CHAPTERXXV
StableHartshorn—HowtoManageaHorseonaJourney—YourBestFriend。
OFonethingIamcertain,thatthereadermustbemuchdelightedwiththewholesomesmellofthestable,withwhichmanyofthesepagesareredolent;whatacontrasttothesicklyodoursexhaledfromthoseofsomeofmycontemporaries,especiallyofthosewhopretendtobeofthehighlyfashionableclass,andwhotreatofreception—rooms,wellmaytheybestyledso,inwhichdukes,duchesses,earls,countesses,archbishops,bishops,mayors,mayoresses—notforgettingthewritersthemselves,bothmaleandfemale—
congregateandpressupononeanother;howcheering,howrefreshing,afterhavingbeennearlyknockeddownwithsuchanatmosphere,tocomeincontactwithgenuinestablehartshorn。Oh!thereadershallhaveyetmoreofthestable,andofthatoldostler,forwhichheorshewilldoubtlessexclaim,"Muchobliged!"—and,lestIshouldforgettoperformmypromise,thereadershallhaveitnow。
Ishallneverforgetanharanguefromthemouthoftheoldman,whichIlistenedtoonewarmeveningasheandIsatonthethresholdofthestable,afterhavingattendedtosomeofthewantsofabatchofcoach—horses。Itrelatedtothemannerinwhichagentlemanshouldtakecareofhishorseandself,whilstengagedinajourneyonhorseback,andwasaddressedtomyself,onthesuppositionofmyonedaycomingtoanestate,andofcoursebecomingagentleman。
"Whenyouareagentleman,"saidhe,"shouldyoueverjourneyonahorseofyourown,andyoucouldnothaveamuchbetterthantheoneyouhavehereeatingitsfillintheboxyonder—Iwonder,bythebye,howyouevercamebyit—youcan’tdobetterthanfollowtheadviceIamabouttogiveyou,bothwithrespecttoyouranimalandyourself。Beforeyoustart,merelygiveyourhorseacoupleofhandfulsofcornandalittlewater,somewhatunderaquart,andifyoudrinkapintofwateryourselfoutofthepail,youwillfeelallthebetterduringthewholeday;thenyoumaywalkandtrotyouranimalforabouttenmiles,tillyoucometosomeniceinn,whereyoumaygetdownandseeyourhorseledintoanicestall,tellingtheostlernottofeedhimtillyoucome。Iftheostlerhappenstobeadog—fancier,andhasanEnglishterrier—doglikethatofminethere,saywhatanicedogitis,andpraiseitsblackandtawn;andifhedoesnothappentobeadog—fancier,askhimhowhe’sgettingon,andwhetherheeverknewworsetimes;thatkindofthingwillpleasetheostler,andhewillletyoudojustwhatyoupleasewithyourownhorse,andwhenyourbackisturned,he’llsaytohiscomradeswhatanicegentlemanyouare,andhowhethinkshehasseenyoubefore;thengoandsitdowntobreakfast,and,beforeyouhavefinishedbreakfast,getupandgoandgiveyourhorseafeedofcorn;chatwiththeostlertwoorthreeminutestillyourhorsehastakentheshineoutofhiscorn,whichwillpreventtheostlertakinganyofitawaywhenyourbackisturned,forsuchthingsaresometimesdone—notthatIeverdidsuchathingmyselfwhenIwasattheinnatHounslow。Oh,dearme,no!Thengoandfinishyourbreakfast,andwhenyouhavefinishedyourbreakfastandcalledforthenewspaper,goandwateryourhorse,lettinghimhaveonepailful,thengivehimanotherfeedofcorn,andenterintodiscoursewiththeostleraboutbull—baiting,theprimeminister,andthelike;andwhenyourhorsehasoncemoretakentheshineoutofhiscorn,gobacktoyourroomandyournewspaper—andIhopeforyoursakeitmaybetheGLOBE,forthat’sthebestpapergoing—thenpullthebell—
