Ah，saidthered-hairedman，that，yousee，isamatteroftaste。
　　Iamnotfondofanythingoriginal。Idon’tlikeit。don’tseethenecessityforit。What’syourname，sir？
　　Hereismycard，sir，repliedMr。Pickwick，muchamusedbytheabruptnessofthequestion，andthesingularmannerofthestranger。
　　Ah，saidthered-hairedman，placingthecardinhispocket-book，Pickwick。verygood。Iliketoknowaman’sname，itsavessomuchtrouble。
　　That’smycard，sir，Magnus，youwillperceive，sir——Magnusismyname。
　　It’sratheragoodname，Ithink，sir？
　　Averygoodname，indeed，saidMr。Pickwick，whollyunabletorepressasmile。
　　Yes，Ithinkitis，resumedMr。Magnus。There’sagoodnamebeforeit，too，youwillobserve。Permitme，sir——ifyouholdthecardalittleslanting，thisway，youcatchthelightupontheup-stroke。There——PeterMagnus——soundswell，Ithink，sir。
　　Very，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Curiouscircumstanceaboutthoseinitials，sir，saidMr。Magnus。Youwillobserve——P。M——postmeridian。Inhastynotestointimateacquaintance，Isometimessignmyself`Afternoon。’Itamusesmyfriendsverymuch，Mr。
　　Pickwick。
　　Itiscalculatedtoaffordthemthehighestgratification，Ishouldconceive，saidMr。Pickwick，ratherenvyingtheeasewithwhichMr。Magnus’sfriendswereentertained。
　　Now，gen’l’m’n，saidthehostler，coachisready，ifyouplease。
　　Isallmyluggagein？inquiredMr。Magnus。
　　Allright，sir。
　　Istheredbagin？
　　Allright，sir。
　　Andthestripedbag？
　　Foreboot，sir。
　　Andthebrown-paperparcel？
　　Undertheseat，sir。
　　Andtheleatherhat-box？
　　They’reallin，sir。
　　Now，willyougetup？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Excuseme，repliedMagnus，standingonthewheel。Excuseme，Mr。
　　Pickwick。Icannotconsenttogetup，inthisstateofuncertainty。Iamquitesatisfiedfromthatman’smanner，thatthatleatherhat-boxisnotin。
　　Thesolemnprotestationsofthehostlerbeingwhollyunavailing，theleatherhat-boxwasobligedtoberakedupfromthelowestdepthoftheboot，tosatisfyhimthatithadbeensafelypacked。andafterhehadbeenassuredonthishead，hefeltasolemnpresentiment，first，thattheredbagwasmislaid，andnextthatthestripedbaghadbeenstolen，andthenthatthebrown-paperparcelhadcomeuntied。
　　Atlengthwhenhehadreceivedoculardemonstrationofthegroundlessnatureofeachandeveryofthesesuspicions，heconsentedtoclimbuptotheroofofthecoach，observingthatnowhehadtakeneverythingoffhismind，hefeltquitecomfortableandhappy。
　　You’regiventonervousness，an’tyou，sir？inquiredMr。Wellersenior，eyeingthestrangeraskance，ashemountedtohisplace。
　　Yes。Ialwaysamrather，abouttheselittlematters，saidthestranger，butIamallrightnow——quiteright。
　　Well，that’sablessin’，saidMr。Weller。Sammy，helpyourmasteruptothebox：t’otherleg，sir，that’sit。giveusyourhand，sir。Upwithyou。Youwasalighterweightwhenyouwasaboy，sir。
　　Trueenough，that，Mr。Weller，saidthebreathlessMr。Pickwick，goodhumouredly，ashetookhisseatontheboxbesidehim。
　　Jumpupinfront，Sammy，saidMr。Weller。NowVillam，run’emout。
　　Takecareo’thearchvay，gen’l’m’n。`Heads，’asthepiemansays。That’lldo，Villam。Let’emalone。AndawaywentthecoachupWhitechapel，totheadmirationofthewholepopulationofthatpretty-denselypopulatedquarter。
　　Notaveryniceneighbourhoodthis，sir，saidSam，withatouchofthehat，whichalwaysprecededhisenteringintoconversationwithhismaster。
　　Itisnotindeed，Sam，repliedMr。Pickwicksurveyingthecrowdedandfilthystreetthroughwhichtheywerepassing。
　　It’saweryremarkablecircumstance，sir，saidSam，thatpovertyandoystersalwaysseemstogotogether。
　　Idon’tunderstandyou，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　WhatImean，sir，saidSam，is，thatthepooreraplaceis，thegreatercallthereseemstobeforoysters。Lookhere，sir。here’saoysterstalltoeveryhalf-dozenhouses。Thestreet’slinedvith’em。BlessedifIdon’tthinkthatvenaman’swerypoor，herushesoutofhislodgings，andeatsoystersinreg’lardesperation。
　　Tobesurehedoes，saidMr。Wellersenior。andit’sjustthesamevithpickledsalmon！
　　Thosearetwoveryremarkablefacts，whichneveroccurredtomebefore，
　　saidMr。Pickwick。Theveryfirstplacewestopat，I’llmakeanoteofthem。
　　BythistimetheyhadreachedtheturnpikeatMileEnd。aprofoundsilenceprevaileduntiltheyhadgottwoorthreemilesfurtheron，whenMr。Wellersenior，turningsuddenlytoMr。Pickwick，said：
　　Weryqueerlifeisapike-keeper’s，sir。
　　Awhat？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Apike-keeper。
　　Whatdoyoumeanbyapike-keeper？inquiredMr。PeterMagnus。
　　Theold’unmeansaturnpikekeeper，gen’l’m’n，observedMr。SamuelWeller，inexplanation。
　　Oh，saidMr。Pickwick，Isee。Yes。verycuriouslife。Veryuncomfortable。
　　They’reallon’emmenashasmetvithsomedisappointmentinlife，
　　saidMr。Wellersenior。
　　Ay，ay？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Yes。Consequenceofvich，theyretiresfromtheworld，andshutsthemselvesupinpikes。partlywiththeviewofbeingsolitary，andpartlytorewengethemselvesonmankind，bytakin’tolls。
　　Dearme，saidMr。Pickwick，Ineverknewthatbefore。
　　Fact，sir，saidMr。Weller。iftheywasgen’l’m’nyou’dcall’emmisanthropes，butasitis，theyonlytakestopikekeepin’。
　　Withsuchconversation，possessingtheinestimablecharmofblendingamusementwithinstruction，didMr。Wellerbeguilethetediousnessofthejourney，duringthegreaterpartoftheday。Topicsofconversationwereneverwanting，forevenwhenanypauseoccurredinMr。Weller’sloquacity，itwasabundantlysuppliedbythedesireevincedbyMr。Magnustomakehimselfacquaintedwiththewholeofthepersonalhistoryofhisfellow-travellers，andhisloudly-expressedanxietyateverystage，respectingthesafetyandwell-beingofthetwobags，theleatherhat-box，andthebrown-paperparcel。
　　InthemainstreetofIpswich，ontheleft-handsideoftheway，ashortdistanceafteryouhavepassedthroughtheopenspacefrontingtheTownHall，standsaninnknownfarandwidebytheappellationofTheGreatWhiteHorse，renderedthemoreconspicuousbyastonestatueofsomerampaciousanimalwithflowingmaneandtail，distantlyresemblinganinsanecart-horse，whichiselevatedabovetheprincipaldoor。TheGreatWhiteHorseisfamousintheneighbourhood，inthesamedegreeasaprizeox，orcountypaper-chronicledturnip，orunwieldypig——foritsenormoussize。Neverweresuchlabyrinthsofuncarpetedpassages，suchclustersofmouldy，ill-lightedrooms，suchhugenumbersofsmalldensforeatingorsleepingin，beneathanyoneroof，asarecollectedtogetherbetweenthefourwallsoftheGreatWhiteHorseatIpswich。
