CHAPTERXXXIV
　　WHICHRELATESHOWTHEYLEARNEDTHEWAYINWHICHTHEYWERETO
　　DISENCHANTTHEPEERLESSDULCINEADELTOBOSO，WHICHISONEOFTHE
　　RARESTADVENTURESINTHISBOOK
　　GREATwasthepleasurethedukeandduchesstookintheconversationofDonQuixoteandSanchoPanza；and，morebentthaneverupontheplantheyhadofpractisingsomejokesuponthemthatshouldhavethelookandappearanceofadventures，theytookastheirbasisofactionwhatDonQuixotehadalreadytoldthemaboutthecaveofMontesinos，inordertoplayhimafamousone。ButwhattheduchesmarvelledataboveallwasthatSancho'ssimplicitycouldbesogreatastomakehimbelieveasabsolutetruththatDulcineahadbeenenchanted，whenitwashehimselfwhohadbeentheenchanterandtricksterinthebusiness。Having，therefore，instructedtheirservantsineverythingtheyweretodo，sixdaysafterwardstheytookhimouttohunt，withasgreataretinueofhuntsmenandbeatersasacrownedking。
　　TheypresentedDonQuixotewithahuntingsuit，andSanchowithanotherofthefinestgreencloth；butDonQuixotedeclinedtoputhison，sayingthathemustsoonreturntothehardpursuitofarms，andcouldnotcarrywardrobesorstoreswithhim。Sancho，however，tookwhattheygavehim，meaningtosellitthefirstopportunity。
　　Theappointeddayhavingarrived，DonQuixotearmedhimself，andSanchoarrayedhimself，andmountedonhisDappleforhewouldnotgivehimupthoughtheyofferedhimahorse，heplacedhimselfinthemidstofthetroopofhuntsmen。Theduchesscameoutsplendidlyattired，andDonQuixote，inpurecourtesyandpoliteness，heldthereinofherpalfrey，thoughthedukewantednottoallowhim；andatlasttheyreachedawoodthatlaybetweentwohighmountains，where，afteroccupyingvariousposts，ambushes，andpaths，anddistributingthepartyindifferentpositions，thehuntbeganwithgreatnoise，shouting，andhallooing，sothat，betweenthebayingofthehoundsandtheblowingofthehorns，theycouldnothearoneanother。Theduchessdismounted，andwithasharpboar-spearinherhandpostedherselfwheresheknewthewildboarswereinthehabitofpassing。ThedukeandDonQuixotelikewisedismountedandplacedthemselvesoneateachsideofher。SanchotookupapositionintherearofallwithoutdismountingfromDapple，whomhedarednotdesertlestsomemischiefshouldbefallhim。Scarcelyhadtheytakentheirstandinalinewithseveraloftheirservants，whentheysawahugeboar，closelypressedbythehoundsandfollowedbythehuntsmen，makingtowardsthem，grindinghisteethandtusks，andscatteringfoamfromhismouth。AssoonashesawhimDonQuixote，bracinghisshieldonhisarm，anddrawinghissword，advancedtomeethim；thedukewithboar-speardidthesame；buttheduchesswouldhavegoneinfrontofthemallhadnotthedukepreventedher。Sanchoalone，desertingDappleatthesightofthemightybeast，tooktohisheelsashardashecouldandstroveinvaintomountatalloak。Ashewasclingingtoabranch，however，half-wayupinhisstruggletoreachthetop，thebough，suchwashisill-luckandhardfate，gaveway，andcaughtinhisfallbyabrokenlimboftheoak，hehungsuspendedintheairunabletoreachtheground。Findinghimselfinthisposition，andthatthegreencoatwasbeginningtotear，andreflectingthatifthefierceanimalcamethatwayhemightbeabletogetathim，hebegantouttersuchcries，andcallforhelpsoearnestly，thatallwhoheardhimanddidnotseehimfeltsurehemustbeintheteethofsomewildbeast。Intheendthetuskedboarfellpiercedbythebladesofthemanyspearstheyheldinfrontofhim；andDonQuixote，turningroundatthecriesofSancho，forheknewbythemthatitwashe，sawhimhangingfromtheoakheaddownwards，withDapple，whodidnotforsakehiminhisdistress，closebesidehim；andCideHameteobservesthatheseldomsawSanchoPanzawithoutseeingDapple，orDapplewithoutseeingSanchoPanza；suchwastheirattachmentandloyaltyonetotheother。DonQuixotewentoverandunhookedSancho，who，assoonashefoundhimselfontheground，lookedattherentinhishuntingcoatandwasgrievedtotheheart，forhethoughthehadgotapatrimonialestateinthatsuit。
　　Meanwhiletheyhadslungthemightyboaracrossthebackofamule，andhavingcovereditwithsprigsofrosemaryandbranchesofmyrtle，theyboreitawayasthespoilsofvictorytosomelargefield-tentswhichhadbeenpitchedinthemiddleofthewood，wheretheyfoundthetableslaidanddinnerserved，insuchgrandandsumptuousstylethatitwaseasytoseetherankandmagnificenceofthosewhohadprovidedit。Sancho，asheshowedtherentsinhistornsuittotheduchess，observed，“Ifwehadbeenhuntinghares，oraftersmallbirds，mycoatwouldhavebeensafefrombeingintheplightit'sin；Idon'tknowwhatpleasureonecanfindinlyinginwaitforananimalthatmaytakeyourlifewithhistuskifhegetsatyou。Irecollecthavingheardanoldballadsungthatsays，Bybearsbethoudevoured，aserstWasfamousFavila。“
　　“That，“saidDonQuixote，“wasaGothicking，who，goinga-hunting，wasdevouredbyabear。“
　　“Justso，“saidSancho；“andIwouldnothavekingsandprincesexposethemselvestosuchdangersforthesakeofapleasurewhich，tomymind，oughtnottobeone，asitconsistsinkillingananimalthathasdonenoharmwhatever。“
　　“Quitethecontrary，Sancho；youarewrongthere，“saidtheduke；
　　“forhuntingismoresuitableandrequisiteforkingsandprincesthanforanybodyelse。Thechaseistheemblemofwar；ithasstratagems，wiles，andcraftydevicesforovercomingtheenemyinsafety；initextremecoldandintolerableheathavetobeborne，indolenceandsleeparedespised，thebodilypowersareinvigorated，thelimbsofhimwhoengagesinitaremadesupple，and，inaword，itisapursuitwhichmaybefollowedwithoutinjurytoanyoneandwithenjoymenttomany；andthebestofitis，itisnotforeverybody，asfield-sportsofothersortsare，excepthawking，whichalsoisonlyforkingsandgreatlords。Reconsideryouropiniontherefore，Sancho，andwhenyouaregovernortaketohunting，andyouwillfindthegoodofit。“
　　“Nay，“saidSancho，“thegoodgovernorshouldhaveabrokenlegandkeepathome；“itwouldbeanicethingif，afterpeoplehadbeenatthetroubleofcomingtolookforhimonbusiness，thegovernorweretobeawayintheforestenjoyinghimself；thegovernmentwouldgoonbadlyinthatfashion。Bymyfaith，senor，huntingandamusementsaremorefitforidlersthanforgovernors；
　　whatIintendtoamusemyselfwithisplayingallfoursatEastertime，andbowlsonSundaysandholidays；forthesehuntingsdon'tsuitmyconditionoragreewithmyconscience。“
　　“Godgrantitmayturnoutso，“saidtheduke；“becauseit'salongstepfromsayingtodoing。“
　　“Bethatasitmay，“saidSancho，“'pledgesdon'tdistressagoodpayer，'and'hewhomGodhelpsdoesbetterthanhewhogetsupearly，'
　　and'it'sthetripesthatcarrythefeetandnotthefeetthetripes；'
　　ImeantosaythatifGodgivesmehelpandIdomydutyhonestly，nodoubtI'llgovernbetterthanagerfalcon。Nay，letthemonlyputafingerinmymouth，andthey'llseewhetherIcanbiteornot。“
　　“ThecurseofGodandallhissaintsuponthee，thouaccursedSancho！”exclaimedDonQuixote；“whenwillthedaycome-asIhaveoftensaidtothee-whenIshallheartheemakeonesinglecoherent，rationalremarkwithoutproverbs？Pray，yourhighnesses，leavethisfoolalone，forhewillgrindyoursoulsbetween，nottosaytwo，buttwothousandproverbs，draggedinasmuchinseason，andasmuchtothepurposeas-mayGodgrantasmuchhealthtohim，ortomeifIwanttolistentothem！”
　　“SanchoPanza'sproverbs，“saidtheduchess，“thoughmoreinnumberthantheGreekCommander's，arenotthereforelesstobeesteemedfortheconcisenessofthemaxims。Formyownpart，Icansaytheygivememorepleasurethanothersthatmaybebetterbroughtinandmoreseasonablyintroduced。“
