"Mercifullyherbookshavecomfortedher。Sheisrestingamongthemnow。Madameispossessedofamagnificentlibrary,sir,encyclopaedicinitsscopeandcosmopolitaninitspointofview。Initarerepresentedeveryageandeveryracesincethedawnofletters;
thousandsuponthousandsofauthors,sir,RabelaisandDeanFarrar,LambandtheHindoos,MettlelinkandthepithofthegreatphilosopherssuchasJohnOliverHobbes,Locke,HumeandEarlSpencer;thebitingsarcasmofHiny,thepathosofPeps,theoratoricalmaster—strokesofsuchmenasGladstone,DemosthenesandKeirHardie;theromanceofKipling,sir,ofBretHarteandDantyRossini;thepoetryofKempisaBrowningandofElizabethThomasBarrett——all,allarethereboundinPersiancalf。Amongthesesheseeksforsolace。Totheseshefliesinhoursofanguish。"
"Doessheindeed?"saidtheProphet,feelingthoroughlyoverwhelmed。
"Shedesiresmetotakeyoutoheratonce,sir,theretoconferand"——
heloweredhisvoiceandtrembledvisibly——"toarrangemeasuresfortheprotectionofmylife。"
TheProphetfoundhimselfwishingthathehadbeenlessprecipitateincovertlyalludingtoSirTiglath’slongdesireofassaultandbattery,butbeforehehadtimetowishanythingformorethanhalfaminute,Mr。Sagittariushadguidedhimceremoniouslyacrossthehallandwasturningthehandleofadoorthatwasdecoratedwithblackandscarletpaint。
"Here,sir,"hewhispered,"youwillfindMadamesurroundedbytheauthorswhomsheloves,bytheirportraits,theirbiographiesandtheirwritings。Hereshecommuneswiththegreatphilosophers,sir,thepoets,thehistoriansandthehumouristsoftheentireworld,fromtheearliestdaysdowntothisverymoment——inPersiancalf,sir。"
HegazedawfullyattheProphet,andgentlyopenedthedoorofthistempleoftheintellect。
TheProphetexpectedtofindhimselfusheredintoagiganticchamber,linedfromfloortoceilingwithshelvesthatgroanedbeneaththeirburdenoftheliteratureofgenius。Indeedhehad,infancy,beheldeventhechairsandcouchescoveredwithstacksofvolumes,theveryfloorlitteredwiththechoicestproductionsofthebrainsofthedeadandliving。Hissurprisewas,therefore,verygreatwhen,onpassingthroughthedoor,hebeheldMadameSagittariusreposingatfulllengthuponamaroonsofainasmallapartment,whosebarewalls,wereentirelyinnocentofbook—shelves。Indeedtheonlythingofthesortwhichwasvisiblewasadwarfrevolvingbookcasewhichstoodbesidethesofa,andcontainedsometwentyvolumesbound,asMr。Sagittariushadstated,inPersiancalf,eachofthesevolumesbeingnumberedandadornedwithalabelonwhichwasprintedinlettersofgold,"TheLibraryofFamousLiterature:EditedbyDr。Carter。TastyTit—bitsfromallTimes。"
"Madame,sir,inherlibrary,"whisperedMr。Sagittariusbythedoor。
"Sheisabsorbed,sir,anddoesnotnoticeus。"
IntruthMadameSagittariusdidappeartobeabsorbedinthought,orsomethingelse,forhereyeswereclosed,hermouthwasopen,andasoundofregularbreathingfilledthelittleroom。
"Sheisthinkingoutsomeproblem,sir,"continuedMr。Sagittarius。
"Sheiscommuningwiththemightydead。Sophronia,mylove,Sophronia,Capricornushasbroughtthegentlemanaccordingtoyourorders。Sophy!
Sophy!"
