"Atavernistherendezvous,theexchange,thestapleofgood
fellows。Ihaveheardmygreat—grandfathertell,howhis
great—great—grandfathershouldsay,thatitwasanoldproverbwhen
hisgreat—grandfatherwasachild,that’itwasagoodwindthat
blewamantothewine。’"
MOTHERBOMBIE。
ITISapiouscustom,insomeCatholiccountries,tohonorthe
memoryofsaintsbyvotivelightsburntbeforetheirpictures。The
popularityofasaint,therefore,maybeknownbythenumberof
theseofferings。One,perhaps,islefttomoulderinthedarknessof
hislittlechapel;anothermayhaveasolitarylamptothrowits
blinkingraysathwarthiseffigy;whilethewholeblazeofadoration
islavishedattheshrineofsomebeatifiedfatherofrenown。The
wealthydevoteebringshishugeluminaryofwax;theeagerzealot
hisseven—branchedcandlestick,andeventhemendicantpilgrimisby
nomeanssatisfiedthatsufficientlightisthrownuponthe
deceased,unlesshehangsuphislittlelampofsmokingoil。The
consequenceis,thatintheeagernesstoenlighten,theyareoftenapt
toobscure;andIhaveoccasionallyseenanunluckysaintalmost
smokedoutofcountenancebytheofficiousnessofhisfollowers。
InlikemannerhasitfaredwiththeimmortalShakspeare。Every
writerconsidersithisboundendutytolightupsomeportionofhis
characterorworks,andtorescuesomemeritfromoblivion。The
commentator,opulentinwords,producesvasttomesofdissertations;
thecommonherdofeditorssendupmistsofobscurityfromtheirnotes
atthebottomofeachpage;andeverycasualscribblerbringshis
farthingrushlightofeulogyorresearch,toswellthecloudof
incenseandofsmoke。
AsIhonorallestablishedusagesofmybrethrenofthequill,I
thoughtitbutpropertocontributemymiteofhomagetothememoryof
theillustriousbard。Iwasforsometime,however,sorelypuzzled
inwhatwayIshoulddischargethisduty。Ifoundmyselfanticipated
ineveryattemptatanewreading;everydoubtfullinehadbeen
explainedadozendifferentways,andperplexedbeyondthereachof
elucidation;andastofinepassages,theyhadallbeenamply
praisedbypreviousadmirers;nay,socompletelyhadthebard,of
late,beenoverlardedwithpanegyricbyagreatGermancritic,thatit
wasdifficultnowtofindevenafaultthathadnotbeenarguedintoa
beauty。
Inthisperplexity,Iwasonemorningturningoverhispages,whenI
casuallyopeneduponthecomicscenesofHenryIV。,andwas,ina
moment,completelylostinthemadcaprevelryoftheBoar’sHead
Tavern。Sovividlyandnaturallyarethesescenesofhumordepicted,
andwithsuchforceandconsistencyarethecharacterssustained,that
theybecomemingledupinthemindwiththefactsandpersonagesof
reallife。Tofewreadersdoesitoccur,thattheseareallideal
creationsofapoet’sbrain,andthat,insobertruth,nosuchknotof
merryroystererseverenlivenedthedullneighborhoodofEastcheap。
FormypartIlovetogivemyselfuptotheillusionsofpoetry。A
herooffictionthatneverexistedisjustasvaluabletomeasahero
ofhistorythatexistedathousandyearssince:and,ifImaybe
excusedsuchaninsensibilitytothecommontiesofhumannature,I
wouldnotgiveupfatJackforhalfthegreatmenofancient
chronicle。Whathavetheheroesofyoredoneforme,ormenlikeme?
