"FrederickSmith!"
  "Here,Mr。Sagittarius!"criedtheyounglibrarian,appearingwithsuspiciouscelerityupontheparlourthreshold。
  "Drawthecorkofthesecondbottle,FrederickSmith,"saidMalkiel,impressively。"Thisgentlemanisabouttotakethepledge"——onhearingthisironicparadoxtheProphetstoodup,verymuchintheattitudeformerlyassumedbyMalkielwhenabouttododgeinthelibrary——"thatI
  shallputtohim,"concludedMalkiel,alsostandingup,andassumingthelibrarypostureoftheProphet。
  IndeedthesituationofthelibraryseemedabouttobeaccuratelyreversedintheparlourofJellybrand’s。
  Theyounglibrarianassistedthecorktoemergephlegmaticallyfromtheneckofthesecondbottleofchampagne,mechanicallysmackinghislipsthewhile。
  "Nowpour,andleaveus,FrederickSmith。"
  Theyounglibrarianhelpedthefatigued—lookingwineintothetwoglasses,whereitlayasifthoroughlyexhaustedbytheeffortofgettingthere,andthenlanguidlylefttheparlour,turninghisbulgingheadoverhisshouldertoindulgeinapathetic/oeillade/erehevanished。
  TheProphetwatchedhimgo。
  "Closethedoor,FrederickSmith,"criedMalkiel,inameaningmanner。
  TheProphetblushedaguiltyred,andtheyounglibrarianobeyedwithabang。
  "Andnow,sir,Imustrequestyoutotakeasolemnpledgeinthisvintage,"saidMalkiel,placingoneofthetumblersintheProphet’stremblinghand。
  "Really,"saidtheProphet,"Iamnotatallthirsty。"
  "Whyshouldyoube,sir?Whathasthatgottodowithit?"retortedMalkiel。"Liftyourglass,sir。"
  TheProphetobeyed。
  "Andnowtakethispledge——that,tillthelastday——"
  "Whatday?"
  "Thelastday,sir,youwillrevealtonolivingpersonthatthereissuchanindividualasMalkiel,thatyouhaveevermethim,whoheis,orwhoMadameandfamilyare,unlessIgivetheword。Youhavesurprisedmysecret。Youhaveforcedyourselfuponme。Youowemethis。
  Drink!"
  MechanicallytheProphetdrank。
  "Swear!"
  Mechanically——indeedalmostlikeaBritishworkingman——theProphetswore。
  Malkieldrainedhistumbler,anddrewonthedogskinglovewhich,intheagitationofapreviousmoment,hehadthrownaside。
  "Ihaveyourcard,sir,hereismine。IshallnowtakethetraintotheRiverMouse,onwhosebanksIshallconferatoncewithMadame。TillI
  havedonethisIcannottellyouwhatformthetestsIshallhavetoapplytoyouwilltake。WhenIhavedoneityouwillhearfromme。Yourservant,sir。"
  Hebowedmajestically,andwasturningtowardsthedoorwhenitwashastilyopenedandaladyappearedfranticallyintheaperture。
  CHAPTERV
  MALKIELTHESECONDPOISONSMISSMINERVA
  "MissMinerva!"exclaimedMalkieltheSecond。
  "LadyEnid!"criedtheProphet,atthesamemoment。
  "Youcan’tgointhere,MissPartridge!"ejaculatedtheyounglibrarian,simultaneously,fromthefurtherroom。
  Thelady,atallgirloftwenty—two,withgreyeyes,darksmoothhair,andaveryagreeable,thoughslightlyScottish,mouth,begantobehaveratherlikeastagatbay。Shepanted,andlookedwildlyroundasifmeditatinghow,andinwhatdirection,shecouldbestbolt。
  "What’sthematter?"criedtheProphet,hisvoicebecomingnotalittlepiercingfromsurpriseandhispreviousstressofagitation。
  "Youcan’tgointhere,MissMinerva,"requestedtheyounglibrarian,whohadnowgainedtheparlourthreshold,andwhoseemedabouttotakeupaverydeterminedstandthereon。
  "Imustgoin——Imust,"saidthelady,inamellow,butagainslightlyScottish,voice。"Don’ttellanybodyI’mhere,oryou’llbesorry。"
  And,withthesewords,sheboundedintotheparlourandbangedthedoorontheyounglibrarian。TheProphetopenedhislipspreparatorytoathirdwildexclamation。
  "Hush!"theladyhissedaristocratically。
  Sheshookherheadvigourouslyathim,sankdownononeofthecanechairs,heldupherrighthand,andleanttowardsthedoor。Itwasobviousthatshewaslisteningforsomethingwithstrainedattention,andsoeloquentwasherattitudethatthetwoprophetswereinfectedwithherdesire。Theyturnedtheireyesmechanicallytowardsthedealdoorandlistenedtoo。Foramomenttherewassilence。Thenaheavyfootstepresoundeduponthelibraryfloor,accompaniedbythesharptapofawalkingstick。Thelady’sattitudebecamemoretenseandthepupilsofherhandsomegreyeyesdilated。
  "Hasayoungfemalejustenteredthisshop?"saidaveryheavyandrumblingvoice。
  "Thisain’tashop,sir,"repliedthehighsopranooftheyounglibrarian,indignantly。
  "Bandynowordswithme,thouinfamousmalapert!"returnedthefirstvoice。"Butanswermyquestion。Haveyouayoungfemaleconcealedwithintheseloathsomeprecincts?"
