CHAPTERI
　　"Itisnotalargehouse，"Isaid。"Wedon’twantalargehouse。
　　Twosparebedrooms，andthelittlethree—corneredplaceyouseemarkedthereontheplan，nexttothebathroom，andwhichwilljustdoforabachelor，willbeallweshallrequire——atallevents，forthepresent。Lateron，ifIevergetrich，wecanthrowoutawing。
　　ThekitchenIshallhavetobreaktoyourmothergently。Whatevertheoriginalarchitectcouldhavebeenthinkingof——"
　　"Nevermindthekitchen，"saidDick："whataboutthebilliard—room？"
　　Thewaychildrennowadayswillinterruptaparentisnothingshortofanationaldisgrace。IalsowishDickwouldnotsitonthetable，swinginghislegs。Itisnotrespectful。"Why，whenIwasaboy，"
　　asIsaidtohim，"Ishouldassoonhavethoughtofsittingonatable，interruptingmyfather——"
　　"What’sthisthinginthemiddleofthehall，thatlookslikeagrating？"demandedRobina。
　　"Shemeansthestairs，"explainedDick。
　　"Thenwhydon’ttheylooklikestairs？"commentedRobina。
　　"Theydo，"repliedDick，"topeoplewithsense。"
　　"Theydon’t，"persistedRobina，"theylooklikeagrating。"Robina，withtheplanspreadoutacrossherknee，wassittingbalancedonthearmofaneasy—chair。Really，Ihardlyseetheuseofbuyingchairsforthesepeople。Nobodyseemstoknowwhattheyarefor——exceptitbeoneoranotherofthedogs。Perchesarealltheywant。
　　"Ifwethrewthedrawing—roomintothehallandcoulddoawaywiththestairs，"thoughtRobina，"weshouldbeabletogiveadancenowandthen。"
　　"Perhaps，"Isuggested，"youwouldliketoclearoutthehousealtogether，leavingnothingbutthefourbarewalls。Thatwouldgiveusstillmoreroom，thatwould。Forjustlivingin，wecouldfixupashedinthegarden；or——"
　　"I’mtalkingseriously，"saidRobina："what’sthegoodofadrawing—
　　room？Oneonlywantsittoshowthesortofpeopleintothatonewisheshadn’tcome。They’dsitabout，lookingmiserable，justaswellanywhereelse。Ifwecouldonlygetridofthestairs——"
　　"Oh，ofcourse！wecouldgetridofthestairs，"Iagreed。"Itwouldbeabitawkwardatfirst，whenwewantedtogotobed。ButI
　　daresayweshouldgetusedtoit。Wecouldhavealadderandclimbuptoourroomsthroughthewindows。OrwemightadopttheNorwegianmethodandhavethestairsoutside。"
　　"Iwishyouwouldbesensible，"saidRobin。
　　"Iamtryingtobe，"Iexplained；"andIamalsotryingtoputalittlesenseintoyou。Atpresentyouarecrazyaboutdancing。Ifyouhadyourway，youwouldturnthehouseintoadancing—saloonwithprimitivesleeping—accommodationattached。Itwilllastsixmonths，yourdancingcraze。Thenyouwillwantthehousetransformedintoaswimming—bath，oraskating—rink，orclearedoutforhockey。Myideamaybeconventional。Idon’texpectyoutosympathisewithit。MynotionisjustanordinaryChristianhouse，notagymnasium。Therearegoingtobebedroomsinthishouse，andthere’sgoingtobeastaircaseleadingtothem。Itmaystrikeyouassordid，butthereisalsogoingtobeakitchen：thoughwhywhenbuildingthehousetheyshouldhaveputthekitchen—
　　"Don’tforgetthebilliard—room，"saidDick。
　　"Ifyouthoughtmoreofyourfuturecareerandlessaboutbilliards，"
　　Robinpointedouttohim，"perhapsyou’dgetthroughyourLittle—gointhecourseofthenextfewyears。IfPaonlyhadsense——Imeanifhewasn’tsoabsurdlyindulgentwhereveryouareconcerned，hewouldnothaveabilliard—tableinthehouse。"
　　"Youtalklikethat，"retortedDick，"merelybecauseyoucan’tplay。"
　　"Icanbeatyou，anyhow，"retortedRobin。
　　"Once，"admittedDick——"onceinsixweeks。"
　　"Twice，"correctedRobin。
　　"Youdon’tplay，"Dickexplainedtoher；"youjustwhackroundandtrusttoProvidence。"
　　"Idon’twhackround，"saidRobin；"Ialwaysaimatsomething。Whenyoutryanditdoesn’tcomeoff，yousayit’s’hardluck；’andwhenI
　　tryanditdoescomeoff，yousayit’sfluking。Solikeaman。"
　　"Youbothofyou，"Isaid，"attachtoomuchimportancetothescore。
　　Whenyoutryforacannonoffthewhiteandhititonthewrongsideandsenditintoapocket，andyourownballtravelsonandmakesalosinghazardoffthered，insteadofbeingvexedwithyourselves——"
　　"Ifyougetareallygoodtable，governor，"saidDick，"I’llteachyoubilliards。"
　　IdobelieveDickreallythinkshecanplay。Itisthesamewithgolf。Beginnersareinvariablylucky。"IthinkIshalllikeit，"
　　theytellyou；"Iseemtohavethegameinme，ifyouunderstand。"
　　’Thereisafriendofmine，anoldsea—captain。Heisthesortofmanthatwhenthethreeballsarelyinginastraightline，tuckedupunderthecushion，lookspleased；becausethenheknowshecanmakeacannonandleavetheredjustwherehewantsit。AnIrishyoungsternamedMalooney，acollegechumofDick’s，wasstayingwithus；andtheafternoonbeingwet，theCaptainsaidhewouldexplainittoMalooney，howayoungmanmightpractisebilliardswithoutanydangerofcuttingthecloth。Hetaughthimhowtoholdthecue，andhetoldhimhowtomakeabridge。Malooneywasgrateful，andworkedforaboutanhour。Hedidnotshowmuchpromise。Heisapowerfullybuiltyoungman，andhedidn’tseemabletogetitintohisheadthathewasn’tplayingcricket。Wheneverhehitalittlelowtheresultwasgenerallylostball。Tosavetime——anddamagetofurniture——DickandIfieldedforhim。Dickstoodatlong—stop，andIwasshortslip。Itwasdangerouswork，however，andwhenDickhadcaughthimouttwicerunning，weagreedthatwehadwon，andtookhimintotea。
　　Intheevening——noneoftherestofusbeingkeentotryourluckasecondtime——theCaptainsaid，thatjustforthejokeofthethinghewouldgiveMalooneyeighty—fiveandplayhimahundredup。Toconfessthetruth，IfindnoparticularfunmyselfinplayingbilliardswiththeCaptain。Thegameconsists，asfarasIamconcerned，inwalkingroundthetable，throwinghimbacktheballs，andsaying"Good！"BythetimemyturncomesIdon’tseemtocarewhathappens：everythingseemsagainstme。Heisakindoldgentlemanandhemeanswell，butthetoneinwhichhesays"Hardlines！"wheneverImissaneasystrokeirritatesme。IfeelI’dliketothrowtheballsathisheadandflingthetableoutofwindow。I
