FeelingmoreateaseIgavesixsequinstoLaura，onetoeachofherdaughters，andatesomethingformysupper:Ithenlaidmyselfdownononeofthewretchedbedsintheroom。Assoonasthetwoyoungersisterssawmeinbed，theyundressedthemselveswithoutceremony，andtookpossessionofthesecondbedwhichwasclosebymine。Theirinnocentconfidencepleasedme。Theeldestsister，whomostlikelyhadmorepracticalexperience，retiredtotheadjoiningroom；shehadalovertowhomshewassoontobemarried。Thistime，however，I
　　wasnotpossessedwiththeevilspiritofconcupiscence，andI
　　allowedinnocencetosleeppeacefullywithoutattemptinganythingagainstit。
　　EarlythenextmorningLaurawasthebearerofgoodnews。Shecameinwithacheerfulairtoannouncethatthebelovedpatienthadsleptwell，andthatshewasgoingbacksoontogivehersomesoup。Ifeltanalmostmaddeningjoyinlisteningtoher，andIthoughttheoracleofAEsculapiusathousandtimesmorereliablethanthatofApollo。
　　Butitwasnotyettimetoexultinourvictory，formypoorlittlefriendhadtorecoverherstrengthandtomakeupforallthebloodshehadlost；thatcouldbedoneonlybytimeandcarefulnursing。I
　　remainedanotherweekatLaura’shouse，whichIleftonlyaftermydearC————C————hadrequestedmetodosoinaletteroffourpages。
　　Laura，whenIleft，weptforjoyinseeingherselfrewardedbythegiftofallthefinelinenIhadboughtformyC————C————，andherdaughterswereweepinglikewise，mostprobablybecause，duringthetendaysIhadspentnearthem，theyhadnotobtainedasinglekissfromme。
　　AftermyreturntoVenice，Iresumedmyusualhabits；butwithanaturelikeminehowcouldIpossiblyremainsatisfiedwithoutpositivelove？MyonlypleasurewastoreceivealetterfrommydearrecluseeveryWednesday，whoadvisedmetowaitpatientlyratherthantoattemptcarryingheroff。Lauraassuredmethatshehadbecomemorelovelythanever，andIlongedtoseeher。Anopportunityofgratifyingmywishessoonoffereditself，andIdidnotallowittoescape。Therewastobeatakingoftheveil——aceremonywhichalwaysattractsalargenumberofpersons。Onthoseoccasionsthenunsalwaysreceivedagreatmanyvisitors，andIthoughtthattheboarderswerelikelytobeintheparlouronsuchanoccasion。Irannoriskofbeingremarkedanymorethananyotherperson，forIwouldminglewiththecrowd。IthereforewentwithoutsayinganythingaboutittoLaura，andwithoutacquaintingmydearlittlewifeofmyintentions。IthoughtIwouldfall，sogreatwasmyemotion，whenI
　　sawherwithinfouryardsfromme，andlookingatmeasifshehadbeeninanecstaticstate。Ithoughthertallerandmorewomanly，andshecertainlyseemedtomemorebeautifulthanbefore。Isawnoonebuther；shenevertookhereyesoffme，andIwasthelasttoleavethatplacewhichonthatdaystruckmeasbeingthetempleofhappiness。
　　ThreedaysafterwardsIreceivedaletterfromher。Shepaintedwithsuchvividcoloursthehappinessshehadfeltinseeingme，thatI
　　madeupmymindtogiveherthatpleasureasoftenasIcould。
　　IansweredatoncethatIwouldattendmasseverySundayatthechurchofherconvent。Itcostmenothing:Icouldnotseeher，butIknewthatshesawmeherself，andherhappinessmademeperfectlyhappy。Ihadnothingtofear，foritwasalmostimpossiblethatanyonecouldrecognizemeinthechurchwhichwasattendedonlybythepeopleofMuran。
　　Afterhearingtwoorthreemasses，Iusedtotakeagondola，thegondolierofwhichcouldnotfeelanycuriosityaboutme。YetIkeptonmyguard，forIknewthatthefatherofC————C————wantedhertoforgetme，andIhadnodoubthewouldhavetakenheraway，Godknewwhereifhehadhadtheslightestsuspicionofmybeingacquaintedwiththeplacewherehehadconfinedher。
　　ThusIwasreasoninginmyfeartoloseallopportunityofcorrespondingwithmydearC————C————，butIdidnotyetknowthedispositionandtheshrewdnessofthesainteddaughtersoftheLord。
　　Ididnotsupposethattherewasanythingremarkableinmyperson，atleastfortheinmatesofaconvent；butIwasyetanovicerespectingthecuriosityofwomen，andparticularlyofunoccupiedhearts；Ihadsoonoccasiontobeconvinced。
　　IhadexecutedmySundaymanoeuveringonlyforamonthorfiveweeks，whenmydearC————C————wrotemejestinglythatIhadbecomealivingenigmaforalltheconvent，boardersandnuns，notevenexceptingtheoldones。Theyallexpectedmeanxiously；theywarnedeachotherofmyarrival，andwatchedmetakingtheholywater。TheyremarkedthatInevercastaglancetowardthegrating，behindwhichwerealltheinmatesoftheconvent；thatIneverlookedatanyofthewomencominginorgoingoutofthechurch。TheoldnunssaidthatIwascertainlylabouringundersomedeepsorrow，ofwhichIhadnohopetobecuredexceptthroughtheprotectionoftheHolyVirgin，andtheyoungonesassertedthatIwaseithermelancholyormisanthropic。
　　Mydearwife，whoknewbetterthantheothers，andhadnooccasiontoloseherselfinsuppositions，wasmuchamused，andsheentertainedmebysendingmeafaithfulreportofitall。Iwrotetoherthat，ifshehadanyfearofmybeingrecognizedIwouldceasemySundayvisitstothechurch。SheansweredthatIcouldnotimposeuponheramorecruelprivation，andsheentreatedmetocontinuemyvisits。
　　Ithoughtitwouldbeprudent，however，toabstainfromcallingatLaura’shouse，forfearofthechatteringnunscontrivingtoknowit，anddiscoveringinthatmanneragreatdealmorethanIwishedthemtofindout。Butthatexistencewasliterallyconsumingmebyslowdegrees，andcouldnotlastlong。Besides，Iwasmadetohaveamistress，andtolivehappilywithher。Notknowingwhattodowithmyself，Iwouldgamble，andIalmostinvariablywon；but，inspiteofthat，wearinesshadgotholdofmeandIwasgettingthinnereveryday。
　　WiththefivethousandsequinswhichmypartnerCrocehadwonformeinPaduaIhadfollowedM。Bragadin’sadvice。IhadhiredacasinowhereIheldafarobankinpartnershipwithamatador，whosecuredmeagainstthefraudsofcertainnoblemen——tyrants，withwhomaprivatecitizenisalwayssuretobeinthewronginmydearcountry。
　　OnAllSaints’Day，intheyear1753，justas，afterhearingmass，I
　　wasgoingtostepintoagondolatoreturntoVenice，Isawawoman，somewhatinLaura’sstylewho，passingnearme，lookedatmeanddroppedaletter。Ipickeditup，andthewoman，seeingmeinpossessionoftheepistle，quietlywenton。Theletterhadnoaddress，andthesealrepresentedarunningknot。Isteppedhurriedlyintothegondola，andassoonaswewereintheoffingI
　　broketheseal。Ireadthefollowingwords。
　　"Anun，whoforthelasttwomonthsandahalfhasseenyoueverySundayinthechurchofherconvent，wishestobecomeacquaintedwithyou。Apamphletwhichyouhavelost，andwhichchancehasthrownintoherhands，makesherbelievethatyouspeakFrench；but，ifyoulikeitbetter，youcananswerinItalian，becausewhatshewantsaboveallisaclearandpreciseanswer。Shedoesnotinviteyoutocallforherattheparlouroftheconvent，because，beforeyouplaceyourselfunderthenecessityofspeakingtoher，shewishesyoutoseeher，andforthatpurposeshewillnamealadywhomyoucanaccompanytotheparlour。Thatladyshallnotknowyouandneednotthereforeintroduceyou，incaseyoushouldnotwishtobeknown。