　　ItwasatthedoorofthisovergrowntavernthattheLondoncoachstopped，atthesamehoureveryevening。anditwasfromthissameLondoncoach，thatMr。Pickwick，SamWeller，andMr。PeterMagnusdismounted，ontheparticulareveningtowhichthischapterofourhistorybearsreference。
　　Doyoustophere，sir？inquiredMr。PeterMagnus，whenthestripedbag，andtheredbag，andthebrown-paperparcel，andtheleatherhat-box，hadallbeendepositedinthepassage。Doyoustophere，sir？
　　Ido，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Dearme，saidMr。Magnus，Ineverknewanythingliketheseextraordinarycoincidences。Why，Istopheretoo。Ihopewedinetogether。
　　Withpleasure，repliedMr。Pickwick。IamnotquitecertainwhetherIhaveanyfriendshereornot，though。IsthereanygentlemanofthenameofTupmanhere，waiter？
　　Acorpulentman，withafortnight’snapkinunderhisarm，andcoevalstockingsonhislegs，slowlydesistedfromhisoccupationofstaringdownthestreet，onthisquestionbeingputtohimbyMr。Pickwick。and，afterminutelyinspectingthatgentleman’sappearance，fromthecrownofhishattothelowestbuttonofhisgaiters，repliedemphatically：
　　No。
　　NoranygentlemanofthenameofSnodgrass？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
　　No！
　　NorWinkle？
　　No。
　　Myfriendshavenotarrivedto-day，sir，saidMr。Pickwick。Wewilldinealone，then。Shewusaprivateroom，waiter。
　　Onthisrequestbeingpreferred，thecorpulentmancondescendedtoorderthebootstobringinthegentlemen’sluggage。andprecedingthemdownalongdarkpassage，usheredthemintoalargebadly-furnishedapartment，withadirtygrate，inwhichasmallfirewasmakingawretchedattempttobecheerful，butwasfastsinkingbeneaththedispiritinginfluenceoftheplace。Afterthelapseofanhour，abitoffishandasteakwereserveduptothetravellers，andwhenthedinnerwasclearedaway，Mr。
　　PickwickandMr。PeterMagnusdrewtheirchairsuptothefire，andhavingorderedabottleoftheworstpossibleportwine，atthehighestpossibleprice，forthegoodofthehouse，drankbrandyandwaterfortheirown。
　　Mr。PeterMagnuswasnaturallyofaverycommunicativedisposition，andthebrandyandwateroperatedwithwonderfuleffectinwarmingintolifethedeepesthiddensecretsofhisbosom。Aftersundryaccountsofhimself，hisfamily，hisconnexions，hisfriends，hisjokes，hisbusiness，andhisbrothersmosttalkativemenhaveagreatdealtosayabouttheirbrothers，Mr。PeterMagnustookablueviewofMr。Pickwickthroughhiscolouredspectaclesforseveralminutes，andthensaid，withanairofmodesty：
　　Andwhatdoyouthink——whatdoyouthink，Mr。Pickwick——Ihavecomedownherefor？
　　Uponmyword，saidMr。Pickwick，itiswhollyimpossibleformetoguess。onbusiness，perhaps。
　　Partlyright，sir，repliedMr。PeterMagnus，butpartlywrong，atthesametime：tryagain，Mr。Pickwick。
　　Really，saidMr。Pickwick，Imustthrowmyselfonyourmercy，totellmeornot，asyoumaythinkbest。forIshouldneverguess，ifIweretotryallnight。
　　Why，then，he——he——he！saidMr。PeterMagnus，withabashfultitter，whatwouldyouthink，Mr。Pickwick，ifIhadcomedownhere，tomakeaproposal，sir，eh？He——he——he！
　　Think！Thatyouareverylikelytosucceed，repliedMr。Pickwick，withoneofhisbeamingsmiles。
　　Ah！saidMr。Magnus。Butdoyoureallythinkso，Mr。Pickwick？Doyou，though？
　　Certainly，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　No。butyou’rejoking，though。
　　Iamnot，indeed。
　　Why，then，saidMr。Magnus，toletyouintoalittlesecret，Ithinksotoo。Idon’tmindtellingyou，Mr。Pickwick，althoughI’mdreadfuljealousbynature——horrid——thattheladyisinthishouse。HereMr。Magnustookoffhisspectacles，onpurposetowink，andthenputthemonagain。
　　That’swhatyouwererunningoutoftheroomfor，beforedinner，then，sooften，saidMr。Pickwick，archly。
　　Hush！Yes，you’reright，thatwasit。notsuchafoolastoseeher，though。
　　No！
　　No。wouldn’tdo，youknow，afterhavingjustcomeoffajourney。Waittillto-morrow，sir。doublethechancethen。Mr。Pickwick，sir，thereisasuitofclothesinthatbag，andahatinthatbox，whichIexpect，intheeffecttheywillproduce，willbeinvaluabletome，sir。
　　Indeed！saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Yes。youmusthaveobservedmyanxietyaboutthemto-day。Idonotbelievethatsuchanothersuitofclothes，andsuchahat，couldbeboughtformoney，Mr。Pickwick。
　　Mr。Pickwickcongratulatedthefortunateowneroftheirresistiblegarments，ontheiracquisition。andMr。PeterMagnusremainedforafewmomentsapparentlyabsorbedincontemplation。
　　She’safinecreature，saidMr。Magnus。
　　Isshe？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Very，saidMr。Magnus，very。Shelivesabouttwentymilesfromhere，Mr。Pickwick。Iheardshewouldbehereto-nightandallto-morrowforenoon，andcamedowntoseizetheopportunity。Ithinkaninnisagoodsortofaplacetoproposetoasinglewomanin，Mr。Pickwick。Sheismorelikelytofeelthelonelinessofhersituationintravelling，perhaps，thanshewouldbeathome。Whatdoyouthink，Mr。Pickwick？
　　Ithinkitveryprobable，repliedthatgentleman。
　　Ibegyourpardon，Mr。Pickwick，saidMr。PeterMagnus，butIamnaturallyrathercurious。whatmayyouhavecomedownherefor？
　　Onafarlesspleasanterrand，sir，repliedMr。Pickwick，thecolourmountingtohisfaceattherecollection。Ihavecomedownhere，sir，toexposethetreacheryandfalsehoodofanindividual，uponwhosetruthandhonourIplacedimplicitreliance。
　　Dearme，saidMr。PeterMagnus，that’sveryunpleasant。Itisalady，Ipresume？Eh？ah！Sly，Mr。Pickwick，sly。Well，Mr。Pickwick，sir，Iwouldn’tthese，sir，verypainful。Don’tmindme，Mr。Pickwick，ifyouwishtogiveventtoyourfeelings。Iknowwhatitistobejilted，sir。Ihaveenduredthatsortofthingthreeorfourtimes。
　　Iammuchobligedtoyou，foryourcondolenceonwhatyoupresumetobemymelancholycase，saidMr。Pickwick，windinguphiswatch，andlayingitonthetable，but——
　　No，no，saidMr。PeterMagnus，notawordmore：it’sapainfulsubject。
　　Isee，Isee。What’sthetime，Mr。Pickwick？
　　Pasttwelve。
　　Dearme，it’stimetogotobed。Itwillneverdo，sittinghere。I
　　shallbepaleto-morrow，Mr。Pickwick。
