Whiledinnerwasbeingpreparedweshutourselvesupinaroomtoavoidthecrowdofwomenwhopesteredustobuyathousandtrifles，andattwoo’clockwestarted，Moreauhavinggothismoney。WegottoCosneattwilight，andthoughClairmontwaswaitingforusatBriane，IdecidedonstoppingwhereIwas，andthisnightprovedsuperiortothefirst。Thenextdaywemadeabreakfastofthemealwhichhadbeenpreparedforoursupper，andwesleptatFontainebleau，whereIenjoyedAdeleforthelasttime。InthemorningIpromisedtocomeandseeheratLouviers，whenIreturnedfromEngland，butIcouldnotkeepmyword。
　　WetookfourhourstogetfromFontainebleautoParis，buthowquicklythetimepassed。IstoppedthecarriagenearthePontSt。
　　Michel，oppositetoaclockmaker’sshop，andafterlookingatseveralwatchesIgaveonetoAdele，andthendroppedherandherfatheratthecorneroftheRueauxOurs。Igotdownatthe"HoteldeMontmorenci，"notwantingtostopwithMadamed’Urfe，butafterdressingIwenttodinewithher。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　IDriveMyBrotherTheAbbeFromParis——MadameduRumainRecoversHerVoiceThroughMyCabala——ABadJoke——TheCorticelli——ITaked’ArandatoLondonMyArrivalAtCalaisAsusual，Madamed’Urfereceivedmewithopenarms，butIwassurprisedathearinghertellArandatofetchthesealedlettershehadgivenhiminthemorning。Iopenedit，founditwasdatedthesameday，andcontainedthefollowing:
　　"Mygeniustoldmeatday—breakthatGaltinarduswasstartingfromFontainebleau，andthathewillcomeanddinewithmeto—day。"
　　Shechancedtoberight，butIhavehadmanysimilarexperiencesinthecourseofmylife—experienceswhichwouldhaveturnedanyotherman’shead。Iconfesstheyhavesurprisedme，buttheyhavenevermademelosemyreasoningpowers。Menmakeaguesswhichturnsouttobecorrect，andtheyimmediatelyclaimpropheticpower；buttheyforgotallaboutthemanycasesinwhichtheyhavebeenmistaken。
　　SixmonthsagoIwassillyenoughtobetthatabitchwouldhavealitteroffivebitchpupsonacertainday，andIwon。Everyonethoughtitamarvelexceptmyself，forifIhadchancedtoloseI
　　shouldhavebeenthefirsttolaugh。
　　InaturallyexpressedmyadmirationforMadamed’Urfe’sgenius，andsharedherjoyinfindingherselfsowellduringherpregnancy。Theworthylunatichadgivenordersthatshewasnotathometoherusualcallers，inexpectationofmyarrival，andsowespenttherestofthedaytogether，consultinghowwecouldmakeArandagotoLondonofhisownfreewill；andasIdidnotintheleastknowhowitwastobedone，therepliesoftheoraclewereveryobscure。Madamed’Urfehadsuchastrongdisliketobiddinghimgo，thatIcouldnotpresumeonherobediencetothatextent，andIhadtorackmybrainstofindoutsomewayofmakingthelittlemanasktobetakentoLondonasafavour。
　　IwenttotheComedieItalienne，whereIfoundMadameduRumain，whoseemedgladtoseemebackinParisagain。
　　"Iwanttoconsulttheoracleonamatterofthegreatestimportance，"saidshe，"andIhopeyouwillcomeandseemetomorrow。"
　　I，ofcourse，promisedtodoso。
　　Ididnotcarefortheperformance，andshouldhaveleftthetheatreifIhadnotwantedtoseetheballet，thoughIcouldnotguessthepeculiarinterestitwouldhaveforme。WhatwasmysurprisetoseetheCorticelliamongstthedancers。IthoughtIwouldliketospeaktoher，notforanyamorousreasons，butbecauseIfeltcurioustohearheradventures。AsIcameoutImettheworthyBaletti，whotoldmehehadleftthestageandwaslivingonanannuity。IaskedhimabouttheCorticelli，andhegavemeheraddress，tellingmethatshewasinapoorway。
　　Iwenttosupwithmybrotherandhiswife，whoweredelightedtoseeme，andtoldmethatIhadcomejustintimetousealittlegentlepersuasiononourfriendtheabbe，ofwhomtheyhadgottired。
　　"Whereishe？"
　　"Youwillseehimbeforelong，foritisnearsupper—time；andaseatinganddrinkingarethechiefconcernsofhislife，hewillnotfailtoputinanappearance。"
　　"Whathashedone？"
　　"Everythingthatagood—for—nothingcando；butIhearhimcoming，andIwilltellyouallaboutitinhispresence。"
　　Theabbewasastonishedtoseeme，andbeganapolitespeech，althoughIdidnotfavourhimwithsomuchasalook。ThenheaskedmewhatIhadagainsthim。
　　"Allthatanhonestmancanhaveagainstamonster。IhavereadtheletteryouwrotetoPossano，inwhichIamstyledacheat，aspy，acoiner，andapoisoner。Whatdoestheabbethinkofthat？"
　　Hesatdowntotablewithoutaword，andmybrotherbeganasfollows:
　　"Whenthisfinegentlemanfirstcamehere，mywifeandIgavehimamostcordialwelcome。Iallowedhimaniceroom，andtoldhimtolookuponmyhouseashisown。Possiblywiththeideaofinterestingusinhisfavour，hebeganbysayingthatyouwerethegreatestrascalintheworld。ToproveithetoldushowhehadcarriedoffagirlfromVenicewiththeideaofmarryingher，andwenttoyouatGenoaashewasingreatnecessity。Heconfessesthatyourescuedhimfromhismisery，buthesaysthatyoutraitorouslytookpossessionofthegirl，associatingherwithtwoothermistressesyouhadatthattime。Infine，hesaysthatyoulaywithherbeforehiseyes，andthatyoudrovehimfromMarseillesthatyoumightbeabletoenjoyherwithgreaterfreedom。
　　"HefinishedhisstorybysayingthatashecouldnotgobacktoVenice，heneededourhelptillhecouldfindsomemeansoflivingonhistalentsorthroughhisprofessionasapriest。Iaskedhimwhathistalentswere，andhesaidhecouldteachItalian；butashespeaksitvilely，anddoesn’tknowawordofFrench，welaughedathim。Wewerethereforereducedtoseeingwhatwecoulddoforhiminhischaracterofpriest，andtheverynextdaymywifespoketoM。deSauci，theecclesiasticalcommissioner，begginghimtogivemybrotheranintroductiontotheArchbishopofParis，whomightgivehimsomethingthatmightleadtohisobtainingagoodbenefice。Hewouldhavetogotoourparishchurch，andIspoketotherectorofSt。Sauveur，whopromisedtolethimsaymass，forwhichhewouldreceivetheusualsumoftwelvesols。Thiswasaverygoodbeginning，andmighthaveledtosomethingworthhaving；butwhenwetoldtheworthyabbeofoursuccess，hegotintoarage，sayingthathewasnotthemantosaymassfortwelvesols，nortotoadythearchbishopinthehopeofbeingtakenintohisservice。No，hewasnotgoingtobeinanyone’sservice。Weconcealedourindignation，butforthethreeweekshehasbeenherehehasturnedeverythingupsidedown。Mywife’smaidleftusyesterday，toourgreatannoyance，becauseofhim；andthecooksaysshewillgoifheremains，asheisalwaysbotheringherinthekitchen。Wearethereforeresolvedthatheshallgo，forhissocietyisintolerabletous。Iamdelightedtohaveyouhere，asIthinkweoughttobeabletodrivehimawaybetweenus，andthesoonerthebetter。"
　　"Nothingeasier，"saidI；"ifhelikestostayinParis，lethimdoso。Youcansendoffhisragstosomefurnishedapartments，andservehimwithapoliceordernottoputfootinyourhouseagain。
　　Ontheotherhandifhewantstogoaway，lethimsaywhere，andI