ropeandorderinyourbill,whichyouwillpaywithoutcountingitup—supposingyoutobeagentleman。Givethewaitersixpence,andorderoutyourhorse,andwhenyourhorseisout,payforthecorn,andgivetheostlerashilling,thenmountyourhorseandwalkhimgentlyforfivemiles;andwhilstyouarewalkinghiminthismanner,itmaybeaswelltotellyoutotakecarethatyoudonotlethimdownandsmashhisknees,moreespeciallyiftheroadbeaparticularlygoodone,foritisnotatadesperatehivermanpace,andoververybadroads,thatahorsetumblesandsmasheshisknees,butonyourparticularlyniceroad,whenthehorseisgoinggentlyandlazily,andishalfasleep,likethegemmanonhisback;well,attheendofthefivemiles,whenthehorsehasdigestedhisfood,andisallright,youmaybegintopushyourhorseon,trottinghimamileataheat,andthenwalkinghimaquarterofaone,thathiswindmaybenotdistressed;andyoumaygooninthatwayforthirtymiles,nevergalloping,ofcourse,fornonebutfoolsorhivermenevergallophorsesonroads;andattheendofthatdistanceyoumaystopatsomeotherniceinntodinner。Isay,whenyourhorseisledintothestable,afterthatsamethirtymiles’trottingandwalking,don’tletthesaddlebewhiskedoffatonce,forifyoudoyourhorsewillhavesuchasorebackaswillfrightenyou,butletyoursaddleremainonyourhorse’sback,withthegirthsloosened,tillafterhisnextfeedofcorn,andbesurethathehasnocorn,muchlesswater,tillafteralonghourandmore;afterheisfedhemaybewateredtothetuneofhalfapail,andthentheostlercangivehimaregularrubdown;youmaythensitdowntodinner,andwhenyouhavedinedgetupandseetoyourhorseasyoudidafterbreakfast,infact,youmustdomuchafterthesamefashionyoudidatt’otherinn;seetoyourhorse,andbynomeansdisobligetheostler。Sowhenyouhaveseentoyourhorseasecondtime,youwillsitdowntoyourbottleofwine—supposingyoutobeagentleman—
andafteryouhavefinishedit,andyourargumentaboutthecorn—lawswithanycommercialgentlemanwhohappenstobeintheroom,youmaymountyourhorseagain—notforgettingtodotheproperthingtothewaiterandostler;youmaymountyourhorseagainandridehim,asyoudidbefore,foraboutfiveandtwentymiles,attheendofwhichyoumayputupforthenightafteraveryfairday’sjourney,fornogentleman—
supposingheweighssixteenstone,asIsupposeyouwillbythetimeyoubecomeagentleman—oughttorideahorsemorethansixty—fivemilesinoneday,providedhehasanyregardforhishorse’sback,orhisowneither。Seetoyourhorseatnight,andhavehimwellrubbeddown。Thenextdayyoumayrideyourhorsefortymiles,justasyouplease,butneverfoolishly,andthosefortymileswillbringyoutoyourjourney’send,unlessyourjourneybeaplaguylongone,andifso,neverrideyourhorsemorethanfiveandthirtymilesaday,always,however,seeinghimwellfed,andtakingmorecareofhimthanyourself;whichisbutrightandreasonable,seeingashowthehorseisthebestanimalofthetwo。"
"Whenyouareagentleman,"saidhe,afterapause,"thefirstthingyoumustthinkaboutistoprovideyourselfwithagoodhorseforyourownparticularriding;youwill,perhaps,keepacoachandpair,buttheywillbelessyourownthanyourlady’s,shouldyouhaveone,andyouryounggentry,shouldyouhaveany;or,ifyouhaveneither,formadam,yourhousekeeper,andtheupperfemaleservants;soyouneedtroubleyourheadlessaboutthem,though,ofcourse,youwouldnotliketopayawayyourmoneyforscrews;
