thatothersecondhasinformedM。Noir。"
"H'm!Imighthaveknownit。ItisjustlikethatFourtou，whoalwayswantstomakeadisplay。"
AthalfpastnineinthemorningtheprocessionapproachedthefieldofPlessis-Piquetinthefollowingorder:firstcameourcarriage——nobodyinitbutM。Gambettaandmyself；
thenacarriagecontainingM。Fourtouandhissecond；
thenacarriagecontainingtwopoet-oratorswhodidnotbelieveinGod，andthesehadMS。funeralorationsprojectingfromtheirbreastpockets；thenacarriagecontainingtheheadsurgeonsandtheircasesofinstruments；
theneightprivatecarriagescontainingconsultingsurgeons；
thenahackcontainingacoroner；thenthetwohearses；
thenacarriagecontainingtheheadundertakers；
thenatrainofassistantsandmutesonfoot；andafterthesecameploddingthroughthefogalongprocessionofcampfollowers，police，andcitizensgenerally。
Itwasanobleturnout，andwouldhavemadeafinedisplayifwehadhadthinnerweather。
Therewasnoconversation。Ispokeseveraltimestomyprincipal，butIjudgehewasnotawareofit，forhealwaysreferredtohisnote-bookandmutteredabsently，"IdiethatFrancemightlive。"
"Arrivedonthefield，myfellow-secondandIpacedoffthethirty-fiveyards，andthendrewlotsforchoiceofposition。Thislatterwasbutanornamentalceremony，forallthechoiceswerealikeinsuchweather。
Thesepreliminariesbeingended，Iwenttomyprincipalandaskedhimifhewasready。Hespreadhimselfouttohisfullwidth，andsaidinasternvoice，"Ready!Letthebatteriesbecharged。"
Theloadingprocesswasdoneinthepresenceofdulyconstitutedwitnesses。Weconsidereditbesttoperformthisdelicateservicewiththeassistanceofalantern，onaccountofthestateoftheweather。Wenowplacedourmen。
Atthispointthepolicenoticedthatthepublichadmassedthemselvestogetherontherightandleftofthefield；
theythereforebeggedadelay，whiletheyshouldputthesepoorpeopleinaplaceofsafety。
Therequestwasgranted。
Thepolicehavingorderedthetwomultitudestotakepositionsbehindtheduelists，wewereoncemoreready。
Theweathergrowingstillmoreopaque，itwasagreedbetweenmyselfandtheothersecondthatbeforegivingthefatalsignalweshouldeachdeliveraloudwhooptoenablethecombatantstoascertaineachother'swhereabouts。
Inowreturnedtomyprincipal，andwasdistressedtoobservethathehadlostagooddealofhisspirit。
Itriedmybesttoheartenhim。Isaid，"Indeed，sir，thingsarenotasbadastheyseem。Consideringthecharacteroftheweapons，thelimitednumberofshotsallowed，thegenerousdistance，theimpenetrablesolidityofthefog，andtheaddedfactthatoneofthecombatantsisone-eyedandtheothercross-eyedandnear-sighted，itseemstomethatthisconflictneednotnecessarilybefatal。Therearechancesthatbothofyoumaysurvive。Therefore，cheerup；
donotbedownhearted。"
Thisspeechhadsogoodaneffectthatmyprincipalimmediatelystretchedforthhishandandsaid，"Iammyselfagain；givemetheweapon。"
Ilaidit，alllonelyandforlorn，inthecenterofthevastsolitudeofhispalm。Hegazedatitandshuddered。
Andstillmournfullycontemplatingit，hemurmuredinabrokenvoice:
"Alas，itisnotdeathIdread，butmutilation。"
Iheartenedhimoncemore，andwithsuchsuccessthathepresentlysaid，"Letthetragedybegin。Standatmyback；
donotdesertmeinthissolemnhour，myfriend。"
Igavehimmypromise。InowassistedhimtopointhispistoltowardthespotwhereIjudgedhisadversarytobestanding，andcautionedhimtolistenwellandfurtherguidehimselfbymyfellow-second'swhoop。
ThenIproppedmyselfagainstM。Gambetta'sback，andraisedarousing"Whoop-ee!"Thiswasansweredfromoutthefardistancesofthefog，andIimmediatelyshouted:
"One——two——three——FIRE!"
