ESSAY,FORDISCUSSION,READATAMEETINGOFTHEHISTORICAL
  ANDANTIQUARIANCLUBOFHARTFORD,ANDOFFEREDFORTHE
  THIRTY—DOLLARPRIZE。
  Didnottaketheprize。
  Observe,Idonotmeantosuggestthatthe_custom_oflyinghassufferedanydecayorinterruption—no,fortheLie,asaVirtue,APrinciple,iseternal;theLie,asarecreation,asolace,arefugeintimeofneed,thefourthGrace,thetenthMuse,man'sbestandsurestfriend,isimmortal,andcannotperishfromtheearthwhilethisclubremains。Mycomplaintsimplyconcernsthedecayofthe_art_oflying。Nohigh—mindedman,nomanofrightfeeling,cancontemplatethelumberingandslovenlylyingofthepresentdaywithoutgrievingtoseeanobleartsoprostituted。InthisveteranpresenceI
  naturallyenteruponthisthemewithdiffidence;itislikeanoldmaidtryingtoteachnurserymatterstothemothersinIsrael。Itwouldnotbecometometocriticiseyou,gentlemen—whoarenearlyallmyelders—andmysuperiors,inthisthing—ifIshouldhereandthere_seem_todoit,Itrustitwillinmostcasesbemoreinaspiritofadmirationthanfault—finding;indeedifthisfinestofthefineartshadeverywherereceivedtheattention,theencouragement,andconscientiouspracticeanddevelopmentwhichthisclubhasdevotedtoit,Ishouldnotneedtoutterthislament,orshredasingletear。
  Idonotsaythistoflatter:Isayitinaspiritofjustandappreciativerecognition。[Ithadbeenmyintention,atthispoint,tomentionnamesandtogiveillustrativespecimens,butindicationsobservableaboutmeadmonishedmetobewareoftheparticularsandconfinemyselftogeneralities。]
  Nofactismorefirmlyestablishedthanthatlyingisanecessityofourcircumstances—thedeductionthatitisthenaVirtuegoeswithoutsaying。
  Novirtuecanreachitshighestusefulnesswithoutcarefulanddiligentcultivation—therefore,itgoeswithoutsayingthatthisoneoughttobetaughtinthepublicschools—eveninthenewspapers。Whatchancehastheignorantuncultivatedliaragainsttheeducatedexpert?WhatchancehaveI
  againstMr。Per—againstalawyer?_Judicious_lyingiswhattheworldneeds。
  Isometimesthinkitwereevenbetterandsafernottolieatallthantolieinjudiciously。Anawkward,unscientificlieisoftenasineffectualasthetruth。
  Nowletusseewhatthephilosopherssay。Notethatvenerableproverb:
  Childrenandfools_always_speakthetruth。Thedeductionisplain—adultsandwisepersons_never_speakit。Parkman,thehistorian,says,"Theprincipleoftruthmayitselfbecarriedintoanabsurdity。"Inanotherplaceinthesamechaptershesays,"Thesayingisoldthattruthshouldnotbespokenatalltimes;andthosewhomasickconscienceworriesintohabitualviolationofthemaximareimbecilesandnuisances。"Itisstronglanguage,buttrue。Noneofuscould_live_withanhabitualtruth—teller;butthankgoodnessnoneofushasto。Anhabitualtruth—tellerissimplyanimpossiblecreature;hedoesnotexist;heneverhasexisted。Ofcoursetherearepeoplewho_think_theyneverlie,butitisnotso—andthisignoranceisoneoftheverythingsthatshameourso—calledcivilization。Everybodylies—everyday;everyhour;
  awake;asleep;inhisdreams;inhisjoy;inhismourning;ifhekeepshistonguestill,hishands,hisfeet,hiseyes,hisattitude,willconveydeception—andpurposely。Eveninsermons—butthatisaplatitude。
  InafarcountrywhereIoncelivedtheladiesusedtogoaroundpayingcalls,underthehumaneandkindlypretenceofwantingtoseeeachother;
  andwhentheyreturnedhome,theywouldcryoutwithagladvoice,saying,"Wemadesixteencallsandfoundfourteenofthemout"—notmeaningthattheyfoundoutanythingimportantagainstthefourteen—no,thatwasonlyacolloquialphrasetosignifythattheywerenotathome—andtheirmannerofsayingitexpressedtheirlivelysatisfactioninthatfact。Nowtheirpretenceofwantingtoseethefourteen—andtheothertwowhomtheyhadbeenlessluckywith—wasthatcommonestandmildestformoflyingwhichissufficientlydescribedasadeflectionfromthetruth。Isitjustifiable?
  Mostcertainly。Itisbeautiful,itisnoble;foritsobjectis,_not_toreapprofit,buttoconveyapleasuretothesixteen。Theiron—souledtruth—mongerwouldplainlymanifest,orevenutterthefactthathedidn'twanttoseethosepeople—andhewouldbeanass,andinflicttotallyunnecessarypain。
  Andnext,thoseladiesinthatfarcountry—butnevermind,theyhadathousandpleasantwaysoflying,thatgrewoutofgentleimpulses,andwereacredittotheirintelligenceandanhonortotheirhearts。Lettheparticularsgo。