　　willpayhisjourney—moneythisevening。"
　　"Nothingcouldbemoregenerous。Whatdoyousay，abbe？"
　　"IsaythatthisisthewayinwhichhedrovemefromMarseilles。
　　Whatintolerableviolence！"
　　"GiveGodthanks，monster，thatinsteadofthrashingyouwithinaninchofyourlifeasyoudeserve，Iamgoingtogiveyousomemoney！
　　YouthoughtyouwouldgetmehangedatLyons，didyou？"
　　"WhereisMarcoline？"
　　"Whatisthattoyou？MakehasteandchoosebetweenRomeandParis，andrememberthatifyouchooseParisyouwillhavenothingtoliveon。"
　　"ThenIwillgotoRome。"
　　"Good！Thejourneyonlycoststwentylouis，butIwillgiveyoutwenty—five。"
　　"Handthemover。"
　　"Patience。Givemepens，inkandpaper。"
　　"Whatareyougoingtowrite？"
　　"BillsofexchangeonLyons，Turin，Genoa，Florence，andRome。YourplacewillbepaidasfarasLyons，andthereyouwillbeabletogetfivelouis，andthesamesumintheothertowns，butaslongasyoustayinParisnotonesinglefarthingwillIgiveyou。Iamstayingatthe’HotelMontmorenci；’that’sallyouneedknowaboutme。"
　　Ithenbadefarewelltomybrotherandhiswife，tellingthemthatweshouldmeetagain。Checco，aswecalledmybrother，toldmehewouldsendontheabbe’strunkthedayfollowing，andIbadehimdosobyallmeans。
　　Thenextdaytrunkandabbecametogether。Ididnotevenlookathim，butafterIhadseenthataroomhadbeenassignedtohim，I
　　calledouttothelandlordthatIwouldbeanswerablefortheabbe’sboardandlodgingforthreedays，andnotamomentmore。Theabbetriedtospeaktome，butIsternlydeclinedtohaveanythingtosaytohim，strictlyforbiddingClairmonttoadmithimtomyapartments。
　　WhenIwenttoMadameduRumain’s，theportersaid，——
　　"Sir，everybodyisstillasleep，butwhoareyou？Ihaveinstructions。"
　　"IamtheChevalierdeSeingalt。"
　　"Kindlycomeintomylodge，andamuseyourselfwithmyniece。Iwillsoonbewithyou。"
　　Iwentin，andfoundaneatly—dressedandcharminggirl。
　　"Mademoiselle，"saidI，"yourunclehastoldmetocomeandamusemyselfwithyou。"
　　"Heisarascal，forheconsultedneitherofus。"
　　"Yes，butheknewwellenoughthattherecouldbenodoubtaboutmyopinionafterIhadseenyou。"
　　"Youareveryflattering，sir，butIknowthevalueofcompliments。"
　　"Yes，Isupposethatyouoftengetthem，andyouwelldeservethemall。"
　　Theconversation，aswellastheprettyeyesoftheniece，begantointerestme，butfortunatelytheuncleputanendtoitbybeggingmetofollowhim。Hetookmetothemaid’sroom，andIfoundherputtingonapetticoat，andgrumblingthewhile。
　　"Whatisthematter，myprettymaid？Youdon’tseemtobeinagoodhumour。"
　　"Youwouldhavedonebettertocomeatnoon；itisnotnineo’clockyet，andmadamedidnotcomehometillthreeo’clockthismorning。I
　　amjustgoingtowakeher，andIamsorryforher。"
　　Iwastakenintotheroomdirectly，andthoughhereyeswerehalfclosedshethankedmeforawakingher，whileIapologizedforhavingdisturbedhersleep。
　　"Raton，"saidshe，"giveusthewritingmaterials，andgoaway。
　　Don’tcometillIcallyou，andifanyoneasksforme，Iamasleep。"
　　"Verygood，madam，andIwillgotosleepalso。"
　　"MydearM。Casanova，howisitthattheoraclehasdeceivedus？
　　M。duRumainisstillalive，andheoughttohavediedsixmonthsago。Itistruethatheisnotwell，butwewillnotgointoallthatagain。Thereallyimportantquestionisthis:Youknowthatmusicismyfavouritepursuit，andthatmyvoiceisfamousforitsstrengthandcompass；well，Ihavecomrletelylostit。Ihavenotsunganoteforthreemonths。Thedoctorshavestuffedmewithremedieswhichhavehadnoeffect:Itmakesmeveryunhappy，forsingingwastheonethingthatmademeclingtolife。IentreatyoutoasktheoraclehowIcanrecovermyvoice。HowdelightedIshouldbeifIcouldsingbyto—morrow。Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecominghere，andIshouldenjoythegeneralastonishment。IftheoraclewillsitIamsurethatitmightbeso，forIhaveaverystrongchest。Thatismyquestion；itisalongone，butsomuchthebetter；theanswerwillbelongtoo，andIlikelonganswers。"
　　Iwasofthesameopinion，forwhenthequestionwasalongone，I
　　hadtimetothinkovertheanswerasImadethepyramid。MadameRumain’scomplaintwasevidentlysomethingtrifling，butIwasnophysician，andknewnothingaboutmedicine。Besides，forthehonourofthecabala，theoraclemusthavenothingtodowithmereempiricremedies。Isoonmadeupmymindthatalittlecareinherwayoflivingwouldsoonrestorethethroattoitsnormalcondition，andanydoctorwithbrainsinhisheadcouldhavetoldherasmuch。InthepositionIwasin，Ihadtomakeuseofthelanguageofacharlatan，soIresolvedonprescribingaceremonialworshiptothesun，atanhourwhichwouldinsuresomeregularityinhermodeoflife。
　　Theoracledeclaredthatshewouldrecoverhervoiceintwenty—onedays，reckoningfromthenewmoon，ifsheworshippedtherisingsuneverymorning，inaroomwhichhadatleastonewindowlookingtotheeast。
　　Asecondreplybadehersleepsevenhoursinsuccessionbeforeshesacrificedtothesun，eachhoursymbolizingoneofthesevenplanets；andbeforeshewenttosleepshewastotakeabathinhonourofthemoon，placingherlegsinlukewarmwateruptotheknees。Ithenpointedoutthepsalmswhichshewastorecitetothemoon，andthosewhichshewastosayinthefaceoftherisingsun，ataclosedwindow。
　　Thislastdirectionfilledherwithadmiration，"for，"saidshe，"theoracleknewthatIshouldcatchcoldifthewindowwereopen。Iwilldoeverythingtheoraclebidsme，"addedthecredulouslady，"butI
　　hopeyouwillgetmeeverythingnecessaryfortheceremonies"
　　"Iwillnotonlytakecarethatyouhavealltherequisites，butasaproofofmyzealforyou，Iwillcomeanddothesuffumigationsmyselfthatyoumaylearnhowitisdone。"
　　Sheseemeddeeplymovedbythisoffer，butIexpectedasmuch。I
　　knewhowthemosttriflingservicesareassessedatthehighestrates；andhereinliesthegreatsecretofsuccessintheworld，aboveall，whereladiesoffashionareconcerned。
　　Aswehadtobeginthenextday，beingthenewmoon，Icalledonheratnineo’clock。Asshehadtosleepforsevensuccessivehoursbeforeperformingtheceremoniestotherisingsun，shewouldhavetogotobedbeforeten；andtheobservanceofallthesetrifleswasofimportance，asanyonecanunderstand。
　　Iwassurethatifanythingcouldrestorethislady’svoiceacarefulregimenwoulddoit。Iprovedtoberight，andatLondonIreceivedagratefulletterannouncingthesuccessofmymethod。
　　MadameduRumain，whosedaughtermarriedthePrincedePolignac，wasaloverofpleasure，andhauntedgrandsupper—parties。Shecouldnotexpecttoenjoyperfecthealth，andshehadlosthervoicebythewayinwhichshehadabusedit。Whenshehadrecoveredhervoice，asshethought，bytheinfluenceofthegenii，shelaughedatanyonewhotoldherthattherewasnosuchthingasmagic。
