Tosparehimnowwouldbeamockery;
Hbigot’spridehastriumphedalltoolongOvermyrighteousanger,andhascausedFartoomuchtroubleinourfamily。
Therascalalltoolonghasruledmyfather,Andcrossedmyster’slove,andmineaswell。
Thetraitornowmustbeunmaskedbeforehim:
AndProvidencehasgivenmemeanstodoit。
ToHeavenIowetheopportunity,AndifIdidnotuseitnowIhaveit,Ishoulddeservetoloseitonceforall。
ELMIRE
Dam
DAM
No,byyourleave;I’llnotbecounselled。
I’moverjoyed。Youneedn’ttrytotellmeImustgiveupthepleasureofrevenge。
I’llmakeanendofthaffairatonce;
And,tocontentme,here’smyfathernow。
SCENEV
ORGON,ELMIRE,DAM,TARTUFFE
DAM
Father,we’venewstowelcomeyourarrival,That’saltogethernovel,andsurpring。
Youarewellpaidforyourcaressingcare,AndthfinegentlemanrewardsyourloveMosthandsomely,withzealthatseeksnolessThanyourdhonour,ashasnowbeenproven。
I’vejustsurpredhimmakingtoyourwifeTheshamefulofferofaguiltylove。
She,somewhatovergentleanddcreet,Instedthatthethingshouldbeconcealed;
ButIwillnotcondonesuchshamelessness,Norsofarwrongyouastokeepitsecret。
ELMIRE
Yes,IbelieveawifeshouldnevertroubleHerhusband’speaceofmindwithsuchvaingossip;
Awoman’shonourdoesnothangontelling;
Itenoughifshedefendherself;
OrsoIthink;Dam,you’dnothavespoken,Ifyouwouldbuthaveheededmyadvice。
SCENEVI
ORGON,DAM,TARTUFFE
ORGON
JustHeaven!CanwhatIhearbecredited?
TARTUFFE
Yes,brother,Iamwicked,Iamguilty,Amerablesinner,steepedinevil,Thegreatestcriminalthateverlived。
Eachmomentofmylifestainedwithsoilures;
Andallbutamassofcrimeandfilth;
Heaven,formypunhment,Iseeitplainly,Wouldmortifymenow。WhateverwrongTheyfindtochargemewith,I’llnotdenyitButguardagainsttheprideofself—defence。
Believetheirstories,armyourwrathagainstme,Anddrivemelikeavillainfromyourhouse;
IcannothavesogreatashareofshameButwhatIhavedeservedagreaterstill。
ORGON(tohson)
Youmcreant,canyoudare,withsuchafalsehood,Totrytostainthewhitenessofhvirtue?
DAM
What!ThefeignedmeeknessofthhypocriteMakesyoudcredit
ORGON
Silence,cursedplague!
TARTUFFE
Ah!Lethimspeak;youchidehimwrongfully;
You’ddofarbettertobelievehtales。
Whyfavourmesomuchinsuchamatter?
HowcanyouknowofwhatI’mcapable?
Andshouldyoutrustmyoutwardsemblance,brother,OrjudgetherefromthatI’mthebetterman?
No,no;youletappearancesdeceiveyou;
I’manythingbutwhatI’mthoughttobe,Alas!andthoughallmenbelievemegodly,Thesimpletruth,I’maworthlesscreature。
(ToDam)
Yes,mydearson,sayon,andcallmetraitor,Abandonedscoundrel,thief,andmurderer;
Heaponmenamesyetmoredetestable,AndIshallnotgainsayyou;I’vedeservedthem;
I’llbearthignominyonmyknees,ToexpiateinshamethecrimesI’vedone。
ORGON(toTartuffe)
Ah,brother,’ttoomuch!
(Tohson)
You’llnotrelent,Youblackguard?
DAM
What!Htalkcansodeceiveyou
ORGON
Silence,youscoundrel!
(ToTartuffe)
Brother,re,Ibegyou。
(Tohson)
Infamousvillain!
DAM
Canhe
ORGON
Silence!
DAM
What
ORGON
Anotherword,I’llbreakyoureverybone。
TARTUFFE
Brother,inGod’sname,don’tbeangrywithhim!
I’dratherbearmyselfthebitteresttortureThanhavehimgetascratchonmyaccount。
ORGON(tohson)
Ungratefulmonster!