butbesureyougetagoodhorseforyourownriding;andthatyoumayhaveagoodchanceofhavingagoodone,buyonethat’syoungandhasplentyofbelly—alittlemorethantheonehaswhichyounowhave,thoughyouarenotyetagentleman;youwill,ofcourse,looktohishead,hiswithers,legsandotherpoints,butneverbuyahorseatanypricethathasnotplentyofbelly;nohorsethathasnotbellyiseveragoodfeeder,andahorsethata’n’tagoodfeedercan’tbeagoodhorse;neverbuyahorsethatisdrawnupinthebellybehind;ahorseofthatdescriptioncan’tfeed,andcannevercarrysixteenstone。
"Sowhenyouhavegotsuchahorsebeproudofit—asI
daresayyouareoftheoneyouhavenow—andwhereveryougosweartherea’n’tanothertomatchitinthecountry,andifanybodygivesyouthelie,takehimbythenoseandtweakitoff,justasyouwoulddoifanybodyweretospeakillofyourlady,or,forwantofher,ofyourhousekeeper。Takecareofyourhorse,asyouwouldoftheappleofyoureye—I
amsureIwould,ifIwereagentleman,whichIdon’teverexpecttobe,andhardlywish,seeingashowIamsixty—nine,andamrathertoooldtoride—yes,cherishandtakecareofyourhorseasperhapsthebestfriendyouhaveintheworld;
for,afterall,whowillcarryyouthroughthickandthinasyourhorsewill?notyourgentlemenfriends,Iwarrant,noryourupperservants,maleorfemale;perhapsyourladywould,thatis,ifsheisawhopper,andoneoftherightsort;theotherswouldbemorelikelytotakeupmudandpeltyouwithit,providedtheysawyouintrouble,thantohelpyou。Sotakecareofyourhorse,andfeedhimeverydaywithyourownhands;givehimthreequartersofapeckofcorneachday,mixedupwithalittlehay—chaff,andallowhimbesidesonehundredweightofhayinthecourseoftheweek;somesaythatthehayshouldbehardlandhay,becauseitisthewholesomest,butIsay,letitbecloverhay,becausethehorselikesitbest;givehimthroughsummerandwinter,onceaweek,apailfulofbranmash,coldinsummerandinwinterhot;ridehimgentlyabouttheneighbourhoodeveryday,bywhichmeansyouwillgiveexercisetoyourselfandhorse,and,moreover,havethesatisfactionofexhibitingyourselfandyourhorsetoadvantage,andhearing,perhaps,themensaywhatafinehorse,andtheladiessayingwhatafineman:
neverletyourgroommountyourhorse,asitistentoone,ifyoudo,yourgroomwillbewishingtoshowoffbeforecompany,andwillflingyourhorsedown。IwasgroomtoagemmanbeforeIwenttotheinnatHounslow,andflunghimahorsedownworthninetyguineas,byendeavouringtoshowoffbeforesomeladiesthatImetontheroad。TurnyourhorseouttograssthroughoutMayandthefirstpartofJune,forthenthegrassissweetest,andthefliesdon’tstingsobadastheydolaterinsummer;afterwardsmerelyturnhimoutoccasionallyintheswaleofthemornandtheevening;afterSeptemberthegrassisgoodforlittle,lashandsouratbest;everyhorseshouldgoouttograss,ifnothisbloodbecomesfullofgreasyhumours,andhiswindisapttobecomeaffected,butheoughttobekeptasmuchaspossiblefromtheheatandflies,alwaysgotupatnight,andneverturnedoutlateintheyear—Lord!ifIhadalwayssuchaniceattentivepersontolistentomeasyouare,Icouldgoontalkingabout’orsestotheendoftime。"
