an’followme,An’it’s"Thirteenrank"an’followme;
  Oh,passin’theloveo’women,Followme——followme’ome!
  THESERGEANT’SWEDDIN’
  ’Ewaswarnedagin’’er——
  That’swhatmade’imlook;
  Shewaswarnedagin’’im——
  Thatiswhyshetook。
  ’Wouldn’t’earnoreason,’Wentan’doneitblind;
  Weknowallabout’em,They’vegotalltofind!
  CheerfortheSergeant’sweddin’——
  Give’emonecheermore!
  Greygun—’orsesinthelando,An’arogueismarriedto,etc。
  What’stheuseo’tellin’
  ’Arfthelotshe’sbeen?
  ’E’sabloomin’robber,~An’~’ekeepscanteen。
  ’Owdid’eget’isbuggy?
  Gawd,youneedn’task!
  ’Made’isfortygallonOutofeverycask!
  Watch’im,with’is’aircut,Countusfilin’by——
  Won’ttheColonelpraise’isPop——u——lar——i——ty!
  We’avescorestosettle——
  Scoresformorethanbeer;
  She’sthegirltopay’em——
  Thatiswhywe’re’ere!
  Seethechaplainthinkin’?
  Seethewomensmile?
  Twigthemarriedwinkin’
  Astheytaketheaisle?
  Keepyourside—armsquiet,Dressin’bytheBand。
  Ho!You’olybeggars,Coughbe’indyour’and!
  Nowit’sdonean’over,’Eartheorgansqueak,"~’Voicethatbreathedo’erEden~"——
  Ain’tshegotthecheek!
  Whitean’laylockribbons,Thinkyourselfsofine!
  I’dprayGawdtotakeyer’ForeImadeyermine!
  Escorttothekerridge,Wish’imluck,thebrute!
  Chucktheslippersafter——
  [Pity’tain’taboot!]
  Bowin’likealady,Blushin’likealad——
  ’Oowouldsaytosee’emBothisrottenbad?
  CheerfortheSergeant’sweddin’——
  Give’emonecheermore!
  Greygun—’orsesinthelando,An’arogueismarriedto,etc。
  THEJACKET
  ThroughthePlaguesofEgyp’wewaschasin’Arabi,Gettin’downan’shovin’inthesun;
  An’youmight’avecalledusdirty,an’youmightha’calledusdry,An’youmight’ave’eardustalkin’atthegun。
  ButtheCaptain’ad’isjacket,an’thejacketitwasnew——
  (’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
  An’thewettin’ofthejacketistheproperthingtodo,Norwedidn’tkeep’imwaitin’verylong。
  Onedaytheygaveusordersfortoshellasandredoubt,Loadin’downtheaxle—armswithcase;
  ButtheCaptainknew’isdooty,an’hetookthecrackersoutAn’heputsomeproperliquorinitsplace。
  An’theCaptainsawtheshrapnel,whichissix—an’—thirtyclear。
  (’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
  "Willyoudrawtheweight,"sez’e,"orwillyoudrawthebeer?"
  An’wedidn’tkeep’imwaitin’verylong。
  ~FortheCaptain,etc。~
  Thenwetrottedgentle,nottobreakthebloomin’glass,ThoughtheArabites’adalltheirrangesmarked;
  Butwedursn’t’ardlygallop,forthemostwasbottledBass,An’we’ddreamedofitsincewewasdisembarked:
  Sowefiredeconomicwiththeshellswe’adin’and,(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
  Butthebeggarsundercover’adtheimpidencetostand,An’wecouldn’tkeep’emwaitin’verylong。
  ~AndtheCaptain,etc。~
  Sowefinished’arftheliquor(an’theCaptaintookchampagne),An’theArabiteswasshootin’allthewhile;
  An’weleftourwounded’appywiththeemptiesontheplain,An’weusedthebloomin’gunsforpro—jec—tile!
  Welimberedupan’galloped——therewerenothin’elsetodo——
  (’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
  An’theBatterycamea—boundin’likeaboundin’kangaroo,Buttheydidn’twatchuscomin’verylong。
  ~AstheCaptain,etc。~
  Wewasgoin’mostextended——wewasdrivin’veryfine,An’theArabiteswereloosin’’ighan’wide,TilltheCaptaintooktheglassywitharattlin’rightincline,An’wedroppedupontheir’eadstheotherside。
  Thenwegive’emquarter——suchas’adn’tupandcut,(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
  An’theCaptainstoodalimberfuloffizzy——somethin’Brutt,Butwedidn’tleaveitfizzingverylong。
  ~FortheCaptain,etc。~
  Wemightha’beencourt—martialled,butitallcomeoutallrightWhentheysignalledustojointhemaincommand。
  Therewaseveryroundexpended,therewaseverygunnertight,An’theCaptainwavedacorkscrewin’is’and。
  ~ButtheCaptain’ad’isjacket,etc。~
  THE’EATHEN
  The’eathenin’isblindnessbowsdowntowoodan’stone;
  ’Edon’tobeynoordersunlesstheyis’isown;
  ’Ekeeps’isside—armsawful:’eleaves’emallabout,An’thencomesuptheregimentan’pokesthe’eathenout。
  Allalongo’dirtiness,allalongo’mess,Allalongo’doin’thingsrather—more—or—less,Allalongofabby—nay,kul,an’hazar—ho,*
  Mindyoukeepyourriflean’yourselfjus’so!