  UnderordinarycircumstancesitisverypossiblethattheyounglibrarianmighthavebetrayedtheladyashehadalreadybetrayedMalkieltheSecond。Butithappenedthatthereexistedupontheearthoneobject,andoneobjectonly,towardswhichhefeltasenseofchivalry。ThisobjectwasJellybrand’sLibrary。Hisreplytothevoicewasthereforeasfollows,andwasdeliveredinhishighestkeyandwithextremevolubilityandpassion:——
  "Loathsomeprecinctsyourself!You’reaniceone,youare,chasingrespectableladiesaboutatyourage。Thereain’tnoyoungfemalesinthelibrary,andiftherewasIshouldn’ttrot’emoutforyoutoclapyouruglyoldeyeson。Nowthen,outyergo。Nomorewordsaboutit。
  Outyergo!"
  Aprolongedsoundofhardbreathingandoffeetscrapingviolentlyuponbareboardsfolloweduponthisdeliverance,complicatedbythesharpsnapofabreakingwalkingstick,thethumpofafallingchair,abangasofaheavybodyencounteringfirmresistancefromsomeinflexiblearticleoffurniture——probablyabookcase——andfinallyatremendousthundering,asofthehoofsofasquadronofcavalrychargingoveraparquetfloor,thecrashofadoor,thegrindingofakeyswiftlyturninginalock,and——silence。
  Thelady,MalkieltheSecondandtheProphetlookedatoneanother,andtheladyopenedhermouth。
  "D’youthinkhe’skilledhim?"shewhisperedwithconsiderablecuriosity。
  Therecameadistantnoiseofatorrentofknocksuponadoor。
  "No,hehasn’t,"addedthelady,arrangingherdress。"That’sagoodthing。"
  Thetwoprophetsnodded。Thetorrentofknocksroaredlouder,slightlyfailedupontheear,madeacrescendo,emulatedNiagara,surpassedthatveryAmericaneffortofnature,wavered,falteredtoLodore,diedawaytoafeebletittuplikewaterdroppingfromataptoflagstones,roseagaininafinalspurtthatwouldhavemadeSoutheyopenhisdictionaryforadjectives,anddrainedawaytodeath。
  Theladyleanedback。Forthefirsttimehercomposureseemedabouttodesertherentirely。Thatfatalsigninwoman,aworkingthroat,swallowingnothingwithextremerapidityandpersistence,becameapparent。
  "Aglassofwine,MissMinerva?"criedMalkiel,gallantly。
  Heplacedatumblertoherlips。Shefeeblysipped,thansprangtoherfeetwithacry。
  "I’mpoisoned!"
  "Youneverspokeatruerword,"saidtheProphet,solemnly。
  "Whatisit?"continuedthelady,frantically。"Whathashegivenme?"
  "Champagneatfourshillingsabottlebroughtfreshfromnextdoortoarabbitshop,"answeredtheProphet,lookingatMalkielwithalmostmalignantsatisfaction。
  Thelady,whohadgonewhiteaschalk,dartedtothedoorandflungitopen。
  "Aglassofwater!"shecried。"Getmeaglassofwater。"
  Theyounglibrariancameforwardwithablackeye。
  "It’sallright,ma’am。Thegentleman’sgone,"hepiped。
  "Whatgentleman?GivemeaglassofwaterorIshalldie!"