　　"Shouldyounotapproveofthatwaytobecomeacquainted，thenunwillappointacertaincasinoinMuran，inwhichyouwillfindheralone，intheevening，anynightyoumaychoose。Youwillthenbeatlibertyeithertosupwithher，ortoretireafteraninterviewofaquarterofanhour，ifyouhaveanyotherengagements。
　　"WouldyouratherofferherasupperinVenice？Namethenight，thehour，theplaceofappointment，andyouwillseehercomeoutofagondola。Onlybecarefultobetherealone，maskedandwithalantern。
　　"Ifeelcertainthatyouwillanswerme，andthatyouwillguesshowimpatientlyIamwaitingforyourletter。Ientreatyou，therefore，togiveitto—morrowtothesamewomanthroughwhomyouwillreceivemine！youwillfindheronehourbeforenooninthechurchofSt。
　　Cancian，nearthefirstaltarontheright。
　　Recollectthat，ifIdidnotsupposeyouendowedwithanoblesoulandahighmind，Icouldneverhaveresolvedontakingastepwhichmightgiveyouanunfavorableopinionofmycharacter"
　　Thetoneofthatletter，whichIhavecopiedwordbyword，surprisedmeevenmorethantheofferitcontained。Ihadbusinesstoattendto，butIgaveupallengagementstolockmyselfinmyroominordertoanswerit。Suchanapplicationbetokenedanextravagantmind，buttherewasinitacertaindignity，asingularity，whichattractedme。
　　IhadanideathatthewritermightbethesamenunwhotaughtFrenchtoC————C————。Shehadrepresentedherfriendinherlettersashandsome，rich，gallant，andgenerous。Mydearwifehad，perhaps，beenguiltyofsomeindiscretion。Athousandfancieswhirledthroughmybrain，butIwouldentertainonlythosewhichwerefavourabletoaschemehighlypleasingtome。Besides，myyoungfriendhadinformedmethatthenunwhohadgivenherFrenchlessonswasnottheonlyoneintheconventwhospokethatlanguage。Ihadnoreasontosupposethat，ifC————C————hadmadeaconfidanteofherfriend，shewouldhavemadeamysteryofittome。But，forallthat，thenunwhohadwrittentomemightbethebeautifulfriendofmydearlittlewife，andshemightalsoturnouttobeadifferentperson；Ifeltsomewhatpuzzled。Hereis，however，theletterwhichIthoughtIcouldwritewithoutimplicatingmyself:
　　"IanswerinFrench，madam，inthehopethatmyletterwillhavetheclearnessandtheprecisionofwhichyougivemetheexampleinyours。
　　"Thesubjectishighlyinterestingandofthehighestimportance，consideringallthecircumstances。AsImustanswerwithoutknowingthepersontowhomIamwriting，youmustfeel，madam，that，unlessI
　　shouldpossessalargedoseofvanity，Imustfearsomemystification，andmyhonourrequiresthatIshouldkeeponmyguard。
　　"Ifitistruethatthepersonwhohaspennedthatletterisarespectablewoman，whorendersmejusticeinsupposingmeendowedwithfeelingasnobleasherown，shewillfind，Itrust，thatI
　　couldnotanswerinanyotherwaythanIamdoingnow。
　　"Ifyouhavejudgedmeworthy，madam，ofthehonourwhichyoudomebyofferingmeyouracquaintance，althoughyourgoodopinioncanhavebeenformedonlyfrommypersonalappearance，Ifeelitmydutytoobeyyou，eveniftheresultbetoundeceiveyoubyprovingthatI
　　hadunwittinglyledyouintoamistakenappreciationofmyperson。
　　"Ofthethreeproposalswhichyousokindlymadeinyourletter，I
　　darenotacceptanybutthefirst，withtherestrictionsuggestedbyyourpenetratingmind。IwillaccompanytotheparlourofyourconventaladywhoshallnotknowwhoIam，and，consequently，shallhavenooccasiontointroduceme。
　　"Donotjudgetooseverely，madam，thespeciousreasonswhichcompelmenottogiveyoumyname，andreceivemywordofhonourthatI
　　shalllearnyoursonlytorenderyouhomage。Ifyouchoosetospeaktome，Iwillanswerwiththemostprofoundrespect。Permitmetohopethatyouwillcometotheparlouralone。ImaymentionthatI
　　amaVenetian，andperfectlyfree。
　　Theonlyreasonwhichpreventsmefromchoosingoneofthetwootherarrangementsproposedbyyou，eitherofwhichwouldhavesuitedmebetterbecausetheygreatlyhonourme，is，allowmetorepeatit，afearofbeingthevictimofamystification；butthesemodesofmeetingwillnotbelostwhenyouknowmeandwhenIhaveseenyou。
　　Ientreatyoutohavefaithinmyhonour，andtomeasuremypatiencebyyourown。Tomorrow，atthesameplaceandatthesamehour，I
　　shallbeanxiouslyexpectingyouranswer。"
　　Iwenttotheplaceappointed，andhavingmetthefemaleMercuryI
　　gavehermyletterwithasequin，andItoldherthatIwouldcomethenextdayfortheanswer。Wewerebothpunctual。Assoonasshesawme，shehandedmebackthesequinwhichIhadgivenherthedaybefore，andaletter，requestingmetoreaditandtoletherknowwhethershewastowaitforananswer。Hereistheexactcopyoftheletter:
　　"Ibelieve，sir，thatIhavenotbeenmistakeninanything。Likeyou，Idetestuntruthwhenitcanleadtoimportantconsequences，butIthinkitameretriflewhenitcandonoinjurytoanyone。Ofmythreeproposalsyouhavechosentheonewhichdoesthegreatesthonourtoyourintelligence，and，respectingthereasonswhichinduceyoutokeepyourincognito，IhavewrittentheenclosedtotheCountessofS————，whichIrequestyoutoread。Bekindenoughtosealitbeforedeliveryofittoher。Youmaycalluponherwheneverconvenienttoyourself。Shewillnameherownhour，andyouwillaccompanyherhereinhergondola。Thecountesswillnotaskyouanyquestions，andyouneednotgiveheranyexplanation。Therewillbenopresentation；butasyouwillbemadeacquaintedwithmyname，youcanafterwardscallonmehere，masked，wheneveryouplease，andbyusingthenameofthecountess。Inthatwayweshallbecomeacquaintedwithoutthenecessityofdisturbingyou，orofyourlosingatnightsomehourswhichmaybeprecioustoyou。Ihaveinstructedmyservanttowaitforyouranswerincaseyoushouldbeknowntothecountessandobjecttoher。IfyouapproveofthechoiceIhavemadeofher，tellthemessengerthatthereisnoanswer。"
　　AsIwasanentirestrangertothecountess，ItoldthewomanthatI
　　hadnoanswertogive，andsheleftme。
　　Herearethecontentsofthenoteaddressedbythenuntothecountess，andwhichIhadtodelivertoher:
　　"Ibegofyou，mydearfriend，topaymeavisitwhenyouareatleisure，andtoletthemaskedgentleman—bearerofthisnoteknowthehour，sothathecanaccompanyyou。Hewillbepunctual。Farewell。
　　Youwillmuchobligeyourfriend。"
　　Thatletterseemedtomeinformedbyasublimespiritofintrigue；
　　therewasinitanappearanceofdignitywhichcaptivatedme，althoughIfeltconsciousthatIwasplayingthecharacterofamanonwhomafavourseemedtobebestowed。
　　Inherlastletter，mynun，pretendingnottobeanxioustoknowwhoIwas，approvedofmychoice，andfeignedindifferencefornocturnalmeetings；butsheseemedcertainthatafterseeingherIwouldvisither。Iknewverywellwhattothinkofitall，fortheintriguewassuretohaveanamorousissue。Nevertheless，herassurance，orratherconfidence，increasedmycuriosity，andIfeltthatshehadeveryreasontohope，ifshewereyoungandhandsome。Imightverywellhavedelayedtheaffairforafewdays，andhavelearnedfromC—
