HereIinterruptedthejockey。"Howsingular,"saidI,"isthefallanddebasementofwords;youtalkofagang,orset,ofshorters;youare,perhaps,notawarethatgangandsetwere,athousandyearsago,onlyconnectedwiththegreatandDivine;theyareancientNorsewords,whichmaybefoundintheheroicpoemsofthenorth,andintheEdda,acollectionofmythologicandheroicsongs。InthesepoemswereadthatsuchandsuchakinginvadedNorwaywithagangofheroes;orsoandso,forexample,ErikBloodaxe,wasadmittedtothesetofgods;butatpresentgangandsetaremerelyappliedtothevilestofthevile,andthelowestofthelow,—wesayagangofthievesandshorters,orasetofauthors。Howtouchingisthisdebasementofwordsinthecourseoftime;
itputsmeinmindofthedecayofoldhousesandnames。I
haveknownaMortimerwhowasahedgerandditcher,aBernerswhowasborninaworkhouse,andadescendantoftheDeBurghs,whoborethefalcon,mendingoldkettles,andmakinghorseandponyshoesinadingle。"
"Oddenough,"saidthejockey;"butyouweresayingyouknewoneBerners—manorwoman?Iwouldask。"
"Awoman,"saidI。
"WhatmightherChristiannamebe?"saidthejockey。
"Itisnottobementionedlightly,"saidI,withasigh。
"Ishouldn’twonderifitwereIsopel,"saidthejockeywithanarchglanceofhisonebrillianteye。
"ItwasIsopel,"saidI;"didyouknowIsopelBerners?"
"Ay,andhavereasontoknowher,"saidthejockey,puttinghishandintohisleftwaistcoatpocket,asiftofeelforsomething,"forshegavemewhatIbelievefewmencoulddo—
amostconfoundedwhopping。Butnow,Mr。RomanyRye,IhaveagaintotellyouthatIdon’tliketobeinterruptedwhenI’mspeaking,andtoaddthatifyoubreakinuponmeathirdtime,youandIshallquarrel。"
"Prayproceedwithyourstory,"saidI;"Iwillnotinterruptyouagain。"
"Good!"saidthejockey。"WherewasI?Oh,withasetofpeoplewhohadgivenuptheirmindstoshortening!Reducingthecoin,thoughratheralucrative,wasaverydangeroustrade。Coinfiledfeltroughtothetouch;coinclippedcouldbeeasilydetectedbytheeye;andasforcoinreducedbyaquafortis,itwasgenerallysodiscolouredthat,unlessagreatdealofpainswasusedtopolishit,peoplewereapttostareatitinastrangemanner,andtosay,’Whathavetheybeendoingtothisheregold?’Mygrandfather,asIhavesaidbefore,wasconnectedwithagangofshorters,andsometimesshortenedmoney,andatothertimespassedoffwhathadbeenshortenedbyothergentry。
"Passingoffwhathadbeenshortenedbyotherswashisruin;
foronce,intryingtopassoffabroadpiecewhichhadbeenlaidinaquafortisforfour—and—twentyhours,andwasveryblack,nothavingbeenproperlyrectified,hewasstoppedandsearched,andotherreducedcoinsbeingfoundabouthim,andinhislodgings,hewascommittedtoprison,tried,andexecuted。Hewasofferedhislife,providedhewouldbetrayhiscomrades;buthetoldthebig—wigs,whowantedhimtodoso,thathewouldseethemfartherfirst,anddiedatTyburn,amidstthecheersofthepopulace,leavingmygrandmotherandfather,towhomhehadalwaysbeenakindhusbandandparent—for,settingasidethecrimeforwhichhesuffered,hewasamoralman;leavingthem,Isay,tobewailhisirreparableloss。
"’Tissaidthatmisfortunenevercomesalone;thisis,however,notalwaysthecase。Shortlyaftermygrandfather’smisfortune,asmygrandmotherandhersonwerelivingingreatmiseryinSpitalfields,heronlyrelation—abrotherfromwhomshehadbeenestrangedsomeyears,onaccountofhermarriagewithmygrandfather,whohadbeeninaninferiorstationtoherself—died,leavingallhispropertytoherandthechild。Thispropertyconsistedofafarmofaboutahundredacres,withitsstock,andsomemoneybesides。Mygrandmother,whoknewsomethingofbusiness,instantlywentintothecountry,whereshefarmedthepropertyforherownbenefitandthatofherson,towhomshegaveaneducationsuitabletoapersoninhiscondition,tillhewasoldenoughtomanagethefarmhimself。Shortlyaftertheyoungmancameofage,mygrandmotherdied,andmyfather,inaboutayear,marriedthedaughterofafarmer,fromwhomheexpectedsomelittlefortune,butwhoverymuchdeceivedhim,becomingabankruptalmostimmediatelyafterthemarriageofhisdaughter,andhimselfandfamilygoingintotheworkhouse。