　　Inpleasantconversationofthissorttheypassedoutofthetentintothewood，andthedaywasspentinvisitingsomeofthepostsandhiding-places，andthennightclosedin，not，however，asbrilliantlyortranquillyasmighthavebeenexpectedattheseason，foritwasthenmidsummer；butbringingwithitakindofhazethatgreatlyaidedtheprojectofthedukeandduchess；andthus，asnightbegantofall，andalittleaftertwilightsetin，suddenlythewholewoodonallfoursidesseemedtobeonfire，andshortlyafter，here，there，onallsides，avastnumberoftrumpetsandothermilitaryinstrumentswereheard，asifseveraltroopsofcavalrywerepassingthroughthewood。Theblazeofthefireandthenoiseofthewarlikeinstrumentsalmostblindedtheeyesanddeafenedtheearsofthosethatstoodby，andindeedofallwhowereinthewood。
　　ThentherewereheardrepeatedleliliesafterthefashionoftheMoorswhentheyrushtobattle；trumpetsandclarionsbrayed，drumsbeat，fifesplayed，sounceasinglyandsofastthathecouldnothavehadanysenseswhodidnotlosethemwiththeconfuseddinofsomanyinstruments。Thedukewasastounded，theduchessamazed，DonQuixotewondering，SanchoPanzatrembling，andindeed，eventheywhowereawareofthecausewerefrightened。Intheirfear，silencefelluponthem，andapostillion，intheguiseofademon，passedinfrontofthem，blowing，inlieuofabugle，ahugehollowhornthatgaveoutahorriblehoarsenote。
　　“Hothere！brothercourier，“criedtheduke，“whoareyou？Whereareyougoing？Whattroopsarethesethatseemtobepassingthroughthewood？”
　　Towhichthecourierrepliedinaharsh，discordantvoice，“Iamthedevil；IaminsearchofDonQuixoteofLaMancha；thosewhoarecomingthiswayaresixtroopsofenchanters，whoarebringingonatriumphalcarthepeerlessDulcineadelToboso；shecomesunderenchantment，togetherwiththegallantFrenchmanMontesinos，togiveinstructionstoDonQuixoteastohow，shethesaidlady，maybedisenchanted。“
　　“Ifyouwerethedevil，asyousayandasyourappearanceindicates，“saidtheduke，“youwouldhaveknownthesaidknightDonQuixoteofLaMancha，foryouhavehimherebeforeyou。“
　　“ByGodanduponmyconscience，“saidthedevil，“Ineverobservedit，formymindisoccupiedwithsomanydifferentthingsthatIwasforgettingthemainthingIcameabout。“
　　“ThisdemonmustbeanhonestfellowandagoodChristian，“saidSancho；“forifhewasn'thewouldn'tswearbyGodandhisconscience；
　　Ifeelsurenowtheremustbegoodsoulseveninhellitself。“
　　Withoutdismounting，thedemonthenturnedtoDonQuixoteandsaid，“TheunfortunatebutvaliantknightMontesinossendsmetothee，theKnightoftheLionswouldthatIsawtheeintheirclaws，biddingmetelltheetowaitforhimwhereverImayfindthee，ashebringswithhimherwhomtheycallDulcineadelToboso，thathemayshowtheewhatisneedfulinordertodisenchanther；andasIcamefornomoreIneedstaynolonger；demonsofmysortbewiththee，andgoodangelswiththesegentles；“andsosayingheblewhishugehorn，turnedaboutandwentoffwithoutwaitingforareplyfromanyone。
　　Theyallfeltfreshwonder，butparticularlySanchoandDonQuixote；
　　Sanchotoseehow，indefianceofthetruth，theywouldhaveitthatDulcineawasenchanted；DonQuixotebecausehecouldnotfeelsurewhetherwhathadhappenedtohiminthecaveofMontesinoswastrueornot；andashewasdeepinthesecogitationsthedukesaidtohim，“Doyoumeantowait，SenorDonQuixote？”
　　“Whynot？”repliedhe；“herewillIwait，fearlessandfirm，thoughallhellshouldcometoattackme。“
　　“Wellthen，ifIseeanotherdevilorhearanotherhornlikethelast，I'llwaithereasmuchasinFlanders，“saidSancho。
　　Nightnowclosedinmorecompletely，andmanylightsbegantoflitthroughthewood，justasthosefieryexhalationsfromtheearth，thatlooklikeshooting-starstooureyes，flitthroughtheheavens；afrightfulnoise，too，washeard，likethatmadebythesolidwheelstheox-cartsusuallyhave，bytheharsh，ceaselesscreakingofwhich，theysay，thebearsandwolvesareputtoflight，iftherehappentobeanywheretheyarepassing。Inadditiontoallthiscommotion，therecameafurtherdisturbancetoincreasethetumult，fornowitseemedasifintruth，onallfoursidesofthewood，fourencountersorbattlesweregoingonatthesametime；inonequarterresoundedthedullnoiseofaterriblecannonade，inanothernumberlessmusketswerebeingdischarged，theshoutsofthecombatantssoundedalmostcloseathand，andfartherawaytheMoorishlelilieswereraisedagainandagain。Inaword，thebugles，thehorns，theclarions，thetrumpets，thedrums，thecannon，themusketry，andaboveallthetremendousnoiseofthecarts，allmadeuptogetheradinsoconfusedandterrificthatDonQuixotehadneedtosummonupallhiscouragetobraveit；butSancho'sgaveway，andhefellfaintingontheskirtoftheduchess'srobe，wholethimliethereandpromptlybadethemthrowwaterinhisface。Thiswasdone，andhecametohimselfbythetimethatoneofthecartswiththecreakingwheelsreachedthespot。Itwasdrawnbyfourploddingoxenallcoveredwithblackhousings；oneachhorntheyhadfixedalargelightedwaxtaper，andonthetopofthecartwasconstructedaraisedseat，onwhichsatavenerableoldmanwithabeardwhiterthantheverysnow，andsolongthatitfellbelowhiswaist；hewasdressedinalongrobeofblackbuckram；forasthecartwasthicklysetwithamultitudeofcandlesitwaseasytomakeouteverythingthatwasonit。Leadingitweretwohideousdemons，alsocladinbuckram，withcountenancessofrightfulthatSancho，havingonceseenthem，shuthiseyessoasnottoseethemagain。Assoonasthecartcameoppositethespottheoldmanrosefromhisloftyseat，andstandingupsaidinaloudvoice，“IamthesageLirgandeo，“andwithoutanotherwordthecartthenpassedon。Behinditcameanotherofthesameform，withanotheragedmanenthroned，who，stoppingthecart，saidinavoicenolesssolemnthanthatofthefirst，“IamthesageAlquife，thegreatfriendofUrgandatheUnknown，“andpassedon。Thenanothercartcamebyatthesamepace，buttheoccupantofthethronewasnotoldliketheothers，butamanstalwartandrobust，andofaforbiddingcountenance，whoashecameupsaidinavoicefarhoarserandmoredevilish，“IamtheenchanterArchelaus，themortalenemyofAmadisofGaulandallhiskindred，“andthenpassedon。Havinggoneashortdistancethethreecartshaltedandthemonotonousnoiseoftheirwheelsceased，andsoonaftertheyheardanother，notnoise，butsoundofsweet，harmoniousmusic，ofwhichSanchowasveryglad，takingittobeagoodsign；andsaidhetotheduchess，fromwhomhedidnotstirastep，orforasingleinstant，“Senora，wherethere'smusictherecan'tbemischief。“
　　“Norwheretherearelightsanditisbright，“saidtheduchess；
　　towhichSanchoreplied，“Firegiveslight，andit'sbrightwheretherearebonfires，asweseebythosethatareallroundusandperhapsmayburnus；butmusicisasignofmirthandmerrymaking。“
　　“Thatremainstobeseen，“saidDonQuixote，whowaslisteningtoallthatpassed；andhewasright，asisshowninthefollowingchapter。
　　CHAPTERXXXV
　　WHEREINISCONTINUEDTHEINSTRUCTIONGIVENTODONQUIXOTETOUCHING
　　THEDISENCHANTMENTOFDULCINEA，TOGETHERWITHOTHERMARVELLOUS
　　INCIDENTS