  *abby—nay:Notnow。kul:To—morrow。hazar—ho:Waitabit。
  Theyoungrecruitis’aughty——’edraf’sfromGawdknowswhere;
  Theybid’imshow’isstockin’san’lay’ismattresssquare;
  ’Ecallsitbloomin’nonsense——’edoesn’tknownomore——
  An’thenupcomes’isCompanyan’kicks’imroundthefloor!
  Theyoungrecruitis’ammered——’etakesitvery’ard;
  ’E’angs’is’eadan’mutters——’esulksabouttheyard;
  ’Etalkso’"crueltyrants"’e’llswingforby—an’—by,An’theothers’earsan’mocks’im,an’theboygoesorftocry。
  Theyoungrecruitissilly——’ethinkso’suicide;
  ’E’slost’isgutter—devil;’e’asn’tgot’ispride;
  Butdaybydaytheykicks’im,which’elps’imonabit,Till’efinds’isselfonemornin’withafullan’properkit。
  Gettin’clearo’dirtiness,gettin’donewithmess,Gettin’shuto’doin’thingsrather—more—or—less;
  Notsofondofabby—nay,kul,norhazar—ho,Learnstokeep’isriflean’’isselfjus’so!
  Theyoungrecruitis’appy——’ethrowsachesttosuit;
  Yousee’imgrowmustaches;you’ear’imslap’isboot;
  ’Elearnstodropthe"bloodies"fromeveryword’eslings,An’’eshowsan’ealthybrisketwhen’estripsforbarsan’rings。
  Thecruel—tyrant—sergeantstheywatch’im’arfayear;
  Theywatch’imwith’iscomrades,theywatch’imwith’isbeer;
  Theywatch’imwiththewomenattheregimentaldance,Andthecruel—tyrant—sergeantssend’isnamealongfor"Lance"。
  An’now’e’s’arfo’nothin’,an’allaprivateyet,’Isroomtheyupan’rags’imtoseewhattheywillget;
  Theyrags’imlowan’cunnin’,eachdirtytricktheycan,But’elearnstosweat’istemperan’’elearnstosweat’isman。
  An’,last,aColour—Sergeant,assuchtobeobeyed,’Eschools’ismenatcricket,’etells’emonparade;
  Theysees’emquickan’’andy,uncommonsetan’smart,An’so’etalkstoorficerswhich’avetheCoreat’eart。
  ’Elearnstodo’iswatchin’withoutitshowin’plain;
  ’Elearnstosaveadummy,an’shove’imstraightagain;
  ’Elearnstocheckarankerthat’sbuyin’leavetoshirk;
  An’’elearnstomakemenlike’imsothey’lllearntoliketheirwork。
  An’whenitcomestomarchin’he’llseetheirsocksareright,An’whenitcomestoaction’eshows’em’owtosight;
  ’Eknowstheirwaysofthinkin’andjustwhat’sintheirmind;
  ’Eknowswhentheyaretakin’onan’whenthey’vefellbe’ind。
  ’Eknowseachtalkin’corprilthatleadsasquadastray;
  ’Efeels’isinnards’eavin’,’isbowelsgivin’way;
  ’Eseestheblue—whitefacesalltryin’’ardtogrin,An’’estandsan’waitsan’sufferstillit’stimetocap’emin。
  An’nowthehuglybulletscomepeckin’throughthedust,An’noonewantstoface’em,buteverybeggarmust;
  So,likeamaninironswhichisn’tgladtogo,Theymoves’emoffbycompaniesuncommonstiffan’slow。
  Ofall’isfiveyears’schoolin’theydon’tremembermuchExcep’thenotretreatin’,thestepan’keepin’touch。
  Itlooksliketeachin’wastedwhentheyduckan’spreadan’’op,Butif’e’adn’tlearned’emthey’dbeallabouttheshop!
  An’nowit’s"’Oogoesbackward?"an’nowit’s"’Oocomeson?"
