ostentatiouslyamiabletoher。Afterwardsshesawhimdancing,talking,beingpresentedtopeople,being,withatactfuleasiness,takencareofbyhishostandhostess,andLordWestholt。Shewasstruckbythegracefulmagicwithwhichthistactfuleasesurroundedhimwithoutanyobviousness。TheDunholmshadgivenalead,asLadyAlanbyhadsaid,andtherestwerefollowingitandignoringintervalswithreposefulreadiness。Itwaswonderfullywelldone。
Apparentlytherehadbeennopastatall。Allbeganwiththislargeyoungman,who,despitehisVikingtype,reallylookedparticularlywellineveningdress。LadyAlanbyheldhimbyherchairforsometime,openlyenjoyinghertalkwithhim,andcallingupTommy,thattheymightmakefriends。
Afterawhile,Bettysaidtoherself,hewouldcomeandaskforadance。Buthedidnotcome,andshedancedwithonemanafteranother。Westholtcametoherseveraltimesandhadmoredancesthanone。Whydidtheothernotcome?Severaltimestheywhirledpasteachother,andwhenitoccurredtheylooked——bothfeelingitanaccident——intoeachother’seyes。
Thestrongandstrangething——thatwhichmovesonitswayasdobirthanddeath,andtherisingandsettingofthesun——
hadbeguntomoveinthem。Itwasnonewandrarething,butanancientandcommonone——ascommonandancientasdeathandbirththemselves;andpartofthelawastheyare。Asitcomestoroyalpersonstowhomonemakesobeisanceattheirmerepassingby,asitcomestoscullerymaidsinroyalkitchens,andgroomsinroyalstables,asitcomestoladies—in—waitingandthewomenwhoservethem,soithadcometothesetwowhohadbeendrawnneartoeachotherfromtheoppositesidesoftheearth,andeachstartedatthetouchofit,andwithdrewapaceinbewilderment,andsomefear。
"Iwish,"MountDunstanwasfeelingthroughouttheevening,"thathereyeshadsomefaultintheirexpression——thattheydrewoneless——thattheydrewMEless。Iamlosingmyhead。"
"Itwouldbebetter,"Bettythought,"ifIdidnotwishsomuchthathewouldcomeandaskmetodancewithhim——
thathewouldnotkeepawayso。Heiskeepingawayforareason。Whyishedoingit?"
Themusicswungoninlovelymeasures,andthedancersswungwithit。SirNigelwalkeddutifullythroughtheLancersoncewithhiswife,andoncewithhisbeautifulsister—in—law。
LadyAnstruthers,inhernewbloom,hadnotlackedpartners,whodiscoveredthatshewasachildishlylightcreaturewhodancedextremelywell。Everyonewaskindtoher,andtheverygrandoldladies,whoadmiredBetty,wereabsolutelybenignintheirmanner。Betty’spartnerspaidingenuouscourttoher,andSirNigelfoundhehadnotbeenmistakeninhisestimateofthedignityhispositionofescortandmalerelationgavetohim。
Rosy,standingforamomentlookingoutonthebrilliancyandstateabouther,meetingBetty’seyes,laughedquiveringly。
"Iaminadream,"shesaid。
"Youhaveawakenedfromadream,"Bettyanswered。
Fromtheoppositesideoftheroomsomeonewascomingtowardsthem,and,seeinghim,Rosysmiledinwelcome。
"IamsureLordMountDunstaniscomingtoaskyoutodancewithhim,"shesaid。"Whyhaveyounotdancedwithhimbefore,Betty?"
"Hehasnotaskedme,"Bettyanswered。"Thatistheonlyreason。"
"LordDunholmandLordWestholtcalledattheMountafewdaysaftertheymethimatStornham,"Rosalieexplainedinanundertone。"Theywantedtoknowhim。Thenitseemstheyfoundtheylikedeachother。LadyDunholmhasbeentellingmeaboutit。ShesaysLordDunholmthanksyou,becauseyousaidsomethingilluminating。Thatwasthewordsheused——`illuminating。’Ibelieveyouarealwaysilluminating,Betty。"
MountDunstanwascertainlycomingtothem。Howbroadhisshoulderslookedinhisclose—fittingblackcoat,howwellbuilthiswholestrongbodywas,andhowsteadilyheheldhiseyes!Hereandthereoneseesamanorwomanwhois,throughsometrickoffate,bynatureacompellingthingunconsciouslydemandingthatoneshouldsubmittosomedomineeringattraction。
Onedoesnotcallitdomineering,butitisso。Thisspecialcreatureischargedunfairlywithmorethanhisorhersingleshareofforce。BettyVanderpoelthoughtthisoutasthis"otherone"cametoher。Hedidnotusetheballroomformulawhenhespoketoher。Hesaidinratheralowvoice:
"Willyoudancewithme?"
