CHAPTERV
　　SHOWINGHOWNEARTHETARPEIANROCKISTOTHECAPITOL
　　OnleavingMadamedeGodollo，laPeyradefeltthenecessityofgatheringhimselftogether。Beneaththeconversationhehadjustmaintainedwiththisstrangewoman，whatcouldhesee，——atrap，orarichanddistinguishedmarriageofferedtohim。Undersuchadoubtasthis，topressCelesteforanimmediateanswerwasneitherclevernorprudent；itwassimplytobindhimself，andclosethedoortothechanges，stillveryill—defined，whichseemedofferedtohim。TheresultoftheconsultationwhichTheodoseheldwithhimselfashewalkedalongtheboulevardwasthatheought，forthemoment，tothinkonlyofgainingtime。Consequently，insteadofgoingtotheThuilliers’tolearnCeleste’sdecision，hewenthome，andwrotethefollowinglittlenotetoThuillier：——
　　MydearThuillier，——YouwillcertainlynotthinkitextraordinarythatIshouldnotpresentmyselfatyourhouseto—day，——partlybecauseIfearthesentencewhichwillbepronounceduponme，andpartlybecauseIdonotwishtoseemanimpatientandunmannerlycreditor。Afewdays，moreorless，willmatterlittleundersuchcircumstances，andyetMademoiselleCollevillemayfindthemdesirablefortheabsolutefreedomofherchoice。Ishall，therefore，notgotoseeyouuntilyouwriteforme。
　　Iamnowmorecalm，andIhaveaddedafewmorepagestoourmanuscript；itwilltakebutlittletimetohandinthewholetotheprinter。
　　Everyours，TheodosedelaPeyrade。
　　Twohourslateraservant，dressedinwhatwasevidentlythefirststeptowardsalivery，whichtheThuilliersdidnotasyetventuretorisk，the"maledomestic，"whomMinardhadmentionedtothePhellions，arrivedatlaPeyrade’slodgingswiththefollowingnote：——
　　Cometo—night，withoutfail。WewilltalkoverthewholeaffairwithBrigitte。
　　YourmostaffectionatelydevotedJeromeThuillier。
　　"Good！"saidlaPeyrade；"evidentlythereissomehindranceontheotherside；Ishallhavetimetoturnmyselfround。"
　　Thatevening，whentheservantannouncedhimintheThuilliersalon，theComtessedeGodollo，whowassittingwithBrigitte，hastenedtoriseandleavetheroom。AsshepassedlaPeyradeshemadehimaveryceremoniousbow。Therewasnothingconclusivetobededucedfromthisabruptdeparture，whichmightsignifyanything，eithermuchornothing。
　　Aftertalkingoftheweatherandsoforthforatime，aspersonsdowhohavemettodiscussadelicatesubjectaboutwhichtheyarenotsureofcomingtoanunderstanding，thematterwasopenedbyBrigitte，whohadsentherbrothertotakeawalkontheboulevard，tellinghimtoleavehertomanagetheaffair。
　　"Mydearboy，"shesaidtoTheodose，"itwasveryniceofyounottocomehereto—daylikeaGRASP—ALL，toputyourpistolatourthroats，forwewerenot，asithappened，quitereadytoansweryou。Ithink，"
　　sheadded，"thatourlittleCelesteneedsatriflemoretime。"
　　"Then，"saidlaPeyrade，quickly，"shehasnotdecidedinfavorofMonsieurFelixPhellion？"
　　"Joker！"repliedtheoldmaid，"youknowverywellyousettledthatbusinesslastnight；butyoualsoknow，ofcourse，thatherowninclinationsinclineherthatway。"
　　"Shortofbeingblind，Imusthaveseenthat，"repliedlaPeyrade。
　　"Itisnotanobstacletomyprojects，"continuedMademoiselleThuillier；"butitservestoexplainwhyIaskforCelestealittlemoretime；andalsowhyIhavewishedallalongtopostponethemarriagetoalaterdate。Iwantedtogiveyoutimetoinsinuateyourselfintotheheartofmydearlittlegirl——butyouandThuillierupsetmyplans。"