　　Atthebarenotionofsuchacalamity，Mr。PeterMagnusrangthebellforthechamber-maid。andthestripedbag，theredbag，theleathernhat-box，andthebrown-paperparcel，havingbeenconveyedtohisbed-room，heretiredincompanywithajapannedcandlestick，toonesideofthehouse，whileMr。Pickwick，andanotherjapannedcandlestick，wereconductedthroughamultitudeoftortuouswindings，toanother。
　　Thisisyourroom，sir，saidthechamber-maid。
　　Verywell，repliedMr。Pickwick，lookingroundhim。Itwasatolerablylargedouble-beddedroom，withafire。uponthewhole，amorecomfortable-lookingapartmentthanMr。Pickwick’sshortexperienceoftheaccommodationsoftheGreatWhiteHorsehadledhimtoexpect。
　　Nobodysleepsintheotherbed，ofcourse，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Oh，no，sir。
　　Verygood。Tellmyservanttobringmeupsomehotwaterathalf-pasteightinthemorning，andthatIshallnotwanthimanymoreto-night。
　　Yes，sir。AndbiddingMr。Pickwickgoodnight，thechamber-maidretired，andlefthimalone。
　　Mr。Pickwicksathimselfdowninachairbeforethefire，andfellintoatrainoframblingmeditations。Firsthethoughtofhisfriends，andwonderedwhentheywouldjoinhim。thenhismindrevertedtoMrs。MarthaBardell。
　　andfromthatladyitwandered，byanaturalprocess，tothedingycounting-houseofDodsonandFogg。FromDodsonandFogg’sitflewoffatatangent，totheverycentreofthehistoryofthequeerclient。andthenitcamebacktotheGreatWhiteHorseatIpswich，withsufficientclearnesstoconvinceMr。Pickwickthathewasfallingasleep。Soherousedhimself，andbegantoundress，whenherecollectedhehadlefthiswatchonthetabledown-stairs。
　　Now，thiswatchwasaspecialfavouritewithMr。Pickwick，havingbeencarriedabout，beneaththeshadowofhiswaistcoat，foragreaternumberofyearsthanwefeelcalledupontostateatpresent。Thepossibilityofgoingtosleep，unlessitweretickinggentlybeneathhispillow，orinthewatch-pocketoverhishead，hadneverenteredMr。Pickwick’sbrain。
　　Soasitwasprettylatenow，andhewasunwillingtoringhisbellatthathourofthenight，heslippedonhiscoat，ofwhichhehadjustdivestedhimself，andtakingthejapannedcandlestickinhishand，walkedquietlydown-stairs。
　　ThemorestairsMr。Pickwickwentdown，themorestairsthereseemedtobetodescend，andagainandagain，whenMr。Pickwickgotintosomenarrowpassage，andbegantocongratulatehimselfonhavinggainedtheground-floor，didanotherflightofstairsappearbeforehisastonishedeyes。Atlasthereachedastonehall，whichherememberedtohaveseenwhenheenteredthehouse。Passageafterpassagedidheexplore。roomafterroomdidhepeepinto。atlength，ashewasonthepointofgivingupthesearchindespair，heopenedthedooroftheidenticalroominwhichhehadspenttheevening，andbeheldhismissingpropertyonthetable。
　　Mr。Pickwickseizedthewatchintriumph，andproceededtore-tracehisstepstohisbed-chamber。Ifhisprogressdownwardhadbeenattendedwithdifficultiesanduncertainty，hisjourneybackwasinfinitelymoreperplexing。Rowsofdoors，garnishedwithbootsofeveryshape，make，andsize，branchedoffineverypossibledirection。Adozentimesdidhesoftlyturnthehandleofsomebed-roomdoorwhichresembledhisown，whenagruffcryfromwithinofWhothedevil’sthat？orWhatdoyouwanthere？
　　causedhimtostealaway，ontiptoe，withaperfectlymarvellouscelerity。
　　Hewasreducedtothevergeofdespair，whenanopendoorattractedhisattention。Hepeepedin。Rightatlast！Therewerethetwobeds，whosesituationheperfectlyremembered，andthefirestillburning。Hiscandle，notalongonewhenhefirstreceivedit，hadflickeredawayinthedraftsofairthroughwhichhehadpassed，andsankintothesocketasheclosedthedoorafterhim。Nomatter，saidMr。Pickwick，Icanundressmyselfjustaswellbythelightofthefire。
　　Thebedsteadsstoodoneoneachsideofthedoor。andontheinnersideofeachwasalittlepath，terminatinginarush-bottomedchair，justwideenoughtoadmitofaperson’sgettinginto，oroutofbed，onthatside，ifheorshethoughtproper。Havingcarefullydrawnthecurtainsofhisbedontheoutside，Mr。Pickwicksatdownontherush-bottomedchairandleisurelydivestedhimselfofhisshoesandgaiters。Hethentookoffandfoldeduphiscoat，waistcoat，andneckcloth，andslowlydrawingonhistassellednight-cap，secureditfirmlyonhishead，bytyingbeneathhischinthestringswhichhealwayshadattachedtothatarticleofdress。
　　Itwasatthismomentthattheabsurdityofhisrecentbewildermentstruckuponhismind。Throwinghimselfbackintherush-bottomedchair，Mr。Pickwicklaughedtohimselfsoheartily，thatitwouldhavebeenquitedelightfultoanymanofwell-constitutedmindtohavewatchedthesmilesthatexpandedhisamiablefeaturesastheyshoneforthfrombeneaththenight-cap。
　　Itisthebestidea，saidMr。Pickwicktohimself，smilingtillhealmostcrackedthenight-capstrings：Itisthebestidea，mylosingmyselfinthisplace，andwanderingaboutthosestaircases，thatIeverheardof。Droll，droll，verydroll。HereMr。Pickwicksmiledagain，abroadersmilethanbefore，andwasabouttocontinuetheprocessofundressing，inthebestpossiblehumour，whenhewassuddenlystoppedbyamostunexpectedinterruption。towit，theentranceintotheroomofsomepersonwithacandle，who，afterlockingthedoor，advancedtothedressingtable，andsetdownthelightuponit。
　　ThesmilethatplayedonMr。Pickwick’sfeatureswasinstantaneouslylostinalookofthemostunboundedandwonder-strickensurprise。Theperson，whoeveritwas，hadcomeinsosuddenlyandwithsolittlenoise，thatMr。Pickwickhadhadnotimetocallout，oropposetheirentrance。
　　Whocoulditbe？Arobber？Someevil-mindedpersonwhohadseenhimcomeup-stairswithahandsomewatchinhishand，perhaps。Whatwashetodo！
　　TheonlywayinwhichMr。Pickwickcouldcatchaglimpseofhismysteriousvisitorwiththeleastdangerofbeingseenhimself，wasbycreepingontothebed，andpeepingoutfrombetweenthecurtainsontheoppositeside。
　　Tothismanoeuvreheaccordinglyresorted。Keepingthecurtainscarefullyclosedwithhishand，sothatnothingmoreofhimcouldbeseenthanhisfaceandnight-cap，andputtingonhisspectacles，hemusteredupcourage，andlookedout。
