CHAPTERXL
　　OFMATTERSRELATINGANDBELONGINGTOTHISADVENTUREANDTOTHIS
　　MEMORABLEHISTORY
　　VERILYandtrulyallthosewhofindpleasureinhistorieslikethisoughtshowtheirgratitudetoCideHamete，itsoriginalauthor，forthescrupulouscarehehastakentosetbeforeusallitsminuteparticulars，notleavinganything，howevertriflingitmaybe，thathedoesnotmakeclearandplain。Heportraysthethoughts，herevealsthefancies，heanswersimpliedquestions，clearsupdoubts，setsobjectionsatrest，and，inaword，makesplainthesmallestpointsthemostinquisitivecandesiretoknow。Orenownedauthor！OhappyDonQuixote！OfamousfamousdrollSancho！Allandeach，mayyelivecountlessagesforthedelightandamusementofthedwellersonearth！
　　ThehistorygoesontosaythatwhenSanchosawtheDistressedOnefaintheexclaimed：“IswearbythefaithofanhonestmanandtheshadesofallmyancestorsthePanzas，thatneverIdidseeorhearof，norhasmymasterrelatedorconceivedinhismind，suchanadventureasthis。Athousanddevils-nottocursethee-takethee，Malambruno，foranenchanterandagiant！Couldstthoufindnoothersortofpunishmentforthesesinnersbutbeardingthem？Woulditnothavebeenbetter-itwouldhavebeenbetterforthem-tohavetakenoffhalftheirnosesfromthemiddleupwards，eventhoughthey'dhavesnuffledwhentheyspoke，thantohaveputbeardsonthem？I'llbettheyhavenotthemeansofpayinganybodytoshavethem。“
　　“Thatisthetruth，senor，“saidoneofthetwelve；“wehavenotthemoneytogetourselvesshaved，andsowehave，someofus，takentousingsticking-plastersbywayofaneconomicalremedy，forbyapplyingthemtoourfacesandpluckingthemoffwithajerkweareleftasbareandsmoothasthebottomofastonemortar。Thereare，tobesure，womeninKandythatgoaboutfromhousetohousetoremovedown，andtrimeyebrows，andmakecosmeticsfortheuseofthewomen，butwe，theduennasofmylady，wouldneverletthemin，formostofthemhaveaflavourofagentsthathaveceasedtobeprincipals；andifwearenotrelievedbySenorDonQuixoteweshallbecarriedtoourgraveswithbeards。“
　　“IwillpluckoutmyowninthelandoftheMoors，“saidDonQuixote，“ifIdon'tcureyours。“
　　AtthisinstanttheTrifaldirecoveredfromherswoonandsaid，“Thechinkofthatpromise，valiantknight，reachedmyearsinthemidstofmyswoon，andhasbeenthemeansofrevivingmeandbringingbackmysenses；andsooncemoreIimploreyou，illustriouserrant，indomitablesir，toletyourgraciouspromisesbeturnedintodeeds。“
　　“Thereshallbenodelayonmypart，“saidDonQuixote。“Bethinkyou，senora，ofwhatImustdo，formyheartismosteagertoserveyou。“
　　“Thefactis，“repliedtheDistressedOne，“itisfivethousandleagues，acouplemoreorless，fromthistothekingdomofKandy，ifyougobyland；butifyougothroughtheairandinastraightline，itisthreethousandtwohundredandtwenty-seven。Youmustknow，too，thatMalambrunotoldmethat，wheneverfateprovidedtheknightourdeliverer，hehimselfwouldsendhimasteedfarbetterandwithlesstricksthanapost-horse；forhewillbethatsamewoodenhorseonwhichthevaliantPierrescarriedoffthefairMagalona；
　　whichsaidhorseisguidedbyapeghehasinhisforeheadthatservesforabridle，andfliesthroughtheairwithsuchrapiditythatyouwouldfancytheverydevilswerecarryinghim。Thishorse，accordingtoancienttradition，wasmadebyMerlin。HelenthimtoPierres，whowasafriendofhis，andwhomadelongjourneyswithhim，and，ashasbeensaid，carriedoffthefairMagalona，bearingherthroughtheaironitshaunchesandmakingallwhobeheldthemfromtheearthgapewithastonishment；andheneverlenthimsavetothosewhomhelovedorthosewhopaidhimwell；andsincethegreatPierresweknowofnoonehavingmountedhimuntilnow。FromhimMalambrunostolehimbyhismagicart，andhehashimnowinhispossession，andmakesuseofhiminhisjourneyswhichheconstantlymakesthroughdifferentpartsoftheworld；heishereto-day，to-morrowinFrance，andthenextdayinPotosi；andthebestofitisthesaidhorseneithereatsnorsleepsnorwearsoutshoes，andgoesatanamblingpacethroughtheairwithoutwings，sothathewhomhehasmounteduponhimcancarryacupfullofwaterinhishandwithoutspillingadrop，sosmoothlyandeasilydoeshego，forwhichreasonthefairMagalonaenjoyedridinghimgreatly。“
　　“Forgoingsmoothlyandeasily，“saidSanchoatthis，“givememyDapple，thoughhecan'tgothroughtheair；butonthegroundI'llbackhimagainstalltheamblersintheworld。“
　　Theyalllaughed，andtheDistressedOnecontinued：“Andthissamehorse，ifsobethatMalambrunoisdisposedtoputanendtooursufferings，willbeherebeforeuserethenightshallhaveadvancedhalfanhour；forheannouncedtomethatthesignhewouldgivemewherebyImightknowthatIhadfoundtheknightIwasinquestof，wouldbetosendmethehorsewhereverhemightbe，speedilyandpromptly。“
　　“Andhowmanyisthereroomforonthishorse？”askedSancho。
　　“Two，“saidtheDistressedOne，“oneinthesaddle，andtheotheronthecroup；andgenerallythesetwoareknightandsquire，whenthereisnodamselthat'sbeingcarriedoff。“
　　“I'dliketoknow，SenoraDistressedOne，“saidSancho，“whatisthenameofthishorse？”
　　“Hisname，“saidtheDistressedOne，“isnotthesameasBellerophon'shorsethatwascalledPegasus，orAlexandertheGreat's，calledBucephalus，orOrlandoFurioso's，thenameofwhichwasBrigliador，noryetBayard，thehorseofReinaldosofMontalvan，norFrontinolikeRuggiero's，norBootesorPeritoa，astheysaythehorsesofthesunwerecalled，norishecalledOrelia，likethehorseonwhichtheunfortunateRodrigo，thelastkingoftheGoths，rodetothebattlewherehelosthislifeandhiskingdom。“
　　“I'llbet，“saidSancho，“thatastheyhavegivenhimnoneofthesefamousnamesofwell-knownhorses，nomorehavetheygivenhimthenameofmymaster'sRocinante，whichforbeingaptsurpassesallthathavebeenmentioned。“
　　“Thatistrue，“saidthebeardedcountess，“stillitfitshimverywell，forheiscalledClavilenotheSwift，whichnameisinaccordancewithhisbeingmadeofwood，withthepeghehasinhisforehead，andwiththeswiftpaceatwhichhetravels；andso，asfarasnamegoes，hemaycomparewiththefamousRocinante。“
　　“Ihavenothingtosayagainsthisname，“saidSancho；“butwithwhatsortofbridleorhalterishemanaged？”
　　“Ihavesaidalready，“saidtheTrifaldi，“thatitiswithapeg，byturningwhichtoonesideortheothertheknightwhorideshimmakeshimgoashepleases，eitherthroughtheupperair，orskimmingandalmostsweepingtheearth，orelseinthatmiddlecoursethatissoughtandfollowedinallwell-regulatedproceedings。“
　　“I'dliketoseehim，“saidSancho；“buttofancyI'mgoingtomounthim，eitherinthesaddleoronthecroup，istoaskpearsoftheelmtree。Agoodjokeindeed！IcanhardlykeepmyseatuponDapple，andonapack-saddlesofterthansilkitself，andherethey'dhavemeholdonuponhaunchesofplankwithoutpadorcushionofanysort！Gad，Ihavenonotionofbruisingmyselftogetridofanyone'sbeard；leteachoneshavehimselfasbesthecan；I'mnotgoingtoaccompanymymasteronanysuchlongjourney；besides，I
　　can'tgiveanyhelptotheshavingofthesebeardsasIcantothedisenchantmentofmyladyDulcinea。“
　　“Yes，youcan，myfriend，“repliedtheTrifaldi；“andsomuch，thatwithoutyou，soIunderstand，weshallbeabletodonothing。“
　　“Intheking'sname！”exclaimedSancho，“whathavesquiresgottodowiththeadventuresoftheirmasters？Aretheytohavethefameofsuchastheygothrough，andwethelabour？Bodyo'me！ifthehistorianswouldonlysay，'Suchandsuchaknightfinishedsuchandsuchanadventure，butwiththehelpofsoandso，hissquire，withoutwhichitwouldhavebeenimpossibleforhimtoaccomplishit；'buttheywritecurtly，“DonParalipomenonoftheThreeStarsaccomplishedtheadventureofthesixmonsters；'withoutmentioningsuchapersonashissquire，whowasthereallthetime，justasiftherewasnosuchbeing。Oncemore，sirs，Isaymymastermaygoalone，andmuchgoodmayitdohim；andI'llstayhereinthecompanyofmyladytheduchess；andmaybewhenhecomesback，hewillfindtheladyDulcinea'saffaireversomuchadvanced；forImeaninleisurehours，andatidlemoments，togivemyselfaspellofwhippingwithoutsomuchasahairtocoverme。“