　　"Nothing，Ithink，hasbeendonewithoutyoursanction，"saidlaPeyrade，"andif，duringthesefifteendays，Ihavenottalkedwithyouonthesubject，itwasoutofpuredelicacy。Thuilliertoldmethateverythingwasagreeduponwithyou。"
　　"Onthecontrary，ThuillierknowsverywellthatIrefusedtomixmyselfuponyournewarrangements。Ifyouhadnotmadeyourselfsoscarcelately，ImighthavebeenthefirsttotellyouthatIdidnotapproveofthem。However，IcantrulysayIdidnothingtohindertheirsuccess。"
　　"Butthatwastoolittle，"saidlaPeyrade；"youractivehelpwasabsolutelynecessary。"
　　"Possibly；butI，whoknowwomenbetterthanyou，beingoneofthem，——
　　IfeltverysurethatifCelestewastoldtochoosebetweentwosuitorsshewouldconsiderthatapermissiontothinkathereaseoftheoneshelikedbest。ImyselfhadalwaysleftherinthevagueastoFelix，knowingasIdidthepropermomenttosettlehermindabouthim。"
　　"So，"saidlaPeyrade，"youmeanthatsherefusesme。"
　　"Itismuchworsethanthat，"returnedBrigitte；"sheacceptsyou，andiswillingtopledgeherword；butitissoeasytoseesheregardsherselfasavictim，thatifIwereinyourplaceIshouldfeelneitherflatterednorsecureinsuchaposition。"
　　InanyotherconditionofmindlaPeyradewouldprobablyhaveansweredthatheacceptedthesacrifice，andwouldmakeithisbusinesstowintheheartwhichatfirstwasreluctantlygiven；butdelaynowsuitedhim，andherepliedtoBrigittewithaquestion：——
　　"Thenwhatdoyouadvise？WhatcoursehadIbettertake？"
　　"FinishThuillier’spamphlet，inthefirstplace，orhe’llgocrazy；
　　andleavemetoworktheotheraffairinyourinterests，"repliedBrigitte。
　　"ButamIinfriendlyhands？For，totellyouthetruth，littleaunt，Ihavenotbeenabletoconcealfrommyselfthatyouhave，forsometimepast，changedverymuchtome。"
　　"Changedtoyou！Whatchangedoyouseeinme，addled—patethatyouare？"
　　"Oh！nothingverytangible，"saidlaPeyrade；"buteversincethatCountessTornahashadafootinginyourhouse——"
　　"Mypoorboy，thecountesshasdonememanyservices，andIamverygratefultoher；butisthatanyreasonwhyIshouldbefalsetoyou，whohavedoneusstillgreaterservices？"
　　"Butyoumustadmit，"saidlaPeyrade，craftily，"thatshehastoldyouagreatdealofharmofme。"
　　"Naturallyshehas；thesefineladiesareallthatway；theyexpectthewholeworldtoadorethem，andsheseesthatyouarethinkingonlyofCeleste；butallshehassaidtomeagainstyourunsoffmymindlikewaterfromvarnishedcloth。"
　　"So，then，littleaunt，Imaycontinuetocountonyou？"persistedlaPeyrade。
　　"Yes；providedyouarenottormenting，andwillletmemanagethisaffair。"
　　"Tellmehowyouaregoingtodoit？"askedlaPeyrade，withanairofgreatgood—humor。
　　"Inthefirstplace，IshallsignifytoFelixthatheisnottosetfootinthishouseagain。"
　　"Isthatpossible？"saidthebarrister；"Imeancanitbedonecivilly？"
　　"Verypossible；IshallmakePhellionhimselftellhim。He’samanwhoisalwaysastrideofprinciples，andhe’llbethefirsttoseethatifhissonwillnotdowhatisnecessarytoobtainCeleste’shandheoughttodepriveusofhispresence。"
　　"Whatnext？"askedlaPeyrade。
　　"Next，IshallsignifytoCelestethatshewasleftatlibertytochooseonehusbandortheother，andasshedidnotchooseFelixshemustmakeuphermindtotakeyou，apiousfellow，suchasshewants。
　　Youneedn’tbeuneasy；I’llsingyourpraises，especiallyyourgenerosityinnotprofitingbythearrangementsheagreedtomaketo—day。Butallthatwilltakeaweekatleast，andifThuillier’spamphletisn’toutbeforethen，Idon’tknowbutwhatweshallhavetoputhiminalunaticasylum。"
