Indeed,sometimes,whenthedoorbywhichsheusedtoenterwasopenedbyanychance,Mollycaughtherselflookingroundasifsheexpectedtoseethetall,languidfigureintheelegantdraperiesofrichsilkandsoftlace,whichMrsHamleywaswonttowearofanevening。Thisevening,itstruckher,asanewthoughtofpain,thatintothatroomshewouldcomenomore。Shehadfixedtogiveherfather’smessageatthisverypointoftime;butsomethinginherthroatchokedher,andshehardlyknewhowtogovernhervoice。Thesquiregotupandwenttothebroadfire—place,tostrikeintothemiddleofthegreatlog,andsplititupintoblazing,sparklingpieces。Hisbackwastowardsher。Mollybegan,’Whenpapawashereto—day,hebademetellyouhehadwrittentoMrRogerHamleytosaythat—thathethoughthehadbettercomehome;andheenclosedalettertoMrOsborneHamleytosaythesamething。’Thesquireputdownthepoker,buthestillkepthisbacktoMolly。’HesentforOsborneandRoger?’heasked,atlength。Mollyanswered,’Yes。’Thentherewasadeadsilence,whichMollythoughtwouldneverend。Thesquirehadplacedhistwohandsonthehighchimney—piece,andstoodleaningoverthefire。’RogerwouldhavebeendownfromCambridgeonthe18th,’saidhe。’AndhehassentforOsborne,too!Didheknow,’—hecontinued,turningroundtoMolly,withsomethingofthefiercenessshehadanticipatedinvoiceandlook。Inanothermomenthehaddroppedhisvoice。’Itisright,quiteright。Iunderstand。Ithascomeatlength。Come!come!Osbornehasbroughtiton,though,’withafreshaccessofangerinhistones。’Shemighthave’
(somewordMollycouldnothear—shethoughtitsoundedlike’lingered’)
’butforthat。Icannotforgivehim;Icannot。’Andthenhesuddenlylefttheroom。WhileMollysatetherestill,verysadinhersympathywithall,heputhisheadinagain,—’Gotoher,mydear;Icannot—notjustyet。ButIwillsoon。Justthisbit;andafterthatIwon’tloseamoment。Youareagoodgirl。Godblessyou!’ItisnottobesupposedthatMollyhadremainedallthistimeattheHallwithoutinterruption。Onceortwiceherfatherhadbroughtherasummonshome。Mollythoughtshecouldperceivethathehadbroughtitunwillingly;
infact,itwasMrsGibsonthathadsentforher,almost,asitwere,topreservea’rightofway’throughheractions。’Youshallcomebackto—morrow,orthenextday,’herfatherhadsaid。
’Butmammaseemstothinkpeoplewillputabadconstructiononyourbeingsomuchwayfromhomesosoonafterourmarriage。’’Oh,papa,I’mafraidMrsHamleywillmissme!Idosolikebeingwithher。’’Idon’tthinkitislikelyshewillmissyouasmuchasshewouldhavedoneamonthortwoago。Shesleepssomuchnow,thatsheisscarcelyconsciousofthelapseoftime。I’llseethatyoucomebackhereagaininadayortwo。’SooutofthesilenceandthesoftmelancholyoftheHallMollyreturnedintotheall—pervadingelementofchatterandgossipatHollingford。MrsGibsonreceivedherkindlyenough。Once’shehadasmartnewwinterbonnetreadytogiveherasapresent;butshedidnotcaretohearanyparticularsaboutthefriendswhomMollyhadjustleft;andherfewremarksonthestateofaffairsattheHalljarredterriblyonthesensitiveMolly。’Whatatimeshelingers!Yourpapaneverexpectedshewouldlasthalfsolongafterthatattack。Itmustbeverywearingworktothemall;I
