Geraldstoodleaningbackagainstthemantel—piece。HelookeddownatBirkin，andhiseyesflashedwithasortofterrorliketheeyesofastallion，thatarebloodshotandoverwrought，turnedglancingbackwardsinastiffterror。
　　`IfellthatifIdon'twatchmyself，Ishallfindmyselfdoingsomethingsilly，'hesaid。
　　`Whynotdoit？'saidBirkincoldly。
　　Geraldlistenedwithquickimpatience。HekeptglancingdownatBirkin，asiflookingforsomethingfromtheotherman。
　　`IusedtodosomeJapanesewrestling，'saidBirkin。`AJaplivedinthesamehousewithmeinHeidelberg，andhetaughtmealittle。ButI
　　wasnevermuchgoodatit。'
　　`Youdid！'exclaimedGerald。`That'soneofthethingsI'venevereverseendone。Youmeanjiu—jitsu，Isuppose？'
　　`Yes。ButIamnogoodatthosethings——theydon'tinterestme。'
　　`Theydon't？Theydome。What'sthestart？'
　　`I'llshowyouwhatIcan，ifyoulike，'saidBirkin。
　　`Youwill？'Aqueer，smilinglooktightenedGerald'sfaceforamoment，ashesaid，`Well，I'dlikeitverymuch。'
　　`Thenwe'lltryjiu—jitsu。Onlyyoucan'tdomuchinastarchedshirt。'
　　`Thenletusstrip，anddoitproperly。Holdaminute——'Herangthebell，andwaitedforthebutler。
　　`Bringacoupleofsandwichesandasyphon，'hesaidtotheman，`andthendon'ttroublemeanymoretonight——orletanybodyelse。'
　　Themanwent。GeraldturnedtoBirkinwithhiseyeslighted。
　　`AndyouusedtowrestlewithaJap？'hesaid。`Didyoustrip？'
　　`Sometimes。'
　　`Youdid！Whatwashelikethen，asawrestler？'
　　`Good，Ibelieve。Iamnojudge。Hewasveryquickandslipperyandfullofelectricfire。Itisaremarkablething，whatacurioussortoffluidforcetheyseemtohaveinthem，thosepeoplenotlikeahumangrip——likeapolyp——'
　　Geraldnodded。
　　`Ishouldimagineso，'hesaid，`tolookatthem。Theyrepelme，rather。'
　　`Repelandattract，both。Theyareveryrepulsivewhentheyarecold，andtheylookgrey。Butwhentheyarehotandroused，thereisadefiniteattraction——acuriouskindoffullelectricfluid——likeeels。'
　　`Well——yes——probably。'
　　Themanbroughtinthetrayandsetitdown。
　　`Don'tcomeinanymore，'saidGerald。
　　Thedoorclosed。
　　`Wellthen，'saidGerald;`shallwestripandbegin？Willyouhaveadrinkfirst？'
　　`No，Idon'twantone。'
　　`NeitherdoI。'
　　Geraldfastenedthedoorandpushedthefurnitureaside。Theroomwaslarge，therewasplentyofspace，itwasthicklycarpeted。Thenhequicklythrewoffhisclothes，andwaitedforBirkin。Thelatter，whiteandthin，cameovertohim。Birkinwasmoreapresencethanavisibleobject，Geraldwasawareofhimcompletely，butnotreallyvisually。WhereasGeraldhimselfwasconcreteandnoticeable，apieceofpurefinalsubstance。
　　`Now，'saidBirkin，`IwillshowyouwhatIlearned，andwhatIremember。
　　Youletmetakeyouso——'Andhishandsclosedonthenakedbodyoftheotherman。Inanothermoment，hehadGeraldswungoverlightlyandbalancedagainsthisknee，headdownwards。Relaxed，Geraldsprangtohisfeetwitheyesglittering。
　　`That'ssmart，'hesaid。`Nowtryagain。'
　　Sothetwomenbegantostruggletogether。Theywereverydissimilar。
　　Birkinwastallandnarrow，hisboneswereverythinandfine。Geraldwasmuchheavierandmoreplastic。Hisboneswerestrongandround，hislimbswererounded，allhiscontourswerebeautifullyandfullymoulded。Heseemedtostandwithaproper，richweightonthefaceoftheearth，whilstBirkinseemedtohavethecentreofgravitationinhisownmiddle。AndGeraldhadarich，frictionalkindofstrength，rathermechanical，butsuddenandinvincible，whereasBirkinwasabstractastobealmostintangible。