  Theyounglibrarian,whohadalreadyaninjuredair,proceededfromapositivetoacomparativeconditionofappearance。
  "Well,Inever!Whatgentleman!"heexclaimed。"Andmeblueandblackallover,tosaynothingofthebookcaseandthenewpaintthat’llbewantedforthedoor!"
  "Canyouchatterabouttriflesatsuchamoment?"criedtheProphet。
  "Don’tyouseethelady’sbeenpoisoned?"
  "What——bytheoldgent?"returnedtheyounglibrarian。"Thenwhatdoesshecometoalibraryfor?Whydon’tshegotoachemist?"
  TheladyturnedheragonisedeyesupontheProphet。
  "Takemetoone,"shewhisperedthroughpalelips。
  Shetotteredtowardshimandleaneduponhisarm。
  "Trustme,trustme,Iwill,"saidtheProphet。"Directme!"headdedtotheyounglibrarian。
  "There’soneontheothersideoftherabbitshop,"saidthatworthy,whohadsuddenlybecomeexceedinglygluminmannerandmoroseinappearance。
  "Thankyou。Kindlyunlockthedoor。"
  Theyounglibrariandidso,lethargically,andtheladyandtheProphetbegantomoveslowlyintothestreet。JustastheyweregainingitMalkieltheSecondcriedout,——
  "Onemoment,sir!"
  "Notone,"retortedtheProphet,firmly。"Notonetillthisladyhashadanantidote。"
  Hewalkedonwithdetermination。Supportingthelady。Buterehegotquiteoutofearshothecaughtthesefragmentsofashatteredspeech,hurtlingthroughthesymphonyofLondonnoises:——
  "BanksoftheMouse——Madame——sakeofCapricor——besureI——probe——quick——search——theverycore——hearfromme——architects——marrow——almanac——thelastday——theBerkeleysquare——"
  Thefinalejaculationmeltedawayintothesomewhatpowerfuldiscordproducedbytheimpactofabrewer’sdraywitharunawayomnibusatthecornerofGreekStreet,whichwaseventuallyresolvedbytheburstingofamotorcar——containingtwobookmakersandanactingmanager——whichmingledwiththemattherateofperhapsfortymilesanhour。
  "Yes,please,ahansom,"saidLadyEnidThistle,somefiveminuteslater,assheandtheProphetstoodtogetheruponthekerbinfrontoftherabbitshop。"Ifeelmuchbetternow。"
  TheProphethailedahansomandhandedherintoit。
  "Whichwayareyougoing?"heasked。
  LadyEnidlookeddoubtful。
  "IoughttobegoingbacktoJellybrand’s,"shesaid。"Ihadanappointment。Butreally——youseeMr。Sagittariusisthere,andaltogether——Idon’tknow。"
  Shewasobviouslystillupsetbythe"creamingfoam,"andtheotherincidentsoftheafternoon。
  "Cometoteawithgrannie,"saidtheProphet。
  "She’sathome?"
  "Yes。She’stwistedherankle。"
  "Oh,I’msosorry。"
  "Letmeescortyou。"
  "Thanks。IthinkIwill。"
  "Youwon’tmindstoppingforamomentatHollings’s?"saidtheProphet,inPiccadillyCircus。"Ipromisedtobuysomeroses。Somebodyiscomingintotea。"
  "On,no。Butwhoisit?"
  "Idon’tknow。Onlyoneperson,Ithink。Anoldfriend,nodoubt。
  ProbablytheCentralAmericanAmbassador’sgrandfather。"
  "Oh,ifthat’sall!Ifeelalittleshakystill。"
  "Naturally。"
  TheProphetboughttherosesandtheydroveon。
  "It’sveryniceofyounottoaskanyquestions,"observedLadyEnid,presently。
  TheProphethadbeenthinkingitwas,butheonlysaid,——
  "Oh,notatall。"
  "I’mawoman,"promisedLadyEnid,"andIdon’tknowwhetherIcanbesonice。"
  TheProphetglancedatherandmethercuriousgreyeyes。
  "Try——please,"herepliedverygently,thinkingoftheoathwhichhehadjusttaken。
  LadyEnidwassilentfortwominutes,thensheremarked,——
  "Ihavetried,butIcan’tsucceed。Whyonearthwereyouclosetedintheparlour——atmytime,too——withMr。Sagittariusthisafternoon?"