TwolittlesoundslikeSPIT!SPIT!brokeuponmyear，andinthesameinstantIwascrushedtotheearthunderamountainofflesh。BruisedasIwas，Iwasstillabletocatchafaintaccentfromabove，tothiseffect:
"Idiefor……for……perditiontakeit，whatISitIdiefor?……oh，yes——FRANCE!IdiethatFrancemaylive!"
Thesurgeonsswarmedaroundwiththeirprobesintheirhands，andappliedtheirmicroscopestothewholeareaofM。Gambetta'sperson，withthehappyresultoffindingnothinginthenatureofawound。Thenasceneensuedwhichwasineverywaygratifyingandinspiriting。
Thetwogladiatorsfelluponeachother'sneck，withfloodsofproudandhappytears；thatothersecondembracedme；
thesurgeons，theorators，theundertakers，thepolice，everybodyembraced，everybodycongratulated，everybodycried，andthewholeatmospherewasfilledwithpraiseandwithjoyunspeakable。
ItseemstomethenthatIwouldratherbeaheroofaFrenchduelthanacrownedandscepteredmonarch。
Whenthecommotionhadsomewhatsubsided，thebodyofsurgeonsheldaconsultation，andafteragooddealofdebatedecidedthatwithpropercareandnursingtherewasreasontobelievethatIwouldsurvivemyinjuries。
Myinternalhurtsweredeemedthemostserious，sinceitwasapparentthatabrokenribhadpenetratedmyleftlung，andthatmanyofmyorganshadbeenpressedoutsofartoonesideortheotherofwheretheybelonged，thatitwasdoubtfuliftheywouldeverlearntoperformtheirfunctionsinsuchremoteandunaccustomedlocalities。
Theythensetmyleftarmintwoplaces，pulledmyrighthipintoitssocketagain，andre-elevatedmynose。
Iwasanobjectofgreatinterest，andevenadmiration；
andmanysincereandwarm-heartedpersonshadthemselvesintroducedtome，andsaidtheywereproudtoknowtheonlymanwhohadbeenhurtinaFrenchduelinfortyyears。
Iwasplacedinanambulanceattheveryheadoftheprocession；
andthuswithgratifying'ECLATIwasmarchedintoParis，themostconspicuousfigureinthatgreatspectacle，anddepositedatthehospital。
ThecrossoftheLegionofHonorhasbeenconferreduponme。However，fewescapethatdistinction。
Suchisthetrueversionofthemostmemorableprivateconflictoftheage。
Ihavenocomplaintstomakeagainstanyone。Iactedformyself，andIcanstandtheconsequences。
Withoutboasting，IthinkImaysayIamnotafraidtostandbeforeamodernFrenchduelist，butaslongasIkeepinmyrightmindIwillneverconsenttostandbehindoneagain。
CHAPTERIX
[WhattheBeautifulMaidenSaid]
OnedaywetookthetrainandwentdowntoMannheimtosee"KingLear"playedinGerman。Itwasamistake。
Wesatinourseatsthreewholehoursandneverunderstoodanythingbutthethunderandlightning；andeventhatwasreversedtosuitGermanideas，forthethundercamefirstandthelightningfollowedafter。
Thebehavioroftheaudiencewasperfect。Therewerenorustlings，orwhisperings，orotherlittledisturbances；
eachactwaslistenedtoinsilence，andtheapplaudingwasdoneafterthecurtainwasdown。Thedoorsopenedathalfpastfour，theplaybeganpromptlyathalfpastfive，andwithintwominutesafterwardallwhowerecomingwereintheirseats，andquietreigned。AGermangentlemaninthetrainhadsaidthataShakespearianplaywasanappreciatedtreatinGermanyandthatweshouldfindthehousefilled。Itwastrue；allthesixtierswerefilled，andremainedsototheend——whichsuggestedthatitisnotonlybalconypeoplewholikeShakespeareinGermany，butthoseofthepitandgallery，too。
