Paycouldn’t’oldmewhenmytimewasdone,Forsomethinginmy’eadupsetmeall,TillI’addroppedwhatever’twasforgood,An’,outatsea,be’eldthedock—lightsdie,An’metmymate——thewindthattrampstheworld!
It’slikeabook,Ithink,thisbloomin’world,Whichyoucanreadandcareforjustsolong,ButpresentlyyoufeelthatyouwilldieUnlessyougetthepageyou’rereadin’done,An’turnanother——likelynotsogood;
Butwhatyou’reafteristoturn’emall。
Gawdblessthisworld!Whatevershe’athdone——
Excep’whenawfullong——I’vefounditgood。
Sowrite,beforeIdie,"’Elikeditall!"
BARRACK—ROOMBALLADS
When’Omersmote’isbloomin’lyre,He’d’eardmensingbylandan’sea;
An’whathethought’emightrequire,’Ewentan’took——thesameasme!
Themarket—girlsan’fishermen,Theshepherdsan’thesailors,too,They’eardoldsongsturnupagain,Butkep’itquiet——sameasyou!
Theyknew’estole;’eknewtheyknowed。
Theydidn’ttell,normakeafuss,Butwinkedat’Omerdowntheroad,An’’ewinkedback——thesameasus!
"BACKTOTHEARMYAGAIN"
I’m’ereinatickyulsteran’abrokenbillycock’at,A—layin’ontothesergeantIdon’tknowagunfromabat;
Myshirt’sdoin’dutyforjacket,mysock’sstickin’outo’myboots,An’I’mlearnin’thedamnedoldgoose—stepalongo’thenewrecruits!
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain。
Don’tlookso’ard,forI’aven’tnocard,I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
Idonemysixyears’service。’ErMajestysez:"Good—day——
You’llpleasetocomewhenyou’rerungfor,an’’ere’syour’oleback—pay;
An’fourpenceadayforbaccy——an’bloomin’gen’rous,too;
An’nowyoucanmakeyourfortune——thesameasyourorf’cersdo。"
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
’OwdidIlearntodoright—aboutturn?
I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
Amano’four—an’—twentythat’asn’tlearnedofatrade——
Beside"Reserve"agin’him——’e’dbetterbenevermade。
Itriedmyluckforaquarter,an’thatwasenoughforme,An’Ithoughtof’ErMajesty’sbarricks,an’IthoughtI’dgoan’see。
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
’Tisn’tmyfaultifIdresswhenI’alt——
I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
Thesergeantarstnoquestions,but’ewinkedtheothereye,’Eseztome,"’Shun!"an’Ishunted,thesameasindaysgoneby;
For’esawtheseto’myshoulders,an’Icouldn’t’elp’oldin’straightWhenmean’theotherrookiescomeunderthebarrick—gate。
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
’Oowouldha’thoughtIcouldcarryan’port?
I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
Itookmybath,an’Iwallered——for,Gawd,Ineededitso!
Ismeltthesmello’thebarricks,I’eardthebuglesgo。
I’eardthefeetonthegravel——thefeeto’themenwhatdrill——
An’Iseztomyflutterin’’eart—strings,Isezto’em,"Peace,bestill!"
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain;
’OosaidIknewwhenthe~Jumner~wasdue?
I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
Icarriedmyslopstothetailor;Isezto’im,"Noneo’yourlip!
Youtight’emovertheshoulders,an’loose’emoverthe’ip,Fortheseto’thetunic’s’orrid。"An’’eseztome,"Strikemedead,ButIthoughtyouwasusedtothebusiness!"an’so’edonewhatIsaid。
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain。
Rathertoofreewithmyfancies?Wot——me?
I’mbacktotheArmyagain!
NextweekI’ll’ave’emfitted;I’llbuymeaswagger—cane;
They’llletmefreeo’thebarrickstowalkontheHoeagainInthenameo’WilliamParsons,thatusedtobeEdwardClay,An’——anyporebeggarthatwantsitcandrawmyfourpenceaday!
BacktotheArmyagain,sergeant,BacktotheArmyagain:
Outo’thecoldan’therain,sergeant,Outo’thecoldan’therain。
’Oo’sthere?
Amanthat’stoogoodtobelostyou,Amanthatis’andledan’made——
Amanthatwillpaywhat’ecostyouInlearnin’theotherstheirtrade——parade!
You’redroppin’thepicko’theArmyBecauseyoudon’t’elp’emremain,Butdrives’emtocheattogetouto’thestreetAn’backtotheArmyagain!
"BIRDSOFPREY"MARCH
March!Themudiscakin’goodaboutourtrousies。
Front!——eyesfront,an’watchtheColour—casin’sdrip。
Front!Thefacesofthewomeninthe’ousesAin’tthekindo’thingstotakeaboardtheship。
Cheer!An’we’llnevermarchtovictory。
Cheer!An’we’llneverliveto’earthecannonroar!
TheLargeBirdso’PreyTheywillcarryusaway,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!
Wheel!Oh,keepyourtouch;we’regoin’roundacorner。
Time!——marktime,an’letthemenbe’indusclose。
Lord!thetransport’sfull,an’’alfourlotnoton’er——
Cheer,Ocheer!We’regoingoffwherenooneknows。
March!TheDevil’snonesoblackas’eispainted!
Cheer!We’ll’avesomefunbeforewe’reputaway。
’Alt,an’’and’erout——awoman’sgoneandfainted!
Cheer!Geton——Gawd’elpthemarriedmento—day!
Hoi!Comeup,you’ungrybeggars,toyersorrow。
(’Earthemsaytheywanttheirtea,an’wantitquick!)
Youwon’thavenomindforslingers,notto—morrow——
No;you’llputthe’tween—decksstoveout,bein’sick!
’Alt!Themarriedkit’asalltogobeforeus!
’Courseit’sblockedthebloomin’gangwayupagain!