CHAPTERXXVI
TheStage—CoachmenofEngland—ABullyServedOut—
Broughton’sGuard—TheBrazenHead。
ILIVEDonverygoodterms,notonlywiththemasterandtheoldostler,butwithallthedomesticsandhangersonattheinn;waiters,chambermaids,cooks,andscullions,notforgettingthe"boots,"ofwhichtherewerethree。Asforthepostillions,Iwasswornbrotherwiththemall,andsomeofthemwentsofarastoswearthatIwasthebestfellowintheworld;forwhichhighopinionentertainedbythemofme,IbelieveIwasprincipallyindebtedtothegoodaccounttheircomradegaveofme,whomIhadsohospitablyreceivedinthedingle。IrepeatthatIlivedongoodtermswithallthepeopleconnectedwiththeinn,andwasnoticedandspokenkindlytobysomeoftheguests—especiallybythatclasstermedcommercialtravellers—allofwhomweregreatfriendsandpatronizersofthelandlord,andweretheprincipalpromotersofthedinner,andsubscriberstothegiftofplate,whichIhavealreadyspokenof,thewholefraternitystrikingmeasthejolliestsetoffellowsimaginable,thebestcustomerstoaninn,andthemostliberaltoservants;
therewasonedescriptionofpersons,however,frequentingtheinn,whichIdidnotlikeatall,andwhichIdidnotgetonwellwith,andthesepeoplewerethestage—coachmen。
Thestage—coachmenofEngland,atthetimeofwhichIamspeaking,consideredthemselvesmightyfinegentry,nay,I
verilybelievethemostimportantpersonagesoftherealm,andtheirentertainingthishighopinionofthemselvescanscarcelybewonderedat;theywerelowfellows,butmastersatdriving;drivingwasinfashion,andsprigsofnobilityusedtodressascoachmenandimitatetheslangandbehaviourofthecoachmen,fromwhomoccasionallytheywouldtakelessonsindrivingastheysatbesidethemonthebox,whichpostofhonouranysprigofnobilitywhohappenedtotakeaplaceonacoachclaimedashisunquestionableright;andthesesprigswouldsmokecigarsanddrinksherrywiththecoachmeninbar—rooms,andontheroad;and,whenbiddingthemfarewell,wouldgivethemaguineaorahalf—guinea,andshakethembythehand,sothatthesefellows,beinglowfellows,verynaturallythoughtnosmallliquorofthemselves,butwouldtalkfamiliarlyoftheirfriendslordssoandso,thehonourablemisterssoandso,andSirHarryandSirCharles,andbewonderfullysaucytoanyonewhowasnotalord,orsomethingofthekind;andthishighopinionofthemselvesreceiveddailyaugmentationfromtheservilehomagepaidthembythegeneralityoftheuntitledmalepassengers,especiallythoseontheforepartofthecoach,whousedtocontendforthehonourofsittingontheboxwiththecoachmanwhennosprigwasnightoputinhisclaim。Oh!
whatservilehomagethesecravencreaturesdidpaythesesamecoachfellows,moreespeciallyafterwitnessingthisort’otheractofbrutalitypractisedupontheweakandunoffending—uponsomepoorfriendlesswomantravellingwithbutlittlemoney,andperhapsabraceofhungrychildrenwithher,oruponsomethinandhalf—starvedmantravellingonthehindpartofthecoachfromLondontoLiverpoolwithonlyeighteenpenceinhispocketafterhisfarewaspaid,todefrayhisexpensesontheroad;forastheinsolenceoftheseknightswasvast,sowastheirrapacityenormous;theyhadbeensolongaccustomedtohavecrownsandhalf—crownsraineduponthembytheiradmirersandflatterers,thattheywouldlookatashilling,forwhichmanyanhonestlabourerwashappytotoilfortenhoursunderabroilingsun,withtheutmostcontempt;wouldblowuponitderisively,orfillipitintotheairbeforetheypocketedit;butwhennothingwasgiventhem,aswouldoccasionallyhappen—forhowcouldtheyreceivefromthosewhohadnothing?andnobodywasboundtogivethemanything,astheyhadcertainwagesfromtheiremployers—thenwhatascenewouldensue!TrulythebrutalityandrapaciousinsolenceofEnglishcoachmenhadreachedaclimax;itwastimethatthesefellowsshouldbedisenchanted,andthetime—thankHeaven!—wasnotfardistant。Letthecravendastardswhousedtocurryfavourwiththem,andapplaudtheirbrutality,lamenttheirlossnowthattheyandtheirvehicleshavedisappearedfromtheroads;
I,whohaveeverbeenanenemytoinsolence,cruelty,andtyranny,loathetheirmemory,and,whatismore,amnotafraidtosayso,wellawareofthestormofvituperation,partlylearntfromthem,whichImayexpectfromthosewhousedtofalldownandworshipthem。
Amongstthecoachmenwhofrequentedtheinnwasonewhowascalled"thebang—upcoachman。"Hedrovetoourinn,intheforepartofeveryday,oneofwhatwerecalledthefastcoaches,andafterwardstookbackthecorrespondingvehicle。
Hestayedatourhouseabouttwentyminutes,duringwhichtimethepassengersofthecoachwhichhewastoreturnwithdined;thoseatleastwhowereinclinedfordinner,andcouldpayforit。Hederivedhissobriquetof"thebang—upcoachman"partlyfromhisbeingdressedintheextremityofcoachdandyism,andpartlyfromthepeculiarinsolenceofhismanner,andtheunmercifulfashioninwhichhewasinthehabitoflashingonthepoorhorsescommittedtohischarge。
Hewasalargetallfellow,ofaboutthirty,withafacewhich,haditnotbeenbloatedbyexcess,andinsolenceandcrueltystampedmostvisiblyuponit,mighthavebeencalledgood—looking。Hisinsolenceindeedwassogreat,thathewashatedbyalltheminorfryconnectedwithcoachesalongtheroaduponwhichhedrove,especiallytheostlers,whomhewascontinuallyabusingorfindingfaultwith。Manywastheheartycursewhichhereceivedwhenhisbackwasturned;butthegeneralityofpeopleweremuchafraidofhim,forhewasaswingingstrongfellow,andhadthereputationofbeingafighter,andinoneortwoinstanceshadbeateninabarbarousmannerindividualswhohadquarrelledwithhim。
Iwasnearlyhavingafracaswiththisworthy。Oneday,afterhehadbeendrinkingsherrywithasprig,heswaggeredintotheyardwhereIhappenedtobestanding;justthenawaitercamebycarryinguponatraypartofasplendidCheshirecheese,withaknife,plate,andnapkin。Stoppingthewaiter,thecoachmancutwiththeknifeatolerablylargelumpoutoftheverymiddleofthecheese,stuckitontheendoftheknife,andputtingittohismouthnibbledaslightpieceoffit,andthen,tossingtherestawaywithdisdain,flungtheknifedownuponthetray,motioningthewaitertoproceed;"Iwish,"saidI,"youmaynotwantbeforeyoudiewhatyouhavejustflungaway,"whereuponthefellowturnedfuriouslytowardsme;justthen,however,hiscoachbeingstandingatthedoor,therewasacryforcoachman,sothathewasforcedtodepart,contentinghimselfforthepresentwithshakinghisfistatme,andthreateningtoservemeoutonthefirstopportunity;before,however,theopportunityoccurredhehimselfgotservedoutinamostunexpectedmanner。