　　supposeitisthatIaminafretfulstateofmind，butthemerewayinwhichhechalkshiscueaggravatesme。Hecarrieshisownchalkinhiswaistcoatpocket——asifourchalkwasn’tgoodenoughforhim——
　　andwhenhehasfinishedchalking，hesmoothsthetiproundwithhisfingerandthumbandtapsthecueagainstthetable。"Oh！goonwiththegame，"Iwanttosaytohim；"don’tbesofulloftricks。"
　　TheCaptainledoffwithamissinbaulk。Malooneygrippedhiscue，drewinadeepbreath，andletfly。Theresultwasten：acannonandallthreeballsinthesamepocket。Asamatteroffacthemadethecannontwice；butthesecondtime，asweexplainedtohim，ofcoursedidnotcount。
　　"Goodbeginning！"saidtheCaptain。
　　Malooneyseemedpleasedwithhimself，andtookoffhiscoat。
　　Malooney’sballmissedtheredonitsfirstjourneyupthetablebyaboutafoot，butfounditlateronandsentitintoapocket。
　　"Ninety—nineplaysnothing，"saidDick，whowasmarking。"Bettermakeitahundredandfifty，hadn’twe，Captain？"
　　"Well，I’dliketogetinashot，"saidtheCaptain，"beforethegameisover。Perhapswehadbettermakeitahundredandfifty，ifMr。
　　Malooneyhasnoobjection。"
　　"Whateveryouthinkright，sir，"saidRoryMalooney。
　　Malooneyfinishedhisbreakfortwenty—two，leavinghimselfhangingoverthemiddlepocketandtheredtuckedupinbaulk。
　　"Nothingplaysahundredandeight，"saidDick。
　　"WhenIwantthescore，"saidtheCaptain，"I’llaskforit。"
　　"Begpardon，sir，"saidDick。
　　"Ihateanoisygame，"saidtheCaptain。
　　TheCaptain，makinguphismindwithoutmuchwasteoftime，senthisballunderthecushion，sixinchesoutsidebaulk。
　　"WhatwillIdohere？"askedMalooney。
　　"Idon’tknowwhatyouwilldo，"saidtheCaptain；"I’mwaitingtosee。"
　　Owingtothepositionoftheball，Malooneywasunabletoemployhiswholestrength。AllhedidthatturnwastopockettheCaptain’sballandleavehimselfunderthebottomcushion，fourinchesfromthered。TheCaptainsaidanauticalword，andgaveanothermiss。
　　Malooneysquareduptotheballsforthethirdtime。Theyflewbeforehim，panic—stricken。Theybangedagainstoneanother，camebackandhitoneanotheragainfornoreasonwhatever。Thered，inparticular，Malooneyhadsucceededapparentlyinfrighteningoutofitswits。Itisastupidball，generallyspeaking，ourred——itsoneideatogetunderacushionandwatchthegame。WithMalooneyitsoonfounditwassafenowhereonthetable。Itsonlyhopewaspockets。Imayhavebeenmistaken，myeyemayhavebeendeceivedbytherapidityoftheplay，butitseemedtomethattheredneverwaitedtobehit。WhenitsawMalooney’sballcomingforitattherateoffortymilesanhour，itjustmadeforthenearestpocket。Itrushedroundthetablelookingforpockets。Ifinitsexcitement，itpassedanemptypocket，itturnedbackandcrawledin。Thereweretimeswheninitsterroritjumpedthetableandtookshelterunderthesofaorbehindthesideboard。Onebegantofeelsorryforthered。
　　TheCaptainhadscoredalegitimatethirty—eight，andMalooneyhadgivenhimtwenty—four，whenitreallyseemedasiftheCaptain’schancehadcome。Icouldhavescoredmyselfastheballswerethen。
　　"Sixty—twoplaysonehundredandtwenty—eight。Nowthen，Captain，gameinyourhands，"saidDick。
　　Wegatheredround。Thechildrenlefttheirplay。Itwasaprettypicture：thebrightyoungfaces，eagerwithexpectation，theoldwornveteransquintingdownhiscue，asifafraidthatwatchingMalooney’splaymighthavegivenitthesquirms。
　　"Nowfollowthis，"IwhisperedtoMalooney。"Don’tnoticemerelywhathedoes，buttryandunderstandwhyhedoesit。Anyfool——afteralittlepractice，thatis——canhitaball。Butwhydoyouhitit？
　　Whathappensafteryou’vehitit？What——"
　　"Hush，"saidDick。
　　TheCaptaindrewhiscuebackandgentlypusheditforward。
　　"Prettystroke，"IwhisperedtoMalooney；"now，that’sthesort——"
　　Ioffer，bywayofexplanation，thattheCaptainbythistimewasprobablytoofullofbottled—uplanguagetobemasterofhisnerves。
　　Theballtravelledslowlypastthered。Dicksaidafterwardsthatyoucouldn’thaveputsomuchasasheetofpaperbetweenthem。Itcomfortsaman，sometimes，whenyoutellhimthis；andatothertimesitonlymakeshimmadder。Ittravelledonandpassedthewhite——youcouldhaveputquitealotofpaperbetweenitandthewhite——anddroppedwithacontentedthudintothetopleft—handpocket。
　　"Whydoeshedothat？"Malooneywhispered。Malooneyhasasingularlyheartywhisper。
　　DickandIgotthewomenandchildrenoutoftheroomasquicklyaswecould，butofcourseVeronicamanagedtotumbleoversomethingontheway——VeronicawouldfindsomethingtotumbleoverinthedesertofSahara；andafewdayslaterIoverheardexpressions，scorchingtheirwaythroughthenurserydoor，thatmademyhairriseup。I
　　entered，andfoundVeronicastandingonthetable。Jumbowassittinguponthemusic—stool。Thepoordoghimselfwaslookingscared，thoughhemusthaveheardabitoflanguageinhistime，onewayandanother。
　　"Veronica，"Isaid，"areyounotashamedofyourself？Youwickedchild，howdareyou——"
　　"It’sallright，"saidVeronica。"Idon’treallymeananyharm。
　　He’sasailor，andIhavetotalktohimlikethat，elsehedon’tknowhe’sbeingtalkedto。"
　　Ipayhard—working，conscientiousladiestoteachthischildthingsrightandproperforhertoknow。TheytellhercleverthingsthatJuliusCaesarsaid；observationsmadebyMarcusAureliusthat，ponderedover，mighthelphertobecomeabeautifulcharacter。Shecomplainsthatitproducesastrangebuzzyfeelinginherhead；andhermotherarguesthatperhapsherbrainisofthecreativeorder，notintendedtoremembermuch——thinksthatperhapssheisgoingtobesomething。Agoodround—dozenoathstheCaptainmusthaveletflybeforeDickandIsucceededinrollingheroutoftheroom。Shehadonlyheardthemonce，yet，sofarasIcouldjudge，shehadgotthemletterperfect。