"Yes,"sheanswered。
LordDunholmandhiswifeagreedafterwardsthatsonoticeableapairhadneverbeforedancedtogetherintheirballroom。
Certainlynopairhadeverbeenwatchedwithquitethesameinterestedcuriosity。Someonlookersthoughtitsingularthattheyshoulddancetogetheratall,somepleasedthemselvesbyreflectingonthefactthatnoothertwocouldhaverepresentedwithsuchpicturesquenesstheoppositepolesoffateandcircumstance。Nooneattemptedtodenythattheywereanextraordinarilystriking—lookingcouple,andthatone’seyesfollowedtheminspiteofone’sself。
"Takentogethertheyproduceaneffectthatissomehowratheramazing,"oldLadyAlanbycommented。"Heisamagnificentlybuiltman,youknow,andsheisamagnificentlybuiltgirl。Everybodyshouldlooklikethat。MyimpressionwouldbethatAdamandEvedid,butforthefactthatneitherofthemhadanyparticularcharacter。Thataffairoftheapplewassosilly。Evehasalwaysstruckmeasbeingthekindofwomanwho,ifshelivedto—day,wouldrunupstupidbillsatherdressmakersandbeafraidtotellherhusband。ThatwonderfulblackheadofMissVanderpoel’slooksverynicepoisednearMountDunstan’sdarkredone。"
"Iamgladtobedancingwithhim,"Bettywasthinking。
"Iamgladtobenearhim。"
"Willyoudancethiswithmetotheveryend,"askedMountDunstan——"totheverylatenote?"
"Yes,"answeredBetty。
Hehadspokeninalowbutlevelvoice——thekindofvoicewhosetoneplacesamanandwomanalonetogether,andwhollyapartfromallothersbywhomsoevertheyaresurrounded。
Therehadbeennopreliminaryspeechandnoexplanationoftherequestfollowed。Themusicwasaperfectthing,thebrilliant,loftyballroom,thebeautyofcolourandsoundaboutthem,thejewelsandfairfaces,thewarmbreathofflowersintheair,theverysenseofroyalpresenceanditsaccompanyingstateandceremony,seemedmerelyanaturallyarrangedbackgroundforthestrangeconsciousnesseachheldcloseandsilently——knowingnothingofthemindoftheother。
Thiswaswhatwaspassingthroughtheman’smind。
"Thisisthethingwhichmostmenexperienceseveraltimesduringtheirlives。Itwouldbereasonenoughforallthegreatdeedsandallthecrimesonehearsof。Itisanenormouskindofanguishandafearfulkindofjoy。Itisscarcelytobeborne,andyet,atthismoment,Icouldkillmyselfandher,atthethoughtoflosingit。IfIhadbegunearlier,wouldithavebeeneasier?No,itwouldnot。Withmeitisboundtogohard。AttwentyIshouldprobablynothavebeenabletokeepmyselffromshoutingitaloud,andIshouldnothaveknownthatitwasonlytheworkingoftheLaw。`Only!’GoodGod,whatafoolIam!ItisbecauseitisonlytheLawthatIcannotescape,andmustgoontotheend,grindingmyteethtogetherbecauseIcannotspeak。Oh,hersmoothyoungcheek!
