"Heisamasterofhumorrecitations，"hismothernowsaidtome。
　　"Perhapsyouknow，orperhapsyoudonotknow，howhighupthatisreckoned。"
　　"Why，mother，Leolacanspeakallaroundme。Shecan，"Guyaddedtome，noddinghisheadconfidentially。
　　Ididnotbelievehim，IthinkbecauseIpreferredhisnametothatofLeola。
　　"LeolawillstudyinParis，France，"announcedMrs。Mattern，arrivingwithherchild。"Shehasnoadvantageshere。Thisisthegentleman，Leola。"
　　ButbeforeIhadmorethannotedadark—eyedmaidenwhowouldnotlookatme，butstoodinskirtstooyoungforherfigure，blackstockings，andadangleofhairthatshouldhavebeenup，herlargeparenthadthrustintomyhandascrap—book。
　　"HereiswhattheSantaFeObserversays"；andwhenIwouldhaveread，shereadaloudforme。’ThenextistheLosAngelesChristianHome。Andhere’swhattheywroteaboutherinElPaso：’Herhistrionicgeniusforonesoyoung’——itcommencesbelowthatpicture。That’sLeola。"Inowrecognizedtheblackstockingsandthehair。"Here’swhataliteraryladyinLordsburgthinks，"pursuedMrs。Mattern。
　　"Nevermindthat，"murmuredLeola。
　　"Ishall。"Andthemotherreadthelettertome。"Leolahasspokeinfiveculturedcities，"shewenton。"ArvasitacandepicthowshewasencoredatAlbuquerquelastEaster—Monday。"
　　"Yes，sir，threerecalls，"saidArvasita，arrivingatourgroupbythefence。Aneldersister，shewas，evidently。"Areyouacquaintedwith’Camill’？"sheaskedme，withatrifleofsternness；anduponmyhesitating，"thecelebratedFrenchdraymaof’Camill’，"sherepeated，withatriflemoreofsternness。"Camillistheladyinitwhodiesofconsumption。Leolarecitestheletter—and—coughingscene，ActThird。Mr。
　　PattersonofColoraydoSpringspronouncesitsuperiortoModjeska。"
　　"ThatisLeolaagain，"saidMrs。Mattern，showingmeanothernewspapercut——hair，stockings，andacandlethistime。
　　"Sleep—walkingscene，’Macbeth，’"saidArvasita。"Leola’sgreatnightatthechurchfairandbazar，ElPaso，inShakespeare’sacknowledgedmasterpiece。Leola’srepetwarlikewiseincludes’CatherinetheQueenbeforeherJudges，’’QualityofMercyisnotStrained，’’DeathofLittleNell，’’DeathofPaulDombey，’’DeathoftheOldYear，’’BurialofSirJohnMoore，’andotherstandardgemssuitableforladies。"
　　"Leola，"saidhermother，"recite’WhentheBritishWarriorQueen’tothegentleman。"
　　"No，momma，pleasenot，"saidLeola，andhervoicemademelookather；
　　somethingofappealsoundedinit。
　　"Leolaisthatyoungyoumustexcuseher，"saidhermother——andIthoughtthegirlwinced。
　　"Comeaway，Guy，"suddenlysnappedlittleMrs。Jeffries。"Wearewastingthegentleman’stime。Youarenoinfantprodigy，andwehavenopicturesofyourcalvestoshowhiminthepapers。"
　　"Why，mother！"criedtheboy，andhegaveabrotherlylooktoLeola。
　　Butthegirl，scarletandupset，nowraninsidethehouse。
　　"Asforwastingtime，madam，"saidI，withindignation，"youarewastingyoursinattemptingtoprejudicethejudges。"
　　"There！"saidGuy。
　　"And，Mrs。Mattern，"continued，"ifImaysaysowithoutoffense，theage（realorimaginary）ofthespeakersmaymakeadifferenceinAlbuquerque，butwithourcommitteenottheslightest。"
　　"Thankyou，I’msure，"saidMrs。Mattern，bridling。
　　"EasternideasareeverwelcomeinSharon，"saidMrs。Jeffries。
　　"Good—morning。"AndsheremovedGuyandherselfintoherhouse，whileMrs。
　　MatternandArvasita，stifflyignoringme，passedintotheirowndoor。
　　"Comehaveadrink，"saidStuarttome。"Iamgladyousaidit。OldMotherMatternwillletdownthoseprodigyskirts。Thepoorgirlhasbeenashamedofthemthesetwoyears，butmommahasbulldozedherintostayingyoungforstageeffect。Thegirl’snotconceited，forawonder，andshespeakswell。Itisevenbettingwhichofthetwowidowsyouhavemadethemaddest。"
　　Closebythesaloonwewereimpededbyarushofsmallboys。Theyranbeforeandbehindussuddenlyfrombarrelsandunforeseenplaces，andwedgingandbumpingbetweenus，theyshouted："Chicken—legs！Ah，lookatthechicken—legs！"
　　ForasensitivemomentIfearedtheywerespeakingofme；butthefoldingslat—doorsofthesaloonburstopenoutward，andagiantbarkeepercameamongtheboysandcaughtandshookthemtosilence。
　　"Youwanttobehave，"washissingleremark；andtheydispersedlikeaSunday—school。
　　Ididnotseewhytheyshouldthusdescribehim。Hestoodandnoddedtous，andjerkedbigthumbtowardsthedepartingflock。"Funnyhowaboywillneverthink，"saidhe，withamiability。"Butthey’llgrowuptobeaboutasgoodastherestofus，Iguess。Don’tyouletthemmonkeywithyou，Josey！"hecalled。
　　"Naw，Iwon’t，"saidavoice。Iturnedandsaw，byabarrel，ayouthinknee—breechesgloweringdownthestreetathisroutedenemies。Hewaspossiblyeight，andonehandwasboundinagrimyrag。ThiswasChicken—
　　legs。
　　"Didtheyharmyou，Josey？"askedthegiant。
　　"Naw，theydidn’t。"
　　"Nottroubledyourhandany？"
　　"Naw，theydidn’t。"
　　"Well，don’tyouletthemtouchyou。We’llseeyouthrough。"Andaswefollowedhimintowardsourdrinkthroughhisfoldingslat—doorshecontinueddiscoursingtome，thenewcomer。"Iamagainstinterferingwithkids。Iliketoleave’emfightandfooljustasmuchastheyseefit。
　　Nowthemboysain’tmalicious，butthey’reyoung，yousee，they’reyoung，andmisfortunedon’tappealtothem。Joseylosthisfatherlastspring，andhismotherdiedlastmonth。Lastweekheplayedwithafreightcarandlefttwoofhisfingerswithit。Nowyoumightthinkthatwasenoughhardship。"
　　"Indeedyes，"Ianswered。
　　"Butthelittlestakeheinheritedwasgambledawaybyhisstinkingoldaunt。"
　　"Well！"Icried。
　　"Sowe’reseeinghimthrough。"
　　"Youbet，"saidacitizeninbootsandpistol，whowasplayingbilliards。
　　"ThistownisnotgoingtopermitanymantofoolwithJosey，"statedhisopponentinthegame。
　　"Orwomeneither，"addedaloungerbythebar，shaggy—beardedandalsowithapistol。
　　"Mr。AbeHanson，"saidthebarkeeper，presentingmetohim。"Josey’sfather’spartner。He’stooktheboyfromtheauntandisgoingtoseehimthrough。"
　　"How’r’ye？"saidMr。Hanson，hoarsely，andwithoutenthusiasm。
　　"Amemberoftheprize—awardingcommittee，"explainedStuart，andwavedahandatme。
　　Theyallbrightenedupandcameroundme。
　　"Heardmyboyspeak？"inquiredone。"ReubGadsden’shisname。"
　　ItoldhimIhadheardnospeakerthusfar；andImentionedLeolaandGuy。
　　"Hopetheboy’llgiveus’TheJumpingFrog’again，"saidone。"Inearbust。"
　　"What’stheheiferspeakin’thistrip？"anotherinquired。
　　"Huh！Her！"saidathird。
　　"You’lltalkdifferent，maybe，thistime，"retortedtheother。
　　"Notagin’TheJumpingFrog，’hewon’t，"thefirstinsisted。"Inearbust，"herepeated。
　　"I’dlikeforyoutoknowmyboyReub，"saidMr。Gadsdentome，insinuatingly。
　　"Quitfixing’thejudge，Al，"saidLeola’sbacker。"Reubforgetshiswords，an’says’emover，an’balks，an’miresdown，an’backsout，anstartsfresh，en’it’sconfusin’tofollerhim。"
　　"I’mgladtoseeyoutakesomuchinterest，gentlemen，"saidI。
