THEWORLDWITHOUT
　　Certainpeopleofimportance。
　　SCENE-Smoking-roomoftheDegchiClub。Time，10。30P。M。ofastuffynightintheRains。Fourmendispersedinpicturesqueattitudesandeasy-chairs。TotheseenterBLAYNEoftheIrregularMoguls，ineveningdress。
　　BLAYNE。Phew！TheJudgeoughttobehangedinhisownstore-godown。Hi，khitmatgarlPoorawhiskey-peg，totakethetasteoutofmymouth。
　　CURTISS。（RoyalArtillery。）That'sit，isit？WhatthedeucemadeyoudineattheJudge's？Youknowhisbandobust。
　　BLAYNE。'Thoughtitcouldn'tbeworsethantheClub，butI'llswearhebuysullagedliquoranddoctorsitwithginandink（lookingroundtheroom。）Isthisallofyouto-night？
　　DOONE。（P。W。D。）Anthonywascalledoutatdinner。Minglehadapaininhistummy。
　　CURTISS。MiggydiesofcholeraonceaweekintheRains，andgetsdrunkonchlorodyneinbetween。'Goodlittlechap，though。
　　AnyoneattheJudge's，Blayne？
　　BLAYNE。Cockleyandhismemsahiblookingawfullywhiteandfagged。'F（'。malegirl-couldn'tcatchthename-onherwaytotheHills，undertheCockleys'charge-theJudge，andMarkynfreshfromSimla-disgustinglyfit。
　　CURTISS。GoodLord，howtrulymagnificent！Wasthereenoughice？WhenImangledgarbagethereIgotonewholelump-nearlyasbigasawalnut。WhathadMarkyntosayforhimself？
　　BLAYNE。'Seemsthateveryoneishavingafairlygoodtimeupthereinspiteoftherain。ByJove，thatremindsme！IknowI
　　hadn'tcomeacrossjustforthepleasureofyoursociety。News！
　　Greatnews！Markyntoldme。
　　DOONE。Who'sdeadnow？
　　BLAYNE。NoonethatIknowof；butGandy'shookedatlast！
　　DROPPINGCHORUS。Howmuch？TheDevil！Markynwaspullingyourleg。NotGANDY！
　　BLAYNE。（Humming。）"Yea，verily，verily，verily！Verily，verily，Isayuntothee。"Theodore，thegifto'God！OurPhillup！It'sbeengivenoutupabove。
　　MACKESY。（Barrister-at-Law。）Huh！Womenwillgiveoutanything。Whatdoesaccusedsay？
　　BLAYNE。Markyntoldmethathecongratulatedhimwarily-onehandheldout，t'otherreadytoguard。Gandyturnedpinkandsaiditwasso。
　　CURTISS。PooroldCaddy！Theyalldoit。Who'sshe？Let'shearthedetails。
　　BLAYNE。She'sagirl-daughterofaColonelSomebody。
　　DOONE。Simla'sstiffwithColonels'daughters。Bemoreexplicit。
　　BLAYNE。Waitashake。Whatwashername？Thresomething。
　　Three-
　　CURTISS。Stars，perhaps。Caddyknowsthatbrand。
　　BLAYNE。Threegan-MinnieThreegan。
　　MACKESY。ThreeganIsn'tshealittlebitofagirlwithredhair？
　　BLAYNE。'Boutthat-fromwhatfromwhatMarkynsaid。
　　MACKESY。ThenI'vemether。ShewasatLucknowlastseason。
　　'OwnedapermanentlyjuvenileMamma，anddanceddamnably。I
　　say，Jervoise，youknewtheThreegans，didn'tyou？
　　JERVOISE。（Civilianoftwenty-fiveyears'service，wakingupfromhisdoze。）Eh？What'sthat？Knewwho？How？IthoughtIwasatHome，confoundyou！
　　MACKESY。TheThreegangirl'sengaged，soBlaynesays。
　　JERVOISE。（Slowly。）Engaged-en-gaged！Blessmysoul！I'mgettinganoldman！LittleMinnieThreeganengaged。ItwasonlytheotherdayIwenthomewiththemintheSurat-no，theMassilia-