declareyoulookquiteanothercreaturesinceyouwentthere。Onecanonlywishitmayn’tlast,fortheirsakes。’’Youdon’tknowhowthesquirevalueseveryminute,’saidMolly。’Why,yousayshesleepsagreatdeal,anddoesn’ttalkmuchwhenshe’sawake,andthere’snottheslightesthopeforher。Andyet,atsuchtimes,peoplearekeptonthetenterhookswithwatchingandwaiting。IknowitbymydearKirkpatrick。TherereallyweredayswhenIthoughtitneverwouldend。Butwewon’ttalkanymoreofsuchdismalthings;you’vehadquiteenoughofthem,I’msure,anditalwaysmakesmemelancholytohearofillnessanddeath;andyetyourpapaseemssometimesasifhecouldtalkofnothingelse。I’mgoingtotakeyououtto—night,though,andthatwillgiveyousomethingofachange;andI’vebeengettingMissRosetotrimuponeofmyoldgownsforyou;it’stootightforme。There’ssometalkofdancing,—it’satMrsEdward’s。’’Oh,mamma,Icannotgo!’criedMolly。’I’vebeensomuchwithher;andshemaybesufferingso,orevendying—andItobedancing!’’Nonsense!You’renorelation,soyouneednotfeelitsomuch。Iwouldn’turgeyou,ifshewaslikelytoknowaboutitandbehurt;butasitis,it’sallfixedthatyouaretogo;anddon’tletushaveanynonsenseaboutit。Wemightsittwirlingourthumbs,andrepeatinghymnsallourliveslong,ifweweretodonothingelsewhenpeopleweredying。’’Icannotgo,’repeatedMolly。And,actinguponimpulse,andalmosttoherownsurprise,sheappealedtoherfather,whocameintotheroomatthisverytime。Hecontractedhisdarkeyebrows,andlookedannoyedasbothwifeanddaughterpouredtheirdifferentsidesoftheargumentintohisears。Hesatedownindesperationofpatience。Whenhisturncametopronounceadecision,hesaid,—’IsupposeIcanhavesomelunch?Iwentawayatsixthismorning,andthere’snothinginthedining—room。Ihavetogooffagaindirectly。’Mollystartedtothedoor;MrsGibsonmadehastetoringthebell。’Whereareyougoing,Molly?’saidshe,sharply。’Onlytoseeaboutpapa’slunch。’’Thereareservantstodoit;andIdon’tlikeyourgoingintothekitchen。’’Come,Molly!sitdownandbequiet,’saidherfather。’Onecomeshomewantingpeaceandquietness—andfoodtoo。IfIamtobeappealedto,whichIbegImaynotbeanothertime,IsettlethatMollystopshomethisevening。Ishallcomebacklateandtired。SeethatIhavesomethingreadytocat,goosey,andthenI’lldressmyselfupinmybest,andgoandfetchyouhome,mydear。Iwishalltheseweddingfestivitieswerewellover。
Ready,isit?ThenI’llgointothedining—roomandgorgemyself。Adoctoroughttobeabletoeatlikeacamel,orlikeMajorDugaldDalgetty。’ItwaswellforMollythatcallerscameinjustatthistime,forMrsGibsonwasextremelyannoyed。Theytoldhersomelittlelocalpieceofnews,however,whichfilleduphermind;andMollyfoundthat,ifsheonlyexpressedwonderenoughattheengagementtheyhadbothheardoffromthedepartedcallers,thepreviousdiscussionastoheraccompanyingherstepmotherornotmightbeentirelypassedover。Notentirelythough;forthenextmorningshehadtolistentoaverybrilliantlytouched—upaccountofthedanceandthegaietywhichshehadmissed;andalsotobetoldthatMrsGibsonhadchangedhermindaboutgivingherthegown,andthoughtnowthatsheshouldreserveitforCynthia,ifonlyitwaslongenough;butCynthiawassotall—quiteovergrown,infact。ThechancesseemedequallybalancedastowhetherMollymightnothavethegownafterall。
