neverthelessthelightisallone。"
AndIsawoverthebridgenearestme,whichwaswiderthantheother,countlessfootmarksgo。IaskedGodwhysomanywentoverit。
Godsaid,"Itslopeslessdeeply,andleadstothefirstheaven。"
AndIsawthatsomeofthefootmarkswereoffeetreturning。IaskedGodhowitwas。
Hesaid,"NomanwhohasonceenteredHeaveneverleavesit;butsome,whentheyhavegonehalfway,turnback,becausetheyareafraidthereisnolandbeyond。"
Isaid,"Hasnoneeverreturned?"
Godsaid,"No;onceinHeavenalwaysinHeaven。"
AndGodtookmeover。Andwhenwecametooneofthegreatdoors——forHeavenhasmoredoorsthanone,andtheyareallopen——thepostsroseupsohighoneithersideIcouldnotseethetop,norindeediftherewereany。
AnditseemedtomesowidethatallHellcouldgointhroughit。
IsaidtoGod,"Whichisthelarger,HeavenorHell?"
Godsaid,"Hellisaswide,butHeavenisdeeper。AllHellcouldbeengulfedinHeaven,butallHeavencouldnotbeengulfedinHell。"
Andweentered。Itwasastillgreatland。Themountainsroseoneveryhand,andtherewasapaleclearlight;andIsawitcamefromtherocksandstones。IaskedGodhowitwas。
ButGoddidnotanswerme。
Ilookedandwondered,forIhadthoughtHeavenwouldbeotherwise。Andafterawhileitbegantogrowbrighter,asifthedaywerebreaking,andI
askedGodifthesunwerenotgoingtorise。
Godsaid,"No;wearecomingtowherethepeopleare。"
Andaswewentonitgrewbrighterandbrightertillitwasburningday;
andontherockwereflowersblooming,andtreesblossomedattheroadside;
andstreamsofwaterraneverywhere,andIheardthebirdssinging;IaskedGodwheretheywere。
Godsaid,"Itisthepeoplecallingtooneanother。"
AndwhenwecamenearerIsawthemwalking,andtheyshoneastheywalked。
IaskedGodhowitwastheyworenocovering。
Godsaid,"Becausealltheirbodygivesthelight;theydarenotcoveranypart。"
AndIaskedGodwhattheyweredoing。
Godsaid,"Shiningontheplantsthattheymaygrow。"
AndIsawthatsomewereworkingincompanies,andsomealone,butmostwereintwos,sometimestwomenandsometimestwowomen;butgenerallytherewasonemanandonewoman;andIaskedGodhowitwas。
Godsaid,"Whenonemanandonewomanshinetogether,itmakesthemostperfectlight。Manyplantsneedthatfortheirgrowing。Nevertheless,therearemorekindsofplantsinHeaventhanone,andtheyneedmanykindsoflight。"
Andonefromamongthepeoplecamerunningtowardsme;andwhenhecamenearitseemedtomethatheandIhadplayedtogetherwhenwewerelittlechildren,andthatwehadbeenbornonthesameday。AndItoldGodwhatI
felt;Godsaid,"AllmenfeelsoinHeavenwhenanothercomestowardsthem。"
Andhewhorantowardsmeheldmyhand,andledmethroughthebrightlights。Andwhenwecameamongthetreeshesangaloud,andhiscompanionanswered,anditwasawoman,andheshowedmetoher。Shesaid,"Hemusthavewater";andshetooksomeinherhands,andfedme(IhadbeenafraidtodrinkofthewaterinHell),andtheygatheredfruitforme,andgaveitmetoeat。Theysaid,"Weshonelongtomakeitripen,"andtheylaughedtogetherastheysawmeeatit。
Themansaid,"Heisveryweary;hemustsleep"(forIhadnotdaredtosleepinHell),andhelaidmyheadonhiscompanion’skneeandspreadherhairoutoverme。Islept,andallthewhileinmysleepIthoughtIheardthebirdscallingacrossme。AndwhenIwokeitwaslikeearlymorning,withthedewoneverything。
Andthemantookmyhandandledmetoahiddenspotamongtherocks。Thegroundwasveryhard,butoutofitweresproutingtinyplants,andtherewasalittlestreamrunning。Hesaid,"Thisisagardenwearemaking,nooneelseknowsofit。Weshinehereeveryday;see,thegroundhascrackedwithourshining,andthislittlestreamisburstingout。See,theflowersaregrowing。"
Andheclimbedontherocksandpickedfromabovetwolittleflowerswithdewonthem,andgavethemtome。AndItookoneineachhand;myhandsshoneasIheldthem。Hesaid,"Thisgardenisforallwhenitisfinished。"Andhewentawaytohiscompanion,andIwentoutintothegreatpathway。
AndasIwalkedinthelightIheardaloudsoundofmuchsinging。AndwhenIcamenearerIsawonewithclosedeyes,singing,andhisfellowswerestandingroundhim;andthelightontheclosedeyeswasbrighterthananythingIhadseeninHeaven。Iaskedonewhoitwas。Andhesaid,"Hush!Oursingingbird。"
AndIaskedwhytheeyesshoneso。
Andhesaid,"Theycannotsee,andwehavekissedthemtilltheyshoneso。"
Andthepeoplegatheredcloserroundhim。
AndwhenIwentalittlefurtherIsawacrowdcrossingamongthetreesoflightwithgreatlaughter。WhentheycamecloseIsawtheycarriedonewithouthandsorfeet。AndalightcamefromthemaimedlimbssobrightthatIcouldnotlookatthem。
AndIsaidtoone,"Whatisit?"