　　andshewascrawlingaboutonherhandsandkneesamongtheayahs。'Usedtocallmethe"TickTackSakib"becauseIshowedhermywatch。AndthatwasinSixty-Seven-no，Seventy。GoodGod，howtimeflies！I'manoldman。IrememberwhenThreeganmarriedMissDerwent-daughterofoldHookyDerwent-butthatwasbeforeyourtime。Andsothelittlebaby'sengagedtohavealittlebabyofherown！Who'stheotherfool？
　　MACKESY。GadsbyofthePinkHussars。
　　JERVOISE。'Nevermethim。Threeganlivedindebt，marriedindebt，and'lldieindebt。'Mustbegladtogetthegirloffhishands。
　　BLAYNE。Caddyhasmoney-luckydevil。PlaceatHome，too。
　　DOONE。Hecomesoffirst-classstock。'Can'tquiteunderstandhisbeingcaughtbyaColonel'sdaughter，and（lookingcautiouslyroundroom。）BlackInfantryatthat！Nooffencetoyou，Blayne。
　　BLAYNE。（Stiffly。）Notmuch，thaanks。
　　CURTISS。（QuotingmottoofIrregularMoguls。）"Wearewhatweare，"eh，oldman？ButGandywassuchasuperioranimalasarule。
　　Whydidn'thegoHomeandpickhiswifethere？
　　MACKESY。Theyareallalikewhentheycometotheturnintothestraight。Aboutthirtyamanbeginstogetsickoflivingalone。
　　CURTISS。Andoftheeternalmuttony-chopinthemorning。
　　DOONE。It'sadeadgoatasarule，butgoon，Mackesy。
　　MACKESY。Ifaman'soncetakenthatwaynothingwillholdhim，DoyourememberBenoitofyourservice，Doone？TheytransferredhimtoTharandawhenhistimecame，andhemarriedaplatelayer'sdaughter，orsomethingofthatkind。Shewastheonlyfemaleabouttheplace。
　　DONE。Yes，poorbrute。ThatsmashedBenoit'schancesofpromotionaltogether。Mrs。Benoitusedtoask"Wasyougem'tothedancethisevenin'？"
　　CURTISS。Hangitall！Gandyhasn'tmarriedbeneathhim。There'snotarbrushinthefamily，Isuppose。
　　JERVOISE。Tar-brush！Notananna。Youyoungfellowstalkasthoughthemanwasdoingthegirlanhonorinmarryingher。
　　You'realltooconceited-nothing'sgoodenoughforyou。
　　BLAYNE。NotevenanemptyClub，adam'baddinnerattheJudge's，andaStationassicklyasahospital。You'requiteright。
　　We'reasetofSybarites。
　　DOONE。Luxuriousdogs，wallowingin-
　　CURTISS。Pricklyheatbetweentheshoulders。I'mcoveredwithit。Let'shopeBeorawillbecooler。
　　BLAYNE。Whew！Areyouorderedintocamp，too？IthoughttheGunnershadacleansheet。
　　CURTISS。No，worseluck。Twocasesyesterday-onedied-andifwehaveathird，outwego。IsthereanyshootingatBeora，Doone？
　　DOONE。Thecountry'sunderwater，exceptthepatchbytheGrandTrunkRoad。Iwasthereyesterday，lookingatabund，andcameacrossfourpoordevilsintheirlaststage。It'sratherbadfromheretoKuchara。
　　CURTISS。Thenwe'reprettycertaintohaveaheavygoofit。
　　Heigho！Ishouldn'tmindchangingplaceswithGaddyforawhile。
　　'SportwithAmaryllisintheshadeoftheTownHall，andallthat。
　　Oh，whydoesn'tsomebodycomeandmarryme，insteadoflettingmegointocholera-camp？
　　MACKESY。AsktheCommittee。
