And，ifyoudon’tbelieveme，getshikarredyourselfThat’sall。
　　ACODEOFMORALS
　　LestyoushouldthinkthisstorytrueImerelymentionI
　　Evolveditlately’TisamostUnmitigatedmisstatement。
　　NowJoneshadlefthisnew-wedbridetokeephishouseinorder，AndhiedawaytotheHurrumHillsabovetheAfghanborder，Tositonarockwithaheliograph；buterehelefthetaughtHiswifetheworkingoftheCodethatsetsthemilesatnaught。
　　AndLovehadmadehimverysage，asNaturemadeherfair；
　　SoCupidandApollolinked，perheliograph，thepair。
　　Atdawn，acrosstheHurrumHills，heflashedhercounselwise——
　　Ate’en，thedyingsunsetboreherbusband’shomilies。
　　Hewarnedher’gainstseductiveyouthsinscarletcladandgold，Asmuchas’gainsttheblandishmentspaternaloftheold；
　　Butkepthisgravestwarningsforherebythedittyhangs
　　Thatsnowy-hairedLothario，Lieutenant-GeneralBangs。
　　’TwasGeneralBangs，withAideandStaff，whotittuppedontheway，Whentheybeheldaheliographtempestuouslyatplay。
　　TheythoughtofBorderrisings，andofstationssackedandburnt——
　　Sostoppedtotakethemessagedown——andthisiswhaytheylearnt——
　　“Dashdotdot，dot，dotdash，dotdashdot“twiceTheGeneralswore。
　　“WaseverGeneralOfficeraddressedas’dear’before？
　　“’MyLove，’i’faith！’MyDuck，’Gadzooks！’Mydarlingpopsy-wop！’
　　“SpiritofgreatLordWolseley，whoisonthatmountaintop？”
　　TheartlessAide-de-campwasmute；thegildedStaffwerestill，As，dumbwithpent-upmirth，theybookedthatmessagefromthehill；
　　Forclearassummerlightning-flare，thehusband’swarningran：——
　　“Don’tdanceorridewithGeneralBangs——amostimmoralman。”
　　[Atdawn，acrosstheHurrumHills，heflashedhercounselwise——
　　But，howsoeverLovebeblind，theworldatlargehatheyes。]
　　WithdamnatorydotanddashheheliographedhiswifeSomeinterestingdetailsoftheGeneral’sprivatelife。
　　TheartlessAide-de-campwasmute，theshiningStaffwerestill，AndredandeverreddergrewtheGeneral’sshavengill。
　　Andthisiswhathesaidatlasthisfeelingsmatternot：——
　　“Ithinkwe’vetappedaprivatelineHi！Threesaboutthere！Trot！”
　　AllhonouruntoBangs，forne’erdidJonesthereafterknowBywordoractofficialwhoreadoffthathelio。
　　ButthetaleisontheFrontier，andfromMichnitoMooltanTheyknowtheworthyGeneralas“thatmostimmoralman。”
　　THELASTDEPARTMENT
　　TwelvehundredmillionmenarespreadAboutthisEarth，andIandYouWonder，whenYouandIaredead，“Whatwillthoselucklessmillionsdo？”
　　Nonewholeorclean，“wecry，“orfreefromstainOffavour。”Waitawhile，tillweattainTheLastDepartmentwherenorfraudnorfools，Norgradenorgreed，shalltroubleusagain。
　　Fear，Favour，orAffection——whataretheseTothegrimHeadwhoclaimsourservices？
　　IneverknewawifeorinterestyetDelaythatpukkastep，miscalled“decease“；
　　Whenleave，longoverdue，nonecandeny；
　　WhenidlenessofallEternityBecomesourfurlough，andthemarigoldOurthriftless，bullion-mintingTreasuryTransferredtotheEternalSettlement，Eachinhisstrait，wood-scantledofficepent，NolongerBrownreversesSmith’sappeals，OrJonesrecordshisMinuteofDissent。
　　AndOne，longsinceapillaroftheCourt，Asmudbetweenthebeamsthereofiswrought；
　　AndOnewhowroteonphosphatesforthecropsIssubject-matterofhisownReport。
　　Thesebethegloriousendswheretowepass——
　　LetHimwhoIs，gocallonHimwhoWas；