"Mymother,however,mademyfatheranexcellentwife;andifmyfatherinthelongrundidnotdowellitwasnofaultofhers。Myfatherwasnotabadmanbynature,hewasofaneasy,generoustemper,themostunfortunatetemper,bythebye,forsuccessinthislifethatanypersoncanbepossessedof,asthosewhohaveitarealmostsuretobemadedupesofbythedesigning。But,thougheasyandgenerous,hewasanythingbutafool;hehadaquickandwittytongueofhisownwhenhechosetoexertit,andwoebetothosewhoinsultedhimopenly,fortherewasnotabetterboxerinthewholecountryround。MyparentsweremarriedseveralyearsbeforeIcameintotheworld,whowastheirfirstandonlychild。Imaybecalledanunfortunatecreature;Iwasbornwiththisbeamorscaleonmylefteye,whichdoesnotallowmetoseewithit;andthoughIcanseetolerablysharplywiththeother,indeedmorethanmostpeoplecanwithbothoftheirs,itisagreatmisfortunenottohavetwoeyeslikeotherpeople。Moreover,settingasidetheaffairofmyeye,Ihadaveryuglycountenance;mymouthbeingslightlywrungaside,andmycomplexionswarthy。Infact,Ilookedsoqueerthatthegossipsandneighbours,whentheyfirstsawme,sworeIwasachangeling—perhapsitwouldhavebeenwellifIhadneverbeenborn;formypoorfather,whohadbeenparticularlyanxioustohaveason,nosoonersawmethanheturnedaway,wenttotheneighbouringtown,anddidnotreturnfortwodays。IambynomeanscertainthatIwasnotthecauseofhisruin,fortillIcameintotheworldhewasfondofhishome,andattendedmuchtobusiness,butafterwardshewentfrequentlyintocompany,anddidnotseemtocaremuchabouthisaffairs:hewas,however,akindman,andwhenhiswifegavehimadviceneverstruckher,nordoI
everrememberthathekickedmewhenIcameinhisway,orsomuchascursedmyuglyface,thoughitwaseasytoseethathedidn’tover—likeme。WhenIwassixyearsoldIwassenttothevillage—school,whereIwassoonbookedforadunce,becausethemasterfounditimpossibletoteachmeeithertoreadorwrite。BeforeIhadbeenatschooltwoyears,however,Ihadbeatenboysfouryearsolderthanmyself,andcouldflingastonewithmylefthand(forifIamright—eyedIamleft—handed)higherandfartherthananyoneintheparish。Moreover,noboycouldequalmeatriding,andnopeopleridesowellordesperatelyasboys。Icouldrideadonkey—athingfarmoredifficulttoridethanahorse—atfullgallopoverhedgesandditches,seated,orratherfloatinguponhishinderpart,—so,thoughanythingbutclever,asthishereRomanyRyewouldsay,Iwasyetabletodothingswhichfewotherpeoplecoulddo。BythetimeIwastenmyfather’saffairshadgotintoaverydesperatecondition,forhehadtakentogamblingandhorse—racing,and,beingunsuccessful,hadsoldhisstock,mortgagedhisestate,andincurredveryseriousdebts。Theupshotwas,thatwithinalittletimeallhehadwasseized,himselfimprisoned,andmymotherandmyselfputintoacottagebelongingtotheparish,which,beingverycoldanddamp,wasthecauseofhercatchingafever,whichspeedilycarriedheroff。Iwasthenboundapprenticetoafarmer,inwhoseserviceIunderwentmuchcoarsetreatment,cold,andhunger。
