’No，indeed，notveryoften，’saidCrosbie，smiling。Whocantellwhohasnotfeltit，thepainthatgoeswiththeforcingofsuchsmiles？ButSirRafflewasnotanacutelyobservantperson，anddidnotseethatanythingwaswrong。
　　’Isupposeyou’redoingalittlebusiness？’saidSirRaffle。’Ifamanhaskeptatrifleofmoneybyhim，thiscertainlyisthetimeforturningit。Youhavealwaysbeenwideawakeaboutsuchthings。’
　　’No，indeed，’saidCrosbie。Ifhecouldonlymakeuphismindthathewouldshoothimself，woulditnotbeapleasantthingtoinflictsomecondignpunishmentonthisodiousmanbeforehelefttheworld？ButCrosbieknewthathewasnotgoingtoshoothimself，andheknewalsothathehadnopowerofinflictingcondignpunishmentonSirRaffleBuffle。Hecouldonlyhatetheman，andcursehiminwardly。
　　’Ah，ha！’saidSirRaffle。’Youwouldn’tbehereunlessyouknewwhereagoodthingistobepickedup。ButImustbeoff。I’montheRockyMountainCanalCompanyDirectory。I’mnotabovetakingmytwoguineasaday。Good—bye，myboy。RemembermetooldOptimist。’AndsoSirRafflepassedon，leavingCrosbiestillstandingatthecornerofthelane。
　　Whatwashetodo？ThisinterruptionhadatleastseemedtodriveLilyfromhismind，andtosendhisideasbacktotheconsiderationofhispecuniarydifficulties。Hethoughtofhisownbank，aWest—Endestablishmentatwhichhewaspersonallyknowntomanyoftheclerks，andwherehehadbeenheretoforetreated，withgreatconsideration。Butoflatehisbalanceshadbeenverylow，andmorethanoncehehadbeenremindedthathehadoverdrawnhisaccount。HeknewwellthatthedistinguishedfirmofBounce，Bounce，andBouncewouldnotcashabillforhimorlendhimmoneywithoutsecurity。Hedidnotevendaretoaskthemtodoso。
　　Onasuddenhejumpedintoacab，andwasdrivenbacktohisoffice。A
　　thoughthadcomeuponhim。Hewouldthrowhimselfuponthekindnessofafriendthere。Hithertohehadcontrivedtoholdhisheadhighabovetheclerksbelowhim，sohighbeforetheCommissionerswhowereabovehim，thatnonetheresuspectedhimtobeamanindifficulty。Itnotseldomhappensthataman’scharacterstandstoohighforhisinterest——sohighthatitcannotbemaintained，andsohighthatanyfallwillbedangerous。AndsoitwaswithCrosbieandhischaracterattheGeneralCommittedOffice。ThemantowhomhewasnowthinkingofapplyingashisfriendwasacertainMrButterwell，whohadbeenhispredecessorinthesecretary’schair，andwhonowfilledthelessonerousbutmoredignifiedpositionofaCommissioner。MrCrosbiehadsomewhatdespisedMrButterwell，andhadoflateyearshadnotbeenaversetoshowingthathedidso。HehadsnubbedMrButterwell，andMrButterwell，driventohiswits’ends，hadtriedafallortwowithhim。InallthesestrugglesCrosbiehadhadthebestofit，andButterwellhadgonetothewall。
　　Nevertheless，forthesakeofofficialdecency，andfromcertainwiseremembrancesofthesourcesofofficialcomfortandofficialdiscomfort，MrButterwallhadalwaysmaintainedashowofoutwardfriendshipwiththesecretary。Theysmiledandweregracious，calledeachotherButterwellandCrosbie，andabstainedfromallcat—and—dogabsurdities。
　　Nevertheless，itwasthefrequentlyexpressedopinionofeveryclerkintheofficethatMrButterwellhatedMrCrosbielikepoison。ThiswasthemantowhomCrosbiesuddenlymadeuphismindthathewouldhaverecourse。