Hisfinalutterances,whichweresomewhatstridentcausedMadameSagittariustocomeawayfromhercommunionwiththemightydeadwithaloudejaculationofthenatureofasnortcombinedwithahissingwhistle,tokickupherindoorkidbootsintotheair,turnuponherrightelbow,andpresentacountenancemarkedwithpatchesofredandwhite,andapairofgoggling,andyethazy,eyestotheintrudersuponherintellectualexertions。
"Mr。Vivianhascome,Sophronia,accordingtoyourdirections。"
Madameutteredasecondsnort,broughtherfeettothefloor,arrangedherfaceinadignifiedexpressionwithonefairhand,breathedheavily,andfinallybowedtotheProphetwithmajesticreserveandremarked,withtheprofessionalclick,——
"Iwasimmersedinthoughtanddidnotperceiveyourentrance。/Mensinvictusmanetur/。Beseated,Ibeg。"
Herecertainveryelaboratecontortionsandswellingsofherinterestingcountenancesuggestedthatshewasrepressingagood—sizedyawn,andshewasobligedtorearrangeherfeatureswithbothhandsbeforeshecouldcontinue。
"Thoughtconquersmatter,asPlauto——IshouldsayasPlatusveryrightlyobesrved。"
"Quiteso,"assentedtheProphet,tryingtoliveuptothelibrary,butscarcelysucceeding。
"EveninthedaysofthegreatJuvenile,"proceededMadame,"towhosesatiresIowemuch"——hereshelaidalovinghanduponVol。2ofthe"LibraryofFamousLiterature。"——"LongerethedayswhenLordLyttonandhisCaxtonsintroducedustotheblessingsoftheprintingpressthereweredoubtlessladieswho,likemyself,couldforgetthetreacheryandtheliesofmeninsilentcommunionwiththebrainsofthedeparted。FarbettertobeMilton’s’IlPenserosero’thanLordByron’s’L’Allegra!’"
Tothispronounciamento,whichwasinterruptedseveraltimesbymorealarmingcontortionsofthebrain—worker’sface,theProphetrepliedwithavagueaffirmative,whileMr。Sagittariuswhispered,——
"Herwholeknowledge,sir,comesstraightfromthere"——pointingtowardsthedwarfbookcase。"Shebroughtitontheinstalmentsystem。Dr。
Carterhasmadeherwhatsheis!Thatman,sir,deservestobecanonised。Eightguineasandahalf,sir,andsucharesult!"
"Sucharesult!"theProphetwhisperedback。
BythistimeMadameSagittariushadapparentlyceasedtocommunewiththedead,forherstrikingfaceassumedamorenormalexpressionoffemininebitternessassherealisedwhowasbeforeher,andsheexclaimedsharply,——
"Oh,soyou’vecomeatlast,Mr。Vivian!Andpraywhathaveyoutosay?
Whatabouttherashes?AndwhatisthisdangerthatthreatensMr。
Sagittarius?"
"We’dbettertakethedangerfirst,mydear,"saidMr。Sagittarius,withgraveanxiety。
"Verywell。Notthatitshouldbethemostimportanttoonewhowearsthe/togavirilibus/!"
"True,mylove。Still,totakeitfirstwillcleartheground,Ithink,andsetmemoreatease。Well,sir?"
Thusadjured,theProphetresolvedtomakeacleanbreastofSirTiglath’sdeclarations,andhethereforereplied,——
"IthoughtitonlyrighttowiretoyouasIdid,havinglearntthatthereisinLondonagentleman,aneminentman,whohasforfive—and—
fortyyearsbeenseekingforMalkielwiththeavowedintentionof——
of——"
"Ohwhat,sir,ofwhat?"saidMr。Sagittariuswithtremblinglips。
"Ofdoinghimviolence,"repliedtheProphet,impressively。
"Whatisthegent’sname?"saidMr。Sagittarius,ingreatagitation。
"Hisname!/Nomenvolens/!"addedMadame。
"That,"saidtheProphet,"Iprefernottosayatpresent。"
"Butwhyshouldhedesireto——?"
"Becauseyouareaprophet。"
"There,Jupiter!"criedMadame,withflushedspitefulness。"WhathaveI
alwayssaid!Allprophetsarewhattheycalloutsiders——/horsd’oeuvres/,neithermorenorless。"
"Iknow,mylove,Iknow。Buthowshouldthisgentrecognisemeforaprophet?I’msuremydress,mymanner,arethoseofanoutsidebroker,asIhaveoftentoldyou,Sophy。How——"
"Thegentlemanhasnotyetrecognisedyou,"saidtheProphet。"AtthemomenthebelievesyoutobeanAmericansyndicate。"
"Thankmercy!"ejaculatedMr。Sagittarius。
"Butonecannevertell,"addedtheProphet。"Hemightfindout。"
"Nonsense!"criedMadameatthisjuncture。"WemightquitewellhavegonetothesquareyesterdayasIalwayssuspected。Butyouaresotimid,Jupiter。/TimeoDan——Dan/——well,/Dan/somethingorother,asVirgilsotrulysays。"
"Cautious,Sophronia,onlycautious,foryourandthechildren’ssakes!"