　　“Forallthatyoumustgoifitbenecessary，mygoodSancho，“
　　saidtheduchess，“fortheyareworthyfolkwhoaskyou；andthefacesoftheseladiesmustnotremainovergrowninthiswaybecauseofyouridlefears；thatwouldbeahardcaseindeed。“
　　“Intheking'sname，oncemore！”saidSancho；“Ifthischaritableworkweretobedoneforthesakeofdamselsinconfinementorcharity-girls，amanmightexposehimselftosomehardships；buttobearitforthesakeofstrippingbeardsoffduennas！Deviltakeit！
　　I'dsoonerseethemallbearded，fromthehighesttothelowest，andfromthemostprudishtothemostaffected。“
　　“Youareveryhardonduennas，Sanchomyfriend，“saidtheduchess；“youinclineverymuchtotheopinionoftheToledoapothecary。Butindeedyouarewrong；thereareduennasinmyhousethatmayserveaspatternsofduennas；andhereismyDonaRodriguez，whowillnotallowmetosayotherwise。“
　　“Yourexcellencemaysayitifyoulike，“saidtheRodriguez；“forGodknowsthetruthofeverything；andwhetherweduennasaregoodorbad，beardedorsmooth，weareourmothers'daughterslikeotherwomen；andasGodsentusintotheworld，heknowswhyhedid，andonhismercyIrely，andnotonanybody'sbeard。“
　　“Well，SenoraRodriguez，SenoraTrifaldi，andpresentcompany，“saidDonQuixote，“ItrustinHeaventhatitwilllookwithkindlyeyesuponyourtroubles，forSanchowilldoasIbidhim。OnlyletClavilenocomeandletmefindmyselffacetofacewithMalambruno，andIamcertainnorazorwillshaveyoumoreeasilythanmyswordshallshaveMalambruno'sheadoffhisshoulders；for'Godbearswiththewicked，butnotforever。“
　　“Ah！”exclaimedtheDistressedOneatthis，“mayallthestarsofthecelestialregionslookdownuponyourgreatnesswithbenigneyes，valiantknight，andshedeveryprosperityandvalouruponyourheart，thatitmaybetheshieldandsafeguardoftheabusedanddowntroddenraceofduennas，detestedbyapothecaries，sneeredatbysquires，andmadegameofbypages。Illbetidethejadethatintheflowerofheryouthwouldnotsoonerbecomeanunthanaduenna！
　　Unfortunatebeingsthatweare，weduennas！ThoughwemaybedescendedinthedirectmalelinefromHectorofTroyhimself，ourmistressesneverfailtoaddressusas'you'iftheythinkitmakesqueensofthem。OgiantMalambruno，thoughthouartanenchanter，thouarttruetothypromises。SendusnowthepeerlessClavileno，thatourmisfortunemaybebroughttoanend；forifthehotweathersetsinandthesebeardsofoursarestillthere，alasforourlot！”
　　TheTrifaldisaidthisinsuchapatheticwaythatshedrewtearsfromtheeyesofallandevenSancho'sfilledup；andheresolvedinhishearttoaccompanyhismastertotheuttermostendsoftheearth，ifsobetheremovalofthewoolfromthosevenerablecountenancesdependeduponit。
　　CHAPTERXLI
　　OFTHEARRIVALOFCLAVILENOANDTHEENDOFTHISPROTRACTEDADVENTURE
　　ANDnownightcame，andwithittheappointedtimeforthearrivalofthefamoushorseClavileno，thenon-appearanceofwhichwasalreadybeginningtomakeDonQuixoteuneasy，foritstruckhimthat，asMalambrunowassolongaboutsendingit，eitherhehimselfwasnottheknightforwhomtheadventurewasreserved，orelseMalambrunodidnotdaretomeethiminsinglecombat。Butlo！suddenlytherecameintothegardenfourwild-menallcladingreenivybearingontheirshouldersagreatwoodenhorse。Theyplaceditonitsfeetontheground，andoneofthewild-mensaid，“Lettheknightwhohasheartforitmountthismachine。“
　　HereSanchoexclaimed，“Idon'tmount，forneitherhaveItheheartnoramIaknight。“
　　“Andletthesquire，ifhehasone，“continuedthewild-man，“takehisseatonthecroup，andlethimtrustthevaliantMalambruno；forbynoswordsavehis，norbythemaliceofanyother，shallhebeassailed。Itisbuttoturnthispegthehorsehasinhisneck，andhewillbearthemthroughtheairtowhereMalambrunoawaitsthem；butlestthevastelevationoftheircourseshouldmakethemgiddy，theireyesmustbecovereduntilthehorseneighs，whichwillbethesignoftheirhavingcompletedtheirjourney。“
　　Withthesewords，leavingClavilenobehindthem，theyretiredwitheasydignitythewaytheycame。AssoonastheDistressedOnesawthehorse，almostintearssheexclaimedtoDonQuixote，“Valiantknight，thepromiseofMalambrunohasprovedtrustworthy；thehorsehascome，ourbeardsaregrowing，andbyeveryhairinthemallofusimploretheetoshaveandshearus，asitisonlymountinghimwiththysquireandmakingahappybeginningwithyournewjourney。“
　　“ThatIwill，SenoraCountessTrifaldi，“saidDonQuixote，“mostgladlyandwithrightgoodwill，withoutstoppingtotakeacushionorputonmyspurs，soasnottolosetime，suchismydesiretoseeyouandalltheseduennasshavedclean。“
　　“ThatIwon't，“saidSancho，“withgood-willorbad-will，oranywayatall；andifthisshavingcan'tbedonewithoutmymountingonthecroup，mymasterhadbetterlookoutforanothersquiretogowithhim，andtheseladiesforsomeotherwayofmakingtheirfacessmooth；
　　I'mnowitchtohaveatastefortravellingthroughtheair。Whatwouldmyislanderssaywhentheyheardtheirgovernorwasgoing，strollingaboutonthewinds？Andanotherthing，asitisthreethousandandoddleaguesfromthistoKandy，ifthehorsetires，orthegianttakeshuff，we'llhehalfadozenyearsgettingback，andtherewon'tbeisleorislandintheworldthatwillknowme：andso，asitisacommonsaying'indelaythere'sdanger，'and'whentheyoffertheeaheiferrunwithahalter，'theseladies'beardsmustexcuseme；'SaintPeterisverywellinRome；'ImeanIamverywellinthishousewheresomuchismadeofme，andIhopeforsuchagoodthingfromthemasterastoseemyselfagovernor。“
　　“FriendSancho，“saidthedukeatthis，“theislandthatIhavepromisedyouisnotamovingone，oronethatwillrunaway；ithasrootssodeeplyburiedinthebowelsoftheearththatitwillbenoeasymattertopluckituporshiftitfromwhereitis；youknowaswellasIdothatthereisnosortofofficeofanyimportancethatisnotobtainedbyabribeofsomekind，greatorsmall；wellthen，thatwhichIlooktoreceiveforthisgovernmentisthatyougowithyourmasterDonQuixote，andbringthismemorableadventuretoaconclusion；andwhetheryoureturnonClavilenoasquicklyashisspeedseemstopromise，oradversefortunebringsyoubackonfoottravellingasapilgrimfromhosteltohostelandfrominntoinn，youwillalwaysfindyourislandonyourreturnwhereyouleftit，andyourislanderswiththesameeagernesstheyhavealwayshadtoreceiveyouastheirgovernor，andmygood-willwillremainthesame；doubtnotthetruthofthis，SenorSancho，forthatwouldbegrievouslywrongingmydispositiontoserveyou。“
　　“Saynomore，senor，“saidSancho；“Iamapoorsquireandnotequaltocarryingsomuchcourtesy；letmymastermount；bandagemyeyesandcommitmetoGod'scare，andtellmeifImaycommendmyselftoourLordorcallupontheangelstoprotectmewhenwegotoweringupthere。“
　　TothistheTrifaldimadeanswer，“Sancho，youmayfreelycommendyourselftoGodorwhomyouwill；forMalambrunothoughanenchanterisaChristian，andworkshisenchantmentswithgreatcircumspection，takingverygoodcarenottofalloutwithanyone。“
　　“Wellthen，“saidSancho，“GodandthemostholyTrinityofGaetagivemehelp！”
　　“Sincethememorableadventureofthefullingmills，“saidDonQuixote，“IhaveneverseenSanchoinsuchafrightasnow；wereI
　　assuperstitiousasothershisabjectfearwouldcausemesomelittletrepidationofspirit。Butcomehere，Sancho，forwiththeleaveofthesegentlesIwouldsayawordortwototheeinprivate；“anddrawingSanchoasideamongthetreesofthegardenandseizingbothhishandshesaid，“Thouseest，brotherSancho，thelongjourneywehavebeforeus，andGodknowswhenweshallreturn，orwhatleisureoropportunitiesthisbusinesswillallowus；Iwishtheethereforetoretirenowtothychamber，asthoughthouwertgoingtofetchsomethingrequiredfortheroad，andinatricegivethyselfifitbeonlyfivehundredlashesonaccountofthethreethousandthreehundredtowhichthouartbound；itwillbealltothegood，andtomakeabeginningwithathingistohaveithalffinished。“