　　———C————whothatnuncouldbe；but，besidesthebasenessofsuchaproceeding，Iwasafraidofspoilingthegameandrepentingitafterwards。Iwastoldtocallonthecountessatmyconvenience，butitwasbecausethedignityofmynunwouldnotallowhertoshewherselftooimpatient；andshecertainlythoughtthatIwouldmyselfhastentheadventure。Sheseemedtometoodeeplylearnedingallantrytoadmitthepossibilityofherbeinganinexperiencednovice，andIwasafraidofwastingmytime；butImadeupmymindtolaughatmyownexpenseifIhappenedtomeetasuperannuatedfemale。
　　ItisverycertainthatifIhadnotbeenactuatedbycuriosityI
　　shouldnothavegoneonestepfurther，butIwantedtoseethecountenanceofanunwhohadofferedtocometoVenicetosupwithme。Besides，Iwasmuchsurprisedatthelibertyenjoyedbythosesaintedvirgins，andatthefacilitywithwhichtheycouldescapeoutoftheirwalls。
　　Atthreeo’clockIpresentedmyselfbeforethecountessanddeliveredthenote，andsheexpressedawishtoseemethenextdayatthesamehour。Wedroppedabeautifulreverencetooneanother，andparted。
　　Shewasasuperiorwoman，alreadygoingdownthehill，butstillveryhandsome。
　　Thenextmorning，beingSunday，IneednotsaythatItookcaretoattendmassattheconvent，elegantlydressed，andalreadyunfaithful——atleastinidea——tomydearC————C————，forIwasthinkingofbeingseenbythenun，youngorold，ratherthanofshewingmyselftomycharmingwife。
　　IntheafternoonImaskedmyselfagain，andattheappointedtimeI
　　repairedtothehouseofthecountesswhowaswaitingforme。Wewentinatwo—oaredgondola，andreachedtheconventwithouthavingspokenofanythingbuttheweather。Whenwearrivedatthegate，thecountessaskedforM————M————。Iwassurprisedbythatname，forthewomantowhomitbelongedwascelebrated。Wewereshewnintoasmallparlour，andafewminutesafterwardsanuncamein，wentstraighttothegrating，touchedaspring，andmadefoursquaresofthegratingrevolve，whichleftanopeningsufficientlylargetoenablethetwofriendstoembracetheingeniouswindowwasafterwardscarefullyclosed。Theopeningwasatleasteighteenincheswide，andamanofmysizecouldeasilyhavegotthroughit。
　　Thecountesssatoppositethenun，andItookmyseatalittleononesidesoastobeabletoobservequietlyandatmyeaseoneofthemostbeautifulwomenthatitwaspossibletosee。IhadnodoubtwhateverofherbeingthepersonmentionedbymydearC————C————asteachingherFrench。Admirationkeptmeinasortofecstacy，andI
　　neverheardonewordoftheirconversation；thebeautifulnun，farfromspeakingtome，didnotevencondescendtohonourmewithonelook。Shewasabouttwenty—twoortwenty—threeyearsofage，andtheshapeofherfacewasmostbeautiful。Herfigurewasmuchabovetheordinaryheight，hercomplexionratherpale，herappearancenoble，fullofenergy，butatthesametimereservedandmodest；hereyes，largeandfull，wereofalovelyblue；hercountenancewassoftandcheerful；herfinelipsseemedtobreathethemostheavenlyvoluptuousness，andherteethweretworowsofthemostbrilliantenamel。Herhead—dressdidnotallowmetoseeherhair，butifshehadanyIknewbythecolourofhereyebrowsthatitwasofabeautifullightbrown。Herhandandherarm，whichIcouldseeasfarastheelbow，weremagnificent；thechiselofPraxitelesnevercarvedanythingmoregracefullyroundedandplump，Iwasnotsorrytohaverefusedthetworendezvouswhichhadbeenofferedtomebythebeauty，forIwassureofpossessingherinafewdays，anditwasapleasureformetolaymydesiresatherfeet。Ilongedtofindmyselfalonewithhernearthatgrating，andIwouldhaveconsidereditaninsulttoherif，theverynextday，IhadnotcometotellherhowfullyIrenderedtohercharmsthejusticetheydeserved。Shewasfaithfultoherdeterminationnottolookatmeonce，butafterallIwaspleasedwithherreserve。Allatoncethetwofriendsloweredtheirvoices，andoutofdelicacyIwithdrewfurther。Theirprivateconversationlastedaboutaquarterofanhour，duringwhichIpretendedtobeintentlylookingatapainting；
　　thentheykissedoneanotheragainbythesameprocessasatthebeginningoftheinterview；thenunclosedtheopening，turnedherbackonus，anddisappearedwithoutcastingoneglanceinmydirection。
　　AswewereonourwaybacktoVenice，thecountess，tiredperhapsofoursilence，saidtome，withasmile，"M————M————isbeautifulandverywitty。"
　　"Ihaveseenherbeauty，andIbelieveinherwit。"
　　"Shedidnotaddressonewordtoyou。"
　　"Ihadrefusedtobeintroducedtoher，andshepunishedmebypretendingnottoknowthatIwaspresent。"
　　Thecountessmadenoanswer，andwereachedherhousewithoutexchanginganotherword。Atherdooraveryceremoniouscurtesy，withthesewords，"Adieu，sir！"warnedmethatIwasnottogoanyfurther。Ihadnowishtodoso，andwentawaydreamingandwonderingatthesingularityoftheadventure，theendofwhichI
　　longedtosee。
　　EndMEMOIRSOFJACQUESCASANOVAdeSEINGALT1725—1798
　　TOPARISANDPRISON，Volume2c——ConventAffairsTHERAREUNABRIDGEDLONDONEDITIONOF1894TRANSLATEDBYARTHUR
　　MACHENTOWHICHHASBEENADDEDTHECHAPTERSDISCOVERED
　　BYARTHURSYMONS。
　　CONVENTAFFAIRS
　　CHAPTERXVI
　　CountessCoronini——ALover’sPique——Reconciliation——TheFirstMeeting——APhilosophicalParenthesisMybeautifulnunhadnotspokentome，andIwasgladofit，forI
　　wassoastonished，socompletelyunderthespellofherbeauty，thatImighthavegivenheraverypooropinionofmyintelligencebytheramblinganswerswhichIshouldverylikelyhavegiventoherquestions。Iknewhertobecertainthatshehadnottofearthehumiliationofarefusalfromme，butIadmiredhercourageinrunningtheriskofitinherposition。Icouldhardlyunderstandherboldness，andIcouldnotconceivehowshecontrivedtoenjoysomuchliberty。AcasinoatMuran！thepossibilityofgoingtoVenicetosupwithayoungman！Itwasallverysurprising，andIdecidedinmyownmindthatshehadanacknowledgedloverwhosepleasureitwastomakeherhappybysatisfyinghercaprices。Itistruethatsuchathoughtwasratherunpleasanttomypride，buttherewastoomuchpiquancyintheadventure，theheroineofitwastooattractive，formetobestoppedbyanyconsiderations。IsawverywellthatI
　　wastakingthehighroadtobecomeunfaithfultomydearC————C————，orratherthatIwasalreadysointhoughtandwill，butImustconfessthat，inspiteofallmyloveforthatcharmingchild，Ifeltnoqualmsofconscience。Itseemedtomethataninfidelityofthatsort，ifsheeverheardofit，wouldnotdispleaseher，forthatshortexcursiononstrangegroundwouldonlykeepmealiveandingoodconditionforher，becauseitwouldsavemefromthewearinesswhichwassurelykillingme。
　　IhadbeenpresentedtothecelebratedCountessCoroninibyanun，arelativeofM。Dandolo。Thatcountess，whohadbeenveryhandsomeandwasverywitty，havingmadeuphermindtorenouncethepoliticalintrigueswhichhadbeenthestudyofherwholelife，hadsoughtaretreatintheConventofSt。Justine，inthehopeoffindinginthatrefugethecalmwhichshewanted，andwhichherdisgustofsocietyhadrenderednecessarytoher。Asshehadenjoyedaverygreatreputation，shewasstillvisitedattheconventbyalltheforeignambassadorsandbythefirstnoblemenofVenice；insideofthewallsofherconventthecountesswasacquaintedwitheverythingthathappenedinthecity。Shealwaysreceivedmeverykindly，and，treatingmeasayoungman，shetookpleasureingivingme，everytimeIcalledonher，veryagreeablelessonsinmorals。Beingquitecertaintofindoutfromher，withalittlemanoeuvering，somethingconcerningM————M————，IdecidedonpayingheravisitthedayafterIhadseenthebeautifulnun。
