WELLWYN。IsthatMegan?
MEGAN。Yus。
WELLWYN。Comein。
[MEGANcomesin。Therefollowsanawkwardsilence,duringwhichWELLWYNturnsupthelight,thengoestotheteatableandpoursoutaglassofteaandrum。]
BERTLEY。[Kindly。]Now,myboy,howisitthatyouandyourwifearelivingapartlikethis?
MEGAN。Idunno。
BERTLEY。Well,ifyoudon’t,noneofusareverylikelyto,arewe?
MEGAN。That’swhatIthought,asIwascomin’along。
WELLWYN。[Twinkling。]Havesometea,Megan?[Handinghimtheglass。]Whatd’youthinkofherpicture?’Tisn’tquitefinished。
MEGAN。[Afterscrutiny。]Iseenherlooklikeit——once。
WELLWYN。Good!Whenwasthat?
MEGAN。[Stoically。]Whenshe’adthemeasles。
[Hedrinks。
WELLWYN。[Ruminating。]Isee——yes。Iquiteseefeverish!
BERTLEY。MydearWELLWYN,letme——[To,MEGAN。]Now,Ihopeyou’rewillingtocometogetheragain,andtomaintainher?
MEGAN。Ifshe’llmaintainme。
BERTLEY。Oh!but——Isee,youmeanyou’reinthesamelineofbusiness?
MEGAN。Yus。
BERTLEY。Andleanoneachother。Quiteso!
MEGAN。Ileanson’ermostly——with’erlooks。
BERTLEY。Indeed!Veryinteresting——that!
MEGAN。Yus。Sometimesshe’lltake’arfacrownoffofatoff。[HelooksatWELLWYN。]
WELLWYN。[Twinkling。]Iapologisetoyou,Megan。
MEGAN。[Withafaintsmile。]Icoulddowithabitmoreofit。
BERTLEY。[Dubiously。]Yes!Yes!Now,myboy,I’veheardyoubetonhorses。
MEGAN。No,Idon’t。
BERTLEY。Playcards,then?Come!Don’tbeafraidtoacknowledgeit。
MEGAN。WhenI’m’ardup——yus。
BERTLEY。Butdon’tyouknowthat’sruination?
MEGAN。Depends。SometimesIwinsalot。
BERTLEY。Youknowthat’snotatallwhatImean。Come,promisemetogiveitup。
MEGAN。Idunnoabahtthat。
BERTLEY。Now,there’sagoodfellow。Makeabigeffortandthrowthehabitoff!
MEGAN。Comesoverme——sameasitmightoveryou。
BERTLEY。Overme!Howdoyoumean,myboy?
MEGAN。[Withalookup。]Totork!
[WELLWYN,turningtothepicture,makesafunnylittlenoise。]
BERTLEY。[Maintaininghisgoodhumour。]Ahit!Butyouforget,youknow,totalk’smybusiness。It’snotyourstogamble。
MEGAN。Youtrysellin’flowers。Ifthatain’ta——gambleBERTLEY。I’mafraidwe’rewanderingalittlefromthepoint。
Husbandandwifeshouldbetogether。Youwerebroughtuptothat。
Yourfatherandmother
MEGAN。Neverwas。
WELLWYN。[Turningfromthepicture。]Thequestionis,Megan:Willyoutakeyourwifehome?She’sagoodlittlesoul。
MEGAN。Sheneverletmeknowit。
[Thereisafeebleknockonthedoor。]
WELLWYN。Well,nowcome。Heresheis!
[Hepointstothedoor,andstandsregardingMEGANwithhisfriendlysmile。]
MEGAN。[Withagleamofresponsiveness。]Imight,perhaps,topleaseyou,sir。
BERTLEY。[Appropriatingthegesture。]Capital,Ithoughtweshouldgetonintime。
MEGAN。Yus。
[WELLWYNopensthedoor。MRS。MEGANandFERRANDarerevealed。
Theyareabouttoenter,butcatchingsightofMEGAN,hesitate。]
BERTLEY。Comein!Comein!
[MRS。MEGANentersstolidly。FERRAND,following,standsapartwithanairofextremedetachment。MEGAN,afteraquickglanceatthemboth,remainsunmoved。Noonehasnoticedthatthedoorofthemodel’sroomhasbeenopened,andthattheunsteadyfigureofoldTIMSONisstandingthere。]
BERTLEY。[AlittleawkwardinthepresenceofFERRAND——totheMEGANS。]Thisbeginsanewchapter。Wewon’timprovetheoccasion。
Noneed。
[MEGAN,turningtowardshiswife,makesheragestureasiftosay:"Here!let’sgetoutofthis!"]
