Hewastheauthorofallthepamphletsthathadbeenwrittenonthesubjectofmortmain；andashewasanintimatefriendoftheambassador’s，M。MocenigohadfurnishedhimwithanaccountoftheproceedingsoftheVenetianRepublicagainstthemonks。HemighthavedispensedwiththissourceofinformationifhehadreadthewritingsofFatherPaulSarpionthesamesubject。Quick—sighted，firm，withthecourageofhisopinions，CampomaneswasthefiscaloftheSupremeCouncilofCastille，ofwhichArandawaspresident。Everyoneknewhimtobeathoroughlyhonestman，whoactedsolelyforthegoodoftheState。Thusstatesmenandofficialshadwarmfeelingsofrespectforhim，whilethemonksandbigotshatedthesoundofhisname，andtheInquisitionhadsworntobehisruin。Itwassaidopenlythathewouldeitherbecomeabishoporperishinthecellsoftheholybrotherhood。Theprophecywasonlypartlyfulfilled。FouryearsaftermyvisittoSpainhewasincarceratedinthedungeonsoftheInquisition，butheobtainedhisreleaseafterthreeyears’confinementbydoingpublicpenance。TheleprosywhicheatsouttheheartofSpainisnotyetcured。Olavideswasstillmoreharshlytreated，andevenArandawouldhavefallenavictimifhehadnothadthegoodsensetoaskthekingtosendhimtoFranceashisambassador。Thekingwasverygladtodoso，asotherwisehewouldhavebeenforcedtodeliverhimuptotheinfuriatedmonks。
　　CharlesIII。（whodiedamadman）wasaremarkablecharacter。Hewasasobstinateasamule，asweakasawoman，asgrossasaDutchman，andathorough—pacedbigot。Itwasnowonderthathebecamethetoolofhisconfessor。
　　AtthetimeofwhichIamspeakingthecabinetofMadridwasoccupiedinacuriousscheme。AthousandCatholicfamilieshadbeenenticedfromSwitzerlandtoformacolonyinthebeautifulbutdesertedregioncalledtheSierraMorena，wellknownalloverEuropebyitsmentioninDonQuixote。Natureseemedtheretohavelavishedallhergifts；theclimatewasperfect，thesoilfertile，andstreamsofallkindswateredtheland，butinspiteofallitwasalmostdepopulated。
　　Desiringtochangethisstateofthings，hisCatholicmajestyhaddecidedtomakeapresentofalltheagriculturalproductsforacertainnumberofyearstoindustriouscolonists。HehadconsequentlyinvitedtheSwissCatholics，andhadpaidtheirexpensesforthejourney。TheSwissarrived，andtheSpanishgovernmentdiditsbesttoprovidethemwithlodgingandspiritualandtemporalsuperintendence。Olavideswasthesoulofthisscheme。Heconferredwiththeministerstoprovidethenewpopulationwithmagistrates，priests，agovernor，craftsmenofallkindstobuildchurchesandhouses，andespeciallyabull—ring，anecessityfortheSpaniards，butaperfectlyuselessprovisionasfarasthesimpleSwisswereconcerned。
　　InthedocumentswhichDonPabloOlavideshadcomposedonthesubjecthedemonstratedtheinexpediencyofestablishinganyreligiousordersinthenewcolony，butifhecouldhaveprovedhisopiniontobecorrectwithfootandrulehewouldnonethelesshavedrawnonhisheadtheimplacablehatredofthemonks，andofthebishopinwhosediocesethenewcolonywassituated。ThesecularclergysupportedOlavides，butthemonkscriedoutagainsthisimpiety，andastheInquisitionwaseminentlymonkishinitssympathiespersecutionhadalreadybegun，andthiswasoneofthesubjectsofconversationatthedinneratwhichIwaspresent。
　　Ilistenedtothearguments，sensibleandotherwise，whichwereadvanced，andIfinallygavemyopinion，asmodestlyasIcould，thatinafewyearsthecolonywouldbanishlikesmoke；andthisforseveralreasons。
　　"TheSwiss，"Isaid，"areaverypeculiarpeople；ifyoutransplantthemtoaforeignshore，theylanguishanddie；theybecomeapreytohome—
　　sickness。WhenthisoncebeginsinaSwitzer，theonlythingistotakehimhometothemountain，thelake，orthevalley，wherehewasborn，orelsehewillinfalliblydie。"
　　"Itwouldbewise，Ithink，"Icontinued，"toendeavourtocombineaSpanishcolonywiththeSwisscolony，soastoeffectaminglingofraces。Atfirst，atallevents，theirrules，bothspiritualandtemporal，shouldbeSwiss，and，aboveall，youwouldhavetoinsurethemcompleteimmunityfromtheInquisition。TheSwisswhohasbeenbredinthecountryhaspeculiarcustomsandmannersoflove—making，ofwhichtheSpanishChurchmightnotexactlyapprove；buttheleastattempttorestraintheirlibertyinthisrespectwouldimmediatelybringaboutageneralhome—sickness。"
　　AtfirstOlavidesthoughtIwasjoking，buthesoonfoundoutthatmyremarkshadsomesenseinthem。Hebeggedmetowriteoutmyopinionsonthesubject，andtogivehimthebenefitofmyknowledge。Ipromisedtodoso，andMengsfixedadayforhimtocomeanddinewithmeathishouse。
　　ThenextdayImovedmyhouseholdgoodstoMengs’shouse，andbeganmyphilosophicalandphysiologicaltreatiseonthecolony。
　　IcalledonDonEmmanueldeRoda，whowasamanofletters，a’raraaves’
　　inSpain。HelikedLatinpoetry，hadreadsomeItalian，butverynaturallygavethepalmtotheSpanishpoets。Hewelcomedmewarmly，beggedmetocomeandseehimagain，andtoldmehowsorryhehadbeenatmyunjustimprisonment。
　　TheDukeofLossadacongratulatedmeonthewayinwhichtheVenetianambassadorspokeofmeeverywhere，andencouragedmeinmyideaofgettingsomeplaceunderGovernment，promisingtogivemehissupportinthematter。
　　ThePrincedellaCatolica，invitedmetodinnerwiththeVenetianambassador；andinthecourseofthreeweeksIhadmadeagreatnumberofvaluableacquaintances。IthoughtseriouslyofseekingemploymentinSpain，asnothavingheardfromLisbonIdarednotgothereonthechanceoffindingsomethingtodo。IhadnotreceivedanylettersfromPaulineoflate，andhadnoideaastowhathadbecomeofher。
　　IpassedagoodmanyofmyeveningswithaSpanishlady，namedSabatini，whogave’tertullas’orassemblies，frequentedchieflybyfifth—rateliterarymen。IalsovisitedtheDukeofMedina—Sidonia，awell—readandintelligentman，towhomIhadbeenpresentedbyDonDomingoVarnier，oneofthegentlemenoftheking’schamber，whomIhadmetatMengs’shouse。
　　IpaidagoodmanyvisitstoDonnaIgnazia，butasIwasneverleftalonewithherthesevisitsbecametiresome。WhenIsuggestedapartyofpleasurewithherandhercousins，sherepliedthatshewouldlikeitasmuchasI，butasitwasLentandnearHolyWeek，inwhichGoddiedforoursalvation，itwasmorefittothinkofpenancethanpleasure。AfterEaster，shesaid，wemightconsiderthematter。IgnaziawasaperfectexampleoftheyoungSpanishdevotee。
　　Afortnightafter，theKingandCourtleftMadridforAranjuez。
　　M。deMocenigoaskedmetocomeandstaywithhim，ashewouldbeabletopresentmeatCourt。Asmaybeimagined，Ishouldhavebeenonlytoogladtoaccept，butontheeveofmydeparture，asIwasdrivingwithMengs，Iwassuddenlyseizedwithafever，andwasconvulsedsoviolentlythatmyheadwasdashedagainstthecarriagewindow，whichitshiveredtofragments。Mengsorderedthecoachmantodrivehome，andIwasputtobed。InfourhoursIwasseizedwithasweatingfit，whichlastedfortenortwelvehours。Thebedandtwomattressesweresoakedthroughwithmyperspiration，whichdrippedontothefloorbeneath。Thefeverabatedinforty—eighthours，butleftmeinsuchastateofweaknessthatIwaskepttomybedforawholeweek，andcouldnotgotoAranjueztillHolySaturday。Theambassadorwelcomedmewarmly，butonthenightIarrivedasmalllumpwhichIhadfeltinthecourseofthedaygrewaslargeasanegg，andIwasunabletogotomassonEasterDay。