Heanswered,"Thisisourbrotherwhooncefellandlosthishandsandfeet,andsincethenhecannothelphimself;butwehavetouchedthemaimedstumpssooftenthatnowtheyshinebrighterthananythinginHeaven。Wepasshimonthathemayshineonthingsthatneedmuchheat。Nooneisallowedtokeephimlong,hebelongstoall";andtheywentonamongthetrees。
IsaidtoGod,"Thisisastrangeland。Ihadthoughtblindnessandmaimednessweregreatevils。Heremenmakethemtoarejoicing。"
Godsaid,"Didstthouthenthinkthatlovehadneedofeyesandhands!"
AndIwalkeddowntheshiningwaywithpalmsoneitherhand。IsaidtoGod,"EversinceIwasalittlechildandsataloneandcried,Ihavedreamedofthisland,andnowIwillnotgoawayagain。Iwillstayhereandshine。"AndIbegantotakeoffmygarments,thatImightshineasothersinthatland;butwhenIlookeddownIsawmybodygavenolight。I
saidtoGod,"Howisit?"
Godsaid,"Istherenodarkbloodinyourheart;isitbitteragainstnone?"
AndIsaid,"Yes——";andIthought——"NowisthetimewhenIwilltellGod,thatwhichIhavebeen,meaningtotellhimallalong,howbadlymyfellow—
menhavetreatedme。Howtheyhavemisunderstoodme。HowIhaveintendedtobemagnanimousandgeneroustothem,andthey——。"AndIbegantotellGod;butwhenIlookeddownalltheflowerswerewitheringundermybreath,andIwassilent。
AndGodcalledmetocomeuphigher,andIgatheredmymantleaboutmeandfollowedhim。
Andtherocksgrewhigherandsteeperoneveryside;andwecameatlasttoaplacewhereagreatmountainrose,whosetopwaslostintheclouds。AndonitssideIsawmenworking;andtheypickedattheearthwithhugepicks;andIsawthattheylabouredmightily。Andsomelabouredincompanies,butmostlabouredsingly。AndIsawthedropsofsweatfallfromtheirforeheads,andthemusclesoftheirarmsstandoutwithlabour。
AndIsaid,"Ihadnotthoughtinheaventoseemenlabourso!"AndI
thoughtofthegardenwheremensangandloved,andIwonderedthatanyshouldchoosetolabouronthatbaremountain—side。AndIsawupontheforeheadsofthemenastheyworkedalight,andthedropswhichfellfromthemastheyworkedhadlight。
AndIaskedGodwhattheywereseekingfor。
AndGodtouchedmyeyes,andIsawthatwhattheyfoundweresmallstones,whichhadbeentoobrightformetoseebefore;andIsawthatthelightofthestonesandthelightonthemen’sforeheadswasthesame。AndIsawthatwhenonefoundastonehepasseditontohisfellow,andhetoanother,andhetoanother。Nomankeptthestonehefound。Andattimestheygatheredingreatcompanyaboutwhenalargestonewasfound,andraisedagreatshoutsothattheskyrang;thentheyworkedonagain。
AndIaskedGodwhattheydidwiththestonestheyfoundatlast。ThenGodtouchedmyeyesagaintomakethemstronger;andIlooked,andatmyveryfeetwasamightycrown。Thelightstreamedoutfromit。
Godsaid,"Eachstoneastheyfinditissethere。"
Andthecrownwaswroughtaccordingtoamarvellouspattern;onepatternranthroughall,yeteachpartwasdifferent。
IsaidtoGod,"Howdoeseachmanknowwheretosethisstone,sothatthepatternisworkedout?"