　　TheCaptain，nownolongerunderthenecessityofemployingallhisenergiestosuppresshisnaturalinstincts，graduallyrecoveredform，andeventuallythegamestoodatonehundredandforty—nineall，Malooneytoplay。TheCaptainhadlefttheballsinapositionthatwouldhavedisheartenedanyotheropponentthanMalooney。ToanyotheropponentthanMalooneytheCaptainwouldhaveofferedirritatingsympathy。"Afraidtheballsarenotrollingwellforyouto—night，"theCaptainwouldhavesaid；or，"Sorry，sir，Idon’tseemtohaveleftyouverymuch。"To—nighttheCaptainwasn’tfeelingplayful。
　　"Well，ifhescoresoffthat！"saidDick。
　　"Shortoflockinguptheballsandturningoutthelights，Idon’tmyselfseehowoneisgoingtostophim，"sighedtheCaptain。
　　TheCaptain’sballwasinhand。Malooneywentfortheredandhit——
　　perhapsitwouldbemorecorrecttosay，frightened——itintoapocket。Malooney’sball，withthetabletoitself，thengaveasoloperformance，andendedupbybreakingawindow。Itwaswhatthelawyerscallanicepoint。Whatwastheeffectuponthescore？
　　Malooneyarguedthat，seeinghehadpocketedtheredbeforehisownballleftthetable，histhreeshouldbecountedfirst，andthatthereforehehadwon。Dickmaintainedthataballthathadendedupinaflower—bedcouldn’tbedeemedtohavescoredanything。TheCaptaindeclinedtoassist。Hesaidthat，althoughhehadbeenplayingbilliardsforupwardsoffortyyears，theincidentwasnewtohim。Myownfeelingwasthatofthankfulnessthatwehadgotthroughthegamewithoutanybodybeingreallyinjured。WeagreedthatthepersontodecidethepointwouldbetheeditorofTheField。
　　Itremainsstillundecided。TheCaptaincameintomystudythenextmorning。Hesaid："Ifyouhaven’twrittenthatlettertoTheField，don’tmentionmyname。TheyknowmeonTheField。IwouldratheritdidnotgetaboutthatIhavebeenplayingwithamanwhocannotkeephisballwithinthefourwallsofabilliard—room。"
　　"Well，"Ianswered，"IknowmostofthefellowsonTheFieldmyself。
　　Theydon’toftengetholdofanythingnovelinthewayofastory。
　　Whentheydo，theyareapttoharpuponit。Myideawastokeepmyownnameoutofitaltogether。"
　　"Itisnotapointlikelytocropupoften，"saidtheCaptain。"I’dletitrestifIwereyou。"
　　Ishouldliketohavehaditsettled。Intheend，Iwrotetheeditoracarefulletter，inadisguisedhand，givingafalsenameandaddress。ButifanyanswereverappearedImusthavemissedit。
　　MyselfIhaveasortofconsciousnessthatsomewhereinsidemethereisquiteagoodplayer，ifonlyIcouldpersuadehimtocomeout。Heisshy，thatisall。Hedoesnotseemabletoplaywhenpeoplearelookingon。Theshotshemisseswhenpeoplearelookingonwouldgiveyouawrongideaofhim。Whennobodyisabout，aprettiergameyoudonotoftensee。Ifsomefolkswhofancythemselvescouldseemewhenthereisnobodyabout，itmighttaketheconceitoutofthem。
　　OnlyonceIplayeduptowhatIfeelismyrealform，andthenitledtoargument。IwasstayingatanhotelinSwitzerland，andthesecondeveningapleasant—spokenyoungfellow，whosaidhehadreadallmybooks——later，heappearedsurprisedonlearningIhadwrittenmorethantwo——askedmeifIwouldcaretoplayahundredup。Weplayedeven，andIpaidforthetable。ThenexteveninghesaidhethoughtitwouldmakeabettergameifhegavemefortyandIbroke。
　　Itwasafairlyclosefinish，andafterwardshesuggestedthatI
　　shouldputdownmynameforthehandicaptheywerearranging。
　　"Iamafraid，"Ianswered，"thatIhardlyplaywellenough。Justaquietgamewithyouisonething；butinahandicapwithacrowdlookingon——"
　　"Ishouldnotletthattroubleyou，"hesaid；"therearesomeherewhoplayworsethanyou——justoneortwo。Itpassestheevening。"
　　Itwasmerelyafriendlyaffair。Ipaidmytwentymarks，andwasgivenplusahundred。Idrewformyfirstgameachattytypeofman，whostartedminustwenty。Weneitherofusdidmuchforthefirstfiveminutes，andthenImadeabreakofforty—four。
　　Therewasnotaflukeinitfrombeginningtoend。Iwasnevermoreastonishedinmylife。Itseemedtomeitwasthecuewasdoingit。
　　MinusTwentywasevenmoreastonished。IheardhimasIpassed：
　　"Whohandicappedthisman？"heasked。
　　"Idid，"saidthepleasant—spokenyoungster。
　　"Oh，"saidMinusTwenty——"friendofyours，Ipresume？"
　　Thereareeveningsthatseemtobelongtoyou。Wefinishedthattwohundredandfiftyunderthethree—quartersofanhour。IexplainedtoMinusTwenty——hewasplussixty—threeattheend——thatmyplaythatnighthadbeenexceptional。Hesaidthathehadheardofcasessimilar。Ilefthimtalkingvolublytothecommittee。Hewasnotanicemanatall。
　　AfterthatIdidnotcaretowin；andthatofcoursewasfatal。ThelessItried，themoreimpossibleitseemedformetodowrong。I
　　wasleftinatthelastwithamanfromanotherhotel。ButforthatIamconvincedIshouldhavecarriedoffthehandicap。Ourhoteldidn’t，anyhow，wanttheotherhoteltowin。Sotheygatheredroundme，andofferedmesoundadvice，andbeggedmetobecareful；withthenaturalresultthatIwentbacktomyusualformquitesuddenly。
　　NeverbeforeorsincehaveIplayedasIplayedthatweek。ButitshowedmewhatIcoulddo。Ishallgetanewtable，withproperpocketsthistime。Thereissomethingwrongaboutourpockets。Theballsgointothemandthencomeoutagain。Youwouldthinktheyhadseensomethingtheretofrightenthem。Theycomeouttremblingandholdontothecushion。
　　Ishallalsogetanewredball。Ifancyitmustbeaveryoldball，ourred。Itseemstometobealwaystired。
　　"Thebilliard—room，"IsaidtoDick，"Iseemywaytoeasilyenough。
　　Addinganothertenfeettowhatisnowthedairywillgiveustwenty—
　　eightbytwenty。IamhopefulthatwillbesufficientevenforyourfriendMalooney。Thedrawing—roomistoosmalltobeofanyuse。I
　　maydecide——asRobinahassuggested——to’throwitintothehall。’