　　Ashewasdrivenbacktotheofficeheresolvedthathewouldmakeaplungeatonceatthedifficulty。HeknewthatButterwellwasfairlyrich，andheknewalsothathewasgood—natured——withthatsortofsleepygood—naturewhichisnotactiveforphilanthropicpurposes，butwhichdislikestoincurthepainofrefusing。AndthenMrButterwellwasnervous，andifthethingwasmanagedwell，hemightbecheatedoutofanassent，beforetimehadbeengivenhiminwhichtopluckupcourageforrefusing。ButCrosbiedoubtedhisowncouragealso——fearingthatifhegavehimselftimeforhesitationhewouldhesitate，andthat，hesitating，hewouldfeeltheterribledisgraceofthethingandnotdoit。So，withoutgoingtohisowndesk，orriddinghimselfofhishat，hewentatoncetoButterwell’sroom。Whenheopenedthedoor，hefoundMrButterwellalone，readingTheTimes。’Butterwell，’saidhe，beginningtospeakbeforehehadevenclosedthedoor，’Ihavecometoyouingreatdistress。Iwonderwhetheryoucanhelpme；Iwantyoutolendmefivehundredpounds？Itmustbefornotlessthanthreemonths。’
　　MrButterwelldroppedthepaperfromhishands，andstaredatthesecretaryoverhisspectacles。
　　CHAPTERXLIV
　　’ISUPPOSEIMUSTLETYOUHAVEIT’
　　CrosbiehadbeenpreparingtheexactwordswithwhichheassailedMrButterwellforthelastquarterofanhour，beforetheywereuttered。
　　Thereisalwaysadifficultyinthechoice，notonlyofthewordswithwhichmoneyshouldbeborrowed，butofthefashionafterwhichtheyshouldbespoken。Thereistheslowdeliberatemanner，inusingwhichtheborrowerattemptstocarrythewished—forlenderalongwithhimbyforceofargument，andtoprovethatthedesiretoborrowshowsnoimprudenceonhisownpart，andthatatendencytolendwillshownoneonthepartoftheintendedlender。Itmaybesaidthatthismodefailsoftenerthananyother。Thereisthepiteousmanner——thepleaforcommiseration。’Mydearfellow，unlessyouwillseemethroughnow，uponmywordIshallbeverybadlyoff。’Andthismannermaybedividedagainintotwo。Thereisthepleapiteouswithalie，andthepleapiteouswithatruth。’Youshallhaveitagainintwomonthsassureasthesunrises。’Thatisgenerallythepleapiteouswithalie。Oritmaybeasfollows；’ItisonlyfairtosaythatIdon’tquiteknowwhenIcanpayitback。’Thisisthepleapiteouswithatruth，anduponthewholeI
　　thinkthatthisisgenerallythemostsuccessfulmodeofborrowing。Andthereistheassureddemand——whichbetokensacloseintimacy。’Oldfellow，canyouletmehavethirtypounds？No？Justputyourname，then，onthebackofthis，andI’llgetitdoneintheCity。’Theworstofthatmanneris，thatthebillsooftendoesnotgetitselfdoneintheCity。Thenthereisthesuddenattack——thatbeingthemannertowhichCrosbiehadrecourseinthepresentinstance。Thatthereareothermodesofborrowingbymeansofwhichyouthbecomesindebtedtoage，andlovetorespect，andignorancetoexperience，isamatterofcourse。ItwillbeunderstoodthatIamherespeakingonlyofborrowingandlendingbetweentheButterwellsandCrosbiesoftheworld。’Ihavecometoyouingreatdistress，’saidCrosbie。’Iwonderwhetheryoucanhelpme。I
　　wantyoutolendmefivehundredpounds。’MrButterwell，whenheheardthewords，droppedthepaperwhichhewasreadingfromhishand，andstaredatCrosbieoverhisspectacles。
　　’Yesitis——averylargesum。HalfthatiswhatIwantatonce；butI
　　shallwanttheotherhalfinamonth。’