　　THEYsawadvancingtowardsthem，tothesoundofthispleasingmusic，whattheycallatriumphalcar，drawnbysixgreymuleswithwhitelinenhousings，oneachofwhichwasmountedapenitent，robedalsoinwhite，withalargelightedwaxtaperinhishand。Thecarwastwiceor，perhaps，threetimesaslargeastheformerones，andinfrontandonthesidesstoodtwelvemorepenitents，allaswhiteassnowandallwithlightedtapers，aspectacletoexcitefearaswellaswonder；andonaraisedthronewasseatedanymphdrapedinamultitudeofsilver-tissueveilswithanembroideryofcountlessgoldspanglesglitteringalloverthem，thatmadeherappear，ifnotrichly，atleastbrilliantly，apparelled。Shehadherfacecoveredwiththintransparentsendal，thetextureofwhichdidnotpreventthefairfeaturesofamaidenfrombeingdistinguished，whilethenumerouslightsmadeitpossibletojudgeofherbeautyandofheryears，whichseemedtobenotlessthanseventeenbutnottohaveyetreachedtwenty。Besideherwasafigureinarobeofstate，astheycallit，reachingtothefeet，whiletheheadwascoveredwithablackveil。
　　ButtheinstantthecarwasoppositethedukeandduchessandDonQuixotethemusicoftheclarionsceased，andthenthatofthelutesandharpsonthecar，andthefigureintheroberoseup，andflingingitapartandremovingtheveilfromitsface，disclosedtotheireyestheshapeofDeathitself，fleshlessandhideous，atwhichsightDonQuixotefeltuneasy，Sanchofrightened，andthedukeandduchessdisplayedacertaintrepidation。Havingrisentoitsfeet，thislivingdeath，inasleepyvoiceandwithatonguehardlyawake，heldforthasfollows：
　　IamthatMerlinwhothelegendssayThedevilhadforfather，andthelieHathgatheredcredencewiththelapseoftime。
　　Ofmagicprince，ofZoroastricloreMonarchandtreasurer，withjealouseyeIviewtheeffortsoftheagetohideThegallantdeedsofdoughtyerrantknights，Whoare，andeverhavebeen，deartome。
　　EnchantersandmagiciansandtheirkindAremostlyhardofheart；notsoamI；
　　Formineistender，soft，compassionate，Anditsdelightisdoinggoodtoall。
　　InthedimcavernsofthegloomyDis，Where，tracingmysticlinesandcharacters，Mysoulabidethnow，therecametomeThesorrow-ladenplaintofher，thefair，ThepeerlessDulcineadelToboso。
　　Iknewofherenchantmentandherfate，Fromhigh-borndametopeasantwenchtransformedAndtouchedwithpity，firstIturnedtheleavesOfcountlessvolumesofmydevilishcraft，Andthen，inthisgrimgrislyskeletonMyselfencasing，hitherhaveIcomeToshowwhereliesthefittingremedyTogivereliefinsuchapiteouscase。
　　Othou，theprideandpinkofallthatwearTheadamantinesteel！Oshininglight，Obeacon，polestar，pathandguideofallWho，scorningslumberandthelazydown，Adoptthetoilsomelifeofbloodstainedarms！
　　Tothee，greatherowhoallpraisetranscends，LaMancha'slustreandIberia'sstar，DonQuixote，wiseasbrave，totheeIsay-
　　ForpeerlessDulcineadelTobosoHerpristineformandbeautytoregain，'TisneedfulthatthyesquireSanchoshall，Onhisownsturdybuttocksbaredtoheaven，Threethousandandthreehundredlasheslay，Andthattheysmartandstingandhurthimwell。
　　Thushavetheauthorsofherwoeresolved。
　　Andthisis，gentles，whereforeIhavecome。
　　“Byallthat'sgood，“exclaimedSanchoatthis，“I'lljustassoongivemyselfthreestabswithadaggerasthree，nottosaythreethousand，lashes。Thedeviltakesuchawayofdisenchanting！I
　　don'tseewhatmybacksidehasgottodowithenchantments。ByGod，ifSenorMerlinhasnotfoundoutsomeotherwayofdisenchantingtheladyDulcineadelToboso，shemaygotohergraveenchanted。“
　　“ButI'lltakeyou，DonClownstuffedwithgarlic，“saidDonQuixote，“andtieyoutoatreeasnakedaswhenyourmotherbroughtyouforth，andgiveyou，nottosaythreethousandthreehundred，butsixthousandsixhundredlashes，andsowelllaidonthattheywon'tbegotridofifyoutrythreethousandthreehundredtimes；
　　don'tanswermeawordorI'lltearyoursoulout。“
　　OnhearingthisMerlinsaid，“Thatwillnotdo，forthelashesworthySanchohastoreceivemustbegivenofhisownfreewillandnotbyforce，andatwhatevertimehepleases，forthereisnofixedlimitassignedtohim；butitispermittedhim，ifhelikestocommutebyhalfthepainofthiswhipping，toletthembegivenbythehandofanother，thoughitmaybesomewhatweighty。“
　　“Notahand，myownoranybodyelse's，weightyorweighable，shalltouchme，“saidSancho。“WasitIthatgavebirthtotheladyDulcineadelToboso，thatmybacksideistopayforthesinsofhereyes？Mymaster，indeed，that'sapartofher-for，he'salwayscallingher'mylife'and'mysoul，'andhisstayandprop-mayandoughttowhiphimselfforherandtakeallthetroublerequiredforherdisenchantment。Butformetowhipmyself！Abernuncio！”
　　AssoonasSanchohaddonespeakingthenymphinsilverthatwasatthesideofMerlin'sghoststoodup，andremovingthethinveilfromherfacedisclosedonethatseemedtoallsomethingmorethanexceedinglybeautiful；andwithamasculinefreedomfromembarrassmentandinavoicenotverylikealady's，addressingSanchodirectly，said，“Thouwretchedsquire，soulofapitcher，heartofacorktree，withbowelsofflintandpebbles；if，thouimpudentthief，theybadetheethrowthyselfdownfromsomeloftytower；if，enemyofmankind，theyaskedtheetoswallowadozenoftoads，twooflizards，andthreeofadders；iftheywantedtheetoslaythywifeandchildrenwithasharpmurderousscimitar，itwouldbenowonderfortheetoshowthyselfstubbornandsqueamish。Buttomakeapieceofworkaboutthreethousandthreehundredlashes，whateverypoorlittlecharity-boygetseverymonth-itisenoughtoamaze，astonish，astoundthecompassionatebowelsofallwhohearit，nay，allwhocometohearitinthecourseoftime。Turn，Omiserable，hard-heartedanimal，turn，Isay，thosetimorousowl'seyesupontheseofminethatarecomparedtoradiantstars，andthouwiltseethemweepingtricklingstreamsandrills，andtracingfurrows，tracks，andpathsoverthefairfieldsofmycheeks。Letitmovethee，crafty，ill-conditionedmonster，toseemybloomingyouth-stillinitsteens，forIamnotyettwenty-wastingandwitheringawaybeneaththehuskofarudepeasantwench；andifIdonotappearinthatshapenow，itisaspecialfavourSenorMerlinherehasgrantedme，tothesoleendthatmybeautymaysoftenthee；forthetearsofbeautyindistressturnrocksintocottonandtigersintoewes。Layontothathideofthine，thougreatuntamedbrute，rouseupthylustyvigourthatonlyurgestheetoeatandeat，andsetfreethesoftnessofmyflesh，thegentlenessofmynature，andthefairnessofmyface。Andifthouwiltnotrelentorcometoreasonforme，dosoforthesakeofthatpoorknightthouhastbesidethee；thymasterImean，whosesoulIcanthismomentsee，howhehasitstuckinhisthroatnottenfingersfromhislips，andonlywaitingforthyinflexibleoryieldingreplytomakeitsescapebyhismouthorgobackagainintohisstomach。“
　　DonQuixoteonhearingthisfelthisthroat，andturningtothedukehesaid，“ByGod，senor，Dulcineasaystrue，Ihavemysoulstuckhereinmythroatlikethenutofacrossbow。“
　　“Whatsayyoutothis，Sancho？”saidtheduchess。
　　“Isay，senora，“returnedSancho，“whatIsaidbefore；asforthelashes，abernuncio！”
　　“Abrenuncio，youshouldsay，Sancho，andnotasyoudo，“saidtheduke。
　　“Letmealone，yourhighness，“saidSancho。“I'mnotinahumournowtolookintonicetiesoralettermoreorless，fortheselashesthataretobegivenme，orI'mtogivemyself，havesoupsetme，thatIdon'tknowwhatI'msayingordoing。ButI'dliketoknowofthislady，myladyDulcineadelToboso，whereshelearnedthiswayshehasofaskingfavours。Shecomestoaskmetoscoremyfleshwithlashes，andshecallsmesoulofapitcher，andgreatuntamedbrute，andastringoffoulnamesthatthedeviliswelcometo。Ismyfleshbrass？orisitanythingtomewhethersheisenchantedornot？Doesshebringwithherabasketoffairlinen，shirts，kerchiefs，socks-
