Therewasanangrygleaminthehunter’seye,butheturnedonhisheelandenteredthesteeragecompanionway,whereheremained,lookingupward。
Allhandswereondecknow,andalleyeswerealoft,whereahumanlifewasatgrappleswithdeath。Thecallousnessofthesemen,towhomindustrialorganizationgavecontrolofthelivesofothermen,wasappalling。I,whohadlivedoutofthewhirloftheworld,hadneverdreamedthatitsworkwascarriedoninsuchfashion。Lifehadalwaysseemedapeculiarlysacredthing,buthereitcountedfornothing,wasacipherinthearithmeticofcommerce。Imustsay,however,thatthesailorsthemselvesweresympathetic,asinstancethecaseofJohnson;butthemasters,(thehuntersandthecaptain),wereheartlesslyindifferent。EventheprotestofStandisharoseoutofthefactthathedidnotwishtolosehisboat—puller。Haditbeensomeotherhunter’sboat—puller,he,likethem,wouldhavebeennomorethanamused。
ButtoreturntoHarrison。IttookJohansen,insultingandrevilingthepoorwretch,fullytenminutestogethimstartedagain。Alittlelaterhemadetheendofthegaff,where,astridethesparitself,hehadabetterchanceforholdingon。Heclearedthesheet,andwasfreetoreturn,slightlydown—hillnow,alongthehalyardstothemast。Buthehadlosthisnerve。
Unsafeaswashispresentposition,hewasloathtoforsakeitforthemoreunsafepositiononthehalyards。
Helookedalongtheairypathhemusttraverse,andthendowntothedeck。Hiseyeswerewideandstaring,andhewastremblingviolently。I
hadneverseenfearsostronglystampeduponahumanface。Johansencalledvainlyforhimtocomedown。Atanymomenthewasliabletobesnappedoffthegaff,buthewashelplesswithfright。WolfLarsen,walkingupanddownwithSmokeandinconversation,tooknomorenoticeofhim,thoughhecriedsharply,once,tothemanatthewheel:——
"You’reoffyourcourse,myman!Becareful,unlessyou’relookingfortrouble!"
"Ay,ay,sir,"thehelmsmanresponded,puttingacoupleofspokesdown。
HehadbeenguiltyofrunningtheGhostseveralpointsoffhercourseinorderthatwhatlittlewindtherewasshouldfilltheforesailandholditsteady。HehadstriventohelptheunfortunateHarrisonattheriskofincurringWolfLarsen’sanger。
Thetimewentby,andthesuspense,tome,wasterrible。ThomasMugridge,ontheotherhand,considereditalaughableaffair,andwascontinuallybobbinghisheadoutthegalleydoortomakejocoseremarks。HowIhatedhim!Andhowmyhatredforhimgrewandgrew,duringthatfearfultime,tocyclopeandimensions。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeIexperiencedthedesiretomurder——"sawred,"assomeofourpicturesquewritersphraseit。Lifeingeneralmightstillbesacred,butlifeintheparticularcaseofThomasMugridgehadbecomeveryprofaneindeed。IwasfrightenedwhenIbecameconsciousthatwasseeingred,andthethoughtflashedthroughmymind:wasI,too,becomingtaintedbythebrutalityofmyenvironment?
——I,whoeveninthemostflagrantcrimeshaddeniedthejusticeandrighteousnessofcapitalpunishment?
Fullyhalfanhourwentby,andthenIsawJohnsonandLouisinsomesortofaltercation。ItendedwithJohnsonflingingoffLouis’sdetainingarmandstartingforward。Hecrossedthedeck,sprangintotheforerigging,andbegantoclimb。ButthequickeyeofWolfLarsencaughthim。
"Here,you,whatareyouupto?"hecried。
Johnson’sascentwasarrested。Helookedhiscaptainintheeyesandrepliedslowly:——
"Iamgoingtogetthatboydown。"
"You’llgetdownoutofthatrigging,anddamnlivelyaboutit!D’yehear?Getdown!"