　　Infivedaystheexcrescencebecameaslargeasanaveragemelon，muchtotheamazementofManucciandtheambassador，andevenoftheking’ssurgeon，aFrenchmanwhodeclaredhehadneverseenthelikebefore。I
　　wasnotalarmedpersonally，for，asIsufferednopainandthelumpwasquitesoft，Iguesseditwasonlyacollectionoflymph，theremainderoftheevilhumourswhichIhadsweatedawayinthefever。Itoldthesurgeonthehistoryofthefeverandbeggedhimtolancetheabscess，whichhedid，andforfourdaystheopeningdischargedanalmostincredibleamountofmatter。Onthefifthdaythewoundwasalmosthealed，buttheexhaustionhadleftmesoweakthatIcouldnotleavemybed。
　　SuchwasmysituationwhenIreceivedaletterfromMengs。Itisbeforemeatthepresentmoment，andIgivebelowatruecopy:
　　"YesterdaytherectoroftheparishinwhichIresideaffixedtothechurch—dooralistofthoseofhisparishionerswhoareAtheistsandhaveneglectedtheirEasterduties。Amongstthemyournamefiguresinfull，andtheaforesaidrectorhasreproachedmebitterlyforharbouringaheretic。Ididnotknowwhatanswertomake，forIfeelsurethatyoucouldhavestoppedinMadridadaylongertodischargethedutiesofaChristian，evenifitwereonlyoutofregardforme。ThedutyIowetotheking，mymaster，thecareIamboundtotakeofmyreputation，andmyfearsofbeingmolested，allmakemerequestyoutolookuponmyhouseasyoursnolonger。WhenyoureturntoMadridyoumaygowhereyouwill，andmyservantsshalltransportyoureffectstoyournewabode。
　　"Iam，etc。，"ANTONIORAPHAELMENGS。"
　　Iwassoannoyedbythisrude，brutal，andungratefulletter，thatifI
　　hadnotbeensevenleaguesfromMadrid，andinastateoftheutmostweakness，Mengsshouldhavesufferedforhisinsolence。Itoldthemessengerwhohadbroughtittobegone，butherepliedthathehadorderstoawaitmyreply。Icrushedtheletterinmyhandandflungitathisface，saying，——
　　"GoandtellyourunworthymasterwhatIdidwithhisletter，andtellhimthatistheonlyanswerthatsuchaletterdeserves。"
　　Theinnocentmessengerwenthiswayingreatamazement。
　　Myangergavemestrength，andhavingdressedmyselfandsummonedasedan—chairIwenttochurch，andwasconfessedbyaGreyFriar，andatsixo’clockthenextmorningIreceivedtheSacrament。
　　MyconfessorwaskindenoughtogivemeacertificatetotheeffectthatIhadbeenobligedtokeepmybedsincemyarrival’alsitio’，andthatinspiteofmyextremeweaknessIhadgonetochurch，andhadconfessedandcommunicatedlikeagoodChristian。Healsotoldmethenameofthepriestwhohadaffixedthepapercontainingmynametothedoorofthechurch。
　　WhenIreturnedtotheambassador’shouseIwrotetothispriest，tellinghimthatthecertificateenclosedwouldinformhimastomyreasonsfornotcommunicating。Iexpressedahopethat，beingsatisfiedofmyorthodoxy，hewouldnotdelayinremovingmynamefromhischurch—doors，andIconcludedbybegginghimtohandtheenclosedlettertotheChevalierMengs。
　　TothepainterIwrotethatIfeltthatIhaddeservedtheshamefulinsulthehadgivenmebymygreatmistakeinaccedingtohisrequesttohonourhimbystayinginhishouse。However，asagoodChristianwhohadjustreceivedtheHolyCommunion，Itoldhimthathisbrutalbehaviourwasforgiven；butIbadehimtotaketohearttheline，wellknowntoallhonestpeople，anddoubtlessunknowntohim:
　　’Turpiusejiciturquamnonadmittiturhospes。’
　　AftersendingtheletterItoldtheambassadorwhathadhappened，towhichhereplied，——
　　"Iamnotatallsurprisedatwhatyoutellme。Mengsisonlylikedforhistalentsinpainting；ineverythingelseheiswellknowntobelittlebetterthanafool。"
　　Asamatteroffacthehadonlyaskedmetostaywithhimtogratifyhisownvanity。HeknewthatallthetownwastalkingofmyimprisonmentandofthesatisfactiontheCountofArandahadaccordedme，andhewantedpeopletothinkthathisinfluencehadobtainedthefavourthathadbeenshewnme。Indeed，hehadsaidinamomentofexaltationthatIshouldhavecompelledtheAlcadeMessatoescortmenottomyownhousebuttohis，asitwasinhishousethatIhadbeenarrested。
　　Mengswasanexceedinglyambitiousandaveryjealousman；hehatedallhisbrotherpainters。Hiscolouranddesignwereexcellent，buthisinventionwasveryweak，andinventionisasnecessarytoagreatpainterasagreatpoet。
　　Ihappenedtosaytohimoneday，"Justaseverypoetshouldbeapainter，soeverypaintershouldbeapoet；"andhegotquiteangry，thinkingthatIwasalludingtohisweaknessofimagination，whichhefeltbutwouldnotacknowledge。
　　Hewasanignorantman，andlikedtopassforascholar；hesacrificedtoBacchusandComus，andwouldfainbethoughtsober；hewaslustful，bad—
　　tempered，envious，andmiserly，butyetwouldbeconsideredavirtuousman。Helovedhardwork，andthisforcedhimtoabstain，asarule，fromdinner，ashedranksoinordinatelyatthatmealthathecoulddonothingafterit。Whenhedinedouthehadtodrinknothingbutwater，soasnottocompromisehisreputationfortemperance。Hespokefourlanguages，andallbadly，andcouldnotevenwritehisnativetonguewithcorrectness；andyetheclaimedperfectionforhisgrammarandorthography，asforallhisotherqualities。WhileIwasstayingwithhimIbecameacquaintedwithsomeofhisweakpoints，andendeavouredtocorrectthem，atwhichhetookgreatoffence。Thefellowwrithedunderasenseofobligationtome。OnceIpreventedhissendingapetitiontotheCourt，whichthekingwouldhaveseen，andwhichwouldhavemadeMengsridiculous。Insigninghisnamehehadwritten’elmasinclito’，wishingtosayyourmosthumble。Ipointedouttohimthat’elmasinclito’meantthemostillustrious，andthattheSpanishfortheexpressionhewantedwas’elmashumilde’。Theproudfoolwasquiteenraged，tellingmethatheknewSpanishbetterthanI，butwhenthedictionarywassearchedhehadtoswallowthebitterpillofconfessinghimselfinthewrong。
　　AnothertimeIsuppressedaheavyandstupidcriticismofhisonsomeonewhohadmaintainedthattherewerenomonumentsstillexistingoftheantediluvianperiod。MengsthoughthewouldconfoundtheauthorbycitingtheremainsoftheTowerofBabel——adoublepieceoffolly，forinthefirstplacetherearenosuchremains，andinthesecond，theTowerofBabelwasapost—diluvianbuilding。
　　Hewasalsolargelygiventothediscussionofmetaphysicalquestions，onwhichhisknowledgewassimplynil，andafavouritepursuitofhiswasdefiningbeautyintheabstract，andwhenhewasonthistopicthenonsensehetalkedwassomethingdreadful。
　　Mengswasaverypassionateman，andwouldsometimesbeathischildrenmostcruelly。MorethanonceIhaverescuedhispoorsonsfromhisfurioushands。Heboastedthathisfather，abadBohemianartist，hadbroughthimupwiththestick。Thus，hesaid，hehadbecomeagreatpainter，andhewishedhisownchildrentoenjoythesameadvantages。
　　Hewasdeeplyoffendedwhenhereceivedaletter，ofwhichtheaddressomittedhistitleofchevalier，andhisname，Rafael。OnedayIventuredtosaythatthesethingswerebuttriflesafterall，andthatIhadtakennooffenceathisomittingthechevalieronthelettershehadwrittentome，thoughIwasaknightofthesameorderashimself。Heverywiselymadenoanswer；buthisobjectiontotheomissionofhisbaptismalnamewasaveryridiculousone。HesaidhewascalledAntonioafterAntonioCorreggio，andRafaelafterRafaeldaUrbino，andthatthosewhoomittedthesenames，oreitherofthem，implicitlydeniedhispossessionofthequalitiesofboththesegreatpainters。