　　"Yes，we’reapttoseeitthrough，"saidthebarkeeper。AndStuartandI
　　badethemagood—morning。
　　Aswenearedtheschool—master’shouse，whereStuartwasnexttakingme，wecameagainupontheboyswithJosey，andnobarkeeperathandto"seehimthrough。"ButJoseymadeitneedless。Attheword"Chicken—legs"heflewinalimbermanneruponthenearest，andknockinghimimmediatelyflat，turnedwithspirituponasecondandkickedhim。Atthistheysetupascreechingandfellalltogether，andtheschool—mastercameoutofhisdoor。
　　"Boys，boys！"saidhe。"AndtheSabbathtoo！"
　　Asthisdidnotimmediatelyaffectthem，Mr。Eastmanmadeacharge，andtheyfledfromhimthen。AlongstockingofJosey’swastorn，andhungintwostreamersroundhisankles；andhisdanglingshoe—lacesweretroddentofringe。
　　"Ifyouwantyourhandtogetwellforstrawberrynight——"beganMr。
　　Eastman。
　　"Ah，botherstrawberrynight！"saidJosey，andhoppedatoneofhisplaymates。ButMr。Eastmancaughthimskilfullybythecollar。
　　"Iamgladhismisfortuneshavenotcrushedhimaltogether，"saidI。
　　"JoseyYeattsisananxiouscase，sir，"returnedtheteacher。"Severalinfluencesthreatenhiswelfare。YesterdayIfoundtobaccoonhim。
　　Chewing，sir。"
　　"Justyouhurtme，"saidJosey，"andI’lltellAbe。"
　　"Abe！"exclaimedMr。Eastman，liftinghisbrow。"Hemeansamanoldenoughtobehisfather，sir。Iendeavortoinstillhimwithsomefewnotionsofrespect，butthetownspoilshim。Indulgeshimcompletely，I
　　maysay。AndwhenSharon’ssympathiesarestirredsir，itwillespouseacauseverywarmly——Givemethat！"brokeofftheschoolmaster，andtherefollowedabriefwrestle。"Chewingagainto—day，sir，"headdedtome。
　　"Abelemmehaveit，"shriekedJosey。"Lemmego，orhe’llcomeoverandfixyou。"
　　Butthecalm，chillyEastmanhadgroundthetobaccounderhisheel。"Youcanunderstandhowmyhandsaretied，"hesaidtome。
　　"Readily，"Ianswered。
　　"ThemengiveJoseyhiswayineverything。Hehasa——Imaysayanunworthyaunt。"
　　"Yes，"saidI。"SoIhavegathered。"
　　AtthispointJoseyduckedandslidfree，andtheunitedflockvanishedwithjeersatus。Joseyforgottheyhadinsultedhim，theyforgothehadbeatenthem；againstacommonenemywastheirfriendshipcemented。
　　"YouspokeofSharon’swarmwayofespousingcauses，"saidItoEastman。
　　"Idid，sir。Noonecouldliveherelongwithoutnoticingit。"
　　"Sharonisaquiettown，butsudden，"remarkedStuart。"Apttobesudden。
　　They’rebeginningaboutstrawberrynight，"hesaidtoEastman。"Wantedtoknowaboutthingsdowninthesaloon。"
　　"Howdoestheirtasteinelocutionchieflylie？"Iinquired。
　　Eastmansmiled。Hewasyoung，totallybald，themoraldomeofhisskullrisingwhiteabovevisionaryeyesandaseriousauburnbeard。Hewasclothedinableak，smoothslate—graysuit，andatanyclimaxofemphasisheliftedslightlyuponhistoesandrelaxedagain，shuttinghislipstightonthefinishedsentence。"Yourquestion，"saidhe，"hasoftenperplexedme。Sometimestheyseemtopreferverse；sometimesprosestirsthemgreatly。Weshallhavealiberalcropofboththisyear。IamproudtotellyouIhaveaugmentedournumberofstrawberryspeakersbynearlyfiftypercent。"
　　"Howmanywilltherebe？"saidI。
　　"Eleven。Youmightwishsomecouldbeexcused。ButIletthemspeaktostimulatetheirinterestinculture。Willyounottakedinnerwithme，gentlemen？IwasjustsittingdownwhenlittleJoseyYeattsbroughtmeout。"
　　Weweregladtodothis，andheopenedanothercanofcornedbeefforus。
　　"Icannotofferyouwine，sir，"saidhetome，"thoughIamawareitisageneralhabitinluxurioushomes。"Andhetightenedhislips。
　　"Generalhabitwherevertheydon’tpreferwhiskey，"saidStuart。
　　"Ifearso，"theschool—masterreplied，smiling。"Thatpoisonshallneverentermyhouse，gentlemen，anymorethantobacco。AndasIcannotreformtheadultsofSharon，IamdoingwhatIcanfortheirchildren。LittleHughStraightisgoingtosayhis’Lochinvar’verypleasingly，Mr。
　　Stuart。Iwentoveritwithhimlastnight。Ilikethemtobewordper—
　　fect，"hecontinuedtome，"asfailuresonexhibitionnightelicitunfavorablecomment。"
　　"Andarewetoexpectfailuresalso？"Iinquired。
　　"ReubenGadsdenislikelytomortifyus。Heisanearnestboy，butnervous；andoneortwoothers。ButIhavelimitedtheirlength。ReubenGadsden’sfatherdeclinedtohavehisboycutshort，andhewillgiveusaspeechofBurke’s；butIhopeforthebest。Itnarrowsdown，itnarrowsdown。GuyJeffriesandLeolaMatternarethetwo。"
　　"Theparentsseemtotakekeeninterest，"saidI。
　　Mr。EastmansmiledatStuart。"Wehavenoreasontosupposetheyhavechangedsincelastyear，"saidhe。"Why，sir，"hesuddenlyexclaimed，"ifIdidnotfeelIwasdoingsomethingfortheyounggenerationhere，I
　　shouldleaveSharonto—morrow！Oneisnotappreciated，notappreciated。"
　　Hespokeferventlyofvariouslocalenterprises，hisfailures，hishopes，hisachievements；andIlefthishousehonoringhim，butamazed——hisheartwassowideandhisheadsonarrow；amanwhowouldpurifywithsimultaneousausteritythemoralsofLochinvarandofSharon。
　　"Aboutonceamonth，"saidStuart，"Irunagainstanewsideheisblindon。Takehispuzzlementastowhethertheyperferverseorprose。Queeranddumbofhimthat，yousee。Sharondoesnotknowthedifferencebetweenverseandprose。"
　　"That’sgoingtoofar，"saidI。
　　"Theydon’t，"herepeated，"whenitcomestostrawberrynight。Ifthepieceisaboutsomethingtheyunderstand，rhymesdonothelporhinder。
　　Andofcoursesexisapttosettlethequestion。"
　　"ThenIshouldhavethoughtLeola——"Ibegan。
　　"Notthesexofthespeaker。It’sthelisteners。Nowyoutakewomen。
　　Womengenerallyprefersomethingthatwillgivethemagoodcry。Wemenwanttolaughmostly。"
　　"Yes，"saidI；"Iwouldratherlaughmyself，Ithink。"
　　"You’dknowyou’dratherifyouhadtoliveinSharon。Thelaughisoneofthebigdifferencesbetweenwomenandmen，andIwouldgiveyoumyviewsaboutit，onlymySunday—offtimeisup，andI’vegottogototelegraphing。"
　　"Ourwaysaretogether，"saidI。"I’mgoingbacktotherailroadhotel。"
　　"There’sGuy，"continuedStuart。"Hetooktheprizeon’TheJumpingFrog。’SpokebetterthanLeola，anyhow。Shespoke’TheWreckoftheHesperus。’ButGuyhadthebackbenches——that’swherethemensit——
　　prettywelluseless。Guessiftherehadbeenafire，someofthefellowswouldhavebeenscorchedbeforethey’dhavegotstrengthsufficienttorunout。Buttheladiesdidnotlaughmuch。Saidtheysawnothingmuchinjumpingafrog。AndifLeolahadmade’emcrygoodandhardthatnight，thecommittee’sdecisionwouldhavekickedupmoreofafussthanitdid。
　　Asitwas，Mrs。Matterngotmealone；butIworkedusaroundtowhereMrs。Jeffrieswashavingherice—cream，andIleftthemtoargueitout。"
　　"Letusadheretothatpolicy，"IsaidtoStuart；andherepliednothing，butintothecornerofhiseyewanderedthatlurkingsmilewhichrevealedthatlifebroughthimcompensations。
　　Hewenttotelegraphing，andItoreveryconcerningstrawberrynight。I