　　"Thepamphletcanbeoutintwodays。Butisitverycertain，littleaunt，thatweareplayingabove—board？Mountains，astheysay，nevermeet，butmendo；andcertainly，whenthetimecomestopromotetheelection，IcandoThuilliereithergoodorbadservice。Doyouknow，theotherdayIwasterriblyfrightened。Ihadaletterfromhiminmypocket，inwhichhespokeofthepamphletasbeingwrittenbyme。I
　　fanciedforamomentthatIhaddroppeditintheLuxembourg。IfI
　　had，whatascandalitwouldhavecausedinthequarter。"
　　"Whowoulddaretoplaytrickswithsuchawilyoneasyou？"saidBrigitte，fullycomprehendingthecomminatorynatureoflaPeyrade’slastwords，interpolatedintotheconversationwithoutrhymeorreason。"Butreally，"sheadded，"whyshouldyoucomplainofus？Itisyouwhoarebehindhandinyourpromises。Thatcrosswhichwastohavebeengrantedwithinaweek，andthatpamphlet，whichoughttohaveappearedalongtimeago——"
　　"Thepamphletandthecrosswillbothappearingoodtime；theonewillbringtheother，"saidlaPeyrade，rising。"TellThuilliertocomeandseemeto—morrowevening，andIthinkwecanthencorrectthelastsheet。But，aboveall，don’tlistentothespitefulnessofMadamedeGodollo；Ihaveanideathatinordertomakeherselfcompletelymistressofthishouseshewantstoalienateallyouroldfriends，andalsothatsheiscastinghernetforThuillier。"
　　"Well，inpointoffact，"saidtheoldmaid，whomthepartingshotoftheinfernalbarristerhadtouchedontheever—sensitivepointofherauthority，"Imustlookintothatmatteryouspeakofthere；sheisrathercoquettish，thatlittlewoman。"
　　LaPeyradegainedasecondbenefitoutofthatspeechsoadroitlyflungout；hesawbyBrigitte’sanswertoitthatthecountesshadnotmentionedtoherthevisithehadpaidherduringtheday。Thisreticencemighthaveaseriousmeaning。
　　Fourdayslater，theprinter，thestitcher，thepaperglazierhavingfulfilledtheiroffices，Thuillierhadtheinexpressiblehappinessofbeginningontheboulevardsapromenade，whichhecontinuedthroughthePassages，andeventothePalais—Royal，pausingbeforeallthebook—shopswherehesaw，shininginblacklettersonayellowposter，thefamoustitle：——
　　TAXATIONANDTHESLIDING—SCALE
　　byJ。Thuillier，MemberoftheCouncil—GeneraloftheSeine。
　　Havingreachedthepointofpersuadinghimselfthatthecarehehadbestoweduponthecorrectionofproofsmadethemeritoftheworkhisown，hispaternalheart，likethatofMaitreCorbeau，couldnotcontainitselfforjoy。Weoughttoaddthatheheldinverylowesteemthosebooksellerswhodidnotannouncethesaleofthenewwork，destinedtobecome，ashebelieved，aEuropeanevent。Withoutactuallydecidingthemannerinwhichhewouldpunishtheirindifference，heneverthelessmadealistoftheserebelliouspersons，andwishedthemasmuchevilasiftheyhadofferedhimapersonalaffront。
　　Thenextdayhespentadelightfulmorninginwritingacertainnumberofletters，sendingthepublicationtofriends，andputtingintopapercoverssomefiftycopies，towhichthesacramentalphrase，"Fromtheauthor，"impartedtohiseyesaninestimablevalue。
　　Butthethirddayofthesalebroughtaslightdiminutionofhishappiness。Hehadchosenforhiseditorayoungman，doingbusinessatabreakneckpace，whohadlatelyestablishedhimselfinthePassagedesPanoramas，wherehewaspayingaruinousrent。HewasthenephewofBarbetthepublisher，whomBrigittehadhadasatenantintherueSaint—Dominiqued’Enfer。ThisBarbetjuniorwasayouthwhoflinchedatnothing；andwhenhewaspresentedtoThuillierbyhisuncle，hepledgedhimself，providedhewasnotshackledinhisadvertising，toselloffthefirsteditionandprintasecondwithinaweek。