　　Heimpingedinvisiblyupontheotherman，scarcelyseemingtotouchhim，likeagarment，andthensuddenlypiercinginatensefinegripthatseemedtopenetrateintotheveryquickofGerald'sbeing。
　　Theystopped，theydiscussedmethods，theypractisedgripsandthrows，theybecameaccustomedtoeachother，toeachother'srhythm，theygotakindofmutualphysicalunderstanding。Andthenagaintheyhadarealstruggle。Theyseemedtodrivetheirwhitefleshdeeperanddeeperagainsteachother，asiftheywouldbreakintoaoneness。Birkinhadagreatsubtleenergy，thatwouldpressupontheothermanwithanuncannyforce，weighhimlikeaspellputuponhim。Thenitwouldpass，andGeraldwouldheavefree，withwhite，heaving，dazzlingmovements。
　　Sothetwomenentwinedandwrestledwitheachother，workingnearerandnearer。Bothwerewhiteandclear，butGeraldflushedsmartredwherehewastouched，andBirkinremainedwhiteandtense。HeseemedtopenetrateintoGerald'smoresolid，morediffusebulk，tointerfusehisbodythroughthebodyoftheother，asiftobringitsubtlyintosubjection，alwaysseizingwithsomerapidnecromanticfore—knowledgeeverymotionoftheotherflesh，convertingandcounteractingit，playinguponthelimbsandtrunkofGeraldlikesomehardwind。ItwasasifBirkin'swholephysicalintelligenceinterpenetratedintoGerald'sbody，asifhisfine，sublimatedenergyenteredintothefleshofthefullerman，likesomepotency，castingafinenet，aprison，throughthemusclesintotheverydepthsofGerald'sphysicalbeing。
　　Sotheywrestledswiftly，rapturously，intentandmindlessatlast，twoessentialwhitefiguresworkingintoatightercloseronenessofstruggle，withastrange，octopus—likeknottingandflashingoflimbsinthesubduedlightoftheroom;atensewhiteknotoffleshgrippedinsilencebetweenthewallsofoldbrownbooks。Nowandagaincameasharpgaspofbreath，orasoundlikeasigh，thentherapidthuddingofmovementonthethickly—carpetedfloor，thenthestrangesoundoffleshescapingunderflesh。Often，inthewhiteinterlacedknotofviolentlivingbeingthatswayedsilently，therewasnoheadtobeseen，onlytheswift，tightlimbs，thesolidwhitebacks，thephysicaljunctionoftwobodiesclinchedintooneness。Thenwouldappearthegleaming，ruffledheadofGerald，asthestrugglechanged，thenforamomentthedun—coloured，shadow—likeheadoftheothermanwouldliftupfromtheconflict，theeyeswideanddreadfulandsightless。
　　AtlengthGeraldlaybackinertonthecarpet，hisbreastrisingingreatslowpanting，whilstBirkinkneeledoverhim，almostunconscious。
　　Birkinwasmuchmoreexhausted。Hecaughtlittle，shortbreaths，hecouldscarcelybreatheanymore。Theearthseemedtotiltandsway，andacompletedarknesswascomingoverhismind。Hedidnotknowwhathappened。Heslidforwardquiteunconscious，overGerald，andGeralddidnotnotice。Thenhewashalf—consciousagain，awareonlyofthestrangetiltingandslidingoftheworld。Theworldwassliding，everythingwasslidingoffintothedarkness。Andhewassliding，endlessly，endlesslyaway。
　　Hecametoconsciousnessagain，hearinganimmenseknockingoutside。