　　OnceIdaredtotellhimthathehadmadeamistakeinthehandofoneofhisfigures，astheringfingerwasshorterthantheindex。Herepliedsharplythatitwasquiteright，andshewedmehishandbywayofproof。
　　Ilaughed，andshewedhimmyhandinreturn，sayingthatIwascertainthatmyhandwasmadelikethatofallthedescendantsofAdam。
　　"ThenwhomdoyouthinkthatIamdescendedfrom？"
　　"Idon’tknow，butyouarecertainlynotofthesamespeciesasmyself。"
　　"Youmeanyouarenotofmyspecies；allwell—madehandsofmen，andwomentoo，arelikemineandnotlikeyours。"
　　"I’llwagerahundreddoubloonsthatyouareinthewrong。"
　　Hegotup，threwdownbrushesandpalette，andranguphisservants，saying，——
　　"Weshallseewhichisright。"
　　Theservantscame，andonexaminationhefoundthatIwasright。Foronceinhislife，helaughedandpasseditoffasajoke，saying，——
　　"IamdelightedthatIcanboastofbeinguniqueinoneparticular，atallevents。"
　　HereImustnoteanotherverysensibleremarkofhis。
　　HehadpaintedaMagdalen，whichwasreallywonderfullybeautiful。Fortendayshehadsaideverymorning，"Thepicturewillbefinishedto—
　　night。"AtlastItoldhimthathehadmadeamistakeinsayingitwouldbefinished，ashewasstillworkingonit。
　　"No，Ihavenot，"hereplied，"ninety—nineconnoisseursoutofahundredwouldhavepronounceditfinishedlongago，butIwantthepraiseofthehundredthman。There’snotapictureintheworldthatcanbecalledfinishedsaveinarelativesense；thisMagdalenwillnotbefinishedtillIstopworkingatit，andthenitwillbeonlyfinishedrelatively，forifIweretogiveanotherday’sworktoititwouldbemorefinishedstill。NotoneofPetrarch’ssonnetsisareallyfinishedproduction；
　　no，noranyotherman’ssonnets。Nothingthatthemindofmancanconceiveisperfect，saveitbeamathematicaltheorem。"
　　Iexpressedmywarmapprovaloftheexcellentwayinwhichhehadspoken。
　　HewasnotsosensibleanothertimewhenheexpressedawishtohavebeenRaphael。
　　"Hewassuchagreatpainter。"
　　"Certainly，"saidI，"butwhatcanyoumeanbywishingyouhadbeenRaphael？Thisisnotsense；ifyouhadbeenRaphael，youwouldnolongerbeexisting。ButperhapsyouonlymeanttoexpressawishthatyouweretastingthejoysofParadise；inthatcaseIwillsaynomore。"
　　"No，no；ImeanIwouldhavelikedtohavebeenRaphaelwithouttroublingmyselfaboutexistingnow，eitherinsoulorbody。"
　　"Reallysuchadesireisanabsurdity；thinkitover，andyouwillseeitforyourself。"
　　Heflewintoarage，andabusedmesoheartilythatIcouldnothelplaughing。
　　Anothertimehemadeacomparisonbetweenatragicauthorandapainter，ofcoursetotheadvantageofthelatter。
　　Ianalysedthemattercalmly，shewinghimthatthepainter’slabouristoagreatextentpurelymechanical，andcanbedonewhilstengagedincasualtalk；whilstawell—writtentragedyistheworkofgeniuspureandsimple。Therefore，thepoetmustbeimmeasurablysuperiortothepainter。
　　"Findmeifyoucan，"saidI，"apoetwhocanorderhissupperbetweenthelinesofhistragedy，ordiscusstheweatherwhilstheiscomposingepicverses。"
　　WhenMengswasbeateninanargument，insteadofacknowledginghisdefeat，heinvariablybecamebrutalandinsulting。Hediedattheageoffifty，andisregardedbyposterityasaStoicphilosopher，ascholar，andacompendiumofallthevirtues；andthisopinionmustbeascribedtoafinebiographyofhiminroyalquarto，choicelyprinted，anddedicatedtotheKingofSpain。Thispanegyricisameretissueoflies。Mengswasagreatpainter，andnothingelse；andifhehadonlyproducedthesplendidpicturewhichhangsoverthehighaltarofthechapelroyalatDresden，hewoulddeserveeternalfame，thoughindeedheisindebtedtothegreatRaphaelfortheideaofthepainting。
　　WeshallhearmoreofMengswhenIdescribemymeetingwithhimatRome，twoorthreeyearslater。
　　IwasstillweakandconfinedtomyroomwhenManuccicametome，andproposedthatIshouldgowithhimtoToledo。
　　"Theambassador，"hesaid，"isgoingtogiveagrandofficialdinnertotheambassadorsoftheotherpowers，andasIhavenotbeenpresentedatCourtIamexcludedfrombeingpresent。However，ifItravel，myabsencewillnotgiverisetoanyremarks。Weshallbebackinfiveorsixdays。"
　　IwasdelightedtohavethechanceofseeingToledo，andofmakingthejourneyinacomfortablecarriage，soIaccepted。Westartedthenextmorning，andreachedToledointheeveningofthesameday。ForSpainwewerelodgedcomfortablyenough，andthenextdaywewentoutunderthechargeofacicerone，whotookustotheAlcazar，theLouvreofToledo，formerlythepalaceoftheMoorishkings。Afterwardsweinspectedthecathedral，whichiswellworthyofavisit，onaccountoftherichesitcontains。IsawthegreattabernacleusedonCorpusChristi。Itismadeofsilver，andissoheavythatitrequiresthirtystrongmentoliftit。
　　TheArchbishopofToledohasthreehundredthousanddurosayear，andhisclergyhavefourhundredthousand，amountingtotwomillionfrancsinFrenchmoney。Oneofthecanons，ashewasshewingmetheurnscontainingtherelics，toldmethatoneofthemcontainedthethirtypiecesofsilverforwhichJudasbetrayedourLord。Ibeggedhimtoletmeseethem，towhichherepliedseverelythatthekinghimselfwouldnothavedaredtoexpresssuchindecentcuriosity。
　　Ihastenedtoapologise，begginghimnottotakeoffenceatastranger’sheedlessquestions；andthisseemedtocalmhisanger。
　　TheSpanishpriestsareabandofknaves，butonehastotreatthemwithmorerespectthanonewouldpaytohonestmenelsewhere。Thefollowingdaywewereshewnthemuseumofnaturalhistory。Itwasratheradullexhibition；but，atallevents，onecouldlaughatitwithoutexcitingthewrathofthemonksandtheterrorsoftheInquisition。Wewereshewn，amongstotherwonders，astuffeddragon，andthemanwhoexhibiteditsaid，——
　　"Thisproves，gentlemen，thatthedragonisnotafabulousanimal；"butI
　　thoughttherewasmoreofartthannatureaboutthebeast。Hethenshewedusabasilisk，butinsteadofslayinguswithaglanceitonlymadeuslaugh。Thegreatestwonderofall，however，wasnothingelsethanaFreemason’sapron，which，asthecuratorverysagelydeclared，provedtheexistenceofsuchanorder，whateversomemightsay。
　　Thejourneyrestoredmetohealth，andwhenIreturnedtoAranjuez，I
　　proceededtopaymycourttoalltheministers。TheambassadorpresentedmetoMarquisGrimaldi，withwhomIhadsomeconversationsonthesubjectoftheSwisscolony，whichwasgoingonbadly。IreiteratedmyopinionthatthecolonyshouldbecomposedofSpaniards。
　　"Yes，"saidhe，"butSpainisthinlypeopledeverywhere，andyourplanwouldamounttoimpoverishingonedistricttomakeanotherrich。"
　　"Notatall，forifyoutooktenpersonswhoaredyingofpovertyintheAsturias，andplacedthemintheSierraMorena，theywouldnotdietilltheyhadbegottenfiftychildren。Thisfiftywouldbegettwohundredandsoon。"
　　Myschemewaslaidbeforeacommission，andthemarquispromisedthatI
　　shouldbemadegovernorofthecolonyiftheplanwasaccepted。