　　Thecountessgavemeherusualwelcome，and，afterthethousandnothingswhichitisthecustomtoutterinsocietybeforeanythingworthsayingisspoken，IledtheconversationuptotheconventsofVenice。WespokeofthewitandinfluenceofanuncalledCelsi，who，althoughugly，hadanimmensecrediteverywhereandineverything。WementionedafterwardstheyoungandlovelySisterMichali，whohadtakentheveiltoprovetohermotherthatshewassuperiortoherinintelligenceandwit。Afterspeakingofseveralothernunswhohadthereputationofbeingaddictedtogallantry，I
　　namedM————M————，remarkingthatmostlikelyshedeservedthatreputationlikewise，butthatshewasanenigma。Thecountessansweredwithasmilethatshewasnotanenigmaforeverybody，althoughshewasnecessarilysoformostpeople。
　　"Whatisincomprehensible，"shesaid，"isthecapricethatshetooksuddenlytobecomeanun，beinghandsome，rich，free，well—educated，fullofwit，and，tomyknowledge，aFree—thinker。Shetooktheveilwithoutanyreason，physicalormoral；itwasamerecaprice。"
　　"Doyoubelievehertobehappy，madam？"
　　"Yes，unlessshehasrepentedherdecision，orifshedoesnotrepentitsomeday。Butifevershedoes，Ithinkshewillbewiseenoughnevertosaysotoanyone。"
　　SatisfiedbythemysteriousairofthecountessthatM————M————hadalover，Imadeupmymindnottotroublemyselfaboutit，andhavingputonmymaskIwenttoMuranintheafternoon。WhenIreachedthegateoftheconventIrangthebell，andwithananxiousheartI
　　askedforM————M————inthenameofMadamedeS————。Thesmallparlourbeingclosed，theattendantpointedouttometheoneinwhichIhadtogo。Iwentin，tookoffmymask，andsatdownwaitingformydivinity。
　　Myheartwasbeatingfuriously；Iwaswaitingwithgreatimpatience；
　　yetthatexpectationwasnotwithoutcharm，forIdreadedthebeginningoftheinterview。Anhourpassedprettyrapidly，butI
　　beganthentofindthetimeratherlong，andthinkingthat，perhaps，theattendanthadnotrightlyunderstoodme，Irangthebell，andenquiredwhethernoticeofmyvisithadbeinggiventoSisterM————
　　M————。Avoiceansweredaffirmatively。Itookmyseatagain，andafewminutesafterwardsanold，toothlessnuncameinandinformedmethatSisterM————M————wasengagedforthewholeday。Withoutgivingmetimetoutterasingleword，thewomanlefttheparlour。
　　Thiswasoneofthoseterriblemomentstowhichthemanwhoworshipsattheshrineofthegodofloveisexposed！Theyareindeedcruelmoments；theybringfearfulsorrow，theymaycausedeath。
　　Feelingmyselfdisgraced，myfirstsensationwasuttercontemptformyself，aninwarddespairwhichwasakintorage；thesecondwasdisdainfulindignationagainstthenun，uponwhomIpassedtheseverejudgmentwhichIthoughtshedeserved，andwhichwastheonlywayI
　　hadtosoothemygrief。Suchbehaviourproclaimedhertobethemostimpudentofwomen，andentirelywantingingoodsense；forthetwolettersshehadwrittentomewerequiteenoughtoruinhercharacterifIhadwishedtorevengemyself，andsheevidentlycouldnotexpectanythingelsefromme。Shemusthavebeenmadtosetatdefiancemyrevengefulfeelings，andIshouldcertainlyhavethoughtthatshewasinsaneifIhadnotheardherconversewiththecountess。
　　Time，theysay，bringsgoodcounsel；itcertainlybringscalm，andcoolreflectiongivesluciditytothemind。AtlastIpersuadedmyselfthatwhathadoccurredwasafterallinnowayextraordinary，andthatIwouldcertainlyhaveconsidereditatfirstaverycommonoccurrenceifIhadnotbeendazzledbythewonderfulbeautyofthenun，andblindedbymyownvanity。AsaverynaturalresultIfeltthatIwasatlibertytolaughatmymishap，andthatnobodycouldpossiblyguesswhethermymirthwasgenuineoronlycounterfeit。
　　Sophismissoofficious！
　　But，inspiteofallmyfinearguments，Istillcherishedthethoughtofrevenge；nodebasingelement，however，wastoformpartofit，andbeingdeterminednottoleavethepersonwhohadbeenguiltyofsuchabadpracticaljoketheslightestcauseoftriumph，Ihadthecouragenottoshewanyvexation。Shehadsentwordtomethatshewasengaged；nothingmorenatural；thepartIhadtoplaywastoappearindifferent。"Mostlikelyshewillnotbeengagedanothertime，"Isaidtomyself，"butIdefyhertocatchmeinthesnareagain。ImeantoshewherthatIonlylaughatheruncivilbehaviour。"OfcourseIintendedtosendbackherletters，butnotwithouttheaccompanimentofabillet—doux，thegallantryofwhichwasnot，likelytopleaseher。
　　Theworsepartoftheaffairformewastobecompelledtogotoherchurch；because，supposinghernottobeawareofmygoingthereforC————C————，shemightimaginethattheonlyobjectofmyvisitswastogivehertheopportunityofapologizingforherconductandofappointinganewmeeting。Iwantedhertoentertainnodoubtofmyuttercontemptforherperson，andIfeltcertainthatshehadproposedtheothermeetingsinVeniceandatthecasinoofMuranonlytodeceivememoreeasily。
　　Iwenttobedwithagreatthirstforrevenge，Ifellasleepthinkingofit，andIawokewiththeresolutionofquenchingit。Ibegantowrite，but，asIwishedparticularlythatmylettershouldnotshowthepiqueofthedisappointedlover，Ileftitonmytablewiththeintentionofreadingitagainthenextday。Itprovedausefulprecaution，forwhenIreaditover，twenty—fourhoursafterwards，I
　　founditunworthyofme，andtoreittopieces。Itcontainedsomesentenceswhichsavouredtoomuchofmyweakness，mylove，andmyspite，andwhich，farfromhumiliatingher，wouldonlyhavegivenheroccasiontolaughatme。
　　OntheWednesdayafterIhadwrittentoC————C————thatveryseriousreasonscompelledmetogiveupmyvisitstothechurchofherconvent，Iwroteanotherlettertothenun，butonThursdayithadthesamefateasthefirst，becauseuponasecondperusalIfoundthesamedeficiencies。ItseemedtomethatIhadlostthefacultyofwriting。TendaysafterwardsIfoundoutthatIwastoodeeplyinlovetohavethepowerofexpressingmyselfinanyotherwaythanthroughthefeelingsofmyheart。
　　’Sinceriumestnisivas，quodcunqueinfundisacescit。’
　　ThefaceofM————M————hadmadetoodeepanimpressiononme；
　　nothingcouldpossiblyobliterateitexcepttheall—powerfulinfluenceoftime。
　　InmyridiculouspositionIwassorelytemptedtocomplaintoCountessS————；butIamhappytosayIwasprudentenoughnottocrossthethresholdofherdoor。AtlastIbethoughtmyselfthatthegiddynunwascertainlylabouringunderconstantdread，knowingthatIhadinmypossessionhertwoletters，withwhichIcouldruinherreputationandcausethegreatestinjurytotheconvent，andIsentthembacktoherwiththefollowingnote，afterIhadkeptthemtendays:
　　"Icanassureyou，madam，thatitwasowingonlytoforgetfulnessthatIdidnotreturnyourtwoletterswhichyouwillfindenclosed。
　　Ihaveneverthoughtofbelyingmyownnaturebytakingacowardlyrevengeuponyou，andIforgiveyoumostwillinglythetwogiddyactsofwhichyouhavebeenguilty，whethertheywerecommittedthoughtlesslyorbecauseyouwantedtoenjoyajokeatmyexpense。