　　foundmyselfwishingnowthattherecouldhavebeentwoprizes；IdesiredbothLeolaandGuytobehappy；andpresentlyIfoundthematterwouldbeveryclose，sofaratleastasmyjudgmentwent。Forboyandgirlbothbroughtmetheirselections，beggingIwouldcoachthem，andthisIhadplentyofleisuretodo。IpreferredGuy’schoice——thestoryofthatblue—jaywhodroppednutsthroughtheholeinaroof，expectingtofillit，andhisfriendscametolookonanddiscoveredtheholewentintotheentirehouse。Itisbettereventhan"TheJumpingFrog"——betterthananything，Ithink——andyoungGuytolditwell。ButLeolabroughtapotentrivalonthetearfulsideofthings。"TheDeathofPaulDombey"isplatedpathos，notwhollysterling；butSharoncouldnotknowthis；andwhileLeolamostprettilyrecitedittomeIwouldlosemyrecentopinioninfavorofGuy，andacknowledgethevalueofherperformance。Guymighthavethemenstrongforhim，butthistimethewomenweregoingtocry。I
　　gotalsoacertainothersortofentertainmentoutofthecompetingmothers。Mrs。JeffriesandMrs。MatternhadawayofbeinginthehotelofficeathourswhenIpassedthroughtomeals。Theynevercametogether，andalwaysweretakenbysurpriseatmeetingme。
　　"Leolaiseversogratefultoyou，"Mrs。Matternwouldsay。
　　"Oh，"Iwouldanswer，"donotspeakofit。HaveyoueverheardGuy’s’Blue—Jay’story？"
　　"Well，ifit’sanythinglikethatfrogbusiness，Idon’twantto。"Andtheladywouldleaveme。
　　"Guytellsmeyouarehelpinghimsokindly，"saidMrs。Jeffries。
　　"Ohyes，I’msevere，"’Ianswered，brightly。"Iletnothingpass。IonlywishIwasascarefulwithLeola。Butassoonasshebegins’Paulhadneverrisenfromhislittlebed，’Ijustlosemyselflisteningtoher。"
　　Onthewhole，therewerealsocompensationsformeinthesemothers，andIthoughtitaswelltosecuretheminadvance。
　　WhenthetrainarrivedfromElPaso，andIsawourstrawberriesandourice—creamtakenout，Ifeltthehourtobeathand，andthatwhateverourdecision，nobiascouldbelaidtome。Accordingtohisprudenthabit，Eastmanhadthespeakersfolloweachotheralphabetically。ThishappenedtoplaceLeolaafterGuy，andperhapsmightgiveherthelastword，asitwere，withthepeople；butourcommitteewasthere，andsuperiortosuchaccidents。Theflagsandthebuntinghunggayaroundthedrapedstage。
　　Whiletheaudiencerustledorresoundinglytrodtoitschairs，andseatedneighborsconferredsolemnlytogetherovertheprogramme，Stuart，behindthebunting，played"SilverThreadsamongtheGold"uponamelodeon。
　　"Prettygoodthis，"hesaidtome，pumpinghisfeet。
　　"What？"Isaid。
　　"Tune。Sharonisforfreesilver。"
　　"Doyouthinktheywillcatchyourallusion？"Iaskedhim。
　　"No。ButIhaveawayofenjoyingathingbymyself。"Andhepumpedaway，playingwithtastefulvariationsuntilthehallwasfullandthesinging—classassembledinglovesandribbons。
　　Theyopenedtheceremoniesforusbyrendering"SweetandLow"veryhappily；andItrusteditwasanomen。
　　Sharonwashearty，andwehad"SweetandLow"twice。Thenthespeakingbegan，andthespeakerswerewelcomed，comingandgoing，withmildandfriendlydemonstrations。NothingthatonewouldespeciallymarkwentwronguntilReubenGadsden。Hestrodetothemiddleoftheboards，andtheycreakedbeneathhistread。Hestoodamomentinlargeglitteringbootsandwithhairflatandprominentlywatered。Ashestraightenedfromhisbowhissuspender—buttonscameintoview，andremainedsoforsomesingularinternalreason，whilehesenthisrighthanddownintothenearestpocketandbeganhisoratory。
　　"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance，"hesaid，impressively，andstopped。
　　Wewaited，andpresentlyheresumed：
　　"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance。"Hetooktherighthandoutandputthelefthandin。
　　"Itissixteenorseventeenyears，"saidhe，andstaredfrowningathisboots。
　　Ifoundthesilencewasgettingonmynerves。Ifeltasifitweremyselfwhowasdriftingtoidiocy，andtremulousemptysensationsbegantooccurinmystomach。HadIbeenabletorecallthenextsentence，Ishouldhavepromptedhim。
　　"ItissixteenorseventeenyearssinceIsawtheQueenofFrance，"saidtheorator，rapidly。
　　Anddowndeepbackamongthemencameavoice，"Well，Iguessitmustbe，Reub。"
　　Thissnappedthetension。IsawReuben’sbootsmarchaway；Mr。Eastmancamefrombehindthebuntingandspoke（Isuppose）wordsofprotest。I
　　couldnothearthem，butinaminute，orperhapstwo，wegrewcalm，andthespeakingcontinued。
　　TherewasnoquestionwhattheythoughtofGuyandLeola。Heconqueredthebackoftheroom。Theycalledhisname，theyblessedhimwithendearingaudibleoaths，andeventheladiessmiledathispleasant，honestface——theladies，exceptMrs。Mattern。ShesatnearMrs。Jeffries，andthroughoutGuy’s"Blue—Jay"fannedherself，exhibitingawell—sustainedinattention。ShemighthaveforeseenthatMrs。Jeffrieswouldhaveherturn。Whenthe"DeathofPaulDombey"came，andhandkerchiefsbegantotwinkleoutamongtheaudience，andvariousnoisesofgriefwererisingaroundus，andthementhemselvesmurmuredinsym—
　　pathy，Mrs。Jeffriesnotonlypreservedasuppressed—hilaritycountenance，butmanagedtocoughtwicewithacoughthatvisiblybitintoMrs。Mattern’ssoul。
　　ButLeola’sappealingcadencesmovedmealso。WhenPaulwasdead，shemadeherprettylittlebow，andwesatspellbound，thengaveherapplausesurpassingGuy’s。UnexpectedlyIfoundembarrassmentofchoicedazingme，andIsatwithoutattendingtothelaterspeakers。Wasnotsuccessfulhumormoredifficultthanpathos？Werenottearsmorecheaplyraisedthanlaughter？Yet，ontheotherhand，Guyhadoneprize，andwheremeritwassoeven——Isat，Isay，forgetfuloftherestofthespeakers，whensuddenlyIwasawareofloudershoutsofwelcome，andIawakedtoJoseyYeattsbowingatus。
　　"Spititout，Josey！"alargeencouragingvoicewascryinginthebackofthehall。"We’llseeyouthrough。"
　　"Don’tbescared，Josey！"yelledanother。
　　ThenJoseyopenedhismouthandrhythmicallyrattledthefollowing：
　　"IlovelittlepussyhercoatissowarmAndifIdon’thurthershe’lldomenoharmI’llsitbythefi—yerandgivehersomefoodAndpussywilllovemebecauseIamgood。"
　　Thatwasall。Ithadcomewithoutfalterorpause，evenforbreath。Joseystood，andtheroomrosetohim。
　　"Again！again！"theyroared。"Heain’tabitscared！""Goit，Josey！"
　　"Youdon’tforgityerpiece！"Andagreatdealmore，whiletheypoundedwiththeirboots。
　　"Ilovelittlepussy，"beganJosey。
　　"Poordarling！"saidaladynextme。"Nomother。"
　　"I’llsitbythefi—yer，"
　　Joseywascontinuing。Butnobodyheardhimfinish。TheroomwasaBabel。
　　"Lookathislittlehand！""Onlythreefingersinsidethemrags！""Nobodytomendhisclothesanymore。"Theyalltalkedtoeachother，andclappedandcheered，whileJoseystood，onelegslightlyadvancedandproudlystiff，somewhatafterthemannerofthosemilitaryengravingswheresomegeneralisseenerectuponaneminenceatthemomentofvictory。
　　Mr。Eastmanagainappearedfromthebunting，andwastellingus，Ihavenodoubt，somethingofimportance；butthegiantbarkeepernowshoutedabovethedin，"WhosaysJoseyYeattsain’tthespeakerforthisnight？"