Cheer,Ocheerthe’OrseGuardswatchin’tendero’erus,Keepin’ussinceeightthismornin’intherain!
Stuckin’eavymarchin’—order,soppedandwringin’——
Sick,beforeourtimetowatch’er’eavean’fall,’Ere’syour’appy’omeatlast,an’stopyoursingin’。
’Alt!Fallinalongthetroop—deck!Silenceall!
Cheer!Forwe’llneverlivetoseenobloomin’victory!
Cheer!An’we’llneverliveto’earthecannonroar!(Onecheermore!)
Thejackalan’thekite’Avean’ealthyappetite,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!(’Ip!Urroar!)
Theeaglean’thecrowTheyarewaitin’everso,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!(’Ip!Urroar!)
Yes,theLargeBirdso’PreyTheywillcarryusaway,An’you’llneverseeyoursoldiersanymore!
"SOLDIERAN’SAILORTOO"
AsIwasspittin’intotheDitchaboardo’the~Crocodile~,Iseedamanonaman—o’—wargotupintheReg’lars’style。
’Ewasscrapin’thepaintfromoffof’erplates,an’Isezto’im,"’Ooareyou?"
Sez’e,"I’maJolly——’ErMajesty’sJolly——soldieran’sailortoo!"
Now’isworkbeginsbyGawdknowswhen,and’isworkisneverthrough;
’Eisn’toneo’thereg’larLine,nor’eisn’toneofthecrew。
’E’sakindofagiddyharumfrodite——soldieran’sailortoo!
An’afterImet’imallovertheworld,a—doin’allkindsofthings,Likelandin’’isselfwithaGatlin’guntotalktothem’eathenkings;
’Esleepsinan’ammickinsteadofacot,an’’edrillswiththedeckonaslew,An’’esweatslikeaJolly——’ErMajesty’sJolly——soldieran’sailortoo!
Forthereisn’tajobonthetopo’theearththebeggardon’tknow,nordo——
Youcanleave’imatnightonabaldman’s’ead,topaddle’isowncanoe——
’E’sasortofabloomin’cosmopolouse——soldieran’sailortoo。
We’vefought’emintrooper,we’vefought’emindock,anddrunkwith’eminbetweens,Whentheycalledustheseasickscull’ry—maids,an’wecalled’emtheAssMarines;
But,whenwewasdownforadoublefatigue,fromWoolwichtoBernardmyo,WesentfortheJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
Theythinkfor’emselves,an’theystealfor’emselves,andtheyneveraskwhat’stodo,Butthey’recampedan’fedan’they’reupan’fedbeforeourbugle’sblew。
Ho!theyain’tnolimpin’procrastitutes——soldieran’sailortoo。
Youmaysaywearefondofan’arness—cut,or’ootin’inbarrick—yards,Orstartin’aBoardSchoolmutinyalongo’theOnionGuards;
Butonceinawhilewecanfinishinstylefortheendsoftheearthtoview,ThesameastheJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
Theycomeofourlot,theywasbrotherstous;
theywasbeggarswe’dmetan’knew;
Yes,barrin’aninchinthechestan’thearm,theywasdoubleso’mean’you;
Fortheyweren’tnospecialchrysanthemums——soldieran’sailortoo!
Totakeyourchanceinthethickofarush,withfiringallabout,Isnothingsobadwhenyou’vecoverto’and,an’leavean’likin’toshout;
Buttostandan’bestilltothe~Birken’ead~drillisadamntoughbullettochew,An’theydoneit,theJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——
soldieran’sailortoo!
Theirworkwasdonewhenit’adn’tbegun;theywasyoungernormean’you;
Theirchoiceitwasplainbetweendrownin’in’eapsan’bein’moppedbythescrew,Sotheystoodan’wasstilltothe~Birken’ead~drill,soldieran’sailortoo!
We’remostofusliars,we’re’arfofusthieves,an’therestareasrankascanbe,Butonceinawhilewecanfinishinstyle(whichI’opeitwon’t’appentome)。
Butitmakesyouthinkbettero’youan’yourfriends,an’theworkyoumay’avetodo,Whenyouthinko’thesinkin’~Victorier~’sJollies——soldieran’sailortoo!
Nowthereisn’tnoroomfortosayyedon’tknow——
they’aveproveditplainandtrue——
Thatwhetherit’sWidow,orwhetherit’sship,Victorier’sworkistodo,An’theydoneit,theJollies——’ErMajesty’sJollies——
soldieran’sailortoo!
SAPPERS
WhentheWatersweredriedan’theEarthdidappear,("It’sallone,"saystheSapper),TheLordHecreatedtheEngineer,HerMajesty’sRoyalEngineer,WiththerankandpayofaSapper!