　　Mr。Pickwickalmostfaintedwithhorroranddismay。Standingbeforethedressing-glasswasamiddle-agedlady，inyellowcurl-papers，busilyengagedinbrushingwhatladiescalltheirback-hair。Howevertheunconsciousmiddle-agedladycameintothatroom，itwasquiteclearthatshecontemplatedremainingthereforthenight。forshehadbroughtarushlightandshadewithher，which，withpraiseworthyprecautionagainstfire，shehadstationedinabasinonthefloor，whereitwasglimmeringaway，likeagiganticlighthouseinaparticularlysmallpieceofwater。
　　Blessmysoul，thoughtMr。Pickwick，whatadreadfulthing！
　　Hem！saidthelady。andinwentMr。Pickwick’sheadwithautomaton-likerapidity。
　　Inevermetwithanythingsoawfulasthis。thoughtpoorMr。Pickwick，thecoldperspirationstartingindropsuponhisnight-cap。Never。Thisisfearful。
　　Itwasquiteimpossibletoresisttheurgentdesiretoseewhatwasgoingforward。SooutwentMr。Pickwick’sheadagain。Theprospectwasworsethanbefore。Themiddle-agedladyhadfinishedarrangingherhair。
　　hadcarefullyenvelopeditinamuslinnight-capwithasmallplaitedborder。
　　andwasgazingpensivelyonthefire。
　　Thismatterisgrowingalarming，reasonedMr。Pickwickwithhimself。
　　Ican’tallowthingstogooninthisway。Bytheself-possessionofthatladyitiscleartomethatImusthavecomeintothewrongroom。IfI
　　calloutshe’llalarmthehouse。butifIremainheretheconsequenceswillbestillmorefrightful。
　　Mr。Pickwick，itisquiteunnecessarytosay，wasoneofthemostmodestanddelicate-mindedofmortals。Theveryideaofexhibitinghisnight-captoaladyoverpoweredhim，buthehadtiedthoseconfoundedstringsinaknot，and，dowhathewould，hecouldn’tgetitoff。Thedisclosuremustbemade。Therewasonlyoneotherwayofdoingit。Heshrunkbehindthecurtains，andcalledoutveryloudly。
　　Ha——hum！
　　Thattheladystartedatthisunexpectedsoundwasevident，byherfallingupagainsttherushlightshade。thatshepersuadedherselfitmusthavebeentheeffectofimaginationwasequallyclear，forwhenMr。Pickwick，undertheimpressionthatshehadfaintedawaystone-deadfromfright，venturedtopeepoutagain，shewasgazingpensivelyonthefireasbefore。
　　Mostextraordinaryfemalethis，thoughtMr。Pickwick，poppinginagain。
　　Ha——hum！
　　Theselastsounds，solikethoseinwhich，aslegendsinformus，theferociousgiantBlunderborewasinthehabitofexpressinghisopinionthatitwastimetolaythecloth，weretoodistinctlyaudibletobeagainmistakenfortheworkingsoffancy。
　　GraciousHeaven！saidthemiddle-agedlady，what’sthat？
　　It’s——it’s——onlyagentleman，Ma’am，saidMr。Pickwickfrombehindthecurtains。
　　Agentleman！saidtheladywithaterrificscream。
　　It’sallover！thoughtMr。Pickwick。
　　Astrangeman！shriekedthelady。Anotherinstantandthehousewouldbealarmed。Hergarmentsrustledassherushedtowardsthedoor。
　　Ma’am，saidMr。Pickwick，thrustingouthishead，intheextremityofhisdesperation，Ma’am！
　　Now，althoughMr。Pickwickwasnotactuatedbyanydefiniteobjectinputtingouthishead，itwasinstantaneouslyproductiveofagoodeffect。
　　Thelady，aswehavealreadystated，wasnearthedoor。Shemustpassit，toreachthestaircase，andshewouldmostundoubtedlyhavedonesobythistime，hadnotthesuddenapparitionofMr。Pickwick’snight-capdrivenherbackintotheremotestcorneroftheapartment，whereshestoodstaringwildlyatMr。Pickwick，whileMr。Pickwickinhisturnstaredwildlyather。
　　Wretch，saidthelady，coveringhereyeswithherhands，whatdoyouwanthere？
　　Nothing，Ma’am。nothing，whatever，Ma’am。saidMr。Pickwickearnestly。
　　Nothing！saidthelady，lookingup。
　　Nothing，Ma’am，uponmyhonour，saidMr。Pickwick，noddinghisheadsoenergeticallythatthetasselofhisnight-capdancedagain。Iamalmostreadytosink，Ma’am，beneaththeconfusionofaddressingaladyinmynight-capheretheladyhastilysnatchedoffhers，butIcan’tgetitoff，Ma’amhereMr。Pickwickgaveitatremendoustug，inproofofthestatement。Itisevidenttome，Ma’am，now，thatIhavemistakenthisbed-roomformyown。Ihadnotbeenherefiveminutes，Ma’am，whenyousuddenlyenteredit。
　　Ifthisimprobablestorybereallytrue，sir，saidthelady，sobbingviolently，youwillleaveitinstantly。
　　Iwill，Ma’am，withthegreatestpleasure，repliedMr。Pickwick。
　　Instantly，sir，saidthelady。
　　Certainly，Ma’am，interposedMr。Pickwickveryquickly。Certainly，Ma’am。I——I——amverysorry，Ma’am，’saidMr。Pickwick，makinghisappearanceatthebottomofthebed，tohavebeentheinnocentoccasionofthisalarmandemotion。deeplysorry，Ma’am。
　　Theladypointedtothedoor。OneexcellentqualityofMr。Pickwick’scharacterwasbeautifullydisplayedatthismoment，underthemosttryingcircumstances。Althoughhehadhastilyputonhishatoverhisnight-cap，afterthemanneroftheoldpatrol。althoughhecarriedhisshoesandgaitersinhishand，andhiscoatandwaistcoatoverhisarm。nothingcouldsubduehisnativepoliteness。
　　Iamexceedinglysorry，Ma’am，saidMr。Pickwick，bowingverylow。
　　Ifyouare，sir，youwillatonceleavetheroom，saidthelady。
　　Immediately，Ma’am。thisinstant，Ma’am，saidMr。Pickwick，openingthedoor，anddroppingbothhisshoeswithacrashinsodoing。
　　Itrust，Ma’am，resumedMr。Pickwick，gatheringuphisshoes，andturningroundtobowagain：Itrust，Ma’am，thatmyunblemishedcharacter，andthedevotedrespectIentertainforyoursex，willpleadassomeslightexcuseforthis——ButbeforeMr。Pickwickcouldconcludethesentencetheladyhadthrusthimintothepassage，andlockedandboltedthedoorbehindhim。
　　Whatevergroundsofself-congratulationMr。Pickwickmighthaveforhavingescapedsoquietlyfromhislateawkwardsituation，hispresentpositionwasbynomeansenviable。Hewasalone，inanopenpassage，inastrangehouse，inthemiddleofthenight，halfdressed。itwasnottobesupposedthathecouldfindhiswayinperfectdarknesstoaroomwhichhehadbeenwhollyunabletodiscoverwithalight，andifhemadetheslightestnoiseinhisfruitlessattemptstodoso，hestoodeverychanceofbeingshotat，andperhapskilled，bysomewakefultraveller。Hehadnoresourcebuttoremainwherehewasuntildaylightappeared。Soaftergropinghiswayafewpacesdownthepassage，and，tohisinfinitealarm，stumblingoverseveralpairsofbootsinsodoing，Mr。Pickwickcrouchedintoalittlerecessinthewall，towaitformorningasphilosophicallyashemight。
　　Hewasnotdestined，however，toundergothisadditionaltrialofpatience：
　　forhehadnotbeenlongensconcedinhispresentconcealmentwhen，tohisunspeakablehorror，aman，bearingalight，appearedattheendofthepassage。Hishorrorwassuddenlyconvertedintojoy，however，whenherecognisedtheformofhisfaithfulattendant。ItwasindeedMr。SamuelWeller，whoaftersittingupthuslate，inconversationwiththeBoots，whowassittingupforthemail，wasnowabouttoretiretorest。