Godsaid,"Becauseinthelighthisforeheadshedseachmanseesfaintlyoutlinedthatfullcrown。"
AndIsaid,"Buthowisitthateachstoneisjoinedalongitsedgestoitsfellows,sothatthereisnoseamanywhere?"
Godsaid,"Thestonesarealive;theygrow。"
AndIsaid,"Butwhatdoeseachmangainbyhisworking?"
Godsaid,"Heseeshisoutlinefilled。"
Isaid,"Butthosestoneswhicharelastsetcoverthosewhichwerefirst;
andthosewillagainbecoveredbythosewhichcomelater。"
Godsaid,"Theyarecovered,butnothid。Thelightisthelightofall。
Withoutthefirst,nolast。"
AndIsaidtoGod,"Whenwillthiscrownbeended?"
AndGodsaid,"Lookup!"
Ilookedup;andIsawthemountaintoweraboveme,butitssummitIcouldnotsee;itwaslostintheclouds。
Godsaidnomore。
AndIlookedatthecrown:thenalongingseizedme。Likethepassionofamotherforthechildwhomdeathhastaken;liketheyearningofafriendforthefriendwhomlifehasburied;likethehungerofdyingeyesforalifethatisslipping;likethethirstofasoulforloveatitsfirstspringwaking,so,butfiercerwasthelonginginme。
IcriedtoGod,"Itoowillworkhere;Itoowillsetstonesinthewonderfulpattern;itshallgrowbeneathMYhand。Andifitbethat,labouringhereforyears,Ishouldnotfindonestone,atleastIwillbewiththementhatlabourhere。Ishallheartheirshoutofjoywheneachstoneisfound;Ishalljoinintheirtriumph,Ishallshoutamongthem;I
shallseethecrowngrow。"SogreatwasmylongingasIlookedatthecrown,Ithoughtafaintlightfellfrommyforeheadalso。
Godsaid,"Doyounothearthesinginginthegardens?"
Isaid,"No,Ihearnothing;Iseeonlythecrown。"AndIwasdumbwithlonging;IforgotalltheflowersofthelowerHeavenandthesingingthere。AndIranforward,andthrewmymantleontheearthandbenttoseizeoneofthemightytoolswhichlaythere。Icouldnotliftitfromtheearth。
Godsaid,"WherehastTHOUearnedthestrengthtoraiseit?Takeupthymantle。"
AndItookupmymantleandfollowedwhereGodcalledme;butIlookedback,andIsawthecrownburning,mycrownthatIhadloved。
Higherandhigherweclimbed,andtheairgrewthinner。Notatreeorplantwasonthebarerocks,andthestillnesswasunbroken。Mybreathcamehardandquick,andthebloodcreptwithinmyfinger—tips。IsaidtoGod,"IsthisHeaven?"
Godsaid,"Yes;itisthehighest。"
Andstillweclimbed。IsaidtoGod,"Icannotbreathesohigh。"
Godsaid,"Becausetheairispure?"
Andmyheadgrewdizzy,andasIclimbedthebloodburstfrommyfinger—
tips。
Thenwecameoutuponalonelymountain—top。
Nolivingbeingmovedthere;butfaroffonasolitarypeakIsawalonelyfigurestanding。WhetheritweremanorwomanIcouldnottell;forpartlyitseemedthefigureofawoman,butitslimbswerethemightylimbsofaman。IaskedGodwhetheritwasmanorwoman。
Godsaid,"IntheleastHeavensexreignssupreme;inthehigheritisnotnoticed;butinthehighestitdoesnotexist。"
AndIsawthefigurebendoveritswork,andlabourmightily,butwhatitlabouredatIcouldnotsee。
IsaidtoGod,"Howcameithere?"
Godsaid,"Byabloodystair。StepbystepitmountedfromthelowestHell,anddaybydayasHellgrewfartherandHeavennonearer,ithungalonebetweentwoworlds。Hourbyhourinthatbitterstruggleitslimbsgrewlarger,tilltherefellfromitragbyragthegarmentswhichitstartedwith。Dropsfellfromitseyesasitstrainedthem;eachstepitclimbedwaswetwithblood。Thenitcameouthere。"
AndIthoughtofthegardenwheremensangwiththeirarmsaroundoneanother;andthemountain—sidewheretheyworkedincompany。AndI
shuddered。
AndIsaid,"Isitnotterriblyalonehere?"
Godsaid,"Itisneveralone!"