　　Whatcouldbehappening，whatwasit，thegreathammer—strokeresoundingthroughthehouse？Hedidnotknow。Andthenitcametohimthatitwashisownheartbeating。Butthatseemedimpossible，thenoisewasoutside。
　　No，itwasinsidehimself，itwashisownheart。Andthebeatingwaspainful，sostrained，surcharged。HewonderedifGeraldheardit。Hedidnotknowwhetherhewerestandingorlyingorfalling。
　　WhenherealisedthathehadfallenprostrateuponGerald'sbodyhewondered，hewassurprised。Buthesatup，steadyinghimselfwithhishandandwaitingforhishearttobecomestillerandlesspainful。Ithurtverymuch，andtookawayhisconsciousness。
　　GeraldhoweverwasstilllessconsciousthanBirkin。Theywaiteddimly，inasortofnot—being，formanyuncounted，unknownminutes。
　　`Ofcourse——'pantedGerald，`Ididn'thavetoberough——withyou——Ihadtokeepback——myforce——'
　　Birkinheardthesoundasifhisownspiritstoodbehindhim，outsidehim，andlistenedtoit。Hisbodywasinatranceofexhaustion，hisspiritheardthinly。Hisbodycouldnotanswer。Onlyheknewhisheartwasgettingquieter。Hewasdividedentirelybetweenhisspirit，whichstoodoutside，andknew，andhisbody，thatwasaplunging，unconsciousstrokeofblood。
　　`Icouldhavethrownyou——usingviolence——'pantedGerald。`Butyoubeatmerightenough。'
　　`Yes，'saidBirkin，hardeninghisthroatandproducingthewordsinthetensionthere，`you'remuchstrongerthanI——youcouldbeatme——
　　easily。'
　　Thenherelaxedagaintotheterribleplungingofhisheartandhisblood。
　　`Itsurprisedme，'pantedGerald，`whatstrengthyou'vegot。Almostsupernatural。'
　　`Foramoment，'saidBirkin。
　　Hestillheardasifitwerehisowndisembodiedspirithearing，standingatsomedistancebehindhim。Itdrewnearerhowever，hisspirit。Andtheviolentstrikingofbloodinhischestwassinkingquieter，allowinghismindtocomeback。Herealisedthathewasleaningwithallhisweightonthesoftbodyoftheotherman。Itstartledhim，becausehethoughthehadwithdrawn。Herecoveredhimself，andsatup。Buthewasstillvagueandunestablished。Heputouthishandtosteadyhimself。IttouchedthehandofGerald，thatwaslyingoutonthefloor。AndGerald'shandclosedwarmandsuddenoverBirkin's，theyremainedexhaustedandbreathless，theonehandclaspedcloselyovertheother。ItwasBirkinwhosehand，inswiftresponse，hadclosedinastrong，warmclaspoverthehandoftheother。Gerald'sclasphadbeensuddenandmomentaneous。
　　Thenormalconsciousnesshoweverwasreturning，ebbingback。Birkincouldbreathealmostnaturallyagain。Gerald'shandslowlywithdrew，Birkinslowly，dazedlyrosetohisfeetandwenttowardsthetable。Hepouredoutawhiskeyandsoda。Geraldalsocameforadrink。
　　`Itwasarealset—to，wasn'tit？'saidBirkin，lookingatGeraldwithdarkenedeyes。
　　`God，yes，'saidGerald。Helookedatthedelicatebodyoftheotherman，andadded:`Itwasn'ttoomuchforyou，wasit？'
　　`No。Oneoughttowrestleandstriveandbephysicallyclose。Itmakesonesane。'
　　`Youdothinkso？'
　　`Ido。Don'tyou？'
　　`Yes，'saidGerald。
　　Therewerelongspacesofsilencebetweentheirwords。Thewrestlinghadsomedeepmeaningtothem——anunfinishedmeaning。
　　`Wearementally，spirituallyintimate，thereforeweshouldbemoreorlessphysicallyintimatetoo——itismorewhole。'
　　`Certainlyitis，'saidGerald。Thenhelaughedpleasantly，adding:
　　`It'sratherwonderfultome。'Hestretchedouthisarmshandsomely。
　　`Yes，'saidBirkin。`Idon'tknowwhyoneshouldhavetojustifyoneself。'
　　`No。'
　　Thetwomenbegantodress。
　　`Ithinkalsothatyouarebeautiful，'saidBirkintoGerald，`andthatisenjoyabletoo。Oneshouldenjoywhatisgiven。'
　　`YouthinkIambeautiful——howdoyoumean，physically？'askedGerald，hiseyesglistening。
　　`Yes。Youhaveanorthernkindofbeauty，likelightrefractedfromsnow——andabeautiful，plasticform。Yes，thatistheretoenjoyaswell。
　　Weshouldenjoyeverything。'
　　Geraldlaughedinhisthroat，andsaid:
　　`That'scertainlyonewayoflookingatit。Icansaythismuch，Ifeelbetter。Ithascertainlyhelpedme。IsthistheBruderschaftyouwanted？'
　　`Perhaps。Doyouthinkthispledgesanything？'
　　`Idon'tknow，'laughedGerald。
　　`Atanyrate，onefeelsfreerandmoreopennow——andthatiswhatwewant。'
　　`Certainly，'saidGerald。
　　Theydrewtothefire，withthedecantersandtheglassesandthefood。
　　`IalwayseatalittlebeforeIgotobed，'saidGerald。`Isleepbetter。'
　　`Ishouldnotsleepsowell，'saidBirkin。
　　`No？Thereyouare，wearenotalike。I'llputadressing—gownon。'
　　Birkinremainedalone，lookingatthefire。HismindhadrevertedtoUrsula。
　　Sheseemedtoreturnagainintohisconsciousness。Geraldcamedownwearingagownofbroad—barred，thickblack—and—greensilk，brilliantandstriking。
　　`Youareveryfine，'saidBirkin，lookingatthefullrobe。
　　`ItwasacaftaninBokhara，'saidGerald。`Ilikeit。'
　　`Ilikeittoo。'
　　Birkinwassilent，thinkinghowscrupulousGeraldwasinhisattire，howexpensivetoo。Heworesilksocks，andstudsoffineworkmanship，andsilkunderclothing，andsilkbraces。Curious！Thiswasanotherofthedifferencesbetweenthem。Birkinwascarelessandunimaginativeabouthisownappearance。
　　`Ofcourseyou，'saidGerald，asifhehadbeenthinking;`there'ssomethingcuriousaboutyou。You'recuriouslystrong。Onedoesn'texpectit，itisrathersurprising。'
　　Birkinlaughed。Hewaslookingatthehandsomefigureoftheotherman，blondandcomelyintherichrobe，andhewashalfthinkingofthedifferencebetweenitandhimself——sodifferent;asfar，perhaps，apartasmanfromwoman，yetinanotherdirection。ButreallyitwasUrsula，itwasthewomanwhowasgainingascendanceoverBirkin'sbeing，atthismoment。Geraldwasbecomingdimagain，lapsingoutofhim。
　　`Doyouknow，'hesaidsuddenly，`IwentandproposedtoUrsulaBrangwentonight，thatsheshouldmarryme。'
　　HesawtheblankshiningwondercomeoverGerald'sface。
　　`Youdid？'
　　`Yes。Almostformally——speakingfirsttoherfather，asitshouldbe，intheworld——thoughthatwasaccident——ormischief。'
　　Geraldonlystaredinwonder，asifhedidnotgrasp。
　　`Youdon'tmeantosaythatyouseriouslywentandaskedherfathertoletyoumarryher？'
　　`Yes，'saidBirkin，`Idid。'
　　`What，hadyouspokentoherbeforeaboutit，then？'
　　`No，notaword。IsuddenlythoughtIwouldgothereandaskher——
　　andherfatherhappenedtocomeinsteadofher——soIaskedhimfirst。'
　　`Ifyoucouldhaveher？'concludedGerald。
　　`Ye—es，that。'
　　`Andyoudidn'tspeaktoher？'
　　`Yes。Shecameinafterwards。Soitwasputtoheraswell。'
　　`Itwas！Andwhatdidshesaythen？You'reanengagedman？'
　　`No，——sheonlysaidshedidn'twanttobebulliedintoanswering。'
　　`Shewhat？'