Johnsonhesitated,butthelongyearsofobediencetothemastersofshipsoverpoweredhim,andhedroppedsullenlytothedeckandwentonforward。
AthalfafterfiveIwentbelowtosetthecabintable,buthardlyknewwhatIdid,formyeyesandbrainwerefilledwiththevisionofaman,white—facedandtrembling,comicallylikeabug,clingingtothethrashinggaff。Atsixo’clock,whenIservedsupper,goingondecktogetthefoodfromthegalley,IsawHarrison,stillinthesameposition。Theconversationatthetablewasofotherthings。Nobodyseemedinterestedinthewantonlyimperilledlife。Butmakinganextratriptothegalleyalittlelater,IwasgladdenedbythesightofHarrisonstaggeringweaklyfromtheriggingtotheforecastlescuttle。Hehadfinallysummonedthecouragetodescend。
Beforeclosingthisincident,ImustgiveascrapofconversationI
hadwithWolfLarseninthecabin,whileIwaswashingthedishes。
"Youwerelookingsqueamishthisafternoon,"hebegan。"Whatwasthematter?"
IcouldseethatheknewwhathadmademepossiblyassickasHarrison,thathewastryingtodrawme,andIanswered,"Itwasbecauseofthebrutaltreatmentofthatboy。"
Hegaveashortlaugh。"Likeseasickness,Isuppose。Somemenaresubjecttoit,andothersarenot。"
"Notso,"Iobjected。
"Justso,"hewenton。"Theearthisasfullofbrutalityastheseaisfullofmotion。Andsomemenaremadesickbytheone,andsomebytheother。That’stheonlyreason。"
"Butyou,whomakeamockofhumanlife,don’tyouplaceanyvalueuponitwhatever?"Idemanded。
"Value?Whatvalue?"Helookedatme,andthoughhiseyesweresteadyandmotionless,thereseemedacynicalsmileinthem。"Whatkindofvalue?
Howdoyoumeasureit?Whovaluesit?"
"Ido,"Imadeanswer。
"Thenwhatisitworthtoyou?Anotherman’slife,Imean。Come,now,whatisitworth?"
Thevalueoflife?HowcouldIputatangiblevalueuponit?Somehow,I,whohavealwayshadexpression,lackedexpressionwhenwithWolfLarsen。
Ihavesincedeterminedthatapartofitwasduetotheman’spersonality,butthatthegreaterpartwasduetohistotallydifferentoutlook。UnlikeothermaterialistsIhadmetandwithwhomhadsomethingincommontostarton,Ihadnothingincommonwithhim。Perhaps,also,itwastheelementalsimplicityofhismindthatbaffledme。Hedrovesodirectlytothecoreofthematter,divestingaquestionalwaysofallsuperfluousdetails,andwithsuchanairoffinality,thatIseemedtofindmyselfstrugglingindeepwaterwithnofootingunderme。Valueoflife?HowcouldIanswerthequestiononthespurofthemoment?ThesacrednessoflifeIhadacceptedasaxiomatic。ThatitwasintrinsicallyvaluablewasatruismIhadneverquestioned。ButwhenhechallengedthetruismIwasspeechless。
"Weweretalkingaboutthisyesterday,"hesaid。"Iheldthatlifewasaferment,ayeastysomethingwhichdevouredlifethatitmightlive,andthatlivingwasmerelysuccessfulpiggishness。Why,ifthereisanythinginsupplyanddemand,lifeisthecheapestthingintheworld。Thereisonlysomuchwater,somuchearth,somuchair;butthelifethatisdemandingtobebornislimitless。Natureisaspendthrift。Lookatthefishandtheirmillionsofeggs。Forthatmatter,lookatyouandme。Inourloinsarethepossibilitiesofmillionsoflives。Couldwebutfindtimeandopportunityandutilizethelastbitandeverybitoftheunbornlifethatisinus,wecouldbecomethefathersofnationsandpopulatecontinents。