"Afterlyinginprisonneartwoyears,myfatherwasliberatedbyanActforthebenefitofinsolventdebtors;hewasthenlostsightofforsometime;atlast,however,hemadehisappearanceintheneighbourhooddressedlikeagentleman,andseeminglypossessedofplentyofmoney。Hecametoseeme,tookmeintoafield,andaskedmehowIwasgettingon。ItoldhimIwasdreadfullyused,andbeggedhimtotakemeawaywithhim;herefused,andtoldmetobesatisfiedwithmycondition,forthathecoulddonothingforme。Ihadagreatloveformyfather,andlikewiseagreatadmirationforhimonaccountofhischaracterasaboxer,theonlycharacterwhichboysingeneralregard,soIwishedmuchtobewithhim,independentlyofthedog’slifeIwasleadingwhereIwas;Ithereforesaidifhewouldnottakemewithhim,Iwouldfollowhim;herepliedthatImustdonosuchthing,forthatifIdid,itwouldbemyruin。Iaskedhimwhathemeant,buthemadenoreply,onlysayingthathewouldgoandspeaktothefarmer。Thentakingmewithhim,hewenttothefarmer,andinaverycivilmannersaidthatheunderstoodIhadnotbeenverykindlytreatedbyhim,buthehopedthatinfutureIshouldbeusedbetter。Thefarmeransweredinasurlytone,thatIhadbeenonlytoowelltreated,forthatIwasaworthlessyoungscoundrel;highwordsensued,andthefarmer,forgettingthekindofmanhehadtodealwith,checkedhimwithmygrandsire’smisfortune,andsaidhedeservedtobehangedlikehisfather。Inamomentmyfatherknockedhimdown,andonhisgettingup,gavehimaterriblebeating,thentakingmebythehandhehastenedaway;asweweregoingdownalanehesaidwewerenowbothdonefor:’Idon’tcareastrawforthat,father,’
saidI,’providedIbewithyou。’Myfathertookmetotheneighbouringtown,andgoingintotheyardofasmallinn,heorderedoutaponyandlightcartwhichbelongedtohim,thenpayinghisbill,hetoldmetomountupontheseat,andgettingupdroveawaylikelightning;wedroveforatleastsixhourswithoutstopping,tillwecametoacottagebythesideofaheath;weputtheponyandcartintoashed,andwentintothecottage,myfatherunlockingthedoorwithakeywhichhetookoutofhispocket;therewasnobodyinthecottagewhenwearrived,butshortlyaftertherecameamanandawoman,andthensomemorepeople,andbyteno’clockatnighttherewereadozenofusinthecottage。Thepeoplewerecompanionsofmyfather。MyfatherbegantalkingtotheminLatin,butIdidnotunderstandmuchofthediscourse,thoughIbelieveitwasaboutmyself,astheireyeswerefrequentlyturnedtome。Someobjectionsappearedtobemadetowhathesaid;however,allatlastseemedtobesettled,andweallsatdowntosomefood。Afterthat,allthepeoplegotupandwentaway,withtheexceptionofthewoman,whoremainedwithmyfatherandme。Thenextdaymyfatheralsodeparted,leavingmewiththewoman,tellingmebeforehewentthatshewouldteachmesomethingswhichitbehovedmetoknow。Iremainedwithherinthecottageupwardsofaweek;severalofthosewhohadbeentherecomingandgoing。Thewoman,aftermakingmetakeanoathtobefaithful,toldmethatthepeoplewhomIhadseenwereagangwhogottheirlivelihoodbypassingforgednotes,andthatmyfatherwasaprincipalmanamongstthem,adding,thatImustdomybesttoassistthem。Iwasapoorignorantchildatthattime,andImadenoobjection,thinkingthatwhatevermyfatherdidmustberight;thewomanthengavemesomeinstructionsinthesmasher’sdialectoftheLatinlanguage。
Imadegreatprogress,because,forthefirsttimeinmylife,Ipaidgreatattentiontomylessons。Atlastmyfatherreturned,and,aftersomeconversationwiththewoman,tookmeawayinhiscart。Ishallbeveryshortaboutwhathappenedtomyfatherandmyselfduringtwoyears。MyfatherdidhisbesttosmashtheBankofEnglandbypassingforgednotes,andIdidmybesttoassisthim。Weattendedracesandfairsinallkindsofdisguises;myfatherwasafirst—