　　Nevertheless，youwillallowmetoadviseyounottotreatanyothermaninthesameway，foryoumightmeetwithoneendowedwithlessdelicacy。Iknowyourname，Iknowwhoyouare，butyouneednotbeanxious；itisexactlyasifIdidnotknowit。Youmay，perhaps，carebutlittleformydiscretion，butifitshouldbesoIshouldgreatlypityyou。
　　"YoumaybeawarethatIshallnotshewmyselfagainatyourchurch；
　　butletmeassureyouthatitisnotasacrificeonmypart，andthatIcanattendmassanywhereelse。YetImusttellyouwhyIshallabstainfromfrequentingthechurchofyourconvent。Itisverynaturalformetosupposethattothetwothoughtlessactsofwhichyouhavebeenguilty，youhaveaddedanothernotlessserious，namely，thatofhavingboastedofyourexploitswiththeothernuns，andIdonotwanttobethebuttofyourjokesincellorparlour。
　　Donotthinkmetooridiculousif，inspiteofbeingfiveorsixyearsolderthanyou，Ihavenotthrownoffallfeelingsofself—respect，ortroddenunder，myfeetallreserveandpropriety；inoneword，ifIhavekeptsomeprejudices，thereareafewwhichinmyopinionoughtnevertobeforgotten。Donotdisdain，madam，thelessonwhichItakethelibertytoteachyou，asIreceiveinthekindestspirittheonewhichyouhavegivenme，mostlikelyonlyforthesakeoffun，butbywhichIpromiseyoutoprofitaslongasI
　　live。"
　　Ithoughtthat，consideringallcircumstances，myletterwasaverygenialone；Imadeupmyparcel，putonmymask，andlookedoutforaporterwhocouldhavenoknowledgeofme；Igavehimhalfasequin，andIpromisedhimasmuchmorewhenhecouldassuremethathehadfaithfullydeliveredmyletterattheconventofMuran。Igavehimallthenecessaryinstructions，andcautionedhimtogoawaytheverymomenthehaddeliveredtheletteratthegateoftheconvent，evenifheweretoldtowait。ImustsayherethatmymessengerwasamanfromForli，andthattheForlanesewerethenthemosttrustworthymeninVenice；foroneofthemtobeguiltyofabreachoftrustwasanunheard—ofthing。SuchmenwereformerlytheSavoyards，inParis；
　　buteverythingisgettingworseinthisworld。
　　Iwasbeginningtoforgettheadventure，probablybecauseIthought，rightlyorwrongly，thatIhadputaninsurmountablebarrierbetweenthenunandmyself，when，tendaysafterIhadsentmyletter，asI
　　wascomingoutoftheopera，Imetmymessenger，lanterninhand。
　　Icalledhim，andwithouttakingoffmymaskIaskedhimwhetherheknewme。Helookedatme，eyedmefromheadtofoot，andfinallyansweredthathedidnot。
　　"DidyoufaithfullycarrythemessagetoMuran？"
　　"Ah，sir！Godbepraised！Iamveryhappytoseeyouagain，forI
　　haveanimportantcommunicationtomaketoyou。Itookyourletter，delivereditaccordingtoyourinstructions，andIwentawayassoonasitwasinthehandsoftheattendant，althoughsherequestedmetowait。WhenIreturnedfromMuranIdidnotseeyou，butthatdidnotmatter。Onthefollowingday，oneofmycompanions，whohappenedtobeatthegateoftheconventwhenIdeliveredyourletter，cameearlyinthemorningtotellmetogotoMuran，becausetheattendantwantedparticularlytospeaktome。Iwentthere，andafterwaitingforafewminutesIwasshewnintotheparlour，whereIwaskeptformorethananhourbyanunasbeautifulasthelightofday，whoaskedmeathousandquestionsforthepurposeofascertaining，ifnotwhoyouare，atleastwhereIshouldbelikelytofindyou。YouknowthatIcouldnotgiveheranysatisfactoryinformation。Shethenlefttheparlour，orderingmetowait，andattheendoftwohoursshecamebackwithaletterwhichsheentrustedtomyhands，tellingmethat，ifIsucceededinfindingyououtandinbringingherananswer，shewouldgivemetwosequins。InthemeantimeIwastocallattheconventeveryday，shewhertheletter，andreceivefortysonseverytime。UntilnowIhaveearnedtwentycrowns，butIamafraidtheladywillgettiredofit，andyoucanmakemeearntwosequinsbyansweringaline。"
　　"Whereistheletter？"
　　"Inmyroomunderlockandkey，forIamalwaysafraidoflosingit。"
　　"ThenhowcanIanswer？"
　　"Ifyouwillwaitformehere，youshallhavetheletterinlessthanaquarterofanhour。"
　　"Iwillnotwait，becauseIdonotcareabouttheletter。Buttellmehowyoucouldflatterthenunwiththehopeoffindingmeout？
　　Youarearogue，foritisnotlikelythatshewouldhavetrustedyouwiththeletterifyouhadnotpromisedhertofindme。"
　　"Iamnotarogue，forIhavedonefaithfullywhatyoutoldme；butitistruethatIgaveheradescriptionofyourcoat，yourbuckles，andyourfigure，andIcanassureyouthatforthelasttendaysI
　　haveexaminedallthemaskswhoareaboutyoursize，butinvain。
　　NowIrecognizeyourbuckles，butIdonotthinkyouhavethesamecoat。Alas，sir！itwillnotcostyoumuchtowriteonlyoneline。
　　Bekindenoughtowaitformeinthecoffee—housecloseby。"
　　Icouldnotresistmycuriosityanylonger，andImadeupmymindnottowaitforhimbuttoaccompanyhimasfarashishouse。Ihadonlytowrite，"Ihavereceivedtheletter，"andmycuriositywasgratifiedandtheForlaneseearnedhistwosequins。Icouldafterwardschangemybucklesandmymask，andthussetallenquiriesatdefiance。
　　Ithereforefollowedhimtohisdoor；hewentinandbroughtmetheletter。Itookhimtoaninn，whereIaskedforaroomwithagoodfire，andItoldmymantowait。Ibrokethesealoftheparcel——aratherlargeone，andthefirstpapersthatIsawwerethetwoletterswhichIhadsentbacktoherinordertoallayheranxietyastothepossibleconsequencesofhergiddiness。
　　ThesightoftheseletterscausedmesuchapalpitationoftheheartthatIwascompelledtositdown:itwasamostevidentsignofmydefeat。BesidesthesetwolettersIfoundathirdonesigned"S。"
　　andaddressedtoM————M————。Ireadthefollowinglines:
　　"Themaskwhoaccompaniedmebacktomyhousewouldnot，Ibelieve，haveutteredasingleword，ifIhadnottoldhimthatthecharmsofyourwittymindwereevenmorebewitchingthanthoseofyourperson；
　　andhisanswerwas，’Ihaveseentheone，andIbelieveintheother。’IaddedthatIdidnotunderstandwhyyouhadnotspokentohim，andhesaid，withasmile，’Irefusedtobepresentedtoher，andshepunishedmeforitbynotappearingtoknowthatIwaspresent。’Thesefewwordswereallourdialogue。Iintendedtosendyouthisnotethismorning，butfounditimpossible。Adieu。"
　　Afterreadingthisnote，whichstatedtheexacttruth，andwhichcouldbeconsideredasproof，myheartbegantobeatlessquickly。
　　Delightedatseeingmyselfonthepointofbeingconvictedofinjustice，Itookcourage，andIreadthefollowingletter:
　　"Owingtoanexcusableweakness，feelingcurioustoknowwhatyouwouldsayaboutmetothecountessafteryouhadseenme，Itookanopportunityofaskinghertoletmeknowallyousaidtoheronthefollowingdayatlatest，forIforesawthatyouwouldpaymeavisitintheafternoon。Herletter，whichIenclose，andwhichIbegyoutoread，didnotreachmetillhalfanhourafteryouhadlefttheconvent。
　　"Thiswasthefirstfatality。
　　"Nothavingreceivedthatletterwhenyoucalled，Ihadnotthecouragetoseeyou。Thisabsurdweaknessonmypartwasthesecondfatality，buttheweaknessyouwill；Ihope；forgive。Igaveorderstothelay—sistertotellyouthatIwasillforthewholeday；averylegitimateexcuse；whethertrueorfalse，foritwasanofficiousuntruth，thecorrectionofwhich，wastobefoundinthewords:forthewholeday。Youhadalreadylefttheconvent，andI