　　“ByGod，“saidSancho，“butyourworshipmustbeoutofyoursenses！
　　Thisislikethecommonsaying，'Youseemewithchild，andyouwantmeavirgin。'JustasI'mabouttogosittingonabareboard，yourworshipwouldhavemescoremybackside！Indeed，yourworshipisnotreasonable。Letusbeofftoshavetheseduennas；andonourreturnIpromiseonmywordtomakesuchhastetowipeoffallthat'sdueaswillsatisfyyourworship；Ican'tsaymore。“
　　“Well，Iwillcomfortmyselfwiththatpromise，mygoodSancho，“
　　repliedDonQuixote，“andIbelievethouwiltkeepit；forindeedthoughstupidthouartveracious。“
　　“I'mnotvoracious，“saidSancho，“onlypeckish；butevenifIwasalittle，stillI'dkeepmyword。“
　　WiththistheywentbacktomountClavileno，andastheywereabouttodosoDonQuixotesaid，“Coverthineeyes，Sancho，andmount；
　　foronewhosendsforusfromlandssofardistantcannotmeantodeceiveusforthesakeofthepaltryglorytobederivedfromdeceivingpersonswhotrustinhim；thoughallshouldturnoutthecontraryofwhatIhope，nomalicewillbeabletodimthegloryofhavingundertakenthisexploit。“
　　“Letusbeoff，senor，“saidSancho，“forIhavetakenthebeardsandtearsoftheseladiesdeeplytoheart，andIshan'teatabittorelishituntilIhaveseenthemrestoredtotheirformersmoothness。Mount，yourworship，andblindfoldyourself，forifIamtogoonthecroup，itisplaintheriderinthesaddlemustmountfirst。“
　　“Thatistrue，“saidDonQuixote，and，takingahandkerchiefoutofhispocket，hebeggedtheDistressedOnetobandagehiseyesverycarefully；butafterhavingthembandagedheuncoveredthemagain，saying，“Ifmymemorydoesnotdeceiveme，IhavereadinVirgilofthePalladiumofTroy，awoodenhorsetheGreeksofferedtothegoddessPallas，whichwasbigwitharmedknights，whowereafterwardsthedestructionofTroy；soitwouldheaswelltosee，firstofall，whatClavilenohasinhisstomach。“
　　“Thereisnooccasion，“saidtheDistressedOne；“Iwillbebailforhim，andIknowthatMalambrunohasnothingtrickyortreacherousabouthim；youmaymountwithoutanyfear，SenorDonQuixote；onmyheadbeitifanyharmbefallsyou。“
　　DonQuixotethoughtthattosayanythingfurtherwithregardtohissafetywouldbeputtinghiscourageinanunfavourablelight；
　　andso，withoutmorewords，hemountedClavileno，andtriedthepeg，whichturnedeasily；andashehadnostirrupsandhislegshungdown，helookedlikenothingsomuchasafigureinsomeRomantriumphpaintedorembroideredonaFlemishtapestry。
　　Muchagainstthegrain，andveryslowly，Sanchoproceededtomount，and，aftersettlinghimselfaswellashecouldonthecroup，founditratherhard，andnotatallsoft，andaskedthedukeifitwouldbepossibletoobligehimwithapadofsomekind，oracushion；
　　evenifitwereoffthecouchofhisladytheduchess，orthebedofoneofthepages；asthehaunchesofthathorseweremorelikemarblethanwood。OnthistheTrifaldiobservedthatClavilenowouldnotbearanykindofharnessortrappings，andthathisbestplanwouldbetositsidewayslikeawoman，asinthatwayhewouldnotfeelthehardnesssomuch。
　　Sanchodidso，and，biddingthemfarewell，allowedhiseyestohebandaged，butimmediatelyafterwardsuncoveredthemagain，andlookingtenderlyandtearfullyonthoseinthegarden，badethemhelphiminhispresentstraitwithplentyofPaternostersandAveMarias，thatGodmightprovidesomeonetosayasmanyforthem，whenevertheyfoundthemselvesinasimilaremergency。
　　AtthisDonQuixoteexclaimed，“Artthouonthegallows，thief，oratthylastmoment，tousepitifulentreatiesofthatsort？
　　Cowardly，spiritlesscreature，artthounotintheveryplacethefairMagalonaoccupied，andfromwhichshedescended，notintothegrave，buttobecomeQueenofFrance；unlessthehistorieslie？AndIwhoamherebesidethee，mayInotputmyselfonaparwiththevaliantPierres，whopressedthisveryspotthatInowpress？Coverthineeyes，coverthineeyes，abjectanimal，andletnotthyfearescapethylips，atleastinmypresence。“
　　“Blindfoldme，“saidSancho；“asyouwon'tletmecommendmyselforbecommendedtoGod，isitanywonderifIamafraidthereisaregionofdevilsaboutherethatwillcarryusofftoPeralvillo？”
　　Theywerethenblindfolded，andDonQuixote，findinghimselfsettledtohissatisfaction，feltforthepeg，andtheinstantheplacedhisfingersonit，alltheduennasandallwhostoodbylifteduptheirvoicesexclaiming，“Godguidethee，valiantknight！Godbewiththee，intrepidsquire！Now，nowyegocleavingtheairmoreswiftlythananarrow！Nowyebegintoamazeandastonishallwhoaregazingatyoufromtheearth！Takecarenottowobbleabout，valiantSancho！Mindthoufallnot，forthyfallwillbeworsethanthatrashyouth'swhotriedtosteerthechariotofhisfathertheSun！”
　　AsSanchoheardthevoices，clingingtightlytohismasterandwindinghisarmsroundhim，hesaid，“Senor，howdotheymakeoutwearegoingupsohigh，iftheirvoicesreachushereandtheyseemtobespeakingquiteclosetous？”
　　“Don'tmindthat，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote；“forasaffairsofthissort，andflightslikethisareoutofthecommoncourseofthings，youcanseeandhearasmuchasyoulikeathousandleaguesoff；butdon'tsqueezemesotightorthouwiltupsetme；andreallyIknownotwhatthouhasttobeuneasyorfrightenedat，forIcansafelyswearI
　　nevermountedasmoother-goingsteedallthedaysofmylife；onewouldfancyweneverstirredfromoneplace。Banishfear，myfriend，forindeedeverythingisgoingasitought，andwehavethewindastern。“
　　“That'strue，“saidSancho，“forsuchastrongwindcomesagainstmeonthisside，thatitseemsasifpeoplewereblowingonmewithathousandpairofbellows；“whichwasthecase；theywerepuffingathimwithagreatpairofbellows；forthewholeadventurewassowellplannedbytheduke，theduchess，andtheirmajordomo，thatnothingwasomittedtomakeitperfectlysuccessful。
　　DonQuixotenow，feelingtheblast，said，“Beyondadoubt，Sancho，wemusthavealreadyreachedthesecondregionoftheair，wherethehailandsnowaregenerated；thethunder，thelightning，andthethunderboltsareengenderedinthethirdregion，andifwegoonascendingatthisrate，weshallshortlyplungeintotheregionoffire，andIknownothowtoregulatethispeg，soasnottomountupwhereweshallbeburned。“
　　Andnowtheybegantowarmtheirfaces，fromadistance，withtowthatcouldbeeasilysetonfireandextinguishedagain，fixedontheendofacane。OnfeelingtheheatSanchosaid，“MayIdieifwearenotalreadyinthatfireplace，orverynearit，foragoodpartofmybeardhasbeensinged，andIhaveamind，senor，touncoverandseewhereaboutsweare。“
　　“Donothingofthekind，“saidDonQuixote；“rememberthetruestoryofthelicentiateTorralvathatthedevilscarriedflyingthroughtheairridingonastickwithhiseyesshut；whointwelvehoursreachedRomeanddismountedatTorrediNona，whichisastreetofthecity，andsawthewholesackandstormingandthedeathofBourbon，andwasbackinMadridthenextmorning，wherehegaveanaccountofallhehadseen；andhesaidmoreoverthatashewasgoingthroughtheair，thedevilbadehimopenhiseyes，andhedidso，andsawhimselfsonearthebodyofthemoon，soitseemedtohim，thathecouldhavelaidholdofitwithhishand，andthathedidnotdaretolookattheearthlestheshouldbeseizedwithgiddiness。Sothat，Sancho，itwillnotdoforustouncoverourselves，forhewhohasusinchargewillberesponsibleforus；andperhapswearegaininganaltitudeandmountinguptoenableustodescendatoneswooponthekingdomofKandy，asthesakerorfalcondoesontheheron，soastoseizeithoweverhighitmaysoar；andthoughitseemstousnothalfanhoursinceweleftthegarden，believemewemusthavetravelledagreatdistance。“