　　notthatwearany-tocoaxme？No，nothingbutonepieceofabuseafteranother，thoughsheknowstheproverbtheyhaveherethat'anassloadedwithgoldgoeslightlyupamountain，'andthat'giftsbreakrocks，'and'prayingtoGodandplyingthehammer，'andthat'one“take“isbetterthantwo“I'llgivethee's。“'Thenthere'smymaster，whooughttostrokemedownandpetmetomakemeturnwoolandcardedcotton；hesaysifhegetsholdofmehe'lltiemenakedtoatreeanddoublethetaleoflashesonme。Thesetender-heartedgentryshouldconsiderthatit'snotmerelyasquire，butagovernortheyareaskingtowhiphimself；justasifitwas'drinkwithcherries。'Letthemlearn，plaguetakethem，therightwaytoask，andbeg，andbehavethemselves；foralltimesarenotalike，norarepeoplealwaysingoodhumour。I'mnowreadytoburstwithgriefatseeingmygreencoattorn，andtheycometoaskmetowhipmyselfofmyownfreewill，Ihavingaslittlefancyforitasforturningcacique。“
　　“Wellthen，thefactis，friendSancho，“saidtheduke，“thatunlessyoubecomesofterthanaripefig，youshallnotgetholdofthegovernment。Itwouldbeanicethingformetosendmyislandersacruelgovernorwithflintybowels，whowon'tyieldtothetearsofafflicteddamselsortotheprayersofwise，magisterial，ancientenchantersandsages。Inshort，Sancho，eitheryoumustbewhippedbyyourself，ortheymustwhipyou，oryoushan'tbegovernor。“
　　“Senor，“saidSancho，“won'ttwodays'gracebegivenmeinwhichtoconsiderwhatisbestforme？”
　　“No，certainlynot，“saidMerlin；“here，thisminute，andonthespot，themattermustbesettled；eitherDulcineawillreturntothecaveofMontesinosandtoherformerconditionofpeasantwench，orelseinherpresentformshallbecarriedtotheElysianfields，whereshewillremainwaitinguntilthenumberofstripesiscompleted。“
　　“Nowthen，Sancho！”saidtheduchess，“showcourage，andgratitudeforyourmasterDonQuixote'sbreadthatyouhaveeaten；weareallboundtoobligeandpleasehimforhisbenevolentdispositionandloftychivalry。Consenttothiswhipping，myson；tothedevilwiththedevil，andleavefeartomilksops，for'astoutheartbreaksbadluck，'asyouverywellknow。“
　　TothisSanchorepliedwithanirrelevantremark，which，addressingMerlin，hemadetohim，“Willyourworshiptellme，SenorMerlin-whenthatcourierdevilcameuphegavemymasteramessagefromSenorMontesinos，charginghimtowaitforhimhere，ashewascomingtoarrangehowtheladyDonaDulcineadelTobosowastobedisenchanted；butuptothepresentwehavenotseenMontesinos，noranythinglikehim。“
　　TowhichMerlinmadeanswer，“Thedevil，Sancho，isablockheadandagreatscoundrel；Isenthimtolookforyourmaster，butnotwithamessagefromMontesinosbutfrommyself；forMontesinosisinhiscaveexpecting，ormoreproperlyspeaking，waitingforhisdisenchantment；forthere'sthetailtobeskinnedyetforhim；ifheowesyouanything，oryouhaveanybusinesstotransactwithhim，I'llbringhimtoyouandputhimwhereyouchoose；butforthepresentmakeupyourmindtoconsenttothispenance，andbelievemeitwillbeverygoodforyou，forsoulaswellforbody-foryoursoulbecauseofthecharitywithwhichyouperformit，foryourbodybecauseIknowthatyouareofasanguinehabitanditwilldoyounoharmtodrawalittleblood。“
　　“Thereareagreatmanydoctorsintheworld；eventheenchantersaredoctors，“saidSancho；“however，aseverybodytellsmethesamething-thoughIcan'tseeitmyself-IsayIamwillingtogivemyselfthethreethousandthreehundredlashes，providedIamtolaythemonwheneverIlike，withoutanyfixingofdaysortimes；andI'lltryandgetoutofdebtasquicklyasIcan，thattheworldmayenjoythebeautyoftheladyDulcineadelToboso；asitseems，contrarytowhatIthought，thatsheisbeautifulafterall。Itmustbeacondition，too，thatIamnottobeboundtodrawbloodwiththescourge，andthatifanyofthelasheshappentohefly-flapperstheyaretocount。Item，that，incaseIshouldmakeanymistakeinthereckoning，SenorMerlin，asheknowseverything，istokeepcount，andletmeknowhowmanyarestillwantingoroverthenumber。“
　　“Therewillbenoneedtoletyouknowofanyover，“saidMerlin，“because，whenyoureachthefullnumber，theladyDulcineawillatonce，andthatveryinstant，bedisenchanted，andwillcomeinhergratitudetoseekouttheworthySancho，andthankhim，andevenrewardhimforthegoodwork。Soyouhavenocausetobeuneasyaboutstripestoomanyortoofew；heavenforbidIshouldcheatanyoneofevenahairofhishead。“
　　“Wellthen，inGod'shandsbeit，“saidSancho；“inthehardcaseI'minIgivein；IsayIacceptthepenanceontheconditionslaiddown。“
　　TheinstantSanchoutteredtheselastwordsthemusicoftheclarionsstruckuponcemore，andagainahostofmusketsweredischarged，andDonQuixotehungonSancho'sneckkissinghimagainandagainontheforeheadandcheeks。Theduchessandthedukeexpressedthegreatestsatisfaction，thecarbegantomoveon，andasitpassedthefairDulcineabowedtothedukeandduchessandmadealowcurtseytoSancho。
　　Andnowbrightsmilingdawncameonapace；theflowersofthefield，revived，raiseduptheirheads，andthecrystalwatersofthebrooks，murmuringoverthegreyandwhitepebbles，hastenedtopaytheirtributetotheexpectantrivers；thegladearth，theuncloudedsky，thefreshbreeze，theclearlight，eachandallshowedthatthedaythatcametreadingontheskirtsofmorningwouldbecalmandbright。Thedukeandduchess，pleasedwiththeirhuntandathavingcarriedouttheirplanssocleverlyandsuccessfully，returnedtotheircastleresolvedtofollowuptheirjoke；fortothemtherewasnorealitythatcouldaffordthemmoreamusement。
　　CHAPTERXXXVI
　　WHEREINISRELATEDTHESTRANGEANDUNDREAMT-OFADVENTUREOFTHE
　　DISTRESSEDDUENNA，ALIASTHECOUNTESSTRIFALDI，TOGETHERWITHALETTER
　　WHICHSANCHOPANZAWROTETOHISWIFE，TERESAPANZA
　　THEdukehadamajordomoofaveryfacetiousandsportiveturn，andheitwasthatplayedthepartofMerlin，madeallthearrangementsforthelateadventure，composedtheverses，andgotapagetorepresentDulcinea；andnow，withtheassistanceofhismasterandmistress，hegotupanotherofthedrollestandstrangestcontrivancesthatcanbeimagined。
　　TheduchessaskedSanchothenextdayifhehadmadeabeginningwithhispenancetaskwhichhehadtoperformforthedisenchantmentofDulcinea。Hesaidhehad，andhadgivenhimselffivelashesovernight。
　　Theduchessaskedhimwhathehadgiventhemwith。
　　Hesaidwithhishand。
　　“That，“saidtheduchess，“ismorelikegivingoneselfslapsthanlashes；IamsurethesageMerlinwillnotbesatisfiedwithsuchtenderness；worthySanchomustmakeascourgewithclaws，oracat-o'-ninetails，thatwillmakeitselffelt；forit'swithbloodthatlettersenter，andthereleaseofsogreataladyasDulcineawillnotbegrantedsocheaply，oratsuchapaltryprice；andremember，Sancho，thatworksofcharitydoneinalukewarmandhalf-heartedwayarewithoutmeritandofnoavail。“
　　TowhichSanchoreplied，“Ifyourladyshipwillgivemeaproperscourgeorcord，I'lllayonwithit，provideditdoesnothurttoomuch；foryoumustknow，boorasIam，myfleshismorecottonthanhemp，anditwon'tdoformetodestroymyselfforthegoodofanybodyelse。“
　　“Sobeitbyallmeans，“saidtheduchess；“tomorrowI'llgiveyouascourgethatwillbejustthethingforyou，andwillaccommodateitselftothetendernessofyourflesh，asifitwasitsownsister。“
　　ThensaidSancho，“Yourhighnessmustknow，dearladyofmysoul，thatIhavealetterwrittentomywife，TeresaPanza，givingheranaccountofallthathashappenedmesinceIlefther；Ihaveithereinmybosom，andthere'snothingwantingbuttoputtheaddresstoit；
　　I'dbegladifyourdiscretionwouldreadit，forIthinkitrunsinthegovernorstyle；Imeanthewaygovernorsoughttowrite。“
　　“Andwhodictatedit？”askedtheduchess。
　　“Whoshouldhavedictatedbutmyself，sinnerasIam？”saidSancho。
　　“Anddidyouwriteityourself？”saidtheduchess。
　　“ThatIdidn't，“saidSancho；“forIcanneitherreadnorwrite，thoughIcansignmyname。“