　　couldnotpossiblysendanyonetorunafteryou，whentheoldfoolinformedmeofherhavingtoldyouthatIwasengaged。
　　"Thiswasthethirdfatality。
　　"YoucannotimaginewhatIhadamindtodoandtosaytothatfoolishsister；buthereonemustsayordonothing；onemustbepatientanddissemble，thankingGodwhenmistakesaretheresultofignoranceandnotofwickedness——averycommonthinginconvents。
　　Iforesawatonce，atleastpartly；whatwouldhappen；andwhathasactually，happened；fornoreasonablebeingcould，Ibelieve，haveforeseenitall。Iguessedthat，thinkingyourselfthevictimofajoke，youwouldbeincensed，andIfeltmiserable，forIdidnotseeanywayoflettingyouknowthetruthbeforethefollowingSunday。
　　Myheartlonged—ardentlyforthatday。CouldIpossiblyimaginethatyou，wouldtakearesolutionnottocomeagaintoourchurch！
　　ItriedtobepatientuntilthatSunday；butwhenIfoundmyselfdisappointedinmyhope，mymiserybecameunbearable，anditwillcausemydeathifyourefusetolistentomyjustification。Yourletterhasmademecompletelyunhappy，andIshallnotresistmydespairifyoupersistinthecruelresolveexpressedbyyourunfeelingletter。Youhaveconsideredyourselftrifledwith；thatisallyoucansay；butwillthisletterconvinceyouofyourerror？
　　Andevenbelievingyourselfdeceivedinthemostscandalousmanner，youmustadmitthattowritesuchanawfulletteryoumusthavesupposedmeanabominablewretch——amonster，suchasawomanofnoblebirthandofrefinededucationcannotpossiblybe。Ienclosethetwolettersyousentbacktome，withtheideaofallayingmyfearswhichyoucruellysupposedverydifferenttowhattheyareinreality。
　　Iamabetterphysiognomistthanyou，andyoumustbequitecertainthatIhavenotactedthoughtlessly，forIneverthoughtyoucapable，Iwillnotsayofcrime，butevenofanindelicateaction。Youmusthavereadonmyfeaturesthesignsonlyofgiddyimpudence，andthatisnotmynature。Youmaybethecauseofmydeath，youwillcertainlymakememiserablefortheremainderofmylife，ifyoudonotjustifyyourself；onmysideIthinkthejustificationiscomplete。
　　"Ihopethat，evenifyoufeelnointerestinmylife，youwillthinkthatyouareboundinhonourtocomeandspeaktome。Comeyourselftorecallallyouhavewritten；itisyourduty，andIdeserveit。
　　Ifyoudonotrealizethefataleffectproduceduponmebyyourletter，Imustindeedpityyou，inspiteofmymisery，foritprovesthatyouhavenottheslightestknowledgeofthehumanheart。ButI
　　feelcertainthatyouwillcomeback，providedthemantowhomI
　　trustthislettercontrivestofindyou。Adieu！Iexpectlifeordeathfromyou。"
　　Ididnotrequiretoreadthatlettertwice；Iwasashamedandindespair。M————M————wasright。IcalledtheForlanese，enquiredfromhimwhetherhehadspokentoherinthemorning，andwhethershelookedill。Heansweredthathehadfoundherlookingmoreunhappyeveryday，andthathereyeswereredfromweeping。
　　"Godownagainandwait，"Isaidtohim。
　　Ibegantowrite，andIhadnotconcludedmylongscreedbeforethedawnofday；hereare，wordbyword，thecontentsoftheletterwhichIwrotetothenoblestofwomen，whominmyunreasonablespiteIhadjudgedsowrongly。
　　"Ipleadguilty，madam；Icannotpossiblyjustifymyself，andIamperfectlyconvincedofyourinnocence。IshouldbedisconsolateifI
　　didnothopetoobtainpardon，andyouwillnotrefusetoforgivemeifyouarekindenoughtorecollectthecauseofmyguilt。Isawyou；Iwasdazzled，andIcouldnotrealizeahappinesswhichseemedtomeadream；Ithoughtmyselfthepreyofoneofthosedelightfulillusionswhichvanishwhenwewakeup。ThedoubtunderwhichIwaslabouringcouldnotbeclearedupfortwenty—fourhours，andhowcouldIexpressmyfeverishimpatienceasIwaslongingforthathappymoment！Itcameatlast！andmyheart，throbbingwithdesireandhope，wasflyingtowardsyouwhileIwasintheparlourcountingtheminutes！Yetanhourpassedalmostrapidly，andnotunnaturally，consideringmyimpatienceandthedeepimpressionIfeltattheideaofseeingyou。Butthen，preciselyattheverymomentwhenI
　　believedmyselfcertainthatIwasgoingtogazeuponthebelovedfeatureswhichhadbeeninoneinterviewindeliblyengraveduponmyheart，Isawthemostdisagreeablefaceappear，andacreatureannouncedthatyouwereengagedforthewholeday，andwithoutgivingmetimetoutteronewordshedisappeared！Youmayimaginemyastonishmentand……therest。Thelightningwouldnothaveproduceduponmeamorerapid，amoreterribleeffect！Ifyouhadsentmealinebythatsister——alinefromyourhand——Iwouldhavegoneaway，ifnotpleased，atleastsubmissiveandresigned。
　　"Butthatwasafourthfatalitywhichyouhaveforgottentoaddtoyourdelightfulandwittyjustification。Thinkingmyselfscoffedat，myself—loverebelled，andindignationforthemomentsilencedlove。
　　Shameoverwhelmedme！Ithoughtthateverybodycouldreadonmyfaceallthehorrorinmyheart，andIsawinyou，undertheoutwardappearanceofanangel，nothingbutafearfuldaughterofthePrinceofDarkness。Mymindwasthoroughlyupset，andattheendofelevendaysIlostthesmallportionofgoodsensethatwasleftinme——atleastImustsupposeso，asitisthenthatIwrotetoyoutheletterofwhichyouhavesogoodarighttocomplain，andwhichatthattimeseemedtomeamasterpieceofmoderation。
　　"ButIhopeitisallovernow，andthisverydayateleveno’clockyouwillseemeatyourfeet——tender，submissiveandrepentant。Youwillforgiveme，divinewoman，orIwillmyselfavengeyoufortheinsultIhavehurledatyou。TheonlythingwhichIdaretoaskfromyouasagreatfavouristoburnmyfirstletter，andnevertomentionitagain。IsentitonlyafterIhadwrittenfour，whichI
　　destroyedoneaftertheother:youmaythereforeimaginethestateofmyheart。
　　"Ihavegivenorderstomymessengertogotoyourconventatonce，sothatmylettercanbedeliveredtoyouassoonasyouwakeinthemorning。Hewouldneverhavediscoveredme，ifmygoodangelhadnotmademegouptohimatthedooroftheopera—house。ButIshallnotrequirehisservicesanymore；donotanswerme，andreceiveallthedevotionofaheartwhichadoresyou。"
　　Whenmyletterwasfinished，IcalledmyForlanese，gavehimonesequin，andImadehimpromisemetogotoMuranimmediately，andtodelivermyletteronlytothenunherself。AssoonashehadgoneI
　　threwmyselfonmybed，butanxietyandburningimpatiencewouldnotallowmetosleep。
　　IneednottellthereaderwhoknowsthestateofexcitementunderwhichIwaslabouring，thatIwaspunctualinpresentingmyselfattheconvent。IwasshewnintothesmallparlourwhereIhadseenherforthefirsttime，andshealmostimmediatelymadeherentrance。
　　AssoonasIsawhernearthegratingIfellonmyknees，butsheentreatedmetoriseatonceasImightbeseen。Herfacewasflushedwithexcitement，andherlooksseemedtomeheavenly。Shesatdown，andItookaseatoppositetoher。Weremainedseveralminutesmotionless，gazingateachotherwithoutspeaking，butI
　　brokethesilencebyaskingher，inavoicefullofloveandanxiety，whetherIcouldhopetoobtainmypardon。Shegavemeherbeautifulhandthroughthegrating，andIcovereditwithtearsandkisses。