BENTLEY。Yes,yes,you’llliketogethomeatonce——Iknow。[Heholdsuphishandmechanically。]
TIMSON。Iforbidsthebanns。
BERTLEY,[Startled。]Gracious!
TIMSON。[Extremelyunsteady。]Justcauseandimpejiment。There’estands。[HepointstoFERRAND。]Thecrimsonforeigner!Themockin’
jay!
WELLWYN。Timson!
TIMSON。You’reagen’leman——I’maweero’thatbutImustspeakthetruth——[hewaveshishand]an’shamethedevil!
BERTLEY。Isthistherum——?
TIMSON。[Struckbytheword。]I’mateetotaler。
WELLWYN。Timson,Timson!
TIMSON。Seein’asthere’sladiespresent,Iwon’tbeconspicuous。
[Movingaway,andmakingforthedoor,hestrikesagainstthedais,andmountsuponit。]ButwhatIdosay,is:He’snobetterthan’erandshe’sworse。
BERTLEY。Thisisdistressing。
FERRAND。[Calmly。]Onmyhonour,Monsieur!
[TIMSONgrowls。]
WELLWYN。Now,now,Timson!
TIMSON。That’sallright。You’reagen’leman,an’I’magen’leman,butheain’tan’sheain’t。
WELLWYN。Weshallnotbelieveyou。
BERTLEY。No,no;weshallnotbelieveyou。
TIMSON。[Heavily。]Verywell,youdoubtsmyword。Willitmakeanydifference,Guv’nor,ifIspeaksthetruth?
BERTLEY。No,certainlynot——thatis——ofcourse,itwill。
TIMSON。Well,then,Isee’emplainerthanIsee[pointingatBERTLEY]thetwoofyou。
WELLWYN。Bequiet,Timson!
BERTLEY。Notevenherhusbandbelievesyou。
MEGAN。[Suddenly。]Don’tI!
WELLWYN。Come,Megan,youcanseetheoldfellow’sinParadise。
BERTLEY。Doyoucreditsucha——suchanobject?
[HepointsatTIMSON,whoseemsfallingasleep。
MEGAN。Naow!
[Unseenbyanybody,ANNhasreturned。
BERTLEY。Well,then,myboy?
MEGAN。Iseen’emmeself。
BERTLEY。Gracious!Butjustnowyouwerewill
MEGAN。[Sardonically。]Therewasn’tnothingagainstmehonour,then。Nowyou’vetookitawaybetweenyou,cumin’ahtwithitlikethis。Idon’twantnomoreof’er,andI’llwantagooddealmoreof’im;as’e’llsoonfind。
[HejerkshischinatFERRAND,turnsslowlyonhisheel,andgoesoutintothestreet。]
[Therefollowsaprofoundsilence。]
ANN。WhatdidIsay,Daddy?Utter!Allthree。
[Suddenlyalivetoherpresence,theyallturn。
TIMSON。[Wakingupandlookingroundhim。]Well,p’rapsI’dbettergo。
[AssistedbyWELLWYNhelurchesgingerlyoffthedaistowardsthedoor,whichWELLWYNholdsopenforhim。
TIMSON。[Mechanically。]Whereto,sir?
[Receivingnoanswerhepassesout,touchinghishat;andthedoorisclosed。]
WELLWYN。Ann!
[ANNgoesbackwhenceshecame。]
[BERTLEY,steadilyregardingMRS。MEGAN,whohasputherarmupinfrontofherface,beckonstoFERRAND,andtheyoungmancomesgravelyforward。]
BERTLEY。Youngpeople,thisisverydreadful。[MRS。MEGANlowersherarmalittle,andlooksathimoverit。]Verysad!
MRS。MEGAN。[Droppingherarm。]Megan’snobetterthanwhatIam。
BERTLEY。Come,come!Here’syourhomebrokenup![MRS。MEGAN
Smiles。Shakinghisheadgravely。]Surely—surely—youmustn’tsmile。[MRS。MEGANbecomestragic。]That’sbetter。Now,whatistobedone?
FERRAND。Believeme,Monsieur,Igreatlyregret。
BERTLEY。I’mgladtohearit。
FERRAND。IfIhadforeseenthisdisaster。
BERTLEY。Isthatyouronlyreasonforregret?
FERRAND。[Withalittlebow。]Anyreasonthatyouwish,Monsieur。
Iwilldomypossible。
MRS。MEGAN。Icouldgetanunfurnishedroomif[sheslideshereyesroundatWELLWYNI’adthemoneytofurnishit。
BERTLEY。ButsupposeIcaninduceyourhusbandtoforgiveyou,andtakeyouback?