　　AndHeshallseethemalliestealstheslabForcurrie-grinder，andforgoatsthegrass。
　　Abreathofwind，aBorderbullet’sflight，Adraughtofwater，orahorse’sfirght——
　　ThedroningofthefatSheristadarCeases，thepunkahstops，andfallsthenightForyouorMeDothosewholivedeclineThestepthatoffers，ortheirworkresign？
　　Trustme，To-day’sMostIndispensables，Fivehundredmencantakeyourplaceormine。
　　OTHERVERSES
　　RECESSIONAL
　　AVictorianOde
　　Godofourfathers，knownofold——
　　Lordofourfar-flungbattleline——
　　BeneathwhoseawfulhandweholdDominionoverpalmandpine——
　　LordGodofHosts，bewithusyet，Lestweforget——lestweforget！
　　Thetumultandtheshoutingdies——
　　TheCaptainsandtheKingsdepart——
　　StillstandsThineancientsacrifice，Anhumbleandacontriteheart。
　　LordGodofHosts，bewithusyet，Lestweforget——lestweforget！
　　Far-calledournaviesmeltaway——
　　Onduneandheadlandsinksthefire——
　　Lo，allourpompofyesterdayIsonewithNinevehandTyre！
　　JudgeoftheNations，spareusyet，Lestweforget——lestweforget！
　　If，drunkwithsightofpower，welooseWildtonguesthathavenotTheeinawe——
　　SuchboastingsastheGentilesuse，OrlesserbreedswithouttheLaw——
　　LordGodofHosts，bewithusyet，Lestweforget——lestweforget！
　　ForheathenheartthatputshertrustInreekingtubeandironshard——
　　Allvaliantdustthatbuildsondust，AndguardingcallsnotTheetoguard。
　　Forfranticboastandfoolishword，ThyMercyonThyPeople，Lord！
　　Amen。
　　THEVAMPIRE
　　Theverses——assuggestedbythepaintingbyPhilipBurneJones，firstexhibitedatthenewgalleryinLondonin1897。
　　AfooltherewasandhemadhisprayerEvenasyouandI！
　　ToaragandaboneandahankofhairWecalledherthewomanwhodidnotcare，ButthefoolhecalledherhisladyfairEvenasyouandI！
　　OhtheyearswewasteandthetearswewasteAndtheworkofourheadandhand，BelongtothewomanwhodidnotknowAndnowweknowthatshenevercouldknow
　　Anddidnotunderstand。
　　AfooltherewasandhisgoodshespentEvenasyouandI！
　　HonorandfaithandasureintentButafoolmustfollowhisnaturalbentAnditwasn’ttheleastwhattheladymeant，EvenasyouandI！
　　OhthetoilwelostandthespoilwelostAndtheexcellentthingsweplanned，Belongtothewomanwhodidn’tknowwhyAndnowweknowsheneverknewwhy
　　Anddidnotunderstand。
　　ThefoolwestrippedtohisfoolishhideEvenasyouandI！
　　Whichshemighthaveseenwhenshethrewhimaside——
　　Butitisn’tonrecordtheladytried
　　Sosomeofhimlivedbutthemostofhimdied——
　　EvenasyouandI！
　　Anditisn’ttheshameanditisn’ttheblameThatstingslikeawhitehotbrand。
　　It’scomingtoknowthatsheneverknewwhySeeingatlastshecouldneverknowwhy
　　Andnevercouldunderstand。
　　TOTHEUNKNOWNGODDESS
　　Willyouconquermyheartwithyourbeauty；mysouldgoingoutfromafar？
　　ShallIfalltoyourhandasavictimofcraftyandcautionsshikar？
　　HaveImetyouandpassedyoualready，unknowing，unthinkingandblind？
　　ShallImeetyounextsessionatSimla，Osweetestandbestofyourkind？
　　DoesthePandObearyoutomeward，or，cladinshortfrocksintheWest，Areyougrowingthecharmsthatshallcaptureandtorturetheheartinmybreast？
　　WillyoustayinthePlainstillSeptember——mypassionaswarmastheday？
　　WillyoubringmetobookontheMountains，orwherethethermantidotesplay？