　　"Ouracquaintance，"shesaid，"hasbegunwithaviolentstorm；letushopethatweshallnowenjoyitlonginperfectandlastingcalm。
　　Thisisthefirsttimethatwespeaktooneanother，butwhathasoccurredmustbeenoughtogiveusathoroughknowledgeofeachother。Itrustthatourintimacywillbeastenderassincere，andthatweshallknowhowtohaveamutualindulgenceforourfaults。"
　　"Cansuchanangelasyouhaveany？"
　　"Ah，myfriend！whoiswithoutthem？"
　　"WhenshallIhavethehappinessofconvincingyouofmydevotionwithcompletefreedomandinallthejoyofmyheart？"
　　"Wewilltakesuppertogetheratmycasinowheneveryouplease，providedyougivemenoticetwodaysbeforehand；orIwillgoandsupwithyouinVenice，ifitwillnotdisturbyourarrangements。"
　　"Itwouldonlyincreasemyhappiness。IthinkitrighttotellyouthatIaminveryeasycircumstances，andthat，farfromfearingexpense，Idelightinit:allIpossessbelongstothewomanIlove。"
　　"Thatconfidence，mydearfriend，isveryagreeabletome，themoresothatIhavelikewisetotellyouthatIamveryrich，andthatI
　　couldnotrefuseanythingtomylover。"
　　"Butyoumusthavealover？"
　　"Yes；itisthroughhimthatIamrich，andheisentirelymymaster。
　　Ineverconcealanythingfromhim。Thedayafterto—morrow，whenI
　　amalonewithyou，Iwilltellyoumore。"
　　"ButIhopethatyourlover……"
　　"Willnotbethere？Certainlynot。Haveyouamistress？"
　　"Ihadone，but，alas！shehasbeentakenfrommebyviolentmeans，andforthelastsixmonthsIhaveledalifeofcompletecelibacy。"
　　"Doyouloveherstill？"
　　"Icannotthinkofherwithoutlovingher。Shehasalmostasgreatcharms，asgreatbeauty，asyouhave；butIforeseethatyouwillmakemeforgether。"
　　"Ifyourhappinesswithherwascomplete，Ipityyou。Shehasbeenviolentlytakenfromyou，andyoushunsocietyinordertofeedyoursorrow。Ihaveguessedright，haveInot？ButifIhappentotakepossessionofherplaceinyourheart，noone，mysweetfriend，shallturnmeoutofit。"
　　"Butwhatwillyourloversay？"
　　"Hewillbedelightedtoseemehappywithsuchaloverasyou。Itisinhisnature。"
　　"Whatanadmirablenature！Suchheroismisquitebeyondme！"
　　"WhatsortofalifedoyouleadinVenice？"
　　"Iliveatthetheatres，insociety，inthecasinos，whereIfightagainstfortunesometimeswithgoodsometimeswithbadsuccess。"
　　"Doyouvisittheforeignambassadors？"
　　"No，becauseIamtoomuchacquaintedwiththenobility；butIknowthemall。"
　　"Howcanyouknowthemifyoudonotseethem？"
　　"Ihaveknownthemabroad。InParmatheDukedeMontalegre，theSpanishambassador；inViennaIknewCountRosemberg；inParis，abouttwoyearsago，theFrenchambassador。"
　　"Itisneartwelveo’clock，mydearfriend；itistimeforustopart。Comeatthesamehourthedayaftertomorrow，andIwillgiveyoualltheinstructionswhichyouwillrequiretoenableyoutocomeandsupwithme。"
　　"Alone？"
　　"Ofcourse。"
　　"MayIventuretoaskyouforapledge？Thehappinesswhichyoupromisemeissoimmense！"
　　"Whatpledgedoyouwant？"
　　"ToseeyoustandingbeforethatsmallwindowinthegratingwithpermissionformetooccupythesameplaceasMadamedeS————。"
　　Sheroseatonce，and，withthemostgracioussmile，touchedthespring；afteramostexpressivekiss，Itookleaveofher。Shefollowedmewithhereyesasfarasthedoor，andherlovinggazewouldhaverootedmetothespotifshehadnotlefttheroom。
　　Ispentthetwodaysofexpectationinawhirlofimpatientjoy，whichpreventedmefromeatingandsleeping；foritseemedtomethatnootherlovehadevergivenmesuchhappiness，orratherthatIwasgoingtobehappyforthefirsttime。
　　Irrespectiveofbirth，beauty，andwit，whichwastheprincipalmeritofmynewconquest，prejudicewastheretoenhanceahundredfoldmyfelicity，forshewasavestal:itwasforbiddenfruit，andwhodoesnotknowthat，fromEvedowntoourdays，itwasthatfruitwhichhasalwaysappearedthemostdelicious！Iwasonthepointofencroachingupontherightsofanall—powerfulhusband；inmyeyesM————M————wasaboveallthequeensoftheearth。
　　Ifmyreasonhadnotbeentheslaveofpassion，IshouldhaveknownthatmynuncouldnotbeadifferentcreaturefromalltheprettywomenwhomIhadlovedforthethirteenyearsthatIhadbeenlabouringinthefieldsoflove。Butwhereisthemaninlovewhocanharboursuchathought？Ifitpresentsitselftoooftentohismind，heexpelsitdisdainfully！M————M————couldnotbyanymeansbeotherwisethansuperiortoallotherwomeninthewideworld。
　　Animalnature，whichchemistscalltheanimalkingdom，obtainsthroughinstinctthethreevariousmeansnecessaryfortheperpetuationofitsspecies。
　　Therearethreerealwantswhichnaturehasimplantedinallhumancreatures。Theymustfeedthemselves，andtopreventthattaskfrombeinginsipidandtedioustheyhavetheagreeablesensationofappetite，whichtheyfeelpleasureinsatisfying。Theymustpropagatetheirrespectivespecies；anabsolutenecessitywhichprovesthewisdomoftheCreator，sincewithoutreproductionallwould，beannihilated——bytheconstantlawofdegradation，decayanddeath。And，whateverSt。Augustinemaysay，humancreatureswouldnotperformtheworkofgenerationiftheydidnotfindpleasureinit，andiftherewasnotinthatgreatworkanirresistibleattractionforthem。Inthethirdplace，allcreatureshaveadeterminedandinvinciblepropensitytodestroytheirenemies；anditiscertainlyaverywiseordination，forthatfeelingofself—
　　preservationmakesitadutyforthemtodotheirbestforthedestructionofwhatevercaninjurethem。
　　Eachspeciesobeystheselawsinitsownway。Thethreesensations:
　　hunger，desire，andhatred——areinanimalsthesatisfactionofhabitualinstinct，andcannotbecalledpleasures，fortheycanbesoonlyinproportiontotheintelligenceoftheindividual。Manaloneisgiftedwiththeperfectorganswhichrenderrealpleasurepeculiartohim；because，being，endowedwiththesublimefacultyofreason，heforeseesenjoyment，looksforit，composes，improves，andincreasesitbythoughtandrecollection。Ientreatyou，dearreader，nottogetwearyoffollowingmeinmyramblings；fornowthatIambuttheshadowoftheoncebrilliantCasanova，Ilovetochatter；andifyouweretogivemetheslip，youwouldbeneitherpolitenorobliging。
　　Mancomesdowntothelevelofbeastswheneverhegiveshimselfuptothethreenaturalpropensitieswithoutcallingreasonandjudgmenttohisassistance；butwhenthemindgivesperfectequilibriumtothosepropensities，thesensationsderivedfromthembecometrueenjoyment，anunaccountablefeelingwhichgivesuswhatiscalledhappiness，andwhichweexperiencewithoutbeingabletodescribeit。