MRS。MEGAN。[Shakingherhead。]’E’d’itme。
BERTLEY。Isaidtoforgive。
MRS。MEGAN。Thatwouldn’tmakenodifference。[WithaflashatBERTLEY。]An’Iain’tforgivenhim!
BERTLEY。Thatissinful。
MRS。MEGAN。I’maCatholic。
BERTLEY。Mygoodchild,whatdifferencedoesthatmake?
FERRAND。Monsieur,ifImightinterpretforher。
[BERTLEYsilenceshimwithagesture。MRS。MEGAN。]
[SlidinghereyestowardsWELLWYN。]IfI’adthemoneytobuysomefreshstock。]
BERTLEY。Yes;yes;nevermindthemoney。WhatIwanttofindinyouboth,isrepentance。
MRS。MEGAN。[Withaflashupathim。]Ican’tgetmelivin’offofrepentin’。
BERTLEY。Now,now!Neversaywhatyouknowtobewrong。
FERRAND。Monsieur,hersoulisverysimple。
BERTLEY。[Severely。]Idonotknow,sir,thatweshallgetanygreatassistancefromyourviews。Infact,onethingiscleartome,shemustdiscontinueyouracquaintanceshipatonce。
FERRAND。Certainly,Monsieur。Wehavenoseriousintentions。
BERTLEY。Allthemoreshametoyou,then!
FERRAND。Monsieur,Iseeperfectlyyourpointofview。Itisverynatural。[Hebowsandissilent。]
MRS。MEGAN。Idon’twant’imhurt’coso’me。Megan’llgethismatestobelthim——bein’foreignlikeheis。
BERTLEY。Yes,nevermindthat。It’syouI’mthinkingof。
MRS。MEGAN。I’dsoonerthey’dhitme。
WELLWYN。[Suddenly。]Wellsaid,mychild!
MRS。MEGAN。’Twasn’thisfault。
FERRAND。[Withoutirony——toWELLWYN。]IcannotacceptthatMonsieur。Theblame——itisallmine。
ANN。[Enteringsuddenlyfromthehouse。]Daddy,they’rehavinganawful!
[ThevoicesofPROFESSORCALWAYandSIRTHOMASHOXTONaredistinctlyheard。]
CALWAY。Thequestionisamuchwiderone,SirThomas。
HOXTON。Aswideasyoulike,you’llnever
[WELLWYNpushesANNbackintothehouseandclosesthedoorbehindher。Thevoicesarestillfaintlyheardarguingonthethreshold。]
BERTLEY。Letmegoinhereaminute,Wellyn。Imustfinishspeakingtoher。[HemotionsMRS。MEGANtowardsthemodel’sroom。]
Wecan’tleavethematterthus。]
FERRAND。[Suavely。]Doyoudesiremycompany,Monsieur?
[BERTLEY,withaprohibitivegestureofhishand,shepherdsthereluctantMRS。MEGANintothemodel’sroom。]
WELLWYN。[Sorrowfully。]Youshouldn’thavedonethis,Ferrand。Itwasn’tthesquarething。
FERRAND。[Withdignity。]Monsieur,IfeelthatIaminthewrong。
Itwasstrongerthanme。
[Ashespeaks,SIRTHOMASHOXTONandPROFESSORCALWAYenterfromthehouse。Inthedimlight,andthefullcryofargument,theydonotnoticethefiguresatthefire。SIR
THOMASHOXTONleadstowardsthestreetdoor。]
HOXTON。No,Sir,Irepeat,ifthecountryoncecommitsitselftoyourviewsofreform,it’sasgoodasdoomed。
CALWAY。Iseemtohaveheardthatbefore,SirThomas。Andletmesayatoncethatyourhitty—missycart—loadofbricksregime
HOXTON。Isadeucedsightbetter,sir,thanyourgrand—motherlymethods。Whattheoldfellowwantsisashock!Withallthissocialisticmolly—coddling,you’relosingsightoftheindividual。
CALWAY。[Swiftly。]You,sir,withyour"deviltakethehindmost,"
haveneverevenseenhim。
[SIRTHOMASHOXTON,throwingbackagestureofdisgust,stepsoutintothenight,andfallsheavilyPROFESSORCALWAY,hasteningtohisrescue,fallsmoreheavilystill。]
[TIMSON,momentarilyrousedfromslumberonthedoorstep,sitsup。]
HOXTON。[Strugglingtohisknees。]Damnation!