Anothertime，wewenttoMannheimandattendedashivaree——
otherwiseanopera——theonecalled"Lohengrin。"Thebangingandslammingandboomingandcrashingweresomethingbeyondbelief。TherackingandpitilesspainofitremainsstoredupinmymemoryalongsidethememoryofthetimethatIhadmyteethfixed。
Therewerecircumstanceswhichmadeitnecessaryformetostaythroughthehourhourstotheend，andIstayed；
buttherecollectionofthatlong，dragging，relentlessseasonofsufferingisindestructible。Tohavetoendureitinsilence，andsittingstill，madeitalltheharder。
Iwasinarailedcompartmentwitheightortenstrangers，ofthetwosexes，andthiscompelledrepression；
yetattimesthepainwassoexquisitethatIcouldhardlykeepthetearsback。Atthosetimes，asthehowlingsandwailingsandshriekingofthesingers，andtheragingsandroaringsandexplosionsofthevastorchestrarosehigherandhigher，andwilderandwilder，andfiercerandfiercer，IcouldhavecriedifIhadbeenalone。
Thosestrangerswouldnothavebeensurprisedtoseeamandosuchathingwhowasbeinggraduallyskinned，buttheywouldhavemarveledatithere，andmaderemarksaboutitnodoubt，whereastherewasnothinginthepresentcasewhichwasanadvantageoverbeingskinned。
Therewasawaitofhalfanhourattheendofthefirstact，andIcouldnottrustmyselftodoit，forIfeltthatI
shoulddeserttostayout。Therewasanotherwaitofhalfanhourtowardnineo'clock，butIhadgonethroughsomuchbythattimethatIhadnospiritleft，andsohadnodesirebuttobeletalone。
Idonotwishtosuggestthattherestofthepeopletherewerelikeme，for，indeed，theywerenot。Whetheritwasthattheynaturallylikedthatnoise，orwhetheritwasthattheyhadlearnedtolikeitbygettingusedtoit，Ididnotatthetimeknow；buttheydidlike——thiswasplainenough。Whileitwasgoingontheysatandlookedasraptandgratefulascatsdowhenonestrokestheirbacks；
andwheneverthecurtainfelltheyrosetotheirfeet，inonesolidmightymultitude，andtheairwassnowedthickwithwavinghandkerchiefs，andhurricanesofapplauseswepttheplace。Thiswasnotcomprehensibletome。
Ofcourse，thereweremanypeopletherewhowerenotundercompulsiontostay；yetthetierswereasfullatthecloseastheyhadbeenatthebeginning。Thisshowedthatthepeoplelikedit。
Itwasacurioussortofaplay。Inthemannerofcostumesandsceneryitwasfineandshowyenough；
buttherewasnotmuchaction。Thatistosay，therewasnotmuchreallydone，itwasonlytalkedabout；
andalwaysviolently。Itwaswhatonemightcallanarrativeplay。Everybodyhadanarrativeandagrievance，andnonewerereasonableaboutit，butallinanoffensiveandungovernablestate。Therewaslittleofthatsortofcustomarythingwherethetenorandthesopranostanddownbythefootlights，warbling，withblendedvoices，andkeepholdingouttheirarmstowardeachotheranddrawingthembackandspreadingbothhandsoverfirstonebreastandthentheotherwithashakeandapressure——no，itwaseveryrioterforhimselfandnoblending。