　　Butthestairswillremain。Fordancing，privatetheatricals——thingstokeepyouchildrenoutofmischief——IhaveanideaIwillexplaintoyoulateron。Thekitchen——"
　　"CanIhavearoomtomyself？"askedVeronica。
　　Veronicawassittingonthefloor，staringintothefire，herchinsupportedbyherhand。Veronica，inthoseraremomentswhensheisrestingfromhertroubles，wearsaholy，far—awayexpressionapttomisleadthestranger。Governesses，newtoher，havetheirdoubtswhetherontheseoccasionstheyarejustifiedindraggingherbacktodiscussmeredatesandtables。Poetswhoarefriendsofmine，comingunexpectedlyuponVeronicastandingbythewindow，gazingupwardattheeveningstar，havethoughtitwasavision，untiltheygotcloserandfoundthatshewassuckingpeppermints。
　　"Ishouldsoliketohavearoomalltomyself，"addedVeronica。
　　"Itwouldbearoom！"commentedRobin。
　　"Itwouldn’thaveyourhairpinsstickingupalloverthebed，anyhow，"murmuredVeronicadreamily。
　　"Ilikethat！"saidRobin；"why——"
　　"You’reharderthanIam，"saidVeronica。
　　"Ishouldwishyoutohavearoom，Veronica，"Isaid。"Myfearisthatinplaceofoneuntidybedroominthehouse——aroomthatmakesmeshuddereverytimeIseeitthroughtheopendoor；andthedoor，inspiteofallIcansay，generallyiswideopen——"
　　"I’mnotuntidy，"saidRobin，"notreally。Iknowwhereeverythingisinthedark——ifpeoplewouldonlyleavethemalone。"
　　"Youare。You’reaboutthemostuntidygirlIknow，"saidDick。
　　"I’mnot，"saidRobin；"youdon’tseeothergirls’rooms。LookatyoursatCambridge。Malooneytoldusyou’dhadafire，andweallbelievedhimatfirst。"
　　"Whenaman’sworking——"saidDick。
　　"Hemusthaveanorderlyplacetoworkin，"suggestedRobin。
　　Dicksighed。"It’sneveranygoodtalkingtoyou，"saidDick。"Youdon’tevenseeyourownfaults。"
　　"Ican，"saidRobin；"Iseethemmorethananyone。AllIclaimisjustice。"
　　"Showme，Veronica，"Isaid，"thatyouareworthytopossessaroom。
　　Atpresentyouappeartoregardthewholehouseasyourroom。Ifindyourgaitersonthecroquetlawn。Aportionofyourcostume——anarticlethatanyonepossessedofthetruefeelingsofaladywoulddesiretokeephiddenfromtheworld——isdiscoveredwavingfromthestaircasewindow。"
　　"Iputitouttobemended，"explainedVeronica。
　　"Youopenedthedoorandflungitout。Itoldyouofitatthetime，"saidRobin。"Youdothesamewithyourboots。"
　　"Youaretoohigh—spiritedforyoursize，"explainedDicktoher。
　　"Trytobelessdashing。"
　　"Icouldalsowish，Veronica，"Icontinued，"thatyoushedyourbackcomblesseasily，oratleastthatyouknewwhenyouhadshedit。Asforyourgloves——well，huntingyourgloveshascometobeourleadingwintersport。"
　　"Peoplelookinsuchfunnyplacesforthem，"saidVeronica。
　　"Granted。Butbejust，Veronica，"Ipleaded。"Admitthatitisinfunnyplacesweoccasionallyfindthem。Whenlookingforyourthingsonelearns，Veronica，nevertodespair。Solongasthereremainsacornerunexploredinsideoroutsidethehouse，withinthehalf—mileradius，hopeneednotbeabandoned。"
　　Veronicawasstillgazingdreamilyintothefire。
　　"Isuppose，"saidVeronica，"it’sreditty。"
　　"It’swhat？"Isaid。
　　"Shemeansheredity，"suggestedDick——"cheekyyoungbeggar！Iwonderyoulethertalktoyouthewayshedoes。"
　　"Besides，"addedRobin，"asIamalwaysexplainingtoyou，Paisaliteraryman。Withhimitispartofhistemperament。"
　　"It’shardonuschildren，"saidVeronica。
　　Wewereallagreed——withtheexceptionofVeronica——thatitwastimeVeronicawenttobed。AschairmanItookituponmyselftoclosurethedebate。
　　CHAPTERII
　　"Doyoumean，Governor，thatyouhaveactuallyboughtthehouse？"
　　demandedDick，"orareweonlytalkingaboutit？"
　　"Thistime，Dick，"Ianswered，"Ihavedoneit。"
　　Dicklookedserious。"Isitwhatyouwanted？"heasked。
　　"No，Dick，"Ireplied，"itisnotwhatIwanted。Iwantedanold—
　　fashioned，picturesque，ramblingsortofaplace，allgablesandivyandorielwindows。"
　　"Youaremixingthingsup，"Dickinterrupted，"gablesandorielwindowsdon’tgotogether。"
　　"Ibegyourpardon，Dick，"Icorrectedhim，"inthehouseIwanted，theydo。ItisthestyleofhouseyoufindintheChristmasnumber。
　　Ihaveneverseenitanywhereelse，butItookafancytoitfromthefirst。Itisnottoofarfromthechurch，anditlightsupwellatnight。’Oneofthesedays，’Iusedtosaytomyselfwhenaboy，’I’llbeaclevermanandliveinahousejustlikethat。’Itwasmydream。"
　　"Andwhatisthisplacelike？"demandedRobin，"thisplaceyouhavebought。"
　　"Theagent，"Iexplained，"claimsforitthatitiscapableofimprovement。Iaskedhimtowhatschoolofarchitecturehewouldsayitbelonged；hesaidhethoughtthatitmusthavebeenalocalschool，andpointedout——whatseemstobethetruth——thatnowadaystheydonotbuildsuchhouses。"
　　"Neartotheriver？"demandedDick。
　　"Well，bytheroad，"Ianswered，"Idaresayitmaybeacoupleofmiles。"
　　"Andbytheshortestway？"questionedDick。
　　"Thatistheshortestway，"Iexplained；"there’saprettierwaythroughthewoods，butthatisaboutthreemilesandahalf。"
　　"Butwehaddecideditwastobeneartheriver，"saidRobin。
　　"Wealsodecided，"Ireplied，"thatitwastobeonsandysoil，withasouth—westaspect。Onlyonethinginthishousehasasouth—westaspect，andthat’sthebackdoor。Iaskedtheagentaboutthesand。
　　Headvisedme，ifIwanteditinanyquantity，togetanestimatefromtheRailwayCompany。Iwanteditonahill。Itisonahill，withabiggerhillinfrontofit。Ididn’twantthatotherhill。I
　　wantedanuninterruptedviewofthesouthernhalfofEngland。I
　　wantedtotakepeopleoutonthestep，andcramthemwithstoriesaboutourbeingableoncleardaystoseetheBristolChannel。Theymightnothavebelievedme，butwithoutthathillIcouldhavestucktoit，andtheycouldnothavebeencertain——notdeadcertain——Iwaslying。
