DRAMATISPERSONAE。
　　MR。HORACEMILLIKEN，aWidower，awealthyCityMerchant。
　　GEORGEMILLIKEN，aChild，hisSon。
　　CAPTAINTOUCHIT，hisFriend。
　　CLARENCEKICKLEBURY，brothertoMilliken’slateWife。
　　JOHNHOWELL，M’sButlerandconfidentialServant。
　　CHARLESPAGE，Foot—boy。
　　BULKELEY，LadyKicklebury’sServant。
　　MR。BONNINGTON。
　　Coachman，Cabman;aBluecoatBoy，anotherBoy（Mrs。Prior’sSons）。
　　LADYKICKLEBURY，Mother—in—lawtoMilliken。
　　MRS。BONNINGTON，Milliken’sMother（marriedagain）。
　　MRS。PRIOR。
　　MISSPRIOR，herDaughter，GovernesstoMilliken’sChildren。
　　ARABELLAMILLIKEN，aChild。
　　MARYBARLOW，School—roomMaid。
　　Agrown—upGirlandChildofMrs。Prior’s，LadyK。’sMaid，Cook。
　　THEWOLVESANDTHELAMB。
　　ACTI。
　　Scene。——MILLIKEN’SvillaatRichmond;twodrawing—roomsopeningintooneanother。ThelateMRS。MILLIKEN’Sportraitoverthemantel—piece;bookcases，writing—tables，piano，newspapers，ahandsomelyfurnishedsaloon。Theback—roomopens，withverylargewindows，onthelawnandpleasure—ground;gate，andwall——overwhichtheheadsofacabandacarriageareseen，aspersonsarrive。Fruit，andaladderonthewalls。Adoortothedining—
　　room，anothertothesleeping—apartments，&c。
　　JOHN。——Everybodyout;governorinthecity;governess（heigh—ho！）
　　walkingintheParkwiththechildren;ladyshipgoneoutinthecarriage。Let’ssitdownandhavealookatthepapers。ButtonsfetchtheMorningPostoutofLadyKicklebury’sroom。Where’stheDailyNews，sir？
　　PAGE。——Thinkit’sinMilliken’sroom。
　　JOHN。——Milliken！youscoundrel！WhatdoyoumeanbyMilliken？
　　Speakofyouremployerasyourgovernorifyoulike;butnotassimpleMilliken。Confoundyourimpudence！you’llbecallingmeHowellnext。
　　PAGE。——Well！Ididn’tknow。YOUcallhimMilliken。
　　JOHN。——BecauseIknowhim，becauseI’mintimatewithhim，becausethere’snotasecrethehasbutImayhaveitfortheasking;
　　becausethelettersaddressedtoHoraceMilliken，Esq。，mightaswellbeaddressedJohnHowell，Esq。，forIread’em，Iput’emawayanddocket’em，andremember’em。Iknowhisaffairsbetterthanhedoes:hisincometoashilling，payhistradesmen，wearhiscoatsifIlike。ImaycallMr。MillikenwhatIplease;butnotYOU，youlittlescampofaclod—hoppingploughboy。Knowyourstationanddoyourbusiness，oryoudon’twearTHEMbuttonslong，Ipromiseyou。[ExitPage。]
　　Letmegoonwiththepaper[reads]。Howbrilliantthiswritingis！Times，Chronicle，DailyNews，they’reallgood，blestiftheyain’t。Howmuchbetterthenineleadersinthemthreedailypapersis，thanninespeechesintheHouseofCommons！Takeaverybestspeechinthe’Ousenow，andcompareitwithanarticleinTheTimes！Isay，thenewspaperhasthebestofitforphilosophy，forwit，novelty，goodsensetoo。Andthepartythatwritestheleadingarticleisnobody，andthechapthatspeaksintheHouseofCommonsisahero。Lord，Lord，howtheworldis’umbugged！
　　Pop’larrepresentation！whatISpop’larrepresentation？Dammy，it’safarce。Hallo！thisarticleisstole！IrememberapassageinMontesquieuuncommonlylikeit。[Goesandgetsthebook。Asheisstandinguponsofatogetit，andsittingdowntoreadit，MISS