　　’Ithoughtthatyouwerealwayssomuchabovetheworldinmoneymatters。Graciousme；——nothingthatIhaveheardforalongtimehasastonishedmemore。Idon’tknowwhy，butIalwaysthoughtyouhadyourthingssoverysnug。’
　　Crosbiewasawarethathehadmadeoneverygreatsteptowardssuccess。
　　TheideahadbeenpresentedtoMrButterwell’smind，andhadnotbeeninstantlyrejectedasascandalouslyiniquitousidea，asanideatowhichnoreceptioncouldbegivenforamoment。Crosbiehadnotbeentreatedastheneedyknife—grinder，andhadgroundtostanduponwhileheurgedhisrequest。’Ihavebeensopressedsincemymarriage，’hesaid，’thatithasbeenimpossibleformetokeepthingsstraight。’
　　’ButLadyAlexandrina——’
　　’Yes，ofcourse；Iknow。Idonotliketotroubleyouwithmyprivateaffairs；——thereisnothing，Ithink，sobadaswashingone’sdirtylineninpublic；——butthetruthis，thatIamonlynowfreefromtherapacityoftheDeCourcys。YouwouldhardlybelievemeifItoldyouwhatI’vehadtopay。Whatdoyouthinkoftwohundredandforty—fivepoundsforbringingherbodyoverhere，andburyingitatDeCourcy？’
　　’I’dhaveleftitwhereitwas。’
　　’AndsowouldI。Youdon’tsupposeIorderedittobedone。Poordearthing。Ifitcoulddoheranygood，GodknowsIwouldnotbegrudgeit。
　　Wehadabadtimeofitwhenweweretogether，butIwouldhavesparednothingforher，aliveordead，thatwasreasonable。Buttomakemepayforbringingthebodyoverhere，whenIneverhadashillingwithher！
　　ByGeorge，itwastoobad。AndthatoafJohnDeCourcy——Ihadtopayhistravellingbilltoo。’
　　’Hedidn’tcometobeburied；——didhe？’
　　’It’stoodisgustingtotalkof，Butterwell；itisindeed。AndwhenI
　　askedforhermoneythatwassettleduponme——itwasonlytwothousandpounds——theymademegotolaw，anditseemstherewasnotwothousandpoundstosettle。IfIlike，Icanhaveanotherlawsuitwiththesisters，whenthemotherisdead。Oh，Butterwell，Ihavemadesuchafoolofmyself。Ihavecometoshipwreck！Oh，Butterwell，ifyoucouldbutknowitall。’
　　’AreyoufreefromtheDeCourcysnow？’
　　’IoweGazebee，themanwhomarriedtheotherwoman，overathousandpounds。ButIpaythatoffattwohundredayear，andhehasapolicyonmylife。’
　　’Whatdoyouowethatfor？’
　　’Don’taskme。NotthatImindtellingyou；——furniture，andtheleaseofahouse，andhisbillforthemarriagesettlement，d——him。’
　　’Godblessme。Theyseemtohavebeenveryharduponyou。’
　　’Amandoesn’tmarryanearl’sdaughterfornothing，Butterwell。AndthentothinkwhatIlost！Itcan’tbehelpednow，youknow。Asamanmakeshisbedhemustlieonit。IamsometimessomadwithmyselfwhenIthinkoveritall——thatIshouldliketoblowmybrainsout。’
　　’Youmustnottalkthatway，Crosbie。Ihatetohearamantalklikethat。’
　　’Idon’tmeanthatIshall。I’mtoomuchofacoward，Ifancy。’Amanwhodesirestosoftenanotherman’sheartshouldalwaysabusehimself。
　　Insofteningawoman’sheart，heshouldabuseher。’Butlifehasbeensobitterwithmeforthelastthreeyears！Ihaven’thadanhourofcomfort；——notanhour。Idon’tknowwhyIshouldtroubleyouwithallthisButterwell。Oh——aboutthemoney；yes；that’sjusthowIstand。I
　　owedGazebeesomethingoverathousandpoundswhichisarrangedasI
　　havetoldyou。Thenthereweredebts，duebymywife——atleastsomeofthemwere，Isuppose——andthathorrid，ghastlyfuneral——anddebts，I