　　Sam，saidMr。Pickwick，suddenlyappearingbeforehim，where’smybed-room？
　　Mr。Wellerstaredathismasterwiththemostemphaticsurprise。anditwasnotuntilthequestionhadbeenrepeatedthreeseveraltimes，thatheturnedround，andledthewaytothelong-soughtapartment。
　　Sam，saidMr。Pickwickashegotintobed，Ihavemadeoneofthemostextraordinarymistakesto-night，thateverwereheardof。
　　Werylikely，sir，repliedMr。Wellerdrily。
　　ButofthisIamdetermined，Sam，saidMr。Pickwick。thatifIweretostopinthishouseforsixmonths，Iwouldnevertrustmyselfaboutit，alone，again。
　　That’stheweryprudentestresolutionasyoucouldcometo，sir，repliedMr。Weller。Youraytherwantsomebodytolookarteryou，sir，wenyourjudgmentgoesoutawisitin’。
　　Whatdoyoumeanbythat，Sam？saidMr。Pickwick。Heraisedhimselfinbed，andextendedhishand，asifhewereabouttosaysomethingmore。
　　butsuddenlycheckinghimself，turnedround，andbadehisvaletGoodnight。
　　Goodnight，sir，repliedMr。Weller。Hepausedwhenhegotoutsidethedoor——shookhishead——walkedon——stopped——snuffedthecandle——shookhisheadagain——andfinallyproceededslowlytohischamber，apparentlyburiedintheprofoundestmeditation。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter23[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXIIIINWHICHMR。SAMUELWELLERBEGINSTODEVOTEHISENERGIES
　　TOTHERETURNMATCHBETWEENHIMSELFANDMR。TROTTER
　　INasmallroominthevicinityofthestable-yard，betimesinthemorning，whichwasusheredinbyMr。Pickwick’sadventurewiththemiddle-agedladyintheyellowcurlpapers，satMr。Wellersenior，preparinghimselfforhisjourneytoLondon。Hewassittinginanexcellentattitudeforhavinghisportraittaken。
　　Itisverypossiblethatatsomeearlierperiodofhiscareer，Mr。Weller’sprofilemighthavepresentedaboldanddeterminedoutline。Hisface，however，hadexpandedundertheinfluenceofgoodliving，andadispositionremarkableforresignation。anditsboldfleshlycurveshadsofarextendedbeyondthelimitsoriginallyassignedthem，thatunlessyoutookafullviewofhiscountenanceinfront，itwasdifficulttodistinguishmorethantheextremetipofaveryrubicundnose。Hischin，fromthesamecause，hadacquiredthegraveandimposingformwhichisgenerallydescribedbyprefixingtheworddoubletothatexpressivefeature。andhiscomplexionexhibitedthatpeculiarlymottledcombinationofcolourswhichisonlytobeseeningentlemenofhisprofession，andinunderdoneroastbeef。Roundhisneckheworeacrimsontravellingshawl，whichmergedintohischinbysuchimperceptiblegradations，thatitwasdifficulttodistinguishthefoldsoftheone，fromthefoldsoftheother。Overthis，hemountedalongwaistcoatofabroadpink-stripedpattern，andoverthatagain，awide-skirtedgreencoat，ornamentedwithlargebrassbuttons，whereofthetwowhichgarnishedthewaist，weresofarapart，thatnomanhadeverbeheldthemboth，atthesametime。Hishair，whichwasshort，sleek，andblack，wasjustvisiblebeneaththecapaciousbrimofalow-crownedbrownhat。Hislegswereencasedinknee-cordbreeches，andpaintedtop-boots：
　　andacopperwatch-chain，terminatinginoneseal，andakeyofthesamematerial，dangledlooselyfromhiscapaciouswaistband。
　　WehavesaidthatMr。WellerwasengagedinpreparingforhisjourneytoLondon——hewastakingsustenance，infact。Onthetablebeforehim，stoodapotofale，acoldroundofbeef，andaveryrespectable-lookingloaf，toeachofwhichhedistributedhisfavoursinturn，withthemostrigidimpartiality。Hehadjustcutamightyslicefromthelatter，whenthefootstepsofsomebodyenteringtheroom，causedhimtoraisehishead。
　　andhebeheldhisson。
　　Mornin’，Sammy！saidthefather。
　　Thesonwalkeduptothepotofale，andnoddingsignificantlytohisparent，tookalongdraughtbywayofreply。
　　Werygoodpowero’suction，Sammy，saidMr。Wellertheelder，lookingintothepot，whenhisfirst-bornhadsetitdownhalfempty。You’dha’
　　madeanuncommonfineoyster，Sammy，ifyou’dbeenborninthatstationo’life。Yes，Ides-sayIshouldha’managedtopickuparespectablelivin’，repliedSam，applyinghimselftothecoldbeef，withconsiderablevigour。
　　I’mwerysorry，Sammy，saidtheelderMr。Weller，shakinguptheale，bydescribingsmallcircleswiththepot，preparatorytodrinking。I’mwerysorry，Sammy，tohearfromyourlips，asyouletyourselfbegammonedbythat’eremulberryman。Ialwaysthought，uptothreedaysago，thatthenamesofVellerandgammoncouldnevercomeintocontract，Sammy，never。
　　Alwaysexceptin’thecaseofawidder，ofcourse，saidSam。
　　Widders，Sammy，repliedMr。Weller，slightlychangingcolour。Widdersare’ceptionstoev’ryrule。Ihaveheerdhowmanyord’narywomen，onewidder’sequalto，inpinto’comin’overyou。Ithinkit’sfive-and-twenty，butIdon’trightlyknowvetheritan’tmore。
　　Well。that’sprettywell，saidSam。
　　Besides，continuedMr。Weller，notnoticingtheinterruption，that’sawerydifferentthing。Youknowwhatthecounselsaid，Sammy，asdefendedthegen’l’m’nasbeathiswifewiththepoker，veneverhegotjolly。`Andarterall，myLord，’sayshe，`it’saamableweakness。’SoIsaysrespectin’
　　widders，Sammy，andsoyou’llsay，venyougetsasoldasme。
　　Ioughttoha’know’dbetter，Iknow，saidSam。
　　Oughttoha’know’dbetter！repeatedMr。Weller，strikingthetablewithhisfist。Oughttoha’know’dbetter！why，Iknowayoung’unashasn’thadhalfnorquarteryoureddication——ashasn’tsleptaboutthemarkets，no，notsixmonths——who’dha’scornedtobeletin，insuchavay。scornedit，Sammy。Intheexcitementoffeelingproducedbythisagonisingreflection，Mr。Wellerrangthebell，andorderedanadditionalpintofale。
　　Well，it’snousetalkingaboutitnow，saidSam。It’sover，andcan’tbehelped，andthat’soneconsolation，astheyalwayssaysinTurkey，ventheycutsthewrongman’sheadoff。It’smyinningsnow，gov’rnor，andassoonasIcatchesholdo’thisereTrotter，I’llhaveagood’un。
　　Ihopeyouwill，Sammy。Ihopeyouwill，returnedMr。Weller。Here’syourhealth，Sammy，andmayyouspeedilyvipeoffthedisgraceasyou’veinflictedonthefamilyname。Inhonourofthistoast，Mr。Wellerimbibedatadraught，atleasttwo-thirdsofthenewly-arrivedpint，andhandeditovertohisson，todisposeoftheremainder，whichheinstantaneouslydid。