　　“Letusseeit，“saidtheduchess，“forneverfearbutyoudisplayinitthequalityandquantityofyourwit。“
　　Sanchodrewoutanopenletterfromhisbosom，andtheduchess，takingit，founditraninthisfashion：
　　SANCHOPANZA'SLETTERTOHISWIFE，TERESAPANZA
　　IfIwaswellwhippedIwentmountedlikeagentleman；ifIhavegotagoodgovernmentitisatthecostofagoodwhipping。Thouwiltnotunderstandthisjustnow，myTeresa；by-and-bythouwiltknowwhatitmeans。Imaytellthee，Teresa，Imeantheetogoinacoach，forthatisamatterofimportance，becauseeveryotherwayofgoingisgoingonall-fours。Thouartagovernor'swife；takecarethatnobodyspeakseviloftheebehindthyback。Isendtheehereagreenhuntingsuitthatmyladytheduchessgaveme；alteritsoastomakeapetticoatandbodiceforourdaughter。DonQuixote，mymaster，ifIamtobelievewhatIhearintheseparts，isamadmanofsomesense，andadrollblockhead，andIamnowaybehindhim。WehavebeeninthecaveofMontesinos，andthesageMerlinhaslaidholdofmeforthedisenchantmentofDulcineadelToboso，herthatiscalledAldonzaLorenzooverthere。Withthreethousandthreehundredlashes，lessfive，thatI'mtogivemyself，shewillbeleftasentirelydisenchantedasthemotherthatboreher。Saynothingofthistoanyone；for，makethyaffairspublic，andsomewillsaytheyarewhiteandotherswillsaytheyareblack。Ishallleavethisinafewdaysformygovernment，towhichIamgoingwithamightygreatdesiretomakemoney，fortheytellmeallnewgovernorssetoutwiththesamedesire；Iwillfeelthepulseofitandwilllettheeknowifthouarttocomeandlivewithmeornot。Dappleiswellandsendsmanyremembrancestothee；IamnotgoingtoleavehimbehindthoughtheytookmeawaytobeGrandTurk。Myladytheduchesskissesthyhandsathousandtimes；dothoumakeareturnwithtwothousand，forasmymastersays，nothingcostslessorischeaperthancivility。Godhasnotbeenpleasedtoprovideanothervaliseformewithanotherhundredcrowns，liketheonetheotherday；butnevermind，myTeresa，thebell-ringerisinsafequarters，andallwillcomeoutinthescouringofthegovernment；onlyittroublesmegreatlywhattheytellme-thatonceIhavetasteditIwilleatmyhandsoffafterit；andifthatissoitwillnotcomeverycheaptome；thoughtobesurethemaimedhaveabeneficeoftheirowninthealmstheybegfor；sothatonewayoranotherthouwiltberichandinluck。Godgiveittotheeashecan，andkeepmetoservethee。Fromthiscastle，the20thofJuly，1614。
　　Thyhusband，thegovernor。
　　SANCHOPANZA
　　WhenshehaddonereadingthelettertheduchesssaidtoSancho，“Ontwopointstheworthygovernorgoesratherastray；oneisinsayingorhintingthatthisgovernmenthasbeenbestoweduponhimforthelashesthatheistogivehimself，whenheknowsandhecannotdenyitthatwhenmylordthedukepromisedittohimnobodyeverdreamtofsuchathingaslashes；theotheristhatheshowshimselfheretoheverycovetous；andIwouldnothavehimamoney-seeker，for'covetousnessburststhebag，'andthecovetousgovernordoesungovernedjustice。“
　　“Idon'tmeanitthatway，senora，“saidSancho；“andifyouthinktheletterdoesn'trunasitoughttodo，it'sonlytotearitupandmakeanother；andmaybeitwillbeaworseoneifitislefttomygumption。“
　　“No，no，“saidtheduchess，“thisonewilldo，andIwishtheduketoseeit。“
　　Withthistheybetookthemselvestoagardenwheretheyweretodine，andtheduchessshowedSancho'slettertotheduke，whowashighlydelightedwithit。Theydined，andaftertheclothhadbeenremovedandtheyhadamusedthemselvesforawhilewithSancho'srichconversation，themelancholysoundofafifeandharshdiscordantdrummadeitselfheard。Allseemedsomewhatputoutbythisdull，confused，martialharmony，especiallyDonQuixote，whocouldnotkeephisseatfrompuredisquietude；astoSancho，itisneedlesstosaythatfeardrovehimtohisusualrefuge，thesideortheskirtsoftheduchess；andindeedandintruththesoundtheyheardwasamostdolefulandmelancholyone。Whiletheywerestillinuncertaintytheysawadvancingtowardsthemthroughthegardentwomencladinmourningrobessolongandflowingthattheytrailedupontheground。Astheymarchedtheybeattwogreatdrumswhichwerelikewisedrapedinblack，andbesidethemcamethefifeplayer，blackandsombreliketheothers。Followingthesecameapersonageofgiganticstatureenvelopedratherthancladinagownofthedeepestblack，theskirtofwhichwasofprodigiousdimensions。Overthegown，girdlingorcrossinghisfigure，hehadabroadbaldricwhichwasalsoblack，andfromwhichhungahugescimitarwithablackscabbardandfurniture。Hehadhisfacecoveredwithatransparentblackveil，throughwhichmightbedescriedaverylongbeardaswhiteassnow。Hecameonkeepingsteptothesoundofthedrumswithgreatgravityanddignity；and，inshort，hisstature，hisgait，thesombrenessofhisappearanceandhisfollowingmightwellhavestruckwithastonishment，astheydid，allwhobeheldhimwithoutknowingwhohewas。Withthismeasuredpaceandinthisguiseheadvancedtokneelbeforetheduke，who，withtheothers，awaitedhimstanding。Theduke，however，wouldnotonanyaccountallowhimtospeakuntilhehadrisen。Theprodigiousscarecrowobeyed，andstandingup，removedtheveilfromhisfaceanddisclosedthemostenormous，thelongest，thewhitestandthethickestbeardthathumaneyeshadeverbehelduntilthatmoment，andthenfetchingupagrave，sonorousvoicefromthedepthsofhisbroad，capaciouschest，andfixinghiseyesontheduke，hesaid：
　　“Mosthighandmightysenor，mynameisTrifaldinoftheWhiteBeard；IamsquiretotheCountessTrifaldi，otherwisecalledtheDistressedDuenna，onwhosebehalfIbearamessagetoyourhighness，whichisthatyourmagnificencewillbepleasedtograntherleaveandpermissiontocomeandtellyouhertrouble，whichisoneofthestrangestandmostwonderfulthatthemindmostfamiliarwithtroubleintheworldcouldhaveimagined；butfirstshedesirestoknowifthevaliantandnevervanquishedknight，DonQuixoteofLaMancha，isinthisyourcastle，forshehascomeinquestofhimonfootandwithoutbreakingherfastfromthekingdomofKandytoyourrealmshere；athingwhichmayandoughttoberegardedasamiracleorsetdowntoenchantment；sheisevennowatthegateofthisfortressorplaisance，andonlywaitsforyourpermissiontoenter。
　　Ihavespoken。“Andwiththathecoughed，andstrokeddownhisbeardwithbothhishands，andstoodverytranquillywaitingfortheresponseoftheduke，whichwastothiseffect：“Manydaysago，worthysquireTrifaldinoftheWhiteBeard，weheardofthemisfortuneofmyladytheCountessTrifaldi，whomtheenchantershavecausedtobecalledtheDistressedDuenna。Bidherenter，Ostupendoussquire，andtellherthatthevaliantknightDonQuixoteofLaManchaishere，andfromhisgenerousdispositionshemaysafelypromiseherselfeveryprotectionandassistance；andyoumaytellher，too，thatifmyaidbenecessaryitwillnotbewithheld，forIamboundtogiveittoherbymyqualityofknight，whichinvolvestheprotectionofwomenofallsorts，especiallywidowed，wronged，anddistresseddames，suchasherladyshipseemstobe。“
　　OnhearingthisTrifaldinbentthekneetotheground，andmakingasigntothefiferanddrummerstostrikeup，heturnedandmarchedoutofthegardentothesamenotesandatthesamepaceaswhenheentered，leavingthemallamazedathisbearingandsolemnity。TurningtoDonQuixote，thedukesaid，“Afterall，renownedknight，themistsofmaliceandignoranceareunabletohideorobscurethelightofvalourandvirtue。Isayso，becauseyourexcellencehasbeenbarelysixdaysinthiscastle，andalreadytheunhappyandtheafflictedcomeinquestofyoufromlandsfardistantandremote，andnotincoachesorondromedaries，butonfootandfasting，confidentthatinthatmightyarmtheywillfindacurefortheirsorrowsandtroubles；thankstoyourgreatachievements，whicharecirculatedallovertheknownearth。“