　　AtthatstrikingofthecommonchordIsawthemheave，promiscuousandunanimous，upthestepstothestage。JoseywassetuponAbeHanson’sshoulder，whileladiesweptaroundhim。WhattheliterarycommitteemighthavedoneIdonotknow，forwehadnotthetimeeventoresign。GuyandLeolanowappeared，bearingtheprizebetweenthem——apictureofWashingtonhandingtheBibleoutofcloudstoAbrahamLincoln——andveryimmediatelyIfoundmyselfpartofaprocession。Menandwomenwewere，marchingaboutSharon。Thebarkeeperled；fourofSharon’sfathersfol—
　　lowedhim，escortingJoseybornealoftonAbeHanson’sshoulder，andrigidandmilitaryinhisbearing。LeolaandGuyfollowedwiththepicture；Stuartwalkedwithme，whistlingmelodiesofthewar——Dixieandothers。Eastmanwasnotwithus。Whentheladiesfoundthemselvesconductedtothesaloon，theydiscreetlywithdrewbacktotheentertainmentwehadbrokenoutfrom。Joseysawthemgo，andshrillyspokehisfirstword：
　　"Ain’tIgoingtohaveanyice—cream？"
　　Thispresentlycausedustoreturntotheladies，andwefinishedtheeveningwithentireunityofsentiment。Eastmanalonetooktheincidenttoheart；inquiredhowhewastoaccomplishanythingwithhandstied，andmurmuredhisconstantburdenoncemore："Oneisnotappreciated，notappreciated。"
　　IdonotstopoverinSharonanymore。Myranchfriend，whosepresencetherebroughtmetovisithim，isgoneaway。Butsuchwasmyvirginexperienceoftheplace；andinlaterdaysfateledmetobeconcernedwithtwomorelocalcompetitions——onemilitaryandonecivil——whichgreatlystirredthepopulation。SothatIneverpassSharononmylongtravelswithoutaffectionatelysurveyingthesandy，quivering，bleachedtown，unshadedbyitstwinklingforestofwind—wheels。Surelytheheartalwaysremembersaspotwhereithasbeenmerry！AndonethingIshouldliketoknow——shallknow，perhaps：whatsortofcitizeninourrepublicJoseywillgrowtobe。Forwhomwillhevote？MayhenothimselfcometositinWashingtonandmakelawsforus？Universalsuffrageholdssomanypossibilities。
　　NapoleonShave—TailAugustusAlbumblatt，youngandnewandsleekwiththelatestbook—
　　knowledgeofwar，reportedtohisfirsttroopcommanderatFortBrown。
　　Theladieshadwatchedforhim，becausehewouldincreasethenumberofmen，theofficersbecausehewouldlessenthenumberofduties；andhejoinedatacrisisfavorabletobecomingspeedilyknownbythemall。Uponthatsamedayhadhouseholdservantsbecomeanextinctrace。Thelastone，thecommandingofficer’scook，hadtoldthecommandingofficer’swifethatshewasusedtolivingwhereshecouldseethecars。Sheaddedthattherewasnosocietyhere"fitformanorbasteatall。"ThisopinionwasformedontheprecedingafternoonwhenCasey，asergeantofroguishattractionsinGtroop，hadtoldherthathewasnotamarryingman。Threehourslatersheweddedagambler，andthismorningatsixtheyhadtakenthestageforGreenRiver，twohundredmilessouth，thenearestpointwherethebridecouldseethecars。
　　"Frank，"saidthecommandingofficer’swife，"sendovertoHtroopforYork。"
　　"Catherine，"heanswered，"mydear，ourstatesmenatWashingtonsayit’swickedtohirethefreeAmericansoldiertocookforyou。It’stoomenialforhismanhood。"
　　"Frank，stuff！"
　　"Hush，mylove。ThereforeYorkmustbesparedtheinsultoftwentymoredollarsamonth，ourstatesmenmustbere—elected，andyouandI，Catherine，beingcookless，mustjointhegeneralmess。"
　　Thusdidallseparatehousekeepingend，andthegarrisonbeganunitedlytoeatthreetimesadaywhataChinamansetbeforethem，whenthelong—expectedAlbumblattsteppedintotheirmidst，justintimeforsupper。
　　Thisyouthwasspic—and—spanfromtheMilitaryAcademy，withatop—dressingofthreemonths’thoughtfultravelinGermany。"Iwasdeeplyimpressedwiththemodernityoftheirscientificattitude，"hepleasantlyremarkedtothecommandingofficer。ForCaptainDuane，silentusually，talkedatthisfirstmealtomaketheboywelcomeinthisforlorntwo—companypost。
　　"We’recutofffromallthatsortofthinghere，"saidhe。"I’venotbeeneastoftheMissourisince’69。Butwe’vegottherailroadacross，andwe’vekilledsomeIndians，andwe’vehadsomefun，andwe’regladwe’realive——eh，Mrs。Starr？"
　　"Ishouldthinkso，"saidthelady。
　　"Especiallynowwe’vegotabacheloratthepost！"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
　　"Thathasbeentheonedrawback，Mr。Albumblatt。"
　　"Ithankyouforthecompliment，"saidAugustus，bendingsolemnlyfromhiships；andMrs。StarrlookedathimandthenatMrs。Bainbridge。
　　"We’renotover—gay，Ifear，"theCaptaincontinued；"buttheflat’sfullofantelope，andthere’sgoodshootingupbothcanyons。"
　　"HaveyoufollowedtherecenttargetexperimentsatMetz？"inquiredthetraveller。"Irefertotheflattenedtrajectoryandtheobuscontroversy。"
　　"Wehavenotheardthereports，"answeredthecommandant，withbecominggravity。"Butweownamountainhowitzer。"
　　"ThemodernityofGermanordnance——"beganAugustus。
　　"Doyoudance，Mr。Albumblatt？"askedMrs。Starr。
　　"Forwe’llhaveahopandallbeyourpartners，"Mrs。Bainbridgeexclaimed。
　　"Iwillbepleasedtoaccommodateyou，ladies。"
　　"It’sanythingforvariety’ssakewithus，yousee，"saidMrs。Starr，smoothlysmiling；andonceagainAugustusbentblandlyfromhiships。
　　Butthecommandingofficerwishedleniency。"Youseeusall，"hehastenedtosay。"Commissionedofficersanddancing—men。Prettyshabby——"
　　"Oh，Captain！"saidalady。
　　"Andprettyold。"
　　"Captain！"saidanotherlady。
　　"Butaliveandkicking。CaptainStarr，Mr。Bainbridge，theDoctorandme。Weareseven。"
　　Augustuslookedaccuratelyabouthim。"DoIunderstandseven，Captain？"
　　"Weareseven，"theseniorofficerrepeated。
　　AgainMr。Albumblattcountedheads。"Iimagineyouincludetheladies，Captain？Ha！ha！"
　　"Sevencommissionedmales，sir。OurMajorisonsick—leave，andtwoofourLieutenantsarerelatedtothePresident’swife。Shecan’tbearthemtobeexposed。Noneofusinthechurch—yardlie——butweareseven。"
　　"Ha！ha，Captain！That’sanelegantdoubleentendreonWordsworth’spoemandtheWarDepartment。Only，ifImaycorrectyouraddition——ha！
　　ha！——ourtotal，includingmyself，iseight。"AndAugustusgrewashilariousasawoodennutmeg。
　　Thecommandingofficerrolledanintimateeyeathiswife。
　　Theladywassittingbigwithrage，butherwordswerecordialstill：
　　"Indeed，Mr。Albumblatt，thewayofficerswhohaveinfluenceinWashingtonshirkdutyhereandgetdetailsEastissomethingIcan’tlaughabout。AtonetimetheCaptainwashisownadjutantandquartermaster。Therearemoreofficersatthistableto—nightthanI’veseeninthreeyears。SowearedoublygladtowelcomeyouatFortBrown。"
　　"Iamfortunatetobeondutywheremyservicesaresorequired，thoughI
　　couldobjecttocallingitFortBrown。"AndAugustusexhaledanewsmile。
　　"PreferSmith？"saidCaptainStarr。