　　Now，Thuillierhadspentaboutfifteenhundredfrancshimselfoncostsofpublication，such，forinstance，ascopiessentingreatprofusiontothenewspapers；butatthecloseofthethirddaySEVENcopiesonlyhadbeensold，andthreeofthoseoncredit。Itmightbebelievedthatinrevealingtothehorror—strickenThuillierthispaltryresulttheyoungpublisherwouldhavelostatleastsomethingofhisassurance。
　　Onthecontrary，thisGuzmanofthebook—tradehastenedtosay：——
　　"Iamdelightedatwhathashappened。Ifwehadsoldahundredcopiesitwouldtroublemefarmorethanthefifteenhundrednowonourhands；that’swhatIcallhangingfire；whereasthisinsignificantsaleonlyprovesthattheeditionwillgoofflikearocket。"
　　"Butwhen？"askedThuillier，whothoughtthisviewparadoxical。
　　"Parbleu！"saidBarbet，"whenwegetnoticesinthenewspapers。
　　Newspapernoticesareonlyusefultoarouseattention。’Dearme！’saysthepublic，’there’sapublicationthatmustbeinteresting。’Thetitleisgood，——’TaxationandtheSliding—Scale，’——butIfindthatthemorepiquantatitleis，themorebuyersdistrustit，theyhavebeentakeninsooften；theywaitforthenotices。Ontheotherhand，forbooksthataredestinedtohaveonlyalimitedsale，ahundredready—
　　madepurchaserswillcomeinatonce，butafterthat，good—byetothem；wedon’tplaceanothercopy。"
　　"Thenyoudon’tthink，"saidThuillier，"thatthesaleishopeless？"
　　"Onthecontrary，Ithinkitisonthebesttrack。Whenthe’Debats，’
　　the’Constitutionnel，’the’Siecle，’andthe’Presse’havereviewedit，especiallyifthe’Debats’maulsit（theyareministerial，youknow），itwon’tbeaweekbeforethewholeeditionissnappedup。"
　　"Yousaythateasilyenough，"repliedThuillier；"buthowarewetogetholdofthosegentlemenofthepress？"
　　"Ah！I’lltakecareofthat，"saidBarbet。"Iamonthebestoftermswiththemanagingeditors；theysaythedevilisinme，andthatI
　　remindthemofLadvocatinhisbestdays。"
　　"Butthen，mydearfellow，yououghttohaveseentothisearlier。"
　　"Ah！excuseme，papaThuillier；there’sonlyonewayofseeingtothejournalists；butasyougrumbledaboutthefifteenhundredfrancsfortheadvertisements，Ididnotventuretoproposetoyouanotherextraexpense。"
　　"Whatexpense？"askedThuillier，anxiously。
　　"Whenyouwerenominatedtothemunicipalcouncil，wherewastheplanmooted？"askedthepublisher。
　　"Parbleu！inmyownhouse，"repliedThuillier。
　　"Yes，ofcourse，inyourownhouse，butatadinner，followedbyaball，andtheballitselfcrownedbyasupper。Well，mydearmaster，therearenotwowaystodothisbusiness；Boileausays：——
　　"’Allisdonethroughthepalate，andnotthroughthemind；
　　Anditisbyourdinnerswegovernmankind。’"
　　"ThenyouthinkIoughttogiveadinnertothosejournalists？"
　　"Yes；butnotatyourownhouse；forthesejournalists，yousee，ifwomenarepresent，getstupid；theyhavetobehavethemselves。And，besides，itisn’tdinnertheywant，butabreakfast——thatsuitsthembest。Intheeveningthesegentlemenhavetogotofirstrepresentations，andmakeuptheirpapers，nottospeakoftheirownlittleprivatedoings；whereasinthemorningstheyhavenothingtothinkabout。Asforme，itisalwaysbreakfaststhatIgive。"
　　"Butthatcostsmoney，breakfastslikethat，"saidThuillier；
　　"journalistsaregourmands。"
　　"Bah！twentyfrancsahead，withoutwine。Sayyouhavetenofthem；