"Icallamanwho’safraidevenwhenhe’spassingeverywhereasanAmericansyndicateacowardlycustard,"rejoinedMadame,whoappearedtobesufferingunderthatpeculiarformofflushedirritabilitywhichisapttofollowonheavythought,indulgedintoexcessinarecumbentpositionduringthedaytime。"There,that’ssettled。Sonowletusgettobusiness。Kindlyhandmeyourprophecyoflastnight,Mr。Vivian。"
TheProphetdrewfromabreastpocketasheetortwoofnotepaper,onwhichhehaddotteddown,inpropheticform,theeventsofthenightbefore。Madamereceiveditandcontinued,——
"Beforeperusingthisreport,Mr。Vivian,Ishouldwishtobemadeacquaintedwiththoseparticulars。"
"Whichones?"saidtheProphet。
"Ofyourgrandmother’scareer。"
"Oh,I——"
"Letustaketheminorder,please,andproceed/parripasso/。Whenwastheoldladyremovedfromthebottle?"
"Never,"repliedtheProphet,firmly。"Never。"
AnexpressionofincredulousamazementdecoratedtheobstreperousfeaturesofMadame。
"Doyoumeantotellme,Mr。Vivian,thatshesucksitstill?"sheinquired。
"ImeanwhatIsay,thatshehasneverbeenremovedfromit,"returnedtheProphet,withenergy。
"Well,sir,shemustbeverypartialtomilkandIndianrubber,verypartialindeed!"saidMr。Sagittarius。"Goon,mydarling。"
"Herfirsttooth,Mr。Vivian——whendidshecutit?"
"Shehasnoidea。"
Madamebegantolookdecidedlygrim。
"Dateofshort—coating?"sherappedout。
"Therewasnodate。Sheneverworeashort—coat。"
"Doyoudesiremetobelieve,Mr。Vivian,thattheoldladyhasbeengoingaboutinlongclotheseversinceshewasborn?"inquiredMadame,withincreduloussarcasm。
"MostcertainlyIdo,"repliedtheProphet。
"Thenhowdoesshegetalong,pray?Come!Come!"
"Shehasalwayswornlongclothes,"criedtheProphet,boldlystandingupforhisbelovedrelative,"andalwayswill。Youcantakethatfromme,MadameSagittarius。Iknowmygrandmother,andIamreadytopledgemyhonourtoit。"
"Oh,verywell。Shemustbeaveryremarkablelady。That’sallIcansay。Whendidsheputherhairup?"
"Never。Shehasneverputitup。"
"Shehasneverputherhairup!"
"No,never。"
"Youmeantosaythatyourgrandmothergoesaboutinlongclotheswithherhairdowninthecentraldistricts?"criedMadameinblankamazement。
"Shehasneverputherhairup,"answeredtheProphet,withalmostobstinatedetermination。
"Oh,well——ifsheprefers!ButIwonderwhatthepoliceareabout!"
retortedMadame。"Andnowtherashes?"
"Therearenone。"
ButatthisMadame’stemper——alreadysomewhatupsetbyherprolongedcommunionwiththemightydead——showedsymptomsofgivingwayaltogether。
"Rubbish,Mr。Vivian!"shesaid,clickingloudlyandpassingwithanalmostupheavingjerktoherupperregister!"I’mamotherandwasonceachild。Rubbish!Imustinsistuponknowingthenumberoftherashes。"
"Iassureyoutherearenone。"
"D’youwishmetobelievethattheoldladyhasgoneaboutallherlifeintheBerkeleySquareinlongclothesandherhairdown,withherlipstothebottleandneverhadarash?Doyouwishmetobelievethat,Mr。
Vivian?"