　　“Idon'tknowhowthatmaybe，“saidSancho；“allIknowisthatiftheSenoraMagallanesorMagalonawassatisfiedwiththiscroup，shecouldnothavebeenverytenderofflesh。“
　　Theduke，theduchess，andallinthegardenwerelisteningtotheconversationofthetwoheroes，andwerebeyondmeasureamusedbyit；andnow，desirousofputtingafinishingtouchtothisrareandwell-contrivedadventure，theyappliedalighttoClavileno'stailwithsometow，andthehorse，beingfullofsquibsandcrackers，immediatelyblewupwithaprodigiousnoise，andbroughtDonQuixoteandSanchoPanzatothegroundhalfsinged。Bythistimethebeardedbandofduennas，theTrifaldiandall，hadvanishedfromthegarden，andthosethatremainedlaystretchedonthegroundasifinaswoon。DonQuixoteandSanchogotuprathershaken，and，lookingaboutthem，werefilledwithamazementatfindingthemselvesinthesamegardenfromwhichtheyhadstarted，andseeingsuchanumberofpeoplestretchedontheground；andtheirastonishmentwasincreasedwhenatonesideofthegardentheyperceivedatalllanceplantedintheground，andhangingfromitbytwocordsofgreensilkasmoothwhiteparchmentonwhichtherewasthefollowinginscriptioninlargegoldletters：“TheillustriousknightDonQuixoteofLaManchahas，bymerelyattemptingit，finishedandconcludedtheadventureoftheCountessTrifaldi，otherwisecalledtheDistressedDuenna；
　　Malambrunoisnowsatisfiedoneverypoint，thechinsoftheduennasarenowsmoothandclean，andKingDonClavijoandQueenAntonomasiaintheiroriginalform；andwhenthesquirelyflagellationshallhavebeencompleted，thewhitedoveshallfindherselfdeliveredfromthepestiferousgerfalconsthatpersecuteher，andinthearmsofherbelovedmate；forsuchisthedecreeofthesageMerlin，arch-enchanterofenchanters。“
　　AssoonasDonQuixotehadreadtheinscriptionontheparchmentheperceivedclearlythatitreferredtothedisenchantmentofDulcinea，andreturningheartythankstoheaventhathehadwithsolittledangerachievedsograndanexploitastorestoretotheirformercomplexionthecountenancesofthosevenerableduennas，headvancedtowardsthedukeandduchess，whohadnotyetcometothemselves，andtakingthedukebythehandhesaid，“Beofgoodcheer，worthysir，beofgoodcheer；it'snothingatall；theadventureisnowoverandwithoutanyharmdone，astheinscriptionfixedonthispostshowsplainly。“
　　Thedukecametohimselfslowlyandlikeonerecoveringconsciousnessafteraheavysleep，andtheduchessandallwhohadfallenprostrateaboutthegardendidthesame，withsuchdemonstrationsofwonderandamazementthattheywouldhavealmostpersuadedonethatwhattheypretendedsoadroitlyinjesthadhappenedtotheminreality。Thedukereadtheplacardwithhalf-shuteyes，andthenrantoembraceDonQuixotewith-openarms，declaringhimtobethebestknightthathadeverbeenseeninanyage。SanchokeptlookingaboutfortheDistressedOne，toseewhatherfacewaslikewithoutthebeard，andifshewasasfairasherelegantpersonpromised；buttheytoldhimthat，theinstantClavilenodescendedflamingthroughtheairandcametotheground，thewholebandofduennaswiththeTrifaldivanished，andthattheywerealreadyshavedandwithoutastumpleft。
　　TheduchessaskedSanchohowhehadfaredonthatlongjourney，towhichSanchoreplied，“Ifelt，senora，thatwewereflyingthroughtheregionoffire，asmymastertoldme，andIwantedtouncovermyeyesforabit；butmymaster，whenIaskedleavetouncovermyself，wouldnotletme；butasIhavealittlebitofcuriosityaboutme，andadesiretoknowwhatisforbiddenandkeptfromme，quietlyandwithoutanyoneseeingmeIdrewasidethehandkerchiefcoveringmyeyeseversolittle，closetomynose，andfromunderneathlookedtowardstheearth，anditseemedtomethatitwasaltogethernobiggerthanagrainofmustardseed，andthatthemenwalkingonitwerelittlebiggerthanhazelnuts；soyoumayseehowhighwemusthavegottothen。“
　　Tothistheduchesssaid，“Sancho，myfriend，mindwhatyouaresaying；itseemsyoucouldnothaveseentheearth，butonlythemenwalkingonit；foriftheearthlookedtoyoulikeagrainofmustardseed，andeachmanlikeahazelnut，onemanalonewouldhavecoveredthewholeearth。“
　　“Thatistrue，“saidSancho，“butforallthatIgotaglimpseofabitofonesideofit，andsawitall。“
　　“Takecare，Sancho，“saidtheduchess，“withabitofonesideonedoesnotseethewholeofwhatonelooksat。“
　　“Idon'tunderstandthatwayoflookingatthings，“saidSancho；
　　“IonlyknowthatyourladyshipwilldowelltobearinmindthataswewereflyingbyenchantmentsoImighthaveseenthewholeearthandallthemenbyenchantmentwhateverwayIlooked；andifyouwon'tbelievethis，nomorewillyoubelievethat，uncoveringmyselfnearlytotheeyebrows，Isawmyselfsoclosetotheskythattherewasnotapalmandahalfbetweenmeandit；andbyeverythingthatIcanswearby，senora，itismightygreat！Anditsohappenedwecamebywherethesevengoatsare，andbyGodanduponmysoul，asinmyyouthIwasagoatherdinmyowncountry，assoonasIsawthemIfeltalongingtobeamongthemforalittle，andifIhadnotgivenwaytoitIthinkI'dhaveburst。SoIcomeandtake，andwhatdoIdo？
　　withoutsayinganythingtoanybody，noteventomymaster，softlyandquietlyIgotdownfromClavilenoandamusedmyselfwiththegoats-whicharelikeviolets，likeflowers-fornighthree-quartersofanhour；andClavilenoneverstirredormovedfromonespot。“
　　“AndwhilethegoodSanchowasamusinghimselfwiththegoats，“saidtheduke，“howdidSenorDonQuixoteamusehimself？”
　　TowhichDonQuixotereplied，“Asallthesethingsandsuchlikeoccurrencesareoutoftheordinarycourseofnature，itisnowonderthatSanchosayswhathedoes；formyownpartIcanonlysaythatIdidnotuncovermyeyeseitheraboveorbelow，nordidIseeskyorearthorseaorshore。ItistrueIfeltthatIwaspassingthroughtheregionoftheair，andeventhatItouchedthatoffire；
　　butthatwepassedfartherIcannotbelieve；fortheregionoffirebeingbetweentheheavenofthemoonandthelastregionoftheair，wecouldnothavereachedthatheavenwherethesevengoatsSanchospeaksofarewithoutbeingburned；andaswewerenotburned，eitherSanchoislyingorSanchoisdreaming。“
　　“Iamneitherlyingnordreaming，“saidSancho；“onlyaskmethetokensofthosesamegoats，andyou'llseebythatwhetherI'mtellingthetruthornot。“
　　“Tellusthemthen，Sancho，“saidtheduchess。
　　“Twoofthem，“saidSancho，“aregreen，twoblood-red，twoblue，andoneamixtureofallcolours。“
　　“Anoddsortofgoat，that，“saidtheduke；“inthisearthlyregionofourswehavenosuchcolours；Imeangoatsofsuchcolours。“
　　“That'sveryplain，“saidSancho；“ofcoursetheremustbeadifferencebetweenthegoatsofheavenandthegoatsoftheearth。“
　　“Tellme，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“didyouseeanyhe-goatamongthosegoats？”
　　“No，senor，“saidSancho；“butIhaveheardsaythatnoneeverpassedthehornsofthemoon。“
　　Theydidnotcaretoaskhimanythingmoreabouthisjourney，fortheysawhewasintheveintogoramblingallovertheheavensgivinganaccountofeverythingthatwentonthere，withouthavingeverstirredfromthegarden。Such，inshort，wastheendoftheadventureoftheDistressedDuenna，whichgavethedukeandduchesslaughingmatternotonlyforthetimebeing，butforalltheirlives，andSanchosomethingtotalkaboutforages，ifhelivedsolong；butDonQuixote，comingclosetohisear，saidtohim，“Sancho，asyouwouldhaveusbelievewhatyousawinheaven，I
　　requireyoutobelievemeastowhatIsawinthecaveofMontesinos；Isaynomore。“
　　CHAPTERXLII
　　OFTHECOUNSELSWHICHDONQUIXOTEGAVESANCHOPANZABEFOREHESET
　　OUTTOGOVERNTHEISLAND，TOGETHERWITHOTHERWELL-CONSIDEREDMATTERS
　　THEdukeandduchessweresowellpleasedwiththesuccessfulanddrollresultoftheadventureoftheDistressedOne，thattheyresolvedtocarryonthejoke，seeingwhatafitsubjecttheyhadtodealwithformakingitallpassforreality。SohavinglaidtheirplansandgiveninstructionstotheirservantsandvassalshowtobehavetoSanchoinhisgovernmentofthepromisedisland，thenextday，thatfollowingClavileno'sflight，theduketoldSanchotoprepareandgetreadytogoandbegovernor，forhisislanderswerealreadylookingoutforhimasfortheshowersofMay。