　　PRIORandtheChildrenhavecomeinatthegarden。Childrenpassacrossstage。MISSPRIORentersbyopenwindow，bringingflowersintotheroom。]
　　JOHN。——ItISlikeit。[Heslapsthebook，andseeingMISSPRIOR
　　whoenters，thenjumpsupfromsofa，sayingveryrespectfully，]
　　JOHN。——Ibegyourpardon，Miss。
　　MISSP。——[sarcastically。]DoIdisturbyou，Howell？
　　JOHN。——Disturb！Ihavenorighttosay——aservanthasnorighttobedisturbed，butIhopeImaybepardonedforventuringtolookatavolumeinthelibery，Miss，justinreferencetoanewspaperharticle——that’sall，Miss。
　　MISSP。——Youareveryfortunateinfindinganythingtointerestyouinthepaper，I’msure。
　　JOHN。——Perhaps，Miss，youarenotaccustomedtopoliticaldiscussion，andignorantof——ah——Ibegyourpardon:aservant，Iknow，hasnorighttospeak。[Exitintodining—room，makingalowbow。]
　　MISSPRIOR。——Thecoolnessofsomepeopleisreallyquiteextraordinary！theairstheygivethemselves，thewayinwhichtheyanswerone，thebookstheyread！Montesquieu:"EspritdesLois！"
　　[takesbookupwhichJ。hasleftonsofa。]Ibelievethemanhasactuallytakenthisfromtheshelf。IamsureMr。Milliken，orherladyship，neverwould。Theotherday"Helvetius"wasfoundinMr。
　　Howell’spantry，forsooth！ItiswonderfulhowhepickedupFrenchwhilstwewereabroad。"EspritdesLois！"whatisit？itmustbedreadfullystupid。Andasforreading"Helvetius"（who，Isuppose，wasaRomangeneral），Ireallycan’tunderstandhow——Dear，dear！
　　whatairsthesepersonsgivethemselves！Whatwillcomenext？A
　　footman——IbegMr。Howell’spardon——abutlerandconfidentialvaletlollsonthedrawing—roomsofa，andreadsMontesquieu！Impudence！
　　Andaddtothis，hefollowsmeforthelasttwoorthreemonthswitheyesthatarequitehorrid。Whatcanthecreaturemean？ButIforgot——Iamonlyagoverness。Agovernessisnotalady——agovernessisbutaservant——agovernessistoworkandwalkalldaywiththechildren，dineintheschool—room，andcometothedrawing—roomtoplaythemanofthehousetosleep。Agovernessisadomestic，onlyherplaceisnottheservants’hall，andsheispaidnotquitesowellasthebutlerwhoservesherherglassofwine。Odious！George！Arabella！therearethoselittlewretchesquarrellingagain！[Exit。Childrenareheardcallingout，andseenquarrellingingarden。]
　　JOHN[re—entering]。——Seewhereshemoves！graceisinallhersteps。’Eaveninherhigh——no——a—heaveninherheye，ineverygesturedignityandlove——ah，IwishIcouldsayit！Iwishyoumayprocureit，poorfool！Shepassesbyme——shetr—r—amplesonme。Here’sthechairshesetsin[kissesit。]Here’sthepianosheplayson。Prettykeys，themfingersout—hivoriesyou！Whensheplaysonit，Istandandlistenatthedrawing—roomdoor，andmyheartthr—obsintime！Fool，fool，fool！whydidyoulookonher，JohnHowell！whydidyoubeatforher，busyheart！Youweretranquiltillyouknewher！IthoughtIcouldhavebeena—happywithMarytillthen。Thatgirl’saffectionsoothedme。Herconversationdidn’tamusememuch，herideersain’texactlyelevated，buttheyarejustandproper。Herattentionspleasedme。