　　"Youmisunderstandme。WhenwesayFortBrown。FortRussell，FortEtCetera，weareinexact。Theyarenotfortified。"
　　"CantonmentEtCeterawouldbeatriflelengthy，wouldn’tit？"putintheDoctor，hisenduranceonthewane。
　　"Perhaps；buttechnicallydescriptiveofourWesternposts。TheGermanscriticisethesemilitarylaxities。"
　　CaptainDuanenowceasedtalking，buturbanelylistened；andfromtimetotimehiseyewouldscanAugustus，andthenacertainsublimatedlaugh，tohiswifewellknown；wouldseizehimforasinglevoicelessspasm，andpass。TheexperiencedAlbumblattmeanwhilecontinued，"By—the—way，Doctor，youknowtheCharite，ofcourse？"
　　DoctorGuildhadvisitedthatgreathospital，butbeingnowagoadedmanhestuckhisnoseinhisplate，andsaid，unwisely："Sharrity？What’sthat？"ForthenAugustustoldhimwhatandwhereitwas，andthatKrankenhausisGermanforhospital，andthathehadbeendeeplyimpressedwiththemodernityoftheventilation。"Thirty—fivecubicmetrestoabedinnewwards，"hestated。"Howmanydoyouallow，Doctor？"
　　"None，"answeredthesurgeon。
　　"DoIunderstandnone，Doctor？"
　　"Youdo，sir。Mypatientsbreatheincubicfeet，andswallowtheirdosesingrains，andhavetheirinflationmeasuredininches。"
　　"Nowthereagain！"exclaimedAugustus，cheerily。"Moreantiquitytobesweptaway！Andpeoplesayweyoungofficershavenoworkcutoutforus！"
　　"Patientsdon’tdiethenunderthemetricsystem？"saidtheDoctor。
　　"NowonderEurope’sovercrowded，"saidStarr。
　　Butthestudent’smindinhabitedheightsabovesuchtrifling。"Death，"hesaid，"occursinratiosnotdifferentiatedfromourstatistics。"Andhetoldthemmuchmorewhiletheybookedathimovertheirplates。Hemanagedtosay’modernity’and’differentiate’again，forhecamefromourmiddleWest，wheretheyencountereducationtoosuddenly，anditwouldtakethreegenerationsofhimtospeakcleanEnglish。Butwithallhispolysyllabicwallowing，heshowedhimselfkeen—minded，patwithauthorities，aspruceyounggraduateamongthesedingyRockyMountaincampaigners。Theyhadfoughtandthirstedandfrozen；thebooksthatheknewwerenotwrittenwhentheywenttoschool；andsofaraswaristobemasteredonpaper，hisequipmentwasfullandpolishedwhiletheirswasmeagreandrusty。
　　Andyet，ifyouknowthingsthatotherandoldermendonot，itisaswellnottomentionthemtoohastily。Thesesoldierswishedthattheycouldhavebeentaughtwhatheknew；buttheywatchedyoungAugustusunfoldinghimselfwithagazethatmighthaveseemedchilltoalesshighlyabstractthinker。He，however，rosefromthetablepleasantlyedifiedbyhimself，andhopefulforthem。Andasheleftthem，"Good—night，ladiesandgentlemen，"hesaid；"weshallmeetagain。"
　　"Ohyes，"saidtheDoctor。"Againandagain。"
　　"He’sgivenmeindigestion，"saidBainbridge。
　　"Takesomemetricsystem，"saidStarr。
　　"Andlieflatonyourtrajectory，"saidtheDoctor。
　　"Ihatehairpartedinthemiddleforaman，"saidMrs。Guild。
　　"Andhissuperioreye—glasses，"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
　　"Hisstaringconceitedteeth，"hissedMrs。Starr。
　　"Idon’tlikechildrensloppingtheirknowledgealloverme，"saidtheDoctor’swife。
　　"He’swellbrushed，though，"saidMrs。Duane，seekingthebrightside。
　　"He’llwipehisfeetonthematwhenhecomestocall。"
　　"I’dratherhavemudonmycarpetthanthatbandboxinanyofmychairs，"
　　saidMrs。Starr。
　　"He’snofool，"musedtheDoctor。"But，kingdomcome，whatanass！"
　　"Well，gentlemen，"saidthecommandingofficer（andtheyperceivedaflavoroftheofficialinhistone），"Mr。Albumblattisjusttwenty—one。
　　Idon’tknowaboutyou；butI’llneverhavethatexcuseagain。"
　　"Verywell，Captain，we’llbegood，"saidMrs。Bainbridge。
　　"Andgr—r—ateful，"saidMrs。Starr，rollinghereyespiously。"Iprophecyhe’llentertainus。"
　　TheCaptain’sdemeanorremainedslightlyofficial；butwalkinghome，hisCatherinebyhissideinthedarkwastwiceawareofthatlaughofhis，twinklingintherecessesofhisopinions。Andlater，goingtobed，alittlejoketookhimsounreadythatitgotoutbeforehecouldsuppressit。"Mylove，"saidhe，"mySecondLieutenantisgrievouslymislaidinthecavalry。Providencedesignedhimfortheartillery。"
　　ItwaswifelybutnotrightinCatherinetorepeatthisstrictconfidenceinstrictestconfidencetoherneighbor，Mrs。Bainbridge，overthefencenextmorningbeforebreakfast。AtbreakfastMrs。Bainbridgespokeofartilleryreinforcingthepost，andherhusbandgiggledgirlishlyandlookedatthepuzzledDuane；andatdinnerMrs。StarraskedAlbumblatt，wouldnotartillerystrengthenthegarrison？
　　"Evenalightbattery，"pronouncedAugustus，promptly，"wouldbeabsurdanduseless。"
　　Whereuponthemessrattledknives，sneezed，andbecamevariouslydisturbed。SotheycalledhimAlbumbattery，andthenBlattery，whichismorecondensed；andCaptainDuane’sofficialtoneavailedhimnothinginthismatter。Buthemadenomorelittlemilitaryjokes；hedislikedgarrisonpersonalities。Civilizedbybirthandripefromweather—beatenyearsofmenandobserving，helookedhisSecondLieutenantover，andrememberedtohaveseenworsethanthis。Hehadnoquarrelwiththemetricsystem（trulythemostsensible），andthinkingtoleavenitwithalittleruleofthumb，hemadeAugustushisactingquartermaster。Buthepresentlyindulgedhiswifewiththesoldier—cookshewantedathome，sotheynolongerhadtoeattheirmealsinAlbumblatt’ssociety；andMrs。
　　StarrsaidthatthisshowedherhusbanddreadedhisquartermasterworsethantheSecretaryofWar。
　　AlasfortheQuartermaster’ssergeant，JohannesSchmoll，thatroutinedandclock—workGerman！HefoundAugustussomuchmoreGermanthanhehadeverbeenhimself，thathewentspeechlessforthreedays。Uponhislists，hisredink，andhisciphering，Augustusswoopedlikeabirdofprey，andallhisfondred—tapedeviceswereshreddedtothewinds。
　　Augustussetgoingnewquadraticonesofhisown，withanindexandcross—references。ItwasthenthatSchmollrecoveredhisspeechandwalkedalone，saying，"MeinGott！"Andoftenthereafter，wanderingamongthepiledstoresandapparel，hewouldflingbotharmsheavenwardandrepeattheexclamation。HehadratedhimselftheuniquehumansoulatFortBrownabletocountandarrangeunderclothing。Augustusrejectedhislaborioustally，andtogethertheyvigiledafterhours，verifyingsocksanddrawers。Next，Augustusfoundmorehorseshoesthanhispaperscalledfor。
　　"Thatmangifmederstomachpainefryday，"wailedSchmolltoSergeantCasey。"Itellhim，’Lieutenant，dosehorseshoesisexpendable。Wedon’tacgountforefryshoeliketheywasmen’sshoes，undoderdingsdotisissued。’’Iprefertocakethemcop！’saysBabyBismarck。Undhesmilemithistwobeaverteeth。"
　　"BabyBismarck！"cried，joyfully，therosy—facedCasey。"Yo—hanny，takeadrink。"
　　"Undso，"continuedtheoutragedSchmoll，"hehafaBoardofSoorveyondree—poundhorseshoes，undIhafderstomachpain。"