Life?Bah!Ithasnovalue。Ofcheapthingsitisthecheapest。Everywhereitgoesbegging。Naturespillsitoutwithalavishhand。Wherethereisroomforonelife,shesowsathousandlives,andit’slifeeatslifetillthestrongestandmostpiggishlifeisleft。"
"YouhavereadDarwin,"Isaid。"Butyoureadhimmisunderstandinglywhenyouconcludethatthestruggleforexistencesanctionsyourwantondestructionoflife。"
Heshruggedhisshoulders。"Youknowyouonlymeanthatinrelationtohumanlife,forofthefleshandthefowlandthefishyoudestroyasmuchasIoranyotherman。Andhumanlifeisinnowisedifferent,thoughyoufeelitisandthinkthatyoureasonwhyitis。WhyshouldIbeparsimoniouswiththislifewhichischeapandwithoutvalue?Therearemoresailorsthanthereareshipsontheseaforthem,moreworkersthantherearefactoriesormachinesforthem。Why,youwholiveonthelandknowthatyouhouseyourpoorpeopleintheslumsofcitiesandloosefamineandpestilenceuponthem,andthattherestillremainmorepoorpeople,dyingforwantofacrustofbreadandabitofmeat,(whichislifedestroyed),thanyouknowwhattodowith。HaveyoueverseentheLondondockersfightinglikewildbeastsforachancetowork?"
Hestartedforthecompanionstairs,butturnedhisheadforafinalword。"Doyouknowtheonlyvaluelifehasiswhatlifeputsuponitself?
Anditisofcourseoverestimated,sinceitisofnecessityprejudicedinitsownfavor。TakethatmanIhadaloft。Heheldonasifhewereapreciousthing,atreasurebeyonddiamondsorrubies。Toyou?No。Tome?
Notatall。Tohimself?Yes。ButIdonotaccepthisestimate。Hesadlyoverrateshimself。Thereisplentymorelifedemandingtobeborn。Hadhefallenanddrippedhisbrainsuponthedecklikehoneyfromthecomb,therewouldhavebeennolosstotheworld。Hewasworthnothingtotheworld。Thesupplyistoolarge。Tohimselfonlywasheofvalue,andtoshowhowfictitiouseventhisvaluewas,beingdeadheisunconsciousthathehaslosthimself。Healoneratedhimselfbeyonddiamondsandrubies。
Diamondsandrubiesaregone,spreadoutonthedecktobewashedawaybyabucketofsea—water,andhedoesnotevenknowthatthediamondsandrubiesaregone。Hedoesnotloseanything,forwiththelossofhimselfhelosestheknowledgeofloss。Don’tyousee?Andwhathaveyoutosay?"
"Thatyouareatleastconsistent,"wasallIcouldsay,andwentonwashingthedishes。TheSeaWolf:Chapter7CHAPTER7
Atlast,afterthreedaysofvariablewinds,wehavecaughtthenortheasttrades。Icameondeck,afteragoodnight’srestinspiteofmypoorknee,tofindtheGhostfoamingalong,wing—and—wing,andeverysaildrawingexceptthejibs,withafreshbreezeastern。Oh,thewonderofthegreattrade—wind!Alldaywesailed,andallnight,andthenextday,andthenext,dayafterday,thewindalwaysasternandblowingsteadilyandstrong。
Theschoonersailedherself。Therewasnopullingandhaulingonsheetsandtackles,noshiftingoftopsails,noworkatallforthesailorstodoexcepttosteer。Atnightwhenthesunwentdown,thesheetswereslackened;
inthemorning,whentheyyieldedupthedampofthedewandrelaxed,theywerepulledtightagain——andthatwasall。
Tenknots,twelveknots,elevenknots,varyingfromtimetotime,isthespeedwearemaking。Andeveroutofthenortheastthebravewindblows,drivingusonourcoursetwohundredandfiftymilesbetweenthedawns。
