"Atavernistherendezvous,theexchange,thestapleofgood
  fellows。Ihaveheardmygreat—grandfathertell,howhis
  great—great—grandfathershouldsay,thatitwasanoldproverbwhen
  hisgreat—grandfatherwasachild,that’itwasagoodwindthat
  blewamantothewine。’"
  MOTHERBOMBIE。
  ITISapiouscustom,insomeCatholiccountries,tohonorthe
  memoryofsaintsbyvotivelightsburntbeforetheirpictures。The
  popularityofasaint,therefore,maybeknownbythenumberof
  theseofferings。One,perhaps,islefttomoulderinthedarknessof
  hislittlechapel;anothermayhaveasolitarylamptothrowits
  blinkingraysathwarthiseffigy;whilethewholeblazeofadoration
  islavishedattheshrineofsomebeatifiedfatherofrenown。The
  wealthydevoteebringshishugeluminaryofwax;theeagerzealot
  hisseven—branchedcandlestick,andeventhemendicantpilgrimisby
  nomeanssatisfiedthatsufficientlightisthrownuponthe
  deceased,unlesshehangsuphislittlelampofsmokingoil。The
  consequenceis,thatintheeagernesstoenlighten,theyareoftenapt
  toobscure;andIhaveoccasionallyseenanunluckysaintalmost
  smokedoutofcountenancebytheofficiousnessofhisfollowers。
  InlikemannerhasitfaredwiththeimmortalShakspeare。Every
  writerconsidersithisboundendutytolightupsomeportionofhis
  characterorworks,andtorescuesomemeritfromoblivion。The
  commentator,opulentinwords,producesvasttomesofdissertations;
  thecommonherdofeditorssendupmistsofobscurityfromtheirnotes
  atthebottomofeachpage;andeverycasualscribblerbringshis
  farthingrushlightofeulogyorresearch,toswellthecloudof
  incenseandofsmoke。
  AsIhonorallestablishedusagesofmybrethrenofthequill,I
  thoughtitbutpropertocontributemymiteofhomagetothememoryof
  theillustriousbard。Iwasforsometime,however,sorelypuzzled
  inwhatwayIshoulddischargethisduty。Ifoundmyselfanticipated
  ineveryattemptatanewreading;everydoubtfullinehadbeen
  explainedadozendifferentways,andperplexedbeyondthereachof
  elucidation;andastofinepassages,theyhadallbeenamply
  praisedbypreviousadmirers;nay,socompletelyhadthebard,of
  late,beenoverlardedwithpanegyricbyagreatGermancritic,thatit
  wasdifficultnowtofindevenafaultthathadnotbeenarguedintoa
  beauty。
  Inthisperplexity,Iwasonemorningturningoverhispages,whenI
  casuallyopeneduponthecomicscenesofHenryIV。,andwas,ina
  moment,completelylostinthemadcaprevelryoftheBoar’sHead
  Tavern。Sovividlyandnaturallyarethesescenesofhumordepicted,
  andwithsuchforceandconsistencyarethecharacterssustained,that
  theybecomemingledupinthemindwiththefactsandpersonagesof
  reallife。Tofewreadersdoesitoccur,thattheseareallideal
  creationsofapoet’sbrain,andthat,insobertruth,nosuchknotof
  merryroystererseverenlivenedthedullneighborhoodofEastcheap。
  FormypartIlovetogivemyselfuptotheillusionsofpoetry。A
  herooffictionthatneverexistedisjustasvaluabletomeasahero
  ofhistorythatexistedathousandyearssince:and,ifImaybe
  excusedsuchaninsensibilitytothecommontiesofhumannature,I
  wouldnotgiveupfatJackforhalfthegreatmenofancient
  chronicle。Whathavetheheroesofyoredoneforme,ormenlikeme?