TheyhaveconqueredcountriesofwhichIdonotenjoyanacre;orthey
havegainedlaurelsofwhichIdonotinheritaleaf;ortheyhave
furnishedexamplesofhair—brainedprowess,whichIhaveneitherthe
opportunitynortheinclinationtofollow。But,oldJackFalstaff!—
kindJackFalstaff!sweetJackFalstaff!—hasenlargedthe
boundariesofhumanenjoyment;hehasaddedvastregionsofwitand
goodhumor,inwhichthepoorestmanmayrevel;andhasbequeatheda
never—failinginheritanceofjollylaughter,tomakemankindmerrier
andbettertothelatestposterity。
Athoughtsuddenlystruckme:"Iwillmakeapilgrimageto
Eastcheap,"saidI,closingthebook,"andseeiftheoldBoar’s
HeadTavernstillexists。WhoknowsbutImaylightuponsome
legendarytracesofDameQuicklyandherguests;atanyrate,there
willbeakindredpleasure,intreadingthehallsoncevocalwith
theirmirth,tothatthetoperenjoysinsmellingtotheemptycask
oncefilledwithgenerouswine。"
Theresolutionwasnosoonerformedthanputinexecution。Iforbear
totreatofthevariousadventuresandwondersIencounteredinmy
travels;ofthehauntedregionsofCockLane;ofthefadedglories
ofLittleBritain,andthepartsadjacent;whatperilsIranin
Cateaton—streetandoldJewry;oftherenownedGuildhallanditstwo
stuntedgiants,theprideandwonderofthecity,andtheterrorof
allunluckyurchins;andhowIvisitedLondonStone,andstruckmy
staffuponit,inimitationofthatarchrebel,JackCade。
Letitsufficetosay,thatIatlengtharrivedinmerry
Eastcheap,thatancientregionofwitandwassail,wherethevery
namesofthestreetsrelishedofgoodcheer,asPuddingLanebears
testimonyevenatthepresentday。ForEastcheap,saysoldStowe,"was
alwaysfamousforitsconvivialdoings。Thecookescriedhotribbesof
beefroasted,pieswellbaked,andothervictuals:therewas
clatteringofpewterpots,harpe,pipe,andsawtrie。"Alas!how
sadlyisthescenechangedsincetheroaringdaysofFalstaffand
oldStowe!Themadcaproystererhasgivenplacetotheplodding
tradesman;theclatteringofpotsandthesoundof"harpeand
sawtrie,"tothedinofcartsandtheaccurseddingingofthe
dustman’sbell;andnosongisheard,save,haply,thestrainof
somesirenfromBillingsgate,chantingtheeulogyofdeceased
mackerel。
Isought,invain,fortheancientabodeofDameQuickly。Theonly
relicofitisaboar’shead,carvedinreliefinstone,which
formerlyservedasthesign,butatpresentisbuiltintothe
partinglineoftwohouses,whichstandonthesiteoftherenowned
oldtavern。
Forthehistoryofthislittleabodeofgoodfellowship,Iwas
referredtoatallow—chandler’swidow,opposite,whohadbeenbornand
broughtuponthespot,andwaslookeduptoastheindisputable
chronicleroftheneighborhood。Ifoundherseatedinalittleback
parlor,thewindowofwhichlookedoutuponayardabouteightfeet
square,laidoutasaflower—garden;whileaglassdooropposite
affordedadistantpeepofthestreet,throughavistaofsoapand
tallowcandles:thetwoviews,whichcomprised,inallprobability,
herprospectsinlife,andthelittleworldinwhichshehadlived,
andmoved,andhadherbeing,forthebetterpartofacentury。
TobeversedinthehistoryofEastcheap,greatandlittle,from
LondonStoneevenuntotheMonument,wasdoubtless,inheropinion,to
beacquaintedwiththehistoryoftheuniverse。Yet,withallthis,
shepossessedthesimplicityoftruewisdom,andthatliberal
communicativedisposition,whichIhavegenerallyremarkedin
intelligentoldladies,knowingintheconcernsoftheirneighborhood。
Herinformation,however,didnotextendfarbackintoantiquity。