  Andnowit’s"Getthedoolies,"an’nowthecaptain’sgone;
  An’nowit’sbloodymurder,butallthewhilethey’ear’Isvoice,thesameasbarrickdrill,a—shepherdin’therear。
  ’E’sjustassickastheyare,’is’eartisliketosplit,But’eworks’em,works’em,works’emtillhefeels’emtakethebit;
  Therestis’oldin’steadytillthewatchfulbuglesplay,An’’elifts’em,lifts’em,lifts’emthroughthechargethatwinstheday!
  The’eathenin’isblindnessbowsdowntowoodan’stone;
  ’Edon’tobeynoordersunlesstheyis’isown;
  The’eathenin’isblindnessmustendwhere’ebegan,ButthebackboneoftheArmyisthenon—commissionedman!
  Keepawayfromdirtiness——keepawayfrommess。
  Don’tgetintodoin’thingsrather—more—or—less!
  Let’sha’donewithabby—nay,kul,an’hazar—ho;
  Mindyoukeepyourriflean’yourselfjus’so!
  THESHUT—EYESENTRY
  SeztheJuniorOrderlySergeantTotheSeniorOrderlyMan:
  "OurOrderlyOrf’cer’s~hokee—mut~,You’elp’imallyoucan。
  Forthewinewasoldandthenightiscold,An’thebestwemaygowrong,So,’fore’egitstothesentry—box,Youpassthewordalong。"
  Soitwas"Rounds!WhatRounds?"attwoofafrostynight,’E’s’oldin’onbythesergeant’ssash,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
  An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"Oh,ain’t’edrippin’tight!
  ’E’llneedanaffidavitprettybadlyby—an’—by。
  Themoonwaswhiteonthebarricks,Theroadwaswhitean’wide,An’theOrderlyOrf’certookitall,An’theten—footditchbeside。
  An’thecorporalpulledan’thesergeantpushed,An’thethreetheydancedalong,ButI’dshutmyeyesinthesentry—box,SoIdidn’tseenothin’wrong。
  Thoughitwas"Rounds!WhatRounds?"Ocorporal,’old’imup!
  ’E’susin’’iscapasitshouldn’tbeused,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
  An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"Ho,shunthefoamin’cup!
  ’E’llneed,etc。
  ’Twasafterfourinthemornin’;
  We’adtostopthefun,An’wesent’im’omeonabullock—cart,With’isbeltan’stockundone;
  Butwesluiced’imdownan’wewashed’imout,An’afirst—classjobwemade,Whenwesaved’im,smartasabombardier,Forsix—o’clockparade。
  It’adbeen"Rounds!WhatRounds?"Oh,shove’imstraightagain!
  ’E’susin’’isswordforabicycle,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
  An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"’E’scalledme"Darlin’Jane"!
  ’E’llneed,etc。
  Thedrillwaslongan’’eavy,Theskywas’otan’blue,An’’iseyewaswildan’’is’airwaswet,But’issergeantpulled’imthrough。
  Ourmenwasgoodoldtrusties——
  They’ddoneitontheir’ead;
  Butyououghtto’ave’eard’emmarkin’timeTo’idethethings’esaid!
  Foritwas"Rightflank——wheel!"for"’Alt,an’standatease!"
  An’"Leftextend!"for"Centreclose!"Omarker,shutyoureye!
  An’itwas,"’Ere,sir,’ere!beforetheColonelsees!"
  Soheneededaffidavitsprettybadlyby—an’—by。
  Therewastwo—an’—thirtysergeants,Therewascorp’ralsforty—one,Therewasjustnine’undredrankan’fileTosweartoatoucho’sun。
  Therewasme’e’dkissedinthesentry—box,AsI’avenottoldinmysong,ButItookmyoath,whichwereBibletruth,I’adn’tseennothin’wrong。
  There’sthemthat’s’otan’’aughty,There’sthemthat’scoldan’’ard,Buttherecomesanightwhenthebestgetstight,AndthenturnsouttheGuard。
  I’veseenthem’idetheirliquorIneverykindo’way,Butmostdependsonmakin’friendsWithPrivitThomasA。!
  Whenitis"Rounds!WhatRounds?"’E’sbreathin’through’isnose。
  ’E’sreelin’,rollin’,roarin’tight,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
  An’itis"Pass!All’swell!"An’that’sthewayitgoes:
  We’ll’elp’imfor’ismother,an’’e’ll’elpusby—an’—by!
  "MARY,PITYWOMEN!"
  Youcallyourselfaman,Forallyouusedtoswear,An’leaveme,asyoucan,Mycertainshametobear?
  I’ear!Youdonotcare——
  Youdonetheworstyouknow。
  I’ateyou,grinnin’there……
  Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
  Nicewhileitlasted,an’nowitisover——
  Tearoutyour’eartan’good—byetoyourlover!
  What’stheuseo’grievin’,whenthemotherthatboreyou(Mary,pitywomen!)knewitallbeforeyou?
  Itaren’tnofalsealarm,Thefinishtoyourfun;
  You——you’avebrungthe’arm,An’I’mtheruinedone;
  An’nowyou’lloffan’runWithsomenewfoolintow。
  Your’eart?You’aven’tnone……
  Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
  Whenamanistiredthereisnaughtwillbind’im;
  All’esolemnpromised’ewillshovebe’ind’im。
  What’sthegoodo’prayin’forTheWrathtostrike’im(Mary,pitywomen!),whentherestarelike’im?
  What’opeformeor——it?
  What’sleftforustodo?
  I’vewalkedwithmenabit,Butthis——butthisisyou。
  So’elpmeChrist,it’strue!
  WherecanI’ideorgo?
  Youcowardthroughandthrough!……
  Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
  Allthemoreyougive’emthelessaretheyforgivin’——
  Loveliesdead,an’youcannotkiss’imlivin’。
  Downtheroad’eledyouthereisnoreturnin’
  (Mary,pitywomen!),butyou’relateinlearnin’!
  You’dliketotreatmefair?
  Youcan’t,becausewe’repore?
  We’dstarve?WhatdoIcare!
  Wemight,but~this~isshore!
  Iwantthename——nomore——
  Thename,an’linestoshow,An’nottobean’ore……
  Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
  What’sthegoodo’pleadin’,whenthemotherthatboreyou(Mary,pitywomen!)knewitallbeforeyou?
  Sleepon’ispromisesan’waketoyoursorrow(Mary,pitywomen!),forwesailto—morrow!
  FORTOADMIRE
  TheInjianOceansetsan’smilesSosof’,sobright,sobloomin’blue;
  Therearen’tawaveformilesan’milesExcep’thejigglefromthescrew。
  Theshipisswep’,thedayisdone,Thebugle’sgoneforsmokeandplay;
  An’blackagin’thesettin’sunTheLascarsings,"~Humdecktyhai!~"["I’mlookingout。"]
  Fortoadmirean’fortosee,Fortobe’oldthisworldsowide——
  Itneverdonenogoodtome,ButIcan’tdropitifItried!
  Iseethesergeantspitchin’quoits,I’earthewomenlaughan’talk,Ispyuponthequarter—deckTheorficersan’lydieswalk。
  Ithinksaboutthethingsthatwas,An’leansan’looksacrostthesea,TillspiteofallthecrowdedshipThere’snoonelef’alivebutme。
  ThethingsthatwaswhichI’aveseen,Inbarrick,camp,an’actiontoo,Itellsthemoverbymyself,An’sometimeswondersifthey’retrue;
  Fortheywasodd——mostawfulodd——
  Butallthesamenowtheyareo’er,Theremustbe’eapso’plentysuch,An’ifIwaitI’llseesomemore。
  Oh,I’avecomeuponthebooks,An’frequentbrokeabarrickrule,An’stoodbesidean’watchedmyselfBe’avin’likeabloomin’fool。
  Ipaidmypriceforfindin’out,NornevergrutchedthepriceIpaid,ButsatinClinkwithoutmyboots,Admirin’’owtheworldwasmade。
  Be’oldacrowduponthebeam,An’’umpedabovetheseaappearsOldAden,likeabarrick—stoveThatnoone’slitforyearsan’years!
  IpassedbythatwhenIbegan,An’Igo’ometheroadIcame,Atime—expiredsoldier—manWithsixyears’serviceto’isname。
  Mygirlshesaid,"Oh,staywithme!"
  Mymother’eldmeto’erbreast。
  They’veneverwrittennone,an’soTheymust’avegonewithalltherest——
  WithalltherestwhichI’aveseenAn’foundan’knownan’metalong。
  IcannotsaythethingsIfeel,AndsoIsingmyevenin’song:
  Fortoadmirean’fortosee,Fortobe’oldthisworldsowide——
  Itneverdonenogoodtome,ButIcan’tdropitifItried!
  L’ENVOI
  WhenEarth’slastpictureispaintedandthetubesaretwistedanddried,Whentheoldestcolourshavefaded,andtheyoungestcritichasdied,Weshallrest,and,faith,weshallneedit——liedownforan]aeonortwo,TilltheMasterofAllGoodWorkmenshallputustoworkanew!
  Andthosethatweregoodshallbehappy:theyshallsitinagoldenchair;
  Theyshallsplashataten—leaguecanvaswithbrushesofcomets’hair;
  Theyshallfindrealsaintstodrawfrom——Magdalene,Peter,andPaul;
  Theyshallworkforanageatasittingandneverbetiredatall!
  AndonlytheMastershallpraiseus,andonlytheMastershallblame;
  Andnooneshallworkformoney,andnooneshallworkforfame,Buteachforthejoyoftheworking,andeach,inhisseparatestar,ShalldrawtheThingasheseesItfortheGodofThingsasTheyAre!