ratehandatadisguise,andcouldappearofallages,fromtwentytofourscore;hewas,however,grabbedatlast。Hehadsaid,asIhavetoldyou,thatheshouldbemyruin,butIwasthecauseofhis,andallowingtothemisfortuneofthishereeyeofmine。WecametothisveryplaceofHorncastle,wheremyfatherpurchasedtwohorsesofayoungman,payingforthemwiththreeforgednotes,purportingtobeBankofEnglandersoffiftypoundseach,andgottheyoungmantochangeanotherofthelikeamount;heatthattimeappearedasarespectabledealer,andIashisson,asI
reallywas。
"Assoonaswehadgotthehorses,weconveyedthemtooneoftheplacesofcallbelongingtoourgang,ofwhichtherewereseveral。Theretheyweredeliveredintothehandsofourcompanions,whospeedilysoldtheminadistantpartofthecountry。Thesumwhichtheyfetched—forthegangkeptveryregularaccounts—formedanimportantitemonthenextdayofsharing,ofwhichthereweretwelveintheyear。Theyoungman,whommyfatherhadpaidforthehorseswithhissmashingnotes,wassoonintroubleaboutthem,andransomerisk,asIheard,ofbeingexecuted;butheboreagoodcharacter,toldaplainstory,and,aboveall,hadfriends,andwasadmittedtobail;tooneofhisfriendshedescribedmyfatherandmyself。ThispersonhappenedtobeataninninYorkshire,wheremyfather,disguisedasaQuaker,attemptedtopassaforgednote。Thenotewasshowntothisindividual,whopronounceditaforgery,itbeingexactlysimilartothoseforwhichtheyoungmanhadbeenintrouble,andwhichhehadseen。Myfather,however,beingsupposedarespectableman,becausehewasdressedasaQuaker—theveryreason,bythebye,whyanybodywhoknewaughtoftheQuakerswouldhavesuspectedhimtobearogue—wouldhavebeenletgo,hadInotmademyappearance,dressedashisfootboy。Thefriendoftheyoungmanlookedatmyeye,andseizedholdofmyfather,whomadeadesperateresistance,I
assistinghim,asindutybound。Being,however,overpoweredbynumbers,hebademebyalook,andawordortwoinLatin,tomakemyselfscarce。Thoughmyheartwasfittobreak,I
obeyedmyfather,whowasspeedilycommitted。Ifollowedhimtothecountytowninwhichhewaslodged,whereshortlyafterIsawhimtried,convicted,andcondemned。Ithen,havingmadefriendswiththejailor’swife,visitedhiminhiscell,whereIfoundhimverymuchcastdown。Hesaid,thatmymotherhadappearedtohiminadream,andtalkedtohimaboutaresurrectionandChristJesus;therewasaBiblebeforehim,andhetoldmethechaplainhadjustbeenprayingwithhim。Hereproachedhimselfmuch,saying,hewasafraidhehadbeenmyruin,byteachingmebadhabits。Itoldhimnottosayanysuchthing,forthatIhadbeenthecauseofhis,owingtothemisfortuneofmyeye。Hebeggedmetogiveoverallunlawfulpursuits,saying,thatifpersistedin,theyweresureofbringingapersontodestruction。I
advisedhimtotryandmakehisescape,proposing,thatwhentheturnkeycametoletmeout,heshouldknockhimdown,andfighthiswayout,offeringtoassisthim;showinghimasmallsaw,withwhichoneofourcompanions,whowasintheneighbourhood,hadprovidedme,andwithwhichhecouldhavecutthroughhisfettersinfiveminutes;buthetoldmehehadnowishtoescape,andwasquitewillingtodie。Iwasratherhardatthattime;Iamnotverysoftnow;andIfeltratherashamedofmyfather’swantofwhatIcalledspirit。
Hewasnotexecutedafterall;forthechaplain,whowasconnectedwithagreatfamily,stoodhisfriend,andgothissentencecommuted,astheycallit,totransportation;andinordertomakethemattereasy,heinducedmyfathertomakesomevaluabledisclosureswithrespecttothesmashers’
system。IconfessthatIwouldhavebeenhangedbeforeI
wouldhavedoneso,afterhavingreapedtheprofitofit;