Eachsanghisindictivenarrativeinturn，accompaniedbythewholeorchestraofsixtyinstruments，andwhenthishadcontinuedforsometime，andonewashopingtheymightcometoanunderstandingandmodifythenoise，agreatchoruscomposedentirelyofmaniacswouldsuddenlybreakforth，andthenduringtwominutes，andsometimesthree，IlivedoveragainallthatIsufferedthetimetheorphanasylumburneddown。
Weonlyhadonebrieflittleseasonofheavenandheaven'ssweetecstasyandpeaceduringallthislonganddiligentandacrimoniousreproductionoftheotherplace。
Thiswaswhileagorgeousprocessionofpeoplemarchedaroundandaround，inthethirdact，andsangtheWeddingChorus。
Tomyuntutoredearthatwasmusic——almostdivinemusic。
Whilemysearedsoulwassteepedinthehealingbalmofthosegracioussounds，itseemedtomethatIcouldalmostresufferthetormentswhichhadgonebefore，inordertobesohealedagain。Thereiswherethedeepingenuityoftheoperaticideaisbetrayed。Itdealssolargelyinpainthatitsscattereddelightsareprodigiouslyaugmentedbythecontrasts。Aprettyairinanoperaisprettiertherethanitcouldbeanywhereelse，Isuppose，justasanhonestmaninpoliticsshinesmorethanhewouldelsewhere。
IhavesincefoundoutthatthereisnothingtheGermanslikesomuchasanopera。Theylikeit，notinamildandmoderateway，butwiththeirwholehearts。
Thisisalegitimateresultofhabitandeducation。
Ournationwillliketheopera，too，byandby，nodoubt。
Oneinfiftyofthosewhoattendouroperaslikesitalready，perhaps，butIthinkagoodmanyoftheotherforty-ninegoinordertolearntolikeit，andtherestinordertobeabletotalkknowinglyaboutit。
Thelatterusuallyhumtheairswhiletheyarebeingsung，sothattheirneighborsmayperceivethattheyhavebeentooperasbefore。Thefuneralsofthesedonotoccuroftenenough。
Agentle，old-maidishpersonandasweetyounggirlofseventeensatrightinfrontofusthatnightattheMannheimopera。Thesepeopletalked，betweentheacts，andIunderstoodthem，thoughIunderstoodnothingthatwasutteredonthedistantstage。Atfirsttheywereguardedintheirtalk，butaftertheyhadheardmyagentandmeconversinginEnglishtheydroppedtheirreserveandIpickedupmanyoftheirlittleconfidences；
no，ImeanmanyofHERlittleconfidences——meaningtheelderparty——fortheyounggirlonlylistened，andgaveassentingnods，butneversaidaword。Howprettyshewas，andhowsweetshewas!Iwishedshewouldspeak。
Butevidentlyshewasabsorbedinherownthoughts，herownyoung-girldreams，andfoundadearerpleasureinsilence。Butshewasnotdreamingsleepydreams——no，shewasawake，alive，alert，shecouldnotsitstillamoment。Shewasanenchantingstudy。Hergownwasofasoftwhitesilkystuffthatclungtoherroundyoungfigurelikeafish'sskin，anditwasrippledoverwiththegracefulestlittlefringyfilmsoflace；
shehaddeep，tendereyes，withlong，curvedlashes；
andshehadpeachycheeks，andadimpledchin，andsuchadearlittlerosebudofamouth；andshewassodovelike，sopure，andsogracious，sosweetandsobewitching。
ForlonghoursIdidmightilywishshewouldspeak。
Andatlastshedid；theredlipsparted，andoutleapsherthought——andwithsuchaguilelessandprettyenthusiasm，too:"Auntie，IjustKNOWI'vegotfivehundredfleasonme!"