　　CURTISS。Youruffian！You'llstandmeanotherpegforthat。
　　Blayne，whatwillyoutake？Mackesyisfineonmoralgrounds。
　　Done，haveyouanypreference？
　　DONE。SmallglassKummel，please。Excellentcarminative，thesedays。Anthonytoldmeso。
　　MACKESY。（Signingvoucherforfourdrinks。）Mostunfairpunishment。IonlythoughtofCurtissasActaeonbeingchiviedroundthebilliardtablesbythenymphsofDiana。
　　BLAYNE。Curtisswouldhavetoimporthisnymphsbytrain。Mrs。
　　Cockley'stheonlywomanintheStation。Shewon'tleaveCockley，andhe'sdoinghisbesttogethertogo。
　　CURTISS。Good，indeed！Here'sMrs。Cockley'shealth。TotheonlywifeintheStationandadamnedbravewoman！
　　OMNES。（Drinking。）AdamnedbravewomanBLAVNE。IsupposeGandywillbringhiswifehereattheendofthecoldweather。Theyaregoingtobemarriedalmostimmediately，Ibelieve。
　　CURTISS。GandymaythankhisluckthatthePinkHussarsarealldetachmentandnoheadquartersthishotweather，orhe'dbetornfromthearmsofhisloveassureasdeath。Haveyouevernoticedthethorough-mindedwayBritishCavalrytaketocholera？It'sbecausetheyaresoexpensive。IfthePinkshadstoodfasthere，theywouldhavebeenoutincampa。monthago。Yes，IshoulddecidedlyliketobeGandy。
　　MACKESY。He'llgoHomeafterhe'smarried，andsendinhispapers-seeifhedoesn't。
　　BLAYNE。Whyshouldn'the？Hasn'themoney？Wouldanyoneofusbehereifweweren'tpaupers？
　　DONE。Pooroldpauper！Whathasbecomeofthesixhundredyourookedfromourtablelastmonth？
　　BLAYNE。Ittookuntoitselfwings。Ithinkanenterprisingtradesmangotsomeofit，andashroffgobbledtherest-orelseI
　　spentit。
　　CURTISS。Gandyneverhaddealingswithashroffinhislife。
　　DONE。VirtuousGandy！IfIhadthreethousandamonth，paidfromEngland，Idon'tthinkI'ddealwithashroffeither。
　　MACKESY。（Yawning。）Oh，it'sasweetlife！Iwonderwhethermatrimonywouldmakeitsweeter。
　　CURTISS。AskCockley-withhiswifedyingbyinches！
　　BLAYNE。Gohomeandgetafoolofagirltocomeoutto-whatisitThackeraysays？-"thesplendidpalaceofanIndianpro-consul。"
　　DOONE。Whichremindsme。Myquartersleaklikeasieve。Ihadfeverlastnightfromsleepinginaswamp。Andtheworstofitis，onecan'tdoanythingtoarooftilltheRainsareover。
　　CURTISS。What'swrongwithyou？Youhaven'teightyrottingTommiestotakeintoarunningstream。
　　DONE。No:butI'mmixedboilsandbadlanguage。I'maregularJoballovermybody。It'ssheerpovertyofblood，andIdon'tseeanychanceofgettingricher-eitherway。
　　BLAYNE。Can'tyoutakeleave？DONE。That'sthepullyouArmymenhaveoverus。Tendaysarenothinginyoursight。I'msoimportantthatGovernmentcan'tfindasubstituteifIgoaway。
　　Ye-es，I'dliketobeGandy，whoeverhiswifemaybe。
　　CURTISS。You'vepassedtheturnoflifethatMackesywasspeakingof。
　　DONE。IndeedIhave，butIneveryethadthebrutalitytoaskawomantosharemylifeouthere。
　　BLAvNE。OnmysoulIbelieveyou'reright。I'mthinkingofMrs。
　　Cockley。Thewoman'sanabsolutewreck。