　　“Iwish，senorduke，“repliedDonQuixote，“thatblessedecclesiastic，whoattabletheotherdayshowedsuchill-willandbitterspiteagainstknights-errant，wereherenowtoseewithhisowneyeswhetherknightsofthesortareneededintheworld；hewouldatanyratelearnbyexperiencethatthosesufferinganyextraordinaryafflictionorsorrow，inextremecasesandunusualmisfortunesdonotgotolookforaremedytothehousesofjuristsorvillagesacristans，ortotheknightwhohasneverattemptedtopasstheboundsofhisowntown，ortotheindolentcourtierwhoonlyseeksfornewstorepeatandtalkof，insteadofstrivingtododeedsandexploitsforotherstorelateandrecord。Reliefindistress，helpinneed，protectionfordamsels，consolationforwidows，aretobefoundinnosortofpersonsbetterthaninknights-errant；andI
　　giveunceasingthankstoheaventhatIamone，andregardanymisfortuneorsufferingthatmaybefallmeinthepursuitofsohonourableacallingasenduredtogoodpurpose。Letthisduennacomeandaskwhatshewill，forIwilleffectherreliefbythemightofmyarmandthedauntlessresolutionofmyboldheart。“
　　CHAPTERXXXVII
　　WHEREINISCONTINUEDTHENOTABLEADVENTUREOFTHEDISTRESSEDDUENNA
　　THEdukeandduchesswereextremelygladtoseehowreadilyDonQuixotefellinwiththeirscheme；butatthismomentSanchoobserved，“Ihopethissenoraduennawon'tbeputtinganydifficultiesinthewayofthepromiseofmygovernment；forIhaveheardaToledoapothecary，whotalkedlikeagoldfinch，saythatwhereduennasweremixedupnothinggoodcouldhappen。Godblessme，howhehatedthem，thatsameapothecary！AndsowhatI'mthinkingis，ifallduennas，ofwhateversortorconditiontheymaybe，areplaguesandbusybodies，whatmusttheybethataredistressed，likethisCountessThree-skirtsorThree-tails！-forinmycountryskirtsortails，tailsorskirts，it'sallone。“
　　“Hush，friendSancho，“saidDonQuixote；“sincethisladyduennacomesinquestofmefromsuchadistantlandshecannotbeoneofthosetheapothecarymeant；moreoverthisisacountess，andwhencountessesserveasduennasitisintheserviceofqueensandempresses，forintheirownhousestheyaremistressesparamountandhaveotherduennastowaitonthem。“
　　TothisDonaRodriguez，whowaspresent，madeanswer，“Myladytheduchesshasduennasinherservicethatmightbecountessesifitwasthewilloffortune；'butlawsgoaskingslike；'letnobodyspeakillofduennas，aboveallofancientmaidenones；forthoughIamnotonemyself，Iknowandamawareoftheadvantageamaidenduennahasoveronethatisawidow；but'hewhoclippedushaskeptthescissors。'“
　　“Forallthat，“saidSancho，“there'ssomuchtobeclippedaboutduennas，somybarbersaid，that'itwillbebetternottostirthericeeventhoughitsticks。'“
　　“Thesesquires，“returnedDonaRodriguez，“arealwaysourenemies；
　　andastheyarethehauntingspiritsoftheantechambersandwatchusateverystep，whenevertheyarenotsayingtheirprayersandthat'softenenoughtheyspendtheirtimeintattlingaboutus，diggingupourbonesandburyingourgoodname。ButIcantellthesewalkingblocksthatwewillliveinspiteofthem，andingreathousestoo，thoughwedieofhungerandcoverourflesh，beitdelicateornot，withwidow'sweeds，asonecoversorhidesadunghillonaprocessionday。Bymyfaith，ifitwerepermittedmeandtimeallowed，Icouldprove，notonlytothoseherepresent，buttoalltheworld，thatthereisnovirtuethatisnottobefoundinaduenna。“
　　“Ihavenodoubt，“saidtheduchess，“thatmygoodDonaRodriguezisright，andverymuchso；butshehadbetterbidehertimeforfightingherownbattleandthatoftherestoftheduennas，soastocrushthecalumnyofthatvileapothecary，androotouttheprejudiceinthegreatSanchoPanza'smind。“
　　TowhichSanchoreplied，“EversinceIhavesniffedthegovernorshipIhavegotridofthehumoursofasquire，andIdon'tcareawildfigforalltheduennasintheworld。“
　　Theywouldhavecarriedonthisduennadisputefurtherhadtheynotheardthenotesofthefifeanddrumsoncemore，fromwhichtheyconcludedthattheDistressedDuennawasmakingherentrance。Theduchessaskedthedukeifitwouldbepropertogoouttoreceiveher，asshewasacountessandapersonofrank。
　　“Inrespectofherbeingacountess，“saidSancho，beforethedukecouldreply，“Iamforyourhighnessesgoingouttoreceiveher；butinrespectofherbeingaduenna，itismyopinionyoushouldnotstirastep。“
　　“Whobadetheemeddleinthis，Sancho？”saidDonQuixote。
　　“Who，senor？”saidSancho；“ImeddleforIhavearighttomeddle，asasquirewhohaslearnedtherulesofcourtesyintheschoolofyourworship，themostcourteousandbest-bredknightinthewholeworldofcourtliness；andinthesethings，asIhaveheardyourworshipsay，asmuchislostbyacardtoomanyasbyacardtoofew，andtoonewhohashisearsopen，fewwords。“
　　“Sanchoisright，“saidtheduke；“we'llseewhatthecountessislike，andbythatmeasurethecourtesythatisduetoher。“
　　Andnowthedrumsandfifemadetheirentranceasbefore；andheretheauthorbroughtthisshortchaptertoanendandbeganthenext，followingupthesameadventure，whichisoneofthemostnotableinthehistory。
　　CHAPTERXXXVIII
　　WHEREINISTOLDTHEDISTRESSEDDUENNA'STALEOFHERMISFORTUNES
　　FOLLOWINGthemelancholymusicianstherefiledintothegardenasmanyastwelveduennas，intwolines，alldressedinamplemourningrobesapparentlyofmilledserge，withhoodsoffinewhitegauzesolongthattheyallowedonlytheborderoftherobetobeseen。
　　BehindthemcametheCountessTrifaldi，thesquireTrifaldinoftheWhiteBeardleadingherbythehand，cladinthefinestunnappedblackbaize，suchthat，haditanap，everytuftwouldhaveshownasbigasaMartoschickpea；thetail，orskirt，orwhateveritmightbecalled，endedinthreepointswhichwereborneupbythehandsofthreepages，likewisedressedinmourning，forminganelegantgeometricalfigurewiththethreeacuteanglesmadebythethreepoints，fromwhichallwhosawthepeakedskirtconcludedthatitmustbebecauseofitthecountesswascalledTrifaldi，asthoughitwereCountessoftheThreeSkirts；andBenengelisaysitwasso，andthatbyherrightnameshewascalledtheCountessLobuna，becausewolvesbredingreatnumbersinhercountry；andif，insteadofwolves，theyhadbeenfoxes，shewouldhavebeencalledtheCountessZorruna，asitwasthecustominthosepartsforlordstotakedistinctivetitlesfromthethingorthingsmostabundantintheirdominions；thiscountess，however，inhonourofthenewfashionofherskirt，droppedLobunaandtookupTrifaldi。
　　Thetwelveduennasandtheladycameonatprocessionpace，theirfacesbeingcoveredwithblackveils，nottransparentoneslikeTrifaldin's，butsoclosethattheyallowednothingtobeseenthroughthem。Assoonasthebandofduennaswasfullyinsight，theduke，theduchess，andDonQuixotestoodup，aswellasallwhowerewatchingtheslow-movingprocession。Thetwelveduennashaltedandformedalane，alongwhichtheDistressedOneadvanced，Trifaldinstillholdingherhand。Onseeingthistheduke，theduchess，andDonQuixotewentsometwelvepacesforwardtomeether。Shethen，kneelingontheground，saidinavoicehoarseandrough，ratherthanfineanddelicate，“Mayitpleaseyourhighnessesnottooffersuchcourtesiestothisyourservant，Ishouldsaytothisyourhandmaid，forIaminsuchdistressthatIshallneverbeabletomakeaproperreturn，becausemystrangeandunparalleledmisfortunehascarriedoffmywits，andIknownotwhither；butitmustbealongwayoff，forthemoreIlookforthemthelessIfindthem。“