  "ThenyoureallyareMissMinervaPartridge?Anditwasreallyyouwhohad——had——well,’bespoke’theparlourathalf—pastthree?"
  "Certainly。Nowweareneitherofusnice,butwe’rebothofushuman。"
  "Thereweresomelettersforyou,"saidtheProphet。
  LadyEnidwrinkledhersmooth,young,healthy—lookingforehead。
  "Howstupidofme!I’llfetchthemto—morrow。Well?"
  ShelookedattheProphetwithobviousexpectation。
  "I’msosorryIcan’ttellyou,"herepliedwithgentlefirmness。
  "Oh,allright,"sherejoined。"ButnowI’matadisadvantage。YouknowI’mMissMinerva。"
  "Yes。ButIdon’tknowwhyyouare,orwhyyougotoJellybrand’s,orwhyyourushedintotheparlour,orwhotheoldgentlemanwasthat——"
  ThecabstoppedbeforeMrs。Merillia’shouse。
  Inthehall,uponanoakenbench,theyperceivedaverybroad—brimmedtophatstandingonitshead。Besideitlaytwopiecesofastoutandknobblywalkingstickwhichhadbeenbrokeninhalf。LadyEnidstartedviolently。
  "GoodHeavens!"shecried。
  Shepickedupthewalkingstick,examinedit,andlaiditdown。
  "Idon’tthinkIwantanytea,"shemurmured。
  "I’msureyoudo,"saidtheProphet,withsomepressure。
  Shestoodstillforamoment。Then,catchingtheattentiveroundeyeofGustavus,whowaswaitingbythehalldoor,sheshruggedhershouldersandwalkedtowardsthestaircase。
  "It’sveryhardlines,"shemurmuredasshebegantoascend:"allthequestionsyouwantedtoaskarebeinganswered。YouknowI’mMissMinervaalready。Inanotherminuteyou’llknowwhotheoldgentlemanwasthat——"
  TheProphetcouldtellfromtheexpressionofherstraight,slightlyScottish,backthatshewaspoutingassheenteredthedrawing—roomwhereMrs。Merilliawashavingteawith——somebody。
  CHAPTERVI
  THEOLDASTRONOMERDISCOURSETHOFTHESTARS
  NeverbeforehadtheProphetfeltsoalivewithcuriosityashedidwhenhefollowedLadyEnidintoMrs。Merillia’spresence,forheknewthathewasabouttoseethevenerablevictimoftheyounglibrarian’sindignantchivalry,the"oldgent"whohadcometointimatetermswithJellybrand’sbookcase,andwhohadkickedandknockedatleastapintofpaintoffJellybrand’sdoor。Hiseyeswerelargeandstaringasheglancedswiftlyfromhisgrandmother’ssofatothehugetelescope,underwhoseveryshadowwasseatednolessapersonagethanSirTiglathButt,holdingacupofteaononehandandalarge—sizedmuffinintheother。
  NowondertheProphetjumped。NowonderMrs。Merilliacriedout,inherpretty,clearvoice,——
  "TakecareofBeau,Hennessey!You’retreadingonhim。"
  Thedachshund’spatheticshriekofoutragemadetheraftersring。Mrs。
  Merilliaputhermittenstoherears,andSirTiglathdroppedhismuffinintoajarofpot—pourri。
  "Ibegyourpardon,"saidtheProphet,earnestly。"SirTiglath——thisisindeedasur——apleasure。"
  LadyEnidwasbeingembracedbyMrs。Merillia。TheProphetextendedhishandtotheastronomer,who,however,turnedhisbacktothecompanyand,divingoneofhisenormoushandsintothepot—pourrijar,begantorummageviolentlyforhisvanishedmeal。
  "Whatisit?"saidtheProphet,whohadnotseenthemuffingo。"CanI
  helpyou?"