TARTUFFE
Stop。UponmykneesIbegyoupardonhim
ORGON(throwinghimselfonhkneestoo,andembracingTartuffe)
Alas!Howcanyou?
(Tohson)
Villain!Beholdhgoodness!
DAM
So
ORGON
Bestill。
DAM
What!I
ORGON
Bestill,Isay。IknowyourmotivesForthattack。Youhatehim,allofyou;
Wife,children,servants,allletlooseuponhim,YouhaverecoursetoeveryshamefultrickTodrivethgodlymanoutofmyhouse;
Themoreyoustrivetoridyourselvesofhim,ThemoreI’llstrivetomakehimstaywithme;
I’llhavehimstraightwaymarriedtomydaughter,Justtoconfoundtheprideofallofyou。
DAM
What!Willyouforcehertoaccepthhand?
ORGON
Yes,andthveryevening,toenrageyou,Youngrascal!Ah!I’llbraveyouall,andshowyouThatI’mthemaster,andmustbeobeyed。
Now,downuponyourkneesthinstant,rogue,Andtakebackwhatyousaid,andaskhpardon。
DAM
Who?I?Askpardonofthatcheatingscoundrel?
ORGON
Doyourest,youbeggar,andinsulthim?
Acudgel,here!acudgel!
(ToTartuffe)
Don’trestrainme。
(Tohson)
Offwithyou!Leavemyhousethinstant,sirrah,Andneverdaresetfootinitagain。
DAM
Yes,Iwillleaveyourhouse,but
ORGON
Leaveitquickly。
Youreprobate,Idinherityou,Andgiveyou,too,mycurseintothebargain。
SCENEVII
ORGON,TARTUFFE
ORGON
What!SoinsultasaintlymanofGod!
TARTUFFE
Heaven,forgivehimallthepainhegivesme![4]
[Footnote4:Somemoderneditionshaveadoptedthereading,preservedbytraditionasthatoftheearlieststageversion:Heaven,forgivehimevenasIforgivehim!Voltairegivesstillanotherreading:
Heaven,forgivemeevenasIforgivehim!Whicheverwastheoriginalversion,itappearsinnoneoftheearlyeditions,andMoliereprobablyfeltforcedtochangeitonaccountofitstoocloseresemblancetotheBiblicalphrase。]
(ToOrgon)
CouldyoubutknowwithwhatdtressIseeThemtrytovilifymetomybrother!
ORGON
Ah!
TARTUFFE
ThemerethoughtofsuchingratitudeMakesmysoulsuffertorture,bitterly
MyhorroratitAh!myheart’ssofullIcannotspeakIthinkI’lldieofit。
ORGON(intears,runningtothedoorthroughwhichhedroveawayhson)
Scoundrel!IwhI’dneverletyougo,Butslainyouonthespotwithmyownhand。
(ToTartuffe)
Brother,composeyourself,anddon’tbeangry。
TARTUFFE
Nay,brother,letusendthesepainfulquarrels。
IseewhattroubloustimesIbringuponyou,Andthink’tneedfulthatIleavethhouse。
ORGON
What!Youcan’tmeanit?
TARTUFFE
Yes,theyhatemehere,Andtry,Ifind,tomakeyoudoubtmyfaith。
ORGON
Whatofit?DoyoufindIltentothem?
TARTUFFE
Nodoubttheywon’tstopthere。ThesesamereportsYounowreject,maysomedaywinahearing。
ORGON
No,brother,never。
TARTUFFE
Ah!myfriend,awomanMayeasilymleadherhusband’smind。
ORGON
No,no。
TARTUFFE
SoletmequicklygoawayAndthusremoveallcauseforsuchattacks。
ORGON
No,youshallstay;mylifedependsuponit。
TARTUFFE
ThenImustmortifymyself。Andyet,Ifyoushouldwh
ORGON
No,never!
TARTUFFE
Verywell,then;
Nomoreofthat。ButIshallrulemyconductTofitthecase。Honourdelicate,Andfriendshipbindsmetoforestallsuspicion,Preventallscandal,andavoidyourwife。
ORGON
No,youshallhaunther,justtospitethemall。
’Tmydelighttosettheminarage;
YoushallbeseentogetheratallhoursAndwhatmore,thebettertodefythem,I’llhavenootherheirbutyou;andstraightwayI’llgoandmakeadeedofgifttoyou,Drawnindueform,ofallmyproperty。
Agoodtruefriend,myson—in—lawtobe,moretomethanson,andwife,andkindred。
Youwillacceptmyoffer,willyounot?