　　"Itwasbucklesthenextmonth。Theallowanceexceededtheexpenditure，Augustus’sarithmeticcameoutwrong，andanotherboardsatonbuckles。
　　"Yo—hanny，you’relookin’jadedunderColonelSafetypin。"saidCasey。
　　"Havesomething？"
　　"Safetypinismytreat，"saidSchmoll；"undveryapt。"
　　ButAugustusfoundleisuretopervadethepostwithhismodernity。Hesethimselfmilitaryproblems，andsolvedthem；hewroteanessayon"TheContactSquadron"；hecorrectedBainbridgeforsaying"throwbacktheleftflank"insteadof"refusetheleftflank"；hehadreading—roomideas，canteen’ideas，ideasfortheIndiansandtheAgency，andrecruit—
　　drillideas，whichhepresentedtoSergeantCasey。Caseygavehim，inexchange，thenameofNapoleonShave—Tail，andhadhiswhiskeyagainpaidforbythesympatheticSchmoll。
　　"Butblesshiseducatedheart，"saidCasey，"hedon’tlearnmenothingthat’llsoilmyinnercence！"
　　Thusdidthesunny—humoredSergeanttakeit，butnotthusthemess。HadAugustusseenhimselfastheysawhim，couldhehaveheardMrs。Starr——
　　Buthedidnot；theyouthwasimpervious，andtoremovehiscomplacencywouldrequire（soMrs。Starrsaid）anoperation，probablyfatal。Thecommandingofficerheldalwaysalooffromgibing，yetoftenwhenAugustuspassedhimhisgrayeyewoulddwellupontheLieutenant’sback，andhisvoicelesslaughwouldpossesshim。ThatisthepictureIretainofthesedays——theunendinggoldensun，thewide，gentle—coloredplain，thesplendidmountains，theIndiansamblingthroughtheflat，cleardistance；
　　andhere，closealongtheparade—ground，eye—glassedAugustus，neatlyhastening，withtheCaptainonhisporch，asleepyoumightsuppose。
　　Oneearlymorningtheagent，withtwoIndianchiefs，waitedonthecommandingofficer，andaftertheirdeparturehiswifefoundhimbreakfastinginsolitarymirth。
　　"Withoutme，"shechided，sittingdown。"AndIknowyou’vehadsomegoodnews。"
　　"Thebest，mylove。Providencehasbeentemptedatlast。Thewholesomeironyoflifeisabouttofunction。"
　　"Frank，don’tteaseso！Andwhereareyourushingnowbeforethecakes？"
　　"TosetourAugustusalittlemilitaryproblem，dearest。Plainlivingforto—day，andhighthinkingbejollywell——"
　　"Frank，you’regoingtoswear，andImustknow！"
　　ButFrankhadswornandhurriedouttotherighttotheAdjutant’soffice，whilehisCatherineflewtothelefttothefence。
　　"Ella！"shecried。"Oh，Ella！"
　　Mrs。Bainbridge，instantlyontheothersideofthefence，broughtscantylight。Atelegramhadcome，sheknew，fromtheCrowAgencyinMontana。
　　Herhusbandhadadmittedthisthreenightsago；andCaptainDuane（sheknew）hadgivenhimsomeordersaboutsomething；andcoulditbetheCrows？"Ella，Idon’tknow，"saidCatherine。"FranktalkedallaboutProvidenceinhisincurableway，anditmaybeanything。"Sothetwoladieswonderedtogetheroverthefence，untilMrs。Duane，seeingtheCaptainreturn，rantohimandasked，weretheCrowsonthewar—path？
　　ThenherFranktoldheryes，andthathehaddetailedAlbumblatttovanquishthemandescortthemtoCarlisleSchooltolearnGermanandBeethoven’ssonatas。
　　"Stuff，stuff，stuff！Why，therehedoesgo！"criedtheunsettledCatherine。"It’ssomethingattheAgency！"ButCaptainDuanewasgoneintothehouseforacigar。
　　Albumblatt，withSergeantCaseyandadetailofsixmen，wasintruthhasteningoverthatbroadmilewhichopensbetweenFortBrownandtheAgency。Oneithersideofthemthelevelplainstretched，graywithitssage，buffwithinterveninggrass，hay—cockedwiththesmoky，mellow—stained，meerschaum—likecanvastepeesoftheIndians，quietasapainting；fareastwardlaylong，low，rose—redhills，halfdissolvedinthetremblingmysteryofsunanddistance；andwestward，closeathandandhigh，shonethegreatpale—blueserenemountainsthroughthevasterserenityoftheair。ThesoundinghoofsofthetroopsbroughttheIndiansoutoftheirtepeestosee。WhenAlbumblattreachedtheAgency，therewaitedtheagentandhistwochiefs，whopointedtoonelodgestandingapartsomethreehundredyards，andsaid，"Heisthere。"SothenAugustusbeheldhisproblem，themilitarydutyfallentohimfromProvidenceandCaptainDuane。
　　Itseemselementaryforhimwhohaswrittenof"TheContactSquadron。"ItwastoarrestoneIndian。Thisman，UteJack，haddoneamurderamongtheCrows，andfledsouthforshelter。Thetelegramheraldedhim，butwithboundlessmilesforhidinghehadstoleninunderthecoverofnight。Nowelcomemethim。TheseFortBrownIndianswerenothisfriendsatanytime，andlesssonow，whenhearrivedwilddrunkamongtheirfamilies。
　　Houndedout，hesoughtthisemptylodge，andherehewas，atbay，hishandagainsteveryman’s，countinghisownlifeworthlessexceptfordestroyingothersbeforehemusthimselfdie。
　　"Ishearmed？"Albumblattinquired，andwastoldyes。
　　Augustusconsideredthepeakedconetent。Theopeningwasonthisside，butacanvasdropclosedit。Notmuchofaproblem——onemaninsideasackwitheightoutsidetocatchhim！Butthebooksgavenoruleforthiscombination，andAugustushadmetwithnothingofthesortinGermany。Heconsideredatsomelength。Smokebegantorisethroughthemeetingpolesofthetepee，leisurelyandnatural，andoneofthechiefssaid：
　　"MaybeUteJackcooking。Hehungry。"
　　"Thisisnotalaughingmatter，"saidAugustustotheby—standers，whowereswiftlygathering。"TellhimthatIcommandhimtosurrender，"headdedtotheagent，whoshoutedthisforthwith；andsilencefollowed。
　　"TellhimIsayhemustcomeoutatonce，"saidAugustusthen；andreceivedfurthersilence。
　　"Heeatnow，"observedthechief。"Can’ttalkmuch。"
　　"SergeantCasey，"bellowedAlbumblatt，"gooverthereandtakehimout！"
　　"TheLootenantunderstands，"saidCasey，slowly，"thatUteJackhasgotthedroponus，andthereain’tnogettinganydroponhim。"
　　"Sergeant，youwillexecuteyourorderswithoutfurthercomment。"
　　Atthisamazingstepthesilencefellcoldindeed；butAugustuswasincommand。
　　"ShallItakeanymenalong，sir？"saidCaseyinhissoldier’smachinevoice。
　　"Er——yes。Er——no。Er——doasyouplease。"
　　Thesixtrooperssteppedforwardtogo，fortheylovedCasey；butheorderedthemsharplytofallback。Then，lookingintheireyes，hewhispered，"Good—bye，boys，ifit’stobethatway，"andwalkedtothelodge，liftedtheflap，andfell，shotinstantlydeadthroughtheheart。
　　"Twobulletsintohim，"mutteredatrooper，heavilybreathingasthesoundsrang。"He’sdown，"anotherspoketohimselfwithfixedeyes；andasightheydidnotknowofpassedamongthem。ThetwochiefslookedatAugustusandgruntedshorttalktogether；andone，withasweepingliftofhishandouttowardsthetepeeandthedeadmanbyit，said，"MaybeUteJackonlygotthree——four——cartridges——so！"（hisfingerscountedit）。
　　"Afterhekillthree——four——men，yougethimprettygood。"TheIndiantookthewhiteman’sdeaththus；butthewhitemencouldnotyetbeevensaturnine。
　　"Thiswillrequirereinforcement，"saidAugustustotheaudience。"Theplacemustbeattackedbyafrontandflankmovement。Itmustbeknockeddown。ItellyouImusthaveitknockeddown。Howareyoutoseewhereheis，I’dliketoknow，ifit’snotknockeddown？"Augustus’svoicewasgettinghigh。