Thedayafterthisincidenthedrovehiscoachtotheinn,andafterhavingdismountedandreceivedthecontributionsofthegeneralityofthepassengers,hestruttedup,withacigarinhismouth,toanindividualwhohadcomewithhim,andwhohadjustaskedmeaquestionwithrespecttothedirectionofavillageaboutthreemilesoff,towhichhewasgoing。"Rememberthecoachman,"saidtheknightoftheboxtothisindividual,whowasathinpersonofaboutsixty,withawhitehat,rathershabbyblackcoat,andbuff—colouredtrousers,andwhoheldanumbrellaandasmallbundleinhishand。"Ifyouexpectmetogiveyouanything,"saidhetothecoachman,"youaremistaken;Iwillgiveyounothing。
YouhavebeenveryinsolenttomeasIrodebehindyouonthecoach,andhaveencouragedtwoorthreetrumperyfellows,whorodealongwithyou,tocutscurvyjokesatmyexpense,andnowyoucometomeformoney;Iamnotsopoor,butIcouldhavegivenyouashillinghadyoubeencivil;asitis,I
willgiveyounothing。""Oh!youwon’t,won’tyou?"saidthecoachman;"dearme!IhopeIshan’tstarvebecauseyouwon’tgivemeanything—ashillingIwhy,IcouldaffordtogiveyoutwentyifIthoughtfit,youpauper!civiltoyou,indeed!thingsarecometoafinepassifIneedbeciviltoyou!Doyouknowwhoyouarespeakingto?why,thebestlordsinthecountryareproudtospeaktome。Why,itwasonlytheotherdaythattheMarquisof—saidtome—"andthenhewentontosaywhattheMarquissaidtohim;afterwhich,flingingdownhiscigar,hestrutteduptheroad,swearingtohimselfaboutpaupers。
"Yousayitisthreemilesto—,"saidtheindividualtome;
"IthinkIshalllightmypipe,andsmokeitasIgoalong。"
Thereuponhetookoutfromaside—pocketatobacco—boxandshortmeerschaumpipe,andimplementsforstrikingalight,filledhispipe,lightedit,andcommencedsmoking。
Presentlythecoachmandrewnear。Isawatoncethattherewasmischiefinhiseye;themansmokingwasstandingwithhisbacktowardshim,andhecamesonightohim,seeminglypurposely,thatashepassedapuffofsmokecameofnecessityagainsthisface。"Whatdoyoumeanbysmokinginmyface?"saidhe,strikingthepipeoftheelderlyindividualoutofhismouth。Theother,withoutmanifestingmuchsurprise,said,"Ithankyou;andifyouwillwaitaminute,Iwillgiveyouareceiptforthatfavour;"thengatheringuphispipe,andtakingoffhiscoatandhat,helaidthemonastepping—blockwhichstoodnear,andrubbinghishandstogether,headvancedtowardsthecoachmaninanattitudeofoffence,holdinghishandscrossedveryneartohisface。Thecoachman,whoprobablyexpectedanythingbutsuchamovementfromapersonoftheageandappearanceoftheindividualwhomhehadinsulted,stoodforamomentmotionlesswithsurprise;but,recollectinghimself,hepointedathimderisivelywithhisfinger;thenextmoment,however,theotherwascloseuponhim,hadstruckasidetheextendedhandwithhisleftfist,andgivenhimasevereblowonthenosewithhisright,whichheimmediatelyfollowedbyaleft—handblowintheeye;thendrawinghisbodyslightlybackward,withthevelocityoflightninghestruckthecoachmanfullinthemouth,andthelastblowwastheseverestofall,foritcutthecoachman’slipsnearlythrough;blowssoquicklyandsharplydealtIhadneverseen。
Thecoachmanreeledlikeafir—treeinagale,andseemednearlyunsensed。"Ho!what’sthis?afight!afight!"