　　`Saidshedidn'twanttobebulliedintoanswering。'
　　`"Saidshedidn'twanttobebulliedintoanswering！"Why，whatdidshemeanbythat？'
　　Birkinraisedhisshoulders。`Can'tsay，'heanswered。`Didn'twanttobebotheredjustthen，Isuppose。'
　　`Butisthisreallyso？Andwhatdidyoudothen？'
　　`Iwalkedoutofthehouseandcamehere。'
　　`Youcamestraighthere？'
　　`Yes。'
　　Geraldstaredinamazementandamusement。Hecouldnottakeitin。
　　`Butisthisreallytrue，asyousayitnow？'
　　`Wordforword。'
　　`Itis？'
　　Heleanedbackinhischair，filledwithdelightandamusement。
　　`Well，that'sgood，'hesaid。`Andsoyoucameheretowrestlewithyourgoodangel，didyou？'
　　`DidI？'saidBirkin。
　　`Well，itlookslikeit。Isn'tthatwhatyoudid？'
　　NowBirkincouldnotfollowGerald'smeaning。
　　`Andwhat'sgoingtohappen？'saidGerald。`You'regoingtokeepopentheproposition，sotospeak？'
　　`Isupposeso。IvowedtomyselfIwouldseethemalltothedevil。
　　ButIsupposeIshallaskheragain，inalittlewhile。'
　　Geraldwatchedhimsteadily。
　　`Soyou'refondofherthen？'heasked。
　　`Ithink——Iloveher，'saidBirkin，hisfacegoingverystillandfixed。
　　Geraldglistenedforamomentwithpleasure，asifitweresomethingdonespeciallytopleasehim。Thenhisfaceassumedafittinggravity，andhenoddedhisheadslowly。
　　`Youknow，'hesaid，`Ialwaysbelievedinlove——truelove。Butwheredoesonefinditnowadays？'
　　`Idon'tknow，'saidBirkin。
　　`Veryrarely，'saidGerald。Then，afterapause，`I'veneverfeltitmyself——notwhatIshouldcalllove。I'vegoneafterwomen——andbeenkeenenoughoversomeofthem。ButI'veneverfeltlove。Idon'tbelieveI'veeverfeltasmuchloveforawoman，asIhaveforyou——notlove。YouunderstandwhatImean？'
　　`Yes。I'msureyou'veneverlovedawoman。'
　　`Youfeelthat，doyou？AnddoyouthinkIevershall？YouunderstandwhatImean？'Heputhishandtohisbreast，closinghisfistthere，asifhewoulddrawsomethingout。`Imeanthat——thatIcan'texpresswhatitis，butIknowit。'
　　`Whatisit，then？'askedBirkin。
　　`Yousee，Ican'tputitintowords。Imean，atanyrate，somethingabiding，somethingthatcan'tchange——'
　　Hiseyeswerebrightandpuzzled。
　　`NowdoyouthinkIshalleverfeelthatforawoman？'hesaid，anxiously。
　　Birkinlookedathim，andshookhishead。
　　`Idon'tknow，'hesaid。`Icouldnotsay。'
　　Geraldhadbeenonthequivive，asawaitinghisfate。Nowhedrewbackinhischair。
　　`No，'hesaid，`andneitherdoI，andneitherdoI。'
　　`Wearedifferent，youandI，'saidBirkin。`Ican'ttellyourlife。'
　　`No，'saidGerald，`nomorecanI。ButItellyou——Ibegintodoubtit！'
　　`Thatyouwilleverloveawoman？'
　　`Well——yes——whatyouwouldtrulycalllove——'
　　`Youdoubtit？'
　　`Well——Ibeginto。'
　　Therewasalongpause。
　　`Lifehasallkindsofthings，'saidBirkin。`Thereisn'tonlyoneroad。'
　　`Yes，Ibelievethattoo。Ibelieveit。Andmindyou，Idon'tcarehowitiswithme——Idon'tcarehowitis——solongasIdon'tfeel——'
　　hepaused，andablank，barrenlookpassedoverhisface，toexpresshisfeeling——`solongasIfeelI'velived，somehow——andIdon'tcarehowitis——butIwanttofeelthat——'
　　`Fulfilled，'saidBirkin。
　　`We—ell，perhapsitisfulfilled;Idon'tusethesamewordsasyou。'
　　`Itisthesame。'