　　"Personally，Ishouldhavelikedahousewheresomethinghadhappened。Ishouldhaveliked，myself，ablood—stain——notafussyblood—stain，aneatunobtrusiveblood—stainthatwouldhavebeencontent，mostofitstime，toremainhiddenunderthemat，shownonlyoccasionallyasatreattovisitors。Ihadhopesevenofaghost。I
　　don’tmeanoneofthosenoisyghoststhatdoesn’tseemtoknowitisdead。Aladyghostwouldhavebeenmyfancy，agentleghostwithquiet，prettyways。Thishouse——well，itissuchasensible—lookinghouse，thatismychiefobjectiontoit。Ithasgotanecho。Ifyougototheendofthegardenandshoutatitveryloudly，itanswersyouback。Thisistheonlybitoffunyoucanhavewithit。Eventhenitanswersyouinsuchatoneyoufeelitthinksthewholethingsilly——isdoingitmerelytohumouryou。Itisoneofthosehousesthatalwaysseemstobethinkingofitsratesandtaxes。"
　　"Anyreasonatallforyourhavingboughtit？"askedDick。
　　"Yes，Dick，"Ianswered。"Weareallofustiredofthissuburb。Wewanttoliveinthecountryandbegood。Toliveinthecountrywithanycomfortitisnecessarytohaveahousethere。Thisbeingadmitted，itfollowswemusteitherbuildahouseorbuyone。I
　　wouldrathernotbuildahouse。Talboysbuilthimselfahouse。YouknowTalboys。WhenIfirstmethim，beforehestartedbuilding，hewasacheerfulsoulwithakindlywordforeveryone。Thebuilderassureshimthatinanothertwentyyears，whenthecolourhashadtimetotonedown，hishousewillbeapicture。Atpresentitmakeshimbilious，themeresightofit。Yearbyyear，theytellhim，asthedampnesswearsitselfaway，hewillsufferlessandlessfromrheumatism，ague，andlumbago。Hehasahedgeroundthegarden；itiseighteenincheshigh。Tokeeptheboysouthehasputupbarbed—
　　wirefencing。Butwirefencingaffordsnorealprivacy。WhentheTalboysaretakingcoffeeonthelawn，thereisgenerallyacrowdfromthevillagewatchingthem。Therearetreesinthegarden；youknowtheyaretrees——thereisalabeltiedtoeachonetellingyouwhatsortoftreeitis。Forthemomentthereisasimilarityaboutthem。Thirtyyearshence，Talboysestimates，theywillaffordhimshadeandcomfort；butbythattimehehopestobedead。Iwantahousethathasgotoverallitstroubles；Idon’twanttospendtherestofmylifebringingupayoungandinexperiencedhouse。"
　　"Butwhythisparticularhouse？"urgedRobin，"if，asyousay，itisnotthehouseyouwanted。"
　　"Because，mydeargirl，"Ianswered，"itislessunlikethehouseI
　　wantedthanotherhousesIhaveseen。Whenweareyoungwemakeupourmindstotryandgetwhatwewant；whenwehavearrivedatyearsofdiscretionwedecidetotryandwantwhatwecanget。Itsavestime。DuringthelasttwoyearsIhaveseenaboutsixtyhouses，andoutofthelottherewasonlyonethatwasreallythehouseIwanted。
　　HithertoIhavekeptthestorytomyself。Evennow，thinkingaboutitirritatesme。Itwasnotanagentwhotoldmeofit。Imetamanbychanceinarailwaycarriage。Hehadablackeye。IfeverImeethimagainI’llgivehimanother。Heaccountedforitbyexplainingthathehadhadtroublewithagolfball，andatthetimeIbelievedhim。ImentionedtohiminconversationIwaslookingforahouse。
　　Hedescribedthisplacetome，anditseemedtomehoursbeforethetrainstoppedatastation。WhenitdidIgotoutandtookthenexttrainback。Ididnotevenwaitforlunch。Ihadmybicyclewithme，andIwentstraightthere。Itwas——well，itwasthehouseI
　　wanted。Ifithadvanishedsuddenly，andIhadfoundmyselfinbed，thewholethingwouldhaveseemedmorereasonable。Theproprietoropenedthedoortomehimself。Hehadthebearingofaretiredmilitaryman。ItwasafterwardsIlearnthewastheproprietor。
　　"Isaid，’Goodafternoon；ifitisnottroublingyou，Iwouldliketolookoverthehouse。’Wewerestandingintheoak—panelledhall。I
　　noticedthecarvedstaircaseaboutwhichthemaninthetrainhadtoldme，alsotheTudorfireplaces。ThatisallIhadtimetonotice。ThenextmomentIwaslyingonmybackinthemiddleofthegravelwiththedoorshut。Ilookedup。Isawtheoldmaniac’sheadstickingoutofalittlewindow。Itwasanevilface。Hehadaguninhishand。
　　"’I’mgoingtocounttwenty，’hesaid。’Ifyouarenottheothersideofthegatebythen，Ishoot。’
　　"Iranoverthefiguresmyselfonmywaytothegate。Imadeiteighteen。
　　"Ihadanhourtowaitforthetrain。Italkedthematteroverwiththestation—master。
　　"’Yes，’hesaid，’there’llbetroubleupthereoneofthesedays。’
　　"Isaid，’Itseemstometohavebegun。’
　　"Hesaid，’It’stheIndiansun。Itgetsintotheirheads。Wehaveoneortwointheneighbourhood。Theyarequietenoughtillsomethinghappens。’
　　"’IfI’dbeentwosecondslonger，’Isaid，’Ibelievehe’dhavedoneit。’
　　"’It’satakinghouse，’saidthestation—master；’nottoobigandnottoolittle。It’sthesortofhousepeopleseemtobelookingfor。’
　　"’Idon’tenvy，’Isaid，’thenextpersonthatfindsit。’
　　"’Hesettledhimselfdownhere，’saidthestation—master，’abouttenyearsago。Sincethen，ifonepersonhasofferedtotakethehouseoffhishands，Isupposeathousandhave。Atfirsthewouldlaughatthemgood—temperedly——explaintothemthathisideawastolivetherehimself，inpeaceandquietness，tillhedied。Twooutofeverythreeofthemwouldexpresstheirwillingnesstowaitforthat，andsuggestsomearrangementbywhichtheymightenterintopossession，say，aweekafterthefuneral。Thelastfewmonthsithasbeenworsethanever。Ireckonyou’reabouttheeighththathasbeenuptherethisweek，andto—dayonlyThursday。There’ssomethingtobesaid，youknow，fortheoldman。’"
　　"Anddidhe，"askedDick——"didheshootthenextpartythatcamealong？"
　　"Don’tbesosilly，Dick，"saidRobin；"it’sastory。Tellusanother，Pa。"
　　"Idon’tknowwhatyoumean，Robina，byastory，"Isaid。"Ifyoumeantoimply——"
　　Robinasaidshedidn’t；butIknowquitewellshedid。BecauseIamanauthor，andhavetotellstoriesformyliving，peoplethinkI
　　don’tknowanytruth。Itisvexingenoughtobedoubtedwhenoneisexaggerating；tohavesneersflungatonebyone’sownkithandkinwhenoneisstrugglingtoconfineoneselftobald，barenarrative——