　　Sheeverkep’thebestcupofteaforme。Shecrispedmybutteredtoast，ormixedmyquiettumblerforme，asIsatofheveningsandreadmynewspaperinthekitching。Sherespectedthesanctatyofmypantry。WhenIwasa—studyingthere，sheneverinterruptedme。
　　Shedarnedmystockingsforme，shestarchedandfoldedmychokers，andshesowedonthehabsentbuttonsofwhichtimeandchancehadbereftmylinning。Shehasagoodheart，Maryhas。Iknowshe’dgetupandblackthebootsformeofthecoldestwintermornings。
　　Shedidwhenwewasinhumblerlife，shedid。
　　EnterMARY。
　　Youhaveagoodheart，Mary！
　　MARY。——HaveI，dearJohn？[sadly。]
　　JOHN。——Yes，child——yes。Ithinkabetterneverbeatinwoman’sbosom。You’regoodtoeverybody——goodtoyourparentswhomyousendhalfyourwagesto:goodtoyouremployerswhomyouneverrobbedofahalfpenny。
　　MARY[whimpering]。——Yes，Idid，John。Itookthejellywhenyouwereinbedwiththeinfluenza;andbroughtyouthepork—winenegus。
　　JOHN。——Port，notpork，child。PorkisthehanimalwhichJewsab’or。PortisfromOportoinPortugal。
　　MARY[stillcrying]。——Yes，John;youknoweverythinga’most，John。
　　JOHN。——Andyou，poorchild，butlittle！It’snotheartyouwant，youlittletrump，it’seducation，Mary:it’sinformation:it’shead，head，head！Youcan’tlearn。Younevercanlearn。Yourideersain’tnogood。Younevercanhinterchangeemwithmine。
　　Conversationbetweenusisimpossible。It’snotyourfault。Somepeoplearebornclever;someareborntall，Iain’ttall。
　　MARY。——Ho！you’rebigenoughforme，John。[Offerstotakehishand。]
　　JOHN。——Letgomy’and——mya—hand，Mary！Isay，somepeoplearebornwithbrains，andsomewithbigfigures。Lookatthatgreatass，Bulkeley，LadyK。’sman——thebesotted，stupidbeast！He’sasbigasalife—guardsman，butheain’tnomoreeducationnorideersthantheoxhefeedson。
　　MARY。——Law，John，whateverdoyoumean？
　　JOHN。——Hm！youknownot，littleone！younevercanknow。HaveYOU
　　everfeltthepangsofimprisonedgenius？haveYOUeverfeltwhat’tistobeaslave？
　　MARY。——Notinafreecountry，Ishouldhope，JohnHowell——nosuchathing。Aplaceisaplace，andIknowmine，andamcontentwiththespearoflifeinwhichitpleasesheaventoplaceme，John:andIwishyouwere，andrememberedwhatwelearnedfromourparsonwhenwewenttoschooltogetherindearoldPigeoncot，John——whenyouusedtohelplittleMarywithherlessons，John，andfoughtBobBrown，thebigbutcher’sboy，becausehewasrudetome，John，andhegaveyouthatblackhi。
　　JOHN。——Sayeye，Mary，notheye[gently]。
　　MARY。——Eye;andIthoughtyouneverlookedbetterinallyourlifethanyoudidthen:andwebothtookserviceatSquireMilliken’s——
　　measdairy—girl，andyouasknife—boy;andgoodmastershavetheybeentousfromouryouthhup:botholdSquireMillikenandMr。
　　Charlesasismasternow，andpoorMrs。asisdead，thoughshehadhertantrums——andIthoughtweshouldsaveupandtakethe"MillikenArms"——andnowwehavesavedup——andnow，now，now——oh，youareastone，astone，astone！andIwishyouwerehungroundmyneck，andIwereputdownthewell！There’sthehup—stairsbell。[Shestarts，changinghermannerasshehearsthebell，andexit。]