　　WomenInLove:Chapter21CHAPTERXXIThresholdGUDRUNWASAWAYinLondon，havingalittleshowofherwork，withafriend，andlookinground，preparingforflightfromBeldover。Comewhatmightshewouldbeonthewinginaveryshorttime。
　　ShereceivedaletterfromWinifredCrich，ornamentedwithdrawings。
　　`FatheralsohasbeentoLondon，tobeexaminedbythedoctors。Itmadehimverytired。Theysayhemustrestaverygreatdeal，soheismostlyinbed。Hebroughtmealovelytropicalparrotinfaience，ofDresdenware，alsoamanploughing，andtwomiceclimbingupastalk，alsoinfaience。
　　ThemicewereCopenhagenware。Theyarethebest，butmicedon'tshinesomuch，otherwisetheyareverygood，theirtailsareslimandlong。Theyallshinenearlylikeglass。Ofcourseitistheglaze，butIdon'tlikeit。Geraldlikesthemanploughingthebest，histrousersaretorn，heisploughingwithanox，beingIsupposeaGermanpeasant。Itisallgreyandwhite，whiteshirtandgreytrousers，butveryshinyandclean。MrBirkinlikesthegirlbest，underthehawthornblossom，withalamb，andwithdaffodilspaintedonherskirts，inthedrawingroom。Butthatissilly，becausethelambisnotareallamb，andsheissillytoo。
　　`DearMissBrangwen，areyoucomingbacksoon，youareverymuchmissedhere。Iencloseadrawingoffathersittingupinbed。Hesayshehopesyouarenotgoingtoforsakeus。OhdearMissBrangwen，Iamsureyouwon't。
　　Docomebackanddrawtheferrets，theyarethemostlovelynobledarlingsintheworld。Wemightcarvetheminholly—wood，playingagainstabackgroundofgreenleaves。Ohdoletus，fortheyaremostbeautiful。
　　`Fathersayswemighthaveastudio。Geraldsayswecouldeasilyhaveabeautifuloneoverthestables，itwouldonlyneedwindowstobeputintheslantoftheroof，whichisasimplematter。Thenyoucouldstayherealldayandwork，andwecouldliveinthestudio，liketworealartists，likethemaninthepictureinthehall，withthefrying—panandthewallsallcoveredwithdrawings。Ilongtobefree，tolivethefreelifeofanartist。EvenGeraldtoldfatherthatonlyanartistisfree，becausehelivesinacreativeworldofhisown——'
　　Gudruncaughtthedriftofthefamilyintentions，inthisletter。GeraldwantedhertobeattachedtothehouseholdatShortlands，hewasusingWinifredashisstalking—horse。Thefatherthoughtonlyofhischild，hesawarockofsalvationinGudrun。AndGudrunadmiredhimforhisperspicacity。
　　Thechild，moreover，wasreallyexceptional。Gudrunwasquitecontent。
　　Shewasquitewilling，givenastudio，tospendherdaysatShortlands。
　　ShedislikedtheGrammarSchoolalreadythoroughly，shewantedtobefree。
　　Ifastudiowereprovided，shewouldbefreetogoonwithherwork，shewouldawaittheturnofeventswithcompleteserenity。AndshewasreallyinterestedinWinifred，shewouldbequitegladtounderstandthegirl。
　　SotherewasquitealittlefestivityonWinifred'saccount，thedayGudrunreturnedtoShortlands。
　　`YoushouldmakeabunchofflowerstogivetoMissBrangwenwhenshearrives，'Geraldsaidsmilingtohissister。
　　`Ohno，'criedWinifred，`it'ssilly。'
　　`Notatall。Itisaverycharmingandordinaryattention。'