　　“Hewouldbewantinginwits，senoracountess，“saidtheduke，“whodidnotperceiveyourworthbyyourperson，forataglanceitmaybeseenitdeservesallthecreamofcourtesyandflowerofpoliteusage；“andraisingherupbythehandheledhertoaseatbesidetheduchess，wholikewisereceivedherwithgreaturbanity。DonQuixoteremainedsilent，whileSanchowasdyingtoseethefeaturesofTrifaldiandoneortwoofhermanyduennas；buttherewasnopossibilityofituntiltheythemselvesdisplayedthemoftheirownaccordandfreewill。
　　Allkeptstill，waitingtoseewhowouldbreaksilence，whichtheDistressedDuennadidinthesewords：“Iamconfident，mostmightylord，mostfairlady，andmostdiscreetcompany，thatmymostmiserablemiserywillbeaccordedareceptionnolessdispassionatethangenerousandcondolentinyourmostvaliantbosoms，foritisonethatisenoughtomeltmarble，softendiamonds，andmollifythesteelofthemosthardenedheartsintheworld；butereitisproclaimedtoyourhearing，nottosayyourears，Iwouldfainbeenlightenedwhethertherebepresentinthissociety，circle，orcompany，thatknightimmaculatissimus，DonQuixotedelaManchissima，andhissquirissimusPanza。“
　　“ThePanzaishere，“saidSancho，beforeanyonecouldreply，“andDonQuixotissimustoo；andso，mostdistressedestDuenissima，youmaysaywhatyouwillissimus，forweareallreadissimustodoyouanyservissimus。“
　　OnthisDonQuixoterose，andaddressingtheDistressedDuenna，said，“Ifyoursorrows，afflictedlady，canindulgeinanyhopeofrelieffromthevalourormightofanyknight-errant，herearemine，which，feebleandlimitedthoughtheybe，shallbeentirelydevotedtoyourservice。IamDonQuixoteofLaMancha，whosecallingitistogiveaidtotheneedyofallsorts；andthatbeingso，itisnotnecessaryforyou，senora，tomakeanyappealtobenevolence，ordealinpreambles，onlytotellyourwoesplainlyandstraightforwardly：foryouhavehearersthatwillknowhow，ifnottoremedythem，tosympathisewiththem。“
　　Onhearingthis，theDistressedDuennamadeasthoughshewouldthrowherselfatDonQuixote'sfeet，andactuallydidfallbeforethemandsaid，asshestrovetoembracethem，“BeforethesefeetandlegsI
　　castmyself，Ounconqueredknight，asbefore，whattheyare，thefoundationsandpillarsofknight-errantry；thesefeetIdesiretokiss，forupontheirstepshangsanddependsthesoleremedyformymisfortune，Ovalorouserrant，whoseveritableachievementsleavebehindandeclipsethefabulousonesoftheAmadises，Esplandians，andBelianises！”ThenturningfromDonQuixotetoSanchoPanza，andgraspinghishands，shesaid，“Othou，mostloyalsquirethateverservedknight-errantinthispresentageoragespast，whosegoodnessismoreextensivethanthebeardofTrifaldinmycompanionhereofpresent，wellmayestthouboastthyselfthat，inservingthegreatDonQuixote，thouartserving，summedupinone，thewholehostofknightsthathaveeverbornearmsintheworld。Iconjurethee，bywhatthouowesttothymostloyalgoodness，thatthouwiltbecomemykindintercessorwiththymaster，thathespeedilygiveaidtothismosthumbleandmostunfortunatecountess。“
　　TothisSanchomadeanswer，“Astomygoodness，senora，beingaslongandasgreatasyoursquire'sbeard，itmattersverylittletome；mayIhavemysoulwellbeardedandmoustachedwhenitcomestoquitthislife，that'sthepoint；aboutbeardsherebelowIcarelittleornothing；butwithoutalltheseblandishmentsandprayers，IwillbegmymasterforIknowhelovesme，and，besides，hehasneedofmejustnowforacertainbusinesstohelpandaidyourworshipasfarashecan；unpackyourwoesandlaythembeforeus，andleaveustodealwiththem，forwe'llbeallofonemind。“
　　Thedukeandduchess，asitwastheywhohadmadetheexperimentofthisadventure，werereadytoburstwithlaughteratallthis，andbetweenthemselvestheycommendedthecleveractingoftheTrifaldi，who，returningtoherseat，said，“QueenDonaMagunciareignedoverthefamouskingdomofKandy，whichliesbetweenthegreatTrapobanaandtheSouthernSea，twoleaguesbeyondCapeComorin。ShewasthewidowofKingArchipiela，herlordandhusband，andoftheirmarriagetheyhadissuethePrincessAntonomasia，heiressofthekingdom；whichPrincessAntonomasiawasrearedandbroughtupundermycareanddirection，Ibeingtheoldestandhighestinrankofhermother'sduennas。Timepassed，andtheyoungAntonomasiareachedtheageoffourteen，andsuchaperfectionofbeauty，thatnaturecouldnotraiseithigher。Then，itmustnotbesupposedherintelligencewaschildish；shewasasintelligentasshewasfair，andshewasfairerthanalltheworld；andissostill，unlesstheenviousfatesandhard-heartedsistersthreehavecutforherthethreadoflife。
　　Butthattheyhavenot，forHeavenwillnotsuffersogreatawrongtoEarth，asitwouldbetopluckunripethegrapesofthefairestvineyardonitssurface。Ofthisbeauty，towhichmypoorfeebletonguehasfailedtodojustice，countlessprinces，notonlyofthatcountry，butofothers，wereenamoured，andamongthemaprivategentleman，whowasatthecourt，daredtoraisehisthoughtstotheheavenofsogreatbeauty，trustingtohisyouth，hisgallantbearing，hisnumerousaccomplishmentsandgraces，andhisquicknessandreadinessofwit；forImaytellyourhighnesses，ifIamnotwearyingyou，thatheplayedtheguitarsoastomakeitspeak，andhewas，besides，apoetandagreatdancer，andhecouldmakebirdcagessowell，thatbymakingthemalonehemighthavegainedalivelihood，hadhefoundhimselfreducedtoutterpoverty；andgiftsandgracesofthiskindareenoughtobringdownamountain，nottosayatenderyounggirl。Butallhisgallantry，wit，andgaiety，allhisgracesandaccomplishments，wouldhavebeenoflittleornoavailtowardsgainingthefortressofmypupil，hadnottheimpudentthieftakentheprecautionofgainingmeoverfirst。First，thevillainandheartlessvagabondsoughttowinmygood-willandpurchasemycompliance，soastogetme，likeatreacherouswarder，todeliveruptohimthekeysofthefortressIhadincharge。Inaword，hegainedaninfluenceovermymind，andovercamemyresolutionswithI
　　knownotwhattrinketsandjewelshegaveme；butitwassomeversesI
　　heardhimsingingonenightfromagratingthatopenedonthestreetwherehelived，that，morethananythingelse，mademegivewayandledtomyfall；andifIrememberrightlytheyranthus：
　　FromthatsweetenemyofmineMybleedinghearthathhaditswound；
　　AndtoincreasethepainI'mboundTosufferandtomakenosign。
　　Thelinesseemedpearlstomeandhisvoicesweetassyrup；andafterwards，Imaysayeversincethen，lookingatthemisfortuneintowhichIhavefallen，Ihavethoughtthatpoets，asPlatoadvised，oughttohebanishedfromallwell-orderedStates；atleasttheamatoryones，fortheywriteverses，notlikethoseof'TheMarquisofMantua，'thatdelightanddrawtearsfromthewomenandchildren，butsharp-pointedconceitsthatpiercetheheartlikesoftthorns，andlikethelightningstrikeit，leavingtheraimentuninjured。Anothertimehesang：
　　ComeDeath，sosubtlyveiledthatI
　　Thycomingknownot，howorwhen，LestitshouldgivemelifeagainTofindhowsweetitistodie-
　　andotherversesandburdensofthesamesort，suchasenchantwhensungandfascinatewhenwritten。Andthen，whentheycondescendtocomposeasortofversethatwasatthattimeinvogueinKandy，whichtheycallseguidillas！Thenitisthatheartsleapandlaughterbreaksforth，andthebodygrowsrestlessandallthesensesturnquicksilver。AndsoIsay，sirs，thatthesetroubadoursrichlydeservetobebanishedtotheislesofthelizards。Thoughitisnottheythatareinfault，butthesimpletonsthatextolthem，andthefoolsthatbelieveinthem；andhadIbeenthefaithfulduennaIshouldhavebeen，hisstaleconceitswouldhavenevermovedme，norshouldI
　　havebeentakeninbysuchphrasesas'indeathIlive，''iniceI
