Resident-Engineer，Boughtlikeabullock，hoofandhide，BytheLittleTinGodsontheMountainSide。
　　BytheLawsoftheFamilyCircle’tiswritteninlettersofbrassThatonlyaColonelfromChathamcanmanagetheRailwaysofState，Becauseofthegoldonhisbreeks，andthesubjectswhereinhemustpass；
　　BecauseinallmattersthatdealnotwithRailwayshisknowledgeisgreat。
　　NowExeterBattlebyTringhadlabouredfromboyhoodtoeldOntheLinesoftheEastandtheWest，andekeoftheNorthandSouth；
　　ManyLineshadhebuiltandsurveyed——importantthepostswhichheheld；
　　AndtheLordsoftheIronHorseweredumbwhenheopenedhismouth。
　　Blackastheravenhisgarb，andhisheresiesjettierstill——
　　HintingthatRailwaysrequiredlifetimesofstudyandknowledge——
　　Neverclankedswordbyhisside——Vaubanheknewnotnordrill——
　　Norwashisnameonthelistofthemenwhohadpassedthroughthe“College。”
　　WhereforetheLittleTinGodsharriedtheirlittletinsouls，SeeinghecamenotfromChatham，jinglednospursathisheels，Knowingthat，nevertheless，washefirstontheGovernmentrollsForthebilletof“RailwayInstructortoLittleTinGodsonWheels。”
　　Lettersnotseldomtheywrotehim，“havingthehonourtostate。”
　　Itwouldbebetterforallmenifhewerelaidontheshelf。
　　Muchwouldaccruetohisbank-book，anheconsentedtowaitUntiltheLittleTinGodsbuilthimaberthforhimself，“Special，wellpaid，andexemptfromtheLawoftheFiftyandFive，EventoNinetyandNine“——thesewerethetermsofthepact：
　　ThusdidtheLittleTinGodslonmayTheirHighnessesthrive！
　　Silencehismouthwithrupees，keepingtheirCircleintact；
　　AppointingaColonelfromChathamwhomanagedtheBhamoStateLineThewichwasonmileandonefurlong——aguaranteedtwenty-inchgauge，SoExeterBattlebyTringconsentedhisclaimstoresign，Anddied，onfourthousandamonth，intheninetiethyearofhisage！
　　DELILAH
　　Wehaveanotherviceroynow，——thosedaysaredeadanddoneOfDelilahAberyswithanddepravedUlyssesGunne。
　　DelilahAberyswithwasalady——nottooyoung——
　　Withaperfecttasteindressesandabadly-bittedtongue，Withathirstforinformation，andagreaterthirstforpraise，AndalittlehouseinSimlainthePrehistoricDays。
　　Byreasonofhermarriagetoagentlemaninpower，Delilahwasacquaintedwiththegossipofthehour；
　　Andmanylittlesecrets，ofthehalf-officialkind，WerewhisperedtoDelilah，andsheborethemallinmind。
　　Shepatronizedextensivelyaman，UlyssesGunne，Whosemodeofearningmoneywasalowandshamefulone。
　　Hewroteforcertainpapers，which，aseverybodyknows，Isworsethanservinginashoporscaringoffthecrows。
　　Hepraisedher“queenlybeauty“first；and，lateron，hehintedAtthe“vastnessofherintellect“withcomplimentunstinted。
　　Hewentwithhera-riding，andhisloveforherwassuchThathelentherallhishorsesand——shegalledthemverymuch。
　　Oneday，THEYbrewedasecretofafinefinancialsort；
　　ItrelatedtoAppointments，toaManandaReport。
　　’Twasalmostwortththekeeping，——onlysevenpeopleknewit——
　　AndGunneroseuptoseekthetruthandpatientlyensueit。
　　ItwasaViceroy’sSecret，but——perhapsthewinewasred——
　　PerhapsanAgedConcillorhadlosthisagedhead——
　　PerhapsDelilah’seyeswerebright——Delilah’swhisperssweet——
　　TheAgedMembertoldherwhat’tweretreasontorepeat。
　　Ulysseswenta-riding，andtheytalkedofloveandflowers；
　　Ulysseswenta-calling，andhecalledforseveralhours；
　　Ulysseswenta-waltzing，andDelilahhelpedhimdance——
　　Ulyssesletthewaltzesgo，andwaitedforhischance。
　　Thesummersunwassetting，andthesummerairwasstill，Thecouplewenta-walkingintheshadeofSummerHill。
　　Thewastefulsunsetfadedoutinturkis-greenandgold，Ulyssespleadedsoftly，andthatbadDelilahtold！
　　Nextmorn，astartledEmpirelearnttheall-importantnews；
　　Nextweek，theAgedCouncillorwasshakinginhisshoes。
　　Nextmonth，ImetDelilahandshedidnotshowtheleastHesitationinaffirmingthatUlysseswasa“beast。”
　　*
　　WehaveanotherViceroynow，thosedaysaredeadanddone——
　　Off，DelilahAberyswithandmostmeanUlyssesGunne！
　　WHATHAPPENED
　　HurreeChunderMookerjee，prideofBowBazaar，Ownerofanativepress，“Barrishter-at-Lar。”
　　WaitedontheGovernmentwithaclaimtowearSabresbythebucketful，riflesbythepair。
　　ThentheIndianGovernmentwinkedawickedwink，SaidtoChunderMookerjee：“Sticktopenandink。
　　Theyaresaferimplements，but，ifyouinsist，Wewillletyoucarryarmswheresoe’eryoulist。”