　　threehundredfrancswillseeyouhandsomelythroughthewholething。
　　Infact，asamatterofeconomy，breakfastsarepreferable；foradinneryouwouldn’tgetoffunderfivehundredfrancs。"
　　"Howyoutalk，youngman！"saidThuillier。
　　"Oh，hangit！everybodyknowsitcostsdeartogetelectedtotheChamber；andallthisfavorsyournomination。"
　　"ButhowcanIinvitethosegentlemen？MustIgoandseethemmyself？"
　　"Certainlynot；sendthemyourpamphletandappointthemtomeetyouatPhilippe’sorVefour’s——they’llunderstandperfectly。"
　　"Tenguests，"saidThuillier，beginningtoenterintotheidea。"Ididnotknowthereweresomanyleadingjournals。"
　　"Therearenot，"saidthepublisher；"butwemusthavethelittledogsaswell，fortheybarkloudest。Thisbreakfastiscertaintomakeanoise，andifyoudon’taskthemthey’llthinkyoupickandchoose，andeveryoneexcludedwillbeyourenemy。"
　　"Thenyouthinkitisenoughmerelytosendtheinvitations？"
　　"Yes；I’llmakethelist，andyoucanwritethenotesandsendthemtome。I’llseethattheyaredelivered；someofthemIshalltakeinperson。"
　　"IfIweresure，"saidThuillier，undecidedly，"thatthisexpensewouldhavethedesiredeffect——"
　　"IFIWERESURE，——that’saqueerthingtosay，"saidBarbet。"Mydearmaster，thisismoneyplacedonmortgage；forit，Iwillguaranteethesaleoffifteenhundredcopies，——sayatfortysousapiece；allowingthediscounts，thatmakesthreethousandfrancs。Youseethatyourcostsandextracostsarecovered，andmorethancovered。"
　　"Well，"saidThuillier，turningtogo，"I’lltalktolaPeyradeaboutit。"
　　"Asyouplease，mydearmaster；butdecidesoon，fornothinggetsmouldysofastasabook；writehot，servehot，andbuyhot，——that’stheruleforauthors，publishers，andpublic；allisboshoutsideofit，andnogoodtotouch。"
　　WhenlaPeyradewasconsulted，hedidnotthinkinhisheartthattheremedywasheroic，buthehadnowcometofeelthebitterestanimosityagainstThuillier，sothathewaswellpleasedtoseethisnewtaxleviedonhisself—importantinexperienceandpompoussilliness。
　　AsforThuillier，themaniaforposingasapublicistandgettinghimselftalkedaboutsopossessedhimthatalthoughhemoanedoverthisfreshbleedingofhispurse，hehaddecidedonthesacrificebeforeheevenspoketolaPeyrade。Thereservedandconditionalapprovalofthelatterwas，therefore，morethanenoughtosettlehisdetermination，andthesameeveninghereturnedtoBarbetjuniorandaskedforthelistofguestswhomheoughttoinvite。
　　Barbetgailyproducedhislittlecatalogue。Insteadofthetenguestsoriginallymentioned，thereprovedtobefifteen，notcountinghimselforlaPeyrade，whomThuillierwantedtosecondhiminthisencounterwithasetofmenamongwhomhehimselffeltheshouldbealittleoutofplace。Castinghiseyesoverthelist，heexclaimed，vehemently：——
　　"Heavens！mydearfellow，herearenamesofpapersnobodyeverheardof。Where’sthe’Moralisateur，’the’LanternedeDiogene，’the’Pelican，’the’EchodelaBievre’？"
　　"You’dbetterbecarefulhowyouscornthe’EchodelaBievre，’"saidBarbet；"why，that’sthepaperofthe12tharrondissement，fromwhichyouexpecttobeelected；itspatronsarethosebigtannersoftheMouffetardquarter！"
　　"Well，letthatgo——butthe’Pelican’？"
　　"The’Pelican’？that’sapaperyou’llfindineverydentist’swaiting—
　　room；dentistsarethefirstPUFFISTSintheworld！HowmanyteethdoyousupposearedailypulledinParis？"
　　"Come，come，nonsense，"saidThuillier，whoproceededtomarkoutcertainnames，reducingthewholenumberpresenttofourteen。