Thatwasprobablyovertheaverage。Yes，itmusthavebeenverymuchovertheaverage。TheaverageatthattimeintheGrandDuchyofBadenwasforty-fivetoayoungpersonwhenalone，accordingtotheofficialestimateofthehomesecretaryforthatyear；theaverageforolderpeoplewasshiftyandindeterminable，forwheneverawholesomeyounggirlcameintothepresenceofherelderssheimmediatelyloweredtheiraverageandraisedherown。
Shebecameasortofcontribution-box。Thisdearyoungthinginthetheaterhadbeensittingthereunconsciouslytakingupacollection。Manyaskinnyoldbeinginourneighborhoodwasthehappierandtherestfulerforhercoming。
Inthatlargeaudience，thatnight，therewereeightveryconspicuouspeople。Thesewereladieswhohadtheirhatsorbonnetson。Whatablessedthingitwouldbeifaladycouldmakeherselfconspicuousinourtheatersbywearingherhat。ItisnotusualinEuropetoallowladiesandgentlementotakebonnets，hats，overcoats，canes，orumbrellasintotheauditorium，butinMannheimthisrulewasnotenforcedbecausetheaudienceswerelargelymadeupofpeoplefromadistance，andamongthesewerealwaysafewtimidladieswhowereafraidthatiftheyhadtogointoananteroomtogettheirthingswhentheplaywasover，theywouldmisstheirtrain。Butthegreatmassofthosewhocamefromadistancealwaysrantheriskandtookthechances，preferringthelossofatraintoabreachofgoodmannersandthediscomfortofbeingunpleasantlyconspicuousduringastretchofthreeorfourhours。
[HowWagnerOperasBangAlong]
Threeorfourhours。Thatisalongtimetositinoneplace，whetheronebeconspicuousornot，yetsomeofWagner'soperasbangalongforsixwholehoursonastretch!
Butthepeoplesitthereandenjoyitall，andwishitwouldlastlonger。AGermanladyinMunichtoldmethatapersoncouldnotlikeWagner'smusicatfirst，butmustgothroughthedeliberateprocessoflearningtolikeit——thenhewouldhavehissurereward；
forwhenhehadlearnedtolikeithewouldhungerforitandneverbeabletogetenoughofit。ShesaidthatsixhoursofWagnerwasbynomeanstoomuch。
Shesaidthatthiscomposerhadmadeacompleterevolutioninmusicandwasburyingtheoldmastersonebyone。
AndshesaidthatWagner'soperasdifferedfromallothersinonenotablerespect，andthatwasthattheywerenotmerelyspottedwithmusichereandthere，butwereALLmusic，fromthefirststraintothelast。Thissurprisedme。
IsaidIhadattendedoneofhisinsurrections，andfoundhardlyANYmusicinitexcepttheWeddingChorus。
Shesaid"Lohengrin"wasnoisierthanWagner'sotheroperas，butthatifIwouldkeepongoingtoseeitIwouldfindbyandbythatitwasallmusic，andthereforewouldthenenjoyit。ICOULDhavesaid，"Butwouldyouadviseapersontodeliberatelypracticehavingatoothacheinthepitofhisstomachforacoupleofyearsinorderthathemightthencometoenjoyit?"ButIreservedthatremark。
Thisladywasfullofthepraisesofthehead-tenorwhohadperformedinaWagneroperathenightbefore，andwentontoenlargeuponhisoldandprodigiousfame，andhowmanyhonorshadbeenlavisheduponhimbytheprincelyhousesofGermany。Herewasanothersurprise。
Ihadattendedthatveryopera，inthepersonofmyagent，andhadmadecloseandaccurateobservations。SoI
said:
"Why，madam，MYexperiencewarrantsmeinstatingthatthattenor'svoiceisnotavoiceatall，butonlyashriek——theshriekofahyena。"
"Thatisverytrue，"shesaid；"hecannotsingnow；
itisalreadymanyyearsthathehaslosthisvoice，butinothertimeshesang，yes，divinely!Sowheneverhecomesnow，youshallsee，yes，thatthetheaterwillnotholdthepeople。JAWOHLBEIGOTT!hisvoiceisWUNDERSCHO"Ninthatpasttime。"