　　`Oh，itissilly，'protestedWinifred，withalltheextrememauvaisehonteofheryears。Nevertheless，theideaappealedtoher。Shewantedverymuchtocarryitout。Sheflittedroundthegreen—housesandtheconservatorylookingwistfullyattheflowersontheirstems。Andthemoreshelooked，themoreshelongedtohaveabunchoftheblossomsshesaw，themorefascinatedshebecamewithherlittlevisionofceremony，andthemoreconsumedlyshyandself—consciousshegrew，tillshewasalmostbesideherself。Shecouldnotgettheideaoutofhermind。Itwasasifsomehauntingchallengepromptedher，andshehadnotenoughcouragetotakeitup。Soagainshedriftedintothegreen—houses，lookingatthelovelyrosesintheirpots，andatthevirginalcyclamens，andatthemysticwhiteclustersofacreeper。Thebeauty，ohthebeautyofthem，andohtheparadisalbliss，ifsheshouldhaveaperfectbouquetandcouldgiveittoGudrunthenextday。Herpassionandhercompleteindecisionalmostmadeherill。
　　Atlastsheslidtoherfather'sside。
　　`Daddie——'shesaid。
　　`What，myprecious？'
　　Butshehungback，thetearsalmostcomingtohereyes，inhersensitiveconfusion。Herfatherlookedather，andhisheartranhotwithtenderness，ananguishofpoignantlove。
　　`Whatdoyouwanttosaytome，mylove？'
　　`Daddie——！'hereyessmiledlaconically——`isn'titsillyifIgiveMissBrangwensomeflowerswhenshecomes？'
　　Thesickmanlookedatthebright，knowingeyesofhischild，andhisheartburnedwithlove。
　　`No，darling，that'snotsilly。It'swhattheydotoqueens。'
　　ThiswasnotveryreassuringtoWinifred。Shehalfsuspectedthatqueensinthemselveswereasilliness。Yetshesowantedherlittleromanticoccasion。
　　`ShallIthen？'sheasked。
　　`GiveMissBrangwensomeflowers？Do，Birdie。TellWilsonIsayyouaretohavewhatyouwant。'
　　Thechildsmiledasmall，subtle，unconscioussmiletoherself，inanticipationofherway。
　　`ButIwon'tgetthemtilltomorrow，'shesaid。
　　`Nottilltomorrow，Birdie。Givemeakissthen——'
　　Winifredsilentlykissedthesickman，anddriftedoutoftheroom。
　　Sheagainwenttheroundofthegreen—housesandtheconservatory，informingthegardener，inherhigh，peremptory，simplefashion，ofwhatshewanted，tellinghimallthebloomsshehadselected。
　　`Whatdoyouwantthesefor？'Wilsonasked。
　　`Iwantthem，'shesaid。Shewishedservantsdidnotaskquestions。
　　`Ay，you'vesaidasmuch。Butwhatdoyouwantthemfor，fordecoration，ortosendaway，orwhat？'
　　`Iwantthemforapresentationbouquet。'
　　`Apresentationbouquet！Who'scomingthen？——theDuchessofPortland？'
　　`No。'
　　`Oh，nother？Wellyou'llhaveararepoppy—showifyouputallthethingsyou'vementionedintoyourbouquet。'
　　`Yes，Iwantararepoppy—show。'
　　`Youdo！Thenthere'snomoretobesaid。'
　　ThenextdayWinifred，inadressofsilveryvelvet，andholdingagaudybunchofflowersinherhand，waitedwithkeenimpatienceintheschoolroom，lookingdownthedriveforGudrun'sarrival。Itwasawetmorning。Underhernosewasthestrangefragranceofhot—houseflowers，thebunchwaslikealittlefiretoher，sheseemedtohaveastrangenewfireinherheart。Thisslightsenseofromancestirredherlikeanintoxicant。
　　AtlastshesawGudruncoming，andsherandownstairstowarnherfatherandGerald。They，laughingatheranxietyandgravity，camewithherintothehall。Theman—servantcamehasteningtothedoor，andtherehewas，relievingGudrunofherumbrella，andthenofherraincoat。Thewelcomingpartyhungbacktilltheirvisitorenteredthehall。
　　Gudrunwasflushedwiththerain，herhairwasblowninlooselittlecurls，shewaslikeaflowerjustopenedintherain，theheartoftheblossomjustnewlyvisible，seemingtoemitawarmthofretainedsunshine。