WhentheFloodcomealongforanextramonsoon,’TwasNoahconstructedthefirstpontoonTotheplansofHerMajesty’s,etc。
Butafterfatigueinthewetan’thesun,OldNoahgotdrunk,whichhewouldn’tha’doneIfhe’dtrainedwith,etc。
WhentheTowero’Babelhadmixedupmen’s~bat~,Someclevercivilianwasmanagingthat,An’noneof,etc。
WhentheJewshadafightatthefootofahill,YoungJoshuaorderedthesuntostandstill,ForhewasaCaptainofEngineers,etc。
WhentheChildrenofIsraelmadebrickswithoutstraw,Theywerelearnin’theregularworkofourCorps,Theworkof,etc。
Foreversincethen,ifawartheywouldwage,Beholdusa—shinin’onhistory’spage——
Firstpagefor,etc。
Welaydowntheirsidingsan’help’ementrain,An’wesweepuptheirmessthroughthebloomin’campaign,Inthestyleof,etc。
Theysendusinfrontwithafusean’amineToblowupthegatesthatarerushedbytheLine,Butbentby,etc。
Theysendusbehindwithapickan’aspade,Todigforthegunsofabullock—brigadeWhichhasaskedfor,etc。
Weworkunderescortintrousersandshirt,An’theheathentheyplugustail—upinthedirt,Annoying,etc。
Weblastouttherockan’weshovelthemud,Wemake’emgoodroadsan’——theyrolldownthe~khud~,Reporting,etc。
Wemake’emtheirbridges,theirwells,an’theirhuts,An’thetelegraph—wiretheenemycuts,An’it’sblamedon,etc。
An’whenwereturn,an’fromwarwewouldcease,Theygrudgeusadornin’thebilletsofpeace,Whicharekeptfor,etc。
Webuild’emnicebarracks——theysweartheyarebad,ThatourColonelsareMethodist,marriedormad,Insultin’,etc。
Theyhaven’tnomannersnorgratitudetoo,Forthemorethatwehelp’em,thelesswilltheydo,Butmockat,etc。
NowtheLine’sbutamanwithaguninhishand,An’Cavalry’sonlywhathorsescanstand,Whenhelpedby,etc。
Artillerymovesbytheleaveo’theground,But~we~arethementhatdosomethingallround,For~we~are,etc。
Ihavestateditplain,an’myargument’sthus("It’sallone,"saystheSapper),There’sonlyoneCorpswhichisperfect——that’sus;
An’theycallusHerMajesty’sEngineers,HerMajesty’sRoyalEngineers,WiththerankandpayofaSapper!
THATDAY
Itgotbeyondallordersan’itgotbeyondall’ope;
Itgottoshammin’woundedan’retirin’fromthe’alt。
’Olecompanieswaslookin’forthenearestroadtoslope;
Itwerejustabloomin’knock—out——an’ourfault!
Nowthereain’tnochorus’eretogive,Northereain’tnobandtoplay;
An’IwishIwasdead’foreIdonewhatIdid,OrseenwhatIseedthatday!
Wewassicko’bein’punished,an’welet’emknowit,too;
An’acompany—commanderupan’’ituswithasword,An’someoneshouted"’Ookit!"an’itcometo~sove—ki—poo~,An’wechuckedourriflesfromus——OmyGawd!
Therewasthirtydeadan’woundedonthegroundwewouldn’tkeep——
No,therewasn’tmorethantwentywhenthefrontbeguntogo;
But,Christ!alongthelineo’flighttheycutusuplikesheep,An’thatwasallwegainedbydoin’so。
I’eardtheknivesbe’indme,butIdursn’tfacemyman,NorIdon’tknowwhereIwentto,’causeIdidn’t’alttosee,TillI’eardabeggarsquealin’outforquarteras’eran,An’IthoughtIknewthevoicean’——itwasme!
Wewas’idin’underbedsteadsmorethan’arfamarchaway;
Wewaslyin’uplikerabbitsallaboutthecountryside;
An’themajorcursed’isMaker’cause’elivedtoseethatday,An’thecolonelbroke’isswordacrost,an’cried。
Wewasrotten’forewestarted——wewasneverdisci~plined~;
Wemadeitoutafavourifanorderwasobeyed;
Yes,everylittledrummer’ad’isrightsan’wrongstomind,Sowehadtopayforteachin’——an’wepaid!
Thepapers’idit’andsome,butyouknowtheArmyknows;
Wewasputtogroomin’camelstilltheregimentswithdrew,An’theygaveuseachamedalforsubduin’England’sfoes,An’I’opeyoulikemysong——becauseit’strue!
An’thereain’tnochorus’eretogive,Northereain’tnobandtoplay;
ButIwishIwasdead’foreIdonewhatIdid,OrseenwhatIseedthatday!
"THEMENTHATFOUGHTATMINDEN"
ASongofInstructionThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasrookiesintheirtime——
SowasthemthatfoughtatWaterloo!
Allthe’olecommand,yuss,fromMindentoMaiwand,Theywasoncedam’sweepslikeyou!
Thendonotbediscouraged,’Eavenisyour’elper,We’lllearnyounottoforget;
An’youmustn’tswearan’curse,oryou’llonlycatchitworse,Forwe’llmakeyousoldiersyet!
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adstocksbeneaththeirchins,Sixinch’ighan’more;
Butfatigueitwastheirpride,andthey~would~notbedeniedTocleanthecook—’ousefloor。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theyhadanarchisticbombsServedto’embynameof’and—grenades;
Buttheygotitintheeye(sameasyouwillby—an’—by)
Whentheyclubbedtheirfield—parades。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adbuttonsupan’down,Two—an’—twentydozenof’emtold;
Buttheydidn’tgrousean’shirkatanhour’sextrywork,Theykept’embrightasgold。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasarmedwithmusketoons,Also,theywasdrilledby’alberdiers;
Idon’tknowwhattheywere,butthesergeantstookgoodcareTheywashedbe’indtheirears。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,they’adevercashin’andWhichtheydidnotbanknorsave,Butspentitgayan’freeontheirbetters——suchasme——
ForthegoodadviceIgave。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywascivil——yuss,theywas——
Neverdidn’ttalko’rightsan’wrongs,Buttheygotitwiththetoe(sameasyouwillgetit——so!)——
Forinterruptingsongs。
ThementhatfoughtatMinden,theywasseveralotherthingsWhichIdon’trememberclear;
But~that’s~thereasonwhy,nowthesix—yearmenaredry,Therookswillstandthebeer!
Thendonotbediscouraged,’Eavenisyour’elper,We’lllearnyounottoforget;
An’youmustn’tswearan’curse,oryou’llonlycatchitworse,Forwe’llmakeyousoldiersyet!
Soldiersyet,ifyou’vegotitinyou——
AllforthesakeoftheCore;
Soldiersyet,ifwe’avetoskinyou——
Runan’getthebeer,JohnnyRaw——JohnnyRaw!
Ho!runan’getthebeer,JohnnyRaw!
CHOLERACAMP
We’vegotthecholererincamp——it’sworsethanfortyfights;
We’redyin’inthewildernessthesameasIsrulites;
It’sbeforeus,an’be’indus,an’wecannotgetaway,An’thedoctor’sjustreportedwe’vetenmoreto—day!