　　"Iwantthehowitzer，"hescreechedgenerally。
　　Asoldiersaluted，andAugustuschatteredathim。
　　"Thehowitzer，themountainhowitzer，Itellyou。Don’tyouhearme？Toknockthecursedthinghe’sindown。GotoCaptainDuaneandgivehimmycompliments，and——no，I’llgomyself。Where’smyhorse？Myhorse，Itellyou！It’sgottobeknockeddown。"
　　"Ifyouplease，Lieutenant，"saidthetrooper，"maywehavetheRedCrossambulance？"
　　"RedCross？What’sthatfor？What’sthat？"
　　"SergeantCasey，sir。He’sa—lyin’there。"
　　"Ambulance？Certainly。Thehowitzer——perhapsthey’reonlyfleshwounds。
　　Ihopetheyareonlyfleshwounds。Imusthavemoremen——you’llcomewithme。"
　　FromhisporchDuaneviewedbothAugustusapproachandthemanstopatthehospital，andhavingexpectedabungle，sattohear；butatAlbumblatt’smottledfacehestoodupquicklyandsaid，"What’sthematter？"Andhearing，burstout："Casey！Why，hewasworthfiftyof——Goon，Mr。Albumblatt。Whatnextdidyouachieve，sir？"Andasthetalewastoldhecooled，bitter，butofficial。
　　"Reinforcementsisit，Mr。Albumblatt？"
　　"Thehowitzer，Captain。"
　　"Good。AndGtroop？"
　　"FormydoubleflankmovementI——"
　　"Perhapsyou’dlikeHtroopasreserve？"
　　"Notreserve，Captain。Ishouldestablish——"
　　"Thisisyourduty，Mr。Albumblatt。Performitasyoucan，withwhatforceyouneed。"
　　"Thankyou，sir。Itisnotexactlyabattle，butwitha，so—to—speak，intrenched——"
　　"Takeyourtroopsandgo，sir，andreporttomewhenyouhavearrestedyourman。"
　　ThenDuanewenttothehospital，andoutwiththeambulance，hopingthatthesoldiermightnotbedead。Butthewholesomeironyoflifereckonsbeyondourcalculations；andtheunreproachful，sunnyfaceofhisSergeantevokedinDuane’smemorymanymarchesthroughlongheatandcold，backintherough，goodtimes。
　　"Hittwice，Ithoughttheytoldme，"saidhe；andthestewardsurmisedthatonehadmissed。
　　"Perhaps，"musedDuane。"Andperhapsitwentasintended，too。What’sallthatfuss？"
　　Heturnedsharply，havinglostAugustusamonghissadderthoughts；andhereweretheoperationsgoingbriskly。Powder—smokeinthreedirectionsatonce！Herewerepicketsfarout—lying，andadoublelineofskirmish—
　　ersdeployedinextendedorder，andamountedreserve，andmenstandingtohorse——acommandofnearahundred，apuddingofpompous，incompetent，callowbosh，withAugustusbyhishowitzer，scientificallyraisingandloweringittobearonthelonewhitetepeethatshoneintheplain。Fourraceswereassembledtolookon——themessChinaman，twoblacklaundresses，allthewhitesintheplace（onhorseandfoot，somewiththeirhatsleftbehind），andseveralhundredIndiansinblankets。DuanehadathoughttogoawayandleavethisgallingfarceundertheeyeofStarrfortheofficerswereathandalso。Buthissecondthoughtbadehimremain；andlookingatAugustusandthehowitzer，hislaughwouldhavereturnedtohim；buthisheartwassoreforCasey。
　　Itwasanhourofstrategyandcannonade，ahumiliatinghour，whichFortBrowntellsoftothisday；andthetepeelivedthroughitall。Foritstooduponfifteenslenderpoles，notspeedilytobechoppeddownbyshootingleadfromafar。Whenlowbulletsdrilledthecanvas，thechiefsuggestedtoAugustusthatUteJackhadclimbedup；andwhenthebulletsflewhigh，thenUteJackwasdoubtlessinahole。NordidAugustuscontrivetodropashellfromthehowitzeruponUteJackandexplodehim——ashrewdanddeadlyconception；theshellswentbeyond，exceptone，thatrippedthroughthecanvas，somewhatneartheground；andAugustus，dripping，turnedatlength，andsaying，"Itwon’tgodown，"stoodvacantlywipinghiswhiteface。Thenthetwochiefsgothisleavetostretcharopebetweentheirhorsesandridehardagainstthetepee。Itwasmilitaryneitherinessencenortosee，butitprevailed。Thetepeesank，ahugeumbrellawreckalongtheearth，andtherelayUteJackacrossthefire’sslighthollow，hisknee—capgonewiththehowitzershell。Butnobloodhadflownfromthat；bloodwillnotrun，youknow，whenamanhasbeendeadsometime。Onesingleothershothadstruckhim——onethroughhisownheart。Ithadsingedtheflesh。
　　"Yousee，Mr。Albumblatt，"saidDuane，inthewholecrowd’shearing，"hekilledhimselfdirectlyafterkillingCasey。AveryrareactforanIndian，asyouaredoubtlessaware。Butifyourmanoeuvreswithhiscorpsehavetaughtyouanythingyoudidnotknowbefore，weshallallbegainers。"
　　"Captain，"saidMrs。Starr，onalaterday，"youandUteJackhaveendedourfun。SincetheCourtofInquiryletMr。Albumblattoff，hehasnotsaidGermanyonce——andthat’sthreemonthsto—morrow。"
　　TwentyMinutesforRefreshmentsUponturningoveragainmydiaryofthatexcursiontothePacific，IfindthatIsetoutfromAtlanticwatersonthe30thdayofabackwardandforlornApril，whichhadcomeanddonenothingtowardsmakingitsshareofspring，buthadgone，missingitschance，leavingthetreesasbareasithadreceivedthemfromthewindsofMarch。Itwasnotbleakweatheralone，butcare，thatIsoughttoescapebyachangeofsky；andIhopedforsomefellow—travellerwhomightbegintointerestmythoughtsatonce。NosuchpersonmetmeintheseveralPullmanswhichIinhabitedfromthatafternoonuntiltheforenoonofthefollowingFriday。Throughthatlongdistance，thoughIhadslantedsouthwestwardacrossamultitudeofStatesandvegetations，andtheMississippilayelevenhundredmilestomyrear，thesingleeventismypurchasingsomecat’s—eyesofthenews—agentatSierraBlanca。Savethis，mydiarycontainsonlyneatadditionsofdailyexpenses，andmoralreflectionsofadelicateandrestrainedmelancholy。TheywerePecoscat’s—eyes，hetoldme，obtainedintherockycanyonsofthatstream，anddestinedtobeworthlittleuntilfashionturnedfromforeignjewelstobecomeawareofthesefinenativestones。AndI，gladtopossessthejewelsofmycountry，chosetwobraceletsandanecklaceofthem，payingbuttwentydollarsforfifteenorsixteencat’s—eyes，andresolvedtogivethemasettingworthyoftheirbeauty。ThediarycontinueswithmoralreflectionsupontheservilityofourtastebeforeanythingEuropean，andthehandwritingisclearanddeliberate。Itabruptlybecomeshurried，andatlengthwell—
　　nighillegible。Itisbest，Ithink，thatyoushouldhavethisportionasitcomes，unpolished，unamended，unarranged——hot，sotospeak，frommyimmediatepencil，insteadofcoldfrommysubsequentpen。Ishalldisguisecertainnames，butthatisall。
　　Fridayforenoon，May5。——Idon’thavetogazeatmycat’s—eyestokilltimeanymore。I’mnottheonlypassengeranymore。There’salady。ShegotinatElPaso。Shehastakenthedrawing—room，butsitsoutsidereadingnewspapercuttingsandwritingletters。Sheissixty，Ishouldsay，andhasacapandonegraycurl。Thiscomesdownoverherleftearasfarasapurpleribbonwhichsuspendsamedallionatherthroat。Shecameinwearingasage—greendusterofpongeesilk，prettynice，onlythebuttonsareasbigasthoselargestmint—drops。"Youporter，"shesaid，"brushthis。"Heputdownhermanythingsandreceivedit。Herdresswassagegreen，andprettynicetoo。"Youporter，"saidshe，"openeverywindow。Why，theyare，Ideclare！What’sthethermometerinthiscar？"