　　"Ifonefallsoffweshallbethirteen，"remarkedBarbet。
　　"Pooh！"saidThuillier，thefree—thinker，"doyousupposeIgiveintothatsuperstition？"
　　Thelistbeingfinallyclosedandsettledatfourteen，Thuillierseatedhimselfatthepublisher’sdeskandwrotetheinvitations，naming，inviewoftheurgencyofthepurpose，thenextdaybutoneforthemeeting，Barbethavingassuredhimthatnojournalistwouldobjecttotheshortnessoftheinvitation。ThemeetingwasappointedatVefour’s，therestaurantparexcellenceofthebourgeoisieandallprovincials。
　　BarbetarrivedonthedaynamedbeforeThuillier，whoappearedinacravatwhichalonewasenoughtocreateastirinthesatiricalcircleinwhichhewasabouttoproducehimself。Thepublisher，onhisownauthority，hadchangedvariousarticlesonthebilloffareasselectedbyhispatron，moreespeciallydirectingthatthechampagne，orderedintruebourgeoisfashiontobeservedwiththedessert，shouldbeplacedonthetableatthebeginningofbreakfast，withseveraldishesofshrimps，anecessitywhichhadnotoccurredtotheamphitryon。
　　Thuillier，whogavealip—approvaltotheseamendments，wasfollowedbylaPeyrade；andthencamealongdelayinthearrivaloftheguests。Breakfastwasorderedateleveno’clock；ataquartertotwelvenotajournalisthadappeared。Barbet，whowasneverataloss，madetheconsolingremarkthatbreakfastsatrestaurantswerelikefunerals，where，aseveryoneknew，eleveno’clockmeantmid—day。
　　Sureenough，shortlybeforethathour，twogentlemen，withpointedbeards，exhalingastrongodoroftobacco，madetheirappearance。
　　Thuillierthankedthemeffusivelyforthe"honor"theyhaddonehim；
　　afterwhichcameanotherlongperiodofwaiting，ofwhichweshallnotrelatethetortures。Atoneo’clocktheassembledcontingentcomprisedfiveoftheinvitedguests，BarbetandlaPeyradenotincluded。Itisscarcelynecessarytosaythatnoneoftheself—respectingjournalistsofthebetterpapershadtakenanynoticeoftheabsurdinvitation。
　　Breakfastnowhadtobeservedtothisreducednumber。AfewpolitephrasesthatreachedThuillier’searsaboutthe"immense"interestofhispublication，failedtoblindhimtothebitternessofhisdiscomfiture；andwithoutthegaietyofthepublisher，whohadtakeninhandthereinshispatron，gloomyasHippolytusontheroadtoMycenae，letfall，nothingcouldhavesurpassedtheglumandglacialcoldnessofthemeeting。
　　Aftertheoysterswereremoved，thechampagneandchabliswhichhadwashedthemdownhadbegun，nevertheless，toraisethethermometer，when，rushingintotheroomwherethebanquetwastakingplace，ayoungmaninacapconveyedtoThuillieramostunexpectedandcrushingblow。
　　"Master，"saidthenew—comertoBarbet（hewasaclerkinthebookseller’sshop），"wearedonefor！Thepolicehavemadearaiduponus；acommissaryandtwomenhavecometoseizemonsieur’spamphlet。
　　Here’sapapertheyhavegivenmeforyou。"
　　"Lookatthat，"saidBarbet，handingthedocumenttolaPeyrade，hiscustomaryassurancebeginningtoforsakehim。
　　"Asummonstoappearatoncebeforethecourtofassizes，"saidlaPeyrade，afterreadingafewlinesofthesheriff’sscrawl。
　　Thuillierhadturnedaspaleasdeath。
　　"Didn’tyoufulfilallthenecessaryformalities？"hesaidtoBarbet，inachokingvoice。
　　"Thisisnotamatterofformalities，"saidlaPeyrade，"itisaseizureforwhatiscalledpressmisdemeanor，excitingcontemptandhatredofthegovernment；youprobablyhavethesamesortofcomplimentawaitingyouathome，mypoorThuillier。"
　　"Thenitistreachery！"criedThuillier，losinghisheadcompletely。