chapter18CHAPTERXVIIIMROSBORNE’SSECRETOsborneandRogercametotheHall;MollyfoundRogerestablishedtherewhenshereturnedafterthisabsenceathome。ShegatheredthatOsbornewascoming;butverylittlewassaidabouthiminanyway。Thesquirescarcelyeverlefthiswife’sroomnow;hesatbyher,watchingher,andnowandthenmoaningtohimself。Shewassomuchundertheinfluenceofopiatesthatshedidnotoftenrouseup;butwhenshedid,shealmostinvariablyaskedforMolly。Intheirraretê;te—à;—tê;te,shewouldaskafterOsborne—wherehewas,ifhehadbeentold,andifhewascoming?Inherweakenedandconfusedstateofintellectsheseemedtohaveretainedtwostrongimpressions—one,ofthesympathywithwhichMollyhadreceivedherconfidenceaboutOsborne;theother,oftheangerwhichherhusbandentertainedagainsthim。BeforethesquireshenevermentionedOsborne’sname;nordidsheseemathercaseinspeakingabouthimtoRoger,while,whenshewasalonewithMolly,shehardlyspokeofanyoneelse。ShemusthavehadsomesortofwanderingideathatRogerblamedhisbrother,whilesherememberedMolly’seagerdefence,whichshehadthoughthopelesslyimprobableatthetime。AtanyrateshemadeMollyherconfidanteaboutherfirst—born。ShesenthertoaskRogerhowsoonhewouldcome,forsheseemedtoknowperfectlywellthathewascoming。’TellmeallRogersays。Hewilltellyou。’ButitwasseveraldaysbeforeMollycouldaskRogeranyquestions;andmeanwhileMrsHamley’sstatehadmateriallyaltered。AtlengthMollycameuponRogersittinginthelibrary,hisheadburiedinhishands。Hedidnothearherfootsteptillshewasclosebesidehim。Thenhelifteduphisface,red,andstainedwithtears,hishairallruffledupandindisorder。’I’vebeenwantingtoseeyoualone,’shebegan。’YourmotherdoessowantsomenewsofyourbrotherOsborne。Shetoldmelastweektoaskyouabouthim,butIdidnotliketospeakofhimbeforeyourfather。’’Shehashardlyevernamedhimtome。’’Idon’tknowwhy;fortomesheusedtotalkofhimperpetually。Ihaveseensolittleofherthisweek,andIthinksheforgetsagreatdealnow。
Still,ifyoudon’tmind,Ishouldliketobeabletotellhersomethingifsheasksmeagain。’Heputhisheadagainbetweenhishands,anddidnotanswerherforsometime。’Whatdoesshewanttoknow?’saidhe,atlast。’DoessheknowthatOsborneiscomingsoon—anyday?’’Yes。Butshewantstoknowwhereheis。’’Ican’ttellyou。Idon’texactlyknow。Ibelievehe’sabroad,butI’mnotsure。’’Butyou’vesentpapa’slettertohim?’’I’vesentittoafriendofhiswhowillknowbetterthanIdowherehe’stobefound。Youmustknowthatheisn’tfreefromcreditors,Molly。Youcan’thavebeenoneofthefamily,likeachildofthehousealmost,withoutknowingthatmuch。ForthatandforsomeotherreasonsIdon’texactlyknowwhereheis。’’Iwilltellherso。Youaresurehewillcome?’’Quitesure。But,Molly,Ithinkmymothermaylivesometimeyet;don’tyou?DrNichollssaidsoyesterdaywhenhewasherewithyourfather。Hesaidshehadralliedmorethanhehadeverexpected。You’renotafraidofanychangethatmakesyousoanxiousforOsborne’scoming?’’No。It’sonlyforherthatIasked。Shedidseemsotocravefornewsofhim。Ithinkshedreamedofhim;andthenwhenshewakeneditwasarelieftohertotalkabouthimtome。Shealwaysseemedtoassociatemewithhim。Weusedtospeaksomuchofhimwhenweweretogether。’’Idon’tknowwhatweshouldanyofushavedonewithoutyou。You’vebeenlikeadaughtertomymother。’’Idosoloveher,’saidMolly,softly。’Yes;Isee。Haveyouevernoticedthatshesometimescallsyou"Fanny"?
Itwasthenameofalittlesisterofourswhodied。Ithinksheoftentakesyouforher。Itwaspartlythat,andpartlythatatsuchatimeasthisonecan’tstandonformalities,thatmademecallyouMolly。Ihopeyoudon’tmindit?’’No;Ilikeit。Butwillyoutellmesomethingmoreaboutyourbrother?