　　Andnow，Sammy，saidMr。Weller，consultingthelargedouble-facedsilverwatchthathungattheendofthecopperchain。Nowit’stimeI
　　wasupattheofficetogetmyvay-bill，andseethecoachloaded。forcoaches，Sammy，islikeguns——theyrequiretobeloadedwithwerygreatcare，aforetheygooff。
　　Atthisparentalandprofessionaljoke，Mr。Wellerjuniorsmiledafilialsmile。Hisreversedparentcontinuedinasolemntone：
　　I’magoin’toleaveyou，Samivelmyboy，andthere’snotellingvenIshallseeyouagain。Yourmother-in-lawmayha’beentoomuchforme，orathousandthingsmayhavehappenedbythetimeyounexthearsanynewso’thecelebratedMr。Vellero’theBellSavage。Thefamilynamedependswerymuchuponyou，Samivel，andIhopeyou’lldowot’srightbyit。Uponalllittlepintso’breedin’，IknowImaytrustyouasvellasifitwasmyownself。SoI’veonlythishereonelittlebitofadwicetogiveyou。
　　Ifeveryougetstoup’ardso’fifty，andfeelsdisposedtogoamarryin’
　　anybody——nomatterwho——jistyoushutyourselfupinyourownroom，ifyou’vegotone，andpisonyourselfoffhand。Hangin’swulgar，sodon’tyouhavenothin’tosaytothat。Pisonyourself，Samivel，myboy，pisonyourself，andyou’llbegladonitarterwards。Withtheseaffectingwords，Mr。Wellerlookedsteadfastlyonhisson，andturningslowlyuponhisheel，disappearedfromhissight。
　　Inthecontemplativemoodwhichthesewordshadawakened，Mr。SamuelWellerwalkedforthfromtheGreatWhiteHorsewhenhisfatherhadlefthim。andbendinghisstepstowardsSt。Clement’sChurch，endeavouredtodissipatehismelancholy，bystrollingamongitsancientprecincts。Hehadloiteredabout，forsometime，whenhefoundhimselfinaretiredspot——akindofcourt-yardofvenerableappearance——whichhediscoveredhadnootheroutletthantheturningbywhichhehadentered。Hewasaboutretracinghissteps，whenhewassuddenlytransfixedtothespotbyasuddenappearance：
　　andthemodeandmannerofthisappearance，wenowproceedtorelate。
　　Mr。SamuelWellerhadbeenstaringup，attheoldbrickhousesnowandthen，inhisdeepabstraction，bestowingawinkuponsomehealthy-lookingservantgirlasshedrewupablind，orthrewopenabed-roomwindow，whenthegreengateofagardenatthebottomoftheyardopened，andamanhavingemergedtherefrom，closedthegreengateverycarefullyafterhim，andwalkedbrisklytowardstheveryspotwhereMr。Wellerwasstanding。
　　Now，takingthis，asanisolatedfact，unaccompaniedbyanyattendantcircumstances，therewasnothingveryextraordinaryinit。becauseinmanypartsoftheworld，mendocomeoutofgardens，closegreengatesafterthem，andevenwalkbrisklyaway，withoutattractinganyparticularshareofpublicobservation。Itisclear，therefore，thattheremusthavebeensomethingintheman，orinhismanner，orboth，toattractMr。Weller’sparticularnotice。Whethertherewas，ornot，wemustleavethereadertodetermine，whenwehavefaithfullyrecordedthebehaviouroftheindividualinquestion。
　　Whenthemanhadshutthegreengateafterhim，hewalked，aswehavesaidtwicealready，withabriskpaceupthecourt-yard。buthenosoonercaughtsightofMr。Weller，thanhefaltered，andstopped，asifuncertain，forthemoment，whatcoursetoadopt。Asthegreengatewasclosedbehindhim，andtherewasnootheroutletbuttheoneinfront，however，hewasnotlonginperceivingthathemustpassMr。SamuelWellertogetaway。
　　Hethereforeresumedhisbriskpace，andadvanced，staringstraightbeforehim。Themostextraordinarythingaboutthemanwas，thathewascontortinghisfaceintothemostfearfulandastonishinggrimacesthateverwerebeheld。Nature’shandyworkneverwasdisguisedwithsuchextraordinaryartificialcarving，asthemanhadoverlaidhiscountenancewithinonemoment。
　　Well！saidMr。Wellertohimself，asthemanapproached。
　　Thisisweryodd。Icouldha’sworeitwashim。
　　Upcametheman，andhisfacebecamemorefrightfullydistortedthanever，ashedrewnearer。
　　Icouldtakemyoathtothat’ereblackhair，andmulberrysuit，saidMr。Weller。onlyIneverseesuchafaceasthat，afore。
　　AsMr。Wellersaidthis，theman’sfeaturesassumedanunearthlytwinge，perfectlyhideous。HewasobligedtopassverynearSam，however，andthescrutinisingglanceofthatgentlemanenabledhimtodetect，underalltheseappallingtwistsoffeature，somethingtoolikethesmalleyesofMr。JobTrotter，tobeeasilymistaken。
　　Hallo，yousir！shoutedSam，fiercely。
　　Thestrangerstopped。
　　Hallo！repeatedSam，stillmoregruffly。
　　Themanwiththehorribleface，looked，withthegreatestsurprise，upthecourt，anddownthecourt，andinatthewindowsofthehouses——everywherebutatSamWeller——andtookanotherstepforward，whenhewasbroughttoagain，byanothershout。
　　Hallo，yousir！saidSam，forthethirdtime。
　　Therewasnopretendingtomistakewherethevoicecamefromnow，sothestranger，havingnootherresource，atlastlookedSamWellerfullintheface。
　　Itwon’tdo，JobTrotter，saidSam。Come！Noneo’that’erenonsense。
　　Youain’tsowery’andsomethatyoucanaffordtothrowavaymanyo’yourgoodlooks。Bringthem’ereeyeso’your’nbackintotheirproperplaces，orI’llknock’emoutofyourhead。D’yehear？
　　AsMr。Wellerappearedfullydisposedtoactuptothespiritofthisaddress，Mr。Trottergraduallyallowedhisfacetoresumeitsnaturalexpression。
　　andthengivingastartofjoy，exclaimed，WhatdoIsee？Mr。Walker！
　　Ah，repliedSam。You’rewerygladtoseeme，ain’tyou？
　　Glad！exclaimedJobTrotter。oh，Mr。Walker，ifyouhadbutknownhowIhavelookedforwardtothismeeting！Itistoomuch，Mr。Walker。
　　Icannotbearit，indeedIcannot。Andwiththesewords，Mr。Trotterburstintoaregularinundationoftears，and，flinginghisarmsaroundthoseofMr。Weller，embracedhimclosely，inanecstasyofjoy。
　　Getoff！criedSam，indignantatthisprocess，andvainlyendeavouringtoextricatehimselffromthegraspofhisenthusiasticacquaintance。Getoff，Itellyou。Whatareyoucryingovermefor，youportableingine？
　　BecauseIamsogladtoseeyou，repliedJobTrotter，graduallyreleasingMr。Weller，asthefirstsymptomsofhispugnacitydisappeared。Oh，Mr。
　　Walker，thisistoomuch。
　　Toomuch！echoedSam。Ithinkitistoomuch——rayther！Nowwhathaveyougottosaytome，eh？
　　Mr。Trottermadenoreply。forthelittlepinkpocket-handkerchiefwasinfullforce。
　　Whathaveyougottosaytome，aforeIknockyourheadoff？repeatedMr。Weller，inathreateningmanner。
　　Eh！saidMr。Trotter，withalookofvirtuoussurprise。
　　Whathaveyougottosaytome？
　　I，Mr。Walker！
　　Don’tcallmeValker。myname’sVeller。youknowthatvellenough。