  TheyhaveconqueredcountriesofwhichIdonotenjoyanacre;orthey
  havegainedlaurelsofwhichIdonotinheritaleaf;ortheyhave
  furnishedexamplesofhair—brainedprowess,whichIhaveneitherthe
  opportunitynortheinclinationtofollow。But,oldJackFalstaff!—
  kindJackFalstaff!sweetJackFalstaff!—hasenlargedthe
  boundariesofhumanenjoyment;hehasaddedvastregionsofwitand
  goodhumor,inwhichthepoorestmanmayrevel;andhasbequeatheda
  never—failinginheritanceofjollylaughter,tomakemankindmerrier
  andbettertothelatestposterity。
  Athoughtsuddenlystruckme:"Iwillmakeapilgrimageto
  Eastcheap,"saidI,closingthebook,"andseeiftheoldBoar’s
  HeadTavernstillexists。WhoknowsbutImaylightuponsome
  legendarytracesofDameQuicklyandherguests;atanyrate,there
  willbeakindredpleasure,intreadingthehallsoncevocalwith
  theirmirth,tothatthetoperenjoysinsmellingtotheemptycask
  oncefilledwithgenerouswine。"
  Theresolutionwasnosoonerformedthanputinexecution。Iforbear
  totreatofthevariousadventuresandwondersIencounteredinmy
  travels;ofthehauntedregionsofCockLane;ofthefadedglories
  ofLittleBritain,andthepartsadjacent;whatperilsIranin
  Cateaton—streetandoldJewry;oftherenownedGuildhallanditstwo
  stuntedgiants,theprideandwonderofthecity,andtheterrorof
  allunluckyurchins;andhowIvisitedLondonStone,andstruckmy
  staffuponit,inimitationofthatarchrebel,JackCade。
  Letitsufficetosay,thatIatlengtharrivedinmerry
  Eastcheap,thatancientregionofwitandwassail,wherethevery
  namesofthestreetsrelishedofgoodcheer,asPuddingLanebears
  testimonyevenatthepresentday。ForEastcheap,saysoldStowe,"was
  alwaysfamousforitsconvivialdoings。Thecookescriedhotribbesof
  beefroasted,pieswellbaked,andothervictuals:therewas
  clatteringofpewterpots,harpe,pipe,andsawtrie。"Alas!how
  sadlyisthescenechangedsincetheroaringdaysofFalstaffand
  oldStowe!Themadcaproystererhasgivenplacetotheplodding
  tradesman;theclatteringofpotsandthesoundof"harpeand
  sawtrie,"tothedinofcartsandtheaccurseddingingofthe
  dustman’sbell;andnosongisheard,save,haply,thestrainof
  somesirenfromBillingsgate,chantingtheeulogyofdeceased
  mackerel。
  Isought,invain,fortheancientabodeofDameQuickly。Theonly
  relicofitisaboar’shead,carvedinreliefinstone,which
  formerlyservedasthesign,butatpresentisbuiltintothe
  partinglineoftwohouses,whichstandonthesiteoftherenowned
  oldtavern。
  Forthehistoryofthislittleabodeofgoodfellowship,Iwas
  referredtoatallow—chandler’swidow,opposite,whohadbeenbornand
  broughtuponthespot,andwaslookeduptoastheindisputable
  chronicleroftheneighborhood。Ifoundherseatedinalittleback
  parlor,thewindowofwhichlookedoutuponayardabouteightfeet
  square,laidoutasaflower—garden;whileaglassdooropposite
  affordedadistantpeepofthestreet,throughavistaofsoapand
  tallowcandles:thetwoviews,whichcomprised,inallprobability,
  herprospectsinlife,andthelittleworldinwhichshehadlived,
  andmoved,andhadherbeing,forthebetterpartofacentury。
  TobeversedinthehistoryofEastcheap,greatandlittle,from
  LondonStoneevenuntotheMonument,wasdoubtless,inheropinion,to
  beacquaintedwiththehistoryoftheuniverse。Yet,withallthis,
  shepossessedthesimplicityoftruewisdom,andthatliberal
  communicativedisposition,whichIhavegenerallyremarkedin
  intelligentoldladies,knowingintheconcernsoftheirneighborhood。
  Herinformation,however,didnotextendfarbackintoantiquity。