Shereallyhungersfornewsofhim。’’She’dbetteraskmeherself。Yet,no!Iamsoinvolvedbypromisesofsecrecy,Molly,thatIcouldn’tsatisfyherifsheoncebegantoquestionme。Ibelievehe’sinBelgium,andthathewentthereaboutafortnightago,partlytoavoidhiscreditors。Youknowmyfatherhasrefusedtopayhisdebts?’’Yes;atleast,Iknewsomethinglikeit。’’Idon’tbelievemyfathercouldraisethemoneyallatoncewithouthavingrecoursetostepswhichhewouldexceedinglyrecoilfrom。YetforthetimeitplacesOsborneinaveryawkwardposition。’’Ithinkwhatvexesyourfatheragooddealissomemysteryastohowthemoneywasspent。’’Ifmymothereversaysanythingaboutthatpartoftheaffair,’saidRoger,hastily,’assureherfrommethatthere’snothingofviceorwrong—doingaboutit。Ican’tsaymore:I’mtied。Butsethermindateaseonthispoint。’’I’mnotsureifsheremembersallherpainfulanxietyaboutthis,’saidMolly。’Sheusedtospeakagreatdealtomeabouthimbeforeyoucame,whenyourfatherseemedsoangry。Andnow,wheneversheseesmeshewantstotalkontheoldsubject;butshedoesn’tremembersoclearly。IfsheweretoseehimIdon’tbelieveshewouldrecollectwhyshewasuneasyabouthimwhilehewasabsent。’’Hemustbeheresoon。Iexpecthimeveryday,’saidRoger,uneasily。’Doyouthinkyourfatherwillbeveryangrywithhim?’askedMolly,withasmuchtimidityasifthesquire’sdispleasuremightbedirectedagainsther。’Idon’tknow,’saidRoger。’Mymother’sillnessmayalterhim;buthedidn’teasilyforgiveusformerly。Irememberonce—butthatisnothingtothepurpose。Ican’thelpfancyingthathehasputhimselfundersomestrongrestraintformymother’ssake,andthathewon’texpressmuch。
Butitdoesn’tfollowthathewillforgetit。Myfatherisamanoffewaffections,butwhathehasareverystrong;hefeelsanythingthattoucheshimonthesepointsdeeplyandpermanently。Thatunluckyvaluingoftheproperty!Ithasgivenmyfathertheideaofpost—obits——’’Whatarethey?’askedMolly。’Raisingmoneytobepaidonmyfather’sdeath,which,ofcourse,involvescalculationsastothedurationofhislife。’’Howshocking!’saidshe。’I’massureasIamofmyownlifethatOsborneneverdidanythingofthekind。ButmyfatherexpressedhissuspicionsinlanguagethatirritatedOsborne;andhedoesn’tspeakout,andwon’tjustifyhimselfevenasmuchashemight;and,muchashelovesme,I’vebutlittleinfluenceoverhim,orelsehewouldtellmyfatherall。Well,wemustleaveittotime,’headded,sighing。’Mymotherwouldhavebroughtusallright,ifshe’dbeenwhatsheoncewas。’HeturnedawayleavingMollyverysad。Sheknewthateverymemberofthefamilyshecaredforsomuchwasintrouble,outofwhichshesawnoexit;
andhersmallpowerofhelpingthemwasdiminishingdaybydayasMrsHamleysankmoreandmoreundertheinfluenceofopiatesandstupefyingillness。
Herfatherhadspokentoheronlythisverydayofthedesirablenessofherreturninghomeforgood。MrsGibsonwantedher—fornoparticularreason,butformanysmallfragmentsofreasons。MrsHamleyhadceasedtowanthermuch,onlyoccasionallyappearingtorememberherexistence。
Herposition(herfatherthought—theideahadnotenteredherhead)inafamilyofwhichtheonlywomanwasaninvalidconfinedtobed,wasbecomingawkward。ButMollyhadbeggedhardtoremaintwoorthreedayslonger—
onlythat—onlytillFriday。IfMrsHamleyshouldwanther(sheargued,withtearsinhereyes),andshouldhearthatshehadleftthehouse,shewouldthinkhersounkind,soungrateful!’Mydearchild,she’sgettingpastwantinganyone!Thekeennessofearthlyfeelingsisdeadened。’’Papa,thatisworstofall。Icannotbearit。Iwon’tbelieveit。Shemaynotaskformeagain,andmayquiteforgetme;butI’msure,totheverylast,ifthemedicinesdon’tstupefyher,shewilllookroundforthesquireandherchildren。ForpoorOsbornemostofall;becausehe’sinsorrow。’MrGibsonshookhishead,butsaidnothinginreply。Inaminuteortwoheasked,—’Idon’tliketotakeyouawaywhileyouevenfancyyoucanbeofuseorcomforttoonewhohasbeensokindtoyou。But,ifshehasn’twantedyoubeforeFriday,willyoubeconvinced,willyoucomehomewillingly?’’IfIgothen,Imayseeheronceagain,evenifshehasn’taskedforme?’