　　AnItalianOperaComiquewasthenamusingtheCourt，withtheexceptionoftheking，whohadnotasteformusic。Hismajestyboreaconsiderableresemblancetoasheepintheface，anditseemedasifthelikenesswentdeeper，forsheephavenottheslightestideaofsound。Hisfavouritepursuitwassport，andthereasonwillbegivenlateron。
　　AnItalianmusicianattheCourtdesiredtocomposesomemusicforanewopera，andastherewasnotimetosendtoItalyIofferedtocomposethelibretto。Myofferwasaccepted，andbythenextdaythefirstactwasready。Themusicwascomposedinfourdays，andtheVenetianambassadorinvitedalltheministerstotherehearsalinthegrandhallofhispalace。Themusicwaspronouncedexquisite；thetwootheractswerewritten，andinafortnighttheoperawasputuponthestage。Themusicianwasrewardedhandsomely，butIwasconsideredtoograndtoworkformoneyandmyrewardwaspaidmeintheCourtmoneyofcompliments。
　　However，Iwasgladtoseethattheambassadorwasproudofmeandthattheminister’sesteemformeseemedincreased。
　　InwritingthelibrettoIhadbecomeacquaintedwiththeactresses。ThechiefofthemwasaRomannamedPelliccia，neitherprettynorugly，withaslightsquint，andbutmoderatetalents。Heryoungersisterwasprettyifnothandsome；butnoonecaredfortheyounger，whiletheelderwasauniversalfavourite。Herexpressionwaspleasant，hersmiledelightful，andhermannersmostcaptivating。Herhusbandwasanindifferentpainter，plain—looking，andmorelikeherservantthanherhusband。Hewasindeedherveryhumbleservant，andshetreatedhimwithgreatkindness。Thefeelingssheinspiredmewithwerenotlove，butasincererespectandfriendship。Iusedtovisithereveryday，andwroteversesforhertosingtotheRomanairsshedeliveredsogracefully。
　　OnoneofthedaysofrehearsalsIwaspointingouttoherthevariousgreatpersonageswhowerepresent。Themanagerofthecompany，Marescalchibyname，hadenteredintoanarrangementwiththeGovernorofValentiatobringthecompanythereinSeptembertoplaycomicoperainasmalltheatrewhichhadbeenbuiltonpurpose。ItalianoperahadhithertoneverbeenpresentedatValentia，andMarecalchihopedtomakeagooddealofmoneythere。MadamePellicciaknewnobodyinValentia，andwantedaletterofintroductiontosomeonethere。SheaskedmeifI
　　thoughtshecouldventuretoasktheVenetianambassadortodoherthefavour，butIadvisedhertotrytheDukeofArcos。
　　"Whereishe？"
　　"Thatgentlemanwhoislookinginyourdirectionnow。"
　　"HowcanIdaretoaskhim？"
　　"Heisatruenobleman，andIamsurehewillbeonlytoohappytoobligeyou。Goandaskhimnow；youwillnotbedenied。"
　　"Ihaven’tthecouragetodoso。Comewithmeandintroduceme。"
　　"Thatwouldspoileverything；hemustnoteventhinkthatIamyouradviserinthematter。Iamjustgoingtoleaveyou；youmustmakeyourrequestdirectlyafterwards。"
　　Iwalkedtowardstheorchestra，andlookingroundIsawthatthedukewasapproachingtheactress。
　　"Thething’sasgoodasdone，"Isaidtomyself。
　　AftertherehearsalwasoverMadamePellicciacameandtoldmethattheDukewouldgivehertheletteronthedayonwhichtheoperawasproduced。Hekepthisword，andshereceivedasealedletterforamerchantandbanker，DonDiegoValencia。
　　ItwasthenMay，andshewasnottogotoValentiatillSeptember，soweshallhearwhatthelettercontainedlateron。
　　Ioftensawtheking’sgentlemanofthechamber，DonDomingoVarnier，another’gentlemanintheserviceofthePrincessoftheAsturias，andoneoftheprincess’sbed—chamberwomen。Thismostpopularprincesssucceededinsuppressingagooddealoftheoldetiquette，andthetoneofherCourthadlosttheairofsolemnitycommoninSpanishsociety。ItwasastrangethingtoseetheKingofSpainalwaysdiningateleveno’clock，liketheParisiancordwainersintheseventeenthcentury。Hismealalwaysconsistedofthesamedishes，healwayswentouthuntingatthesamehour，comingbackintheeveningthoroughlyfatigued。
　　Thekingwasugly，buteverythingisrelative，hewashandsomecomparedwithhisbrother，whowasterrificallyugly。
　　ThisbrotherneverwentanywherewithoutapictureoftheVirgin，whichMengshadpaintedforhim。Itwastwofeethighbythreeandahalfbroad。ThefigurewasdepictedasseatedonthegrasswithlegscrossedaftertheEasternfashion，anduncovereduptotheknees。Itwas，inreality，avoluptuouspainting；andtheprincemistookfordevotionthatwhichwasreallyasinfulpassion，foritwasimpossibletolookuponthefigurewithoutdesiringtohavetheoriginalwithinone’sarms。However，theprincedidnotseethis，andwasdelightedtofindhimselfinlovewiththemotheroftheSaviour。InthishewasatrueSpaniard；theyonlylovepicturesofthiskind，andinterpretthepassionstheyexciteinthemostfavourablesense。
　　AtMadridIhad，seenapictureoftheMadonnawiththechildatherbreast。ItwasthealtarpieceofachapelintheCalleSt。Jeronimo。
　　Theplacewasfilledalldaybythedevout，whocametoadoretheMotherofGod，whosefigurewasonlyinterestingbyreasonofhermagnificentbreast。Thealmsgivenatthischapelweresonumerous，thatinthehundredandfiftyyears，sincethepicturehadbeenplacedthere，theclergyhadbeenabletopurchasenumerouslampsandcandlesticksofsilver，andvesselsofsilvergilt，andevenofgold。Thedoorwaywasalwaysblockedbycarriages，andasentinelwasplacedtheretokeeporderamongstthecoachmen；nonoblemanwouldpassbywithoutgoingintopraytotheVirgin，andtocontemplatethose’beataubera，quaelactaveruntaeternipatrisfilium’。Buttherecameachange。
　　WhenIreturnedtoMadridIwantedtopayavisittotheAbbePico，andtoldmycoachmantotakeanotherwaysoastoavoidthecrushinfrontofthechapel。
　　"Itisnotsofrequentednow，senor，"saidhe，"Icaneasilygetbyit。"
　　Hewentonhisway，andIfoundtheentrancetothechapeldeserted。AsIwasgettingoutofthecarriageIaskedmycoachmanwhatwasthereasonofthechange，andhereplied，——
　　"Oh，senor！menaregettingmorewickedeveryday，"
　　Thisreasondidnotsatisfyme，andwhenIhadtakenmychocolatewiththeabbe，anintelligentandvenerableoldman，Iaskedhimwhythechapelinquestionhadlostitsreputation。
　　Heburstoutlaughing，andreplied，——
　　"Excuseme，Ireallycannottellyou。Goandseeforyourself；yourcuriositywillsoonbesatisfied。"
　　AssoonasIlefthimIwenttothechapel，andthestateofthepicturetoldmeall。ThebreastoftheVirginhaddisappearedunderakerchiefwhichsomeprofanebrushhaddaredtopaintoverit。Thebeautifulpicturewasspoilt；themagicandfascinationhaddisappeared。Eventheteathadbeenpaintedout；theChildheldontonothing，andtheheadoftheVirginnolongerappearednatural。
　　ThisdisasterhadtakenplaceattheendoftheCarnivalof1768。Theoldchaplaindied，andtheVandalwhosucceededhimpronouncedthepaintingtobeascandalousone，androbbeditofallitscharm。
　　Hemayhavebeenintherightasafool，butasaChristianandaSpaniardhewascertainlyinthewrong，andhewasprobablysoonconvincedofthemistakehehadmadebythediminutionintheofferingsofthefaithful。
　　Myinterestinthestudyofhumannaturemademecallonthispriest，whomIexpectedtofindastupidoldman。
　　Iwentonemorning，butinsteadofbeingold，thepriestwasanactive，clever—lookingmanofthirty，whoimmediatelyofferedmechocolatewiththebestgraceimaginable。Irefused，aswasmydutyasastranger，andindeedtheSpaniardsoffervisitorschocolatesofrequentlyatallhours，thatifoneaccepteditallonewouldbechoked。