　　"Ninety—five，ma’am。Folksmostlytravelling——""Thatwilldo，porter。
　　Nowyougomakemeapitcheroflemonaderightquick。"Shewentintothestate—roomandshutthedoor。Whenshecameoutshewasdressedinwhatappearedtobechintzbedroomcurtains。Theyhangandflowlooselyabouther，andarecoveredwithapatternofpinkpeonies。Shehasslippers——Turkish——thatstareupintheair，prettyhandsomeandcomfortable。ButIneverbeforesawanyonetravelwithfly—paper。Itmustbehardtopack。Butit’squiteanideainthistrain。Fullyadozenflieshavestucktoitalready；andshereadsherclippings，andwritesaway，andsipsanotherglassoflemonade，allwiththemostextremeap—
　　pearanceofleisure，nottosaysloth。Ican’timaginehowshemanagestoproducethisatmosphereofindolencewheninrealitysheissteadilyoccupied。Possiblythewayshesits。ButIthinkit’spartlythebedroomcurtains。
　　Thesenoteswereinterruptedbytheentranceofthenewconductor。"Ifyoufolkshavecharteredaprivatecar，justsayso，"heshoutedinstantlyatthesightofus。Hestoodstillattheextremeendandremovedhishat，whichwasacknowledgedbythelady。"Travelissurelyverylight，Gadsden，"sheassented，andwentonwithherwriting。Butheremainedstandingstill，andshoutinglikeanorator："Sprinklethefloorofthiscar，Julius，andlettheporepassengersgetabreathofcool。Mylands！"Hefannedhimselfsweepinglywithhishat。Heseemedbutlittlelargerthanaredsquirrel，andpreciselythatcolor。Sorrelhair，sorreleyebrows，sorrelfreckles，lightsorrelmustache，thinaggressivenose，recedingchin，andblack，attentive，prominenteyes。Heapproached，andI
　　gavehimmyticket，whichisaslongasaneck—tie，andhasmyheight，thecolorofmyeyesandhair，andmygeneraldescription，punchedinthemargin。"Why，youain’tmiddle—aged！"heshouted，andasingularcroaksoundedbehindme。Buttheladywaswriting。"IhavebeengrowingyoungersinceIboughtthatticket，"Iexplained。"That’sit，that’sit，"hesang；aman’salwaysasoldashefeels，andawoman——iseveryoung，"hefinished。"Iseeyouaretruetotheoldteachingsandtheold—timechivalry，Gadsden，"saidthelady，continuouslybusy。"Yes，ma’am。JacobservedsevenyearsforLeahandsevenmoreforRachel。""SuchmenareraisedtodayineveryworthyLouisianahome，Gadsden，beiteversohumble。""Yes，ma’am。Giveafreshsprinkletothefloor，Julius，soonasitgoestogetdry。Excuseme，butdoyoushaveyourself，sir？"ItoldhimthatIdid，butwithoutexcusinghim。"YouwillseethatIhaveareasonforasking，"heconsequentlypursued，andtookoutofhiscoat—tailsaroundtinboxhandsomelylabelled"Nat。FlyPaperCo。，"sothatIsupposeditwasthus，ofcourse，thattheladycamebyherfly—paper。Butthiswaspurecoincidence，andtheconductorexplained：
　　"Thatcompany’smeandamanatShreveport，buthedissatisfiesmerightfrequently。Youknowwhatheavenagoodrazorisforaman，andwhatyoufeelaboutabadone。Vaselineandgroundshells，"hesaid，openingthebox，"andI’mnotsayinganythingexceptitwilllastyourlifetimeandneverhardens。Rubthesizeofapeaonthefinesideofyourstrop，spreadittoaninchwithyourthumb。MayIbegafavoronsoshortameeting？Joinmeinthegentlemen’slavatorywithyourrazorstropinfiveminutes。Ihavetoattendtoacorpseinthebaggage—car，andwillreturnatonce。""Anybody’scorpseIknow，Gadsden？"saidthelady。"No，ma’am。
　　Justacorpse。"
　　WhenIjoinedhim，forIwasnowwillingtodoanything，hewasapologeticagain。"’Tisashortacquaintance，"hesaid，"butmayIalsobegyourrazor？QuickasIgetoutoftheNationalFlyIamgoingtoregistermynewlabel。FirsttherewillbeUncleSamembracingtheworld，signifyingthismixtureisuniversal，thenmyname，thenthewordStropine，whichisanoveltyandcarriescopyright，andIshallwincomfortanddoubtlessluxury。ThepostbarberatFortBayardtookadozenoffmeatsighttoretailtotheniggersoftheTwenty—fourth，andashedidnothappentohavetherequisitecashonhispersonIchargedhimtworoostersandfiftycents，andbothofusdonewell。He’saftermoreStropine，andIgotPullmanpricesformyroosters，thebuffet—carbeingoutofchickenalaMarengo。Thereisyourrazor，sir，andIappreciateyourcourtesy。"Itwasbeautifullysharpened，andIboughtaboxoftheStropineandaskedhimwhotheladywas。"Mrs。PorcherBrewton！"heexclaimed。"Haveyounevermethersocially？Whyshe——whysheisthemostintellectualladyinBeeBayou。""Indeed！"Isaid。"WhyshevisitsNewOrleans，andCharleston，andalltheprincipalcentresofrefinement，andiswelcomedinWashington。Sheconversesfreelywithourstatesmenandisconsideredaqueenoflearning。Whyshewritespo’try，sir，andisstrong—minded。Butamanwouldn’twanttopickherupforafool，allthesamey。""Ishouldn’t；Idon’t，"saidI。"Don’tyoudoit，sir。She’srunherplantationallalonesincetheColonelwaskilledinsixty—two。ShetaughtmeSunday—schoolwhenIwasalad，andsheusedtocatchmeatherpecan—trees’mosteverytimeinBeeBayou。"
　　Hewentforward，andIwentbackwiththeStropineinmypocket。Theladywassippingthelastofthelemonadeandlookinghaughtilyoverthetopofherglassinto（Isuppose）theworldofherthoughts。Hereyesmetmine，however。"HasGadsden——yes，Iperceivehehasbeentellingaboutme，"shesaid，inherlanguid，formidablevoice。Shesetherglassdownandreclinedamongthefoldsofthebedroomcurtains，consideringme。
　　"Gadsdenhasalwaysbeenlavish，"shemused，caressingly。"Heseemsdestinedtosucceedinlife，"Ihazarded。"ahn——a！"shesighed，withdecision。"Hewillfail。"AsshesaidnomoreandasIbegantoresentthemannerinwhichshesurveyedme，Iremarked，"Youseemrathersureofhisfailure。""Iamoldenoughtobehismother，andyours，"saidMrs。
　　PorcherBrewtonamonghercurtains。"Heisanoble—heartedfellow，andwouldhavebeenahigh—souledSoutherngentlemanifborntothatstation。
　　Butwhatshouldaconductorearning$103。50amonthbedispersinghisattentiononsillypatentsfor？Many’sthetimeI’vetoldhimwhatI
　　think；butGadsdenwillalwaysbeflighty。Nofurtherobservationsoccurringtome，Itookupmynecklaceandbraceletsfromtheseatandputtheminmypocket。"Willyoupermitameddlesomeoldwomantoinquirewhatmadeyoubuythosecat’s—eyes？"saidMrs。Brewton。"Why——"I
　　dubiouslybegan。"Nevermind，"shecried，archly。"IfyouwerethinkingofsomeoneinyourNorthernhome，theywillbeprizedbecausethethought，atanyrate，wasbeautifulandgenuine。’Where’erIroam，whateverrealmstosee，myheart，untravelled，fondlyturnstothee。’Nowdon’tyoubeembarrassedbyanoldwoman！"IdesiredtoinformherthatI
　　dislikedher，butonecanneverdothosethings；and，anxioustolearnwhatwasthematterwiththecat’s—eyes，Ispokeamiablyandpolitelytoher。"Twentydollars！"shemurmured。"AndhetoldyoutheycamefromthePecos！"ShegavethatsinglemelodiouscroakIhadheardoncebefore。