Itsaddensmeandgladdensme,thegaitwithwhichweareleavingSanFranciscobehindandwithwhichwearefoamingdownuponthetropics。Eachdaygrowsperceptiblywarmer。Intheseconddog—watchthesailorscomeondeck,stripped,andheavebucketsofwaterupononeanotherfromoverside。Flying—fisharebeginningtobeseen,andduringthenightthewatchabovescramblesoverthedeckinpursuitofthosethatfallaboard。Inthemorning,ThomasMugridgebeingdulybribed,thegalleyispleasantlyareekwiththeodoroftheirfrying;whiledolphinmeatisservedforeandaftonsuchoccasionsasJohnsoncatchestheblazingbeautiesfromthebowspritend。
Johnsonseemstospendallhissparetimethereoraloftatthecrosstrees,watchingtheGhostcleavingthewaterunderpressofsail。Thereispassion,adoration,inhiseyes,andhegoesaboutinasortoftrance,gazinginecstasyattheswellingsails,thefoamingwake,andtheheaveandtherunofherovertheliquidmountainsthataremovingwithusinstatelyprocession。
Thedaysandnightsare"allawonderandawilddelight,"andthoughIhavelittletimefrommydrearywork,IstealoddmomentstogazeandgazeattheunendinggloryofwhatIneverdreamedtheworldpossessed。
Above,theskyisstainlessblue——blueastheseaitself,whichundertheforefootisofthecolorandsheenofazuresatin。Allaroundthehorizonarepale,fleecyclouds,neverchanging,nevermoving,likeasilversettingfortheflawlessturquoisesky。
Idonotforgetonenight,whenIshouldhavebeenasleep,oflyingontheforecastle—headandgazingdownatthespectralrippleoffoamthrustasidebytheGhost’sforefoot。Itsoundedlikethegurglingofabrookovermossystonesinsomequietdell,andthecrooningsongofitluredmeawayandoutofmyselftillIwasnolongerHumpthecabin—boy,norVanWeyden,themanwhohaddreamedawaythirty—fiveyearsamongbooks。
Butavoicebehindme,theunmistakablevoiceofWolfLarsen,strongwiththeinvinciblecertitudeofthemanandmellowwithappreciationofthewordshewasquoting,arousedme。"`Otheblazingtropicnight,whenthewake’saweltoflightThatholdsthehotskytame,Andthesteadyforefootsnoresthroughtheplanet—powderedfloorsWherethescaredwhaleflukesinflame。Herplatesarescarredbythesun,dearlass,Andherropesaretautwiththedew,Forwe’reboomingdownontheoldtrail,ourowntrail,theouttrail,We’resaggingsouthontheLongTrail——thetrailthatisalwaysnew。’"
"Eh,Hump?How’sitstrikeyou?"heasked,aftertheduepausewhichwordsandsettingdemanded。
Ilookedintohisface。Itwasaglowwithlight,astheseaitself,andtheeyeswereflashinginthestarshine。
"Itstrikesmeasremarkable,tosaytheleast,thatyoushouldshowenthusiasm,"Iansweredcoldly。
"Why,man,it’sliving!it’slife!"hecried。
"Whichisacheapthingandwithoutvalue,"Iflunghiswordsathim。
Helaughed,anditwasthefirsttimeIhadheardhonestmirthinhisvoice。
"Ah,Icannotgetyoutounderstand,cannotdriveitintoyourhead,whatathingthislifeis。Ofcourselifeisvalueless,excepttoitself。
AndIcantellyouthatmylifeisprettyvaluablejustnow——tomyself。
Itisbeyondprice,whichyouwillacknowledgeisaterrificoverrating,butwhichIcannothelp,foritisthelifethatisinmethatmakestherating。"
Heappearedwaitingforthewordswithwhichtoexpressthethoughtthatwasinhim,andfinallywenton。
"Doyouknow,Iamfilledwithastrangeuplift;Ifeelasifalltimewereechoingthroughme,asthoughallpowersweremine。knowtruth,divinegoodfromevil,rightfromwrong。Myvisionisclearandfar。IcouldalmostbelieveinGod。But,"——andhisvoicechangedandthelightwentoutofhisface,——"whatisthisconditioninwhichIfindmyself?thisjoyofliving?thisexultationoflife?thisinspiration,Imaywellcallit?