　　IfoundaletterfromThereseatMadamed’Urfe’s，inwhichsheinformedmethatshewouldcometoParisandtakehersonbackbyforceifIdidnotbringhimtoLondon，addingthatshewantedapositivereply。Ididnotaskforanythingmore，butIthoughtThereseveryinsolent。
　　ItoldArandathathismotherwouldbewaitingforusatAbbevilleinaweek’stime，andthatshewantedtoseehim。
　　"Wewillbothgiveherthepleasureofseeingus。"
　　"Certainly，"saidhe；"butasyouaregoingontoLondon，howshallI
　　comeback？"
　　"Byyourself，"saidMadamed’Urfe，"dressedasapostillion。"
　　"WhatshallIridepost？Howdelightfull"
　　"Youmustonlycovereightortenpostsaday，foryouhavenoneedtoriskyourlifebyridingallnight。"
　　"Yes，yes；butIamtodresslikeapostillion，amInot？"
　　"Yes；Iwillhaveahandsomejacketandapairofleatherbreechesmadeforyou，andyoushallhaveaflagwiththearmsofFranceonit。"
　　"TheywilltakemeforacouriergoingtoLondon。"
　　Withtheideathattothrowdifficultiesinthewaywouldconfirmhiminhisdesiretogo，IsaidroughlythatIcouldnothearofit，asthehorsemightfallandbreakhisneck。IhadtobebeggedandentreatedforthreedaysbeforeIwouldgivein，andIdidsoontheconditionthatheshouldonlyrideonhiswayback。
　　AshewascertainofreturningtoParis，heonlytooklinensufficientforaveryshortabsence；butasIknewthatonceatAbbevillehecouldnotescapeme，IsenthistrunkontoCalais，wherewefounditonourarrival。However，theworthyMadamed’Urfegothimamagnificentpostillion’ssuit，notforgettingthetop—boots。
　　Thisbusinesswhichofferedagoodmanydifficultieswashappilyarrangedbytheactionofpurechance；andIamgladtoconfessthatofteninmylifehaschanceturnedthescaleinmyfavour。
　　IcalledonabankerandgothimtogivemeheavycreditsonseveralofthemostimportanthousesinLondon，whereIwishedtomakenumerousacquaintances。
　　WhileIwascrossingthePlacedesVictoires，IpassedbythehousewheretheCorticellilived，andmycuriositymademeenter。Shewasastonishedtoseeme，andafteralongsilencesheburstintotears，andsaid，——
　　"IshouldneverhavebeenunhappyifIhadneverknownyou。"
　　"Yes，youwould，onlyinsomeotherway；yourmisfortunesaretheresultofyourbadconduct。Buttellmewhatareyourmisfortunes。"
　　"AsIcouldnotstayinTurinafteryouhaddishonouredme……"
　　"Youcametodishonouryourselfhere，Isuppose。Dropthattone，orelseIwillleaveyou。"
　　Shebeganherwretchedtale，whichstruckmewithconsternation，forIcouldnothelpfeelingthatIwasthefirstandfinalcauseofthislonglistofwoes。HenceIfeltitwasmydutytosuccourher，howeverillshehadtreatedmeinthepast。
　　"Then，"saidI，"youareatpresentthevictimofafearfuldisease，heavilyindebt，likelytobeturnedoutofdoorsandimprisonedbyyourcreditors。Whatdoyouproposetodo？"
　　"Do！Why，throwmyselfintheSeine，tobesure；that’sallthatisleftformetodo。Ihavenotafarthingleft。"
　　"Andwhatwouldyoudoifyouhadsomemoney？"
　　"Iwouldputmyselfunderthedoctor’shands，inthefirstplace，andthenifanymoneywasleftIwouldgotoBolognaandtrytogetalivingsomehow。PerhapsIshouldhavelearntalittlewisdombyexperience。"
　　"Poorgirl，Ipityyou！andinspiteofyourbadtreatmentofme，whichhasbroughtyoutothispass，Iwillnotabandonyou。Herearefourlouisforyourpresentwants，andto—morrowIwilltellyouwhereyouaretogoforyourcure。Whenyouhavegotwellagain，I
　　willgiveyouenoughmoneyforthejourney。Dryyourtears，repent，amendyourways，andmayGodhavemercyonyou！"
　　Thepoorgirlthrewherselfonthegroundbeforeme，andcoveredoneofmyhandswithkisses，beggingmetoforgiveherfortheillshehaddoneme。Icomfortedherandwentmyway，feelingverysad。I
　　tookacoachanddrovetotheRuedeSeine，whereIcalledonanoldsurgeonIknew，toldhimthestory，andwhatIwantedhimtodo。Hetoldmehecouldcureherinsixweekswithoutanybodyhearingaboutit，butthathemustbepaidinadvance。
　　"Certainly；butthegirlispoor，andIamdoingitoutofcharity。"
　　TheworthymantookapieceofpaperandgavemeanoteaddressedtoahouseintheFaubourgSt。Antoine，whichranasfollows:
　　"Youwilltakeinthepersonwhobringsyouthisnoteandthreehundredfrancs，andinsixweeksyouwillsendherbackcured，ifitpleaseGod。Thepersonhasreasonsfornotwishingtobeknown。"
　　Iwasdelightedtohavemanagedthemattersospeedilyandatsuchacheaprate，andIwenttobedinacalmerstateofmind，deferringmyinterviewwithmybrothertillthenextday。
　　Hecameateighto’clock，and，constanttohisfolly，toldmehehadaplantowhichhewassureIcouldhavenoobjection。
　　"Idon’twanttohearanythingaboutit；makeyourchoice，ParisorRome。"
　　"Givemethejourney—money，IwillremainatParis；butIwillgiveawrittenengagementnottotroubleyouoryourbrotheragain。Thatshouldbesufficient。"
　　"Itisnotforyoutojudgeofthat。Begone！Ihaveneitherthetimenorthewishtolistentoyou。Remember，Pariswithoutafarthing，orRomewithtwenty—fivelouis。"
　　ThereuponIcalledClairmont，andtoldhimtoputtheabbeout。
　　IwasinahurrytohavedonewiththeCorticelliaffair，andwenttothehouseintheFaubourgSt。Antoine，whereIfoundakindlyandintelligent—lookingmanandwoman，andallthearrangementsofthehousesatisfactoryandappropriatetotheperformanceofsecretcures。Isawtheroomandthebathdestinedforthenewboarder，everythingwascleanandneat，andIgavethemahundredcrowns，forwhichtheyhandedmeareceipt。Itoldthemthattheladywouldeithercomeinthecourseoftheday，oronthedayfollowing。
　　IwenttodinewithMadamed’UrfeandtheyoungCountd’Aranda。
　　Afterdinnertheworthymarchionesstalkedtomeforalongtimeofherpregnancy，dwellingonhersymptoms，andonthehappinessthatwouldbeherswhenthebabestirredwithinher。Ihadputtoastrongrestrainuponmyselftoavoidburstingoutlaughing。WhenI
　　hadfinishedwithherIwenttotheCorticelli，whocalledmehersaviourandherguardianangel。Igavehertwolouistogetsomelinenoutofpawn，andpromisedtocomeandseeherbeforeIleftParis，togiveherahundredcrowns，whichwouldtakeherbacktoBologna。ThenIwaitedonMadameduRumainwhohadsaidfarewelltosocietyforthreeweeks。
　　Thisladyhadanexcellentheart，andwasprettyaswell，butshehadsocuriousasociety—mannerthatsheoftenmademelaughmostheartily。ShetalkedofthesunandmoonasiftheyweretwoExaltedPersonages，towhomshewasabouttobepresented。Shewasoncediscussingwithmethestateoftheelectinheaven，andsaidthattheirgreatesthappinesswas，nodoubt，toloveGodtodistraction，forshehadnoideaofcalmandpeacefulbliss。
　　Igavehertheincenseforthefumigation，andtoldherwhatpsalmstorecite，andthenwehadadelicioussupper。Shetoldherchamber—
　　maidtoescortmeatteno’clocktoaroomonthesecondfloorwhichshehadfurnishedformewiththeutmostluxury，adding，——
　　"TakecarethattheChevalierdeSeingaltisabletocomeintomyroomatfiveo’clockto—morrow。"