IsaidshewasdiscoveringtomeakindlytraitintheGermanswhichwasworthemulating。Isaidthatoverthewaterwewerenotquitesogenerous；thatwithus，whenasingerhadlosthisvoiceandajumperhadlosthislegs，thesepartiesceasedtodraw。IsaidIhadbeentotheoperainHanover，once，andinMannheimonce，andinMunichthroughmyauthorizedagentonce，andthislargeexperiencehadnearlypersuadedmethattheGermansPREFERREDsingerswhocouldn'tsing。Thiswasnotsuchaveryextravagantspeech，either，forthatburlyMannheimtenor'spraiseshadbeenthetalkofallHeidelbergforaweekbeforehisperformancetookplace——yethisvoicewaslikethedistressingnoisewhichanailmakeswhenyouscreechitacrossawindow-pane。IsaidsotoHeidelbergfriendsthenextday，andtheysaid，inthecalmestandsimplestway，thatthatwasverytrue，butthatinearliertimeshisvoiceHADbeenwonderfullyfine。AndthetenorinHanoverwasjustanotherexampleofthissort。
TheEnglish-speakingGermangentlemanwhowentwithmetotheoperatherewasbrimmingwithenthusiasmoverthattenor。
Hesaid:
"ACHGOTT!agreatman!Youshallseehim。HeissocelebrateinallGermany——andhehasapension，yes，fromthegovernment。
Henotobligedtosingnow，onlytwiceeveryyear；
butifhenotsingtwiceeachyeartheytakehimhispensionaway。"
Verywell，wewent。Whentherenownedoldtenorappeared，Igotanudgeandanexcitedwhisper:
"Nowyouseehim!"
Butthe"celebrate"wasanastonishingdisappointmenttome。
IfhehadbeenbehindascreenIshouldhavesupposedtheywereperformingasurgicaloperationonhim。
Ilookedatmyfriend——tomygreatsurpriseheseemedintoxicatedwithpleasure，hiseyesweredancingwitheagerdelight。Whenthecurtainatlastfell，heburstintothestormiestapplause，andkeptitup——asdidthewholehouse——untiltheafflictivetenorhadcomethreetimesbeforethecurtaintomakehisbow。
Whiletheglowingenthusiastwasswabbingtheperspirationfromhisface，Isaid:
"Idon'tmeantheleastharm，butreally，now，doyouthinkhecansing?"
"Him?NO!GOTTIMHIMMEL，ABER，howhehasbeenabletosingtwenty-fiveyearsago?"[Thenpensively。]"ACH，no，NOWhenotsinganymore，heonlycry。Whenhethinkhesing，now，henotsingatall，no，heonlymakelikeacatwhichisunwell。"
WhereandhowdidwegettheideathattheGermansareastolid，phlegmaticrace?Intruth，theyarewidelyremovedfromthat。Theyarewarm-hearted，emotional，impulsive，enthusiastic，theirtearscomeatthemildesttouch，anditisnothardtomovethemtolaughter。Theyaretheverychildrenofimpulse。
Wearecoldandself-contained，comparedtotheGermans。
Theyhugandkissandcryandshoutanddanceandsing；
andwhereweuseoneloving，pettingexpressionstheypouroutascore。Theirlanguageisfullofendearingdiminutives；
nothingthattheyloveescapestheapplicationofapettingdiminutive——neitherthehouse，northedog，northehorse，northegrandmother，noranyothercreature，animateorinanimate。
InthetheatersatHanover，Hamburg，andMannheim，theyhadawisecustom。Themomentthecurtainwentup，thelightinthebodyofthehousewentdown。
Theaudiencesatinthecoolgloomofadeeptwilight，whichgreatlyenhancedtheglowingsplendorsofthestage。
Itsavedgas，too，andpeoplewerenotsweatedtodeath。
WhenIsaw"KingLear"played，nobodywasallowedtoseeasceneshifted；iftherewasnothingtobedonebutslideaforestoutofthewayandexposeatemplebeyond，onedidnotseethatforestsplititselfinthemiddleandgoshriekingaway，withtheaccompanyingdisenchantingspectacleofthehandsandheelsoftheimpellingimpulse——no，thecurtainwasalwaysdroppedforaninstant——oneheardnottheleastmovementbehindit——butwhenitwentup，thenextinstant，theforestwasgone。Evenwhenthestagewasbeingentirelyreset，oneheardnonoise。