Itiswhatcomeswhenthereisnothingwrongwithone’sdigestion,whenhisstomachisintrimandhisappetitehasanedge,andallgoeswell。
Itisthebribeforliving,thechampagneoftheblood,theeffervescenceoftheferment——thatmakessomementhinkholythoughts,andothermentoseeGodortocreatehimwhentheycannotseehim。Thatisall,thedrunkennessoflife,thestirringandcrawlingoftheyeast,thebabblingofthelifethatisinsanewithconsciousnessthatitisalive。And——
bah!To—morrowIshallpayforitasthedrunkardpays。AndIshallknowthatmustdie,atseamostlikely,ceasecrawlingofmyselftobeallacrawlwiththecorruptionofthesea;tobefedupon,tobecarrion,toyieldupallthestrengthandmovementofmymusclesthatitmaybecomestrengthandmovementinfinandscaleandthegutsoffishes。Bah!Andbah!again。
Thechampagneisalreadyflat。Thesparkleandbubblehasgoneoutanditisatastelessdrink。"
Heleftmeassuddenlyashehadcome,springingtothedeckwiththeweightandsoftnessofatiger。TheGhostploughedonherway。I
notedthegurglingforefootwasverylikeasnore,andasIlistenedtoittheeffectofWolfLarsen’sswiftrushfromsublimeexultationtodespairslowlyleftme。Thensomedeep—watersailor,fromthewaistoftheship,liftedarichtenorvoiceinthe"SongoftheTradeWind:""Oh,Iamthewindtheseamenlove——Iamsteady,andstrong,andtrue;Theyfollowmytrackbythecloudsabove,O’erthefathomlesstropicblue。******ThroughdaylightanddarkIfollowthebark,Ikeeplikeahoundonhertrail;I’mstrongestatnoon,yetunderthemoon,Istiffenthebuntofhersail。"TheSeaWolf:Chapter8CHAPTER8
SometimesIthinkWolfLarsenmad,orhalf—madatleast,whatofhisstrangemoodsandvagaries。AtothertimesItakehimforagreatman,ageniuswhohasneverarrived。And,finally,Iamconvincedthatheistheperfecttypeoftheprimitiveman,bornathousandyearsorgenerationstoolateandananachronisminthisculminatingcenturyofcivilization。
Heiscertainlyanindividualistofthemostpronouncedtype。Notonlythat,butheisverylonely。Thereisnocongenialitybetweenhimandtherestofthemenaboardship。Histremendousvirilityandmentalstrengthwallhimapart。Theyaremorelikechildrentohim,eventhehunters,andaschildrenhetreatsthem,descendingperforcetotheirlevelandplayingwiththemasamanplayswithpuppies。Orelseheprobesthemwiththecruelhandofavivisectionist,gropingaboutintheirmentalprocessesandexaminingtheirsoulsasthoughtoseeofwhatsoul—stuffismade。
Ihaveseenhimascoreoftimes,attable,insultingthishunterorthat,withcoolandleveleyesand,withal,acertainairofinterest,ponderingtheiractionsorrepliesorpettyrageswithacuriosityalmostlaughabletomewhostoodonlookerandwhounderstood。Concerninghisownrages,Iamconvincedthattheyarenotreal,thattheyaresometimesexperiments,butthatinthemaintheyarethehabitsofaposeorattitudehehasseenfittotaketowardhisfellowmen。know,withthepossibleexceptionoftheincidentofthedeadmate,thatIhavenotseenhimreallyangry;nordoIwishevertoseehiminagenuinerage,whenalltheforceofhimiscalledintoplay。