　　Atnineo’clockIplacedherlegsinabathoflukewarmwater，andtaughtherhowtosuffumigate。HerlegsweremouldedbythehandoftheGracesandIwipedthemamorously，laughingwithinmyselfatherexpressionofgratitude，andIthenlaidherinbed，contentingmyselfwithasolemnkissonherprettyforehead。WhenitwasoverI
　　wentuptomyroomwhereIwaswaitedonbytheprettymaid，whoperformedherdutieswiththatgracepeculiartotheFrenchsoubrette，andtoldmethatasIhadbecomehermistress’schambermaiditwasonlyrightthatsheshouldbemyvalet。Hermirthwasinfectious，andItriedtomakehersitdownonmyknee；butshefledawaylikeadeer，tellingmethatIoughttotakecareofmyselfifIwantedtocutagoodfigureatfiveo’clockthenextday。Shewaswrong，butappearanceswerecertainlyagainstus，anditiswellknownthatservantsdonotgivetheirmastersandmistressesthebenefitofthedoubt。
　　Atfiveo’clockinthemorningIfoundMadameduRumainnearlydressedwhenIwentintoherroom，andweimmediatelywentintoanother，fromwhichtherisingsunmighthavebeenseeifthe"HoteldeBouillon"hadnotbeenintheway，butthat，ofcourse，wasamatterofnoconsequence。MadameduRumainperformedtheceremonieswithallthedignityofanancientpriestessofBaal。Shethensatdowntoherpiano，tellingmethattofindsomeoccupationforthelongmorningofninehourswouldprovethehardestofalltherules，forshedidnotdinetilltwo，whichwasthenthefashionablehour。
　　Wehadameatbreakfastwithoutcoffee，whichIhadproscribed，andI
　　lefther，promisingtocallagainbeforeIleftParis。
　　WhenIgotbacktomyinn，Ifoundmybrothertherelookingveryuneasyatmyabsenceatsuchanearlyhour。WhenIsawhimIcried，——
　　"RomeorParis，whichisittobe？"
　　"Rome，"hereplied，cringingly。
　　"Waitintheantechamber。Iwilldoyourbusinessforyou。"
　　WhenIhadfinishedIcalledhimin，andfoundmyotherbrotherandhiswife，whosaidtheyhadcometoaskmetogivethemadinner。
　　"Welcome！"saidI。"Youarecomejustintimetoseemedealwiththeabbe，whohasresolvedatlasttogotoRomeandtofollowmydirections。"
　　IsentClairmonttothediligenceoffice，andtoldhimtobookaplaceforLyons；andthenIwroteoutfivebillsofexchange，offivelouiseach，onLyons，Turin，Genoa，Florence，andRome。
　　"Whoistoassuremethatthesebillswillbehonoured？"
　　"Iassureyou，blockhead。Ifyoudon’tlikethemyoucanleavethem。"
　　ClairmontbroughttheticketforthediligenceandIgaveittotheabbe，tellinghimroughlytobegone。
　　"ButImaydinewithyou，surely？"saidhe。
　　"No，Ihavedonewithyou。GoanddinewithPossano，asyouarehisaccompliceinthehorribleattempthemadetomurderme。Clairmont，shewthismanout，andneverlethimsetfoothereagain。"
　　Nodoubtmorethanoneofmyreaderswillpronouncemytreatmentoftheabbetohavebeenbarbarous；butputtingasidethefactthatI
　　owenomananaccountofmythoughts，deeds，andwords，naturehadimplantedinmeastrongdisliketothisbrotherofmine，andhisconductasamanandapriest，and，aboveall，hisconnivancewithPossano，hadmadehimsohatefultomethatIshouldhavewatchedhimbeinghangedwiththeutmostindifference，nottosaywiththegreatestpleasure。Leteveryonehavehisownprinciplesandhisownpassions，andmyfavouritepassionhasalwaysbeenvengeance。
　　"Whatdidyoudowiththegirlheelopedwith？"saidmysister—in—
　　raw。
　　"IsentherbacktoVenicewiththeambassadorsthebetterbythirtythousandfrancs，somefinejewels，andaperfectoutfitofclothes。
　　ShetravelledinacarriageIgaveherwhichwasworthmorethantwohundredlouis。"
　　"That’sallveryfine，butyoumustmakesomeallowancefortheabbe’sgriefandrageatseeingyousleepwithher。"
　　"Fools，mydearsister，aremadetosuffersuchgrief，andmanyothersbesides。Didhetellyouthatshewouldnotlethimhaveanythingtodowithher，andthatsheusedtoboxhisears？"
　　"Onthethecontrary，hewasalwaystalkingofherloveforhim。"
　　"Hemadehimselfafinefellow，Ihavenodoubt，butthetruthis，itwasaveryuglybusiness。"
　　Afterseveralhoursofpleasantconversationmybrotherleft，andI
　　tookmysister—in—lawtotheopera。Assoonaswewerealonethispoorsisterofminebegantomakethemostbittercomplaintsofmybrother。
　　"Iamnomorehiswifenow，"saidshe，"thanIwasthenightbeforeourmarriage。"
　　"What！Stillamaid？"
　　"AsmuchamaidasatthemomentIwasborn。TheytellmeIcouldeasilyobtainadissolutionofthemarriage，butbesidesthescandalthatwouldarise，Iunhappilylovehim，andIshouldnotliketodoanythingthatwouldgivehimpain。"
　　"Youareawonderfulwoman，butwhydoyounotprovideasubstituteforhim？"
　　"IknowImightdoso，withouthavingtoenduremuchremorse，butI
　　prefertobearit。"
　　"Youareverypraiseworthy，butintheotherwaysyouarehappy？"
　　"Heisoverwhelmedwithdebt，andifIlikedtocalluponhimtogivemebackmydowryhewouldnothaveashirttohisback。Whydidhemarryme？Hemusthaveknownhisimpotence。Itwasadreadfulthingtodo。"
　　"Yes，butyoumustforgivehimforit。"
　　Shehadcauseforcomplaint，formarriagewithoutenjoymentisathornwithoutroses。Shewaspassionate，butherprincipleswerestrongerthanherpassions，orelseshewouldhavesoughtforwhatshewantedelsewhere。Myimpotentbrotherexcusedhimselfbysayingthathelovedhersowellthathethoughtcohabitationwithherwouldrestorethemissingfaculty；hedeceivedhimselfandheratthesametime。Intimeshedied，andhemarriedanotherwomanwiththesameidea，butthistimepassionwasstrongerthanvirtue，andhisnewwifedrovehimawayfromParis。Ishallsaymoreofhimintwentyyearstime。
　　Atsixo’clockthenextmorningtheabbewentoffinthediligence，andIdidnotseehimforsixyears。IspentthedaywithMadamed’Urfe，andIagreed，outwardly，thatyoungd’ArandashouldreturntoParisasapostillion。Ifixedourdepartureforthedayafternext。
　　Thefollowingday，afterdiningwithMadamed’Urfewhocontinuedtorevelinthejoysofherregeneration，IpaidavisittotheCorticelliinherasylum。Ifoundhersadandsuffering，butcontent，andwellpleasedwiththegentlenessofthesurgeonandhiswife，whotoldmetheywouldeffectaradicalcure。Igavehertwelvelouis，promisingtosendhertwelvemoreassoonasIhadreceivedaletterfromherwrittenatBologna。Shepromisedshewouldwritetome，butthepoorunfortunatewasneverabletokeepherword，forshesuccumbedtothetreatment，astheoldsurgeonwrotetome，whenIwasatLondon。HeaskedwhatheshoulddowiththetwelvelouiswhichshehadlefttooneMadameLaura，whowasperhapsknowntome。Isenthimheraddress，andthehonestsurgeonhastenedtofulfilthelastwishesofthedeceased。
　　AllthepersonswhohelpedmeinmymagicaloperationswithMadamed’Urfebetrayedme，Marcolineexcepted，andallsavethefairVenetiandiedmiserably。LateronthereaderwillhearmoreofPossanoandCosta。
　　ThedaybeforeIleftforLondonIsuppedwithMadameduRumain，whotoldmethathervoicewasalreadybeginningtoreturn。Sheaddedasagereflectionwhichpleasedmehighly。