"Yes,sir,doyouwishMadame,aladyofdeepeducation,sir,tobelievethat?"criedMr。Sagittarius。
"IcanonlyadheretowhatIhavesaid,"answeredtheProphet。"Mygrandmotherhasneverbeenremovedfromthebottle,hasneverwornashortcoat,hasneverputherhairupandhasneverhadanepidemicinBerkeleySquare。"
"ThenallIcansayisthatshe’sanunnaturaloldlady,"criedMadame,withobvioustemper,tossingherheadandkickingoutthekidboots,asifseizedwiththesuddendesiretousethemuponahumanfootball。
"Andthere’snotmanylikeher。"
"Thereisnoonelikeher,nooneatall,"saidtheProphetwithfervour。
"SoIshouldsuppose,"criedMadame,forgettingtheotherquestionsastothedayofmarriage,etc。,inthevexationofthemoment。"ShemustcertainlybethebirdofwhomPhoenixwrotethatrosefromashesinthedaysoftheclassics。/Rarumavis/indeed!Eh,Jupiter?"
"Veryrarum,mydear,veryindeed!"respondedherhusband,withimitativesarcasm。"Anavisindeed,notadoubtofit。"
"DeQueechyshouldhaveknownher,"continuedMadame。"Healwayslovedeverythingoutofthecommon。Well,andnowfortheprophecy。Whatisallthis,Mr。Vivian?"
"Theresultoflastnight’sobservation,"saidtheProphet。
"Doyoucallthatacycloidalcurve?"askedMadame,withacontraltolaughthatshookthelibrary。"Look,Jupiter!"
Mr。Sagittariusglancedoverhiswife’sheavingshoulder。
"Verypoor,mydear,veryirregularindeed。"
"It’sthebestIcoulddo,"saidtheProphet,stillpolitely。
"Idaresay,"repliedMr。Sagittarius。"Idaresay。Where’syourstar—
map?"
"I’mafraidIdon’tknow,"answeredtheProphet。"Ileftitinthepomade。"
"Thepomade!"
"Yes,thebutler’sownspecialpomade,anditseemstohavedisappeared。"
"Verycareless,verycarelessindeed。Let’ssee——prophecyfirst,thenhowarrivedat。’Grandmotherapparentlythreatenedwithsomedangeratnightinimmediatefuture。Greatturmoilinthehouseduringdarkhours。’H’m!’Somestranger,orstrangers,comingintoherlifeandcausinggreattroubleandconfusion,almostresultingindespair,andperhapsactuallyinducingillness。’H’m!H’m!Wedidn’tarriveatanyofthisbyourobservations,didwe,Sophronia?"
"Decidedlynot,"snappedMadame,haughtily。
"Andnowlet’sseehowarrivedat。H’m!H’m!Grandmother——ingressofCrab——conjunctionofScorpiowithSerpens——moonineleventhhouse。Yes,that’sso。JupiterintrinewithSaturn——What’sthis?’Crabdressedimpliesdanger——undressedCrabmuchsafer——attemptedinterventionfailure——she’sinanicestatenow——ittriedtokeepherfromit,butshewasdrawnrighttoit。’Righttowhat?"
"TheCrab?"
"Ofcourseshewasdrawntoit。ShedependsontheCrabthesenights。
Butwhatdoestherestmean?"
"TheCrabwasdressed。"
"Dressed——whatin?"
"Idon’tknow,"saidtheProphet。"Itdidn抰tellme。"
Mr。SagittariusandMadameexchangedglances。
"Explainyourself,Mr。Vivian,Ibeg,"criedMadameinasomewhatexcitedmanner。"HowcouldtheCrabbedressed?"
"Ihavewondered,"saidtheProphet,gazingatthecouplebeforehimwithshiningeyes。"Butitwasdressedlastnight,andthatmadeitexceptionallydangerousinsomeway。Somethingseemedtotellmeso。
Somethingdidtellmeso。"
"Whattoldyou?"inquiredMadame,withmoreexcitementandacertainrespectwhichhadbeenquiteabsentfromhermannerbefore。
"Somethingthatcameinthenight。Idon’tknowwhatitwas。Lightflashedfromit。"
"Itsoundslikeasortofcomet,mydarling,"saidMr。Sagittarius,considerablyperturbed。"Wedidn’tobservethattheCrabwasspeciallydressed,didwe?"