thatis,Ithinksonow,seatedcomfortablyinmyinn,withmybottleofchampagnebeforeme。He,however,didnotshowhimselfcarrion;hewouldnotbetrayhiscompanions,whohadbehavedveryhandsomelytohim,havinggiventhesonofalord,agreatbarrister,notahundred—poundforgedbill,butahundredhardguineas,topleadhiscause,andanotherten,toinducehim,afterpleading,toputhishandtohisbreast,andsay,that,uponhishonour,hebelievedtheprisoneratthebartobeanhonestandinjuredman。No;Iamgladtobeabletosay,thatmyfatherdidnotshowhimselfexactlycarrion,thoughIcouldalmosthavewishedhehadlethimself—However,IamherewithmybottleofchampagneandtheRomanyRye,andhewasinhiscell,withbreadandwaterandtheprisonchaplain。Hetookanaffectionateleaveofmebeforehewassentaway,givingmethreeoutoffiveguineas,allthemoneyhehadleft。Hewasakindman,butnotexactlyfittedtofillmygrandfather’sshoes。Iafterwardslearnedthathediedoffever,ashewasbeingcarriedacrossthesea。
"Duringthe’sizesIhadmadeacquaintancewitholdFulcher。
Iwasinthetownonmyfather’saccount,andhewasthereonhisson’s,who,havingcommittedasmalllarceny,wasintrouble。YoungFulcher,however,unlikemyfather,gotoff,thoughhedidnotgivethesonofalordahundredguineastospeakforhim,andtenmoretopledgehissacredhonourforhishonesty,butgaveCounsellorP—one—and—twentyshillingstodefendhim,whosofrightenedtheprincipalevidence,aplainhonestfarming—man,thatheflatlycontradictedwhathehadfirstsaid,andatlastacknowledgedhimselftobealltheroguesintheworld,and,amongstotherthings,aperjuredvillain。OldFulcher,beforeheleftthetownwithhisson,—andhereitwillbewelltosaythatheandhissonleftitinakindoftriumph,thebasedrummerofamilitiaregiment,towhomtheyhadgivenhalf—a—crown,beatinghisdrumbeforethem—oldFulcher,Isay,askedmetogoandvisithim,tellingmewhere,atsuchatime,I
mightfindhimandhiscaravanandfamily;offering,ifI
thoughtfit,toteachmebasket—making:so,aftermyfatherhadbeensentoff,IwentandfoundupoldFulcher,andbecamehisapprenticeinthebasket—makingline。Istayedwithhimtillthetimeofhisdeath,whichhappenedinaboutthreemonths,travellingaboutwithhimandhisfamily,andlivingingreenlanes,wherewesawgypsiesandtrampers,andallkindsofstrangecharacters。OldFulcher,besidesbeinganindustriousbasket—maker,wasanout—and—outthief,aswasalsohisson,and,indeed,everymemberofhisfamily。Theyusedtomakebasketsduringtheday,andthieveduringagreatpartofthenight。IhadnotbeenwiththemtwelvehoursbeforeoldFulchertoldmethatImustthieveaswellastherest。Idemurredatfirst,forIrememberedthefateofmyfather,andwhathehadtoldmeaboutleavingoffbadcourses,butsoonallowedmyselftobeover—persuaded;moreespeciallyasthefirstrobberyIwasaskedtodowasafruitrobbery。IwastogowithyoungFulcher,andstealsomefineMorellcherries,whichgrewagainstawallinagentleman’sgarden;soyoungFulcherandIwentandstolethecherries,onehalfofwhichweate,andgavetheresttotheoldman,whosoldthemtoafruiterertenmilesofffromtheplacewherewehadstolenthem。ThenextnightoldFulchertookmeoutwithhimself。Hewasagreatthief,thoughinasmallway。Heusedtosay,thattheywerefools,whodidnotalwaysmanagetokeeptheropebelowtheirshoulders,bywhichhemeant,thatitwasnotadvisabletocommitarobbery,ordoanythingwhichcouldbringyoutothegallows。
Hewasallforpettylarceny,andknewwheretoputhishanduponanylittlethinginEngland,whichitwaspossibletosteal。IsubmitittothebetterjudgmentoftheRomanyRye,whoIseeisagreathandforwordsandnames,whetherheoughtnottohavebeencalledoldFilcher,insteadofFulcher。Ishan’tgivearegularaccountofthelarcenieshecommittedduringtheshorttimeIknewhim,eitheralonebyhimself,orwithmeandhisson。Ishallmerelyrelatethelast。
"Amelancholygentleman,wholivedaverysolitarylife,hadalargecarpinashadypondinameadowclosetohishouse;