Oh,strikeyourcampan’go,theBugle’scallin’,TheRainsarefallin’——
Thedeadarebushedan’stonedtokeep’emsafebelow;
TheBand’sa—doin’allsheknowstocheerus;
TheChaplain’sgoneandprayedtoGawdto’earus——
To’earus——
OLord,forit’sa—killin’ofusso!
SinceAugust,whenitstarted,it’sbeenstickin’toourtail,Thoughthey’ve’adusoutbymarchesan’they’ve’adusbackbyrail;
Butitrunsasfastastroop—trains,andwecannotgetaway;
An’thesick—listtotheColonelmakestenmoreto—day。
Thereain’tnofuninwomennorthereain’tnobitetodrink;
It’smuchtoowetforshootin’,wecanonlymarchandthink;
An’atevenin’,downthe~nullahs~,wecan’earthejackalssay,"Getup,yourottenbeggars,you’vetenmoreto—day!"
’Twouldmakeamonkeycoughtoseeourwayo’doin’things——
Lieutenantstakin’companiesan’captainstakin’wings,An’Lancesactin’Sergeants——eightfiletoobey——
Forwe’velotso’quickpromotionontendeathsaday!
OurColonel’swhitean’twitterly——’egetsnosleepnorfood,Butmucksaboutin’orspitalwherenothingdoesnogood。
’Esendsus’eapso’comforts,allboughtfrom’ispay——
Buttherearen’tmuchcomfort’andyontendeathsaday。
OurChaplain’sgotabanjo,an’askinnymule’erides,An’thestuff’esaysan’singsus,Lord,itmakesussplitoursides!
With’isblackcoat—tailsa—bobbin’to~Ta—ra—raBoom—der—ay!~
’E’stheproperkindo’~padre~fortendeathsaday。
An’FatherVictor’elps’imwithourRomanCatholicks——
Heknowsan’eapofIrishsongsan’rummyconjurin’tricks;
An’thetwotheyworkstogetherwhenitcomestoplayorpray;
Sowekeeptheballa—rollin’ontendeathsaday。
We’vegotthecholererincamp——we’vegotit’otan’sweet;
Itain’tnoChristmasdinner,butit’s’elpedan’wemusteat。
We’vegonebeyondthefunkin’,’causewe’vefounditdoesn’tpay,An’we’rerockin’roundtheDistrickontendeathsaday!
Thenstrikeyourcampan’go,theRainsarefallin’,TheBugle’scallin’!
Thedeadarebushedan’stonedtokeep’emsafebelow!
An’themthatdonotlikeittheycanlumpit,An’themthatcannotstandittheycanjumpit;
We’vegottodiesomewhere——someway——some’ow——
Wemightaswellbegintodoitnow!
Then,NumberOne,letdownthetent—poleslow,Knockoutthepegsan’’oldthecorners——so!
Foldintheflies,furluptheropes,an’stow!
Oh,strike——oh,strikeyourcampan’go!
(Gawd’elpus!)
THELADIES
I’vetakenmyfunwhereI’vefoundit;
I’veroguedan’I’verangedinmytime;
I’ve’admypickin’o’sweet’earts,An’fouro’thelotwasprime。
Onewasan’arf—castewidow,OnewasawomanatProme,Onewasthewifeofa~jemadar—sais~,[Head—groom。]
An’oneisagirlat’ome。
NowIaren’tno’andwiththeladies,For,takin’’emallalong,Younevercansaytillyou’vetried’em,An’thenyouareliketobewrong。
There’stimeswhenyou’llthinkthatyoumightn’t,There’stimeswhenyou’llknowthatyoumight;
ButthethingsyouwilllearnfromtheYellowan’Brown,They’ll’elpyoualotwiththeWhite!
Iwasayoungunat’Oogli,Shyasagirltobegin;
AggiedeCastrershemademe,An’Aggiewascleverassin;
Olderthanme,butmyfirstun——
Morelikeamothershewere——
Showedmethewaytopromotionan’pay,An’Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
ThenIwasorderedtoBurma,Actin’inchargeo’Bazar,An’Igotmeatiddylive’eathenThroughbuyin’suppliesoff’erpa。
Funnyan’yellowan’faithful——
Dollinateacupshewere,Butwelivedonthesquare,likeatrue—marriedpair,An’Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
ThenwewasshiftedtoNeemuch(OrImightha’beenkeepin’’ernow),An’Itookwithashinyshe—devil,ThewifeofaniggeratMhow;
’Taughtmethegipsy—folks’~bolee~;[Slang。]
Kindo’volcanoshewere,Forsheknifedmeonenight’causeIwishedshewaswhite,AndIlearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
ThenIcome’omeinthetrooper,’Longofakido’sixteen——
GirlfromaconventatMeerut,ThestraightestIever’aveseen。
Loveatfirstsightwas’ertrouble,~She~didn’tknowwhatitwere;
An’Iwouldn’tdosuch,’causeIliked’ertoomuch,But——Ilearnedaboutwomenfrom’er!
I’vetakenmyfunwhereI’vefoundit,An’nowImustpayformyfun,Forthemoreyou’aveknowno’theothersThelesswillyousettletoone;
An’theendofit’ssittin’andthinkin’,An’dreamin’Hell—firestosee;
Sobewarnedbymylot(whichIknowyouwillnot),An’learnaboutwomenfromme!
WhatdidtheColonel’sLadythink?
Nobodyneverknew。
SomebodyaskedtheSergeant’swife,~An’~shetold’emtrue!
Whenyougettoamaninthecase,They’relikeasarowofpins——
FortheColonel’sLadyan’JudyO’GradyAresistersundertheirskins!
BILL’AWKINS
"’AsanybodyseenBill’Awkins?"
"Now’owinthedevilwouldIknow?"