　　don’tdoubt，duebythecursedoldcountess。Atanyrate，togetmyselfclear，Iraisedsomethingoverfourhundredpounds，andnowIowefivewhichmustbepaid，parttomorrow，andtheremainderthisdaymonth。’
　　’Andyou’venosecurity？’
　　’Notarag，notashred，notaline，notanacre。There’smysalary，andafterpayingGazebeewhatcomesduetohim，Icanmanagetoletyouhavethemoneywithintwelvemonths——thatis，ifyoucanlendittome。
　　Icanjustdothatandlive；andifyouwillassistmewiththemoney，I
　　willdoso。That’swhatI’vebroughtmyselftobymyownfolly。’
　　’Fivehundredpoundsissuchalargesumofmoney。’
　　’Indeeditis。’
　　’Andwithoutanysecurity！’
　　’Iknow，Butterwell，thatI’venorighttoaskforit。Ifeelthat。OfcourseIshouldpayyouwhatinterestyouplease。’
　　’Money’saboutsevennow，’saidButterwell。
　　’I’venottheslightestobjectiontosevenpercent。，’saidCrosbie。
　　’Butthat’sonsecurity，’saidButterwell。
　　’Youcannameyourownterms，’saidCrosbie。
　　MrButterwellgotoutofhischair，andwalkedabouttheroomwithhishandsinhispockets。HewasthinkingatthemomentofwhatMrsButterwellwouldsaytohim。’Willananswerdotomorrowmorning？’hesaid。’Iwouldmuchratherhaveittoday，’saidCrosbie。ThenMrButterwelltookanotherturnabouttheroom。’IsupposeImustletyouhaveit。’
　　’Butterwell，’saidCrosbie，’I’meternallyobligedtoyou。It’shardlytoomuchtosaythatyouhavesavedmefromruin。’
　　’OfcourseIwasjokingaboutinterest，’saidButterwell。’Fivepercent。istheproperthing。You’dbetterletmehavealittleacknowledgement。I’llgiveyouthefirsthalftomorrow。’
　　TheyweregenuinetearswhichfilledCrosbie’seyes，asheseizedholdofthesenior’shands。’Butterwell，’hesaid，’whatamItosaytoyou？’
　　’Nothingatall——nothingatall。’
　　’YourkindnessmakesmefeelthatIoughtnottohavecometoyou。’
　　’Oh，nonsense。By—the—by，wouldyoumindtellingThompsontobringthosepaperstomewhichIgavehimyesterday？IpromisedOptimistI
　　wouldreadthembeforethree，andit’spasttwonow。’Sosayinghesathimselfdownathistable，andCrosbiefeltthathewasboundtoleavetheroom。
　　MrButterwell，whenhewasleftalone，didnotreadthepaperswhichThompsonbroughthim；butsaid，instead，thinkingofhisfivehundredpounds。’Justputthemdown，’hesaidtoThompson。Sothepaperswereputdown，andtheretheylayallthatdayandallthenext。ThenThompsontookthemawayagain，anditistobehopedthatsomebodyreadthem。Fivehundredpounds！Itwasalargesumofmoney，andCrosbiewasamanforwhomMrButterwellintruthfeltnoverystrongaffection。’Ofcoursehemusthaveitnow，’hesaidtohimself。’ButwhereshouldIbeifanythingshouldhappentohim？’AndthenherememberedthatMrsButterwellespeciallydislikedMrCrosbie——dislikedhimbecausesheknewthathesnubbedherhusband。’Butit’shardtorefuse，whenonemanhasknownanotherformorethantenyears。’Thenhecomfortedhimselfsomewhatwiththereflection，thatCrosbiewouldnodoubtmakehimselfmorepleasantforthefuturethanhehaddonelately，andwithasecondreflection，thatCrosbie’slifewasagoodlife——andwithathird，astohisowngreatgoodness，inassistingabrotherofficer。Nevertheless，ashesatlookingoutoftheomnibuswindow，onhisjourneyhometoPutney，hewasnotaltogethercomfortableinhismind。MrsButterwellwasaveryprudentwoman。