　　"Hangit，mydearfellow！youknowverywellwhatyouputinyourpamphlet；formypart，Idon’tseeanythingworthwhippingacatfor。"
　　"There’ssomemisunderstanding，"saidBarbet，recoveringcourage；"itwillallbeexplained，andtheresultwillbeafinecauseofcomplaint——won’tit，messieurs？"
　　"Waiter，pensandink！"criedoneofthejournaliststhusappealedto。
　　"Nonsense！you’llhavetimetowriteyourarticlelater，"saidanotherofthebrotherhood；"whathasabombshelltodowiththis’filetsaute’？"
　　That，ofcourse，wasaparodyonthefamousspeechofCharlesXII。，KingofSweden，whenashotinterruptedhimwhiledictatingtoasecretary。
　　"Messieurs，"saidThuillier，rising，"Iamsureyouwillexcusemeforleavingyou。If，asMonsieurBarbetthinks，thereissomemisunderstanding，itoughttobeexplainedatonce；Imusttherefore，withyourpermission，gotothepolicecourt。LaPeyrade，"headdedinasignificanttone，"youwillnotrefuse，Ipresume，toaccompanyme。
　　Andyou，mydearpublisher，youwoulddowelltocometoo。"
　　"No，faith！"saidBarbet，"whenIbreakfast，Ibreakfast；ifthepolicehavecommittedablunder，somuchtheworseforthem。"
　　"Butsupposethematterisserious？"criedThuillier，ingreatagitation。
　　"Well，Ishouldsay，whatisperfectlytrue，thatIhadneverreadalineofyourpamphlet。Onethingisveryannoying；thosedamnedjurieshatebeards，andImustcutoffmineifI’mcompelledtoappearincourt。"
　　"Come，mydearamphitryon，sitdownagain，"saidtheeditorofthe"EchodelaBievre，""we’llstandbyyou；I’vealreadywrittenanarticleinmyheadwhichwillstirupallthetannersinParis；and，letmetellyou，thathonorablecorporationisapower。"
　　"No，monsieur，"repliedThuillier，"no；amanlikemecannotrestanhourundersuchanaccusationasthis。Continueyourbreakfastwithoutus；Ihopesoontoseeyouagain。LaPeyrade，areyoucoming？"
　　"He’scharming，isn’the？"saidBarbet，whenThuillierandhiscounselhadlefttheroom。"Toaskmetoleaveabreakfastaftertheoysters，andgoandtalkwiththepolice！Come，messieurs，closeuptheranks，"
　　headded，gaily。
　　"Tiens！"saidoneofthehungryjournalists，whohadcasthiseyesintothegardenofthePalais—Royal，onwhichthedining—roomoftherestaurantopened，"there’sBarbanchugoingby；supposeIcallhimin？"
　　"Yes，certainly，"saidBarbetjunior，"havehimup。"
　　"Barbanchu！Barbanchu！"calledoutthejournalist。
　　Barbanchu，hishatbeingoverhiseyes，wassometimeindiscoveringthecloudabovehimwhencethevoiceproceeded。
　　"Here，uphere！"calledthevoice，whichseemedtoBarbanchucelestialwhenhesawhimselfhailedbyamanwithaglassofchampagneinhishand。Then，asheseemedtohesitate，thepartyabovecalledoutinchorus：——
　　"Comeup！comeup！THERE’SFATTOBEHAD！"
　　WhenThuillierlefttheofficeofthepublicprosecutorhecouldnolongerhaveanyillusions。Thecaseagainsthimwasserious，andthesternmannerinwhichhehadbeenreceivedmadehimseethatwhenthetrialcameuphewouldbetreatedwithoutmercy。Then，asalwayshappensamongaccomplicesafterthenon—successofanaffairtheyhavedoneincommon，heturneduponlaPeyradeinthesharpestmanner：LaPeyradehadpaidnoattentiontowhathewrote；hehadgivenfullswingtohisstupidSaint—Simonianideas；HEdidn’tcarefortheconsequences；itwasnotHEwhowouldhavetopaythefineandgotoprison！Then，whenlaPeyradeansweredthatthematterdidnotlooktohimserious，andheexpectedtogetaverdictofacquittalwithoutdifficulty，Thuillierburstforthuponhim，vehemently：——