hewasexceedinglyfondofit,andusedtofeeditwithhisownhand,thecreaturebeingsotamethatitwouldputitssnoutoutofthewatertobefedwhenitwaswhistledto;
feedingandlookingathiscarpweretheonlypleasuresthepoormelancholygentlemanpossessed。OldFulcher—beingintheneighbourhood,andhavinganorderfromafishmongerforalargefish,whichwaswantedatagreatcitydinner,atwhichHisMajestywastobepresent—sworehewouldstealthecarp,andaskedmetogowithhim。Ihadheardofthegentleman’sfondnessforhiscreature,andbeggedhimtoletitbe,advisinghimtogoandstealsomeotherfish;butoldFulcherswore,andsaidhewouldhavethecarp,althoughitsmastershouldhanghimself;Itoldhimhemightgobyhimself,buthetookhissonandstolethecarp,whichweighedseventeenpounds。OldFulchergotthirtyshillingsforthecarp,whichIafterwardsheardwasmuchadmiredandrelishedbyHisMajesty。Themaster,however,ofthecarp,onlosinghisfavourite,becamemoremelancholythanever,andinalittletimehangedhimself。’What’ssportforone,isdeathtoanother,’Ionceheardatthevillage—schoolreadoutofacopy—book。
"ThiswasthelastlarcenyoldFulcherevercommitted。Hecouldkeephisneckalwaysoutofthenoose,buthecouldnotalwayskeephislegoutofthetrap。Afewnightsafter,havingremovedtoadistance,hewenttoanosiercarinordertostealsomeosiersforhisbasket—making,forheneverboughtany。Ifollowedalittlewaybehind。OldFulcherhadfrequentlystolenosiersoutofthecar,whilstintheneighbourhood,butduringhisabsencetheproperty,ofwhichthecarwasapart,hadbeenlettoayounggentleman,agreathandforpreservinggame。OldFulcherhadnotgotfarintothecarbeforeheputhisfootintoaman—trap。
HearingoldFulchershriek,Iranup,andfoundhiminadreadfulcondition。PuttingalargestickwhichIcarriedintothejawsofthetrap,Icontrivedtoprizethemopen,andgetoldFulcher’slegout,butthelegwasbroken。SoI
rantothecaravan,andtoldyoungFulcherofwhathadhappened,andheandIhelpedhisfatherhome。Adoctorwassentfor,whosaidthatitwasnecessarytotakethelegoff,butoldFulcher,beingverymuchafraidofpain,saiditshouldnotbetakenoff,andthedoctorwentaway,butaftersomedays,oldFulcherbecomingworse,orderedthedoctortobesentfor,whocameandtookoffhisleg,butitwasthentoolate,mortificationhadcomeon,andinalittletimeoldFulcherdied。
"ThusperishedoldFulcher;hewassucceededinhisbusinessbyhisson,youngFulcher,who,immediatelyafterthedeathofhisfather,wascalledoldFulcher,itbeingourEnglishcustomtocalleverybodyold,assoonastheirfathersareburied;youngFulcher—Imeanhewhohadbeencalledyoung,butwasnowoldFulcher—wantedmetogooutandcommitlarcenieswithhim;butItoldhimthatIwouldhavenothingmoretodowiththieving,havingseentheilleffectsofit,andthatIshouldleavetheminthemorning。OldFulcherbeggedmetothinkbetterofit,andhismotherjoinedwithhim。Theyoffered,ifIwouldstay,togivemeMaryFulcherasamort,tillsheandIwereoldenoughtoberegularlymarried,shebeingthedaughteroftheone,andthesisteroftheother。Ilikedthegirlverywell,forshehadalwaysbeenciviltome,andhadafaircomplexionandniceredhair,bothofwhichIlike,beingabitofablackmyself;
butIrefused,beingdeterminedtoseesomethingmoreoftheworldthanIcouldhopetodowiththeFulchers,and,moreover,tolivehonestly,whichIcouldneverdoalongwiththem。SothenextmorningIleftthem:Iwas,asIsaidbefore,quitedetermineduponanhonestlivelihood,andI
soonfoundone。HeisagreatfoolwhoiseverdishonestinEngland。Anypersonwhohasanynaturalgift,andeverybodyhassomenaturalgift,issureoffindingencouragementinthisnoblecountryofours,providedhewillbutexhibitit。