Oh,thedeepshadowsofherlashes!Andwhileweswayroundandroundtogether,Iholdherslimstrongbodyinthehollowofmyarm。"
Itwas,quitepossibly,ashethoughtthisthatNigelAnstruthers,followinghimwithhiseyesashepassed,begantofrown。Hehadbeenwatchingthepairasothershad,hehadseenwhatotherssaw,andnowhehadanideathathesawsomethingmore,anditwassomethingwhichdidnotpleasehim。
Theinstinctofthemalebestirreditself——thecuriousinstinctofresentmentagainstanotherman——anyotherman。And,inthiscase,MountDunstanwasnotanyotherman,butoneforwhomhisantipathywaspersonal。
"Iwon’thavethat,"hesaidtohimself。"Iwon’thaveit。"……
Themusicroseandswelled,andthensankintosoftbreathing,astheymovedinharmonytogether,glidingandswirlingastheythreadedtheirwayamongothercoupleswhoswirledandglidedalso,someofthemlightandsmiling,someexchanginglow—tonedspeech——perhapssayingwordswhich,unheardbyothers,touchedondeepthings。Theexaltedguestfellintomomentarysilenceashelookedon,beingamanmuchattractedbyphysicalfinenessandtemperamentalpowerandcharm。A
girllikethatwouldbringagreatdealtoamanandtothecountryhebelongedto。Agreatracemightbefoundedonsuchsuperbnessofphysiqueandhealthandbeauty。Combinedwithabnormalresources,certainlynomorecouldbeasked。
HeexpressedsomethingofthekindtoLordDunholm,whostoodnearhiminattendance。
ToherselfBettywassaying:"Thatwasastrangethingheaskedme。Itiscuriousthatwesaysolittle。Ishouldneverknowmuchabouthim。Ihavenointelligencewhereheisconcerned——onlyastrong,stupidfeeling,whichisnotlikeafeelingofmyown。IamnolongerBettyVanderpoel——
andIwishtogoondancingwithhim——onandon——tothelastnote,ashesaid。"
Shefeltalittlehotwaverunoverhercheekuncomfortably,andthenextinstantthebigarmtighteneditsclaspofher——
forjustonesecond——notmorethanone。Shedidnotknowthathe,himself,hadseenthesuddenrippleofredcolour,andthattheequallysuddencontractionofthearmhadbeenasunexpectedtohimandasinvoluntaryasthequickwaveitself。Ithadhorrifiedandmadehimangry。Helookedthenextinstantentirelystiffandcold。
"Hedidnotknowithappened,"Bettyresolved。
"Themusicisgoingtostop,"saidMountDunstan。"I
knowthewaltz。Wecangetonceroundtheroomagainbeforethefinalchord。Itwastobethelastnote——theverylast,"
buthesaiditquiterigidly,andBettylaughed。
"Quitethelast,"sheanswered。
Themusichastenedalittle,andtheirglidingwhirlbecamemorerapid——alittlefaster——alittlefasterstill——arunningsweepofnotes,abig,terminatingharmony,andthethingwasover。
"Thankyou,"saidMountDunstan。"Onewillhaveittoremember。"Andhistonewasslightlysardonic。
"Yes,"Bettyacquiescedpolitely。
"Oh,notyou。OnlyI。Ihaveneverwaltzedbefore。"
Bettyturnedtolookathimcuriously。
"Undercircumstancessuchasthese,"heexplained。"I
learnedtodanceataparticularlyhideousboys’schoolinFrance。Iabhorredit。Andthetrendofmylifehasmadeitquiteeasyformetokeepmytwelve—year—oldvowthatIwouldneverdanceafterIlefttheplace,unlessIWANTEDtodoit,andthat,especially,nothingshouldmakemewaltzuntilcertainagreeableconditionswerefulfilled。WaltzingIapprovedof——outofhideousschools。Iwasapig—headed,objectionablechild。Idetestedmyselfeven,then。"
Betty’scomposurereturnedtoher。
"Iamtrusting,"sheremarked,"thatImaysecretlyregardmyselfasoneoftheagreeableconditionstobefulfilled。Donotdispelmyhopesroughly。"
"Iwillnot,"heanswered。"Youare,infact,severalofthem。"
"Onebreatheswithmuchgreaterfreedom,"sheresponded。
Thissortofcoolnonsensewassafe。Itdispelledfeelingsoftenseness,andcarriedthemtotheplacewhereSirNigelandLadyAnstruthersawaitedthem。Aslightstirwasbeginningtobefeltthroughouttheballroom。Theroyalguestwasretiring,andsoontherestbegantomeltaway。TheAnstruthers,whohadalongreturndrivebeforethem,wereamongthosewhowentfirst。
WhenLadyAnstruthersandhersisterreturnedfromthecloakroom,theyfoundSirNigelstandingnearMountDunstan,whowasgoingalso,andtalkingtohiminanamiablydetachedmanner。MountDunstan,himself,didnotlookamiable,orseemtobesayingmuch,butSirNigelshowednosignsofbeingdisturbed。
"Nowthatyouhaveceasedtoforsweartheworld,"hesaidashiswifeapproached,"IhopeweshallseeyouatStornham。YourvisitsmustnotceasebecausewecannotofferyouG。Seldenanylonger。"
Hehadhisownreasonsforgivingtheinvitation——severalofthem。Andtherewasasatisfactioninlettingthefellowknow,casually,thathewasnotintheridiculouspositionofbeingunawareofwhathadoccurredduringhisabsence——thattherehadbeenvisits——andalsotheobjectionableepisodeoftheAmericanbounder。Thattheepisodehadbeenobjectionable,heknewhehadadroitlyconveyedbymeretoneandmanner。
MountDunstanthankedhimintheusualformula,andthenspoketoBetty。
"G。Seldenleftustremulousandfeveredwithecstaticanticipation。HecarriedyourkindlettertoMr。Vanderpoel,nexttohisheart。Hisbrainseemedtowhirlatthethoughtofwhat`theboys’wouldsay,whenhearrivedwithitinNewYork。Youhavematerialisedthedreamofhislife!"