TARTUFFE
Heaven’swillbedoneineverything!
ORGON
Poorman!
We’llgomakehastetodrawthedeedaright,Andthenletenvyburstitselfwithspite!
ACTIV
SCENEI
CLEANTE,TARTUFFE
CLEANTE
Yes,it’sbecomethetalkofallthetown,Andmakeastirthat’sscarcelytoyourcredit;
AndIhavemetyou,sir,mostopportunely,Totellyouinawordmyfrankopinion。
Nottosiftoutthscandaltothebottom,Supposetheworstforus——supposeDamActedthetraitor,andaccusedyoufalsely;
ShouldnotaChrtianpardonthoffence,Andstifleinhheartallwhforvengeance?
Shouldyoupermitthat,foryourpettyquarrel,Asonbedrivenfromhfather’shouse?
Itellyouyetagain,andtellyoufrankly,Everyone,highorlow,scandaled;
Ifyou’lltakemyadvice,you’llmakeitup,Andnotpushmatterstoextremities。
MakesacrificetoGodofyourresentment;
Restorethesontofavourwithhfather。
TARTUFFE
Alas!SofarasI’mconcerned,howgladlyWouldIdoso!Ibearhimnoillwill;
Ipardonall,laynothingtohcharge,AndwhwithallmyheartthatImightservehim;
ButHeaven’sinterestscannotallowit;
Ifhereturns,thenImustleavethehouse。
Afterhconduct,quiteunparalleled,Allintercoursebetweenuswouldbringscandal;
Godknowswhateveryone’sfirstthoughtwouldbe!
TheywouldattributeittomerestschemingOnmypart——saythatconsciousofmyguiltIfeignedaChrtianloveformyaccuser,Butfearedhiminmyheart,andhopedtowinhimAndunderhandedlysecurehsilence。
CLEANTE
Youtrytoputusoffwithspeciousphrases;
Butallyourargumentsaretoofar—fetched。
WhytakeuponyourselfthecauseofHeaven?
DoesHeavenneedourhelptopunhsinners?
Leavetoitselfthecareofitsownvengeance,Andkeepinmindthepardonitcommandsus;
Besides,thinksomewhatlessofmen’sopinions,WhenyouarefollowingthewillofHeaven。
ShallpettyfearofwhattheworldmaythinkPreventthedoingofanobledeed?
No!——letusalwaysdoasHeavencommands,Andnotperplexourbrainswithfurtherquestions。
TARTUFFE
AlreadyIhavetoldyouIforgivehim;
Andthatdoing,sir,asHeavencommands。
Butafterthday’sscandalandaffrontHeavendoesnotordermetolivewithhim。
CLEANTE
AnddoesitorderyoutolendyourearTowhatmerewhimsuggestedtohfather,Andtoacceptgiftofhestates,Onwhich,injustice,youcanmakenoclaim?
TARTUFFE
Noonewhoknowsme,sir,canhavethethoughtThatIamactingfromaselfhmotive。
Thegoodsofthworldhavenocharmsforme;
Iamnotdazzledbytheirtreacherousglamour;
AndifIbringmyselftotakethegiftWhichheinstsongivingme,Idoso,Totellthetruth,onlybecauseIfearThwholeestatemayfallintobadhands,AndthosetowhomitcomesmayuseitillAndnotemployit,asmydesign,ForHeaven’sgloryandmyneighbours’good。
CLEANTE
Eh,sir,giveuptheseconscientiousscruplesThatwellmaycausearightfulheir’scomplaints。
Don’ttakesomuchuponyourself,butlethimPossesswhat’sh,athownrkandperil;
Consider,itwerebetterhemusedit,Thanyoushouldbeaccusedofrobbinghim。
IamastoundedthatunblushinglyYoucouldallowsuchofferstobemade!
Tellme——hastruereligionanymaximThatteachesustorobthelawfulheir?