　　Whathaveyougottosaytome？
　　Blessyou，Mr。Walker——WalkerImean——agreatmanythings，ifyouwillcomeawaysomewhere，wherewecantalkcomfortably。IfyouknewhowIhavelookedforyou，Mr。Weller——
　　Weryhard，indeed，Is’pose？saidSam，drily。
　　Very，very，sir，repliedMr。Trotter，withoutmovingamuscleofhisface。Butshakehands，Mr。Weller。
　　Sameyedhiscompanionforafewseconds，andthen，asifactuatedbyasuddenimpulse，compliedwithhisrequest。
　　How，saidJobTrotter，astheywalkedaway，Howisyourdear，goodmaster？Oh，heisaworthygentleman，Mr。Weller！Ihopehedidn’tcatchcold，thatdreadfulnight，sir。
　　TherewasamomentarylookofdeepslynessinJobTrotter’seye，ashesaidthis，whichranathrillthroughMr。Weller’sclenchedfistasheburntwithadesiretomakeademonstrationonhisribs。Samconstrainedhimself，however，andrepliedthathismasterwasextremelywell。
　　Oh，Iamsoglad，repliedMr。Trotter，ishehere？
　　Isyour’n？askedSam，bywayofreply。
　　Oh，yes，heishere，andIgrievetosay，Mr。Weller，heisgoingon，worsethanever。
　　Ah，ah？saidSam。
　　Oh，shocking——terrible！
　　Ataboarding-school？saidSam。
　　No，notataboarding-school，repliedJobTrotter，withthesameslylookwhichSamhadnoticedbefore。Notataboarding-school。
　　Atthehousewiththegreengate？saidSam，eyeinghiscompanionclosely。
　　No，no——oh，notthere，repliedJob，withaquicknessveryunusualtohim，notthere。
　　Whatwasyouadom’there？askedSam，withasharpglance。
　　Gotinsidethegatebyaccident，perhaps？
　　Why，Mr。Weller，repliedJob，Idon’tmindtellingyoumylittlesecrets，because，youknow，wetooksuchafancyforeachotherwhenwefirstmet。Yourecollecthowpleasantwewerethatmorning？
　　Ohyes，saidSam，impatiently。Iremember。Well。
　　Well，repliedJob，speakingwithgreatprecision，andinthelowtoneofamanwhocommunicatesanimportantsecret。inthathousewiththegreengate，Mr。Weller，theykeepagoodmanyservants。
　　SoIshouldthink，fromthelookonit，interposedSam。
　　Yes，continuedMr。Trotter，andoneofthemisacook，whohassavedupalittlemoney，Mr。Weller，andisdesirous，ifshecanestablishherselfinlife，toopenalittleshopinthechandleryway，yousee。
　　Yes。
　　Yes，Mr。Weller。Well，sir，ImetheratachapelthatIgoto。averyneatlittlechapelinthistown，Mr。Weller，wheretheysingthenumberfourcollectionofhymns，whichIgenerallycarryaboutwithme，inalittlebook，whichyoumayperhapshaveseeninmyhand——andIgotalittleintimatewithher，Mr。Weller，andfromthat，anacquaintancesprungupbetweenus，andImayventuretosay，Mr。Weller，thatIamtobethechandler。
　　Ah，andaweryamiablechandleryou’llmake，repliedSam，eyeingJobwithasidelookofintensedislike。
　　Thegreatadvantageofthis，Mr。Weller，continuedJob，hiseyesfillingwithtearsashespoke，willbe，thatIshallbeabletoleavemypresentdisgracefulservicewiththatbadman，andtodevotemyselftoabetterandmorevirtuouslife。morelikethewayinwhichIwasbroughtup，Mr。
　　Weller。
　　Youmustha’beenwerynicelybroughtup，saidSam。
　　Oh，very，Mr。Weller，very，repliedJob。Attherecollectionofthepurityofhisyouthfuldays，Mr。Trotterpulledforththepinkhandkerchief，andweptcopiously。
　　Youmustha’beenanuncommonniceboy，togotoschoolvith，saidSam。
　　Iwas，sir，repliedJob，heavingadeepsigh。Iwastheidoloftheplace。
　　Ah，saidSam，Idon’twonderatit。Whatacomfortyoumustha’beentoyourblessedmother。
　　Atthesewords，Mr。JobTrotterinsertedanendofthepinkhandkerchiefintothecornerofeacheye，oneaftertheother，andbegantoweepcopiously。
　　Wot’sthematterviththeman，saidSam，indignantly。
　　Chelseawater-worksisnothin’toyou。Whatareyoumeltingvithnow？
　　Theconsciousnesso’willainy？
　　Icannotkeepmyfeelingsdown，Mr。Weller，saidJob，afterashortpause。TothinkthatmymastershouldhavesuspectedtheconversationIhadwithyours，andsodraggedmeawayinapost-chaise，andafterpersuadingthesweetyoungladytosaysheknewnothingofhim，andbribingtheschool-mistresstodothesame，desertedherforabetterspeculation！Oh！Mr。Weller，itmakesmeshudder。
　　Oh，thatwasthevay，wasit？saidMr。Weller。
　　Tobesureitwas，repliedJob。
　　Vell，saidSam，astheyhadnowarrivedneartheHotel，Ivanttohavealittlebito’talkwithyou，Job。soifyou’renotparticklerengaged，IshouldliketoseeyouattheGreatWhiteHorseto-night，somewheresabouteighto’clock。
　　Ishallbesuretocome，saidJob。
　　Yes，you’dbetter，repliedSam，withaverymeaninglook，orelseIshallperhapsbeaskingarteryou，attheothersideofthegreengate，andthenImightcutyouout，youknow。
　　Ishallbesuretobewithyou，sir，saidMr。Trotter。andwringingSam’shandwiththeutmostfervour，hewalkedaway。
　　Takecare，JobTrotter，takecare，saidSam，lookingafterhim，orIshallbeonetoomanyforyouthistime。Ishall，indeed。Havingutteredthissoliloquy，andlookedafterJobtillhewastobeseennomore，Mr。
　　Wellermadethebestofhiswaytohismaster’sbed-room。
　　It’sallintraining，sir，saidSam。
　　What’sintraining，Sam？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
　　Ihavefound’emout，sir，saidSam。
　　Foundoutwho？
　　That’erequeercustomer，andthemelan-chollychapwiththeblackhair。
　　Impossible，Sam！saidMr。Pickwick，withthegreatestenergy。Wherearethey，Sam。wherearethey？
　　Hush，hush！repliedMr。Weller。andasheassistedMr。Pickwicktodress，hedetailedtheplanofactiononwhichheproposedtoenter。
　　Butwhenisthistobedone，Sam？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
　　Allingoodtime，sir，repliedSam。
　　Whetheritwasdoneingoodtime，ornot，willbeseenhereafter。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]ThePickwickPapers：Chapter24[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]CHAPTERXXIVWHEREINMR。PETERMAGNUSGROWSJEALOUS，ANDTHEMIDDLE-AGED
　　LADYAPPREHENSIVE，WHICHBRINGSTHEPICKWICKIANSWITHINTHEGRASPOFTHE
　　LAW
　　WHENMr。PickwickdescendedtotheroominwhichheandMr。PeterMagnushadspenttheprecedingevening，hefoundthatgentlemanwiththemajorpartofthecontentsofthetwobags，theleathernhat-box，andthebrown-paperparcel，displayedtoallpossibleadvantageonhisperson，whilehehimselfwaspacingupanddowntheroominastateoftheutmostexcitementandagitation。
　　Goodmorning。sir，saidMr。PeterMagnus。Whatdoyouthinkofthis，sir？
　　Veryeffectiveindeed，repliedMr。Pickwick，surveyingthegarmentsofMr。PeterMagnuswithagood-naturedsmile。