  Stillpresentinghishugebackandthepurplenapeofhisfatnecktotheassemblage,theastronomer,aftertryinginvaintoextractthelostdaintyinalegitimatemanner,turnedthejarupsidedown,andpouredtherose—leavesandthemuffininaheterogeneouslibationupontheChippendaletable。Afteracloseexaminationofitheturnedaround,holdingupthefoodtowhosebutteredsurfaceseveralleavesadheredinadisordered,butdetermined,manner。
  "OnlyaPersiancoulddevourthismuffinnow,"hesaid,inhisrumbling,sing—songandstrangelytheatricalvoice,whichalwayssuggestedthathewasabouttodeliveracoupleofhundredorsolengthsofblankverse。"Omarbeneathhistreeperchance,orGurustuwhotoBaghdadcamewithsteeda—foamandeyesa—flame。Whereforedoyoutrampleuponhaplessanimalsthatarenotdumb,youngman,andcausethepoorastronomertocasthismuffinupontheroses,where,mayhap,thehousemaidmightfinditaftermanydays?Oh—h—h—h!"
  Heutteredatremulousbasscryofmingledreproachanddespair,thatsoundedratherlikethewailofsomedeplorablewatchmanuponacitywall,shakinghisenormousheadattheProphetthewhile,andflappinghisredhandsslowlyintheair。
  "Howd’youdo,SirTiglath?"saidLadyEnid,cominguptohimwithlightcarelessness。
  SirTiglathbowed。
  "Veryill,veryill,"herumbled,lookingatherfurtivelywithhisglassyeyes。"Onehashadanafternoonoftragedy,anafternoonofbrawlingandofdisturbance,inanavenuethatshallhenceforthbecalledaccursed。"
  Hesatdownuponhisarmchair,withhisshortlegsstuckstraightoutandrestinguponhisheelsalone,hishandsfoldedacrosshisstomach,andhispurpletriplechinsunkinhiselaborate,butverydusty,cravat。Wagginghisheadtoandfro,headded,withtheheavy,concludingtremolothatdecoratedmostofhisvocalefforts,"Thriceaccursed。Oh—h—h—h!"
  LadyEnid,whoseemedtohavequiterecoveredherself—possession,satdownbyMrs。Merillia,whiletheProphet,insomeconfusion,offeredtohisgrandmotherthebunchofroseshehadboughtatHollings’s。"
  "They’realittlelate,grannie,I’mafraid,"hesaid。"ButIwasunavoidablydetained。"
  Mrs。Merilliaglancedathimsharply。
  "Detained,Hennessey!Thenyoufoundwhatyouwereseeking?"
  TheProphetrememberedhisoathandturnedscarlet。
  "No,no,grannie,"hemurmuredhastily,andlookinglikeacriminal。"I
  metLadyEnid,"headded。
  "Wheredidyoumeetthelady,youngman?"saidSirTiglath。"Wasitintheaccursedavenue?"
  LadyEnidshotahastyglanceofwarningattheProphet。Mrs。Merilliainterceptedit,andbegantoformfreshideasofthatyoungperson,whomshehadformerlycalledsensible,butwhomshenowbegantothinkofascrafty。
  "Whichavenueisthat,SirTiglath?"askedtheProphet,witharatherinadequateassumptionofinnocence。
  "TheAvenueinwhichonebeholdstheperfidydartingintohiddenplaces,youngman,inwhichthedefendersoffoolishvirginsarebuffetedandbrowbeatenbycounter—jumperswithcraniumsasbigasthegreatnebulaofOrion。Theavenuenamedafteracrumbledphilanthropist,whocouldwalk,sheeted,throughtheatrociousnightcouldhissacreddustawaketotheabominationsthatareperpetratedundertheprotectionofhisshadow。LetdragonslayitwastelikethehighwaysofBabylon。"
  Hegatheredupacrumpet,andblinkedatLadyEnid,whowasairilysippingherteawithaslightlydetachedairofcalmandmaidenlydignity。
  "IthinkSirTiglathmustbedescribingShaftesburyAvenue,"remarkedMrs。Merillia,rathermischievously。
  "Oh,really,"stammeredtheProphet,"Ihadnoideathatitwassuchanevilneighbourhood。"
  "WhereisShaftesburyAvenue?"askedLadyEnid,gentlyfoldingafragmentofthinbreadandbutterandnibblingitwithherprettymouth。
  SirTiglathelevatedhishandsandrolledhiseyes。
  "WherepartridgesaretobefoundinJanuary,oh—h—h—h!"washisveryunexpectedreply。
  TheProphetstartedviolently,andevenLadyEnidlookeddisconcertedforamoment。
  "Whatdoyoumean,SirTiglath?"shesaid,recoveringherself。
  SheturnedtoMrs。Merillia。
  "Iwonderwhathemeans,"shesaid。"Henevertalkssensiblyunlessheisinhisobservatory,orlecturingtotheRoyalSocietyonthe’RegularityofHeavenlyBodies,’or——"
  "Theirregularitiesofearthlyones,"interposedSirTiglath。"Intheaccursedavenue——oh—h—h!"