ShecouldthrownolightuponthehistoryoftheBoar’sHead,fromthe
timethatDameQuicklyespousedthevaliantPistol,untilthegreat
fireofLondon,whenitwasunfortunatelyburntdown。Itwassoon
rebuilt,andcontinuedtoflourishundertheoldnameandsign,
untiladyinglandlord,struckwithremorsefordoublescores,bad
measures,andotheriniquities,whichareincidenttothesinful
raceofpublicans,endeavoredtomakehispeacewithheaven,by
bequeathingthetaverntoSt。Michael’sChurch,CrookedLane,
towardsthesupportingofachaplain。Forsometimethevestry
meetingswereregularlyheldthere;butitwasobservedthattheold
Boarneverhelduphisheadunderchurchgovernment。Hegradually
declined,andfinallygavehislastgaspaboutthirtyyearssince。The
tavernwasthenturnedintoshops;butsheinformedmethata
pictureofitwasstillpreservedinSt。Michael’sChurch,whichstood
justintherear。Togetasightofthispicturewasnowmy
determination;so,havinginformedmyselfoftheabodeofthe
sexton,ItookmyleaveofthevenerablechroniclerofEastcheap,my
visithavingdoubtlessraisedgreatlyheropinionofherlegendary
lore,andfurnishedanimportantincidentinthehistoryofherlife。
Itcostmesomedifficulty,andmuchcuriousinquiry,toferret
outthehumblehanger—ontothechurch。IhadtoexploreCrookedLane,
anddiverslittlealleys,andelbows,anddarkpassages,withwhich
thisoldcityisperforated,likeanancientcheese,oraworm—eaten
chestofdrawers。AtlengthItracedhimtoacornerofasmall
courtsurroundedbyloftyhouses,wheretheinhabitantsenjoyaboutas
muchofthefaceofheaven,asacommunityoffrogsatthebottomofa
well。
Thesextonwasameek,acquiescinglittleman,ofabowing,lowly
habit:yethehadapleasanttwinklinginhiseye,and,ifencouraged,
wouldnowandthenhazardasmallpleasantry;suchasamanofhislow
estatemightventuretomakeinthecompanyofhighchurchwardens,and
othermightymenoftheearth。Ifoundhimincompanywiththe
deputyorganist,seatedapart,likeMilton’sangels,discoursing,no
doubt,onhighdoctrinalpoints,andsettlingtheaffairsofthe
churchoverafriendlypotofale—forthelowerclassesofEnglish
seldomdeliberateonanyweightymatterwithouttheassistanceofa
cooltankardtocleartheirunderstandings。Iarrivedatthemoment
whentheyhadfinishedtheiraleandtheirargument,andwereaboutto
repairtothechurchtoputitinorder;sohavingmadeknownmy
wishes,Ireceivedtheirgraciouspermissiontoaccompanythem。
ThechurchofSt。Michael’s,CrookedLane,standingashortdistance
fromBillingsgate,isenrichedwiththetombsofmanyfishmongersof
renown;andaseveryprofessionhasitsgalaxyofglory,andits
constellationofgreatmen,Ipresumethemonumentofamighty
fishmongeroftheoldentimeisregardedwithasmuchreverenceby
succeedinggenerationsofthecraft,aspoetsfeeloncontemplating
thetombofVirgil,orsoldiersthemonumentofaMarlboroughor
Turenne。
Icannotbutturnaside,whilethusspeakingofillustriousmen,
toobservethatSt。Michael’s,CrookedLane,containsalsotheashes
ofthatdoughtychampion,WilliamWalworth,knight,whosomanfully
clovedownthesturdywight,WatTyler,inSmithfield;aheroworthy
ofhonorableblazon,asalmosttheonlyLordMayoronrecordfamous
fordeedsofarms:—thesovereignsofCockneybeinggenerallyrenowned
asthemostpacificofallpotentates。*
*Thefollowingwastheancientinscriptiononthemonumentof
thisworthy;which,unhappily,wasdestroyedinthegreat
conflagration。
HereunderlythamanofFame,
WilliamWalworthcallydbyname;