"’E’stakenmygirloutwalkin’,An’I’vegottotell’imso——
Gawd——bless——’im!
I’vegottotell’imso。"
"D’yerknowwhat’e’slike,Bill’Awkins?"
"NowwhatinthedevilwouldIcare?"
"’E’sthelivin’,breathin’imageofanorgan—grinder’smonkey,Withapoundofgreasein’is’air——
Gawd——bless——’im!
An’apoundo’greasein’is’air。"
"An’s’poseyoumetBill’Awkins,Nowwhatinthedevil’udyedo?"
"I’dopen’ischeekto’ischin—strapbuckle,An’bungup’isbotheyes,too——
Gawd——bless——’im!
An’bungup’isbotheyes,too!"
"Look’ere,where’ecomes,Bill’Awkins!
Nowwhatinthedevilwillyousay?"
"Itisn’tfitan’propertobefightin’onaSunday,SoI’llpass’imthetimeo’day——
Gawd——bless——’im!
I’llpass’imthetimeo’day!"
THEMOTHER—LODGE
TherewasRundle,StationMaster,An’BeazeleyoftheRail,An’’Ackman,Commissariat,An’Donkin’o’theJail;
An’Blake,Conductor—Sargent,OurMastertwicewas’e,With’imthatkepttheEurope—shop,OldFramjeeEduljee。
Outside——"Sergeant!Sir!Salute!Salaam!"
Inside——"Brother",an’itdoesn’tdono’arm。
WemetupontheLevelan’wepartedontheSquare,An’IwasJuniorDeaconinmyMother—Lodgeoutthere!
We’dBolaNath,Accountant,An’SaultheAdenJew,An’DinMohammed,draughtsmanOftheSurveyOfficetoo;
TherewasBabuChuckerbutty,An’AmirSinghtheSikh,An’Castrofromthefittin’—sheds,TheRomanCatholick!
We’adn’tgoodregalia,An’ourLodgewasoldan’bare,ButweknewtheAncientLandmarks,An’wekep’’emtoahair;
An’lookin’onitbackwardsItoftenstrikesmethus,Thereain’tsuchthingsasinfidels,Excep’,per’aps,it’sus。
Formonthly,afterLabour,We’dallsitdownandsmoke(Wedursn’tgivenobanquits,LestaBrother’scastewerebroke),An’manonmangottalkin’
Religionan’therest,An’everymancomparin’
OftheGod’eknewthebest。
Somanonmangottalkin’,An’notaBrotherstirredTillmornin’wakedtheparrotsAn’thatdam’brain—fever—bird;
We’dsay’twas’ighlycurious,An’we’dallride’ometobed,WithMo’ammed,God,an’ShivaChangin’picketsinour’ead。
FulloftonGuv’mentserviceThisrovin’foot’athpressed,An’borefraternalgreetin’sTotheLodgeseastan’west,Accordin’ascommandedFromKohattoSingapore,ButIwishthatImightseethemInmyMother—Lodgeoncemore!
IwishthatImightseethem,MyBrethrenblackan’brown,Withthetrichiessmellin’pleasantAn’the~hog—darn~passin’down;[Cigar—lighter。]
An’theoldkhansamahsnorin’[Butler。]
Onthebottle—khanafloor,[Pantry。]
LikeaMasteringoodstandingWithmyMother—Lodgeoncemore!
Outside——"Sergeant!Sir!Salute!Salaam!"
Inside——"Brother",an’itdoesn’tdono’arm。
WemetupontheLevelan’wepartedontheSquare,An’IwasJuniorDeaconinmyMother—Lodgeoutthere!
"FOLLOWME’OME"
Therewasnoonelike’im,’OrseorFoot,Noranyo’theGunsIknew;
An’becauseitwasso,why,o’course’ewentan’died,Whichisjustwhatthebestmendo。
Soit’sknockoutyourpipesan’followme!
An’it’sfinishupyourswipesan’followme!
Oh,’arktothebigdrumcallin’,Followme——followme’ome!
’Ismaresheneighsthe’oledaylong,Shepawsthe’olenightthrough,An’shewon’ttake’erfeed’causeo’waitin’for’isstep,Whichisjustwhatabeastwoulddo。
’IsgirlshegoeswithabombardierBefore’ermonthisthrough;
An’thebannsareupinchurch,forshe’sgotthebeggarhooked,Whichisjustwhatagirlwoulddo。
Wefought’boutadog——lastweekitwere——
Nomorethanaroundortwo;
ButIstrook’imcruel’ard,an’IwishI’adn’tnow,Whichisjustwhatamancan’tdo。
’EwasallthatI’adinthewayofafriend,An’I’ve’adtofindonenew;
ButI’dgivemypayan’stripefortogetthebeggarback,Whichit’sjusttoolatetodo。
Soit’sknockoutyourpipesan’followme!
An’it’sfinishoffyourswipesan’followme!
Oh,’arktothefifesa—crawlin’!
Followme——followme’ome!
Take’imaway!’E’sgonewherethebestmengo。
Take’imaway!An’thegun—wheelsturnin’slow。
Take’imaway!There’smorefromtheplace’ecome。
Take’imaway,withthelimberan’thedrum。
Forit’s"Threeroundsblank"an’followme,An’it’s"Thirteenrank"an’followme;
Oh,passin’theloveo’women,Followme——followme’ome!
THESERGEANT’SWEDDIN’
’Ewaswarnedagin’’er——
That’swhatmade’imlook;
Shewaswarnedagin’’im——
Thatiswhyshetook。
’Wouldn’t’earnoreason,’Wentan’doneitblind;
Weknowallabout’em,They’vegotalltofind!
CheerfortheSergeant’sweddin’——
Give’emonecheermore!
Greygun—’orsesinthelando,An’arogueismarriedto,etc。
What’stheuseo’tellin’
’Arfthelotshe’sbeen?
’E’sabloomin’robber,~An’~’ekeepscanteen。
’Owdid’eget’isbuggy?