inquiredMolly。’Yes,ofcourse。Youmustmakenonoise,nostep;butyoumaygoinandseeher。Imusttellyou,I’malmostcertainshewon’taskforyou。’’Butshemay,papa。IwillgohomeonFriday,ifshehasnot。Ithinkshewill。’SoMollyhungaboutthehouse,tryingtodoallshecouldoutofthesick—room,forthecomfortofthoseinit。Theyonlycameoutformeals,orfornecessarybusiness,andfoundlittletimefortalkingtoher,soherlifewassolitaryenough,waitingforthecallthatnevercame。TheeveningofthedayonwhichshehadhadtheaboveconversationwithRoger,Osbornearrived。Hecamestraightintothedrawing—room,whereMollywasseatedontherug,readingbyfirelight,asshedidnotliketoringforcandiesmerelyforherownuse。Osbornecamein,withakindofhurry,whichalmostmadehimappearasifhewouldtriphimselfup,andfalldown。Mollyrose。Hehadnotnoticedherbefore;nowhecameforwards,andtookholdofbothherhands,leadingherintothefullflickeringlight,andstraininghiseyestolookintoherface。’Howisshe?Youwilltellme—youmustknowthetruth!I’vetravelleddayandnightsinceIgotyourfather’sletter。’Beforeshecouldframeheranswer,hehadsatedowninthenearestchair,coveringhiseyeswithhishand。’She’sveryill,’saidMolly。’Thatyouknow;butIdon’tthinkshesuffersmuchpain。Shehaswantedyousadly。’Hegroanedaloud。’Myfatherforbademetocome。’’Iknow!’saidMolly,anxioustopreventhisself—reproach。’Yourbrotherwasaway,too。Ithinknooneknewhowillshewas—shehadbeenaninvalidforsolong。’’Youknow——Yes!shetoldyouagreatdeal—shewasveryfondofyou。
AndGodknowshowIlovedher。IfIhadnotbeenforbiddentocomehome,Ishouldhavetoldherall。Doesmyfatherknowofmycomingnow?’’Yes,’saidMolly;’Itoldhimpapahadsentforyou。’Justatthatmomentthesquirecamein。HehadnotheardofOsborne’sarrival,andwasseekingMollytoaskhertowritealetterforhim。Osbornedidnotstandupwhenhisfatherentered。Hewastoomuchexhausted,toomuchoppressedbyhisfeelings,andalsotoomuchestrangedbyhisfather’sangry,suspiciousletters。Ifhehadcomeforwardswithanymanifestationoffeelingatthismoment,everythingmighthavebeendifferent。Buthewaitedforhisfathertoseehimbeforeheutteredaword。Allthatthesquiresaidwhenhiseyefelluponhimatlastwas,—’Youhere,sir!’And,breakingoffinthedirectionshewasgivingtoMolly,heabruptlylefttheroom。Allthetimehisheartwasyearningafterhisfirst—born;
butmutualpridekeptthemasunder。Yethewentstraighttothebutler,andaskedofhimwhenMrOsbornehadarrived,andhowhehadcomeandifhehadhadanyrefreshment—dinnerorwhat—sincehisarrival?’ForIthinkIforgeteverythingnow!’saidthepoorsquire,puttinghishanduptohishead。’Forthelifeofme,Ican’trememberwhetherwe’vehaddinnerornot;theselongnights,andallthissorrowandwatching,quitebewilderme。’’Perhaps,sir,youwilltakesomedinnerwithMrOsborne。MrsMorganissendinguphisdirectly。Youhardlysatedownatdinner—time,sir,youthoughtmymistresswantedsomething。’’Ay!Iremembernow。No!Iwon’thaveanymore。GiveMrOsbornewhatwinehechooses。Perhapshecaneatanddrink。’Sothesquirewentawayupstairswithbitternessaswellassorrowinhisheart。Whenlightswerebrought,MollywasstruckwiththechangeinOsborne。
Helookedhaggardandworn;perhapswithtravellingandanxiety。Notquitesuchadaintygentlemaneither,asMollyhadthoughthim,whenshehadlastseenhimcallingonherstepmother,twomonthsbefore。Butshelikedhimbetternow。Thetoneofhisremarkspleasedhermore。Hewassimpler,andlessashamedofshowinghisfeelings。HeaskedafterRogerinawarm,longingkindofway。Rogerwasout:hehadriddentoAshcombetotransactsomebusinessforthesquire。Osborneevidentlywishedforhisreturn;