CALWAY。[Sitting。]Howsimultaneous!
[WELLWYNandFERRANDapproachhastily。]
FERRAND。[PointingtoTIMSON。]Monsieur,itwastrue,itseems。
Theyhadlostsightoftheindividual。
[APolicemanhasappearedunderthestreetlamp。HepicksupHOXTON’Shat。]
CONSTABLE。Anythingwrong,sir?
HOXTON。[Recoveringhisfeet。]Wrong?GreatScott!Constable!
Whydoyouletthingslieaboutinthestreetlikethis?Lookhere,Wellyn!
[TheyallscrutinizeTIMSON。]
WELLWYN。It’sonlytheoldfellowwhosereformyouwerediscussing。
HOXTON。Howdidhecomehere?
CONSTABLE。Drunk,sir。[AscertainingTIMSONtobeinthestreet。]
Justoffthepremises,bygoodluck。Comealong,father。
TIMSON。[Assistedtohisfeet—drowsily。]Cert’nly,bynomeans;
takemyarm。
[Theymovefromthedoorway。HOXTONandCALWAYre—enter,andgotowardsthefire。]
ANN。[Enteringfromthehouse。]What’shappened?
CALWAY。Mightwehaveabrush?
HOXTON。[Testily。]Letitdry!
[Hemovestothefireandstandsbeforeit。PROFESSORCALWAY
followingstandsalittlebehindhim。ANNreturningbeginstobrushthePROFESSOR’ssleeve。]
WELLWYN。[Turningfromthedoor,wherehehasstoodlookingaftertherecedingTIMSON。]PooroldTimson!
FERRAND。[Softly。]Mustbephilosopher,Monsieur!Theywillbutrunhiminalittle。
[Fromthemodel’sroomMRS。MEGANhascomeout,shepherdedbyCANONBERTLEY。
BERTLEY。Let’ssee,yourChristiannameis。
MRS。MEGAN。Guinevere。
BERTLEY。Oh!Ah!Ah!Ann,takeGui—takeourlittlefriendintothestudyaminute:Iamgoingtoputherintoservice。Weshallmakeanewwomanofher,yet。
ANN。[HandingCANONBERTLEYthebrush,andturningtoMRS。MEGAN。]
Comeon!
[Sheleadsintothehouse,andMRS。MEGANfollowsStolidly。]
BERTLEY。[BrushingCALWAY’Sback。]Haveyoufallen?
CALWAY。Yes。
BERTLEY。Dearme!Howwasthat?
HOXTON。Thatoldruffiandrunkonthedoorstep。Hopethey’llgivehimasharpdose!Theserag—tags!
[Helooksround,andhisangryeyeslightbychanceonFERRAND。
FERRAND。[WithhiseyesonHOXTON——softly。]Monsieur,somethingtellsmeitistimeItooktheroadagain。
WELLWYN。[Fumblingoutasovereign。]Takethis,then!
FERRAND。[Refusingthecoin。]Non,Monsieur。Toabuse’ospitalityisnotinmycharacter。
BERTLEY。Wemustnotdespairofanyone。
HOXTON。Whotalkedofdespairing?Treathim,asIsay,andyou’llsee!
CALWAY。TheinterestoftheState
HOXTON。Theinterestoftheindividualcitizensir
BERTLEY。Come!Alittleofboth,alittleofboth!
[Theyresumetheirbrushing。]
FERRAND。Youarenowdebarrassedofusthree,Monsieur。Ileaveyouinstead——thesesirs。[Hepoints。]’Aurevoir,Monsieur’!
[Motioningtowardsthefire。]’AppyNewYear!
[Heslipsquietlyout。WELLWYN,turning,contemplatesthethreereformers。Theyareallnowbrushingaway,scratchingeachother’sbacks,andgravelyhissing。Asheapproachesthem,theyspeakwithacertainunanimity。
HOXTON。Mytheory!
CALWAY。Mytheory!
BERTLEY。Mytheory!
[Theystopsurprised。WELLWYNmakesagestureofdiscomfort,astheyspeakagainwithstillmoreunanimity。
HOXTON。My!CALWAY。My!BERTLEY。My!