　　DONE。Exactly。Becauseshestaysdownhere。TheonlywaytokeepherfitwouldbetosendhertotheHillsforeightmonths-andthesamewithanywoman。IfancyIseemyselftakingawifeonthoseterms。
　　MACKESY。Withtherupeeatoneandsixpence。ThelittleDooneswouldbelittleDebraDoones，withafineMussooriechi-chianenttobringhomefortheholidays。
　　CURTISS。Andapairofbe-ewtifulsambhur-hornsforDonetowear，freeofexpense，presentedby-DONE。Yes，it'sanenchantingprospect。Bytheway，therupeehasn'tdonefallingyet。Thetimewillcomewhenweshallthinkourselvesluckyifweonlylosehalfourpay。
　　CURTISS。Surelyathird'slossenough。Whogainsbythearrangement？That'swhatIwanttoknow。
　　BLAYNE。TheSilverQuestion！I'mgoingtobedifyoubeginsquabblingThankGoodness，here'sAnthony-lookinglikeaghost。
　　EnterANTHONY，IndianMedicalStaff，verywhiteandtired。
　　ANTHONY。'Evening，Blayne。It'sraininginsheets。Whiskeypeglao，khitmatgar。Theroadsaresomethingghastly。
　　CURTISS。How'sMingle？
　　ANTHONY。Verybad，andmorefrightened。IhandedhimovertoFew-ton。Minglemightjustaswellhavecalledhiminthefirstplace，insteadofbotheringme。
　　BLAYNE。He'sanervouslittlechap。Whathashegot，thistime？
　　ANTHONY。'Can'tquitesay。Averybadtummyandabluefunksofar。Heaskedmeatonceifitwascholera，andItoldhimnottobeafool。Thatsoothedhim。
　　CURTIS。Poordevil！Thefunkdoeshalfthebusinessinamanofthatbuild。
　　ANTHONY。（Lightingacheroot。）Ifirmlybelievethefunkwillkillhimifhestaysdown。Youknowtheamountoftroublehe'sbeengivingFewtonforthelastthreeweeks。He'sdoinghisverybesttofrightenhimselfintothegrave。
　　GENERALCHORUS。Poorlittledevil！Whydoesn'thegetaway？
　　ANTHONY。'Can't。Hehashisleaveallright，buthe'ssodippedhecan'ttakeit，andIdon'tthinkhisnameonpaperwouldraisefourannas。That'sinconfidence，though。
　　MACKESY。AlltheStationknowsit。
　　ANTHONY。"IsupposeIshallhavetodiehere，"hesaid，squirmingallacrossthebed。He'squitemadeuphismindtoKingdomCome。AndIknowhehasnothingmorethanawet-weathertummyifhecouldonlykeepahandonhimself。
　　BLAYNE。That'sbad。That'sverybad。PoorlittleMiggy。Goodlittlechap，too。Isay-
　　ANTHONY。Whatdoyousay？
　　BLAYNE。Well，lookhere-anyhow。Ifit'slikethat-asyousay-I
　　sayfifty。
　　CURTISS。Isayfifty。
　　MACKESY。Igotwentybetter。
　　DONE。BloatedCroesusoftheBar！Isayfifty。Jervoise，whatdoyousay？Hi！Wakeup！
　　JERVOISE。Eh？What'sthat？What'sthat？
　　CURTISS。Wewantahundredrupeesfromyou。You'reabachelordrawingagiganticincome，andthere'samaninahole。
　　JERVOISE。Whatman？Anyonedead？
　　BLAYNE。No，huthe'lldieifyoudon'tgivethehundred。Here！
　　Here'sapeg-voucher。Youcanseewhatwe'vesignedfor，andAnthony'smanwillcomeroundto-morrowtocollectit。Sotherewillbenotrouble。
　　JERVOISE。（Signing。）Onehundred，E。M。J。Thereyouare（feebly）。Itisn'toneofyourjokes，isit？