"Ihaveinterestedmyfather,"Bettyanswered,withabrilliantsmile。"HelikedtheromanceoftheReubenS。
VanderpoelwhorewardedthesaverofhislifebyunboundedordersfortheDelkoff。"……
Astheircarriagedroveaway,SirNigelbentforwardtolookoutofthewindow,andhavingdoneit,laughedalittle。
"MountDunstandoesnotplaythegamewell,"heremarked。
ItwasannoyingthatneitherBettynorhiswifeinquiredwhatthegameinquestionmightbe,andthathistemperamentforcedhimintoexplainingwithoutencouragement。
"Heshouldhave`stoodmotionlesswithfoldedarms,’orsomethingofthesort,and`watchedherequipageuntilitwasoutofsight。’"
"Andhedidnot?"saidBetty"Heturnedonhisheelassoonasthedoorwasshut。"
"Peopleoughtnottodosuchthings,"washersimplecomment。Towhichitseemeduselesstoreply。
CHAPTERXXXIII
FORLADYJANE
Thereisnoonethingonearthofsuchinterestasthestudyofthelawsoftemperament,whichimpel,support,orentrapintofollyanddangerthebeingtheyrule。Asachild,notoldenoughtogiveadefinitenametothethingshewatchedandponderedon,inchildfashion,BettinaVanderpoelhadthoughtmuchonthissubject。Asshehadgrownolder,shehadneverbeenignorantoftheworkingsofherowntemperament,andshehadlookedonforyearsatthelawswhichhadwroughtinherfather’sbeing——thelawsofstrength,executivecapacity,andthatpleasureingreatschemes,whichisrousedlessbyadesireforgainthanforastrongly—feltnecessityforaction,resultinginsuccess。Shementallyfollowedotherpeopleontheirway,sometimesaskingherselfhowfartheindividualwastobepraisedorblamedforhistreadingofthepathheseemedtochoose。AndnowtherewasgivenhertheopportunitytostudytheworkingsofthenatureofNigelAnstruthers,whichwasacuriousthing。
Hewasnotanindividualtobeenvied。Neverwasmanmoretormentedbylackofpowertocontrolhisspecialdevil,attherightmomentoftime,andtherefore,neverwasthereonesoinevitablyhisownfrustration。ThisBettysawafterthepassingofbutafewdays,andwonderedhowfarhewasconsciousorunconsciousofthething。Attimesitappearedtoherthathewasinastateofunrest——thathewasasamanwaveringbetweenlinesofaction,swayedatonemomentbyonethought,atanotherbyanideaquitedifferent,andthathewasharriedbecausehecouldnotholdhisownwithhimself。
Thiswastrue。TheballatDunholmCastlehadbeenenlightening,andhadwroughtsomechangesinhispointsofview。Alsootherfactorshadinfluencedhim。Inthefirstplace,thechangedatmosphereofStornham,thefitnessandluxuryofhissurroundings,thenewdignitygiventohispositionbythealteredaspectofthings,renderedexternalamiabilitymoreeasy。Torideaboutthecountryonagoodhorse,ordriveinasmartphaeton,orsuitablecarriage,andtofindthatpeoplewhoayearagohadpassedhimwiththemerestrecognition,salutedhimwithpoliteintention,was,toacertaindegree,stimulatingtoavanitywhichhadbeenlongill—fed。Thepowerwhichproducedtheseresultsshould,ofcourse,havebeeninhisownhands——hismoney—makingfather—
in—lawshouldhaveseenthatitwashisaffairtoprovideforthat——butsincehehadnotdoneso,itwasratherentertainingthatitshouldbe,forthepresent,inthehandsofthisextraordinarilygood—lookinggirl。
Hehadbegunbymerelythinkingofherinthismanner——
as"thisextraordinarilygood—lookinggirl,"andhadnot,foramoment,hesitatedbeforetheedifyingideaofitsnotbeingimpossibletoarrangealivelyflirtationwithher。Shewasatanagewhen,inhisopinion,girlhoodwaspoisedforflightwithadventure,andhistasteshadnotledhiminthedirectionofyouthwhichwasfastidious。HisRivieraepisodehadlefthisvanityblisteredandrequiringsomesoothingapplication。