Duringthewholetimethat"KingLear"wasplayingthecurtainwasneverdowntwominutesatanyonetime。
Theorchestraplayeduntilthecurtainwasreadytogoupforthefirsttime，thentheydepartedfortheevening。
Wherethestagewaitsnevereachtwominutesthereisnooccasionformusic。Ihadneverseenthistwo-minutebusinessbetweenactsbutoncebefore，andthatwaswhenthe"Shaughraun"wasplayedatWallack's。
IwasataconcertinMunichonenight，thepeoplewerestreamingin，theclock-handpointedtoseven，themusicstruckup，andinstantlyallmovementinthebodyofthehouseceased——nobodywasstanding，orwalkinguptheaisles，orfumblingwithaseat，thestreamofincomershadsuddenlydriedupatitssource。
Ilistenedundisturbedtoapieceofmusicthatwasfifteenminuteslong——alwaysexpectingsometardyticket-holderstocomecrowdingpastmyknees，andbeingcontinuouslyandpleasantlydisappointed——butwhenthelastnotewasstruck，herecamethestreamagain。Yousee，theyhadmadethoselatecomerswaitinthecomfortablewaiting-parlorfromthetimethemusichadbeginuntilitwasended。
ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverseenthissortofcriminalsdeniedtheprivilegeofdestroyingthecomfortofahousefulloftheirbetters。Someofthesewereprettyfinebirds，butnomatter，theyhadtotarryoutsideinthelongparlorundertheinspectionofadoublerankofliveriedfootmenandwaiting-maidswhosupportedthetwowallswiththeirbacksandheldthewrapsandtrapsoftheirmastersandmistressesontheirarms。
Wehadnofootmentoholdourthings，anditwasnotpermissibletotakethemintotheconcert-room；butthereweresomemenandwomentotakechargeofthemforus。
Theygaveuschecksforthemandchargedafixedprice，payableinadvance——fivecents。
InGermanytheyalwayshearonethingatanoperawhichhasneveryetbeenheardinAmerica，perhaps——I
meantheclosingstrainofafinesoloorduet。
Wealwayssmashintoitwithanearthquakeofapplause。
Theresultisthatwerobourselvesofthesweetestpartofthetreat；wegetthewhiskey，butwedon'tgetthesugarinthebottomoftheglass。
OurwayofscatteringapplausealongthroughanactseemstometobebetterthantheMannheimwayofsavingitalluptilltheactisended。Idonotseehowanactorcanforgethimselfandportrayhotpassionbeforeacoldstillaudience。Ishouldthinkhewouldfeelfoolish。
Itisapaintometothisday，torememberhowthatoldGermanLearragedandweptandhowledaroundthestage，withneveraresponsefromthathushedhouse，neverasingleoutbursttilltheactwasended。Tometherewassomethingunspeakablyuncomfortableinthesolemndeadsilencesthatalwaysfollowedthisoldperson'stremendousoutpouringsofhisfeelings。Icouldnothelpputtingmyselfinhisplace——IthoughtIknewhowsickandflathefeltduringthosesilences，becauseIrememberedacasewhichcameundermyobservationonce，andwhich——butI
willtelltheincident:
OneeveningonboardaMississippisteamboat，aboyoftenyearslayasleepinaberth——along，slim-leggedboy，hewas，encasedinquiteashortshirt；itwasthefirsttimehehadevermadeatriponasteamboat，andsohewastroubled，andscared，andhadgonetobedwithhisheadfilledwithimpendingsnaggings，andexplosions，andconflagrations，andsuddendeath。Aboutteno'clocksometwentyladiesweresittingaroundabouttheladies'
saloon，quietlyreading，sewing，embroidering，andsoon，andamongthemsatasweet，benignantolddamewithroundspectaclesonhernoseandherbusyknitting-needlesinherhands。Nowallofasudden，intothemidstofthispeacefulsceneburstthatslim-shankedboyinthebriefshirt，wild-eyed，erect-haired，andshouting，"Fire，fire!