　　JOHN[lookingafterher]。——It’salltrue。Gospel—true。Wewerechildreninthesamevillage——satonthesameformatschool。AnditwasforhersakethatBobBrownthebutcher’sboywhoppedme。A
　　blackeye！I’mnothandsome。ButifIwereugly，uglyastheSaracen’s’Ead，uglyasthatbeastBulkeley，IknowitwouldbeallthesametoMary。SHEhasneverforgottheboysheloved，thatbroughtbirds’—nestsforher，andspenthishalfpennyoncherries，andboughtafairingwithhisfirsthalf—crown——abroochitwas，I
　　remember，oftwobillingdovesa—hoppingononetwig，andbroughtithomeforlittleyellow—haired，blue—eyed，red—cheekedMary。
　　Lord，Lord！Idon’tliketothinkhowI’vekissed’em，theprettycheeks！they’vegotquitepalenowwithcrying——andshehasneveroncereproachedme，notonce，thetrump，thelittletr—rump！
　　Isitmyfault[stamping]thatFatehasseparatedus？WhydidmyyoungmastertakemeuptoOxford，andgivemetherunofhisliberyandthesocietyofthebestscoutsintheUniversity？Whydidhetakemeabroad？WhyhaveIbeentoItaly，France，Jummanywithhim——theirmannersnotedandtheirrealmssurveyed，byjingo！
　　I’veimprovedmyself，andMaryhasremainedasyouwas。Itryaconversation，andshecan’trespond。She’snevergotawordofpoetrybeyondWatt’sIms，andifItalkofByronorMooretoher，I’mblestifsheknowsanythingmoreabout’emthanthecook，whoisashignorantasapig，orthatbeastBulkeley，LadyKick’sfootman。Aboveall，why，whydidIseethewomanuponwhommywretchedheartisfixedforever，andwhocarriesawaymysoulwithher——prostrate，Isay，prostrate，throughthemudattheskirtsofhergownd！Enslaver！whydidIevercomenearyou？OenchantressKelipso！howyouhavegotholdofme！ItwasFate，Fate，Fate。
　　WhenMrs。MillikenfellillofscarletfeveratNaples，MillikenwasawayatPetersborough，Rooshia，lookingafterhisproperty。
　　Herforingwomanfled。Meandthegovernessremainedandnursedherandthechildren。Wenursedthelittleonesoutofthefever。
　　Weburiedtheirmother。WebroughtthechildrenhomeoverHalpandHappenine。Inursed’emallthree。Itended’emallthree，theorphans，andthelovelygu—gu—governess。AtRome，whereshetookill，Iwaitedonher;aswewenttoFlorence，hadwebeenattackedbytwentythousandbrigands，thislittlearmhadcourageforthemall！AndifIlovedthee，Julia，wasIwrong？andifIbaskedinthybeautydayandnight，Julia，amInotaman？andif，beforethisPeri，thisenchantress，thisgazelle，IforgotpoorlittleMaryBarlow，howcouldIhelpit？Isay，howthedoosecouldI
　　helpit？
　　EnterLadyKICKLEBURY，BULKELEYfollowingwithparcelsandaspaniel。
　　LADYK。——Arethechildrenandthegovernesscomehome？
　　JOHN。——Yes，mylady[inaperfectlyalteredtone]。
　　LADYK。——Bulkeley，takethoseparcelstomysitting—room。
　　JOHN。——Getup，oldstoopid。Pushalong，olddaddylonglegs[asidetoBULKELEY]。
　　LADYK。——Doesanyonedinehereto—day，Howell？
　　JOHN。——CaptainTouchit，mylady。
　　LADYK。——He’salwaysdininghere。