Hislifehadworkedevilwithhim,andhehadfallenillonthehandsofawomanwhohadtreatedhimasashattered,uselessthingwhosedaywasdoneandwithwhomstrengthandbloomcouldnotbeburdened。Hehadkepthisillnessahiddensecret,onhisreturntoStornham,hisonedesirehavingbeentoforget——eventodisbelieveinit,butdreamsofitssuggestionsometimesawakenedhimatnightwithshuddersandcoldsweat。Hewashideouslyafraidofdeathandpain,andhehadhadmonstrouspain——andwhilehehadlainbattlingwithit,uponhisbedinthevillaontheMediterranean,hehadbeenabletohear,inthegardenoutside,thelowvoicesandlaughteroftheSpanishdancerandthehealthy,strongyoungfoolwhowashernewadorer。
WhenhehadfoundhimselffacetofacewithBettyintheavenue,afterthefirstleapofannoyance,whichhadsuddenlydieddownintoperverselyinterestedcuriosity,hecouldhavelaughedoutrightatthenoveltyandoddunexpectednessofthesituation。Theill—mannered,impudently—staring,littleNewYorkbeasthaddevelopedintoTHIS!Hangit!Nomancouldguesswhattheembryofemalecreaturemightresultin。
Hismereshakinessofphysicalconditionaddedstrengthtoherattraction。Shewaslikeayounggoddessofhealthandlifeandfire;theveryspringofherfirmfootuponthemossbeneathitwasastimulatingthingtoamanwhosenervessprungsecretfearsuponhim。Thereweresparksbetweenthesweepofherlashes,butshemanagedtocarryherselfwiththeairofbeingascoolasacucumber,whichgavespicetotheeffortto"upset"her。Ifshedidnotprovesuitablyamenable,therewouldbepiquancyingettingthebetterofher——instirringupunpleasantlittlethings,whichwouldmakeiteasierforhertogoawaythanremainonthespot——ifoneshouldendbychoosingtogetridofher。But,forthemoment,hehadnodesiretogetridofher。Hewantedtoseewhatsheintendedtodo——toseethethingout,infact。ItamusedhimtohearthatMountDunstanwasonhertrack。Thereexistsforpersonsofacertaintypeapleasurefull—fedbythemeresenseofhaving"goteven"withanopponent。Throughouthislifehehadmadeapointof"gettingeven"withthosewhohadirritatinglycrossedhispath,ormuchdislikedhim。Theworkingoutofsmallorlargeplanstoachievethisendhadformedoneofhismostagreeablerecreations。HehadlongowedMountDunstanadebt,whichhehadalwaysmeanttopay。HehadnotintendedtoforgettheepisodeofthenicelittlevillagegirlwithwhomTenhamandhimselfhadbeengettingalongsoenormouslywell,whentheragingyoungasshadfoundthemout,andmadeanabsurdlyexaggeratedscene,evengoingsofarasthreateningtosmashthepairofthem,marchingofftothefatherandmother,andsettingthevicaron,andthenscratchingtogether——Godknowshow——moneyenoughtopackthelotofftoAmerica,wheretheyhadsincedonewell。Whyshouldamanforgiveanotherwhohadmadehimlooklikeaschoolboyandafool?So,tofindMountDunstanrushingdownasteephillintothisthing,wasedifying。Youcannottakemuchoutofamanifyouneverencounterhim。Ifyoumeethim,youareprovidedbyHeavenwithopportunities。Youcanfindoutwhathefeelsmostsharply,andwhathewillsuffermostbybeingdeprivedof。HisimpressionwasthattherewasagooddealtobegotoutofMountDunstan。Hewasanobstinate,haughtydevil,andjustthefellowtoconcealwithafuryofprideascoreoftenderplacesinhishide。
Attheballhehadseenthatthegirl’seffecthadbeenofakindwhichevenmoneyandgoodlooksuncombinedwithanotherthingmightnothaveproduced。Andshehadtheotherthing——whatsoeveritmightbe。HeobservedthewayinwhichtheDunholmsmetandgreetedher,hemarkedtheglanceoftheroyalpersonage,andhismanner,whenafterherpresentationheconversedwithanddetainedher,hesawtheturningofheadsandexchangeofremarksasshemovedthroughtherooms。Mostespecially,hetookinthebearingoftheverygrandoldladies,ledbyLadyAlanbyofDole。