　　Ilostnotimeinexordiums，butcametothepointatonce，bysayingthatasaloverofpaintingsIhadbeengrievedatfindingthemagnificentMadonnaspoilt。
　　"Verylikely，"hereplied，"butitwasexactlythephysicalbeautyofthepicturethatrendereditinmyeyesunfittorepresentonewhoseaspectshouldpurifyandpurgethesenses，insteadofexcitingthem。Letallthepicturesintheworldbedestroyed，iftheybefoundtohavecausedthecommissionofonemortalsin。"
　　"Whoallowedyoutocommitthismutilation？TheVenetianStateInquisitors，evenM。Barberigo，thoughheisadevoutman，wouldhaveputyouundertheLeadsforsuchadeed。TheloveofParadiseshouldnotbeallowedtointerferewiththefinearts，andIamsurethatSt。Lukehimself（whowasapainter，asyouknow）wouldcondemnyouifhecouldcometolifeagain。"
　　"Sir，Ineedednoone’sleaveorlicense。Ihavetosaymassatthataltareveryday，andIamnotashamedtotellyouthatIwasunabletoconsecrate。YouareamanandaChristian，youcanexcusemyweakness。
　　Thatvoluptuouspicturedrewawaymythoughtsfromholythings。"
　　"Whoobligedyoutolookatit？"
　　"Ididnotlookatit；thedevil，theenemyofGod，mademeseeitinspiteofmyself。"
　　"ThenyoushouldhavemutilatedyourselflikeOrigen。Yourgenerativeorgans，believeme，arenotsovaluableasthepictureyouhaveruined。"
　　"Sir，youinsultme。"
　　"Notatall，Ihavenointentionofdoingso。"
　　ThatyoungpriestshewedmethedoorwithsuchbrusquenessthatIfeltsurehewouldinformagainstmetotheInquisition。Iknewhewouldhavenodifficultyinfindingoutmyname，soIresolvedtobebeforehandwithhim。
　　BothmyfearandmyresolvewereinspiredbyanincidentwhichIshallmentionasanepisode。
　　Afewdaysbefore，IhadmetaFrenchmannamedSegur，whohadjustcomeoutoftheprisonsoftheInquisition。Hehadbeenshutupforthreeyearsforcommittingthefollowingcrime:
　　Inthehallofhishousetherewasafountain，composedofamarblebasinandthestatueofanakedchild，whodischargedthewaterinthesamewayasthewell—knownstatueofBrussels，thatistosay，byhisvirilemember。ThechildmightbeaCupidoranInfantJesus，asyoupleased，butthesculptorhadadornedtheheadwithakindofaureole；andsothefanaticsdeclaredthatitwasamockingofGod。
　　PoorSegurwasaccusedofimpiety，andtheInquisitiondealtwithhimaccordingly。
　　IfeltthatmyfaultmightbeadjudgedasgreatasSegur’s，andnotcaringtoruntheriskofalikepunishmentIcalledonthebishop，whoheldtheofficeofGrandInquisitor，andtoldhimwordforwordtheconversationIhadhadwiththeiconoclastchaplain。Iendedbycravingpardon，ifIhadoffendedthechaplain，asIwasagoodChristian，andorthodoxonallpoints。
　　IhadneverexpectedtofindtheGrandInquisitorofMadridakindlyandintelligent，thoughill—favoured，prelate；butsoitwas，andhedidnothingbutlaughfromthebeginningtotheendofmystory，forhewouldnotletmecallitaconfession。
　　"Thechaplain，"hesaid，"ishimselfblameworthyandunfitforhisposition，inthathehasadjudgedotherstobeasweakashimself；infact，hehascommittedawrongagainstreligion。Nevertheless，mydearson，itwasnotwiseofyoutogoandirritatehim。"
　　AsIhadtoldhimmynameheshewedme，smilingly，anaccusationagainstme，drawnupbysomeonewhohadwitnessedthefact。Thegoodbishopgentlychidmeforhavingcalledthefriar—confessoroftheDukeofMedinaanignoramus。Hehadrefusedtoadmitthatapriestmightsaymassasecondtimeonahighfestival，afterbreakinghisfast，onthecommandofhissovereignprince，who，bythehypothesis，hadnotheardmassbefore。
　　"Youwerequiterightinyourcontention，"saidtheInquisitor，"butyeteverytruthisnotgoodtoutter，anditwaswrongtocallthemananignoramusinhispresence。Forthefutureyouwoulddowelltoavoidallidlediscussiononreligiousmatters，bothondogmaanddiscipline。AndImustalsotellyou，inorderthatyoumaynotleaveSpainwithanyharshideasontheInquisition，thatthepriestwhoaffixedyournametothechurch—dooramongsttheexcommunicatedhasbeenseverelyreprimanded。
　　Heoughttohavegivenyouafatherlyadmonition，and，aboveall，enquiredastoyourhealth，asweknowthatyouwereseriouslyillatthetime。"
　　ThereuponIkneltdownandkissedhishand，andwentmyway，wellpleasedwithmycall。
　　TogobacktoAranjuez。AssoonasIheardthattheambassadorcouldnotputmeupatMadrid，Iwrotetotheworthycobbler，DonDiego，thatI
　　wantedawell—furnishedroom，acloset，agoodbed，andanhonestservant。IinformedhimhowmuchIwaswillingtospendamonth，andsaidIwouldleaveAranjuezassoonasIheardthateverythingwasready。
　　IwasagooddealoccupiedwiththequestionofcolonisingtheSierraMorena；Iwroteprincipallyonthesubjectofthecivilgovernment，amostimportantiteminaschemeforanewcolony。MyarticlespleasedtheMarquisGrimaldiandflatteredMocenigo；forthelatterhopedthatI
　　shouldbecomegovernorofthecolony，andthathisembassywouldtherebyshinewithaborrowedlight。
　　Mylaboursdidnotpreventmyamusingmyself，andIfrequentedthesocietyofthoseabouttheCourtwhocouldtellmemostofthekingandroyalfamily。DonVarnier，amanofmuchfranknessandintelligence，wasmyprincipalsourceofinformation。
　　IaskedhimonedaywhetherthekingwasfondofGregorioSquillaceonlybecausehehadbeenoncehiswife’slover。
　　"That’sanidlecalumny，"hereplied。"Iftheepithetof’chaste’canbeappliedtoanymonarch，CharlesIII。certainlydeservesitbetterthananyother。Hehasnevertouchedanywomaninhislifeexcepthiswife，notonlyoutofrespectorthesanctityofmarriage，butalsoasagoodChristian。Hehasavoidedthissinthathissoulmayremainpure，andsoasnottohavetheshameofconfessingittohischaplain。Heenjoysanironconstitution，sicknessisunknowntohim，andheisathoroughSpaniardintemperament。Eversincehismarriagehehaspaidhisdutytohiswifeeveryday，exceptwhenthestateofherhealthcompelledhertocallforatruce。Insuchseasonsthischastehusbandbroughtdownhisfleshlydesiresbythefatigueofhuntingandbyabstinence。Youcanimaginehisdistressatbeingleftawidower，forhewouldratherdiethantakeamistress。Hisonlyresourcewasinhunting，andinsoplanningouthisdaythatheshouldhavenotimeleftwhereintothinkofwomen。Itwasadifficultmatter，forhecaresneitherforreadingnorwriting，musicwearieshim，andconversationofalivelyturninspireshimwithdisgust。
　　"Hehasadoptedthefollowingplan，inwhichhewillpreservetillhisdyingday:Hedressesatseven，thengoesintohisclosetandhashishairdressed。Ateighto’clockhesayshisprayers，thenhearsmass，andwhenthisisoverhetakeschocolateandanenormouspinchofsnuff，overwhichhisbignoseruminatesforsomeminutes；thisishisonlypinchinthewholeday。Atnineo’clockheseeshisministers，andworkswiththemtilleleven。Thencomesdinner，whichhealwaystakesalone，thenashortvisittothePrincessoftheAusturias，andattwelvesharphegetsintohiscarriageanddrivestothehunting—grounds。Atseveno’clockhetakesamorselwhereverhehappenstobe，andateighto’clockhecomeshome，sotiredthatheoftengoestosleepbeforehecangethisclothesoff。Thushekeepsdownthedesiresoftheflesh。"
　　"Poorvoluntarymartyr！"
　　"Hethoughtofmarryingasecondtime，butwhenAdelaideofFrancesawhisportraitshewasquitefrightenedandrefusedhim。Hewasverymortified，andrenouncedallthoughtsofmarriage；andwoetothecourtierwhoshouldadvisehimtogetamistress！"