　　well，whereistheinducementtobetruthful？TherearetimeswhenI
　　almostsaytomyselfthatIwillnevertellthetruthagain。
　　"Asithappens，"Isaid，"thestoryistrue，inmanyplaces。IpassoveryourindifferencetotheriskIran；thoughanicegirlatthepointwherethegunwasmentionedwouldhaveexpressedalarm。
　　Anyhow，attheendyoumighthavesaidsomethingmoresympatheticthanmerely，’Tellusanother。’Hedidnotshootthenextpartythatarrived，forthereasonthattheverynextdayhiswife，alarmedatwhathadhappened，wentuptoLondonandconsultedanexpert——nonetoosoon，asitturnedout。Thepooroldfellowdiedsixmonthslaterinaprivatelunaticasylum；Ihaditfromthestation—masteronpassingthroughthejunctionagainthisspring。Thehousefellintothepossessionofhisnephew，whoislivinginitnow。Heisayoungishmanwithalargefamily，andpeoplehavelearntthattheplaceisnotforsale。Itseemstomeratherasadstory。TheIndiansun，asthestation—masterthinks，mayhavestartedthetrouble；buttheendwasundoubtedlyhastenedbytheannoyancetowhichtheunfortunategentlemanhadbeensubjected；andImyselfmighthavebeenshot。Theonlythingthatcomfortsmeisthinkingofthatfool’sblackeye——thefoolthatsentmethere。"
　　"Andnoneoftheotherhouses，"suggestedDick，"wereanygoodatall？"
　　"Thereweredrawbacks，Dick，"Iexplained。"TherewasahouseinEssex；itwasoneofthefirstyourmotherandIinspected。InearlyshedtearsofjoywhenIreadtheadvertisement。Ithadoncebeenapriory。QueenElizabethhadsleptthereonherwaytoGreenwich。A
　　photographofthehouseaccompaniedtheadvertisement。Ishouldnothavebelievedthethinghaditbeenapicture。ItwasundertwelvemilesfromCharingCross。Theowner，itwasstated，wasopentooffers。"
　　"Allhumbug，Isuppose，"suggestedDick。
　　"Theadvertisement，ifanything，"Ireplied，"hadunder—estimatedtheattractivenessofthathouse。AllIblametheadvertisementforisthatitdidnotmentionotherthings。Itdidnotmention，forinstance，thatsinceQueenElizabeth’stimetheneighbourhoodhadchanged。Itdidnotmentionthattheentrancewasbetweenapublic—
　　houseonesideofthegateandafried—fishshopontheother；thattheGreatEasternRailway—Companyhadestablishedagoodsdepotatthebottomofthegarden；thatthedrawing—roomwindowslookedoutonextensivechemicalworks，andthedining—roomwindows，whichwereroundthecorner，onastonemason’syard。Thehouseitselfwasadream。"
　　"Butwhatisthesenseofit？"demandedDick。"Whatdohouseagentsthinkisthegoodofit？Dotheythinkpeoplelikelytotakeahouseafterreadingtheadvertisementwithoutevergoingtoseeit？"
　　"Iaskedanagentoncethatveryquestion，"Ireplied。"Hesaidtheydiditfirstandforemosttokeepupthespiritsoftheowner——themanwhowantedtosellthehouse。Hesaidthatwhenamanwastryingtopartwithahousehehadtolistentosomuchabuseofitfrompeoplewhocametoseeitthatifsomebodydidnotstickupforthehouse——sayallthatcouldbesaidforit，andglossoveritsdefects—
　　—hewouldendbybecomingsoashamedofithewouldwanttogiveitaway，orblowitupwithdynamite。Hesaidthatreadingtheadvertisementintheagent’scataloguewastheonlythingthatreconciledhimtobeingtheownerofthehouse。Hesaidoneclientofhishadbeentryingtosellhishouseforyears——untilonedayintheofficehereadbychancetheagent’sdescriptionofit。Uponwhichhewentstraighthome，tookdowntheboard，andhaslivedtherecontentedlyeversince。Fromthatpointofviewthereisreasoninthesystem；butforthehouse—hunteritworksbadly。
　　"Oneagentsentmeaday’sjourneytoseeahousestandinginthemiddleofabrickfield，withaviewoftheGrandJunctionCanal。I
　　askedhimwherewastheriverhehadmentioned。Heexplaineditwastheothersideofthecanal，butonalowerlevel；thatwastheonlyreasonwhyfromthehouseyoucouldn’tseeit。Iaskedhimforhispicturesquescenery。Heexplaineditwasfartheron，roundthebend。
　　Heseemedtothinkmeunreasonable，expectingtofindeverythingI
　　wantedjustoutsidethefront—door。Hesuggestedmyshuttingoutthebrickfield——ifIdidn’tlikethebrickfield——withtrees。Hesuggestedtheeucalyptus—tree。Hesaiditwasarapidgrower。Healsotoldmethatityieldedgum。
　　"AnotherhouseItravelleddownintoDorsetshiretosee。Itcontained，accordingtotheadvertisement，’perhapsthemostperfectspecimenofNormanarchextantinSouthernEngland。’ItwastobefoundmentionedinDugdale，anddatedfromthethirteenthcentury。I
　　don’tquiteknowwhatIexpected。Iarguedtomyselfthattheremusthavebeenruffiansofonlymoderatemeanseveninthosedays。Hereandtheresomerobberbaronwhohadstruckapoorlineofcountrywouldhavehadtobecontentwithahomelylittlecastle。Afewsuch，hiddenawayinunfrequenteddistricts，hadescapeddestruction。
　　Moreciviliseddescendantshadadaptedthemtolaterrequirements。I
　　hadinmymind，beforethetrainreachedDorchester，somethingbetweenaminiatureTowerofLondonandamediaevaleditionofAnnHathaway’scottageatStratford。Ipictureddungeonsandadrawbridge，perhapsasecretpassage。Lamchickhasasecretpassage，leadingfrombehindasortofportraitinthedining—roomtothebackofthekitchenchimney。Theyuseitforalinencloset。Itseemstomeapity。Ofcourseoriginallyitwentonfarther。Thevicar，whoisabitofanantiquarian，believesitcomesoutsomewhereinthechurchyard。ItellLamchickheoughttohaveitopenedup，buthiswifedoesn’twantittouched。Sheseemstothinkitjustrightasitis。Ihavealwayshadafancyforasecretpassage。IdecidedI
　　wouldhavethedrawbridgerepairedandmadepracticable。Flankedoneachsidewithflowersintubs，itwouldhavebeenanovelandpicturesqueapproach。"
　　"Wasthereadrawbridge？"askedDick。
　　"Therewasnodrawbridge，"Iexplained。"Theentrancetothehousewasthroughwhatthecaretakercalledtheconservatory。Itwasnotthesortofhousethatgoeswithadrawbridge。"