IhadnotwalkedmorethanthreemilesbeforeIcametoawonderfullyhighchurchsteeple,whichstoodclosebytheroad;Ilookedatthesteeple,andgoingtoaheapofsmoothpebbleswhichlaybytheroadside,Itookupsome,andthenwentintothechurchyard,andplacingmyselfjustbelowthetower,myrightfootrestingonaledge,abouttwofootfromtheground,I,withmylefthand—beingaleft—handedperson,doyousee—flungorchuckedupastone,which,lightingonthetopofthesteeple,whichwasatleastahundredandfiftyfeethigh,didthereremain。Afterrepeatingthisfeattwoorthreetimes,I’hulled’upastone,whichwentcleanoverthetower,andthenone,myrightfootstillontheledge,whichrisingatleastfiveyardsabovethesteeple,didfalldownjustatmyfeet。
Withoutknowingit,Iwasshowingoffmygifttoothersbesidesmyself,doingwhat,perhaps,notfivemeninEnglandcoulddo。Twomen,whowerepassingby,stoppedandlookedatmyproceedings,andwhenIhaddoneflingingcameintothechurchyard,and,afterpayingmeacomplimentonwhattheyhadseenmedo,proposedthatIshouldjoincompanywiththem;Iaskedthemwhotheywere,andtheytoldme。TheonewasHoppingNed,andtheotherBitingGiles。Bothhadtheirgifts,bywhichtheygottheirlivelihood;NedcouldhopahundredyardswithanymaninEngland,andGilescouldliftupwithhisteethanydresserorkitchen—tableinthecountry,and,standingerect,holditdanglinginhisjaws。
There’smanyabigoaktableanddresserincertaindistrictsofEngland,whichbearthemarksofGiles’steeth;andImakenodoubtthat,ahundredortwoyearshence,there’llbestrangestoriesaboutthosemarks,andthatpeoplewillpointthemoutasaproofthatthereweregiantsinbygonetime,andthatmanyadentistwillmoralizeonthedecayswhichhumanteethhaveundergone。
"Theywantedmetogoaboutwiththem,andexhibitmygiftoccasionally,astheydidtheirs,promisingthatthemoneythatwasgotbytheexhibitionsshouldbehonestlydivided。
Iconsented,andwesetofftogether,andthateveningcomingtoavillage,andputtingupattheale—house,allthegrandfolksofthevillagebeingtheresmokingtheirpipes,wecontrivedtointroducethesubjectofhopping—theupshotbeingthatNedhoppedagainsttheschool—masterforapound,andbeathimhollow;shortlyafter,Giles,forawager,tookupthekitchentableinhisjaws,thoughhehadtopayashillingtothelandladyforthemarksheleft,whosegrandchildrenwillperhapsgetmoneybyexhibitingthem。Asformyself,Ididnothingthatday,butthenext,onwhichmycompanionsdidnothing,Ishowedoffathullingstonesagainstacripple,thecrackmanforstone—throwing,ofasmalltown,afewmilesfartheron。Betsweremadetothetuneofsomepounds;Icontrivedtobeatthecripple,andjustcontrived;fortodohimjusticeImustacknowledgehewasafirst—ratehandatstones,thoughhehadagamehip,andwentsideways;hishead,whenhewalked—ifhismovementscouldbecalledwalking—notbeingabovethreefeetabovetheground。Sowetravelled,Iandmycompanions,showingoffourgifts,GilesandIoccasionallyforagathering,butNedneverhopping,unlessagainstsomebodyforawager。Welivedhonestlyandcomfortably,makingnolittlemoneybyournaturalendowments,andwereknownoveragreatpartofEnglandas’HoppingNed,’’BitingGiles,’and’HullovertheHeadJack,’whichwasmyname,itbeingtheblackguardfashionoftheEnglish,doyousee,to—"
HereIinterruptedthejockey。"Youmaycallitablackguardfashion,"saidI,"andIdaresayitis,oritwouldscarcelybeEnglish;butitisanimmenselyancientone,andishandeddowntousfromournorthernancestry,especiallytheDanes,whowereinthehabitofgivingpeoplesurnames,orrathernicknames,fromsomequalityofbodyormind,butgenerallyfromsomedisadvantageouspeculiarityoffeature;forthereisnodenyingthattheEnglish,Norse,orwhateverwemaypleasetocallthem,areanenvious,depreciatorysetofpeople,whonotonlygivetheirpoorcomrades