　　InfurtherspeakingofhischaracterDonDomingotoldmethattheministershadgoodcauseformakinghiminaccessible，aswheneveranyonedidsucceedingettingathimandaskedafavour，hemadeapointofgrantingit，asitwasatsuchtimesthathefelthimselfreallyaking。
　　"Thenheisnotahardman，assomesay？"
　　"Notatall。Kingsseldomhavethereputationtheydeserve。Themostaccessiblemonarchsaretheleastgenerous；theyareoverwhelmedwithimportunaterequests，andtheirfirstinstinctisalwaystorefuse。"
　　"ButasCharlesIII。issoinaccessiblehecanhavenoopportunityofeithergrantingorrefusing。"
　　"Peoplecatchhimwhenheishunting；heisusuallyinagoodhumourthen。Hischiefdefectishisobstinacy；whenhehasoncemadeuphismindthereisnochangingit。
　　"Hehasthegreatestlikingforhisbrother，andcanscarcerefusehimanything，thoughhemustbemasterinallthings。Itisthoughthewillgivehimleavetomarryforthesakeofhissalvation；thekinghasthegreatesthorrorofillegitimatechildren，andhisbrotherhasthreealready。"
　　TherewereanimmensenumberofpersonsatAranjuez，whopersecutedtheministersinthehopeofgettingemployment。
　　"Theywillgobackastheycome，"saidDonDomingo，"andthatisempty—
　　handed。"
　　"Thentheyaskimpossibilities？"
　　"Theydon’taskanything。’Whatdoyouwant？’saysaminister。
　　"’Whatyourexcellencywillletmehave。’
　　"’Whatcanyoudo？’
　　"’Iamreadytodowhateveryourexcellencypleasestothinkbestforme’
　　"’Pleaseleaveme。Ihavenotimetowaste。’"
　　Thatisalwaystheway。CharlesIII。diedamadman；theQueenofPortugalismad；theKingofEnglandhasbeenmad，and，assomesay，isnotreallycured。Thereisnothingastonishinginit；akingwhotriestodohisdutyisalmostforcedintomadnessbyhisenormoustask。
　　ItookleaveofM。MocenigothreedaysbeforeheleftAranjuez，andI
　　embracedManucciaffectionately。Hehadbeenmostkindtomethroughoutmystay。
　　MycobblerhadwrittentotellmethatforthesumIhadmentionedhecouldprovidemewithaBiscayanmaidwhocouldcook。HesentmetheaddressofmynewlodgingintheCalleAlcala。Iarrivedthereintheafternoon，havingstartedfromAranjuezinthemorning。
　　IfoundthattheBiscayanmaidcouldspeakFrench；myroomwasaverypleasantone，withanotherchamberannexedwhereIcouldlodgeafriend。
　　AfterIhadhadmyeffectscarriedupIsawmyman，whosefacepleasedme。
　　Iwasanxioustotesttheskillofmycook，soIorderedhertogetagoodsupperforme，andIgavehersomemoney。
　　"Ihavesomemoney，"shereplied，"andIwillletyouhavethebillto—
　　morrow。"
　　AftertakingawaywhateverIhadleftwithMengsIwenttoDonDiego’shouse，andtomyastonishmentfounditempty。IwentbackandaskedPhilippe，myman，whereDonDiegowasstaying。
　　"It’ssomedistance，sir；Iwilltakeyoutheretomorrow。"
　　"Whereismylandlord？"
　　"Inthefloorabove；buttheyareveryquietpeople。"
　　"Ishouldliketoseehim。"
　　"Heisgoneoutandwon’tbehometillten。"
　　Atnineo’clockIwastoldthatmysupperwasready。Iwasveryhungry，andtheneatnesswithwhichthetablewaslaidwasapleasantsurpriseinSpain。IwassorrythatIhadhadnoopportunityofexpressingmysatisfactiontoDonDiego，butIsatdowntosupper。ThenindeedI
　　thoughtthecobblerahero；theBiscayanmaidmighthaveenteredintorivalrywiththebestcookinFrance。Therewerefivedishes，includingmyfavouritedelicacy’lascriadillas’，andeverythingwasexquisite。Mylodgingwasdearenough，butthecookmadethewholearrangementawonderfulbargain。
　　TowardstheendofsupperPhilippetoldmethatthelandlordhadcomein，andthatwithmyleavehewouldwishmeagoodevening。
　　"Shewhiminbyallmeans。"
　　IsawDonDiegoandhischarmingdaughterenter；hehadrentedthehouseonpurposetobemylandlord。
　　CHAPTERVI
　　MyAmoursWithDonnaIgnazia——ReturnofM。deMoceninotoMadridAllyoubarons，counts，andmarquiseswholaughatanuntitledmanwhocallshimselfagentleman，pauseandreflect，spareyourdisdaintillyouhavedegradedhim；allowhimagentletitlesolongashedoesgentledeeds。Respectthemanthatdefinesnobilityinanewway，whichyoucannotunderstand。Withhimnobilityisnotaseriesofdescentsfromfathertoson；helaughsatpedigrees，inwhichnoaccountistakenoftheimpurebloodintroducedbywifelyinfidelities；hedefinesanoblemanasonewhodoesnobledeeds，whoneitherliesnorcheats，whoprefershishonourtohislife。
　　Thislatterpartofthedefinitionshouldmakeyoutrembleforyourlives，ifyoumeditatehisdishonour。Fromimposturecomescontempt，fromcontempthatred，fromhatredhomicide，whichtakesouttheblotofdishonour。
　　ThecobblerDonDiegomighthavefeared，perhaps，thatIshouldlaughathim，whenhetoldmehewasnoble；butfeelinghimselftobereallysohehaddonehisbesttoproveittome。ThefinenessofhisbehaviourwhenIwasinprisonhadgivenmesomeideaofthenobilityofhissoul，buthewasnotcontentwiththis。Onthereceiptofmyletter，hehadtakenanewhouseonlytogiveupthebestpartofittome。Nodoubthecalculatedonnotlosinginthelongrun，asafterIhadlefthewouldprobablyhavenodifficultyinlettingtheapartment，buthischiefmotivewastoobligeme。
　　Hewasnotdisappointed；henceforthItreatedhimentirelyasanequal。
　　DonnaIgnaziawasdelightedatwhatherfatherhaddoneforme。Wetalkedanhour，settlingourbusinessrelationsoverabottleofexcellentwine。IsucceededinmycontentionthattheBiscayancookshouldbekeptatmyexpense。Allthesame，IwantedthegirltothinkthatshewasinDonDiego’sservice，soIbeggedhimtopayhereveryday，asIshouldtakeallmymealsathome，atallevents，tillthereturnoftheambassador。Ialsotoldhimthatitwasapenancetometoeatalone，andbeggedhimtokeepmecompanyatdinnerandsuppereveryday。Hetriedtoexcusehimself，andatlastgaveinontheconditionthathisdaughtershouldtakehisplacewhenhehadtoomuchworktodo。
　　AsmaybeimaginedIhadanticipatedthiscondition，andmadenodifficultyaboutit。
　　Thenextmorning，feelingcurioustoseethewayinwhichmylandlordwaslodged，Ipaidhimavisit。IwentintothelittleroomsacredtoDonnaIgnazia。Abed，achest，andachairmadeupthewholefurniture；butbesidethebedwasadeskbeforeapicture，fourfeethigh，representingSt。IgnatiusdeLoyolaasafineyoungman，morecalculatedtoirritatethesensethantoarousedevotion。
　　Mycobblersaidtome，"IhaveamuchbetterlodgingthanIhadbefore；andtherentofyourroompaysmeforthehousefourtimesover。"
　　"Howaboutthefurnitureandthelinen？"
　　"Itwillallbepaidinthecourseoffouryears。Ihopethishousewillbethedowerofmydaughter。Itisanexcellentspeculation，andIhavetothankyouforit。"
　　"Iamgladtohearit；butwhatisthis，youseemtobemakingnewboots？"
　　"Quiteso；butifyoulookyouwillseethatIamworkingonalastwhichhasbeengivenme。InthiswayIhavenottoputthemon，norneedI
　　troublemyselfwhethertheyfitwellorill。"
　　"Howmuchdoyouget？"
　　"Thirtyreals。"
　　"That’salargerpricethanusual。"
　　"Yes，butthere’sagreatdifferencebetweenmyworkandmyleather，andtheusualworkandleatherofthebootmakers。"
　　"ThenIwillhavealastmade，andyoushallmakemeapairofshoes，ifyouwill；butIwarnyoutheymustbeofthefinestskin，andthesolesofmorocco。"
　　"Theywillcostmore，andnotlastsolong。"