Isaid,"Whathasitforallitslabour?Iseenothingreturntoit。"
ThenGodtouchedmyeyes,andIsawstretchedoutbeneathustheplainsofHeavenandHell,andallthatwaswithinthem。
Godsaid,"Fromthatloneheightonwhichhestands,allthingsareopen。
Tohimiscleartheshininginthegarden,heseestheflowerbreakforthandthestreamssparkle;noshoutisraiseduponthemountain—sidebuthisearmayhearit。Heseesthecrowngrowandthelightshootfromit。AllHellisopentohim。Heseesthepathsmountupwards。Tohim,HellistheseedgroundfromwhichHeavensprings。Heseesthesapascending。"
AndIsawthefigurebendoveritswork,andthelightfromitsfacefelluponit。
AndIsaidtoGod,"Whatisitmaking?"
AndGodsaid,"Music!"
Andhetouchedmyears,andIheardit。
AndafteralongwhileIwhisperedtoGod,"ThisisHeaven。"
AndGodaskedmewhyIwascrying。ButIcouldnotanswerforjoy。
Andthefaceturnedfromitswork,andthelightfelluponme。ThenitgrewsobrightIcouldnotseethingsseparately;andwhichwereGod,ortheman,orI,Icouldnottell;wewereallblended。IcriedtoGod,"Whereareyou?"buttherewasnoanswer,onlymusicandlight。
Afterwards,whenithadgrownsodarkagainthatIcouldseethingsseparately,IfoundthatIwasstandingtherewrappedtightinmylittleold,brown,earthlycloak,andGodandthemanwereseparatedfromeachother,andfromme。
IdidnotdaresayIwouldgoandmakemusicbesidetheman。IknewI
couldnotreacheventohisknee,normovetheinstrumentheplayed。ButI
thoughtIwouldstandthereonmylittlepeakandsinganaccompanimenttothatgreatmusic。AndItried;butmyvoicefailed。Itpipedandquavered。Icouldnotsingthattune。Iwassilent。
ThenGodpointedtome,thatIshouldgooutofHeaven。
AndIcriedtoGod,"Oh,letmestayhere!Ifindeeditbe,asIknowitis,thatIamnotgreatenoughtosinguponthemountain,norstrongenoughtolabouronitsside,norbrightenoughtoshineandlovewithinthegarden,atleastletmegodowntothegreatgateway;humblyIwillkneeltheresweeping;and,asthesavedpassin,Iwillseethelightupontheirfaces。Ishallhearthesinginginthegarden,andtheshoutuponthehillside——"
Godsaid,"Itmaynotbe;"hepointed。
AndIcried,"IfImaynotstayinHeaven,thenletmegodowntoHell,andIwillgraspthehandsofmenandwomenthere;andslowly,holdingoneanother’shands,wewillworkourwayupwards。"
StillGodpointed。
AndIthrewmyselfupontheearthandcried,"Earthissosmall,somean!
ItisnotmeetasoulshouldseeHeavenandbecastoutagain!"
AndGodlaidhishandonme,andsaid,"Gobacktoearth:thatwhichyouseekisthere。"
Iawoke:itwasmorning。Thesilenceanddarknessofthenightweregone。
ThroughmynarrowatticwindowIsawthelightofanotherday。Iclosedmyeyesandturnedtowardsthewall:Icouldnotlookuponthedullgreyworld。
Inthestreetsbelow,menandwomenstreamedpastbyhundreds;Iheardthebeatoftheirfeetonthepavement。Menontheirwaytobusiness;servantsonerrands;boyshurryingtoschool;wearyprofessorspacingslowlytheoldstreet;prostitutes,menandwomen,draggingtheirfeetwearilyafterlastnight’sdebauch;artistswithquick,impatientfootsteps;tradesmenfororders;childrentoseekforbread。Iheardthestreambeatby。Andatthealley’smouth,atthestreetcorner,abrokenbarrel—organwasplaying;
sometimesitquaveredandalmoststopped,thenwentonagain,likeabrokenhumanvoice。
Ilistened:myheartscarcelymoved;itwasascoldaslead。Icouldnotbearthelongdaybeforeme;andItriedtosleepagain;yetstillIheardthefeetuponthepavement。AndsuddenlyIheardthemcryloudastheybeat,"Weareseeking!——weareseeking!——weareseeking!"andthebrokenbarrel—organatthestreetcornersobbed,"TheBeautiful!——theBeautiful!——
theBeautiful!"Andmyheart,whichhadbeendead,criedoutwitheverythrob,"Love!——Truth!——theBeautiful!——theBeautiful!"ItwasthemusicI
hadheardinHeaventhatIcouldnotsingthere。
AndfullyIawoke。
Uponthefadedquilt,acrossmybedalongyellowstreakofpaleLondonsunlightwaslying。Itfellthroughmynarrowatticwindow。
Ilaughed。Irose。
Iwasgladthelongdaywasbeforeme。
ParisandLondon。