　　Sanchomadehimanobeisance，andsaid，“EversinceIcamedownfromheaven，andfromthetopofitbeheldtheearth，andsawhowlittleitis，thegreatdesireIhadtobeagovernorhasbeenpartlycooledinme；forwhatistheregrandinbeingruleronagrainofmustardseed，orwhatdignityorauthorityingoverninghalfadozenmenaboutasbigashazelnuts；for，sofarasIcouldsee，therewerenomoreonthewholeearth？Ifyourlordshipwouldbesogoodastogivemeeversosmallabitofheaven，wereitnomorethanhalfaleague，I'dratherhaveitthanthebestislandintheworld。“
　　“Recollect，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“Icannotgiveabitofheaven，nonotsomuchasthebreadthofmynail，toanyone；rewardsandfavoursofthatsortarereservedforGodalone。WhatIcangiveI
　　giveyou，andthatisareal，genuineisland，compact，wellproportioned，anduncommonlyfertileandfruitful，where，ifyouknowhowtouseyouropportunities，youmay，withthehelpoftheworld'sriches，gainthoseofheaven。“
　　“Wellthen，“saidSancho，“lettheislandcome；andI'lltryandbesuchagovernor，thatinspiteofscoundrelsI'llgotoheaven；andit'snotfromanycravingtoquitmyownhumbleconditionorbettermyself，butfromthedesireIhavetotrywhatittastesliketobeagovernor。“
　　“Ifyouoncemaketrialofit，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“you'lleatyourfingersoffafterthegovernment，sosweetathingisittocommandandbeobeyed。Dependuponitwhenyourmastercomestobeemperorashewillbeyondadoubtfromthecoursehisaffairsaretaking，itwillbenoeasymattertowrestthedignityfromhim，andhewillbesoreandsorryathearttohavebeensolongwithoutbecomingone。“
　　“Senor，“saidSancho，“itismybeliefit'sagoodthingtobeincommand，ifit'sonlyoveradroveofcattle。“
　　“MayIbeburiedwithyou，Sancho，“saidtheduke，“butyouknoweverything；Ihopeyouwillmakeasgoodagovernorasyoursagacitypromises；andthatisallIhavetosay；andnowrememberto-morrowisthedayyoumustsetoutforthegovernmentoftheisland，andthiseveningtheywillprovideyouwiththeproperattireforyoutowear，andallthingsrequisiteforyourdeparture。“
　　“Letthemdressmeastheylike，“saidSancho；“howeverI'mdressedI'llbeSanchoPanza。“
　　“That'strue，“saidtheduke；“butone'sdressmustbesuitedtotheofficeorrankoneholds；foritwouldnotdoforajuristtodresslikeasoldier，orasoldierlikeapriest。You，Sancho，shallgopartlyasalawyer，partlyasacaptain，for，intheislandIamgivingyou，armsareneededasmuchasletters，andlettersasmuchasarms。“
　　“OflettersIknowbutlittle，“saidSancho，“forIdon'tevenknowtheABC；butitisenoughformetohavetheChristusinmymemorytobeagoodgovernor。Asforarms，I'llhandlethosetheygivemetillIdrop，andthen，Godbemyhelp！”
　　“Withsogoodamemory，“saidtheduke，“Sanchocannotgowronginanything。“
　　HereDonQuixotejoinedthem；andlearningwhatpassed，andhowsoonSanchowastogotohisgovernment，hewiththeduke'spermissiontookhimbythehand，andretiredtohisroomwithhimforthepurposeofgivinghimadviceastohowhewastodemeanhimselfinhisoffice。Assoonastheyhadenteredthechamberheclosedthedoorafterhim，andalmostbyforcemadeSanchositdownbesidehim，andinaquiettonethusaddressedhim：“Igiveinfinitethankstoheaven，friendSancho，that，beforeIhavemetwithanygoodluck，fortunehascomeforwardtomeetthee。Iwhocounteduponmygoodfortunetodischargetherecompenseofthyservices，findmyselfstillwaitingforadvancement，whilethou，beforethetime，andcontrarytoallreasonableexpectation，seestthyselfblessedinthefulfillmentofthydesires。Somewillbribe，beg，solicit，riseearly，entreat，persist，withoutattainingtheobjectoftheirsuit；whileanothercomes，andwithoutknowingwhyorwherefore，findshimselfinvestedwiththeplaceorofficesomanyhavesuedfor；andhereitisthatthecommonsaying，'Thereisgoodluckaswellasbadluckinsuits，'applies。Thou，who，tomythinking，artbeyondalldoubtadullard，withoutearlyrisingornightwatchingortakinganytrouble，withthemerebreathofknight-errantrythathasbreatheduponthee，seestthyselfwithoutmoreadogovernorofanisland，asthoughitwereamerematterofcourse。ThisIsay，Sancho，thatthouattributenotthefavourthouhastreceivedtothineownmerits，butgivethankstoheaventhatdisposesmattersbeneficently，andsecondlythankstothegreatpowertheprofessionofknight-errantrycontainsinitself。Withaheart，then，inclinedtobelievewhatIhavesaidtothee，attend，myson，tothyCatoherewhowouldcounseltheeandbethypolestarandguidetodirectandpilottheetoasafehavenoutofthisstormyseawhereinthouartabouttoingulfthyself；forofficesandgreattrustsarenothingelsebutamightygulfoftroubles。
　　“Firstofall，myson，thoumustfearGod，forinthefearofhimiswisdom，andbeingwisethoucanstnoterrinaught。
　　“Secondly，thoumustkeepinviewwhatthouart，strivingtoknowthyself，themostdifficultthingtoknowthatthemindcanimagine。
　　Ifthouknowestthyself，itwillfollowthouwiltnotpuffthyselfuplikethefrogthatstrovetomakehimselfaslargeastheox；ifthoudost，therecollectionofhavingkeptpigsinthineowncountrywillserveastheuglyfeetforthewheelofthyfolly。“
　　“That'sthetruth，“saidSancho；“butthatwaswhenIwasaboy；
　　afterwardswhenIwassomethingmoreofamanitwasgeeseIkept，notpigs。Buttomythinkingthathasnothingtodowithit；forallwhoaregovernorsdon'tcomeofakinglystock。“
　　“True，“saidDonQuixote，“andforthatreasonthosewhoarenotofnobleoriginshouldtakecarethatthedignityoftheofficetheyholdheaccompaniedbyagentlesuavity，whichwiselymanagedwillsavethemfromthesneersofmalicethatnostationescapes。
　　“Gloryinthyhumblebirth，Sancho，andhenotashamedofsayingthouartpeasant-born；forwhenitisseenthouartnotashamednoonewillsethimselftoputtheetotheblush；andpridethyselfratheruponbeingoneoflowlyvirtuethanaloftysinner。Countlessaretheywho，bornofmeanparentage，haverisentothehighestdignities，pontificalandimperial，andofthetruthofthisIcouldgivetheeinstancesenoughtowearythee。
　　“Remember，Sancho，ifthoumakevirtuethyaim，andtakeaprideindoingvirtuousactions，thouwilthavenocausetoenvythosewhohaveprincelyandlordlyones，forbloodisaninheritance，butvirtueanacquisition，andvirtuehasinitselfaloneaworththatblooddoesnotpossess。
　　“Thisbeingso，ifperchanceanyoneofthykinsfolkshouldcometoseetheewhenthouartinthineisland，thouartnottorepelorslighthim，butonthecontrarytowelcomehim，entertainhim，andmakemuchofhim；forinsodoingthouwiltbeapprovedofheavenwhichisnotpleasedthatanyshoulddespisewhatithathmade，andwiltcomplywiththelawsofwell-orderednature。
　　“Ifthoucarriestthywifewiththeeanditisnotwellforthosethatadministergovernmentstobelongwithouttheirwives，teachandinstructher，andstrivetosmoothdownhernaturalroughness；forallthatmaybegainedbyawisegovernormaybelostandwastedbyaboorishstupidwife。
　　“Ifperchancethouartleftawidower-athingwhichmayhappen-andinvirtueofthyofficeseekestaconsortofhigherdegree，choosenotonetoservetheeforahook，orforafishing-rod，orforthehoodofthy'won'thaveit；'forverily，Itellthee，forallthejudge'swifereceives，thehusbandwillbeheldaccountableatthegeneralcallingtoaccount；wherehewillhaverepayindeathfourfold，itemsthatinlifeheregardedasnaught。
　　“Nevergobyarbitrarylaw，whichissomuchfavouredbyignorantmenwhoplumethemselvesoncleverness。
　　“Letthetearsofthepoormanfindwiththeemorecompassion，butnotmorejustice，thanthepleadingsoftherich。
　　“Strivetolaybarethetruth，aswellamidthepromisesandpresentsoftherichman，asamidthesobsandentreatiesofthepoor。