　　"Ican’thelpthat；Ican’tbearanybutthelightestboots。"
　　BeforeIlefthimhesaidhisdaughtershoulddinewithmethatdayashewasverybusy。
　　IcalledontheCountofAranda，whoreceivedmecoldly，butwithgreatpoliteness。ItoldhimhowIhadbeentreatedbymyparishpriestandbyMengs。
　　"Iheardaboutit；thiswasworsethanyourimprisonment，andIdon’tknowwhatIcouldhavedoneforyouifyouhadnotcommunicated，andobligedthepriesttotakeoutyourname。Justnowtheyaretryingtoannoymewithpostersonthewalls，butItakenonotice。"
　　"Whatdotheywantyourexcellencytodo？"
　　Toallowlongcloaksandlow—crownedhats；youmustknowallaboutit。"
　　"IonlyarrivedatMadridyesterdayevening。"
　　"Verygood。Don’tcomehereonSunday，asmyhouseistobeblownup。"
　　"Ishouldliketoseethat，mylord，soIwillbeinyourhallatnoon。"
　　"Iexpectyouwillbeingoodcompany。"
　　Idulywent，andneverhadIseenitsofull。Thecountwasaddressingthecompany，underthelastposterthreateninghimwithdeath，twoveryenergeticlineswereinscribedbythepersonwhoputuptheposter，knowingthathewasatthesametimerunninghisheadintothenoose:
　　Simecogen，mehorqueran，Peronomecogeran。
　　"Iftheycatchme，theywillhangme，SoIshallnotletthemcatchme。"
　　AtdinnerDonnaIgnaziatoldmehowgladshewastohavemeinthehouse，butshedidnotrespondtoallmyamorousspeechesafterPhilippehadlefttheroom。Sheblushedandsighed，andthenbeingobligedtosaysomething，beggedmetoforgeteverythingthathadpassedbetweenus。I
　　smiled，andsaidthatIwassuresheknewshewasaskinganimpossibility。IaddedthatevenifIcouldforgetthepastIwouldnotdoso。
　　Iknewthatshewasneitherfalsenorhypocritical，andfeltsurethatherbehaviourproceededfromdevotion；butIknewthiscouldnotlastlong。Ishouldhavetoconquerherbyslowdegrees。Ihadhadtodosowithotherdevoteeswhohadlovedmelessthanshe，nevertheless，theyhadcapitulated。IwasthereforesureofDonnaIgnazia。
　　Afterdinnersheremainedaquarterofanhourwithme，butIrefrainedfromanyamorousattempts。
　　AftermysiestaIdressed，andwentoutwithoutseeingher。Intheeveningwhenshecameinforherfather，whohadsuppedwithme，I
　　treatedherwiththegreatestpolitenesswithoutshewinganyill—humour。
　　ThefollowingdayIbehavedinthesamemanner。AtdinnershetoldmeshehadbrokenwithherloveratthebeginningofLent，andbeggedmenottoseehimifhecalledonme。
　　OnWhitSundayIcalledontheCountofAranda，andDonDiego，whowasexquisitelydressed，dinedwithme。Isawnothingofhisdaughter。I
　　askedafterher，andDonDiegoreplied，withasmile，thatshehadshutherselfupinherroomtocelebratetheFeastofPentecost。Hepronouncedthesewordsinamannerandwithasmilethathewouldnothavedaredtouseifhehadbeenspeakingtoafellow—Spaniard。Headdedthatshewould，nodoubt，comedownandsupwithme，ashewasgoingtosupwithhisbrother。
　　"MydearDonDiego，don’tlettherebeanyfalsecomplimentsbetweenus。
　　Beforeyougoout，tellyourdaughternottoputherselfoutforme，andthatIdonotpretendtoputmysocietyincomparisonwiththatofGod。
　　Tellhertokeepherroomto—night，andshecansupwithmeanothertime。
　　Ihopeyouwilltakemymessagetoher。"
　　"Asyouwillhaveitso，youshallbeobeyed。"
　　Aftermysiesta，theworthymansaidthatDonnaIgnaziathankedmeandwouldprofitbymykindness，asshedidnotwanttoseeanyoneonthatholyday。
　　"Iamverygladshehastakenmeatmyword，andto—morrowIwillthankherforit。"
　　Ihadsomedifficultyinshapingmylipstothisreply；forthisexcessofdevotiondispleasedme，andevenmademetrembleforherlove。I
　　couldnothelplaughing，however，whenDonDiegosaidthatawisefatherforgivesanecstasyoflove。IhadnotexpectedsuchaphilosophicremarkfromthemouthofaSpaniard。
　　Theweatherwasunpleasant，soIresolvedtostayindoors。ItoldPhilippethatIshouldnotwantthecarriage，andthathecouldgoout。
　　ItoldmyBiscayancookthatIshouldnotsuptillten。WhenIwasaloneIwroteforsometime，andintheeveningthemotherlitmycandles，insteadofthedaughter，sointheendIwenttobedwithoutanysupper。
　　Atnineo’clocknextmorning，justasIwasawaking，DonnaIgnaziaappeared，tomygreatastonishment，tellingmehowsorryshewastohearthatIhadnottakenanysupper。
　　"Alone，sad，andunhappy，"Ireplied，"Ifeltthatabstinencewasthebestthingforme。"
　　"Youlookdowncast。"
　　"Youalonecanmakemelookcheerful。"
　　Heremybarbercamein，andsheleftme。IthenwenttomassattheChurchoftheGoodSuccess，whereIsawallthehandsomecourtezansinMadrid。IdinedwithDonDiego，andwhenhisdaughtercameinwithdesserthetoldherthatitwasherfaultIhadgonesupperlesstobed。
　　"Itshallnothappenagain，"saidshe。
　　"WouldyouliketocomewithmetoourLadyofAtocha？"saidI。
　　"Ishouldlikeitverymuch，"shereplied，withaside—glanceatherfather。
　　"Mygirl，"saidDonDiego，"truedevotionandmerrimentgotogether，andthereasonisthatthetrulydevoutpersonhastrustinGodandinthehonestyofallmen。ThusyoucantrustinDonJaimeasanhonestman，thoughhehasnotthegoodfortunetobeborninSpain。"
　　Icouldnothelplaughingatthislastsentence，butDonDiegowasnotoffended。DonnaIgnaziakissedherfather’shands，andaskedifshemightbringhercousintoo。
　　"Whatdoyouwanttotakethecousinfor？"saidDonDiego；"IwillanswerforDonJaime。"
　　"Youareverykind，DonDiego，butifIgnazialikeshercousintocomeI
　　shallbedelighted，provideditbetheeldercousin，whomIlikebetterthantheyounger。"
　　Afterthisarrangementthefatherwenthisway，andIsentPhilippetothestablestoputinfourmules。
　　WhenwewerealoneIgnaziaaskedmerepentantlytoforgiveher。
　　"Entirely，ifyouwillforgivemeforlovingyou。"
　　"Alas，dearest！IthinkIshallgomadifIkeepupthebattleanylonger。"
　　"Thereneedsnobattle，dearestIgnazia，eitherlovemeasIloveyou，ortellmetoleavethehouse，andseeyounomore。Iwillobeyyou，butthatwillnotmakeyouhappy。"
　　"Iknowthat。No，youshallnotgofromyourownhouse。Butallowmetotellyouthatyouaremistakeninyourestimateofmycousins’
　　characters。Iknowwhatinfluencedyou，butyoudonotknowall。Theyoungerisagoodgirl，andthoughsheisugly，shetoohassuccumbedtolove。Buttheelder，whoistentimesuglier，ismadwithrageatneverhavinghadalover。Shethoughtshehadmadeyouinlovewithher，andyetshespeaksevilofyou。Shereproachesmeforhavingyieldedsoeasily。andboaststhatshewouldneverhavegratifiedyourpassion。"
　　"Saynomore，wemustpunishher；andtheyoungershallcome。"
　　"Iammuchobligedtoyou。"
　　"Doessheknowthatweloveeachother？"
　　"Ihavenevertoldher，butshehasguessedit，andpitiesme。ShewantsmetojoinherinadevotiontoOurLadydelaSoledad，theeffectofwhichwouldbeacompletecureforusboth。"
　　"Thensheisinlove，too？"
　　"Yes；andsheisunhappyinherlove，foritisnotreturned。Thatmustbeagreatgrief。"
　　"Ipityher，andyet，withsuchaface，Idonotknowanymanwhowouldtakecompassiononher。Thepoorgirlwoulddowelltoleavelovealone。
　　Butastoyou……"
　　"Saynothingaboutme:mydangerisgreaterthanhers。Iamforcedtodefendmyselfortogivein，andGodknowstherearesomemenwhomitisimpossibletowardoff！GodismywitnessthatinHolyWeekIwenttoapoorgirlwiththesmallpox，andtouchedherinthehopeofcatchingit，andsolosingmybeauty；butGodwouldnothaveitso，andmyconfessorblamedme，biddingmetodoapenanceIhadneverexpected。"