andhungaboutrestlesslyinthedrawing—roomafterhehaddined。’YouaresureImaynotseeherto—night?’heaskedMolly,forthethirdorfourthtime。’No,indeed。Iwillgoupagainifyoulikeit。ButMrsJones,thenurseDrNichollssent,isaverydecidedperson。Iwentupwhileyouwereatdinner,andMrsHamleyhadjusttakenherdrops,andwasonnoaccounttobedisturbedbyseeinganyone,muchlessbyanyexcitement。’Osbornekeptwalkingupanddownthelongdrawing—room,halftalkingtohimself,halftoMolly。’IwishRogerwouldcome。Heseemstobetheonlyonetogivemeawelcome。
Doesmyfatheralwaysliveupstairsinmymother’srooms,MissGibson?’’Hehasdonesinceherlastattack。Ibelievehereproacheshimselffornothavingbeenenoughalarmedbefore。’’Youheardallthewordshesaidtome:theywerenotmuchofawelcome,werethey?Andmydearmother,whoalways—whetherIwastoblameornot——IsupposeRogerissuretocomehometo—night?’’Quitesure。’’Youarestayinghere,areyounot?Doyouoftenseemymother,ordoesthisomnipotentnursekeepyououttoo?,’MrsHamleyhasn’taskedformeforthreedaysnow,andIdon’tgointoherroomunlesssheasks。I’mleavingonFriday,Ibelieve。’’Mymotherwasveryfondofyou,Iknow。’Afterawhilehesaid,inavoicethathadagreatdealofsensitivepaininitstone,—’Isuppose—doyouknowwhethersheisquiteconscious—quiteherself?’’Notalwaysconscious,’saidMolly,tenderly。’Shehastotakesomanyopiates。Butsheneverwanders,onlyforgets,andsleeps。’’Oh,mother,mother!’saidhe,stoppingsuddenly,andhangingoverthefire,hishandsonthechimney—piece。WhenRogercamehome,Mollythoughtittimetoretire。Poorgirl!itwasgettingtobetimeforhertoleavethissceneofdistressinwhichshecouldbeofnouse。ShesobbedherselftosleepthisTuesdaynight。Twodaysmore,anditwouldbeFriday;andshewouldhavetowrenchuptherootsshehadshotdownintothisground。Theweatherwasbrightthenextmorning;andmorningandsunnyweathercheerupyounghearts。Mollysateinthedining—roommakingteaforthegentlemenastheycamedown。ShecouldnothelphopingthatthesquireandOsbornemightcometoabetterunderstandingbeforesheleft;forafterall,inthediscussionbetweenfatherandson,layabittererstingthanintheillnesssentbyGod。Butthoughtheymetatthebreakfast—table,theypurposelyavoidedaddressingeachother。Perhapsthenaturalsubjectofconversationbetweenthetwo,atsuchatime,wouldhavebeenOsborne’slongjourneythenightbefore;
buthehadneverspokenoftheplacehehadcomefrom,whethernorth,south,east,orwest,andthesquiredidnotchoosetoalludetoanythingthatmightbringoutwhathissonwishedtoconceal。Again,therewasanunexpressedideainboththeirmindsthatMrsHamley’spresentillnesswasmuchaggravated,ifnotentirelybroughton,bythediscoveryofOsborne’sdebts;so,manyinquiriesandanswersonthatheadweretabooed。Infact,theirattemptsateasyconversationwerelimitedtolocalsubjects,andprincipallyaddressedtoMollyorRoger。Suchintercoursewasnotproductiveofpleasure,orevenoffriendlyfeeling,thoughtherewasathinoutwardsurfaceofpolitenessandpeace。Longbeforethedaywasover,Mollywishedthatshehadaccededtoherfather’sproposal,andgonehomewithhim。Nooneseemedtowanther。MrsJones,thenurse,assuredhertimeaftertimethatMrsHamleyhadnevernamedhername;andhersmallservicesinthesickroomwerenotrequiredsincetherewasaregularnurse。OsborneandRogerseemedallinalltoeachother;andMollynowfelthowmuchtheshortconversationsshehadhadwithRogerhadservedtogivehersomethingtothinkabout,allduringtheremainderofhersolitarydays。