"Ithadnothingonatallwhenwesawit,"saidMadamewithgrowingagitation。"Butwhateverwasthiscometthatflashedlight?That’swhatIwanttogetat。"
"ItwasadarkthingthattoldmetheCrabwasdressed,thatmygrandmotherhadbeenwithitandthatitsinfluencewasinimicaltoher。"
"Adarkthing!That’snotacomet!"saidMr。Sagittarius。
"Itvanishedwithaflashoflightintothesquare。"
"Atwhattimedidyouobserveit,sir?"askedMr。Sagittarius,whileMadameleanedforward,gazingwithgogglingeyesattheProphet。
"Atexactlyhalf—pastone。"
"Diditstaylong?"
"Afewminutesonly——butitmadeanimpressionuponmethatIcanneverforget。"
IthadapparentlyalsomadeaverygreatimpressionuponMr。andMadameSagittarius,whoremainedforsomesecondsstaringfixedlyattheProphetwithoututteringaword。AtlastMr。SagittariusturnedtoMadameandsaidinavoicethatshookwithseriousness,——
"Canitbe,Sophronia,thatprophetsoughttoliveinthecentraldistricts?CanitreallybethatthenearertheyaretotheCircus,andeventotheStores——"
"/Obeatusilla/!"interjectedMadameuponthepinionsofasigh。
"Yes,Sophronia,theStores,themoreclearlyistheknowledgeofthefuturevouchsafedtothem?Ifitshouldprovetobeso!"
MadamestaredagainupontheProphetwithafixityandstrainedinquirywhichmadehimshiftinhisseat。
"Ifitshould!"sherepeated,uponthelowestnoteofherlowerregister,whichsounded,atthatsolemnmoment,likethekeynoteofadreamer。Then,withasuddenchangeofmanner,shecriedsharply,——
"Jupiter,youmustaccompanythisgentlemanbacktothesquareto—day。"
TheProphetstarted。SodidMr。Sagittarius。
"But——"theycriedsimultaneously。
"Andyoumustsharehisnightwatch。"
"But,mydarling——"
"OrIwill,"criedMadame。"Whichisittobe?"
"Mr。Sagittarius!"exclaimedtheProphet。
"Verywell,"saidMadame。"Letminebethewearytasktowaitandwatchathome。/Fatafeminus/。ThemysteryofthedressedCrabmustbeunveiled。Shouldthismysteriousvisitantagainvouchsafeapropheticmessage,apracticalprophetmustbeathandtoreceiveit。Jupiter,thisgentlemanisnotpractical。Thisreport"——shestruckthepaperonwhichtheProphethaddotteddownhisnotes——"isbadlywritten。ThecycloidalcurvemighthavebeenmadebyaBoardSchoolchild。Thedeductionsdrawn——/deductioadabsurdibus/——revealnotalent,noneoftheprophetic/feudejoie/atall。ButthismysteryofthedressedCrabmaymeanmuch。Jupiter,youwillaccompanythisgentlemanbacktoLondonandyouwillassisthimpracticallyatthetelescopeto—night。"
"Verywell,mylove。Iwillriskthepersonaldanger,foryourandthechildren’s——"
"But——butreally——"begantheProphet。"Iamverysorry,but——"
"Madamehasspoken,sir,"saidMr。Sagittarius,verysolemnly。
"Iknowshehas。But——yes,Iknowtherearenobutsinyourdictionary,Madame,Iknowtherearen’t——butIhaveanengagementto—nightthatI
havesworn——"
"Whatengagement,sir?"saidMr。Sagittarius,sternly。"Youhavesworntous。Youmustknowthat。"
"Ihavesworntoalmosteveryone,"criedthedistractedProphet。"Butthisswear——Imeanthisoathmustbekeptbeforeyours。"
"Beforeours,sir?"
"Itcomesonbeforeeleven。Ikeepmyoathtoyouafterit。Imanagethetwo,don’tyousee?"
"Hewillseethatyoumanagethetwo,Mr。Vivian,Icanassureyou,"
saidMadame,viciously。"Won’tyou,Jupiter?"