　　burn，''inflamesIshiver，''hopelessIhope，''Igoandstay，'andparadoxesofthatsortwhichtheirwritingsarefullof。AndthenwhentheypromisethePhoenixofArabia，thecrownofAriadne，thehorsesoftheSun，thepearlsoftheSouth，thegoldofTibar，andthebalsamofPanchaia！Thenitistheygivealoosetotheirpens，foritcoststhemlittletomakepromisestheyhavenointentionorpoweroffulfilling。ButwhereamIwanderingto？Woeisme，unfortunatebeing！Whatmadnessorfollyleadsmetospeakofthefaultsofothers，whenthereissomuchtobesaidaboutmyown？Again，woeisme，haplessthatIam！itwasnotversesthatconqueredme，butmyownsimplicity；itwasnotmusicmademeyield，butmyownimprudence；
　　myowngreatignoranceandlittlecautionopenedthewayandclearedthepathforDonClavijo'sadvances，forthatwasthenameofthegentlemanIhavereferredto；andso，withmyhelpasgo-between，hefoundhiswaymanyatimeintothechamberofthedeceivedAntonomasiadeceivednotbyhimbutbymeunderthetitleofalawfulhusband；
　　for，sinnerthoughIwas，wouldnothaveallowedhimtoapproachtheedgeofhershoe-solewithoutbeingherhusband。No，no，notthat；
　　marriagemustcomefirstinanybusinessofthissortthatItakeinhand。Buttherewasonehitchinthiscase，whichwasthatofinequalityofrank，DonClavijobeingaprivategentleman，andthePrincessAntonomasia，asIsaid，heiresstothekingdom。Theentanglementremainedforsometimeasecret，kepthiddenbymycunningprecautions，untilIperceivedthatacertainexpansionofwaistinAntonomasiamustbeforelongdiscloseit，thedreadofwhichmadeusalltheretakecounseltogether，anditwasagreedthatbeforethemischiefcametolight，DonClavijoshoulddemandAntonomasiaashiswifebeforetheVicar，invirtueofanagreementtomarryhimmadebytheprincess，anddraftedbymywitinsuchbindingtermsthatthemightofSamsoncouldnothavebrokenit。Thenecessarystepsweretaken；theVicarsawtheagreement，andtookthelady'sconfession；sheconfessedeverythinginfull，andheorderedherintothecustodyofaveryworthyalguacilofthecourt。“
　　“AretherealguacilsofthecourtinKandy，too，“saidSanchoatthis，“andpoets，andseguidillas？IswearIthinktheworldisthesameallover！Butmakehaste，SenoraTrifaldi；foritislate，andIamdyingtoknowtheendofthislongstory。“
　　“Iwill，“repliedthecountess。
　　CHAPTERXXXIX
　　INWHICHTHETRIFALDICONTINUESHERMARVELLOUSANDMEMORABLESTORY
　　BYEVERYwordthatSanchouttered，theduchesswasasmuchdelightedasDonQuixotewasdriventodesperation。Hebadehimholdhistongue，andtheDistressedOnewentontosay：“Atlength，aftermuchquestioningandanswering，astheprincessheldtoherstory，withoutchangingorvaryingherpreviousdeclaration，theVicargavehisdecisioninfavourofDonClavijo，andshewasdeliveredovertohimashislawfulwife；whichtheQueenDonaMaguncia，thePrincessAntonomasia'smother，sotooktoheart，thatwithinthespaceofthreedaysweburiedher。“
　　“Shedied，nodoubt，“saidSancho。
　　“Ofcourse，“saidTrifaldin；“theydon'tburylivingpeopleinKandy，onlythedead。“
　　“SenorSquire，“saidSancho，“amaninaswoonhasbeenknowntobeburiedbeforenow，inthebeliefthathewasdead；anditstruckmethatQueenMagunciaoughttohaveswoonedratherthandied；becausewithlifeagreatmanythingscomeright，andtheprincess'sfollywasnotsogreatthatsheneedfeelitsokeenly。Iftheladyhadmarriedsomepageofhers，orsomeotherservantofthehouse，asmanyanotherhasdone，soIhaveheardsay，thenthemischiefwouldhavebeenpastcuring。Buttomarrysuchanelegantaccomplishedgentlemanashasbeenjustnowdescribedtous-indeed，indeed，thoughitwasafolly，itwasnotsuchagreatoneasyouthink；foraccordingtotherulesofmymasterhere-andhewon'tallowmetolie-asofmenoflettersbishopsaremade，soofgentlemenknights，speciallyiftheybeerrant，kingsandemperorsmaybemade。“
　　“Thouartright，Sancho，“saidDonQuixote，“forwithaknight-errant，ifhehasbuttwofingers'breadthofgoodfortune，itisonthecardstobecomethemightiestlordonearth。ButletsenoratheDistressedOneproceed；forIsuspectshehasgotyettotellusthebitterpartofthissofarsweetstory。“
　　“Thebitterisindeedtocome，“saidthecountess；“andsuchbitterthatcolocynthissweetandoleandertoothsomeincomparison。
　　Thequeen，then，beingdead，andnotinaswoon，weburiedher；andhardlyhadwecoveredherwithearth，hardlyhadwesaidourlastfarewells，when，quistaliafandotemperetalachrymis？overthequeen'sgravethereappeared，mounteduponawoodenhorse，thegiantMalambruno，Maguncia'sfirstcousin，whobesidesbeingcruelisanenchanter；andhe，torevengethedeathofhiscousin，punishtheaudacityofDonClavijo，andinwrathatthecontumacyofAntonomasia，leftthembothenchantedbyhisartonthegraveitself；shebeingchangedintoanapeofbrass，andheintoahorriblecrocodileofsomeunknownmetal；whilebetweenthetwotherestandsapillar，alsoofmetal，withcertaincharactersintheSyriaclanguageinscribeduponit，which，beingtranslatedintoKandian，andnowintoCastilian，containthefollowingsentence：'ThesetworashloversshallnotrecovertheirformershapeuntilthevaliantManchegancomestodobattlewithmeinsinglecombat；fortheFatesreservethisunexampledadventureforhismightyvalouralone。'Thisdone，hedrewfromitssheathahugebroadscimitar，andseizingmebythehairhemadeasthoughhemeanttocutmythroatandshearmyheadcleanoff。Iwasterror-stricken，myvoicestuckinmythroat，andIwasinthedeepestdistress；neverthelessIsummonedupmystrengthaswellasIcould，andinatremblingandpiteousvoiceIaddressedsuchwordstohimasinducedhimtostaytheinflictionofapunishmentsosevere。Hethencausedalltheduennasofthepalace，thosethatareherepresent，tobebroughtbeforehim；andafterhavingdweltupontheenormityofouroffence，anddenouncedduennas，theircharacters，theirevilwaysandworseintrigues，layingtothechargeofallwhatIalonewasguiltyof，hesaidhewouldnotvisituswithcapitalpunishment，butwithothersofaslownaturewhichwouldbeineffectcivildeathforever；andtheveryinstantheceasedspeakingweallfelttheporesofourfacesopening，andprickingus，asifwiththepointsofneedles。Weatonceputourhandsuptoourfacesandfoundourselvesinthestateyounowsee。“
　　HeretheDistressedOneandtheotherduennasraisedtheveilswithwhichtheywerecovered，anddisclosedcountenancesallbristlingwithbeards，somered，someblack，somewhite，andsomegrizzled，atwhichspectaclethedukeandduchessmadeashowofbeingfilledwithwonder。DonQuixoteandSanchowereoverwhelmedwithamazement，andthebystanderslostinastonishment，whiletheTrifaldiwentontosay：“ThusdidthatmalevolentvillainMalambrunopunishus，coveringthetendernessandsoftnessofourfaceswiththeseroughbristles！Wouldtoheaventhathehadsweptoffourheadswithhisenormousscimitarinsteadofobscuringthelightofourcountenanceswiththesewool-combingsthatcoverus！Forifwelookintothematter，sirsandwhatIamnowgoingtosayIwouldsaywitheyesflowinglikefountains，onlythatthethoughtofourmisfortuneandtheoceanstheyhavealreadywept，keepthemasdryasbarleyspears，andsoIsayitwithouttears，where，Iask，canaduennawithabeardtoto？Whatfatherormotherwillfeelpityforher？
　　Whowillhelpher？For，ifevenwhenshehasasmoothskin，andafacetorturedbyathousandkindsofwashesandcosmetics，shecanhardlygetanybodytoloveher，whatwillshedowhensheshowsacountenaceturnedintoathicket？Ohduennas，companionsmine！itwasanunluckymomentwhenwewerebornandanill-starredhourwhenourfathersbegotus！”Andasshesaidthissheshowedsignsofbeingabouttofaint。