  ShecouldthrownolightuponthehistoryoftheBoar’sHead,fromthe
  timethatDameQuicklyespousedthevaliantPistol,untilthegreat
  fireofLondon,whenitwasunfortunatelyburntdown。Itwassoon
  rebuilt,andcontinuedtoflourishundertheoldnameandsign,
  untiladyinglandlord,struckwithremorsefordoublescores,bad
  measures,andotheriniquities,whichareincidenttothesinful
  raceofpublicans,endeavoredtomakehispeacewithheaven,by
  bequeathingthetaverntoSt。Michael’sChurch,CrookedLane,
  towardsthesupportingofachaplain。Forsometimethevestry
  meetingswereregularlyheldthere;butitwasobservedthattheold
  Boarneverhelduphisheadunderchurchgovernment。Hegradually
  declined,andfinallygavehislastgaspaboutthirtyyearssince。The
  tavernwasthenturnedintoshops;butsheinformedmethata
  pictureofitwasstillpreservedinSt。Michael’sChurch,whichstood
  justintherear。Togetasightofthispicturewasnowmy
  determination;so,havinginformedmyselfoftheabodeofthe
  sexton,ItookmyleaveofthevenerablechroniclerofEastcheap,my
  visithavingdoubtlessraisedgreatlyheropinionofherlegendary
  lore,andfurnishedanimportantincidentinthehistoryofherlife。
  Itcostmesomedifficulty,andmuchcuriousinquiry,toferret
  outthehumblehanger—ontothechurch。IhadtoexploreCrookedLane,
  anddiverslittlealleys,andelbows,anddarkpassages,withwhich
  thisoldcityisperforated,likeanancientcheese,oraworm—eaten
  chestofdrawers。AtlengthItracedhimtoacornerofasmall
  courtsurroundedbyloftyhouses,wheretheinhabitantsenjoyaboutas
  muchofthefaceofheaven,asacommunityoffrogsatthebottomofa
  well。
  Thesextonwasameek,acquiescinglittleman,ofabowing,lowly
  habit:yethehadapleasanttwinklinginhiseye,and,ifencouraged,
  wouldnowandthenhazardasmallpleasantry;suchasamanofhislow
  estatemightventuretomakeinthecompanyofhighchurchwardens,and
  othermightymenoftheearth。Ifoundhimincompanywiththe
  deputyorganist,seatedapart,likeMilton’sangels,discoursing,no
  doubt,onhighdoctrinalpoints,andsettlingtheaffairsofthe
  churchoverafriendlypotofale—forthelowerclassesofEnglish
  seldomdeliberateonanyweightymatterwithouttheassistanceofa
  cooltankardtocleartheirunderstandings。Iarrivedatthemoment
  whentheyhadfinishedtheiraleandtheirargument,andwereaboutto
  repairtothechurchtoputitinorder;sohavingmadeknownmy
  wishes,Ireceivedtheirgraciouspermissiontoaccompanythem。
  ThechurchofSt。Michael’s,CrookedLane,standingashortdistance
  fromBillingsgate,isenrichedwiththetombsofmanyfishmongersof
  renown;andaseveryprofessionhasitsgalaxyofglory,andits
  constellationofgreatmen,Ipresumethemonumentofamighty
  fishmongeroftheoldentimeisregardedwithasmuchreverenceby
  succeedinggenerationsofthecraft,aspoetsfeeloncontemplating
  thetombofVirgil,orsoldiersthemonumentofaMarlboroughor
  Turenne。
  Icannotbutturnaside,whilethusspeakingofillustriousmen,
  toobservethatSt。Michael’s,CrookedLane,containsalsotheashes
  ofthatdoughtychampion,WilliamWalworth,knight,whosomanfully
  clovedownthesturdywight,WatTyler,inSmithfield;aheroworthy
  ofhonorableblazon,asalmosttheonlyLordMayoronrecordfamous
  fordeedsofarms:—thesovereignsofCockneybeinggenerallyrenowned
  asthemostpacificofallpotentates。*
  *Thefollowingwastheancientinscriptiononthemonumentof
  thisworthy;which,unhappily,wasdestroyedinthegreat
  conflagration。
  HereunderlythamanofFame,
  WilliamWalworthcallydbyname;
