Themeninthatfarcountrywereliars,everyone。Theirmerehowdy—dowasalie,because_they_didn'tcarehowyoudid,excepttheywereundertakers。Totheordinaryinquireryouliedinreturn;foryoumadenoconscientiousdiagnosticofyourcase,butansweredatrandom,andusuallymisseditconsiderably。Youliedtotheundertaker,andsaidyourhealthwasfailing—awhollycommendablelie,sinceitcostyounothingandpleasedtheotherman。
Ifastrangercalledandinterruptedyou,yousaidwithyourheartytongue,"I'mgladtoseeyou,"andsaidwithyourheartiersoul,"Iwishyouwerewiththecannibalsanditwasdinner—time。"Whenhewent,yousaidregretfully,"_Must_yougo?"andfolloweditwitha"Callagain;"butyoudidnoharm,foryoudidnotdeceiveanybodynorinflictanyhurt,whereasthetruthwouldhavemadeyoubothunhappy。
Ithinkthatallthiscourteouslyingisasweetandlovingart,andshouldbecultivated。Thehighestperfectionofpolitenessisonlyabeautifuledifice,built,fromthebasetothedome,ofgracefulandgildedformsofcharitableandunselfishlying。
WhatIbemoanisthegrowingprevalenceofthebrutaltruth。Letusdowhatwecantoeradicateit。Aninjurioustruthhasnomeritoveraninjuriouslie。
Neithershouldeverbeuttered。Themanwhospeaksaninjurioustruthlesthissoulbenotsavedifhedootherwise,shouldreflectthatthatsortofasoulisnotstrictlyworthsaving。Themanwhotellsalietohelpapoordeviloutoftrouble,isoneofwhomtheangelsdoubtlesssay,"Lo,hereisanheroicsoulwhocastshisownwelfareinjeopardytosuccorhisneighbor's;
letusexaltthismagnanimousliar。"
Aninjuriouslieisanuncommendablething;andso,also,andinthesamedegree,isaninjurioustruth—afactthatisrecognizedbythelawoflibel。
Amongothercommonlies,wehavethe_silent_lie—thedeceptionwhichoneconveysbysimplykeepingstillandconcealingthetruth。Manyobstinatetruth—mongersindulgeinthisdissipation,imaginingthatifthey_speak_nolie,theylienotatall。InthatfarcountrywhereIoncelived,therewasalovelyspirit,aladywhoseimpulseswerealwayshighandpure,andwhosecharacteransweredtothem。OnedayIwasthereatdinner,andremarked,inageneralway,thatweareallliars。Shewasamazed,andsaid,"Not_all_?"
Itwasbefore"Pinafore's"time。soIdidnotmaketheresponsewhichwouldnaturallyfollowinourday,butfranklysaid,"Yes,_all_—weareallliars。
Therearenoexceptions。"Shelookedalmostoffended,"Why,doyouinclude_me_?""Certainly,"Isaid。"Ithinkyouevenrankasanexpert。"Shesaid"Sh—'sh!thechildren!"Sothesubjectwaschangedindeferencetothechildren'spresence,andwewentontalkingaboutotherthings。Butassoonastheyoungpeoplewereoutoftheway,theladycamewarmlybacktothematterandsaid,"Ihavemadearuleofmylifetonevertellalie;andI
haveneverdepartedfromitinasingleinstance。"Isaid,"Idon'tmeantheleastharmordisrespect,butreallyyouhavebeenlyinglikesmokeeversinceI'vebeensittinghere。Ithascausedmeagooddealofpain,becauseI'mnotusedtoit。"Sherequiredofmeaninstance—justasingleinstance。
SoIsaid—
"Well,hereistheunfilledduplicateoftheblank,whichtheOaklandhospitalpeoplesenttoyoubythehandofthesick—nursewhenshecameheretonurseyourlittlenephewthroughhisdangerousillness。Thisblankasksallmannersofquestionsastotheconductofthatsick—nurse:'Didsheeversleeponherwatch?Didsheeverforgettogivethemedicine?'andsoforthandsoon。Youarewarnedtobeverycarefulandexplicitinyouranswers,forthewelfareoftheservicerequiresthatthenursesbepromptlyfinedorotherwisepunishedforderelictions。Youtoldmeyouwereperfectlydelightedwiththisnurse—thatshehadathousandperfectionsandonlyonefault:youfoundyounevercoulddependonherwrappingJohnnyuphalfsufficientlywhilehewaitedinachillychairforhertorearrangethewarmbed。
Youfilleduptheduplicateofthispaper,andsentitbacktothehospitalbythehandofthenurse。Howdidyouanswerthisquestion—'Wasthenurseatanytimeguiltyofanegligencewhichwaslikelytoresultinthepatient'stakingcold?'Come—everythingisdecidedbyabethereinCalifornia:tendollarstotencentsyouliedwhenyouansweredthatquestion。"Shesaid,"I