　　“Whenequitymayandshouldbebroughtintoplay，pressnottheutmostrigourofthelawagainsttheguilty；forthereputationofthesternjudgestandsnothigherthanthatofthecompassionate。
　　“Ifperchancethoupermittestthestaffofjusticetoswerve，letitbenotbytheweightofagift，butbythatofmercy。
　　“Ifitshouldhappentheetogivejudgmentinthecauseofonewhoisthineenemy，turnthythoughtsawayfromthyinjuryandfixthemonthejusticeofthecase。
　　“Letnotthineownpassionblindtheeinanotherman'scause；fortheerrorsthouwiltthuscommitwillbemostfrequentlyirremediable；
　　orifnot，onlytoberemediedattheexpenseofthygoodnameandevenofthyfortune。
　　“Ifanyhandsomewomancometoseekjusticeofthee，turnawaythineeyesfromhertearsandthineearsfromherlamentations，andconsiderdeliberatelythemeritsofherdemand，ifthouwouldstnothavethyreasonsweptawaybyherweeping，andthyrectitudebyhersighs。
　　“Abusenotbywordhimwhomthouhasttopunishindeed，forthepainofpunishmentisenoughfortheunfortunatewithouttheadditionofthineobjurgations。
　　“Bearinmindthattheculpritwhocomesunderthyjurisdictionisbutamiserablemansubjecttoallthepropensitiesofourdepravednature，andsofarasmaybeinthypowershowthyselflenientandforbearing；forthoughtheattributesofGodareallequal，tooureyesthatofmercyisbrighterandloftierthanthatofjustice。
　　“Ifthoufollowestthesepreceptsandrules，Sancho，thydayswillbelong，thyfameeternal，thyrewardabundant，thyfelicityunutterable；thouwiltmarrythychildrenasthouwouldst；theyandthygrandchildrenwillbeartitles；thouwiltliveinpeaceandconcordwithallmen；and，whenlifedrawstoaclose，deathwillcometotheeincalmandripeoldage，andthelightandlovinghandsofthygreat-grandchildrenwillclosethineeyes。
　　“WhatIhavethusfaraddressedtotheeareinstructionsfortheadornmentofthymind；listennowtothosewhichtendtothatofthebody。“
　　CHAPTERXLIII
　　OFTHESECONDSETOFCOUNSELSDONQUIXOTEGAVESANCHOPANZA
　　WHO，hearingtheforegoingdiscourseofDonQuixote，wouldnothavesethimdownforapersonofgreatgoodsenseandgreaterrectitudeofpurpose？But，ashasbeenfrequentlyobservedinthecourseofthisgreathistory，heonlytalkednonsensewhenhetouchedonchivalry，andindiscussingallothersubjectsshowedthathehadaclearandunbiassedunderstanding；sothatateveryturnhisactsgavethelietohisintellect，andhisintellecttohisacts；
　　butinthecaseofthesesecondcounselsthathegaveSanchoheshowedhimselftohavealivelyturnofhumour，anddisplayedconspicuouslyhiswisdom，andalsohisfolly。
　　Sancholistenedtohimwiththedeepestattention，andendeavouredtofixhiscounselsinhismemory，likeonewhomeanttofollowthemandbytheirmeansbringthefullpromiseofhisgovernmenttoahappyissue。DonQuixote，then，wentontosay：
　　“Withregardtothemodeinwhichthoushouldstgovernthypersonandthyhouse，Sancho，thefirstchargeIhavetogivetheeistobeclean，andtocutthynails，notlettingthemgrowassomedo，whoseignorancemakesthemfancythatlongnailsareanornamenttotheirhands，asifthoseexcrescencestheyneglecttocutwerenails，andnotthetalonsofalizard-catchingkestrel-afilthyandunnaturalabuse。
　　“Gonotungirtandloose，Sancho；fordisorderedattireisasignofanunstablemind，unlessindeedtheslovenlinessandslacknessistohesetdowntocraft，aswasthecommonopinioninthecaseofJuliusCaesar。
　　“Ascertaincautiouslywhatthyofficemaybeworth；andifitwillallowtheetogiveliveriestothyservants，givethemrespectableandserviceable，ratherthanshowyandgayones，anddividethembetweenthyservantsandthepoor；thatistosay，ifthoucanstclothesixpages，clothethreeandthreepoormen，andthusthouwilthavepagesforheavenandpagesforearth；thevaingloriousneverthinkofthisnewmodeofgivingliveries。
　　“Eatnotgarlicnoronions，lesttheyfindoutthyboorishoriginbythesmell；walkslowlyandspeakdeliberately，butnotinsuchawayastomakeitseemthouartlisteningtothyself，forallaffectationisbad。
　　“Dinesparinglyandsupmoresparinglystill；forthehealthofthewholebodyisforgedintheworkshopofthestomach。
　　“Betemperateindrinking，bearinginmindthatwineinexcesskeepsneithersecretsnorpromises。
　　“Takecare，Sancho，nottochewonbothsides，andnottoeructinanybody'spresence。“
　　“Eruct！”saidSancho；“Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans。“
　　“Toeruct，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“meanstobelch，andthatisoneofthefilthiestwordsintheSpanishlanguage，thoughaveryexpressiveone；andthereforenicefolkhavehadrecoursetotheLatin，andinsteadofbelchsayeruct，andinsteadofbelchessayeructations；andifsomedonotunderstandthesetermsitmatterslittle，forcustomwillbringthemintouseinthecourseoftime，sothattheywillbereadilyunderstood；thisisthewayalanguageisenriched；customandthepublicareall-powerfulthere。“
　　“Intruth，senor，“saidSancho，“oneofthecounselsandcautionsImeantobearinmindshallbethis，nottobelch，forI'mconstantlydoingit。“
　　“Eruct，Sancho，notbelch，“saidDonQuixote。
　　“Eruct，Ishallsayhenceforth，andIswearnottoforgetit，“
　　saidSancho。
　　“Likewise，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thoumustnotminglesuchaquantityofproverbsinthydiscourseasthoudost；forthoughproverbsareshortmaxims，thoudostdragtheminsooftenbytheheadandshouldersthattheysavourmoreofnonsensethanofmaxims。“
　　“Godalonecancurethat，“saidSancho；“forIhavemoreproverbsinmethanabook，andwhenIspeaktheycomesothicktogetherintomymouththattheyfalltofightingamongthemselvestogetout；that'swhymytongueletsflythefirstthatcome，thoughtheymaynotbepattothepurpose。ButI'lltakecarehenceforwardtousesuchasbefitthedignityofmyoffice；for'inahousewherethere'splenty，supperissooncooked，'and'hewhobindsdoesnotwrangle，'and'thebell-ringer'sinasafeberth，'and'givingandkeepingrequirebrains。'“
　　“That'sit，Sancho！”saidDonQuixote；“pack，tack，stringproverbstogether；nobodyishinderingthee！'Mymotherbeatsme，andIgoonwithmytricks。'Iambiddingtheeavoidproverbs，andhereinasecondthouhastshotoutawholelitanyofthem，whichhaveasmuchtodowithwhatwearetalkingaboutas'overthehillsofUbeda。'Mind，Sancho，Idonotsaythataproverbaptlybroughtinisobjectionable；buttopileupandstringtogetherproverbsatrandommakesconversationdullandvulgar。
　　“Whenthouridestonhorseback，donotgolollingwiththybodyonthebackofthesaddle，norcarrythylegsstifforstickingoutfromthehorse'sbelly，noryetsitsolooselythatonewouldsupposethouwertonDapple；fortheseatonahorsemakesgentlemenofsomeandgroomsofothers。
　　“Bemoderateinthysleep；forhewhodoesnotriseearlydoesnotgetthebenefitoftheday；andremember，Sancho，diligenceisthemotherofgoodfortune，andindolence，itsopposite，neveryetattainedtheobjectofanhonestambition。
　　“ThelastcounselIwillgivetheenow，thoughitdoesnottendtobodilyimprovement，Iwouldhavetheecarrycarefullyinthymemory，forIbelieveitwillbenolessusefultotheethanthoseIhavegiventheealready，anditisthis-neverengageinadisputeaboutfamilies，atleastinthewayofcomparingthemonewithanother；
　　fornecessarilyoneofthosecomparedwillbebetterthantheother，andthouwiltbehatedbytheonethouhastdisparaged，andgetnothinginanyshapefromtheonethouhastexalted。
　　“Thyattireshallbehoseoffulllength，alongjerkin，andacloakatriflelonger；loosebreechesbynomeans，fortheyarebecomingneitherforgentlemennorforgovernors。
　　“Forthepresent，Sancho，thisisallthathasoccurredtometoadvisethee；astimegoesbyandoccasionsarisemyinstructionsshallfollow，ifthoutakecaretoletmeknowhowthouartcircumstanced。“