  Fishmongerhewasinlyfftimehere,
  AndtwiseLordMaior,asinbooksappere;
  Who,withcouragestoutandmanlymyght,
  SlewJackStrawinKyngRichard’ssight。
  Forwhichactdone,andtrewentent,
  TheKyngmadehimknyghtincontinent;
  Andgavehimarmes,ashereyousee,
  Todeclarehisfactandchivaldrie。
  HeleftthislyfftheyereofourGod
  Thirteenhundredfourscoreandthreeodd。
  Anerrorintheforegoinginscriptionhasbeencorrectedbythe
  venerableStowe。"Whereas,"saithhe,"ithathbeenfarspread
  abroadbyvulgaropinion,thattherebelsmittendownsomanfullyby
  SirWilliamWalworth,thethenworthyLordMaior,wasnamedJack
  Straw,andnotWatTyler,Ithoughtgoodtoreconcilethis
  rash—conceiveddoubtbysuchtestimonyasIfindinancientandgood
  records。Theprincipalleaders,orcaptains,ofthecommons,were
  WatTyler,asthefirstman;thesecondwasJohn,orJack,Straw,"
  etc。,etc。
  STOWE’SLONDON。
  Adjoiningthechurch,inasmallcemetery,immediatelyunderthe
  backwindowofwhatwasoncetheBoar’sHead,standsthetombstone
  ofRobertPreston,whilomdraweratthetavern。Itisnownearlya
  centurysincethistrustydrawerofgoodliquorclosedhisbustling
  career,andwasthusquietlydepositedwithincallofhiscustomers。
  AsIwasclearingawaytheweedsfromhisepitaph,thelittlesexton
  drewmeononesidewithamysteriousair,andinformedmeinalow
  voice,thatonceuponatime,onadarkwintrynight,whenthewind
  wasunruly,howling,andwhistling,bangingaboutdoorsandwindows,
  andtwirlingweathercocks,sothatthelivingwerefrightenedoutof
  theirbeds,andeventhedeadcouldnotsleepquietlyintheirgraves,
  theghostofhonestPreston,whichhappenedtobeairingitselfinthe
  church—yard,wasattractedbythewell—knowncallof"waiter"fromthe
  Boar’sHead,andmadeitssuddenappearanceinthemidstofa
  roaringclub,justastheparishclerkwassingingastavefromthe
  "mirregarlandofCaptainDeath;"tothediscomfitureofsundry
  train—bandcaptains,andtheconversionofaninfidelattorney,who
  becameazealousChristianonthespot,andwasneverknowntotwist
  thetruthafterwards,exceptinthewayofbusiness。
  Ibegitmayberemembered,thatIdonotpledgemyselfforthe
  authenticityofthisanecdote;thoughitiswellknownthatthe
  church—yardsandby—cornersofthisoldmetropolisareverymuch
  infestedwithperturbedspirits;andeveryonemusthaveheardof
  theCockLaneghost,andtheapparitionthatguardstheregaliainthe
  Tower,whichhasfrightenedsomanyboldsentinelsalmostoutoftheir
  wits。
  Beallthisasitmay,thisRobertPrestonseemstohavebeena
  worthysuccessortothenimble—tonguedFrancis,whoattendedupon
  therevelsofPrinceHal;tohavebeenequallypromptwithhis
  "anon,anon,sir;"andtohavetranscendedhispredecessorinhonesty;
  forFalstaff,theveracityofwhosetastenomanwillventureto
  impeach,flatlyaccusesFrancisofputtinglimeinhissack;whereas
  honestPreston’sepitaphlaudshimforthesobrietyofhisconduct,
  thesoundnessofhiswine,andthefairnessofhismeasure。*The
  worthydignitariesofthechurch,however,didnotappearmuch
  captivatedbythesobervirtuesofthetapster;thedeputyorganist,
  whohadamoistlookoutoftheeye,madesomeshrewdremarkonthe
  abstemiousnessofamanbroughtupamongfullhogsheads;andthe
  littlesextoncorroboratedhisopinionbyasignificantwink,anda
  dubiousshakeofthehead。
  *Asthisinscriptionisrifewithexcellentmorality,I
  transcribeitfortheadmonitionofdelinquenttapsters。Itis,no
  doubt,theproductionofsomechoicespirit,whooncefrequentedthe
  Boar’sHead。
  Bacchus,togivethetopingworldsurprise,