Fishmongerhewasinlyfftimehere,
AndtwiseLordMaior,asinbooksappere;
Who,withcouragestoutandmanlymyght,
SlewJackStrawinKyngRichard’ssight。
Forwhichactdone,andtrewentent,
TheKyngmadehimknyghtincontinent;
Andgavehimarmes,ashereyousee,
Todeclarehisfactandchivaldrie。
HeleftthislyfftheyereofourGod
Thirteenhundredfourscoreandthreeodd。
Anerrorintheforegoinginscriptionhasbeencorrectedbythe
venerableStowe。"Whereas,"saithhe,"ithathbeenfarspread
abroadbyvulgaropinion,thattherebelsmittendownsomanfullyby
SirWilliamWalworth,thethenworthyLordMaior,wasnamedJack
Straw,andnotWatTyler,Ithoughtgoodtoreconcilethis
rash—conceiveddoubtbysuchtestimonyasIfindinancientandgood
records。Theprincipalleaders,orcaptains,ofthecommons,were
WatTyler,asthefirstman;thesecondwasJohn,orJack,Straw,"
etc。,etc。
STOWE’SLONDON。
Adjoiningthechurch,inasmallcemetery,immediatelyunderthe
backwindowofwhatwasoncetheBoar’sHead,standsthetombstone
ofRobertPreston,whilomdraweratthetavern。Itisnownearlya
centurysincethistrustydrawerofgoodliquorclosedhisbustling
career,andwasthusquietlydepositedwithincallofhiscustomers。
AsIwasclearingawaytheweedsfromhisepitaph,thelittlesexton
drewmeononesidewithamysteriousair,andinformedmeinalow
voice,thatonceuponatime,onadarkwintrynight,whenthewind
wasunruly,howling,andwhistling,bangingaboutdoorsandwindows,
andtwirlingweathercocks,sothatthelivingwerefrightenedoutof
theirbeds,andeventhedeadcouldnotsleepquietlyintheirgraves,
theghostofhonestPreston,whichhappenedtobeairingitselfinthe
church—yard,wasattractedbythewell—knowncallof"waiter"fromthe
Boar’sHead,andmadeitssuddenappearanceinthemidstofa
roaringclub,justastheparishclerkwassingingastavefromthe
"mirregarlandofCaptainDeath;"tothediscomfitureofsundry
train—bandcaptains,andtheconversionofaninfidelattorney,who
becameazealousChristianonthespot,andwasneverknowntotwist
thetruthafterwards,exceptinthewayofbusiness。
Ibegitmayberemembered,thatIdonotpledgemyselfforthe
authenticityofthisanecdote;thoughitiswellknownthatthe
church—yardsandby—cornersofthisoldmetropolisareverymuch
infestedwithperturbedspirits;andeveryonemusthaveheardof
theCockLaneghost,andtheapparitionthatguardstheregaliainthe
Tower,whichhasfrightenedsomanyboldsentinelsalmostoutoftheir
wits。
Beallthisasitmay,thisRobertPrestonseemstohavebeena
worthysuccessortothenimble—tonguedFrancis,whoattendedupon
therevelsofPrinceHal;tohavebeenequallypromptwithhis
"anon,anon,sir;"andtohavetranscendedhispredecessorinhonesty;
forFalstaff,theveracityofwhosetastenomanwillventureto
impeach,flatlyaccusesFrancisofputtinglimeinhissack;whereas
honestPreston’sepitaphlaudshimforthesobrietyofhisconduct,
thesoundnessofhiswine,andthefairnessofhismeasure。*The
worthydignitariesofthechurch,however,didnotappearmuch
captivatedbythesobervirtuesofthetapster;thedeputyorganist,
whohadamoistlookoutoftheeye,madesomeshrewdremarkonthe
abstemiousnessofamanbroughtupamongfullhogsheads;andthe
littlesextoncorroboratedhisopinionbyasignificantwink,anda
dubiousshakeofthehead。
*Asthisinscriptionisrifewithexcellentmorality,I
transcribeitfortheadmonitionofdelinquenttapsters。Itis,no
doubt,theproductionofsomechoicespirit,whooncefrequentedthe
Boar’sHead。
Bacchus,togivethetopingworldsurprise,