　　"Tellmewhatitis？"
　　"Hetoldmethatahandsomefaceistheindexofahandsomesoul，andisagiftofGod，forwhichawomanshouldrenderthankscontinually；thatinattemptingtodestroythisbeautyIhadsinned，forIhadendeavouredtodestroyGod’shandiwork。Afteragooddealofrebukeinthisstyle，heorderedmetoputalittlerougeonmycheekswheneverIfeltmyselflookingpale。Ihadtosubmit，andIhaveboughtapotofrouge，buthithertoIhavenotfeltobligedtouseit。Indeed，myfathermightnoticeit，andIshouldnotliketotellhimthatitisdonebywayofpenance。"
　　"Isyourconfessorayoungman？"
　　"Heisanoldmanofseventy。"
　　"Doyoutellhimallyoursinswithoutreserve？"
　　"Certainly，forthesmallestcircumstancemaybereallyagreatsin。"
　　"Doesheaskyouquestions？"
　　"No，forheseesthatIamtellinghimthewholetruth。Itisagreattrial，butIhavetosubmittoit。"
　　"Haveyouhadthisconfessorforlong？"
　　"Fortwoyears。BeforehimIhadaconfessorwhowasquiteunbearable。
　　Heaskedmequestionswhichmademequiteindignant。"
　　"Whatquestionswerethese？"
　　"Youmustpleaseexcusemetellingyou。"
　　"Whydoyougotoconfessionsooften？"
　　"Why？WouldtoGodIhadnotgoodcause！butafterallIonlygoonceaweek。"
　　"That’stoooften。"
　　"Notso，forwhenIaminmortalsinIcannotsleepatnight。Iamafraidofdyinginmysleep。"
　　"Ipityyou，dearest；Ihaveaconsolationwhichisdeniedyou。IhaveaninfinitetrustintheinfinitemercyofGod。"
　　Thecousinarrivedandwesetout。Wefoundagoodmanycarriagesinfrontofthechurch—door，andthechurchitselfwasfullofdevotees，bothmaleandfemale。AmongstothersIsawtheDuchessofVilladorias，notoriousforherandromania。Whenthe’furoruterinus’seizedher，nothingcouldkeepherback。Shewouldrushatthemanwhohadexcitedher，andhehadnochoicebuttosatisfyherpassion。Thishadhappenedseveraltimesinpublicassemblies，andhadgivenrisetosomeextraordinaryscenes。Ihadseenherataball；shewasstillbothyoungandpretty。AsIenteredthechurchIsawherkneelingonthestonesofthechurchfloor。Sheliftedhereyes，andgazedatme，asifdoubtfulwhethersheknewmeornot，asshehadonlyseenmeindomino。Aftermydevoteeshadprayedforhalfanhour，theyrosetogo，andtheduchessrosealso；andassoonaswewereoutofthechurchsheaskedmeifI
　　knewher。Irepliedintheaffirmative，andsheaskedwhyIhadnotbeentoseeher，andifIvisitedtheDuchessofBenevento。ItoldherthatI
　　didnotvisithergrace，andthatIshouldhavethehonourofpayingheracallbeforelong。
　　OnourwayIexplainedtomytwocompanionsthenatureoftheduchess’smalady。DonnaIgnaziaaskedmeanxiouslyifIreallymeanttogoandseeher。SheseemedreassuredwhenIrepliedinthenegative。
　　Acommonandtomymindaridiculousquestioniswhichofthetwosexesenjoysthegenerativeactthemore。HomergivesusJupiterandJunodisputingonthispoint。Tiresias，whowasonceawoman，hasgivenacorrectthoughamusingdecisiononthepoint。Alaconicanswerhasitthatawomanenjoystheactthemostbecausewithheritissharper，repeatedmorefrequently，andfinallybecausethebattleisfoughtinherfield。Sheisatthesametimeanactiveandpassiveagent，whileactionisindispensabletothepleasureoftheman。Butthemostconclusivereasonisthatifthewoman’spleasurewerenotthegreaternaturewouldbeunjust，andsheneverisorcanbeunjust。Nothinginthisuniverseiswithoutitsuse，andnopleasureorpainiswithoutitscompensationorbalance。Ifwomanhadnotmorepleasurethanmanshewouldnothavemoreorgansthanhe。Thegreaternervouspowerplantedinthefemaleorganisdemonstratedbytheandromaniatowhichsomewomenaresubject，andwhichmakesthemeitherMessalinesormartyrs。Menhavenothingatallsimilartothis。
　　Naturehasgiventowomenthisspecialenjoymenttocompensateforthepainstheyhavetoundergo。Whatmanwouldexposehimself，forthepleasureheenjoys，tothepainsofpregnancyandthedangersofchildbed？Butwomenwilldosoagainandagain；soitmustbeconcludedthattheybelievethepleasuretooutbalancethepain；andsoitisclearlythewomanwhohasthebettershareintheenjoyment。
　　Inspiteofthis，ifIhadthechoiceofbeingbornagainasawoman，I
　　shouldsayno；forinspiteofmyvoluptuousness，amanhaspleasureswhichawomancannotenjoy。Though，indeed，ratherthannotbebornagain，Iwouldbeawoman，andevenabrute，providedalwaysthatIhadmymemory，forwithoutitIshouldnolongerbemyself。
　　Wehadsomeices，andmytwocompanionsreturnedhomewithme，wellpleasedwiththeenjoymentIhadgiventhemwithoutoffendingGod。
　　DonnaIgnazia，whowasdelightedwithmycontinenceduringtheday，andapparentlyafraidofitsnotlasting，beggedmetoinvitehercousintosupper。Iagreed，andevendidsowithpleasure。
　　Thecousinwasugly，andalsoafool，butshehadagreatheartandwassympathetic。IknewthatDonnaIgnaziahadtoldherall，andasshewasnorestraintonmeIdidnotmindherbeingatsupper，whileIgnazialookeduponherasasafeguard。
　　Thetablehadbeenlaidforthree，whenIheardastepcomingupthestairs。Itwasthefather，andIaskedhimtosupwithus。DonDiegowasapleasantman，asIhavesaid，butwhatamusedmemostofallabouthimwashismoralmaxims。HekneworsuspectedthatIwasfondofhisdaughter，thoughinanhonourableway；hethoughtmyhonourorhisdaughter’spietywouldbeasufficientsafeguard。Ifhehadsuspectedwhathadreallyhappened，Idonotthinkhewouldeverhaveallowedustobetogether。
　　Hesatbesidehisnieceandfacinghisdaughter，anddidmostofthetalking，foryourSpaniard，thoughgrave，iseloquent，andfondofhearingthefineharmoniesofhisnativetongue。
　　Itwasveryhot，soIaskedhimtotakeoffhiswaistcoat，andtotellhisdaughtertodojustasshewouldifonlyheandhiswifehadbeenpresent。
　　DonnaIgnaziahadnottobeentreatedlongbeforeshetookoffherkerchief，butthepoorcousindidnotlikehavingtoshewusherbonesandswarthyskin。
　　DonnaIgnaziatoldherfatherhowmuchshehadenjoyedherself，andhowtheyhadseentheDuchessofVilladorias，whohadaskedmetocomeandseeher。
　　Thegoodmanbegantophilosophiseandtojestonhermalady，andhetoldmesomestories，germanetothequestion，whichthegirlspretendednottounderstand。
　　ThegoodwineofLaManchakeptusattabletillalatehour，andthetimeseemedtopassveryquickly。DonDiegotoldhisniecethatshecouldsleepwithhisdaughter，intheroomwewerein，asthebedwasbigenoughfortwo。IhastenedtoaddthatiftheladieswoulddosoI
　　shouldbedelighted；butDonnaIgnaziablushedandsaiditwouldnotdo，astheroomwasonlyseparatedfromminebyaglassdoor。
　　AtthisIsmiledatDonDiego，whoproceededtoharanguehisdaughterinamannerwhichamusedmeextremely。HetoldherthatIwasatleasttwentyyearsolderthanherself，andthatinsuspectingmeshehadcommittedagreatersinthanifsheallowedmetotakesomeslightliberty。
　　"Iamsure，"headded，"thatwhenyougotoconfessionnextSundayyouwillforgettoaccuseyourselfofhavingwrongfullysuspectedDonJaimeofadishonourableaction。"
　　DonnaIgnazialookedatmeaffectionately，askedmypardon，andsaidshewoulddowhateverherfatherliked。Thecousinsaidnothing，andthefatherkissedhisdaughter，bademeagoodnight，andwentawaywellpleasedwiththeharanguehehaddelivered。