IfHeavenhasmadeitquiteimpossibleDamandyoushouldlivetogetherhere,WereitnotbetteryoushouldquietlyAndhonourablywithdraw,thanletthesonBedrivenoutforyoursake,deadagainstAllreason?’Twouldbegiving,sir,believeme,Suchanexampleofyourprobity
TARTUFFE
Sir,ithalf—pastthree;certaindevotionsRecallmetomycloset;you’llforgivemeForleavingyousosoon。
CLEANTE(alone)
Ah!
SCENEII
ELMIRE,MARIANE,CLEANTE,DORINE
DORINE(toCleante)
Sir,webegyouTohelpusallyoucaninherbehalf;
She’ssufferingalmostmorethanheartcanbear;
Thmatchherfathermeanstomaketo—nightDriveshereachmomenttodespair。He’scoming。
Letusuniteoureffortsnow,webegyou,Andtrybystrengthorskilltochangehpurpose。
SCENEIII
ORGON,ELMIRE,MARIANE,CLEANTE,DORINE
ORGON
Soho!I’mgladtofindyoualltogether。
(ToMariane)
Herethecontractthatshallmakeyouhappy,Mydear。Youknowalreadywhatitmeans。
MARIANE(onherkneesbeforeOrgon)
Father,Ibegyou,inthenameofHeavenThatknowsmygrief,andbywhate’ercanmoveyou,Relaxalittleyourpaternalrights,Andfreemylovefromthobedience!
Oh,donotmakeme,byyourharshcommand,ComplaintoHeavenyoueverweremyfather;
Donotmakewretchedthpoorlifeyougaveme。
If,crossingthatfondhopewhichIhadformed,You’llnotpermitmetobelongtooneWhomIhavedaredtolove,atleast,IbegyouUponmyknees,oh,savemefromthetormentOfbeingpossessedbyonewhomIabhor!
AnddonotdrivemetosomedesperateactByexercingallyourrightsuponme。
ORGON(alittletouched)
Come,come,myheart,befirm!nohumanweakness!
MARIANE
Iamnotjealousofyourloveforhim;
Dplayitfreely;givehimyourestate,Andifthat’snotenough,addallofmine;
Iwillinglyagree,andgiveitup,Ifonlyyou’llnotgivehimme,yourdaughter;
Oh,ratherletaconvent’srigidruleWearoutthewretcheddaysthatHeavenallotsme。
ORGON
Thesegirlsareninnies!——alwaysturningnunsWhenfathersthwarttheirsillylove—affairs。
Getonyourfeet!Themoreyouhatetohavehim,Themore’twillhelpyouearnyoursoul’ssalvation。
So,mortifyyoursensesbythmarriage,Anddon’tvexmeaboutitanymore。
DORINE
Butwhat?
ORGON
Youholdyourtongue,beforeyourbetters。
Don’tdaretosayasingleword,Itellyou。
CLEANTE
Ifyouwillletmeanswer,andadve
ORGON
Brother,Ivalueyouradvicemosthighly;
’Twellthoughtout;nobettercanbehad;
Butyou’llallowme——nottofollowit。
ELMIRE(toherhusband)
Ican’tfindwordstocopewithsuchacase;
Yourblindnessmakesmequiteastoundedatyou。
Youarebewitchedwithhim,todbelieveThethingswetellyouhappenedhereto—day。
ORGON
Iamyourhumbleservant,andcanseeThings,whenthey’replainasnosesonfolks’faces,Iknowyou’repartialtomyrascalson,Anddidn’tdaretodavowthetrickHetriedtoplayonthpoorman;besides,Youweretoocalm,tobebelieved;ifthatHadhappened,you’dhavebeenfarmoredturbed。
ELMIRE
AndmustourhonouralwaysrushtoarmsAtthemerementionofillicitlove?
OrcanweanswernoattackuponitExceptwithblazingeyesandlipsofscorn?
Formypart,Ijustlaughawaysuchnonsense;
I’venodesiretomakealoudto—do。
Ourvirtueshould,Ithink,begentle—natured;
NorcanIquiteapprovethosesavageprudesWhosehonourarmsitselfwithteethandclawsTotearmen’seyesoutattheslightestword。
Heavenpreservemefromthatkindofhonour!
Ilikemyvirtuenottobeavixen,AndIbelieveaquietcoldrebuffNolesseffectivetorepulsealover。
ORGON
Iknowandyoucan’tthrowmeoffthescent。
ELMIRE
Oncemore,Iamastoundedatyourweakness;
Iwonderwhatyourunbeliefwouldanswer,IfIshouldletyouseewe’vetoldthetruth?