　　ButCrosbiewasverycomfortableinhismindonthatafternoon。Hehadhardlydaredtohopeforsuccess，buthehadbeensuccessful。HehadnoteventhoughtofButterwellasapossiblefountainofsupply，tillhismindhadbeenbroughtbacktotheaffairsoftheoffice，bythevoiceofSirRaffleBuffleatthecornerofthestreet。Theideathathisbillwouldbedishonoured，andthattidingsofhisinsolvencywouldbeconveyedtotheCommissionersathisBoard，hadbeendreadfultohim。
　　ThewayinwhichhehadbeentreatedbyMusselboroandDobbsBroughtonhadmadehimhateCitymen，andwhathesupposedtobeCityways。Nowtherehadcometohimareliefwhichsuddenlymadeeverythingfeellight。HecouldalmostthinkofMrMortimerGazebeewithoutdisgust。
　　Perhapsafteralltheremightbesomehappinessyetinstoreforhim。
　　MightitnotbepossiblethatLilywouldyetaccepthiminspiteofthechillingletter——thefreezingletterwhichhehadreceivedfromLily’smother？Ofonethinghewasquitecertain。Ifeverhehadtheopportunityofpleadinghisowncausewithher，hecertainlywouldtellhereverythingrespectinghismoneydifficulties。
　　InthatlastresolveIthinkwemaysaythathewasright。IfLilywouldeverlistentohimagainatall，shecertainlywouldnotbedeterredfrommarryinghimbyhisownstoryofhisdebts。
　　CHAPTERXLV
　　LILYDALEGOESTOLONDON
　　OnemorningtowardstheendofMarchthesquirerappedatthewindowofthedrawing—roomoftheSmallHouseinwhichMrsDaleandLilyweresitting。Hehadaletterinhishand，andbothLilyandhermotherknewthathehadcomedowntospeakaboutthecontentsoftheletter。Itwasalwaysasignofgood—humouronthesquire’spart，thisrappingatthewindow。Whenitbecamenecessarytohiminhisgloomymoodstoseehissister—in—law，hewouldwriteanotetoher，andshewouldgoacrosstohimattheGreatHouse。Atothertimes，if，asLilywouldsay，hewasjustthenneithersweetnorbitter，hewouldgoroundtothefrontdoorandknock，andbeadmittedafterthemannerofordinarypeople；butwhenhewasmindedtomakehimselfthoroughlypleasanthewouldcomeandrapatthedrawing—roomwindow，ashewasdoingnow。
　　’I’llletyouin，uncle；waitamoment，’saidLily，assheunboltedthewindowwhichopenedoutuponthelawn。’It’sdreadfullycold，socomeinasfastasyoucan。’
　　’It’snotcoldatall，’saidthesquire。’It’smorelikespringthananymorningwe’vehadyet。I’vebeensittingwithoutafire。’
　　’Youwon’tcatchuswithoutoneforthenexttwomonths；willhe，mamma？
　　Youhavegotaletter，uncle。Isitforustosee？’
　　’Well——yes；I’vebroughtitdowntoshowyou。Mary，whatdoyouthinkisgoingtohappen？’
　　AterribleideaoccurredtoMrsDaleatthatmoment，butshewasmuchtowisetogiveitexpression。Coulditbepossiblethatthesquirewasgoingtomakeafoolofhimselfandgetmarried？’Iamverybadatguessing，’saidMrsDale。’Youhadbettertellus。’
　　’Bernardisgoingtobemarried，’saidLily。
　　’Howdidyouknow？’saidthesquire。
　　’Ididn’tknow。Ionlyguessed。’
　　’Thenyou’veguessedright，’saidthesquire，alittleannoyedathavinghisnewsthustakenoutofhismouth。
　　’Iamsoglad，’saidMrsDale；’andIknowfromyourmannerthatyoulikethematch。’
　　’Well——yes。Idon’tknowtheyounglady，butIthinkthatuponthewholeIdolikeit。It’squitetime，youknow，thathegotmarried。’
　　’He’snotthirtyyet，’saidMrsDale。
　　’Hewillbeinamonthortwo。’
　　’Andwhoisit，uncle？’
　　’Well；——asyou’resogoodatguessing，Isupposeyoucanguessthat？’