Barriershadthrownthemselvesdown,theseportentous,rigorousoldpussycatsadmiredher,evenlikedher。
"Uponmyword,"hesaidtohimself。"Shehasawaywithher,youknow。SheisacombinationofEthelNewcomeandBeckySharp。Butsheismorelevel—headedthaneitherofthem,There’satouchofTrixEsmond,too。"
Thesenseofthesuccesswhichfollowedher,andthegradually—
growingexcitementoflookingonatherlightwhirlsofdance,thecarnationofhercheek,andthelaughterandpleasureshedrewabouther,hadaffectedhiminawaybywhichhewassecretlyalittleexhilarated。Hewasconsciousofarashdesiretoforcehiswaythroughtheselaughing,vauntingyoungidiots,juggleorsnatchtheirdancesawayfromthem,andseizeonthegirlhimself。Hehadnotforsolongatimebeenimpelledbysuchagreeablefollythathehadsometimesfeltthestabofthethoughtthathewaspastit。Thatitshouldriseinhimagainmadehimfeelyoung。TherewasnothingwhichsoirritatedhimagainstMountDunstanashisownrebellingrecognitionoftheman’syouth,thestrengthofhisfinebody,hishigh—heldheadandcleareye。
Thesethingsandothersitwaswhichswayedhim,aswasplaintoBettyinthetimewhichfollowed,tomanychangesofmood。
"Areyousorryforamanwhoisillanddepressed,"heaskedoneday,"ordoyoudespisehim?"
"Iamsorry。"
"Thenbesorryforme。"
Hehadcomeoutofthehousetoherasshesatonthelawn,underabroad,level—branchedtree,andhadthrownhimselfuponarugwithhishandsclaspedbehindhishead。
"Areyouill?"
"WhenIwasontheRivieraIhadafall。"Heliedsimply。
"Istrainedsomemuscleorother,andithasleftmeratherlame。SometimesIhaveagooddealofpain。"
"Iamverysorry,"saidBetty。"Very。"
Awomanwhocanbemadesorryitisrarelyimpossibletomanage。Todwellwithpatheticpatienceonyourgrievances,ifsheisweakandunintelligent,todeplore,withhonestregret,yourfaultsandblunders,ifsheisstrong,arenotbadideas。
Helookedatherreflectively。
"Yes,youarecapableofbeingsorry,"hedecided。Forafewmomentsofsilencehiseyesrestedupontheviewspreadbeforehim。Togivetheexpressionofdignifiedreflectionwasnotabadideaeither。
"Doyouknow,"hesaidatlength,"thatyouproduceanextraordinaryeffectuponme,Betty?"
ShewasoccupyingherselfbyaddingafewstitchestooneofRosy’sancientstripsofembroidery,andassheanswered,shelaiditflatuponherkneetoconsideritseffect"Goodorbad?"sheinquired,withdelicateabstraction。
Heturnedhisfacetowardsheragain——thistimequickly。
"Both,"heanswered。"Both。"
Histoneheldtheflashofaheatwhichhefeltshouldhavestartledherslightly。Butapparentlyitdidnot。
"Idonotlike`both,’"withcomposedlightness。"Ifyouhadsaidthatyoufeltyourselfdevelopangelicqualitieswhenyouwerenearme,Ishouldfeelflattered,andswellwithpride。But`both’leavesmeunsatisfied。Itinterfereswiththehappylittleconceitthatoneisanall—pervading,beneficentpower。Onelikestocontemplatealargepictureofone’sself——
notplain,butcoloured——asawholesalereformer。"
"Isee。Thankyou,"stifflyandflushing。"Youdonotbelieveme。"
Hereffectuponhimwassuchthat,forthemoment,hefoundhimselfchoosingtobelievethathewasinearnest。Hisdesiretoimpressherwithhismoodhadactuallyledtothisresult。Sheoughttohavebeenrathermoved——alittlefluttered,perhaps,athearingthatshedisturbedhisequilibrium。
"Yousetyourselfagainstme,asachild,Betty,"hesaid。
"Andyousetyourselfagainstmenow。Youwillnotgivemefairplay。Youmightgivemefairplay。"Hedroppedhisvoiceatthelastsentence,andknewitwaswelldone。A
touchofhopelessnessisnotoftenlostonawoman。