Gawd,youneedn’task!
’Made’isfortygallonOutofeverycask!
Watch’im,with’is’aircut,Countusfilin’by——
Won’ttheColonelpraise’isPop——u——lar——i——ty!
We’avescorestosettle——
Scoresformorethanbeer;
She’sthegirltopay’em——
Thatiswhywe’re’ere!
Seethechaplainthinkin’?
Seethewomensmile?
Twigthemarriedwinkin’
Astheytaketheaisle?
Keepyourside—armsquiet,Dressin’bytheBand。
Ho!You’olybeggars,Coughbe’indyour’and!
Nowit’sdonean’over,’Eartheorgansqueak,"~’Voicethatbreathedo’erEden~"——
Ain’tshegotthecheek!
Whitean’laylockribbons,Thinkyourselfsofine!
I’dprayGawdtotakeyer’ForeImadeyermine!
Escorttothekerridge,Wish’imluck,thebrute!
Chucktheslippersafter——
[Pity’tain’taboot!]
Bowin’likealady,Blushin’likealad——
’Oowouldsaytosee’emBothisrottenbad?
CheerfortheSergeant’sweddin’——
Give’emonecheermore!
Greygun—’orsesinthelando,An’arogueismarriedto,etc。
THEJACKET
ThroughthePlaguesofEgyp’wewaschasin’Arabi,Gettin’downan’shovin’inthesun;
An’youmight’avecalledusdirty,an’youmightha’calledusdry,An’youmight’ave’eardustalkin’atthegun。
ButtheCaptain’ad’isjacket,an’thejacketitwasnew——
(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
An’thewettin’ofthejacketistheproperthingtodo,Norwedidn’tkeep’imwaitin’verylong。
Onedaytheygaveusordersfortoshellasandredoubt,Loadin’downtheaxle—armswithcase;
ButtheCaptainknew’isdooty,an’hetookthecrackersoutAn’heputsomeproperliquorinitsplace。
An’theCaptainsawtheshrapnel,whichissix—an’—thirtyclear。
(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
"Willyoudrawtheweight,"sez’e,"orwillyoudrawthebeer?"
An’wedidn’tkeep’imwaitin’verylong。
~FortheCaptain,etc。~
Thenwetrottedgentle,nottobreakthebloomin’glass,ThoughtheArabites’adalltheirrangesmarked;
Butwedursn’t’ardlygallop,forthemostwasbottledBass,An’we’ddreamedofitsincewewasdisembarked:
Sowefiredeconomicwiththeshellswe’adin’and,(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
Butthebeggarsundercover’adtheimpidencetostand,An’wecouldn’tkeep’emwaitin’verylong。
~AndtheCaptain,etc。~
Sowefinished’arftheliquor(an’theCaptaintookchampagne),An’theArabiteswasshootin’allthewhile;
An’weleftourwounded’appywiththeemptiesontheplain,An’weusedthebloomin’gunsforpro—jec—tile!
Welimberedupan’galloped——therewerenothin’elsetodo——
(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
An’theBatterycamea—boundin’likeaboundin’kangaroo,Buttheydidn’twatchuscomin’verylong。
~AstheCaptain,etc。~
Wewasgoin’mostextended——wewasdrivin’veryfine,An’theArabiteswereloosin’’ighan’wide,TilltheCaptaintooktheglassywitharattlin’rightincline,An’wedroppedupontheir’eadstheotherside。
Thenwegive’emquarter——suchas’adn’tupandcut,(’OrseGunners,listentomysong!)
An’theCaptainstoodalimberfuloffizzy——somethin’Brutt,Butwedidn’tleaveitfizzingverylong。
~FortheCaptain,etc。~
Wemightha’beencourt—martialled,butitallcomeoutallrightWhentheysignalledustojointhemaincommand。
Therewaseveryroundexpended,therewaseverygunnertight,An’theCaptainwavedacorkscrewin’is’and。
~ButtheCaptain’ad’isjacket,etc。~
THE’EATHEN
The’eathenin’isblindnessbowsdowntowoodan’stone;
’Edon’tobeynoordersunlesstheyis’isown;
’Ekeeps’isside—armsawful:’eleaves’emallabout,An’thencomesuptheregimentan’pokesthe’eathenout。
Allalongo’dirtiness,allalongo’mess,Allalongo’doin’thingsrather—more—or—less,Allalongofabby—nay,kul,an’hazar—ho,*
Mindyoukeepyourriflean’yourselfjus’so!
*abby—nay:Notnow。kul:To—morrow。hazar—ho:Waitabit。
Theyoungrecruitis’aughty——’edraf’sfromGawdknowswhere;
Theybid’imshow’isstockin’san’lay’ismattresssquare;
’Ecallsitbloomin’nonsense——’edoesn’tknownomore——
An’thenupcomes’isCompanyan’kicks’imroundthefloor!
Theyoungrecruitis’ammered——’etakesitvery’ard;
’E’angs’is’eadan’mutters——’esulksabouttheyard;
’Etalkso’"crueltyrants"’e’llswingforby—an’—by,An’theothers’earsan’mocks’im,an’theboygoesorftocry。
Theyoungrecruitissilly——’ethinkso’suicide;
’E’slost’isgutter—devil;’e’asn’tgot’ispride;
Butdaybydaytheykicks’im,which’elps’imonabit,Till’efinds’isselfonemornin’withafullan’properkit。
Gettin’clearo’dirtiness,gettin’donewithmess,Gettin’shuto’doin’thingsrather—more—or—less;
Notsofondofabby—nay,kul,norhazar—ho,Learnstokeep’isriflean’’isselfjus’so!