　　“Senor，“saidSancho，“Iseewellenoughthatallthesethingsyourworshiphassaidtomearegood，holy，andprofitable；butwhatusewilltheybetomeifIdon'trememberoneofthem？Tobesurethataboutnotlettingmynailsgrow，andmarryingagainifIhavethechance，willnotslipoutofmyhead；butallthatotherhash，muddle，andjumble-Idon'tandcan'trecollectanymoreofitthanoflastyear'sclouds；soitmustbegivenmeinwriting；forthoughIcan'teitherreadorwrite，I'llgiveittomyconfessor，todriveitintomeandremindmeofitwheneveritisnecessary。“
　　“Ah，sinnerthatIam！”saidDonQuixote，“howbaditlooksingovernorsnottoknowhowtoreadorwrite；forletmetellthee，Sancho，whenamanknowsnothowtoread，orisleft-handed，itarguesoneoftwothings；eitherthathewasthesonofexceedinglymeanandlowlyparents，orthathehimselfwassoincorrigibleandill-conditionedthatneithergoodcompanynorgoodteachingcouldmakeanyimpressiononhim。Itisagreatdefectthatthoulabourestunder，andthereforeIwouldhavetheelearnatanyratetosignthyname。“
　　“Icansignmynamewellenough，“saidSancho，“forwhenIwasstewardofthebrotherhoodinmyvillageIlearnedtomakecertainletters，likethemarksonbalesofgoods，whichtheytoldmemadeoutmyname。BesidesIcanpretendmyrighthandisdisabledandmakesomeoneelsesignforme，for'there'saremedyforeverythingexceptdeath；'andasIshallbeincommandandholdthestaff，IcandoasI
　　like；moreover，'hewhohasthealcaldeforhisfather-，'andI'llbegovernor，andthat'shigherthanalcalde。Onlycomeandsee！Letthemmakelightofmeandabuseme；'they'llcomeforwoolandgobackshorn；''whomGodloves，hishouseisknowntoHim；''thesillysayingsoftherichpassforsawsintheworld；'andasI'llberich，beingagovernor，andatthesametimegenerous，asImeantobe，nofaultwillheseeninme。'Onlymakeyourselfhoneyandtheflieswillsuckyou；''asmuchasthouhastsomuchartthouworth，'
　　asmygrandmotherusedtosay；and'thoucansthavenorevengeofamanofsubstance。'“
　　“Oh，God'scurseuponthee，Sancho！”hereexclaimedDonQuixote；
　　“sixtythousanddevilsflyawaywiththeeandthyproverbs！Forthelasthourthouhastbeenstringingthemtogetherandinflictingthepangsoftortureonmewitheveryoneofthem。Thoseproverbswillbringtheetothegallowsoneday，Ipromisethee；thysubjectswilltakethegovernmentfromthee，ortherewillberevoltsamongthem。
　　Tellme，wheredostthoupickthemup，thoubooby？Howdostthouapplythem，thoublockhead？Forwithme，toutteroneandmakeitapplyproperly，IhavetosweatandlabourasifIweredigging。“
　　“ByGod，mastermine，“saidSancho，“yourworshipismakingafussaboutverylittle。WhythedevilshouldyoubevexedifImakeuseofwhatismyown？AndIhavegotnothingelse，noranyotherstockintradeexceptproverbsandmoreproverbs；andherearethreejustthisinstantcomeintomyhead，pattothepurposeandlikepearsinabasket；butIwon'trepeatthem，for'sagesilenceiscalledSancho。'“
　　“That，Sancho，thouartnot，“saidDonQuixote；“fornotonlyartthounotsagesilence，butthouartpestilentprateandperversity；
　　stillIwouldliketoknowwhatthreeproverbshavejustnowcomeintothymemory，forIhavebeenturningovermineown-anditisagoodone-andnoneoccurstome。“
　　“Whatcanbebetter，“saidSancho，“than'neverputthythumbsbetweentwobackteeth；'and'to“getoutofmyhouse“and“whatdoyouwantwithmywife？”thereisnoanswer；'and'whetherthepitcherhitsthestove，orthestovethepitcher，it'sabadbusinessforthepitcher；'allwhichfittoahair？Fornooneshouldquarrelwithhisgovernor，orhiminauthorityoverhim，becausehewillcomeofftheworst，ashedoeswhoputshisfingerbetweentwobackandiftheyarenotbackteethitmakesnodifference，solongastheyareteeth；andtowhateverthegovernormaysaythere'snoanswer，anymorethanto'getoutofmyhouse'
　　and'whatdoyouwantwithmywife？'andthen，asforthataboutthestoneandthepitcher，ablindmancouldseethat。Sothathe'whoseesthemoteinanother'seyehadneedtoseethebeaminhisown，'
　　thatitbenotsaidofhimself，'thedeadwomanwasfrightenedattheonewithherthroatcut；'andyourworshipknowswellthat'thefoolknowsmoreinhisownhousethanthewisemaninanother's。'“
　　“Nay，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“thefoolknowsnothing，eitherinhisownhouseorinanybodyelse's，fornowisestructureofanysortcanstandonafoundationoffolly；butletussaynomoreaboutit，Sancho，forifthougovernestbadly，thinewillhethefaultandminetheshame；butIcomfortmyselfwithhavingdonemydutyinadvisingtheeasearnestlyandaswiselyasIcould；andthusIamreleasedfrommyobligationsandmypromise。Godguidethee，Sancho，andgoverntheeinthygovernment，anddelivermefromthemisgivingI
　　havethatthouwiltturnthewholeislandupsidedown，athingImighteasilypreventbyexplainingtothedukewhatthouartandtellinghimthatallthatfatlittlepersonofthineisnothingelsebutasackfullofproverbsandsauciness。“
　　“Senor，“saidSancho，“ifyourworshipthinksI'mnotfitforthisgovernment，Igiveituponthespot；forthemereblackofthenailofmysoulisdearertomethanmywholebody；andIcanlivejustaswell，simpleSancho，onbreadandonions，asgovernor，onpartridgesandcapons；andwhat'smore，whilewe'reasleepwe'reallequal，greatandsmall，richandpoor。Butifyourworshiplooksintoit，youwillseeitwasyourworshipalonethatputmeontothisbusinessofgoverning；forIknownomoreaboutthegovernmentofislandsthanabuzzard；andifthere'sanyreasontothinkthatbecauseofmybeingagovernorthedevilwillgetholdofme，I'drathergoSanchotoheaventhangovernortohell。“
　　“ByGod，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“forthoselastwordsthouhastutteredalone，Iconsiderthoudeservesttobegovernorofathousandislands。Thouhastgoodnaturalinstincts，withoutwhichnoknowledgeisworthanything；commendthyselftoGod，andtrynottoswerveinthepursuitofthymainobject；Imean，alwaysmakeitthyaimandfixedpurposetodorightinallmattersthatcomebeforethee，forheavenalwayshelpsgoodintentions；andnowletusgotodinner，forIthinkmylordandladyarewaitingforus。“
　　CHAPTERXLIV
　　HOWSANCHOPANZAWASCONDUCTEDTOHISGOVERNMENT，ANDOFTHESTRANGE
　　ADVENTURETHATBEFELLDONQUIXOTEINTHECASTLE
　　ITiSstated，theysay，inthetrueoriginalofthishistory，thatwhenCideHametecametowritethischapter，hisinterpreterdidnottranslateitashewroteit-thatis，asakindofcomplainttheMoormadeagainsthimselfforhavingtakeninhandastorysodryandofsolittlevarietyasthisofDonQuixote，forhefoundhimselfforcedtospeakperpetuallyofhimandSancho，withoutventuringtoindulgeindigressionsandepisodesmoreseriousandmoreinteresting。Hesaid，too，thattogoon，mind，hand，penalwaysrestrictedtowritingupononesinglesubject，andspeakingthroughthemouthsofafewcharacters，wasintolerabledrudgery，theresultofwhichwasneverequaltotheauthor'slabour，andthattoavoidthishehadintheFirstPartavailedhimselfofthedeviceofnovels，like“TheIll-advisedCuriosity，“and“TheCaptiveCaptain，“whichstand，asitwere，apartfromthestory；theothersaregiventherebeingincidentswhichoccurredtoDonQuixotehimselfandcouldnotbeomitted。Healsothought，hesays，thatmany，engrossedbytheinterestattachingtotheexploitsofDonQuixote，wouldtakenoneinthenovels，andpassthemoverhastilyorimpatientlywithoutnoticingtheeleganceandartoftheircomposition，whichwouldbeverymanifestweretheypublishedbythemselvesandnotasmereadjunctstothecrazesofDonQuixoteorthesimplicitiesofSancho。
　　ThereforeinthisSecondParthethoughtitbestnottoinsertnovels，eitherseparateorinterwoven，butonlyepisodes，somethinglikethem，arisingoutofthecircumstancesthefactspresent；andeventhesesparingly，andwithnomorewordsthansufficetomakethemplain；andasheconfinesandrestrictshimselftothenarrowlimitsofthenarrative，thoughhehasability；capacity，andbrainsenoughtodealwiththewholeuniverse，herequeststhathislaboursmaynotbedespised，andthatcreditbegivenhim，notaloneforwhathewrites，butforwhathehasrefrainedfromwriting。