　　BLAYNE。No，itreallyiswanted。Anthony，youwerethebiggestpoker-winnerlastweek，andyou'vedefraudedthetax-collectortoolong。Sign！
　　ANTHONY。Let'ssee。Threefiftiesandaseventy-twotwenty-threetwenty-sayfourhundredandtwenty。That'llgivehimamonthclearattheHills。Manythanks，youmen。I'llsendroundthechaprassito-morrow。
　　CURTISS。Youmustengineerhistakingthestuff，andofcourseyoumustn't-
　　ANTHONY。Ofcourse。Itwouldneverdo。He'dweepwithgratitudeoverhiseveningdrink。
　　BLAYNE。That'sjustwhathewoulddo，damnhim。Oh！Isay，Anthony，youpretendtoknoweverything。HaveyouheardaboutGandy？
　　ANTHONY。No。DivorceCourtatlast？
　　BLAYNE。Worse。He'sengaged！
　　ANTHONY。Howmuch？Hecan'tbe！
　　BLAYNE。Heis。He'sgoingtobemarriedinafewweeks。MarkyntoldmeattheJudge'sthisevening。It'spukka。
　　ANTHONY。Youdon'tsayso？HolyMoses！There'llbeashineinthetentsofKedar。
　　CURTISS。'Regimentcutuprough，thinkyou？
　　ANTHONY。'Don'tknowanythingabouttheRegiment。
　　MACKESY。Itisbigamy，then？
　　ANTHONY。Maybe。Doyoumeantosaythatyoumenhaveforgotten，oristheremorecharityintheworldthanIthought？
　　DONE。Youdon'tlookprettywhenyouaretryingtokeepasecret。
　　Youbloat。Explain。
　　ANTHONY。Mrs。Herriott！
　　BLAYNE。（Afteralongpause，totheroomgenerally。）It'smynotionthatweareasetoffools。
　　MACKESY。Nonsense。Thatbusinesswasknockedontheheadlastseason。Why，youngMallard-
　　ANTHONY。Mallardwasacandlestick，paradedassuch。Thinkawhile。Recollectlastseasonandthetalkthen。MallardornoMallard，didGandyevertalktoanyotherwoman？
　　CURTISS。There'ssomethinginthat。Itwasslightlynoticeablenowyoucometomentionit。Butshe'satNainiTatandhe'satSimla。
　　ANTHONY。HehadtogotoSimlatolookafteraglobe-trotterrelativeofhis-apersonwithatitle。Uncleoraunt。
　　BLAYNEAndtherehegotengaged。Nolawpreventsamangrowingtiredofawoman。
　　ANTHONY。Exceptthathemustn'tdoittillthewomanistiredofhim。AndtheHerriottwomanwasnotthat。
　　CURTISS。Shemaybenow。TwomonthsofNainiTalworkswonders。
　　DONE。CuriousthinghowsomewomencarryaFatewiththem。
　　TherewasaMrs。DeegieintheCentralProvinceswhosemeninvariablyfellawayandgotmarried。ItbecamearegularproverbwithuswhenIwasdownthere。Irememberthreemendesperatelydevotedtoher，andtheyall，oneafteranother，tookwives。
　　CURTISS。That'sodd。NowIshouldhavethoughtthatMrs。
　　Deegie'sinfluencewouldhaveledthemtotakeothermen'swives。
　　ItoughttohavemadethemafraidofthejudgmentofProvidence。
　　ANTHONY。Mrs。HerriottwillmakeGandyafraidofsomethingmorethanthejudgmentofProvidence，Ifancy。
　　BLAYNE。Supposingthingsareasyousay，he'llbeafooltofaceher。He'llsittightatSimla。
　　ANTHONY。'Shouldn'tbeabitsurprisedifhewentofftoNainitoexplain。He'sanunaccountablesortofman，andshe'slikelytobeamorethanunaccountablewoman。
　　DONE。Whatmakesyoutakehercharacterawaysoconfidently？