　　"ThenwhatabouttheNormanarches？"arguedDick。
　　"Notarches，"Icorrectedhim；"Arch。TheNormanarchwasdownstairsinthekitchen。Itwasthekitchen，thathadbeenbuiltinthethirteenthcentury——andhadnothadmuchdonetoitsince，apparently。Originally，Ishouldsay，ithadbeenthetorturechamber；itgaveyouthatidea。Ithinkyourmotherwouldhaveraisedobjectionstothekitchen——anyhow，whenshecametothinkofthecook。Itwouldhavebeennecessarytoputittothewomanbeforeengagingher：—
　　"’Youdon’tmindcookinginadungeoninthedark，doyou？’
　　"Somecookswould。TherestofthehousewaswhatIshoulddescribeaspresent—daymixedstyle。Thelasttenantbutonehadthrownoutabathroomincorrugatediron。"
　　"ThentherewasahouseinBerkshirethatItookyourmothertosee，withatroutstreamrunningthroughthegrounds。Iimaginedmyselfgoingoutafterlunch，catchingtroutfordinner；invitingswaggerfriendsdownto’mylittleplaceinBerkshire’forafewdays’trout—
　　fishing。ThereisamanIonceknewwhoisnowabaronet。Heusedtobekeenonfishing。IthoughtmaybeI’dgethim。ItwouldhavelookedwellintheLiteraryGossipcolumn：’Amongtheotherdistinguishedguests’——youknowthesortofthing。Ihadtheparagraphalreadyinmymind。ThewonderisIdidn’tbuyarod。"
　　"Wasn’tthereanytroutstream？"questionedRobin。
　　"Therewasastream，"Ianswered；"ifanything，toomuchstream。Thestreamwasthefirstthingyourmothernoticed。Shenoticeditaquarterofanhourbeforewecametoit——beforeweknewitwasthestream。Wedrovebacktothetown，andsheboughtasmelling—bottle，thelargersize。
　　"Itgaveyourmotheraheadache，thatstream，andmadememad。Theagent’sofficewasoppositethestation。IallowedmyselfhalfanhouronmywaybacktotellhimwhatIthoughtofhim，andthenI
　　missedthetrain。Icouldhavegotitinifhehadletmetalkallthetime，buthewouldinterrupt。Hesaiditwasthepeopleatthepaper—mill——thathehadspokentothemaboutitmorethanonce；heseemedtothinksympathywasallIwanted。Heassuredme，onhiswordasahouse—agent，thatithadoncebeenatroutstream。Thefactwashistorical。IsaacWaltonhadfishedthere——thatwaspriortothepaper—mill。Hethoughtacollectionoftrout，maleandfemale，mightbeboughtandplacedinit；preferencebeinggiventosomehardybreedoftrout，accustomedtoroughingit。ItoldhimI
　　wasn’tlookingforaplacewhereIcouldplayatbeingNoah；andlefthim，asIexplainedtohim，withtheintentionofgoingstraighttomysolicitorsandinstitutingproceedingsagainsthimfortalkinglikeafool；andheputonhishatandwentacrosstohissolicitorstocommenceproceedingsagainstmeforlibel。
　　"Isupposethat，withmyself，hethoughtbetterofitintheend。
　　ButI’mtiredofhavingmylifeturnedintooneperpetualfirstofApril。ThishousethatIhaveboughtisnotmyheart’sdesire，butaboutittherearepossibilities。Wewillputinlatticewindows，andfuss—upthechimneys。Maybewewillletinatabletoverthefront—door，withadate——alwayslookswell：itisapicturesquefigure，theold—fashionedfive。Bythetimewehavedonewithit——
　　forallpracticalpurposes——itwillbeaTudormanor—house。IhavealwayswantedanoldTudormanor—house。Thereisnoreason，sofarasIcansee，whythereshouldnotbestoriesconnectedwiththishouse。WhyshouldnotwehavearoominwhichSomebodyonceslept？
　　Wewon’thaveQueenElizabeth。I’mtiredofQueenElizabeth。
　　Besides，Idon’tbelieveshe’dhavebeennice。WhynotQueenAnne？
　　Aquiet，gentleoldlady，fromallaccounts，whowouldnothavegiventrouble。Or，betterstill，Shakespeare。HewasconstantlytoandfrobetweenLondonandStratford。Itwouldnothavebeensoverymuchoutofhisway。’TheroomwhereShakespeareslept！’Why，it’sanewidea。NobodyeverseemstohavethoughtofShakespeare。Thereisthefour—postbedstead。Yourmotherneverlikedit。Shewillinsist，itharboursthings。Wemighthangthewallwithscenesfromhisplays，andhaveabustoftheoldgentlemanhimselfoverthedoor。IfI’mleftaloneandnotworried，I’llprobablyendbybelievingthathereallydidsleepthere。"
　　"Whataboutcupboards？"suggestedDick。"TheLittleMotherwillclamourforcupboards。"
　　Itisunexplainable，theaveragewoman’spassionforcupboards。Inheaven，herfirstrequest，Iamsure，isalways，"CanIhaveacupboard？"Shewouldkeepherhusbandandchildrenincupboardsifshehadherway：thatwouldbeherideaoftheperfecthome，everybodywrappedupwithapieceofcamphorinhisorherownpropercupboard。Iknewawomanoncewhowashappy——forawoman。Shelivedinahousewithtwenty—ninecupboards：Ithinkitmusthavebeenbuiltbyawoman。Theywerespaciouscupboards，manyofthem，withdoorsinnowaydifferentfromotherdoors。Visitorswouldwisheachothergood—nightanddisappearwiththeircandlesintocupboards，staggeringoutbackwardsthenextmoment，lookingscared。Onepoorgentleman，thiswoman’shusbandtoldme，havingtogodownstairsagainforsomethinghehadforgotten，andunableonhisreturntostrikeanythingelsebutcupboards，lostheartandfinishedupthenightinacupboard。Atbreakfast—timeguestswouldhurrydown，andburstopencupboarddoorswithacheery"Good—morning。"Whenthatwomanwasout，nobodyinthathouseeverknewwhereanythingwas；andwhenshecamehomesheherselfonlyknewwhereitoughttohavebeen。
　　Yetonce，whenoneofthosetwenty—ninecupboardshadtobeclearedouttemporarilyforrepairs，sheneversmiled，herhusbandtoldme，formorethanthreeweeks——nottilltheworkmenwereoutofthehouse，andthatcupboardinworkingorderagain。Shesaiditwassoconfusing，havingnowheretoputherthings。
　　Theaveragewomandoesnotwantahouse，intheordinarysenseoftheword。Whatshewantsissomethingmadebyagenii。Youhavefound，asyouthink，theidealhouse。YoushowhertheAdamsfireplaceinthedrawing—room。Youtapthewainscotingofthehallwithyourumbrella："Oak，"youimpressuponher，"alloak。"Youdrawherattentiontotheview：youtellherthelocallegend。Byfixingherheadagainstthewindow—paneshecanseethetreeonwhichthemanwashanged。Youdwelluponthesundial；youmentionforasecondtimetheAdamsfireplace。