Whileonthequestionofvagaries,IshalltellwhatbefellThomasMugridgeinthecabin,andatthesametimecompleteanincidentuponwhichIhavealreadytouchedonceortwice。Thetwelveo’clockdinnerwasover,oneday,andIhadjustfinishedputtingthecabininorder,whenWolfLarsenandThomasMugridgedescendedthecompanionstairs。Thoughthecookhadacubby—holeofastateroomopeningofffromthecabin,inthecabinitselfhehadneverdaredtolingerortobeseen,andheflittedtoandfro,onceortwiceaday,likeatimidspectre。
"Soyouknowhowtoplay`Nap,’"WolfLarsenwassayinginapleasedsortofvoice。"ImighthaveguessedanEnglishmanwouldknow。IlearneditmyselfinEnglishships。"
ThomasMugridgewasbesidehimself,ablitheringimbecile,sopleasedwasheatchummingthuswiththecaptain。Thelittleairsheputonandthepainfulstrivingtoassumetheeasycarriageofamanborntoadignifiedplaceinlifewouldhavebeensickeninghadtheynotbeenludicrous。Hequiteignoredmypresence,thoughIcreditedhimwithbeingsimplyunabletoseeme。Hispale,wishy—washyeyeswereswimminglikelazysummerseas,thoughwhatblissfulvisionstheybeheldwerebeyondmyimagination。
"Getthecards,Hump,"WolfLarsenordered,astheytookseatsatthetable。"Andbringoutthecigarsandthewhiskeyyou’llfindinmyberth。"
IreturnedwiththearticlesintimetoheartheCockneyhintingbroadlythattherewasamysteryabouthim,thathemightbeagentleman’ssongonewrongorsomethingorother;also,thathewasaremittancemanandwaspaidtokeepawayfromEngland——"p’yed’ansomely,sir,"wasthewayheputit;"p’yed’ansomelytoslingmy’ookan’keepslingin’it。"
Ihadbroughtthecustomaryliquorglasses,butWolfLarsenfrowned,shookhishead,andsignalledwithhishandsformetobringthetumblers。
Thesehefilledtwo—thirdsfullwithundilutedwhiskey——"agentleman’sdrink,"quothThomasMugridge,——andtheyclinkedtheirglassestothegloriousgameof"Nap,"lightedcigars,andfelltoshufflinganddealingthecards。
Theyplayedformoney。Theyincreasedtheamountsofthebets。Theydrankwhiskey,theydrankitneat,andIfetchedmore。IdonotknowwhetherWolfLarsencheatedornot,——athinghewasthoroughlycapableofdoing,——buthewonsteadily。Thecookmaderepeatedjourneystohisbunkformoney。Eachtimeheperformedthejourneywithgreaterswagger,butheneverbroughtmorethanafewdollarsatatime。Hegrewmaudlin,familiar,couldhardlyseethecardsorsitupright。Asapreliminarytoanotherjourneytohisbunk,hehookedWolfLarsen’sbuttonholewithagreasyforefingerandvacuouslyproclaimedandreiterated,"Igotmoney。Igotmoney,Itellyer,an’I’magentleman’sson。"
WolfLarsenwasunaffectedbythedrink,yethedrankglassforglass,andifanythinghisglasseswerefuller。Therewasnochangeinhim。Hedidnotappearevenamusedattheother’santics。
Intheend,withloudprotestationsthathecouldloselikeagentleman,thecook’slastmoneywasstakedonthegameandlost。Whereuponheleanedhisheadonhishandsandwept。WolfLarsenlookedcuriouslyathim,asthoughabouttoprobeandvivisecthim,thenchangedhismind,asfromtheforegoneconclusionthattherewasnothingtheretoprobe。
"Hump,"hesaidtome,elaboratelypolite,"kindlytakeMr。Mugridge’sarmandhelphimupondeck。Heisnotfeelingverywell。"
"AndtellJohnsontodousehimwithafewbucketsofsaltwater,"headded,inalowertoneformyearalone。