soundedfromadozenvoices,andpeoplecamerunningfromalldirectionstoseewhatwasgoingon。Thecoachman,comingsomewhattohimself,disencumberedhimselfofhiscoatandhat;and,encouragedbytwoorthreeofhisbrothersofthewhip,showedsomesymptomsoffighting,endeavouringtoclosewithhisfoe,buttheattemptwasvain,forhisfoewasnottobeclosedwith;hedidnotshiftordodgeabout,butwardedofftheblowsofhisopponentwiththegreatestsang—
froid,alwaysusingtheguardwhichIhavealreadydescribed,andputtingin,inreturn,shortchoppingblowswiththeswiftnessoflightning。Inaveryfewminutesthecountenanceofthecoachmanwasliterallycuttopieces,andseveralofhisteethweredislodged;atlengthhegavein;
stungwithmortification,however,herepented,andaskedforanotherround;itwasgranted,tohisowncompletedemolition。Thecoachmandidnotdrivehiscoachbackthatday,hedidnotappearontheboxagainforaweek;butheneverhelduphisheadafterwards。BeforeIquittedtheinn,hehaddisappearedfromtheroad,goingnooneknewwhere。
Thecoachman,asIhavesaidbefore,wasverymuchdislikedupontheroad,buttherewasanespritdecorpsamongstthecoachmen,andthosewhostoodbydidnotliketoseetheirbrotherchastisedinsuchtremendousfashion。"Ineversawsuchafightbefore,"saidone。"Fight!why,Idon’tcallitafightatall;thischaphereha’n’tgotascratch,whereasTomiscuttopieces;itisallalongofthatguardofhis;
ifTomcouldhavegotwithinhisguardhewouldhavesoonservedtheoldchapout。""Sohewould,"saidanother,"itwasallowingtothatguard。However,IthinkIseeintoit,andifIhadnottodrivethisafternoon,Iwouldhaveaturnwiththeoldfellowandsoonservehimout。""Iwillfighthimnowforaguinea,"saidtheothercoachman,halftakingoffhiscoat;observing,however,thattheelderlyindividualmadeamotiontowardshim,hehitchedituponhisshoulderagain,andadded,"thatis,ifhehadnotbeenfightingalready,butasitis,Iamabovetakinganadvantage,especiallyofsuchapooroldcreatureasthat。"Andwhenhehadsaidthis,helookedaroundhim,andtherewasafeebletitterofapprobationfromtwoorthreeofthecravencrew,whowereinthehabitofcurryingfavourwiththecoachmen。
Theelderlyindividuallookedforamomentattheselast,andthensaid,"TosuchfellowsasyouIhavenothingtosay;"
thenturningtothecoachmen,"andasforyou,"hesaid,"yecowardlybullies,Ihavebutoneword,whichis,thatyourreignupontheroadsisnearlyover,andthatatimeiscomingwhenyewillnolongerbewantedoremployedinyourpresentcapacity,whenyewilleitherhavetodrivedung—
carts,assistasostlersatvillageale—houses,orrotintheworkhouse。"Thenputtingonhiscoatandhat,andtakinguphisbundle,notforgettinghismeerschaum,andtherestofhissmokingapparatus,hedepartedonhisway。Filledwithcuriosity,Ifollowedhim。
"Iamquiteastonishedthatyoushouldbeabletouseyourhandsinthewayyouhavedone,"saidI,asIwalkedwiththisindividualinthedirectioninwhichhewasbound。
"IwilltellyouhowIbecameabletodoso,"saidtheelderlyindividual,proceedingtofillandlighthispipeashewalkedalong。"Myfatherwasajourneymanengraver,wholivedinaveryriotousneighbourhoodintheoutskirtsofLondon。Wishingtogivemesomethingofaneducation,hesentmetoaday—school,twoorthreestreetsdistantfromwherewelived,andthere,beingratherapunyboy,I
sufferedmuchpersecutionfrommyschoolfellows,whowereaveryblackguardset。Oneday,asIwasrunninghome,withoneofmytormentorspursuingme,oldSergeantBroughton,theretiredfighting—man,seizedmebythearm—"
"Dearme,"saidI,"hasiteverbeenyourlucktobeacquaintedwithSergeantBroughton?"
"Youmaywellcallitluck,"saidtheelderlyindividual;butforhimIshouldneverhavebeenabletomakemywaythroughtheworld。Helivedonlyfourdoorsfromourhouse;so,asI
wasrunningalongthestreet,withmytyrantbehindme,SergeantBroughtonseizedmebythearm。’Stop,myboy,’
saidhe;’Ihavefrequentlyseenthatscampill—treatingyou;
nowIwillteachyouhowtosendhimhomewithabloodynose;
downwithyourbagofbooks;andnow,mygamechick,’
whisperedhetome,placinghimselfbetweenmeandmyadversary,sothathecouldnotobservehismotions;’clenchyourfistinthismanner,andholdyourarmsinthis,andwhenhestrikesatyou,movethemasInowshowyou,andhecan’thurtyou;now,don’tbeafraid,butgoathim。’I