　　"It’sallverynice，"sheanswers，"butwherearethechildrengoingtosleep？"
　　Itissodisheartening。
　　Ifitisn’tthechildren，it’sthewater。Shewantswater——wantstoknowwhereitcomesfrom。Youshowherwhereitcomesfrom。
　　"What，outofthatnastyplace！"sheexclaims。
　　Sheisequallydissatisfiedwhetheritbedrawnfromawell，orwhetheritbewaterthathasfallenfromheavenandbeenstoredintanks。ShehasnofaithinNature’swater。Awomanneverbelievesthatwatercanbegoodthatdoesnotcomefromawater—works。HerideaappearstobethattheCompanymakesitfresheverymorningfromsomeoldfamilyrecipe。
　　Ifyoudosucceedinreconcilinghertothewater，thenshefeelssurethatthechimneyssmoke；theylookasiftheysmoked。Why——asyoutellher——thechimneysarethebestpartofthehouse。Youtakeheroutsideandmakeherlookatthem。Theyaregenuinesixteenth—
　　centurychimneys，withcarvingonthem。Theycouldn’tsmoke。Theywouldn’tdoanythingsoinartistic。Shesayssheonlyhopesyouareright，andsuggestscowls，iftheydo。
　　Afterthatshewantstoseethekitchen——where’sthekitchen？Youdon’tknowwhereitis。Youdidn’tbotheraboutthekitchen。Theremustbeakitchen，ofcourse。Youproceedtosearchforthekitchen。
　　Whenyoufinditsheisworriedbecauseitistheoppositeendofthehousetothedining—room。Youpointouttohertheadvantageofbeingawayfromthesmellofthecooking。Atthatshegetspersonal：
　　tellsyouthatyouarethefirsttogrumblewhenthedinneriscold；
　　andinhermadnessaccusesthewholemalesexofbeingimpractical。
　　Themeresightofanemptyhousemakesawomanfretful。
　　Ofcoursethestoveiswrong。Thekitchenstovealwaysiswrong。
　　Youpromisesheshallhaveanewone。Sixmonthslatershewillwanttheoldonebackagain：butitwouldbecrueltotellherthis。Thepromiseofthatnewstovecomfortsher。Thewomanneverloseshopethatonedayitwillcome——theall—satisfyingkitchenstove，thestoveofhergirlishdreams。
　　Thequestionofthestovesettled，youimagineyouhavesilencedallopposition。Atonceshebeginstotalkaboutthingsthatnobodybutawomanorasanitaryinspectorcantalkaboutwithoutblushing。
　　Itcallsfortact，gettingawomanintoanewhouse。Sheisnervous，suspicious。
　　"Iamglad，mydearDick，"Ianswered；"thatyouhavementionedcupboards。ItiswithcupboardsthatIamhopingtolureyourmother。Thecupboards，fromherpointofview，willbetheonebrightspot；therearefourteenofthem。Iamtrustingtocupboardstotidemeovermanythings。Ishallwantyoutocomewithme，Dick。
　　Wheneveryourmotherbeginsasentencewith：’Butnowtobepractical，dear，’Iwantyoutomurmursomethingaboutcupboards——notirritatinglyasifithadbeenprearranged：havealittlegumption。"
　　"Willthereberoomforatenniscourt？"demandedDick。
　　"Anexcellenttenniscourtalreadyexists，"Iinformedhim。"Ihavealsopurchasedtheadjoiningpaddock。Weshallbeabletokeepourowncow。Maybewe’llbreedhorses。"
　　"Wemighthaveacroquetlawn，"suggestedRobin。
　　"Wemighteasilyhaveacroquetlawn，"Iagreed。"Onafull—sizedlawnIbelieveVeronicamightbetaughttoplay。Therearenaturesthatdemandspace。Onafull—sizedlawn，protectedbyastoutironborder，lesstimemightbewastedexploringthesurroundingsceneryforVeronica’slostball。"
　　"Nochanceofagolflinksanywhereintheneighbourhood？"fearedDick。
　　"Iamnotsosure，"Ianswered。"Barelyamileawaythereisaprettypieceofgorselandthatappearstobenogoodtoanyone。I
　　daresayforareasonableoffer——"
　　"Isay，whenwillthisshowbeready？"interruptedDick。
　　"Iproposebeginningthealterationsatonce，"Iexplained。"Bylucktherehappenstobeagamekeeper’scottagevacantandwithindistance。Theagentisgoingtogetmetheuseofitforayear——aprimitivelittleplace，butcharminglysituateontheedgeofawood。
　　Ishallfurnishacoupleofrooms；andforpartofeveryweekIshallmakeapointofbeingdownthere，superintending。Ihavealwaysbeenconsideredgoodatsuperintending。MypoorfatherusedtosayitwastheonlyworkIseemedtotakeaninterestin。BybeingonthespottohurryeverybodyonIhopetohavethe’show，’asyoutermit，readybythespring。"
　　"Ishallnevermarry，"saidRobin。
　　"Don’tbesoeasilydiscouraged，"advisedDick；"youarestillyoung。"
　　"Idon’teverwanttogetmarried，"continuedRobin。"Ishouldonlyquarrelwithmyhusband，ifIdid。AndDickwillneverdoanything——
　　notwithhishead。"
　　"ForgivemeifIamdull，"Ipleaded，"butwhatistheconnectionbetweenthishouse，yourquarrelswithyourhusbandifyouevergetone，andDick’shead？"
　　Bywayofexplanation，Robinsprangtotheground，andbeforehecouldstopherhadflungherarmsaroundDick’sneck。
　　"Wecan’thelpit，Dickdear，"shetoldhim。"Cleverparentsalwayshaveduffingchildren。Butwe’llbeofsomeuseintheworldafterall，youandI。"
　　TheideawasthatDick，whenhehadfinishedfailinginexaminations，shouldgoouttoCanadaandstartafarm，takingRobinwithhim。
　　Theywouldbreedcattle，andgallopovertheprairies，andcampoutintheprimevalforest，andslideaboutonsnow—shoes，andcarrycanoesontheirbacks，andshootrapids，andstalkthings——sofarasIcouldgather，haveasortofeverlastingBuffalo—Bill’sshowalltothemselves。Howandwhenthefarmworkwastogetitselfdonewasnotatallclear。TheLittleMotherandmyselfweretoendourdayswiththem。Weweretositaboutinthesunforatime，andthenpasspeacefullyaway。Robinshedafewtearsatthispoint，butregainedherspirits，thinkingofVeronica，whowastobeluredoutonavisitandmarriedtosometrue—heartedyeoman：whichisnotatpresentVeronica’sambition。Veronica’sconvictionisthatshewouldlookwellinacoronet：herownideaissomethingintheducalline。