ORGON
Seeit?
ELMIRE
Yes。
ORGON
Nonsense。
ELMIRE
Come!IfIshouldfindAwaytomakeyouseeitclearasday?
ORGON
Allrubbh。
ELMIRE
Whataman!Butanswerme。
I’mnotproposingnowthatyoubelieveus;
Butlet’ssupposethathere,fromproperhiding,Youshouldbemadetoseeandhearallplainly;
Whatwouldyousaythen,toyourmanofvirtue?
ORGON
Why,then,I’dsaysaynothing。Itcan’tbe。
ELMIRE
Yourerrorhasenduredtoolongalready,Andquitetoolongyou’vebrandedmealiar。
Imustatonce,formyownsatfaction,Makeyouawitnessofthethingswe’vetoldyou。
ORGON
Amen!Itakeyouatyourword。We’llseeWhattricksyouhave,andhowyou’llkeepyourprome。
ELMIRE(toDorine)
Sendhimtome。
DORINE(toElmire)
Theman’sacraftycodger,Perhapsyou’llfinditdifficulttocatchhim。
ELMIRE(toDorine)
Ohno!Alover’sneverhardtocheat,Andself—conceitleadsstraighttoself—deceit。
Bidhimcomedowntome。
(ToCleanteandMariane)
Andyou,withdraw。
SCENEIV
ELMIRE,ORGON
ELMIRE
Bringupthtable,andgetunderit。
ORGON
What?
ELMIRE
Oneessentialtohideyouwell。
ORGON
Whyunderthere?
ELMIRE
Oh,dear!DoasIsay;
IknowwhatI’mabout,asyoushallsee。
Getunder,now,Itellyou;andoncethereBecarefulnooneeitherseesorhearsyou。
ORGON
I’mgoingalongwaytohumouryou,Imustsay;butI’llseeyouthroughyourscheme。
ELMIRE
Andthenyou’llhave,Ithink,nomoretosay。
(Toherhusband,whonowunderthetable。)
Butmind,I’mgoingtomeddlewithstrangematters;
Prepareyourselftobeinnoweshocked。
WhateverImaysaymustpass,because’Tonlytoconvinceyou,asIpromed。
Bywheedlingspeeches,sinceI’mforcedtodoit,I’llmakethhypocriteputoffhmask,Flatterthelongingsofhshamelesspassion,Andgivefreeplaytoallhimpudence。
But,since’tforyoursake,toprovetoyouHguilt,thatIshallfeigntosharehlove,Icanleaveoffassoonasyou’reconvinced,Andthingsshallgonofartherthanyouchoose。
So,whenyouthinkthey’vegonequitefarenough,Itforyoutostophmadpursuit,Tospareyourwife,andnotexposemefartherThanyoushallneed,yourself,toundeceiveyou。
Ityourownaffair,andyoumustenditWhenHerehecomes。Keepstill,don’tshowyourself。
SCENEV
TARTUFFE,ELMIRE;ORGON(underthetable)
TARTUFFE
Theytoldmethatyouwhedtoseemehere。
ELMIRE
Yes。Ihavesecretsforyourearalone。
Butshutthedoorfirst,andlookeverywhereForfearofspies。
(Tartuffegoesandclosesthedoor,andcomesback。)
Wesurelycan’taffordAnotherscenelikethatwehadjustnow;
Waseveranyonesocaughtbefore!
DamdidfrightenmemostterriblyOnyouraccount;yousawIdidmybestTobafflehdesign,andcalmhanger。
ButIwassoconfused,IneverthoughtTocontradicthstory;still,thankHeaven,Thingsturnedoutallthebetter,asithappened,Andnowwe’reonanevensaferfooting。
Thehighesteemyou’reheldin,laidthestorm;
Myhusbandcanhavenosuspicionofyou,Andeveninsts,tospitethescandal—mongers,Thatweshallbetogetherconstantly;
Sothathow,withouttherkofblame,Icanbeherelockedupwithyoualone,Andcanrevealtoyoumyheart,perhapsOnlytooreadytoallowyourpassion。
TARTUFFE
Yourwordsaresomewhathardtounderstand,Madam;justnowyouusedadifferentstyle。