"Certainly,mydear。Whatistheoath,sir,thatyouplacebeforeours?"
"AnoathtoMissMinerva,"returnedtheProphet,beginningtofeelreckless,firmintheconvictionthatitwashenceforthhisdestinytobetheverysportofFate。
"Ha!"criedMr。Sagittarius。"Thedoublelife!"
"WhoisMissMinerva,pray?"saidMadame,shootingaverypenetratingglanceuponherhusband。
"Yourhusbandcantellyouthat,"repliedtheProphet,bynomeanswithoutguile。
"Jupiter,"criedMadame,"whatisthemeaningofthis?Whoisthisperson?"
Mr。Sagittariuslookedexceedinglyuncomfortable。
"Mydear,"hebegan,"sheisayoungfe——thatis,ayoungwo——Ishouldsay——"
"Afe!Awo!Explainyourself,Jupiter!"
"Sheisalady,mylove。"
"Alady!DoIknowher?"
"Ibelievenot,mydear。"
"Anddoyou?"
"No,mydarling。Thatis——thatis——"
"Yes,Isuppose!"saidMadame,withaveryviolentclick。
"Icanhardlysay,Sophronia,that,Ican’tindeed。Ihavemether,byaccident,quitebyaccidentIassureyou,onceortwice。"
"Where?"
"AtJellybrand’s。ShegoestheretofetchlettersonthesamedayasI
do。"
Madame’sveryintellectualbrowwasover—cloudedwithstorm。SheturnedupontheProphet。
"Andwhatofthisperson,Mr。Vivian?"shecried。"Whatofherandthisoath?"
TheProphet,whowassecretlyverydelightedwiththediversionhehadsocleverlycreated,hastenedtoreply,——
"Ihavepromisedmostsolemnlytomeetherto—nightatahouseintheZoologicalGardens!"
"AhouseintheZoologicalGardens!"
"ImeanattheZoologicalHouse,theresidenceofMrs。VaneBridgeman,whois——"
But,atthispointinhisexplanation,theProphetwasinterruptedbybothhishearers。
"TheJellybrandone!"criedMr。Sagittarius。
"Theprophets’patron!"vociferatedMadame。
CHAPTERXVI
THEPROPHETRETURNSFROMTHEMOUSEWITHTWOOLDANDVALUEDFRIENDS
AttheseexclamationstheProphetstartedinsomesurprise。
"Youknowthislady?"heasked。
"Byrepute,sir,"repliedMr。Sagittarius。
"Whodoesnot?"criedMadame。"Shebuiltthe’Prophets’Rest’atBirchington。"
"AndtheMediums’AlmshousesatSunnington。"
"Andthe’Palmists’Retreat’atMillabyBay。"
"Andthe——"
"Iseeyouknowallabouther,"interposedtheProphet。"Well,sheisgivingareceptionto—nightatZoologicalHouseandIhavesworntobethere。ButIshallgethomebyeleven。Youwillunderstand,however,thatIcannothavethepleasureofentertainingMr。Sagittariusduringtheeveningundermyownroof。Iregretthisextremely,butyouseeitisunavoidable。"
TotheProphet’sgreatsurprisethislucidexplanationwasreceivedbyhishearerswithastrangesilenceandacombinedmeditative,andevenmoony,staringwhichwastohiminexplicable。BothMadameandMr。
Sagittariusseemedsuddenlyimmersedincontemplation。Theybegan,hethought,tolooklikeBuddhists,orlikethosedevotedpersonswho,inthetimesofthedesertmonks,remainedforlongperiodsposeduponpillowsinsandywastesmusinguponEternity。Atfirst,ashemettheirfixedeyes,hefanciedthattheywere,perhaps,fallingintoatrance,butpresentlytheconvictionseizedhimthattheymustbe,onthecontrary,busilythinkingoutsomeproblem。Hehopedferventlythathedidnotformpartofit。AtlengththequiveringsilencewasbrokenbyMr。Sagittarius。
"ImightaccompanyyoutoMrs。Bridgeman’s,sir,"hesaidtotheProphet。"MightInot,Sophronia?"
"Oh,but——"begantheProphet,veryhastily。
"Theladyhasfrequentlypressedmetoacceptofherhospitality。"
"Indeed!"