  Producedonesoberson,andherehelies。
  Thoughrear’damongfullhogsheads,hedefy’d
  Thecharmsofwine,andeveryonebeside。
  Oreader,iftojusticethou’rtinclined,
  KeephonestPrestondailyinthymind。
  Hedrewgoodwine,tookcaretofillhispots,
  Hadsundryvirtuesthatexcusedhisfaults。
  YouthatonBacchushavethelikedependance,
  PraycopyBobinmeasureandattendance。
  Thusfarmyresearches,thoughtheythrewmuchlightonthe
  historyoftapsters,fishmongers,andLordMayors,yetdisappointedme
  inthegreatobjectofmyquest,thepictureoftheBoar’sHead
  Tavern。NosuchpaintingwastobefoundinthechurchofSt。Michael。
  "Marryandamen!"saidI,"hereendethmyresearch!"SoIwasgiving
  thematterup,withtheairofabaffledantiquary,whenmyfriendthe
  sexton,perceivingmetobecuriousineverythingrelativetotheold
  tavern,offeredtoshowmethechoicevesselsofthevestry,whichhad
  beenhandeddownfromremotetimes,whentheparishmeetingswereheld
  attheBoar’sHead。Theseweredepositedintheparishclub—room,
  whichhadbeentransferred,onthedeclineoftheancient
  establishment,toatavernintheneighborhood。
  Afewstepsbroughtustothehouse,whichstandsNo。12MilesLane,
  bearingthetitleofTheMason’sArms,andiskeptbyMasterEdward
  Honeyball,the"bully—rock"oftheestablishment。Itisoneofthose
  littletavernswhichaboundintheheartofthecity,andformthe
  centreofgossipandintelligenceoftheneighborhood。Weentered
  thebar—room,whichwasnarrowanddarkling;forintheseclose
  lanesbutfewraysofreflectedlightareenabledtostruggledown
  totheinhabitants,whosebroaddayisatbestbutatolerable
  twilight。Theroomwaspartitionedintoboxes,eachcontainingatable
  spreadwithacleanwhitecloth,readyfordinner。Thisshowedthat
  theguestswereofthegoodoldstamp,anddividedtheirday
  equally,foritwasbutjustoneo’clock。Atthelowerendoftheroom
  wasaclearcoalfire,beforewhichabreastoflambwasroasting。A
  rowofbrightbrasscandlesticksandpewtermugsglistenedalongthe
  mantelpiece,andanold—fashionedclocktickedinonecorner。There
  wassomethingprimitiveinthismedleyofkitchen,parlor,andhall,
  thatcarriedmebacktoearliertimes,andpleasedme。Theplace,
  indeed,washumble,buteverythinghadthatlookoforderand
  neatness,whichbespeaksthesuperintendenceofanotableEnglish
  housewife。Agroupofamphibious—lookingbeings,whomightbeeither
  fishermenorsailors,wereregalingthemselvesinoneoftheboxes。As
  Iwasavisitorofratherhigherpretensions,Iwasusheredintoa
  littlemisshapenbackroom,havingatleastninecorners。Itwas
  lightedbyaskylight,furnishedwithantiquatedleathernchairs,
  andornamentedwiththeportraitofafatpig。Itwasevidently
  appropriatedtoparticularcustomers,andIfoundashabby
  gentleman,inarednoseandoil—clothhat,seatedinonecorner,
  meditatingonahalf—emptypotofporter。
  Theoldsextonhadtakenthelandladyaside,andwithanairof
  profoundimportanceimpartedtohermyerrand。DameHoneyballwasa
  likely,plump,bustlinglittlewoman,andnobadsubstituteforthat
  paragonofhostesses,DameQuickly。Sheseemeddelightedwithan
  opportunitytooblige;andhurryingupstairstothearchivesofher
  house,wherethepreciousvesselsoftheparishclubweredeposited,
  shereturned,smilingandcourtesying,withtheminherhands。
  Thefirstshepresentedmewasajapannedirontobacco—box,of
  giganticsize,outofwhich,Iwastold,thevestryhadsmokedat
  theirstatedmeetings,sincetimeimmemorial;andwhichwasnever
  sufferedtobeprofanedbyvulgarhands,orusedoncommon