　　Andsohegoesonwithhisstory，sayingthatthedayDonQuixotegavethecounselstoSancho，thesameafternoonafterdinnerhehandedthemtohiminwritingsothathemightgetsomeonetoreadthemtohim。Theyhadscarcely，however，beengiventohimwhenheletthemdrop，andtheyfellintothehandsoftheduke，whoshowedthemtotheduchessandtheywerebothamazedafreshatthemadnessandwitofDonQuixote。Tocarryonthejoke，then，thesameeveningtheydespatchedSanchowithalargefollowingtothevillagethatwastoservehimforanisland。Ithappenedthatthepersonwhohadhiminchargewasamajordomooftheduke's，amanofgreatdiscretionandhumour-andtherecanbenohumourwithoutdiscretion-andthesamewhoplayedthepartoftheCountessTrifaldiinthecomicalwaythathasbeenalreadydescribed；andthusqualified，andinstructedbyhismasterandmistressastohowtodealwithSancho，hecarriedouttheirschemeadmirably。NowitcametopassthatassoonasSanchosawthismajordomoheseemedinhisfeaturestorecognisethoseoftheTrifaldi，andturningtohismaster，hesaidtohim，“Senor，eitherthedevilwillcarrymeoff，hereonthisspot，righteousandbelieving，oryourworshipwillowntomethatthefaceofthismajordomooftheduke'shereistheveryfaceoftheDistressedOne。“
　　DonQuixoteregardedthemajordomoattentively，andhavingdoneso，saidtoSancho，“Thereisnoreasonwhythedevilshouldcarrytheeoff，Sancho，eitherrighteousorbelieving-andwhatthoumeanestbythatIknownot；thefaceoftheDistressedOneisthatofthemajordomo，butforallthatthemajordomoisnottheDistressedOne；
　　forhisbeingsowouldinvolveamightycontradiction；butthisisnotthetimeforgoingintoquestionsofthesort，whichwouldbeinvolvingourselvesinaninextricablelabyrinth。Believeme，myfriend，wemustprayearnestlytoourLordthathedeliverusbothfromwickedwizardsandenchanters。“
　　“Itisnojoke，senor，“saidSancho，“forbeforethisIheardhimspeak，anditseemedexactlyasifthevoiceoftheTrifaldiwassoundinginmyears。Well，I'llholdmypeace；butI'lltakecaretobeonthelook-outhenceforthforanysignthatmaybeseentoconfirmordoawaywiththissuspicion。“
　　“Thouwiltdowell，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“andthouwiltletmeknowallthoudiscoverest，andallthatbefallstheeinthygovernment。“
　　Sanchoatlastsetoutattendedbyagreatnumberofpeople。Hewasdressedinthegarbofalawyer，withagabanoftawnywateredcamletoverallandamonteracapofthesamematerial，andmountedalaginetauponamule。Behindhim，inaccordancewiththeduke'sorders，followedDapplewithbrandnewass-trappingsandornamentsofsilk，andfromtimetotimeSanchoturnedroundtolookathisass，sowellpleasedtohavehimwithhimthathewouldnothavechangedplaceswiththeemperorofGermany。Ontakingleavehekissedthehandsofthedukeandduchessandgothismaster'sblessing，whichDonQuixotegavehimwithtears，andhereceivedblubbering。
　　LetworthySanchogoinpeace，andgoodlucktohim，GentleReader；andlookoutfortwobushelsoflaughter，whichtheaccountofhowhebehavedhimselfinofficewillgivethee。Inthemeantimeturnthyattentiontowhathappenedhismasterthesamenight，andifthoudostnotlaughthereat，atanyratethouwiltstretchthymouthwithagrin；forDonQuixote'sadventuresmustbehonouredeitherwithwonderorwithlaughter。
　　Itisrecorded，then，thatassoonasSanchohadgone，DonQuixotefelthisloneliness，andhaditbeenpossibleforhimtorevokethemandateandtakeawaythegovernmentfromhimhewouldhavedoneso。
　　Theduchessobservedhisdejectionandaskedhimwhyhewasmelancholy；because，shesaid，ifitwasforthelossofSancho，thereweresquires，duennas，anddamselsinherhousewhowouldwaituponhimtohisfullsatisfaction。
　　“Thetruthis，senora，“repliedDonQuixote，“thatIdofeelthelossofSancho；butthatisnotthemaincauseofmylookingsad；
　　andofalltheoffersyourexcellencemakesme，Iacceptonlythegood-willwithwhichtheyaremade，andastotheremainderI
　　entreatofyourexcellencetopermitandallowmealonetowaituponmyselfinmychamber。“
　　“Indeed，SenorDonQuixote，“saidtheduchess，“thatmustnotbe；
　　fourofmydamsels，asbeautifulasflowers，shallwaituponyou。“
　　“Tome，“saidDonQuixote，“theywillnotbeflowers，butthornstopiercemyheart。They，oranythinglikethem，shallassoonentermychamberasfly。Ifyourhighnesswishestogratifymestillfurther，thoughIdeserveitnot，permitmetopleasemyself，andwaituponmyselfinmyownroom；forIplaceabarrierbetweenmyinclinationsandmyvirtue，andIdonotwishtobreakthisrulethroughthegenerosityyourhighnessisdisposedtodisplaytowardsme；and，inshort，Iwillsleepinmyclothes，soonerthanallowanyonetoundressme。“
　　“Saynomore，SenorDonQuixote，saynomore，“saidtheduchess；
　　“IassureyouIwillgiveordersthatnotevenafly，nottosayadamsel，shallenteryourroom。IamnottheonetounderminetheproprietyofSenorDonQuixote，foritstrikesmethatamonghismanyvirtuestheonethatispre-eminentisthatofmodesty。Yourworshipmayundressanddressinprivateandinyourownway，asyoupleaseandwhenyouplease，fortherewillbenoonetohinderyou；
　　andinyourchamberyouwillfindalltheutensilsrequisitetosupplythewantsofonewhosleepswithhisdoorlocked，totheendthatnonaturalneedscompelyoutoopenit。MaythegreatDulcineadelTobosoliveathousandyears，andmayherfameextendalloverthesurfaceoftheglobe，forshedeservestobelovedbyaknightsovaliantandsovirtuous；andmaykindheaveninfusezealintotheheartofourgovernorSanchoPanzatofinishoffhisdisciplinespeedily，sothattheworldmayoncemoreenjoythebeautyofsograndalady。“
　　TowhichDonQuixotereplied，“Yourhighnesshasspokenlikewhatyouare；fromthemouthofanobleladynothingbadcancome；andDulcineawillbemorefortunate，andbetterknowntotheworldbythepraiseofyourhighnessthanbyalltheeulogiesthegreatestoratorsonearthcouldbestowuponher。“
　　“Well，well，SenorDonQuixote，“saidtheduchess，isnearlysupper-time，andthedukeisisprobablywaiting；comeletusgotosupper，andretiretorestearly，forthejourneyyoumadeyesterdayfromKandywasnotsuchashortonebutthatitmusthavecausedyousomefatigue。“
　　“Ifeelnone，senora，“saidDonQuixote，“forIwouldgosofarastosweartoyourexcellencethatinallmylifeInevermountedaquieterbeast，orapleasanterpacedone，thanClavileno；andI
　　don'tknowwhatcouldhaveinducedMalambrunotodiscardasteedsoswiftandsogentle，andburnitsorecklesslyashedid。“
　　“Probably，“saidtheduchess，“repentingoftheevilhehaddonetotheTrifaldiandcompany，andothers，andthecrimeshemusthavecommittedasawizardandenchanter，heresolvedtomakeawaywithalltheinstrumentsofhiscraft；andsoburnedClavilenoasthechiefone，andthatwhichmainlykepthimrestless，wanderingfromlandtoland；andbyitsashesandthetrophyoftheplacardthevalourofthegreatDonQuixoteofLaManchaisestablishedforever。“
　　DonQuixoterenewedhisthankstotheduchess；andhavingsupped，retiredtohischamberalone，refusingtoallowanyonetoenterwithhimtowaitonhim，suchwashisfearofencounteringtemptationsthatmightleadordrivehimtoforgethischastefidelitytohisladyDulcinea；forhehadalwayspresenttohismindthevirtueofAmadis，thatflowerandmirrorofknights-errant。Helockedthedoorbehindhim，andbythelightoftwowaxcandlesundressedhimself，butashewastakingoffhisstockings-Odisasterunworthyofsuchapersonage！-therecameaburst，notofsighs，oranythingbelyinghisdelicacyorgoodbreeding，butofsometwodozenstitchesinoneofhisstockings，thatmadeitlooklikeawindow-lattice。Theworthygentlemanwasbeyondmeasuredistressed，andatthatmomenthewouldhavegivenanounceofsilvertohavehadhalfadrachmofgreensilkthere；Isaygreensilk，becausethestockingsweregreen。