Osbornewasextremelypolite,andevenexpressedhisgratitudetoherforherattentionstohismotherinaverypleasantmanner;butheappearedtobeunwillingtoshowheranyofthedeeperfeelingsofhisheart,andalmostashamedofhisexhibitionofemotionthenightbefore。Hespoketoherasanyagreeableyoungmanspeakstoanypleasantyounglady;butMollyalmostresentedthis。Itwasonlythesquirewhoseemedtomakeherofanyaccount。Hegaveherletterstowrite,smallbillstoreckonup;andshecouldhavekissedhishandsforthankfulness。ThelastafternoonofherstayattheHallcame。Rogerhadgoneoutonthesquire’sbusiness。Mollywentintothegarden,thinkingoverthelastsummer,whenMrsHamley’ssofausedtobeplacedundertheoldcedar—treeonthelawn,andwhenthewarmairseemedtobescentedwithrosesandsweetbrier。Now,thetreeswereleafless,—therewasnosweetodourinthekeenfrostyair;andlookingupatthehouse,therewerethewhitesheetsofblinds,shuttingoutthepalewinterskyfromtheinvalid’sroom。
Thenshethoughtofthedayherfatherhadbroughtherthenewsofhissecondmarriage:thethicketwastangledwithdeadweedsandrimeandhoarfrost;
andthebeautifulfinearticulationofbranchesandboughsanddelicatetwigswereallintertwinedinleaflessdistinctnessagainstthesky。Couldsheeverbesopassionatelyunhappyagain?Wasitgoodness,orwasitnumbness,thatmadeherfeelasthoughlifewastooshorttobetroubledmuchaboutanything?deathseemedtheonlyreality。Shehadneitherenergynorhearttowalkfarorbriskly;andturnedbacktowardsthehouse。Theafternoonsunwasshiningbrightlyonthewindows;and,stirreduptounusualactivitybysomeunknowncause,thehousemaidshadopenedtheshuttersandwindowsofthegenerallyunusedlibrary。Themiddlewindowwasalsoadoor;thewhite—paintedwoodwenthalf—wayup。Mollyturnedalongthelittleflag—pavedpaththatledpastthelibrarywindowstothegateinthewhiterailingsatthefrontofthehouse,andwentinattheopeneddoors。Shehadhadleavegiventochooseoutanybooksshewishedtoread,andtotakethemhomewithher;anditwasjustthesortofhalf—dawdlingemploymentsuitedtohertastethisafternoon。Shemountedontheladdertogettoaparticularshelfhighupindarkcorneroftheroom;andfindingtheresomevolumethatlookedinteresting,shesatedownonthesteptoreadpartofit。
Thereshesate,inherbonnetandcloak,whenOsbornesuddenlycamein。
Hedidnotseeheratfirst;indeed,heseemedinsuchahurrythatheprobablymightnothavenoticedheratall,ifshehadnotspoken。’AmIinyourway?Ionlycamehereforaminutetolookforsomebooks。’
Shecamedownthestepsasshespoke,stillholdingthebookinherhand。’Notatall。ItisIwhoamdisturbingyou。Imustjustwritealetterforthepost,andthenIshallbegone。Isnotthisopendoortoocoldforyou?’’Oh,no。Itissofreshandpleasant。’Shebegantoreadagain,sittingontheloweststepoftheladder;hetowriteatthelargeold—fashionedwriting—tableclosetothewindow。Therewasaminuteortwoofprofoundsilence,inwhichtherapidscratchingofOsborne’spenuponthepaperwastheonlysound。Thencameaclickofthegate,andRogerstoodattheopendoor。HisfacewastowardsOsborne,sittinginthelight;hisbacktoMolly,crouchedupinhercorner。Heheldoutaletter,andsaidinhoarsebreathlessness,—’Here’saletterfromyourwife,Osborne。Iwentpastthepost—officeandthought——’Osbornestoodup,angrydismayuponhisface。’Roger!whathaveyoudone!Don’tyouseeher?’Rogerlookedround,andMollystoodupinhercorner,red,trembling,miserable,asthoughshewereaguiltyperson。Rogerenteredtheroom。Allthreeseemedtobeequallydismayed。Mollywasthefirsttospeak;shecameforwardsandsaid,—’Iamsosorry!Youdidn’twishmetohearit,butIcouldn’thelpit。