　　Yes，Ithinkit’lldo，saidMr。Magnus。Mr。Pickwick，sir，Ihavesentupmycard。
　　Haveyou？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Andthewaiterbroughtbackword，thatshewouldseemeateleven——ateleven，sir。itonlywantsaquarternow。
　　Verynearthetime，saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Yes，itisrathernear，repliedMr。Magnus，rathertooneartobepleasant——eh！Mr。Pickwick，sir？
　　Confidenceisagreatthinginthesecases，observedMr。Pickwick。
　　Ibelieveitis，sir，saidMr。PeterMagnus。Iamveryconfident，sir。Really，Mr。Pickwick，Idonotseewhyamanshouldfeelanyfearinsuchacaseasthis，sir。Whatisit，sir？There’snothingtobeashamedof。it’samatterofmutualaccommodation，nothingmore。Husbandononeside，wifeontheother。That’smyviewofthematter，Mr。Pickwick。
　　Itisaveryphilosophicalone，repliedMr。Pickwick。Butbreakfastiswaiting，Mr。Magnus。Come。
　　Downtheysattobreakfast，butitwasevident，notwithstandingtheboastingofMr。PeterMagnus，thathelabouredunderaveryconsiderabledegreeofnervousness，ofwhichlossofappetite，apropensitytoupsetthetea-things，aspectralattemptatdrollery，andanirresistibleinclinationtolookattheclock，everyothersecond，wereamongtheprincipalsymptoms。
　　He——he——he，titteredMr。Magnus，affectingcheerfulness，andgaspingwithagitation。Itonlywantstwominutes，Mr。Pickwick。AmIpale，sir？
　　Notvery，repliedMr。Pickwick。
　　Therewasabriefpause。
　　Ibegyourpardon，Mr。Pickwick。buthaveyoueverdonethissortofthinginyourtime？saidMr。Magnus。
　　Youmeanproposing？saidMr。Pickwick。
　　Yes。
　　Never，saidMr。Pickwick，withgreatenergy，never。
　　Youhavenoidea，then，howit’sbesttobegin？saidMr。Magnus。
　　Why，saidMr。Pickwick，Imayhaveformedsomeideasuponthesubject，but，asIhaveneversubmittedthemtothetestofexperience，Ishouldbesorryifyouwereinducedtoregulateyourproceedingsbythem。
　　Ishouldfeelverymuchobligedtoyou，foranyadvice，sir，saidMr。Magnus，takinganotherlookattheclock：thehandofwhichwasvergingonthefiveminutespast。
　　Well，sir，saidMr。Pickwick，withtheprofoundsolemnitywithwhichthatgreatmancould，whenhepleased，renderhisremarkssodeeplyimpressive：
　　Ishouldcommence，sir，withatributetothelady’sbeautyandexcellentqualities。fromthem，sir，Ishoulddivergetomyownunworthiness。
　　Verygood，saidMr。Magnus。
　　Unworthinessforheronly，mind，sir，resumedMr。Pickwick。
　　fortoshewthatIwasnotwhollyunworthy，sir，Ishouldtakeabriefreviewofmypastlife，andpresentcondition。Ishouldargue，byanalogy，thattoanybodyelse，Imustbeaverydesirableobject。Ishouldthenexpatiateonthewarmthofmylove，andthedepthofmydevotion。PerhapsImightthenbetemptedtoseizeherhand。
　　Yes，Isee，saidMr。Magnus。thatwouldbeaverygreatpoint。
　　Ishouldthen，sir，continuedMr。Pickwick，growingwarmerasthesubjectpresenteditselfinmoreglowingcoloursbeforehim：Ishouldthen，sir，cometotheplainandsimplequestion，`Willyouhaveme？’I
　　thinkIamjustifiedinassumingthatuponthis，shewouldturnawayherhead。
　　Youthinkthatmaybetakenforgranted？saidMr。Magnus。becauseifshedidnotdothatattherightplace，itwouldbeembarrassing。
　　Ithinkshewould，saidMr。Pickwick。Uponthis，sir，Ishouldsqueezeherhand，andIthink——Ithink，Mr。Magnus——thatafterIhaddonethat，supposingtherewasnorefusal，Ishouldgentlydrawawaythehandkerchief，whichmyslightknowledgeofhumannatureleadsmetosupposetheladywouldbeapplyingtohereyesatthemoment，andstealarespectfulkiss。
　　IthinkIshouldkissher，Mr。Magnus。andatthisparticularpoint，I
　　amdecidedlyofopinionthatiftheladyweregoingtotakemeatall，shewouldmurmurintomyearsabashfulacceptance。
　　Mr。Magnusstarted。gazedonMr。Pickwick’sintelligentface，forashorttimeinsilence。andthenthedialpointingtothetenminutespast
　　shookhimwarmlybythehand，andrusheddesperatelyfromtheroom。
　　Mr。Pickwickhadtakenafewstridestoandfro。andthesmallhandoftheclockfollowingthelatterpartofhisexample，hadarrivedatthefigurewhichindicatesthehalfhour，whenthedoorsuddenlyopened。HeturnedroundtomeetMr。PeterMagnus，andencountered，inhisstead，thejoyousfaceofMr。Tupman，theserenecountenanceofMr。Winkle，andtheintellectuallineamentsofMr。Snodgrass。AsMr。Pickwickgreetedthem，Mr。PeterMagnustrippedintotheroom。
　　Myfriends，thegentlemanIwasspeakingof——Mr。Magnus，saidMr。
　　Pickwick。
　　Yourservant，gentlemen，saidMr。Magnus，evidentlyinahighstateofexcitement。Mr。Pickwick，allowmetospeaktoyou，onemoment，sir。
　　Ashesaidthis，Mr。MagnusharnessedhisforefingertoMr。Pickwick’sbutton-hole，and，drawinghimtoawindowrecess，said：
　　Congratulateme，Mr。Pickwick。Ifollowedyouradvicetotheveryletter。
　　Anditwasallcorrect，wasit？inquiredMr。Pickwick。
　　Itwas，sir。Couldnotpossiblyhavebeenbetter，repliedMr。Magnus。
　　Mr。Pickwick，sheismine。
　　Icongratulateyouwithallmyheart，repliedMr。Pickwick，warmlyshakinghisnewfriendbythehand。
　　Youmustseeher，sir，saidMr。Magnus。thisway，ifyouplease。
　　Excuseusforoneinstant，gentlemen。Hurryingoninthisway，Mr。PeterMagnusdrewMr。Pickwickfromtheroom。Hepausedatthenextdoorinthepassage，andtappedgentlythereat。
　　Comein，saidafemalevoice。Andintheywent。
　　MissWitherfield，saidMr。Magnus，Allowmetointroducemyveryparticularfriend，Mr。Pickwick。Mr。Pickwick，IbegtomakeyouknowntoMissWitherfield。
　　Theladywasattheupperendoftheroom。AsMr。Pickwickbowed，hetookhisspectaclesfromhiswaistcoatpocket，andputthemon。aprocesswhichhehadnosoonergonethrough，than，utteringanexclamationofsurprise，Mr。Pickwickretreatedseveralpaces，andthelady，withahalf-suppressedscream，hidherfaceinherhands，anddroppedintoachair。whereuponMr。PeterMagnuswasstrickenmotionlessonthespot，andgazedfromonetotheother，withacountenanceexpressiveoftheextremitiesofhorrorandsurprise。
　　Thiscertainlywas，toallappearance，veryunaccountablebehaviour。
　　butthefactis，thatMr。Pickwicknosoonerputonhisspectacles，thanheatoncerecognisedinthefutureMrs。Magnustheladyintowhoseroomhehadsounwarrantablyintrudedonthepreviousnight。andthespectacleshadnosoonercrossedMr。Pickwick’snose，thantheladyatonceidentifiedthecountenancewhichshehadseensurroundedbyallthehorrorsofanight-cap。