　　"Ishouldthink，"sheobserved，"thatthecarefullivingprescribedbythecabalamusthaveagoodeffectonmyhealth。"
　　"Mostcertainly，"saidI，"andifyoucontinuetoobservetherulesyouwillkeepbothyourhealthandyourvoice。"
　　Iknewthatitisoftennecessarytodeceivebeforeonecaninstruct；
　　theshadowsmustcomebeforethedawn。
　　ItookleaveofmyworthyMadamed’UrfewithanemotionwhichIhadneverexperiencedbefore；itmusthavebeenawarningthatIshouldneverseeheragain。IassuredherthatIwouldfaithfullyobserveallmypromises，andsherepliedthatherhappinesswascomplete，andthatsheknewsheoweditalltome。Infine，Itookd’Arandaandhistop—boots，whichhewascontinuallyadmiring，tomyinn，whencewestartedintheevening，ashehadbeggedmetotravelbynight。
　　Hewasashamedtobeseeninacarriagedressedasacourier。
　　WhenwereachedAbbevilleheaskedmewherehismotherwas。
　　"Wewillseeaboutitafterdinner。"
　　"Butyoucanfindoutinamomentwhethersheishereornot？"
　　"Yes，butthereisnohurry。"
　　"Andwhatwillyoudoifsheisnothere？"
　　"Wewillgoontillwemeetherontheway。InthemeanwhileletusgoandseethefamousmanufactoryofM。Varobesbeforedinner。"
　　"Gobyyourself。Iamtired，andIwillsleeptillyoucomeback。"
　　"Verygood。"
　　Ispenttwohoursingoingoverthemagnificentestablishment，theownerhimselfshewingitme，andthenIwentbacktodinnerandcalledformyyounggentleman。
　　"HestartedforParisridingpost，"repliedtheinnkeeper，whowasalsothepost—master，"fiveminutesafteryouleft。HesaidhewasgoingaftersomedispatchesyouhadleftatParis。"
　　"Ifyoudon’tgethimbackIwillruinyouwithlaw—suits；youhadnobusinesstolethimhaveahorsewithoutmyorders。"
　　"Iwillcapturethelittlerascal，sir，beforehehasgottoAmiens。"
　　Hecalledasmart—lookingpostillion，wholaughedwhenheheardwhatwaswanted。
　　"Iwouldcatchhimup，"saidhe，"evenifhehadfourhoursstart。
　　Youshallhavehimhereatsixo’clock。"
　　"Iwillgiveyoutwolouis。"
　　"Iwouldcatchhimforthat，thoughhewereaverylark。"
　　Hewasinthesaddleinfiveminutes，andbytherateatwhichhestartedIdidnotdoubthissuccess。NeverthelessIcouldnotenjoymydinner。Ifeltsoashamedtohavebeentakeninbyaladwithoutanyknowledgeoftheworld。Ilaydownonabedandslepttillthepostillionarousedmebycominginwiththerunaway，wholookedhalfdead。Isaidnothingtohim，butgaveordersthatheshouldbelockedupinagoodroom，withagoodbedtosleepon，andagoodsupper；andItoldthelandlordthatIshouldholdhimanswerablefortheladaslongasIwasinhisinn。Thepostillionhadcaughthimupatthefifthpost，justbeforeAmiens，andashewasalreadyquitetiredoutthelittlemansurrenderedlikealamb。
　　Atday—breakIsummonedhimbeforeme，andaskedhimifhewouldcometoLondonofhisownfreewillorboundhandandfoot。
　　"Iwillcomewithyou，Igiveyoumywordofhonour；butyoumustletmerideonbeforeyou。Otherwise，withthisdressofmine，Ishouldbeashamedtogo。Idon’twantittobethoughtthatyouhadtogivechasetome，asifIhadrobbedyou。"
　　"Iacceptyourwordofhonour，butbecarefultokeepit。Embraceme，andorderanothersaddle—horse。"
　　Hemountedhishorseinhighspirits，androdeinfrontofthecarriagewithClairmont。HewasquiteastonishedtofindhistrunkatCalais，whichhereachedtwohoursbeforeme。
　　CHAPTERVII
　　MyArrivalinLondon；MadameCornelis——IAmPresentedatCourt——
　　IRentaFurnishedHouse——IMakeaLargeCircleofAcquaintance——
　　MannersoftheEnglishWhenIgottoCalaisIconsignedmypost—chaisetothecareofthelandlordoftheinn，andhiredapacket。Therewasonlyoneavailableforaprivateparty，therebeinganotherforpublicuseatsixfrancsapiece。Ipaidsixguineasinadvance，takingcaretogetaproperreceipt，forIknewthatatCalaisamanfindshimselfinanawkwardpositionifheisunabletosupporthisclaimbydocuments。
　　BeforethetidewasoutClairmontgotallmybelongingsonboard，andIorderedmysupper。ThelandlordtoldmethatlouiswerenotcurrentinEngland，andofferedtogivemeguineasinexchangeformine；butIwassurprisedwhenIfoundhegavemethesamenumberofguineasasIhadgivenhimoflouis。Iwantedhimtotakethedifference——fourpercent。——butherefused，sayingthathedidnotallowanythingwhentheEnglishgavehimguineasforlouis。Idonotknowwhetherhefoundhissystemaprofitableoneonthewhole，butitwascertainlysoforme。
　　TheyoungCountd’Aranda，towhomIhadrestoredhishumblenameofTrenti，wasquiteresigned，butproudofhavinggivenmeaspecimenofhisknowingnessbyridingpost。Wewerejustgoingtositdownattable，wellpleasedwithoneanother，whenIheardaloudconversationinEnglishgoingonnearmydoor，andminehostcameintotellmewhatitwasabout。
　　"It’sthecourieroftheDukeofBedford，theEnglishambassador，"
　　saidhe；"heannouncestheapproachofhismaster，andisdisputingwiththecaptainofthepacket。Hesayshehiredtheboatbyletter，andthatthecaptainhadnorighttoletittoyou。Themastermaintainsthathehasreceivednosuchletter，andnoonecanprovethatheistellingalie。"
　　Icongratulatedmyselfonhavingtakenthepacketandpaidtheearnest—money，andwenttobed。Atday—breakthelandlordsaidthattheambassadorhadarrivedatmidnight，andthathismanwantedtoseeme。
　　Hecameinandtoldmethatthenobleman，hismaster，wasinagreathurrytogettoLondon，andthatIshouldobligehimverymuchbyyieldingtheboattohim。
　　Ididnotansweraword，butwroteanotewhichranasfollows:
　　"Mylorddukemaydisposeofthewholeofthepacket，withtheexceptionofthespacenecessaryformyownaccommodation，thatoftwootherpersons，andmyluggage。IamdelightedtohavetheopportunityofobligingtheEnglishambassador。"
　　Thevalettookthenote，andreturnedtothankmeonbehalfofhismaster，whostipulated，however，thatheshouldbeallowedtopayforthepacket。
　　"Tellhimthatitisoutofthequestion，astheboatispaidforalready。"
　　"Hewillgiveyouthesixguineas"
　　"TellyourmasterthatIcannotallowhimtopay。Idonotbuytosellagain。"
　　Thedukecalledonmeinthecourseofhalfanhour，andsaidthatwewerebothofusintheright。
　　"However，"headded，"thereisamiddlecourse，letusadoptit，andIshallbejustasmuchindebtedtoyou。"
　　"Whatisthat，mylord？"
　　"Wewilleachpayhalf。"
　　"Mydesiretoobligeyou，mylord，willnotallowmetorefuse，butitisIwhowillbeindebtedtoyouforthehonouryourlordshipdoesme。Wewillstartassoonasyoulike，andIcanmakemyarrangementsaccordingly。"
　　Heshookmyhandandlefttheroom，andwhenhehadgoneIfoundthreeguineasonthetable。Hehadplacedthemtherewithoutmynoticingthem。AnhourafterwardsIreturnedhiscall，andthentoldthemastertotakethedukeandhiscarriagesonboard。
　　WetooktwohoursandahalfincrossingtheChannel；thewindwasstrong，butwemadeagoodpassage。