　　Thevoluptuousmanwhoreasons，disdainsgreediness，rejectswithcontemptlustandlewdness，andspurnsthebrutalrevengewhichiscausedbyafirstmovementofanger:butheisdainty，andsatisfieshisappetiteonlyinamannerinharmonywithhisnatureandhistastes；heisamorous，butheenjoyshimselfwiththeobjectofhisloveonlywhenheiscertainthatshewillsharehisenjoyment，whichcanneverbethecaseunlesstheirloveismutual；ifheisoffended，hedoesnotcareforrevengeuntilhehascalmlyconsideredthebestmeanstoenjoyitfully。Ifheissometimesmorecruelthannecessary，heconsoleshimselfwiththeideathathehasactedundertheempireofreason；andhisrevengeissometimessonoblethathefindsitinforgiveness。Thosethreeoperationsaretheworkofthesoulwhich，toprocureenjoymentforitself，becomestheagentofourpassions。Wesometimessufferfromhungerinordertoenjoybetterthefoodwhichwillallayit；wedelaytheamorousenjoymentforthesakeofmakingitmoreintense，andweputoffthemomentofourrevengeinordertomikeitmorecertain。Itistrue，however，thatonemaydiefromindigestion，thatweallowourselvestobeoftendeceivedinlove，andthatthecreaturewewanttoannihilateoftenescapesourrevenge；butperfectioncannotbeattainedinanything，andthoseareriskswhichwerunmostwillingly。
　　CHAPTERXVII
　　ContinuationoftheLastChapter——MyFirstAssignationWithM。M。
　　——LetterFromC。C。——MySecondMeetingWiththeNunAtMySplendidCasinoInVeniceIAmHappyThereisnothing，therecanbenothing，dearertoathinkingbeingthanlife；yetthevoluptuousmen，thosewhotrytoenjoyitinthebestmanner，arethemenwhopractisewiththegreatestperfectionthedifficultartofshorteninglife，ofdrivingitfast。Theydonotmeantomakeitshorter，fortheywouldliketoperpetuateitinthemidstofpleasure，buttheywishenjoymenttorenderitscourseinsensible；andtheyareright，providedtheydonotfailinfulfillingtheirduties。Manmustnot，however，imaginethathehasnootherdutiesbutthosewhichgratifyhissenses；hewouldbegreatlymistaken，andhemightfallthevictimofhisownerror。I
　　thinkthatmyfriendHoracemadeamistakewhenhesaidtoFlorus:
　　’Necmetuamquiddemejudicetheres，Quodnonpluradatisinveniet。’
　　Thehappiestmanistheonewhoknowshowtoobtainthegreatestsumofhappinesswithouteverfailinginthedischargeofhisduties，andthemostunhappyisthemanwhohasadoptedaprofessioninwhichhefindshimselfconstantlyunderthesadnecessityofforeseeingthefuture。
　　PerfectlycertainthatM————M————wouldkeepherword，Iwenttotheconventatteno’clockinthemorning，andshejoinedmeintheparlourassoonasIwasannounced。
　　"Goodheavens！"sheexclaimed，"areyouill？"
　　"No，butImaywelllookso，fortheexpectationofhappinesswearsmeout。Ihavelostsleepandappetite，andifmyfelicityweretobedeferredmylifewouldbetheforfeit。"
　　"Thereshallbenodelay，dearest；buthowimpatientyouare！Letussitdown。Hereisthekeyofmycasino。Youwillfindsomepersonsinit，becausewemustbeserved；butnobodywillspeaktoyou，andyouneednotspeaktoanyone。Youmustbemasked，andyoumustnotgotheretilltwohoursaftersunset；mind，notbefore。Thengoupthestairsoppositethestreet—door，andatthetopofthosestairsyouwillsee，bythelightofalamp，agreendoorwhichyouwillopentoentertheapartmentwhichyouwillfindlighted。Youwillfindmeinthesecondroom，andincaseIshouldnotbethereyouwillwaitformeafewminutes；youmayrelyuponmybeingpunctual。
　　Youcantakeoffyourmaskinthatroom，andmakeyourselfcomfortable；youwillfindsomebooksandagoodfire。"
　　Thedescriptioncouldnotbeclearer；Ikissedthehandwhichwasgivingmethekeyofthatmysterioustemple，andIenquiredfromthecharmingwomanwhetherIshouldseeherinherconventualgarb。
　　"Ialwaysleavetheconventwithit，"shesaid，"butIhaveatthecasinoacompletewardrobetotransformmyselfintoanelegantwomanoftheworld，andeventodisguisemyself。"
　　"Ihopeyouwilldomethefavourtoremaininthedressofanun。"
　　"Whyso，Ibeg？"
　　"Ilovetoseeyouinthatdress。"
　　"Ah！ah！Iunderstand。Youfancythatmyheadisshaved，andyouareafraid。Butcomfortyourself，dearfriend，mywigissobeautifullymadethatitdefiesdetection；itisnatureitself。"
　　"Oh，dear！whatareyousaying？Theverynameofwigisawful。Butno，youmaybecertainthatIwillfindyoulovelyunderallcircumstances。Ionlyentreatyounottoputonthatcruelwiginmypresence。DoIoffendyou？Forgiveme；Iamverysorrytohavementionedthatsubject。Areyousurethatnoonecanseeyouleavetheconvent？"
　　"Youwillbesureofityourselfwhenyouhavegoneroundtheislandandseenthesmalldoorontheshore。Ihavethekeyofaroomopeningontheshore，andIhaveeveryconfidenceinthesisterwhoservesme。"
　　"Andthegondola？"
　　"Myloverhimselfanswersforthefidelityofthegondoliers。"
　　"Whatamanthatloveris！Ifancyhemustbeanoldman。"
　　"Youaremistaken；ifhewereold，Ishouldbeashamed。Heisnotforty，andhehaseverythingnecessarytobeloved——beauty，wit，sweettemper，andnoblebehaviour。"
　　"Andheforgivesyouramorouscaprices？"
　　"Whatdoyoumeanbycaprices？Ayearagoheobtainedpossessionofme，andbeforehimIhadneverbelongedtoaman；youarethefirstwhoinspiredmewithafancy。WhenIconfessedittohimhewasrathersurprised，thenhelaughed，andreadmeashortlectureupontheriskIwasrunningintrustingamanwhomightproveindiscreet。
　　Hewantedmetoknowatleastwhoyouwerebeforegoinganyfurther，butitwastoolate。Iansweredforyourdiscretion，andofcourseI
　　madehimlaughbymybeingsopositivelytheguaranteeofamanwhomIdidnotknow。"
　　"Whendidyouconfideinhim？"
　　"Thedaybeforeyesterday，andwithoutconcealinganythingfromhim。
　　Ihaveshewnhimmylettersandyours；hethinksyouareaFrenchman，althoughyourepresentyourselfasaVenetian。Heisverycurioustoknowwhoyouare，butyouneednotbeafraid；Ipromiseyoufaithfullynevertotakeanystepstofinditoutmyself。"
　　"AndIpromiseyoulikewisenottotrytofindoutwhoisthiswonderfulmanaswonderfulasyouareyourself。IamverymiserablewhenIthinkofthesorrowIhavecausedyou。"
　　"Donotmentionthatsubjectanymore；whenIconsiderthematter，I
　　seethatonlyaconceitedmanwouldhaveacteddifferently。"
　　Beforeleavingher，shegrantedmeanothertokenofheraffectionthroughthelittlewindow，andhergazefollowedmeasfarasthedoor。
　　Intheevening，atthetimenamedbyher，Irepairedtothecasino，andobeyingallherinstructionsIreachedasitting—roominwhichI
　　foundmynewconquestdressedinamostelegantcostume。Theroomwaslightedupbygirandoles，whichwerereflectedbythelooking—
　　glasses，andbyfoursplendidcandlesticksplacedonatablecoveredwithbooks。M————M————struckmeasentirelydifferentinherbeautytowhatshehadseemedinthegarbofanun。Sheworenocap，andherhairwasfastenedbehindinathicktwist；butIpassedrapidlyoverthatpartofherperson，becauseIcouldnotbeartheideaofawig，andIcouldnotcomplimentheraboutit。Ithrewmyselfatherfeettoshewhermydeepgratitude，andIkissedwithraptureherbeautifulhands，waitingimpatientlyfortheamorouscontestwhichIwaslongingfor；butM————M————thoughtfittoopposesomeresistance。Oh，howsweettheyare！thosedenialsofalovingmistress，whodelaysthehappymomentonlyforthesakeofenjoyingitsdelightsbetter！Asaloverrespectful，tender，butbold，enterprising，certainofvictory，Iblendeddelicatelythegentlenessofmyproceedingswiththeardentfirewhichwasconsumingme；andstealingthemostvoluptuouskissesfromthemostbeautifulmouthIfeltasifmysoulwouldburstfrommybody。Wespenttwohoursinthepreliminarycontest，attheendofwhichwecongratulatedoneanother，onherpartforhavingcontrivedtoresist，onmineforhavingcontrolledmyimpatience。