Producedonesoberson,andherehelies。
Thoughrear’damongfullhogsheads,hedefy’d
Thecharmsofwine,andeveryonebeside。
Oreader,iftojusticethou’rtinclined,
KeephonestPrestondailyinthymind。
Hedrewgoodwine,tookcaretofillhispots,
Hadsundryvirtuesthatexcusedhisfaults。
YouthatonBacchushavethelikedependance,
PraycopyBobinmeasureandattendance。
Thusfarmyresearches,thoughtheythrewmuchlightonthe
historyoftapsters,fishmongers,andLordMayors,yetdisappointedme
inthegreatobjectofmyquest,thepictureoftheBoar’sHead
Tavern。NosuchpaintingwastobefoundinthechurchofSt。Michael。
"Marryandamen!"saidI,"hereendethmyresearch!"SoIwasgiving
thematterup,withtheairofabaffledantiquary,whenmyfriendthe
sexton,perceivingmetobecuriousineverythingrelativetotheold
tavern,offeredtoshowmethechoicevesselsofthevestry,whichhad
beenhandeddownfromremotetimes,whentheparishmeetingswereheld
attheBoar’sHead。Theseweredepositedintheparishclub—room,
whichhadbeentransferred,onthedeclineoftheancient
establishment,toatavernintheneighborhood。
Afewstepsbroughtustothehouse,whichstandsNo。12MilesLane,
bearingthetitleofTheMason’sArms,andiskeptbyMasterEdward
Honeyball,the"bully—rock"oftheestablishment。Itisoneofthose
littletavernswhichaboundintheheartofthecity,andformthe
centreofgossipandintelligenceoftheneighborhood。Weentered
thebar—room,whichwasnarrowanddarkling;forintheseclose
lanesbutfewraysofreflectedlightareenabledtostruggledown
totheinhabitants,whosebroaddayisatbestbutatolerable
twilight。Theroomwaspartitionedintoboxes,eachcontainingatable
spreadwithacleanwhitecloth,readyfordinner。Thisshowedthat
theguestswereofthegoodoldstamp,anddividedtheirday
equally,foritwasbutjustoneo’clock。Atthelowerendoftheroom
wasaclearcoalfire,beforewhichabreastoflambwasroasting。A
rowofbrightbrasscandlesticksandpewtermugsglistenedalongthe
mantelpiece,andanold—fashionedclocktickedinonecorner。There
wassomethingprimitiveinthismedleyofkitchen,parlor,andhall,
thatcarriedmebacktoearliertimes,andpleasedme。Theplace,
indeed,washumble,buteverythinghadthatlookoforderand
neatness,whichbespeaksthesuperintendenceofanotableEnglish
housewife。Agroupofamphibious—lookingbeings,whomightbeeither
fishermenorsailors,wereregalingthemselvesinoneoftheboxes。As
Iwasavisitorofratherhigherpretensions,Iwasusheredintoa
littlemisshapenbackroom,havingatleastninecorners。Itwas
lightedbyaskylight,furnishedwithantiquatedleathernchairs,
andornamentedwiththeportraitofafatpig。Itwasevidently
appropriatedtoparticularcustomers,andIfoundashabby
gentleman,inarednoseandoil—clothhat,seatedinonecorner,
meditatingonahalf—emptypotofporter。
Theoldsextonhadtakenthelandladyaside,andwithanairof
profoundimportanceimpartedtohermyerrand。DameHoneyballwasa
likely,plump,bustlinglittlewoman,andnobadsubstituteforthat
paragonofhostesses,DameQuickly。Sheseemeddelightedwithan
opportunitytooblige;andhurryingupstairstothearchivesofher
house,wherethepreciousvesselsoftheparishclubweredeposited,
shereturned,smilingandcourtesying,withtheminherhands。
Thefirstshepresentedmewasajapannedirontobacco—box,of
giganticsize,outofwhich,Iwastold,thevestryhadsmokedat
theirstatedmeetings,sincetimeimmemorial;andwhichwasnever
sufferedtobeprofanedbyvulgarhands,orusedoncommon