IleftMr。Mugridgeondeck,inthehandsofacoupleofgrinningsailorswhohadbeentoldoffforthepurpose。Mr。Mugridgewassleepilysplutteringthathewasagentleman’sson。ButasdescendedthecompanionstairstoclearthetableIheardhimshriekasthefirstbucketofwaterstruckhim。
WolfLarsenwascountinghiswinnings。
"Onehundredandeighty—fivedollarseven,"hesaidaloud。"JustasIthought。Thebeggarcameaboardwithoutacent。"
"Andwhatyouhavewonismine,sir,"Isaidboldly。
Hefavoredmewithaquizzicalsmile。"Hump,Ihavestudiedsomegrammarinmytime,andIthinkyourtensesaretangled。`Wasmine,’youshouldhavesaid,not`ismine。’"
"Itisaquestion,notofgrammar,butofethics,"Ianswered。
Itwaspossiblyaminutebeforehespoke。
"D’yeknow,Hump,"hesaid,withaslowseriousnesswhichhadinitanindefinablestrainofsadness,"thatthisisthefirsttimehaveheardtheword`ethics’inthemouthofaman。YouandIaretheonlymenonthisshipwhoknowitsmeaning。"
"Atonetimeinmylife,"hecontinued,afteranotherpause,"dreamedthatImightsomedaytalkwithmenwhousedsuchlanguage,thatImightliftmyselfoutoftheplaceinlifeinwhichIhadbeenborn,andholdconversationandminglewithmenwhotalkedaboutjustsuchthingsasethics。
AndthisisthefirsttimeIhaveeverheardthewordpronounced。Whichisallbytheway,foryouarewrong。Itisaquestion,neitherofgrammarnorethics,butoffact。"
"Iunderstand,"Isaid。"Thefactisthatyouhavethemoney。"
Hisfacebrightened。Heseemedpleasedatmyperspicacity。
"Butitisavoidingtherealquestion,"Icontinued,"whichisoneofright。"
"Ah,"heremarked,withawrypuckerofhismouth,"Iseeyoustillbelieveinsuchthingsasrightandwrong。"
"Butdon’tyou?——atall?"Idemanded。
"Nottheleastbit。Mightisright,andthatisallthereistoit。
Weaknessiswrong。Whichisaverypoorwayofsayingthatitisgoodforoneselftobestrong,andevilforoneselftobeweak——orbetteryet,itispleasurabletobestrong,becauseoftheprofits;painfultobeweak,becauseofthepenalties。Justnowthepossessionofthismoneyisapleasurablething。Itisgoodforonetopossessit。Beingabletopossessit,Iwrongmyselfandthelifethatisinmeifgiveittoyouandforegothepleasureofpossessingit。"
"Butyouwrongmebywithholdingit,"Iobjected。
"Notatall。Onemancannotwronganotherman。Hecanonlywronghimself。
AsIseeit,IdowrongalwayswhenIconsidertheinterestsofothers。
Don’tyousee?Howcantwoparticlesoftheyeastwrongeachotherbystrivingtodevoureachother?Itistheirinbornheritagetostrivetodevour,andtostrivenottobedevoured。Whentheydepartfromthistheysin。"
"Thenyoudon’tbelieveinaltruism?"Iasked。
Hereceivedthewordasifithadafamiliarring,thoughhepondereditthoughtfully。"Letmesee,itmeanssomethingaboutco[[Yacute]]peration,doesn’tit?"
"Well,inawaytherehascometobeasortofconnection,"answered,unsurprisedbythistimeatsuchgapsinhisvocabulary,which,likehisknowledge,wastheacquirementofaself—read,self—educatedman,whomnoonehaddirectedinhisstudies,andwhohadthoughtmuchandtalkedlittleornotatall。"Analtruisticactisanactperformedforthewelfareofothers。Itisunselfish,asopposedtoanactperformedforself,whichisselfish。"
Henoddedhishead。"Oh,yes,Irememberitnow。IranacrossitinSpencer。"
"Spencer!"Icried。"Haveyoureadhim?"