　　’It’snotthatMissPartridgeheusedtotalkabout？’
　　’No；it’snotMissPartridge——I’mgladtosay。Idon’tbelievethatthePartridgeshaveashillingamongthem。’
　　’ThenIsupposeit’sanheiress，’saidMrsDale。
　　’No；notanheiress；butshewillhavesomemoneyofherown。AndshehadconnexionsinBarsetshire，whichmakesitpleasant。’
　　’ConnexionsinBarsetshire！Whocanitbe？’saidLily。
　　’HernameisEmilyDunstable，’saidthesquire，’andsheisthenieceofMissDunstablewhomarriedDrThorneandwholivesatChaldicotes。’
　　’Shewasthewomanwhohadmillionsuponmillions，’saidLily，’andallgotbysellingointment。’
　　’Newmindhowitwasgot，’saidthesquireangrily。’MissDunstablemarriedmostrespectably，andhasalwaysmadeamostexcellentuseofhermoney。’
　　’AndwillBernard’swifehaveallherfortune？’askedLily。
　　’Shewillhavetwentythousandpoundsthedayshemarries，andIsupposethatwillbeall。’
　　’Andquiteenough，too，’saidMrsDale。
　　’ItseemsthatoldMrDunstable，ashewascalled，who，asLilysays，soldtheointment，quarrelledwithhissonorwithhisson’swidow，andleftnothingeithertoherortoherchild。Themotherisdead，andtheaunt，DrThorne’swife，hasalwaysprovidedforthechild。That’showitis，andBernardisgoingtomarryher。TheyaretobemarriedatChaldicotesinMay。’
　　’Iamdelightedtohearit，’saidMrsDale。
　　’I’veknownDrThorneforthelastfortyyears；’andthesquirenowspokeinalowmelancholytone。’I’vewrittentohimtosaythattheyoungpeopleshallhavetheoldplaceuptheretothemselvesiftheylikeit。’
　　’What！Andturnyouout？’saidMrsDale。
　　’Thatwouldnotmatter，’saidthesquire。
　　’You’dhavetocomeandlivewithus，’saidLily，takinghimbythehand。
　　’Itdoesn’tmattermuchnowwhereIlive，’saidthesquire。
　　’Bernardwouldneverconsenttothat，’saidMrsDale。
　　’Iwonderwhethershewillaskmetobeabridesmaid？’saidLily。
　　’They’dsatthatChaldicotesissuchaprettyplace，andIshouldseealltheBarsetshirepeoplethatI’vebeenhearingaboutfromGrace。PoorGrace！IknowthattheGrantlysandtheThornesareveryintimate。FancyBernardhavingtwentythousandpoundsfromthemakingofointment！’
　　’Whatdoesitmatterwhereitcomesfrom？’saidthesquire，halfinanger。
　　’Notintheleast；onlyitsoundssoodd。Idohopeshe’sanicegirl。’
　　ThenthesquireproducedaphotographofEmilyDunstablewhichhisnephewhadsenttohim，andtheyallpronouncedhertobeverypretty，verymuchlikealady，andtobeverygood—humoured。Thesquirewasevidentlypleasedwiththematch，andthereforetheladieswerepleasedalso。BernardDalewastheheirtotheestate，andhismarriagewasofcourseamatterofmoment；andasonsuchpropertiesasthatofAllingtonmoneyisalwayswanted，thesquiremaybeforgivenforthegreatimportancewhichheattachedtotheyounglady’sfortune。’Bernardcouldhardlyhavemarriedprudentlywithoutanymoney，’hesaid——’unlesshehadchosentowaittillIamgone。’
　　’Andthenhewouldhavebeentoooldtomarryatall，’saidLily。
　　Butthesquire’sbudgetofnewshadnotyetbeenemptied。HetoldthemsoonafterwardsthathehimselfhadbeensummoneduptoLondon。Bernardhadwrittentohim，begginghimtocomeandseetheyounglady；andthefamilylawyerhadwrittenalso，sayingthathispresenceintownwouldbeverydesirable。’Itisverytroublesome，ofcourse；butIshallgo，’