[Theystopingreatersurprise。Thestageisblotteddark。]
Curtain。
ACTIII
ItisthefirstofApril——awhitespringdayofgleamsanddrivingshowers。ThestreetdoorofWELLWYN’sstudiostandswideopen,and,pastit,inthestreet,thewindiswhirlingbitsofstrawandpaperbags。Throughthedoorcanbeseenthebuttendofastationaryfurniturevanwithitsflapletdown。Tothisvanthreehumble—meninshirtsleevesandaprons,arecarryingoutthecontentsofthestudio。Thehissingsamovar,thetea—pot,thesugar,andthenearlyemptydecanterofrumstandonthelowroundtableinthefast—being—guttedroom。WELLWYNinhisulsterandsofthat,issquattingonthelittlestoolinfrontoftheblazingfire,staringintoit,andsmokingahand—madecigarette。Hehasamoultingair。
Behindhimthehumble—menpass,embracingbustsandotherarticlesofvertu。
CHIEFH’MAN。[Stopping,andstandingintheattitudeofexpectation。]We’veaboutpinchedthislittlelot,sir。Shallwetakethe——reservoir?
[Heindicatesthesamovar。]
WELLWYN。Ah![Abstractedlyfeelinginhispockets,andfindingcoins。]Thanks——thanks——heavywork,I’mafraid。
H’MAN。[Receivingthecoins——alittlesurprisedandagooddealpleased。]Thank’ee,sir。Muchobliged,I’msure。We’ll’avetocomebackforthis。[Hegivesthedaisavigorouspushwithhisfoot。]Notafixture,asIunderstand。Perhapsyou’dlikeustoleavethese’ereforabit。[Heindicatestheteathings。]
WELLWYN。Ah!do。
[Thehumble—mengoout。Thereisthesoundofhorsesbeingstarted,andthebuttendofthevandisappears。WELLWYNstaysonhisstool,smokingandbroodingoverthefare。Theopendoorwayisdarkenedbyafigure。CANONBERTLEYisstandingthere。
BERTLEY。WELLWYN![WELLWYNturnsandrises。]It’sagessinceI
sawyou。Noideayouweremoving。Thisisverydreadful。
WELLWYN。Yes,Annfoundthis——tooexposed。ThattallhouseinFlightStreet——we’regoingthere。Seventhfloor。
BERTLEY。Lift?
[WELLWYNshakeshishead。]
BERTLEY。Dearme!Nolift?Fineview,nodoubt。[WELLWYNnods。]
You’llbegreatlymissed。
WELLWYN。SoAnnthinks。Vicar,what’sbecomeofthatlittleflower—sellerIwaspaintingatChristmas?Youtookherintoservice。
BERTLEY。Notwe——exactly!Somedearfriendsofours。Painfulsubject!
WELLWYN。Oh!
BERTLEY。Yes。Shegotthefootmanintotrouble。
WELLWYN。Didshe,now?
BERTLEY。Disappointing。IconsultedwithCALWAY,andheadvisedmetotryacertaininstitution。Wegothersafelyin——excellentplace;but,d’youknow,shebrokeoutthreeweeksago。Andsince——
I’veheard[heholdshishandsup]hopeless,I’mafraid——quite!
WELLWYN。IthoughtIsawherlastnight。Youcan’ttellmeheraddress,Isuppose?
BERTLEY。[Shakinghishead。]Thehusbandtoohasquitepassedoutofmyken。Hebettedonhorses,youremember。I’msometimestemptedtobelievethere’snothingforsomeofthesepoorfolkbuttoprayfordeath。
[ANNhasenteredfromthehouse。Herhairhangsfromunderaknittedcap。Shewearsawhitewooljersey,andaloosesilkscarf。]
BERTLEY。Ah!Ann。IwastellingyourfatherofthatpoorlittleMrs。Megan。
ANN。Isshedead?
BERTLEY。WorseIfear。Bytheway——whatbecameofheraccomplice?
ANN。Wehaven’tseenhimsince。[ShelookssearchinglyatWELLWYN。]Atleast——haveyou——Daddy?
WELLWYN。[Ratherhurt。]No,mydear;Ihavenot。
BERTLEY。Andthe——oldgentlemanwhodranktherum?
ANN。Hegotfourteendays。Itwasthefifthtime。
BERTLEY。Dearme!
ANN。Whenhecameouthegotmoredrunkthanever。RatherascoreforProfessorCalway,wasn’tit?
BERTLEY。Iremember。HeandSirThomastookakindlyinterestintheoldfellow。
ANN。Yes,theyfelloverhim。TheProfessorgothimintoanInstitution。
BERTLEY。Indeed!
ANN。Hewasperfectlysoberallthetimehewasthere。
WELLWYN。Mydear,theyonlyallowthemmilk。
ANN。Well,anyway,hewasreformed。
WELLWYN。Ye—yes!
ANN。[Terribly。]Daddy!You’vebeenseeinghim!
WELLWYN。[Withdignity。]Mydear,Ihavenot。