Theyoungrecruitis’appy——’ethrowsachesttosuit;
Yousee’imgrowmustaches;you’ear’imslap’isboot;
’Elearnstodropthe"bloodies"fromeveryword’eslings,An’’eshowsan’ealthybrisketwhen’estripsforbarsan’rings。
Thecruel—tyrant—sergeantstheywatch’im’arfayear;
Theywatch’imwith’iscomrades,theywatch’imwith’isbeer;
Theywatch’imwiththewomenattheregimentaldance,Andthecruel—tyrant—sergeantssend’isnamealongfor"Lance"。
An’now’e’s’arfo’nothin’,an’allaprivateyet,’Isroomtheyupan’rags’imtoseewhattheywillget;
Theyrags’imlowan’cunnin’,eachdirtytricktheycan,But’elearnstosweat’istemperan’’elearnstosweat’isman。
An’,last,aColour—Sergeant,assuchtobeobeyed,’Eschools’ismenatcricket,’etells’emonparade;
Theysees’emquickan’’andy,uncommonsetan’smart,An’so’etalkstoorficerswhich’avetheCoreat’eart。
’Elearnstodo’iswatchin’withoutitshowin’plain;
’Elearnstosaveadummy,an’shove’imstraightagain;
’Elearnstocheckarankerthat’sbuyin’leavetoshirk;
An’’elearnstomakemenlike’imsothey’lllearntoliketheirwork。
An’whenitcomestomarchin’he’llseetheirsocksareright,An’whenitcomestoaction’eshows’em’owtosight;
’Eknowstheirwaysofthinkin’andjustwhat’sintheirmind;
’Eknowswhentheyaretakin’onan’whenthey’vefellbe’ind。
’Eknowseachtalkin’corprilthatleadsasquadastray;
’Efeels’isinnards’eavin’,’isbowelsgivin’way;
’Eseestheblue—whitefacesalltryin’’ardtogrin,An’’estandsan’waitsan’sufferstillit’stimetocap’emin。
An’nowthehuglybulletscomepeckin’throughthedust,An’noonewantstoface’em,buteverybeggarmust;
So,likeamaninironswhichisn’tgladtogo,Theymoves’emoffbycompaniesuncommonstiffan’slow。
Ofall’isfiveyears’schoolin’theydon’tremembermuchExcep’thenotretreatin’,thestepan’keepin’touch。
Itlooksliketeachin’wastedwhentheyduckan’spreadan’’op,Butif’e’adn’tlearned’emthey’dbeallabouttheshop!
An’nowit’s"’Oogoesbackward?"an’nowit’s"’Oocomeson?"
Andnowit’s"Getthedoolies,"an’nowthecaptain’sgone;
An’nowit’sbloodymurder,butallthewhilethey’ear’Isvoice,thesameasbarrickdrill,a—shepherdin’therear。
’E’sjustassickastheyare,’is’eartisliketosplit,But’eworks’em,works’em,works’emtillhefeels’emtakethebit;
Therestis’oldin’steadytillthewatchfulbuglesplay,An’’elifts’em,lifts’em,lifts’emthroughthechargethatwinstheday!
The’eathenin’isblindnessbowsdowntowoodan’stone;
’Edon’tobeynoordersunlesstheyis’isown;
The’eathenin’isblindnessmustendwhere’ebegan,ButthebackboneoftheArmyisthenon—commissionedman!
Keepawayfromdirtiness——keepawayfrommess。
Don’tgetintodoin’thingsrather—more—or—less!
Let’sha’donewithabby—nay,kul,an’hazar—ho;
Mindyoukeepyourriflean’yourselfjus’so!
THESHUT—EYESENTRY
SeztheJuniorOrderlySergeantTotheSeniorOrderlyMan:
"OurOrderlyOrf’cer’s~hokee—mut~,You’elp’imallyoucan。
Forthewinewasoldandthenightiscold,An’thebestwemaygowrong,So,’fore’egitstothesentry—box,Youpassthewordalong。"
Soitwas"Rounds!WhatRounds?"attwoofafrostynight,’E’s’oldin’onbythesergeant’ssash,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"Oh,ain’t’edrippin’tight!
’E’llneedanaffidavitprettybadlyby—an’—by。
Themoonwaswhiteonthebarricks,Theroadwaswhitean’wide,An’theOrderlyOrf’certookitall,An’theten—footditchbeside。
An’thecorporalpulledan’thesergeantpushed,An’thethreetheydancedalong,ButI’dshutmyeyesinthesentry—box,SoIdidn’tseenothin’wrong。
Thoughitwas"Rounds!WhatRounds?"Ocorporal,’old’imup!
’E’susin’’iscapasitshouldn’tbeused,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"Ho,shunthefoamin’cup!
’E’llneed,etc。
’Twasafterfourinthemornin’;
We’adtostopthefun,An’wesent’im’omeonabullock—cart,With’isbeltan’stockundone;
Butwesluiced’imdownan’wewashed’imout,An’afirst—classjobwemade,Whenwesaved’im,smartasabombardier,Forsix—o’clockparade。
It’adbeen"Rounds!WhatRounds?"Oh,shove’imstraightagain!
’E’susin’’isswordforabicycle,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
An’itwas"Pass!All’swell!"’E’scalledme"Darlin’Jane"!
’E’llneed,etc。
Thedrillwaslongan’’eavy,Theskywas’otan’blue,An’’iseyewaswildan’’is’airwaswet,But’issergeantpulled’imthrough。
Ourmenwasgoodoldtrusties——
They’ddoneitontheir’ead;
Butyououghtto’ave’eard’emmarkin’timeTo’idethethings’esaid!
Foritwas"Rightflank——wheel!"for"’Alt,an’standatease!"
An’"Leftextend!"for"Centreclose!"Omarker,shutyoureye!
An’itwas,"’Ere,sir,’ere!beforetheColonelsees!"