　　ANTHONY。Primumternpus。Caddywasherfirstandawomandoesn'tallowherfirstmantodropawaywithoutexpostulation。
　　Shejustifiesthefirsttransferofaffectiontoherselfbyswearingthatitisforeverandever。Consequently-
　　BLAYNE。Consequently，wearesittingheretillpastoneo'clock，talkingscandallikeasetofStationcats。Anthony，it'sallyourfault。WewereperfectlyrespectabletillyoucameinGotobed。
　　I'moff，Good-nightall。
　　CURTISS。Pastone！It'spasttwobyJove，andhere'sthekhitcomingforthelatecharge。JustHeavens！One，two，three，four，fiverupeestopayforthepleasureofsayingthatapoorlittlebeastofawomanisnobetterthansheshouldbe。I'mashamedofmyself。
　　Gotobed，youslanderousvillains，andifI'msenttoBeorato-morrow，bepreparedtohearI'mdeadbeforepayingmycardaccount！
　　THETENTSOFKEDAR
　　OnlywhyshoulditbewithpainatallWhymustI'twixtheleavesofcorona！Putanykissofpardononthybrow？Whyshouldtheotherwomenknowsomuch，Andtalktogether-SuchthelookandsuchThesmileheusedtolovewith，thenasnow-AnyWifetoanyHusband。
　　SCENE-ANainiTaldinnerforthirty-four。Plate，wines，crockery，andkhitmatgarscarefullycalculatedtoscaleofRs。6000permensem，lessExchange。Tablesplitlengthwaysbybankofflowers。
　　MRS。HERRIOTT。（Afterconversationhasrisentoproperpitch。）
　　Ah！'Didn'tseeyouinthecrushinthedrawing-room。（Sottovoce。）
　　Wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile，Pip？
　　CAPTAINGADSBY。（Turningfromregularlyordaineddinnerpartnerandsettlinghockglasses。）Goodevening。（Sottovoce。）
　　Notquitesoloudanothertime。You'venonotionhowyourvoicecarries。（Aside。）Somuchforshirkingthewrittenexplanation。It'llhavetobeaverbalonenow。Sweetprospect！HowonearthamI
　　totellherthatIamarespectable，engagedmemberofsocietyandit'salloverbetweenus？
　　MRS。H。I'veaheavyscoreagainstyou。WherewereyouattheMondayPop？WherewereyouonTuesday？WherewereyouattheLamonts'tennis？Iwaslookingeverywhere。
　　CAPT。G。Forme！Oh，Iwasalivesomewhere，Isuppose。
　　（Aside。）It'sforMinnie'ssake，butit'sgoingtobedashedunpleasant。
　　MRS。H。HaveIdoneanythingtooffendyou？InevermeantitifI
　　have。Icouldn'thelpgoingforaridewiththeVaynorman。Itwaspromisedaweekbeforeyoucameup。
　　CAPT。G。Ididn'tknow-
　　MRS。H。Itreallywas。
　　CAPT。G。Anythingaboutit，Imean。
　　MRS。H。Whathasupsetyoutoday？Allthesedays？Youhaven'tbeennearmeforfourwholedays-nearlyonehundredhours。Wasitkindofyou，Pip？AndI'vebeenlookingforwardsomuchtoyourcoming。
　　CAPT。G。Haveyou？
　　MRS。H。YouknowIhave！I'vebeenasfoolishasaschoolgirlaboutit。Imadealittlecalendarandputitinmycard-case，andeverytimethetwelveo'clockgunwentoffIscratchedoutasquareandsaid:"ThatbringsmenearertoPip。MyPip！"
　　CAPT。G。（Withanuneasylaugh）。WhatwillMacklerthinkifyouneglecthimso？
　　MRS。H。Andithasn'tbroughtyounearer。Youseemfartherawaythanever。Areyousulkingaboutsomething？Iknowyourtemper。