　　ThestrangerwhosetshisfootonEnglishsoilhasneedofagooddealofpatience。Thecustom—houseofficialsmadeaminute，vexatiousandevenanimpertinentperquisition；butasthedukeandambassadorhadtosubmit，Ithoughtitbesttofollowhisexample；
　　besides，resistancewouldbeuseless。TheEnglishman，whoprideshimselfonhisstrictadherencetothelawoftheland，iscurtandrudeinhismanner，andtheEnglishofficialscannotbecomparedtotheFrench，whoknowhowtocombinepolitenesswiththeexerciseoftheirrights。
　　EnglishisdifferentineveryrespectfromtherestofEurope；eventhecountryhasadifferentaspect，andthewateroftheThameshasatastepeculiartoitself。Everythinghasitsowncharacteristics，andthefish，cattle，horses，men，andwomenareofatypenotfoundinanyotherland。Theirmanneroflivingiswhollydifferentfromthatofothercountries，especiallytheircookery。Themoststrikingfeatureintheircharacteristheirnationalpride；theyexaltthemselvesaboveallothernations。
　　Myattentionwasattractedbytheuniversalcleanliness，thebeautyofthecountry，thegoodnessoftheroads，thereasonablechargesforposting，thequicknessofthehorses，althoughtheynevergobeyondatrot；andlastly，theconstructionofthetownsontheDoverroad；
　　CanterburyandRochesterforinstance，thoughlargeandpopulous，arelikelongpassages；theyarealllengthandnobreadth。
　　WegottoLondonintheeveningandstoppedatthehouseofMadameCornelis，asTheresecalledherself。ShewasoriginallymarriedtoanactornamedImer，thentothedancerPompeati，whocommittedsuicideatVenicebyrippinguphisstomachwitharazor。
　　InHollandshehadbeenknownasMadameTrenti，butatLondonshehadtakenthenameofherloverCorneliusRigerboos，whomshehadcontrivedtoruin。
　　ShelivedinSohoSquare，almostfacingthehouseoftheVenetianambassador。WhenIarrivedIfollowedtheinstructionsIhadreceivedinherlastletter。Ilefthersoninthecarriage，andsentupmyname，expectingshewouldflytomeetme；buttheportertoldmetowait，andinafewminutesaservantingrandliverybroughtmeanoteinwhichMadameCornelisaskedmetogetdownatthehousetowhichherservantwouldconductme。Ithoughtthisratherstrangebehaviour，butstillshemighthaveherreasonsforactinginthismanner，soIdidnotletmyindignationappear。Whenwegottothehouse，afatwomannamedRancour，andtwoservants，welcomedus，orratherwelcomedmyyoungfriend；fortheladyembracedhim，toldhimhowgladshewastoseehim，anddidnotappeartobeawareofmyexistence。
　　Ourtrunksweretakenin，andMadameRancourhavingascertainedwhichbelongedtoCornelis，hadthemplacedinafinesuiteofthreerooms，andsaid，pointingouttohimtheapartmentandthetwoservants，"Thisapartmentandthetwoservantsareforyou，andI，too，amyourmosthumbleservant。"
　　ClairmonttoldmethathehadputmythingsinaroomwhichcommunicatedwithCornelis’s。Iwenttoinspectit，andsawdjrectlythatIwasbeingtreatedasifIwereapersonofnoconsequence。
　　Thestormofangerwasgathering，butwonderfultorelate，Isubduedmyself，anddidnotsayaword。
　　"Whereisyourroom？"IsaidtoClairmont。
　　"Neartheroof，andIamtoshareitwithoneofthosetwoloutsyousaw。"
　　TheworthyClairmont，whoknewmydisposition，wassurprisedatthecalmwithwhichIsaid，——
　　"Takeyourtrunkthere。"
　　"ShallIopenyours？"
　　"No。Wewillseewhatcanbedoneto—morrow。"
　　Istillkeptonmymask，andreturnedtotheroomoftheyounggentlemanwhoseemedtobeconsideredasmymaster。IfoundhimlisteningwithafoolishstaretoMadameRancour，whowastellinghimofthesplendidpositionhismotheroccupied，hergreatenterprise，herimmensecredit，thesplendidhouseshehadbuilt，herthirty—
　　threeservants，hertwosecretaries，hersixhorses，hercountryhouse，etc。，etc。
　　"HowismysisterSophie？"saidtheyounggentleman。
　　"HernameisSophie，isit？SheisonlyknownasMissCornelis。Sheisabeauty，aperfectprodigy，sheplaysatsightonseveralinstruments，danceslikeTerpsichore，speaksEnglish，French，andItalianequallywell——inaword，sheisreallywonderful。Shehasagovernessandamaid。Unfortunately，sheisrathershortforherage；sheiseight。"
　　Shewasten，butasMadameRancourwasnotspeakingtomeIrefrainedfrominterruptingher。
　　MylordCornelis，whofeltverytired，askedatwhathourtheyweretosup。
　　"Atteno’clockandnotbefore，"saidtheduenna，"forMadameCornelisisalwaysengagedtillthen。Sheisalwayswithherlawyer，onaccountofanimportantlaw—suitshehasagainstSirFrederickFermer。"
　　IcouldseethatIshouldlearnnothingworthlearningbylisteningtothewoman’sgossip，soItookmyhatandcaneandwentforawalkintheimmensecity，takingcarenottolosemyway。
　　Itwasseveno’clockwhenIwentout，andaquarterofanhourafter，seeinganumberofpeopleinacoffeehouse，Ienteredit。ItwasthemostnotoriousplaceinLondon，theresortofalltherascallyItaliansintown。IhadheardofitatLyons，andhadtakenafirmresolvenevertosetfootinit，butalmightychancemademegothereunknowntomyself。Butitwasmyonlyvisit。
　　Isatdownbymyselfandcalledforaglassoflemonade，andbeforelongamancameandsatbymetoprofitbythelight。Hehadaprintedpaperinhishand，andIcouldseethatthewordswereItalian。Hehadapencilwithwhichhescratchedoutsomewordsandletters，writingthecorrectionsinthemargin。Idlecuriositymademefollowhiminhiswork，andInoticedhimcorrectingtheword’ancora’，puttinginan’h’inthemargin。Iwasirritatedbythisbarbarousspelling，andtoldhimthatforfourcenturies’ancora’hadbeenspeltwithoutan’h’。
　　"Quiteso，"saidhe，"butIamquotingfromBoccaccio，andoneshouldbeexactinquotations。"
　　"Iapologize，sir；Iseeyouareamanofletters。"
　　"Well，inasmallway。MynameisMartinelli。"
　　"Thenyouareinagreatwayindeed。Iknowyoubyrepute，andifI
　　amnotmistakenyouarearelationofCalsabigi，whohasspokenofyoutome。Ihavereadsomeofyoursatires。"
　　"MayIasktowhomIhavethehonourofspeaking？"
　　"MynameisSeingalt。HaveyoufinishedyoureditionoftheDecameron？"
　　"Iamstillatworkonit，andtryingtoincreasethenumberofmysubscribers。"
　　"IfyouwillbesokindIshouldbegladtobeofthenumber。"
　　"Youdomehonour。"
　　Hegavemeaticket，andseeingthatitwasonlyforaguineaItookfour，andtellinghimIhopedtoseehimagainatthesamecoffee—
　　house，thenameofwhichIaskedhim，hetolditme，evidentlyastonishedatmyignorance；buthissurprisevanishedwhenIinformedhimthatIhadonlybeeninLondonforanhour，andthatitwasmyfirstvisittothegreatcity。
　　"Youwillexperiencesometroubleinfindingyourwayback，"saidhe，"allowmetoaccompanyyou。"
　　Whenwehadgotouthegavemetounderstandthatchancehadledmetothe"OrangeCoffeeHouse，"themostdisreputablehouseinLondon。
　　"Butyougothere。"
　　"Yes，butIcansaywithJuvenal:
　　"’Cantabitvacuuscoramlatroneviator。’
　　"Theroguescan’thurtme；Iknowthemandtheyknowme；wenevertroubleeachother。"
　　"YouhavebeenalongtimeinLondon，Isuppose。"