Soheneededaffidavitsprettybadlyby—an’—by。
Therewastwo—an’—thirtysergeants,Therewascorp’ralsforty—one,Therewasjustnine’undredrankan’fileTosweartoatoucho’sun。
Therewasme’e’dkissedinthesentry—box,AsI’avenottoldinmysong,ButItookmyoath,whichwereBibletruth,I’adn’tseennothin’wrong。
There’sthemthat’s’otan’’aughty,There’sthemthat’scoldan’’ard,Buttherecomesanightwhenthebestgetstight,AndthenturnsouttheGuard。
I’veseenthem’idetheirliquorIneverykindo’way,Butmostdependsonmakin’friendsWithPrivitThomasA。!
Whenitis"Rounds!WhatRounds?"’E’sbreathin’through’isnose。
’E’sreelin’,rollin’,roarin’tight,but,sentry,shutyoureye。
An’itis"Pass!All’swell!"An’that’sthewayitgoes:
We’ll’elp’imfor’ismother,an’’e’ll’elpusby—an’—by!
"MARY,PITYWOMEN!"
Youcallyourselfaman,Forallyouusedtoswear,An’leaveme,asyoucan,Mycertainshametobear?
I’ear!Youdonotcare——
Youdonetheworstyouknow。
I’ateyou,grinnin’there……
Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
Nicewhileitlasted,an’nowitisover——
Tearoutyour’eartan’good—byetoyourlover!
What’stheuseo’grievin’,whenthemotherthatboreyou(Mary,pitywomen!)knewitallbeforeyou?
Itaren’tnofalsealarm,Thefinishtoyourfun;
You——you’avebrungthe’arm,An’I’mtheruinedone;
An’nowyou’lloffan’runWithsomenewfoolintow。
Your’eart?You’aven’tnone……
Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
Whenamanistiredthereisnaughtwillbind’im;
All’esolemnpromised’ewillshovebe’ind’im。
What’sthegoodo’prayin’forTheWrathtostrike’im(Mary,pitywomen!),whentherestarelike’im?
What’opeformeor——it?
What’sleftforustodo?
I’vewalkedwithmenabit,Butthis——butthisisyou。
So’elpmeChrist,it’strue!
WherecanI’ideorgo?
Youcowardthroughandthrough!……
Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
Allthemoreyougive’emthelessaretheyforgivin’——
Loveliesdead,an’youcannotkiss’imlivin’。
Downtheroad’eledyouthereisnoreturnin’
(Mary,pitywomen!),butyou’relateinlearnin’!
You’dliketotreatmefair?
Youcan’t,becausewe’repore?
We’dstarve?WhatdoIcare!
Wemight,but~this~isshore!
Iwantthename——nomore——
Thename,an’linestoshow,An’nottobean’ore……
Ah,Gawd,Iloveyouso!
What’sthegoodo’pleadin’,whenthemotherthatboreyou(Mary,pitywomen!)knewitallbeforeyou?
Sleepon’ispromisesan’waketoyoursorrow(Mary,pitywomen!),forwesailto—morrow!
FORTOADMIRE
TheInjianOceansetsan’smilesSosof’,sobright,sobloomin’blue;
Therearen’tawaveformilesan’milesExcep’thejigglefromthescrew。
Theshipisswep’,thedayisdone,Thebugle’sgoneforsmokeandplay;
An’blackagin’thesettin’sunTheLascarsings,"~Humdecktyhai!~"["I’mlookingout。"]
Fortoadmirean’fortosee,Fortobe’oldthisworldsowide——
Itneverdonenogoodtome,ButIcan’tdropitifItried!
Iseethesergeantspitchin’quoits,I’earthewomenlaughan’talk,Ispyuponthequarter—deckTheorficersan’lydieswalk。
Ithinksaboutthethingsthatwas,An’leansan’looksacrostthesea,TillspiteofallthecrowdedshipThere’snoonelef’alivebutme。
ThethingsthatwaswhichI’aveseen,Inbarrick,camp,an’actiontoo,Itellsthemoverbymyself,An’sometimeswondersifthey’retrue;
Fortheywasodd——mostawfulodd——
Butallthesamenowtheyareo’er,Theremustbe’eapso’plentysuch,An’ifIwaitI’llseesomemore。
Oh,I’avecomeuponthebooks,An’frequentbrokeabarrickrule,An’stoodbesidean’watchedmyselfBe’avin’likeabloomin’fool。
Ipaidmypriceforfindin’out,NornevergrutchedthepriceIpaid,ButsatinClinkwithoutmyboots,Admirin’’owtheworldwasmade。
Be’oldacrowduponthebeam,An’’umpedabovetheseaappearsOldAden,likeabarrick—stoveThatnoone’slitforyearsan’years!
IpassedbythatwhenIbegan,An’Igo’ometheroadIcame,Atime—expiredsoldier—manWithsixyears’serviceto’isname。
Mygirlshesaid,"Oh,staywithme!"
Mymother’eldmeto’erbreast。
They’veneverwrittennone,an’soTheymust’avegonewithalltherest——
WithalltherestwhichI’aveseenAn’foundan’knownan’metalong。
IcannotsaythethingsIfeel,AndsoIsingmyevenin’song:
Fortoadmirean’fortosee,Fortobe’oldthisworldsowide——
Itneverdonenogoodtome,ButIcan’tdropitifItried!
L’ENVOI
WhenEarth’slastpictureispaintedandthetubesaretwistedanddried,Whentheoldestcolourshavefaded,andtheyoungestcritichasdied,Weshallrest,and,faith,weshallneedit——liedownforan]aeonortwo,TilltheMasterofAllGoodWorkmenshallputustoworkanew!
Andthosethatweregoodshallbehappy:theyshallsitinagoldenchair;
Theyshallsplashataten—leaguecanvaswithbrushesofcomets’hair;
Theyshallfindrealsaintstodrawfrom——Magdalene,Peter,andPaul;
Theyshallworkforanageatasittingandneverbetiredatall!
AndonlytheMastershallpraiseus,andonlytheMastershallblame;
Andnooneshallworkformoney,andnooneshallworkforfame,Buteachforthejoyoftheworking,andeach,inhisseparatestar,ShalldrawtheThingasheseesItfortheGodofThingsasTheyAre!