"Notverymuch,"washisconfession。"Iunderstoodquiteagooddealof`FirstPrinciples,’buthis`Biology’tookthewindoutofmysails,andhis`Psychology’leftmebuttingaroundinthedoldrumsformanyaday。Ihonestlycouldnotunderstandwhathewasdrivingat。Iputitdowntomentaldeficiencyonmypart,butsincethenIhavedecidedthatitwasforwantofpreparation。Ihadnoproperbasis。OnlySpencerandmyselfknowhowhardIhammered。ButIdidgetsomethingoutofhis`DataofEthics。’
There’swhereIranacross`altruism,’andIremembernowhowitwasused。"
Iwonderedwhatthismancouldhavegotfromsuchawork。SpencerI
rememberedenoughtoknowthataltruismwasimperativetohisidealofhighestconduct。WolfLarsen,evidently,hadsiftedthegreatphilosopher’steachings,rejectingandselectingaccordingtohisneedsanddesires。
"Whatelsedidyourunacross?"Iasked。
Hisbrowsdrewinslightlywiththementaleffortofsuitablyphrasingthoughtswhichhehadneverbeforeputintospeech。Ifeltanelationofspirit。Iwasgropingintohissoul—stuffashemadeapracticeofgropinginthesoul—stuffofothers。Iwasexploringvirginterritory。Astrange,aterriblystrange,regionwasunrollingitselfbeforemyeyes。
"Inasfewwordsaspossible,"hebegan,"Spencerputsitsomethinglikethis:First,amanmustactforhisownbenefit——todothisistobemoralandgood。Next,hemustactforthebenefitofhischildren。Andthird,hemustactforthebenefitofhisrace。"
"Andthehighest,finest,rightconduct,"Iinterjected,"isthatactwhichbenefitsatthesametimetheman,hischildren,andhisrace。"
"Iwouldn’tstandforthat,"hereplied。"Couldn’tseethenecessityforit,northecommonsense。Icutouttheraceandthechildren。Iwouldsacrificenothingforthem。It’sjustsomuchslushandsentiment,andyoumustseeityourself,atleastforonewhodoesnotbelieveineternallife。Withimmortalitybeforeme,altruismwouldbeapayingbusinessproposition。
Imightelevatemysoultoallkindsofaltitudes。Butwithnothingeternalbeforemebutdeath,givenforabriefspellthisyeastycrawlingandsquirmingwhichiscalledlife,why,itwouldbeimmoralformetoperformanyactthatwasasacrifice。Anysacrificethatmakesmeloseonecrawlorsquirmisfoolish,——andnotonlyfoolish,foritisawrongagainstmyselfandawickedthing。ImustnotloseonecrawlorsquirmifIamtogetthemostoutoftheferment。NorwilltheeternalmovelessnessthatiscomingtomebemadeeasierorharderbythesacrificesorselfishnessesofthetimewhenIwasyeastyandacrawl。"
"Thenyouareanindividualist,amaterialist,and,logically,ahedonist。"
"Bigwords,"hesmiled。"Butwhatisahedonist?"
HenoddedagreementwhenIhadgiventhedefinition。
"Andyouarealso,"Icontinued,"amanonecouldnottrustintheleastthingwhereitwaspossibleforaselfishinteresttointervene?"
"Nowyou’rebeginningtounderstand,"hesaid,brightening。
"Youareamanutterlywithoutwhattheworldcallsmorals?"
"That’sit。"
"Amanofwhomtobealwaysafraid——"
"That’sthewaytoputit。"
"Asoneisafraidofasnake,oratiger,orashark?"
"Nowyouknowme,"hesaid。"AndyouknowmeasIamgenerallyknown。
Othermencallme`Wolf。’"
"Youareasortofmonster,"Iaddedaudaciously,"aCalibanwhohasponderedSetebos,andwhoactsasyouact,inidlemoments,bywhimandfancy。"
Hisbrowcloudedattheallusion。Hedidnotunderstand,andquicklylearnedthathedidnotknowthepoem。