　　WhenthelightofyoureyesshallmakepallidthemeanlesserlightsIpursue，Andthecharmofyourpresenceshallluremefromloveofthegay“thirteen-two“；
　　Whenthepegandthepig-skinshallpleasenot；whenIbuymeCalcutta-buildclothes；
　　WhenIquittheDelightofWildAsses；foreswearingtheswearingofoaths；
　　AsadeertothehandofthehunterwhenIturn’midthegibesofmyfriends；
　　Whenthedaysofmyfreedomarenumbered，andthelifeofthebachelorends。
　　Ah，Goddess！child，spinster，orwidow——asofoldonMarsHillwheytheyraisedTotheGodthattheyknewnotanaltar——soI，ayoungPagan，havepraisedTheGoddessIknownotnorworship；yet，ifhalfthatmentellmebetrue，Youwillcomeinthefuture，andthereforetheseversesarewrittentoyou。
　　TheRupaiyatofOmarKal’vin[Allowingforthedifference’twixtproseandrhymedexaggeration，thisoughttoreproducethesenseofwhatSirA——toldthenationsometimeago，whentheGovernmentstruckfromourincomestwopercent。]
　　NowtheNewYear，revivinglastYear’sDebt，TheThoughtfulFishercastethwidehisNet；
　　SoIwithbeggingDishandreadyTongueAssailallMenforallthatIcanget。
　　ImportsindeedaregonewithalltheirDues——
　　Lo！SaltaLeverthatIdarenotuse，NormayIasktheTillersinBengal——
　　SurelymyKithandKinwillnotrefuse！
　　Pay——andIpromisebytheDustofSpring，RetrenchmentIfmypromisescanbringComfort，YehaveThemnowathousandfold——
　　ByAllah！IwillpromiseAnything！
　　Indeed，indeed，RetrenchmentoftbeforeIsore——butdidImeanitwhenIswore？
　　Andthen，andthen，WewanderedtotheHills，AndsotheLittleLessbecameMuchMore。
　　WhetheraBoileaugungeorBabylon，IknownothowthewretchedThingisdone，TheItemsofReceiptgrowsurelysmall；
　　TheItemsofExpensemountonebyone。
　　IcannothelpitWhathaveItodoWithOneandFive，orFour，orThree，orTwo？
　　LetScribesspitBloodandSulphurastheyplease，OrStatesmencallmefoolish——Heednotyou。
　　Behold，Ipromise——AnythingYouwill。
　　Behold，IgreetyouwithanemptyTill——
　　Ah！Fellow-Sinners，ofyourCharitySeeknottheReasonoftheDearth，butfill。
　　ForifIsinnedandfell，whereliestheGainOfKnowledge？WoulditeaseyouofyourPainToknowthetangledThreadsofRevenue，IraveldeeperinahopelessSkein？
　　“WhohathnotPrudence“——whatwasitIsaid，OfHerwhopaintsherEyesandtiresHerHead，AndgibesandmocksandPeopleintheStreet，AndfawnsuponthemforHerthriftlessBread？
　　AccursedisSheofEve’sdaughters——SheHathcastoffPrudence，andHerEndshallbeDestructionBrethren，ofyourBountySomeportionofyourdailyBreadtoMe。
　　LANUITBLANCHE
　　Amuch-discerningPublicholdTheSingergenerallysingsAndprintsandsellshispastforgold。
　　WhateverImayheredisclaim，TheverycleverfolkIsingtoWillmostindubitablyclingtoTheirpetdelusion，justthesame。
　　Ihadseen，asthedawnwasbreakingAndIstaggeredtomyrest，TariDevisoftlyshakingFromtheCartRoadtothecrest。
　　IhadseenthespursofJakkoHeaveandquiver，swellandsink。
　　WasitEarthquakeortobacco，DayofDoom，orNightofDrink？
　　Inthefull，freshfragrantmorningIobservedacamelcrawl，Lawsofgravitationscorning，Ontheceilingandthewall；
　　ThenIwatchedafenderwalking，AndIheardgreyleechessing，Andared-hotmonkeytalkingDidnotseemtheproperthing。
　　ThenaCreature，skinnedandcrimson，Ranaboutthefloorandcried，AndtheysaidthatIhadthe“jims“on，Andtheydosedmewithbromide，Andtheylockedmeinmybedroom