　　saidthesquire。’Itwilldoyouallthegoodintheworld，’saidMrsDale；’andofcourseyououghttoknowherpersonallybeforethemarriage。’Andthenthesquiremadeacleanbreastofitanddeclaredhisfullpurpose。’Iwasthinkingthat，perhaps，LilywouldnotobjecttogouptoLondonwithme。’
　　’Oh，uncleChristopher，Ishouldsolikeit，’saidLily。
　　’Ifyourmammadoesnotobject。’
　　’Mammaneverobjectstoanything。Ishouldliketoseeherobjectingtothat！’AndLilyshookherheadathermother。
　　’BernardsaysthatMissDunstableparticularlywantstoseeyou。’
　　’Doesshe，indeed？AndIparticularlywanttoseeMissDunstable。Hownice！Mamma，Idon’tthinkI’veeverbeeninLondonsinceIworeshortfrocks。Doyouremembertakingustothepantomime？Onlythinkhowmanyyearsagothatis。I’mquitesureit’stimethatBernardshouldgetmarried。Uncle，Ihopeyou’repreparedtotakemetotheplay。’
　　’Wemustseeaboutthat。’
　　’Andtheopera，andMadameTussaud，andtheHorticulturalGardens，andthenewconjurorwhomakesawomanlieuponnothing。TheideaofmygoingtoLondon！AndthenIsupposeIshallbeoneofthebridesmaids。I
　　declareanewvistaoflifeisopeningouttome！Mamma，youmustn’tbedullwhileI’maway。Itwon’tbeverylong，Isuppose，uncle？’
　　’Aboutamonth，probably，’saidthesquire。
　　’Oh，mamma；whatwillyoudo？’
　　’Nevermindme，Lily。’
　　’YoumustgetBellandthechildrentocome。ButIcannotimaginelivingawayfromhomeamonth。Iwasneverawayfromhomeamonthinmylife。’
　　AndLilydidgouptotownwithheruncle，twodaysonlyafterhavingbeenallowedtoherforherpreparations。Therewasverymuchfortothinkofinsuchajourney。ItwasnotonlythatshewouldseeEmilyDunstablewhowastobehercousin’swife，andthatshewouldgototheplayandvisitthenewconjurer’sentertainment，butthatshewouldbeinthesamecitybothwithAdolphusCrosbieandwithJohnEames。NothavingpersonalexperienceofthewidenessofLondon，andofthewildernesswhichitis——ofthedistancewhichissettherebetweenpersonswhoarenotpurposelybroughttogether——itseemedtoherfancyasthoughforthismonthofherabsencefromhomeshewouldbebroughtintoclosecontiguitywithbothherlovers。ShehadhithertofeltherselftobeatanyratesafeinherfortressatAllington。WhenCrosbiehadwrittentohermother，makingarenewedofferwhichhadbeenrejected，Lilyhadfeltthatshecertainlyneednotseehimunlessitpleasedhertodoso。HecouldhardlyforcehimselfuponheratAllington。AndastoJohnEames，thoughhewould，ofcourse，bewelcomeatAllingtonasoftenashepleasedtoshowhimself，stilltherewasasecurityintheplace。Shewassomuchathometherethatshecouldalwaysbethemistressoftheoccasion。SheknewthatshecouldtalktohimatAllingtonasthoughfromgroundhigherthanthatonwhichhestoodhimself；butshefeltthatthiswouldhardlybethecaseifsheshouldchancetomeethiminLondon。Crosbieprobablywouldnotcomeinherway。Crosbie，shethought——andsheblushedforthemansheloved，astheideacameacrosshermind——wouldbeafraidofmeetingheruncle。ButJohnEameswouldcertainlyfindher；andshewasledbytheexperienceoflatterdaystoimagethatJohnwouldnevercrossherpathwithoutrenewinghisattempts。
　　Butshesaidnowordofthis，eventohermother。ShewascontentedtoconfineheroutspokenexpectationstoEmilyDunstable，andtheplay，andtheconjurer。’Thechancesaretentooneagainstmylikingher，mamma，’
　　shesaid。