　　JOHN。——Mymaster’soldestfriend。
　　LADYK。——Don’ttellme。Hecomesfromhisclub。Hesmellsofsmoke;heisalow，vulgarperson。SendPinhornuptomewhenyougodownstairs。[ExitLadyK。]
　　JOHN。——Iknow。SendPinhorntome，means，Sendmybonnybrownhair，andsendmybeautifulcomplexion，andsendmyfigure——and，O
　　Lord！OLord！whatanoldtigressthatis！WhatanoldHector！
　　HowshedotwistMillikenroundherthumb！He’sborntobebulliedbywomen:andIrememberhimhenpecked——let’ssee，eversince——eversincethetimeofthatlittlegloveressatWoodstock，whosepicterpoorMrs。M。madesuchanoiseaboutwhenshefounditinthelumber—room。Heh！HERpicturewillbegoingintothelumber—roomsomeday。M。mustmarrytogetridofhismother—in—lawandmotheroverhim:nomancanstandit，notM。himself，who’saJobofaman。Isn’the，lookathim！[Ashehasbeenspeaking，thebellhasrung，thePagehasruntothegarden—door，andMILLIKENentersthroughthegarden，ladenwithahamper，band—box，andcricket—
　　bat。]
　　MILLIKEN。——Whywasthecarriagenotsentforme，Howell？Therewasnocabatthestation，andIhavehadtotoilallthewayupthehillwiththeseconfoundedparcelsofmylady’s。
　　JOHN。——Isupposetheshowertookoffallthecabs，sir。WhenDIDamanevergitacabinashower？——orapolicemanatapinch——orafriendwhenyouwantedhim——oranythingattherighttime，sir？
　　MILLIKEN。——But，sir，whydidn’tthecarriagecome，Isay？
　　JOHN。——YOUknow。
　　MILLIKEN。——HowdoyoumeanIknow？confoundyourimpudence！
　　JOHN。——LadyKickleburytookit——yourmother—in—lawtookit——wentouta—visiting——HamCommon，Petersham，Twick’nam——dooseknowswhere。She，andherfootman，andherspan’ldog。
　　MILLIKEN。——Well，sir，supposeherladyshipDIDtakethecarriage？
　　Hasn’tsheaperfectright？Andifthecarriagewasgone，Iwanttoknow，John，whythedevilthepony—chaisewasn’tsentwiththegroom？AmItobringabonnet—boxandahamperoffishinmyownhands，Ishouldliketoknow？
　　JOHN。——Heh！[laughs。]
　　MILLIKEN。——Whydoyougrin，youCheshirecat？
　　JOHN。——Yourmother—in—lawhadthecarriage;andyourmothersentforthepony—chaise。YourPawantedtogoandseetheWicarofPutney。Mr。Bonningtondon’tlikewalkingwhenhecanride。
　　MILLIKEN。——Andwhyshouldn’tMr。Bonningtonride，sir，aslongasthere’sacarriageinmystable？Mr。Bonningtonhashadthegout，sir！Mr。Bonningtonisaclergyman，andmarriedtomymother。HehasEVERYtitletomyrespect。
　　JOHN。——Andtoyourpony—chaise——yes，sir。
　　MILLIKEN。——Andtoeverythinghelikesinthishouse，sir。
　　JOHN。——Whatagoodfellowyouare，sir！You’dgiveyourheadoffyourshoulders，thatyouwould。Isthefishfordinnerto—day？
　　Band—boxformylady，Isuppose，sir？[Looksin]——Turban，feathers，bugles，marabouts，spangles——dooseknowswhat。Yes，it’sforherladyship。[ToPage。]Charles，takethisband—boxtoherladyship’smaid。[Tohismaster。]Whatsaucewouldyoulikewiththeturbot？LobstersauceorHollandaise？Hollandaiseisbest——
　　mostwholesomeforyou。AnybodybesidesCaptainTouchitcomingtodinner？
　　MILLIKEN。——NoonethatIknowof。