occasions。Ireceiveditwithbecomingreverence;butwhatwasmy
delight,atbeholdingonitscovertheidenticalpaintingofwhichI
wasinquest!TherewasdisplayedtheoutsideoftheBoar’sHead
Tavern,andbeforethedoorwastobeseenthewholeconvivial
group,attable,infullrevel;picturedwiththatwonderful
fidelityandforce,withwhichtheportraitsofrenownedgenerals
andcommodoresareillustratedontobacco—boxes,forthebenefitof
posterity。Lest,however,thereshouldbeanymistake,thecunning
limnerhadwarilyinscribedthenamesofPrinceHalandFalstaffon
thebottomsoftheirchairs。
Ontheinsideofthecoverwasaninscription,nearlyobliterated,
recordingthatthisboxwasthegiftofSirRichardGore,forthe
useofthevestrymeetingsattheBoar’sHeadTavern,andthatit
was"repairedandbeautifiedbyhissuccessor,Mr。JohnPackard,
1767。"Suchisafaithfuldescriptionofthisaugustandvenerable
relic;andIquestionwhetherthelearnedScribleriuscontemplatedhis
Romanshield,ortheKnightsoftheRoundTablethelong—sought
san—greal,withmoreexultation。
WhileIwasmeditatingonitwithenrapturedgaze,DameHoneyball,
whowashighlygratifiedbytheinterestitexcited,putinmyhandsa
drinkingcuporgoblet,whichalsobelongedtothevestry,andwas
descendedfromtheoldBoar’sHead。Itboretheinscriptionof
havingbeenthegiftofFrancisWythers,knight,andwasheld,she
toldme,inexceedinggreatvalue,beingconsideredvery"antyke。"
Thislastopinionwasstrengthenedbytheshabbygentlemaninthe
rednoseandoil—clothhat,andwhomIstronglysuspectedofbeinga
linealdescendantfromthevaliantBardolph。Hesuddenlyrousedfrom
hismeditationonthepotofporter,and,castingaknowinglookat
thegoblet,exclaimed,"Ay,ay!theheaddon’tachenowthatmadethat
therearticle!"
Thegreatimportanceattachedtothismementoofancientrevelry
bymodernchurchwardensatfirstpuzzledme;butthereisnothing
sharpenstheapprehensionsomuchasantiquarianresearch;forI
immediatelyperceivedthatthiscouldbenootherthantheidentical
"parcel—giltgoblet"onwhichFalstaffmadehisloving,but
faithlessvowtoDameQuickly;andwhichwould,ofcourse,be
treasuredupwithcareamongtheregaliaofherdomains,asa
testimonyofthatsolemncontract。*
*Thoudidstsweartomeuponaparcel—giltgoblet,sittinginmy
Dolphinchamber,attheroundtable,byasea—coalfire,onWednesday,
inWhitsunweek,whentheprincebrokethyheadforlikeninghisfather
toasingingmanatWindsor;thoudidstsweartomethen,asIwas
washingthywound,tomarryme,andmakememylady,thywife。
Can’stthoudenyit?—HenryIV。,Part2。
Minehostess,indeed,gavemealonghistoryhowthegoblethadbeen
handeddownfromgenerationtogeneration。Shealsoentertainedme
withmanyparticularsconcerningtheworthyvestrymenwhohave
seatedthemselvesthusquietlyonthestoolsoftheancientroysterers
ofEastcheap,and,likesomanycommentators,uttercloudsofsmokein
honorofShakspeare。TheseIforbeartorelate,lestmyreadersshould
notbeascuriousinthesemattersasmyself。Sufficeittosay,the
neighbors,oneandall,aboutEastcheap,believethatFalstaffandhis
merrycrewactuallylivedandrevelledthere。Nay,thereareseveral
legendaryanecdotesconcerninghimstillextantamongtheoldest
frequentersoftheMason’sArms,whichtheygiveastransmitteddown
fromtheirforefathers;andMr。M’Kash,anIrishhair—dresser,whose
shopstandsonthesiteoftheoldBoar’sHead,hasseveraldry
jokesofFatJack’s,notlaiddowninthebooks,withwhichhemakes
hiscustomersreadytodieoflaughter。