  "Ifear,SirTiglath,youmustbeamemberoftheVigilanceSociety,"
  saidMrs。Merillia。
  "Yes。Helooksatthemoralsofthestarsthroughhistelescope,saidLadyEnid。"Bytheway——doyou,too?"sheaddedtotheProphet,forthefirsttimeobservingtheinstrumentinthebowwindow。
  Mrs。MerilliaandSirTiglathexchangedaglance。AnearnestexpressioncameintotheProphet’sface。
  "Iconfess,"hesaid,withbecomingmodestyinthepresenceofthegreatmasterofmodernastronomy,"thatIdowatchtheheavensfromthatwindow。"
  "Andforwhatpurpose,youngman?"rumbledSirTiglath,forthefirsttimedroppinghistheatricalmannerofanoldbarn—stormer,andspeakinglikeanyordinaryfogey,suchasyoumayseeatameetingonbehalfoftheNorthPole,oratadinneroftheOddeVolumes。
  "For——forpurposesofresearch,SirTiglath,"answeredtheProphet,withsomediplomacy。
  "Theyoungmantriethtoputofftheoldastronomerwithfairwords,"
  bellowedSirTiglath。"Thethiefinsertethhisthumbintothetailpocketoftheunobservantarchbishopforpurposesofresearch。Theyoungmanplayethmerrilyforsoothwiththeoldastronomer。"
  Mrs。Merillianoddedherlacecapathimencouragingly。Itwasevidentthattherewasanunderstandingbetweenthem。LadyEnidbegantowonderwhatwasitsnature。TheProphetseemedratherdisconcertedatthereceptiongiventohisnotwhollyartlessambiguity。
  "Grannie,"hesaid,turningtoMrs。Merillia,"youknowhowdeeplythestarsinterestme。"
  "Fortheirownsake,youngman?"saidSirTiglath。"Orastheaccursedavenueintereststhefoolishvirgins——forthesakeoffrivolity,idlecuriosity,ordarkdoingswhichcouldnotsupportthelightevenofastarofthesixthmagnitude?Canyoutellyouradmirableandreveredgranddamthat?"
  Thistime,underneathhispreposterousmannerandfantasticspeech,bothLadyEnidandtheProphetfanciedthattheycoulddetectanelementofrealgravity,evenperhapsahintofweightycensurewhichmadethembothfeelveryyoung——risingtwo,orthereabouts。
  "Iwasoriginallyledtostudystars,SirTiglath,becauseIhadthehonourtomeetyouandmakeyouracquaintance,"saidtheProphet,valiantly。
  Theastronomerlapsedatonceintohisfirstmanner。
  "Inwhatfaircompanydidtheoldastronomerconversewiththeyoungman?"hecried。"Hismemoryfailethhim。Hedotethandcannotrecallthegreatoccasion。"
  "ItwasattheColleyCibberClub,SirTiglath,"saidtheProphet,firmly。"Butwe——wedidnotconverse。Youhada——aslightindisposition。"
  "Wouldyouventuretoimply——inthepresenceofyournotablegranddam——
  thatonehadlookeduponthewinewhenitwasred,youngman?"
  "Youhadaglassofportbyyoucertainly,SirTiglath。Butyoualsohadacoldwhich,yougavemetounderstand——bysigns——hadaffectedyourthroatandpreventedyoufromcarryingonconversation。
  "Thenwasitthevisionoftheoldastronomer’spersonalandstarrybeautythatledyou,hotfoot,toVenusthroughyondertelescope?
  Oh—h—h—h!"