  occasions。Ireceiveditwithbecomingreverence;butwhatwasmy
  delight,atbeholdingonitscovertheidenticalpaintingofwhichI
  wasinquest!TherewasdisplayedtheoutsideoftheBoar’sHead
  Tavern,andbeforethedoorwastobeseenthewholeconvivial
  group,attable,infullrevel;picturedwiththatwonderful
  fidelityandforce,withwhichtheportraitsofrenownedgenerals
  andcommodoresareillustratedontobacco—boxes,forthebenefitof
  posterity。Lest,however,thereshouldbeanymistake,thecunning
  limnerhadwarilyinscribedthenamesofPrinceHalandFalstaffon
  thebottomsoftheirchairs。
  Ontheinsideofthecoverwasaninscription,nearlyobliterated,
  recordingthatthisboxwasthegiftofSirRichardGore,forthe
  useofthevestrymeetingsattheBoar’sHeadTavern,andthatit
  was"repairedandbeautifiedbyhissuccessor,Mr。JohnPackard,
  1767。"Suchisafaithfuldescriptionofthisaugustandvenerable
  relic;andIquestionwhetherthelearnedScribleriuscontemplatedhis
  Romanshield,ortheKnightsoftheRoundTablethelong—sought
  san—greal,withmoreexultation。
  WhileIwasmeditatingonitwithenrapturedgaze,DameHoneyball,
  whowashighlygratifiedbytheinterestitexcited,putinmyhandsa
  drinkingcuporgoblet,whichalsobelongedtothevestry,andwas
  descendedfromtheoldBoar’sHead。Itboretheinscriptionof
  havingbeenthegiftofFrancisWythers,knight,andwasheld,she
  toldme,inexceedinggreatvalue,beingconsideredvery"antyke。"
  Thislastopinionwasstrengthenedbytheshabbygentlemaninthe
  rednoseandoil—clothhat,andwhomIstronglysuspectedofbeinga
  linealdescendantfromthevaliantBardolph。Hesuddenlyrousedfrom
  hismeditationonthepotofporter,and,castingaknowinglookat
  thegoblet,exclaimed,"Ay,ay!theheaddon’tachenowthatmadethat
  therearticle!"
  Thegreatimportanceattachedtothismementoofancientrevelry
  bymodernchurchwardensatfirstpuzzledme;butthereisnothing
  sharpenstheapprehensionsomuchasantiquarianresearch;forI
  immediatelyperceivedthatthiscouldbenootherthantheidentical
  "parcel—giltgoblet"onwhichFalstaffmadehisloving,but
  faithlessvowtoDameQuickly;andwhichwould,ofcourse,be
  treasuredupwithcareamongtheregaliaofherdomains,asa
  testimonyofthatsolemncontract。*
  *Thoudidstsweartomeuponaparcel—giltgoblet,sittinginmy
  Dolphinchamber,attheroundtable,byasea—coalfire,onWednesday,
  inWhitsunweek,whentheprincebrokethyheadforlikeninghisfather
  toasingingmanatWindsor;thoudidstsweartomethen,asIwas
  washingthywound,tomarryme,andmakememylady,thywife。
  Can’stthoudenyit?—HenryIV。,Part2。
  Minehostess,indeed,gavemealonghistoryhowthegoblethadbeen
  handeddownfromgenerationtogeneration。Shealsoentertainedme
  withmanyparticularsconcerningtheworthyvestrymenwhohave
  seatedthemselvesthusquietlyonthestoolsoftheancientroysterers
  ofEastcheap,and,likesomanycommentators,uttercloudsofsmokein
  honorofShakspeare。TheseIforbeartorelate,lestmyreadersshould
  notbeascuriousinthesemattersasmyself。Sufficeittosay,the
  neighbors,oneandall,aboutEastcheap,believethatFalstaffandhis
  merrycrewactuallylivedandrevelledthere。Nay,thereareseveral
  legendaryanecdotesconcerninghimstillextantamongtheoldest
  frequentersoftheMason’sArms,whichtheygiveastransmitteddown
  fromtheirforefathers;andMr。M’Kash,anIrishhair—dresser,whose
  shopstandsonthesiteoftheoldBoar’sHead,hasseveraldry
  jokesofFatJack’s,notlaiddowninthebooks,withwhichhemakes
  hiscustomersreadytodieoflaughter。