　　"Fiveyears。"
　　"Ipresumeyouknowagoodmanypeople。"
　　"Yes，butIseldomwaitonanyonebutLordSpencer。Iamoccupiedwithliteraryworkandliveallbymyself。Idon’tmakemuch，butenoughtoliveon。Iliveinfurnishedapartments，andhavetwelveshirtsandtheclothesyouseeonmyback，andthatisenoughformyhappiness。
　　"’Necultradeoslacesso。’"
　　Iwaspleasedwiththishonestman，whospokeItalianwiththemostexquisitecorrectness。
　　OnthewaybackIaskedhimwhatIhadbetterdotogetacomfortablelodging。WhenheheardthestyleinwhichIwishedtoliveandthetimeIproposedtospendinLondon，headvisedmetotakeahousecompletelyfurnished。
　　"Youwillbegivenaninventoryofthegoods，"saidhe，"andassoonasyougetasuretyyourhousewillbeyourcastle。"
　　"Iliketheidea，"Ianswered，"buthowshallIfindsuchahouse？"
　　"Thatiseasilydone。"
　　Hewentintoashop，beggedthemistresstolendhimtheAdvertiser，noteddownseveraladvertisements，andsaid，——
　　"That’sallwehavetodo。"
　　ThenearesthousewasinPallMallandwewenttoseeit。Anoldwomanopenedthedoortous，andshewedusthegroundfloorandthethreefloorsabove。Eachfloorcontainedtworoomsandacloset。
　　Everythingshonewithcleanliness；linen，furniture，carpets，mirrors，andchina，andeventhebellsandtheboltsonthedoors。
　　Thenecessarylinenwaskeptinalargepress，andinanotherwasthesilverplateandseveralsetsofchina。Thearrangementsinthekitchenwereexcellent，andinaword，nothingwaslackinginthewayofcomfort。Therentwastwentyguineasaweek，and，notstoppingtobargain，whichisneverofanyuseinLondon，ItoldMartinellithatIwouldtakeitonthespot。
　　MartinellitranslatedwhatIsaidtotheoldwoman，whotoldmethatifIlikedtokeepheronashousekeeperIneednothaveasurety，andthatitwouldonlybenecessaryformetopayforeachweekinadvance。IansweredthatIwoulddoso，butthatshemustgetmeaservantwhocouldspeakFrenchorItalianaswellasEnglish。Shepromisedtogetoneinaday’stime，andIpaidherforfourweeks’
　　rentonthespot，forwhichshegavemeareceiptunderthenameoftheChevalierdeSeingalt。ThiswasthenamebywhichIwasknownduringthewholeofmystayinLondon。
　　ThusinlessthantwohoursIwascomfortablysettledinatownwhichissometimesdescribedasachaos，especiallyforastranger。ButinLondoneverythingiseasytohimwhohasmoneyandisnotafraidofspendingit。IwasdelightedtobeabletoescapesosoonfromahousewhereIwaswelcomedsoill，thoughIhadarighttothebestreception；butIwasstillmorepleasedatthechancewhichhadmademeacquaintedwithMartinelli，whomIhadknownbyreputeforsixyears。
　　WhenIgotbackMadameCornelishadnotyetarrived，thoughteno’clockhadstruck。YoungCorneliswasasleeponthesofa。Iwasenragedatthewaythewomantreatedme，butIresolvedtoputagoodfaceonit。
　　BeforelongthreeloudknocksannouncedthearrivalofMadameCornelisinasedan—chair，andIheardherascendingthestairs。Shecameinandseemedgladtoseeme，butdidnotcomeandgivemethosecaresseswhichIhadarighttoexpect。Sherantohersonandtookhimonherknee，butthesleepyboydidnotrespondtoherkisseswithanygreatwarmth。
　　"Heisverytired，likemyself，"saidI，"andconsideringthatwearetravellersinneedofrestyouhavekeptuswaitingalongtime。"
　　Idonotknowwhethershewouldhaveansweredatall，or，ifso，whatheranswerwouldhavebeen，forjustatthatmomentaservantcameinandsaidthatsupperwasready。Sheroseanddidmethehonourtotakemyarm，andwewentintoanotherroomwhichIhadnotseen。Thetablewaslaidforfour，andIwascuriousenoughtoenquirewhowasthefourthperson。
　　"Itwastohavebeenmydaughter，butIleftherbehind，aswhenI
　　toldherthatyouandherbrotherhadarrivedsheaskedmeifyouwerewell。"
　　"Andyouhavepunishedherfordoingso？"
　　"Certainly，forinmyopinionsheoughttohaveaskedforherbrotherfirstandthenforyou。Don’tyouthinkIwasright？"
　　"PoorSophie！Iamsorryforher。Gratitudehasevidentlymoreinfluenceoverherthanbloodrelationship。"
　　"Itisnotaquestionofsentiment，butofteachingyoungpersonstothinkwithpropriety。"
　　"Proprietyisoftenfarfromproper。"
　　Thewomantoldhersonthatshewasworkinghardtoleavehimafortunewhenshedied，andthatshehadbeenobligedtosummonhimtoEnglandashewasoldenoughtohelpherinherbusiness。
　　"AndhowamItohelpyou，mydearmother？"
　　"Igivetwelveballsandtwelvesupperstothenobility，andthesamenumbertothemiddleclassesintheyear。Ihaveoftenasmanyassixhundredguestsattwoguineasahead。Theexpensesareenormous，andaloneasIamImustberobbed，forIcan’tbeintwoplacesatonce。Nowthatyouarehereyoucankeepeverythingunderlockandkey，keepthebooks，payandreceiveaccounts，andseethateveryoneisproperlyattendedtoattheassemblies；infine，youwillperformthedutiesofthemaster。"
　　"AnddoyouthinkthatIcandoallthat？"
　　"Youwilleasilylearnit。"
　　"Ithinkitwillbeverydifficult。"
　　"Oneofmysecretarieswillcomeandlivewithyou，andinstructyouineverything。DuringthefirstyearyouwillonlyhavetoacquiretheEnglishlanguage，andtobepresentatmyassemblies，thatImayintroduceyoutothemostdistinguishedpeopleinLondon。YouwillgetquiteEnglishbeforelong。"
　　"IwouldratherremainFrench。"
　　"That’smereprejudice，mydear，youwilllikethesoundofMisterCornelisby—and—bye。"
　　"Cornelis？"
　　"Yes；thatisyourname。"
　　"It’saveryfunnyone。"
　　"Iwillwriteitdown，sothatyoumaynotforgetit。"Thinkingthatherdearsonwasjoking。MadameCornelislookedatmeinsomeastonishment，andtoldhimtogotobed，whichhedidinstantly。
　　Whenwewerealoneshesaidhestruckherasbadlyeducated，andtoosmallforhisage。
　　"Iamverymuchafraid，"saidshe，"thatweshallhavetobeginhiseducationalloveragain。Whathashelearntinthelastsixyears？"
　　"Hemighthavelearntagreatdeal，forhewenttothebestboardingschoolinParis；butheonlylearntwhatheliked，andwhathelikedwasnotmuch。Hecanplaytheflute，ride，fence，danceaminuet，changehisshirteveryday，answerpolitely，makeagracefulbow，talkeleganttrifles，anddresswell。Asheneverhadanyapplication，hedoesn’tknowanythingaboutliterature；hecanscarcelywrite，hisspellingisabominable，hisarithmeticlimited，andIdoubtwhetherheknowsinwhatcontinentEnglandissituated。"
　　"Hehasusedthesixyearswell，certainly。"
　　"Say，rather，hehaswastedthem；buthewillwastemanymore。"
　　"Mydaughterwilllaughathim；butthenitisIwhohavehadthecareofhereducation。Hewillbeashamedwhenhefindshersowellinstructedthoughsheisonlyeight。"
　　"Hewillneverseeherateight，ifIknowanythingofreckoning；sheisfullyten。"
　　"IthinkIoughttoknowtheageofmyowndaughter。Sheknowsgeography，history，languages，andmusic；shearguescorrectly，andbehavesinamannerwhichissurprisinginsoyoungachild。Alltheladiesareinlovewithher。Ikeepherataschoolofdesignallday；sheshewsagreattastefordrawing。ShedineswithmeonSundays，andifyouwouldcaretocometodinnernextSundayyouwillconfessthatIhavenotexaggeratedhercapacities。"