JUMPANDRUN，THEBOAT'SAFIREANDTHEREAIN'TAMINUTE
TOLOSE!"Allthoseladieslookedsweetlyupandsmiled，nobodystirred，theoldladypulledherspectaclesdown，lookedoverthem，andsaid，gently:
"Butyoumustn'tcatchcold，child。Runandputonyourbreastpin，andthencomeandtellusallaboutit。"
Itwasacruelchilltogivetoapoorlittledevil'sgushingvehemence。Hewasexpectingtobeasortofhero——thecreatorofawildpanic——andhereeverybodysatandsmiledamockingsmile，andanoldwomanmadefunofhisbugbear。Iturnedandcreptaway——forI
wasthatboy——andneverevencaredtodiscoverwhetherIhaddreamedthefireoractuallyseenit。
IamtoldthatinaGermanconcertoropera，theyhardlyeverencoreasong；thatthoughtheymaybedyingtohearitagain，theirgoodbreedingusuallypreservesthemagainstrequiringtherepetition。
Kingsmayencore；thatisquiteanothermatter；
itdelightseverybodytoseethattheKingispleased；
andastotheactorencored，hisprideandgratificationaresimplyboundless。Still，therearecircumstancesinwhichevenaroyalencore——
Butitisbettertoillustrate。TheKingofBavariaisapoet，andhasapoet'seccentricities——withtheadvantageoverallotherpoetsofbeingabletogratifythem，nomatterwhatformtheymaytake。Heisfondofopera，butnotfondofsittinginthepresenceofanaudience；
therefore，ithassometimesoccurred，inMunich，thatwhenanoperahasbeenconcludedandtheplayersweregettingofftheirpaintandfinery，acommandhascometothemtogettheirpaintandfineryonagain。
PresentlytheKingwouldarrive，solitaryandalone，andtheplayerswouldbeingatthebeginninganddotheentireoperaoveragainwithonlythatoneindividualinthevastsolemntheaterforaudience。Oncehetookanoddfreakintohishead。Highupandoutofsight，overtheprodigiousstageofthecourttheaterisamazeofinterlacingwater-pipes，sopiercedthatincaseoffire，innumerablelittlethread-likestreamsofwatercanbecausedtodescend；andincaseofneed，thisdischargecanbeaugmentedtoapouringflood。
Americanmanagersmightwanttomakeanoteofthat。
TheKingwassoleaudience。Theoperaproceeded，itwasapiecewithastorminit；themimicthunderbegantomutter，themimicwindbegantowailandsough，andthemimicraintopatter。TheKing'sinterestrosehigherandhigher；itdevelopedintoenthusiasm。Hecriedout:
"Itisvery，verygood，indeed!ButIwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"
Themanagerpleadedforareversalofthecommand；saiditwouldruinthecostlysceneryandthesplendidcostumes，buttheKingcried:
"Nomatter，nomatter，Iwillhaverealrain!Turnonthewater!"
Sotherealrainwasturnedonandbegantodescendingossamerlancestothemimicflower-bedsandgravelwalksofthestage。Therichlydressedactressesandactorstrippedaboutsingingbravelyandpretendingnottomindit。
TheKingwasdelighted——hisenthusiasmgrewhigher。
Hecriedout:
"Bravo，bravo!Morethunder!morelightning!turnonmorerain!"