　　ItwasMonday。Isaidnothing，butIthoughtitstrangethatshedidnotseemtoconsiderthatIwasimpatienttoseemydaughter。Sheshouldhaveaskedmetomeetheratsupperthefollowingevening。
　　"Youarejustintime，"saidshe，"towitnessthelastassemblyoftheyear；forinafewweeksallthenobilitywillleavetowninordertopassthesummerinthecountry。Ican’tgiveyouaticket，astheyareonlyissuedtothenobility，butyoucancomeasmyfriendandkeepclosetome。Youwillseeeverything。IfIamaskedwhoyouare，IwillsaythatyouhavesuperintendedtheeducationofmysoninParis，andhavebroughthimbacktome。"
　　"Youdometoomuchhonour。"
　　Wecontinuedtalkingtilltwoo’clockinthemorning，andshetoldmeallaboutthesuitshehadwithSirFrederickFermer。Hemaintainedthatthehouseshehadbuiltatacostoftenthousandguineasbelongedtohimashehadfurnishedthemoney。Inequityhewasright，butaccordingtoEnglishlawwrong，foritwasshewhohadpaidtheworkmen，thecontractors，andthearchitect；itwasshethathadgivenandreceivedreceipts，andsignedalldocuments。Thehouse，therefore，belongedtoher，andFermeradmittedasmuch；butheclaimedthesumhehadfurnished，andherewasthekernelofthewholecase，forshehaddefiedhimtoproduceasingleacknowledgmentofmoneyreceived。
　　"Iconfess，"saidthishonestwoman，"thatyouhaveoftengivenmeathousandpoundsatatime，butthatwasafriendlygift，andnothingtobewonderedatinarichEnglishman，consideringthatwewereloversandlivedtogether。"
　　Shehadwonhersuitfourtimesoverintwoyears，butFermertookadvantageoftheintricaciesofEnglishlawtoappealagainandagain，andnowhehadgonetotheHouseofLords，theappealtowhichmightlastfifteenyears。
　　"Thissuit，"saidthehonestlady，"dishonoursFermer。"
　　"Ishouldthinkitdid，butyousurelydon’tthinkithonoursyou。"
　　"CertainlyIdo。"
　　"Idon’tquiteunderstandhowyoumakethatout。"
　　"Iwillexplainitalltoyou。"
　　"Wewilltalkitoveragain"
　　InthethreehoursforwhichwetalkedtogetherthiswomandidnotonceaskmehowIwas，whetherIwascomfortable，howlongIintendedtostayinLondon，orwhetherIhadmademuchmoney。Inshortshemadenoenquirieswhateveraboutme，onlysayingwithasmile，butnotheedlessly，——
　　"Ineverhaveapennytospare。"
　　Herreceiptsamountedtomorethantwenty—fourthousandpoundsperannum，butherexpenseswereenormousandshehaddebts。
　　Iavengedmyselfonherindifferencebynotsayingawordaboutmyself。Iwasdresssedsimplybutneatly，andhadnotanyjewellryordiamondsaboutmyperson。
　　Iwenttobedannoyedwithher，butgladtohavediscoveredthebadnessofherheart。InspiteofmylongingtoseemydaughterI
　　determinednottotakeanystepstomeethertilltheensuingSunday，whenIwasinvitedtodinner。
　　EarlynextmorningItoldClairmonttopullallmygoodsandchattelsinacarriage，andwhenallwasreadyIwenttotakeleaveofyoungCornelis，tellinghimIwasgoingtoliveinPallMall，andleavinghimmyaddress。
　　"Youarenotgoingtostaywithme，then？"saidhe。
　　"No，yourmotherdoesn’tknowhowtowelcomeortotreatme。"
　　"Ithinkyouareright。IshallgobacktoParis。"
　　"Don’tdoanythingsosilly。Rememberthathereyouareathome，andthatinParisyoumightnotfindarooftoshelteryou。Farewell；I
　　shallseeyouonSunday。"
　　Iwassoonsettledinmynewhouse，andIwentouttocallonM。
　　Zuccato，theVenetianambassador。IgavehimM。Morosini’sletter，andhesaid，coldly，thathewasgladtomakemyacquaintance。WhenIaskedhimtopresentmeatCourttheinsolentfoolonlyrepliedwithasmile，whichmightfairlybedescribedascontemptuous。Itwasthearistocraticpridecomingout，soIreturnedhissmilewithacoldbow，andneversetfootinhishouseagain。
　　OnleavingZuccatoIcalledonLordEgremont，andfindinghimillleftmyletterwiththeporter。Hediedafewdaysafter，soM。
　　Morosini’sletterswerebothuselessthroughnofaultofhis。Weshalllearnpresentlywhatwastheresultofthelittlenote。
　　IthenwenttotheComtedeGuerchi，theFrenchambassador，withaletterfromtheMarquisChauvelin，andIreceivedawarmwelcome。
　　Thisnoblemanaskedmetodinewithhimthefollowingday，andtoldmethatifIlikedhewouldpresentmeatCourtafterchapelonSunday。Itwasatthatambassador’stablethatImadetheacquaintanceoftheChevalierd’Eon，thesecretaryoftheembassy，whoafterwardsbecamefamous。ThisChevalierd’Eonwasahandsomewomanwhohadbeenanadvocateandacaptainofdragoonsbeforeenteringthediplomaticservice；sheservedLouisXV。asavaliantsoldierandadiplomatistofconsummateskill。InspiteofhermanlywaysIsoonrecognizedherasawoman；hervoicewasnotthatofacastrato，andhershapewastooroundedtobeaman’s。Isaynothingoftheabsenceofhaironherface，asthatmightbeanaccident。
　　InthefirstdaysofmystayinLondonImadetheacquaintanceofmybankers；whoheldatleastthreehundredthousandfrancsofmymoney。
　　Theyallhonouredmydraftsandofferedtheirservicestome，butI
　　didnotmakeuseoftheirgoodoffices。
　　IvisitedthetheatresofCoventGardenandDruryLane，butIcouldnotextractmuchenjoymentoutoftheperfomancesasIdidnotknowawordofEnglish。Idinedatallthetaverns，highandlow，togetsomeinsightintothepeculiarmannersoftheEnglish。InthemorningIwenton’Change，whereImadesomefriends。ItwastherethatamerchanttowhomIspokegotmeaNegroservantwhospokeEnglish，French，andItalianwithequalfacility；andthesameindividualprocuredmeacookwhospokeFrench。Ialsovisitedthebagnioswherearichmancansup，bathe，andsleepwithafashionablecourtezan，ofwhichspeciestherearemanyinLondon。Itmakesamagnificentdebauchandonlycostssixguineas。Theexpensemaybereducedtoahundredfrancs，buteconomyinpleasureisnottomytaste。
　　OnSundayImadeaneleganttoiletteandwenttoCourtabouteleven，andmettheComtedeGuerchiaswehadarranged。HeintroducedmetoGeorgeIII。，whospoketome，butinsuchalowvoicethatIcouldnotunderstandhimandhadtoreplybyabow。Thequeenmadeupfortheking，however，andIwasdelightedtoobservethattheproudambassadorfrommybelovedVenicewasalsopresent。WhenM。deGuerchiintroducedmeunderthenameoftheChevalierdeSeingalt，Zuccatolookedastonished，forMr。MorosinihadcalledmeCasanovainhisletter。ThequeenaskedmefromwhatpartofFranceIcame，andunderstandingfrommyanswerthatIwasfromVenice，shelookedattheVenetianambassador，whobowedasiftosaythathehadnoobjectiontomake。HerMajestythenaskedmeifIknewtheambassadorsextraordinary，whohadbeensenttocongratulatetheking，andIrepliedthatIhadthepleasureofknowingthemintimately，andthatIhadspentthreedaysintheirsocietyatLyons，whereM。MorosinigavemelettersformyLordd’EgremontandM。Zuccato。