　　HurreeChunderMookerjeesoughtthegunsmithandBoughtthetubesofLancaster，Ballard，Dean，andBland，Boughtashinybowie-knife，boughtatown-madesword，Jingledlikeacarriage-horsewhenhewentabroad。
　　ButtheIndianGovernment，alwayskeentoplease，Alsogavepermissiontohorridmenlikethese——
　　YarMahommedYusufzai，downtokillorsteal，ChimbuSinghfromBikaneer，TantiatheBhil；
　　KillarKhantheMarrichief，JowarSinghtheSikh，NubbeeBakshPunjabiJat，AbdulHuqRafiq——
　　HewasaWahabi；last，littleBohHla-ooTookadvantageoftheAct——tookaSnidertoo。
　　Theywereunenlightenedmen，Ballardknewthemnot。
　　Theyprocuredtheirswordsandgunschieflyonthespot；
　　Andtheloreofcenturies，plusahundredfights，Madethemslowtodisregardoneanother’srights。
　　WithaunanimitydeartopatriotheartsAllthosehairygentlemenoutofforeignpartsSaid：“Thegoodolddaysareback——letusgotowar！”
　　SwaggereddowntheGrandTrunkRoadintoBowBazaar，NubbeeBakshPunjabiJatfoundahide-boundflail；
　　ChimbuSinghfromBikaneeroiledhisTonkjezail；
　　YarMahommedYusufzaispatandgrinnedwithgleeAshegroundthebutcher-knifeoftheKhyberee。
　　JowarSinghtheSikhprocuredsabre，quoit，andmace，AbdulHuq，Wahabi，jerkedhisdaggerfromitsplace，Whileamidthejungle-grassdancedandgrinnedandjabberedLittleBohHla-ooandclearedhisdah-bladefromthescabbard。
　　WhatbecameofMookerjee？Smoothly，whocansay？
　　YarMahommedonlygrinsinanastyway，JowarSinghisreticent，ChimbuSinghismute。
　　Butthebeltsofallofthemsimplybulgewithloot。
　　WhatbecameofBallard’sguns？AfghansblackandgrubbySellthemfortheirsilverweighttothemenofPubbi；
　　Andtheshinybowie-knifeandthetown-madeswordareHanginginaMarricampjustacrosstheBorder。
　　WhatbecameofMookerjee？AskMahommedYarProddingSiva’ssacredbulldowntheBowBazaar。
　　SpeaktoplacidNubbeeBaksh——questionlandandsea——
　　AsktheIndianCongressmen——onlydon’taskme！
　　PINKDOMINOES
　　Theyarefoolswhokissandtell“——
　　Wiselyhasthepoetsung。
　　ManmayholdallsortsofpostsIfhe’llonlyholdhistongue。
　　JennyandMewereengaged，yousee，OntheeveoftheFancyBall；
　　SoakissortwowasnothingtoyouOranyoneelseatall。
　　Mennywouldgoinadomino——
　　Prettyandpinkbutwarm；
　　WhileIattended，cladinasplendidAustrianuniform。
　　Nowwehadarranged，throughnotesexchangedEarlythatafternoon，AtNumberFourtowaltznomore，Buttositintheduskandspoon。
　　IwithyoutoseethatJennyandMeHadbarelyexchangedourtroth；
　　SoakissortwowasstrictlydueBy，from，andbetweenusboth。
　　WhenThreewasover，aneagerlover，Ifledtothegloomoutside；
　　AndaDominocameoutalsoWhomItookformyfuturebride。
　　Thatistosay，inacasualway，Islippedmyarmaroundher；
　　Withakissortwowhichisnothingtoyou，AndreadytokissIfoundher。
　　SheturnedherheadandthenameshesaidWascertainlynotmyown；
　　ButereIcouldspeak，withasmotheredshriekShefledandleftmealone。
　　ThenJennycame，andIsawwithshameShe’ddoffedherdomino；
　　AndIhadembracedanalienwaist——
　　ButIdidnottellherso。
　　NextmornIknewthatthereweretwoDominoespink，andoneHadcloakedthespouseofSirJulianVouse，OurbigPoliticalgun。
　　SirJwasold，andherhairwasgold，Andhereyewasabluecerulean；
　　AndthenameshesaidwhensheturnedherheadWasnotintheleastlike“Julian。”
　　THEMANWHOCOULDWRITE
　　Shun——shuntheBowl！Thatfatal，faciledrinkHasruinedmanygeesewhodippedtheirquillsin’t；
　　Bribe，murder，marry，butsteerclearofInkSavewhenyouwritereceiptsforpaid-upbillsin’t。
　　Theremaybesilverinthe“blue-black“——allIknowofistheironandthegall。
　　BoanergesBlitzen，servantoftheQueen，Isadismalfailure——isaMight-have-been。
　　InalucklessmomenthediscoveredmenRisetohighpositionthroughareadypen。
　　BoanergesBlitzenarguedtherefore——“I，Withtheselfsameweapon，canattainashigh。”
　　Onlyhedidnotpossesswhenhemadethetrial，WickedwitofC-lv-n，ironyofL——l。
　　[MenwhosparwithGovernmentneed，tobacktheirblows，Somethingmorethanordinaryjournalisticprose。]
　　NeveryoungCivilian’sprospectsweresobright，TillanIndianpaperfoundthathecouldwrite：
　　NeveryoungCivilian’sprospectsweresodark，WhenthewretchedBlitzenwrotetomakehismark。
　　Certainlyhescoredit，bold，andblack，andfirm，InthatIndianpaper——madehisseniorssquirm，Quatedofficescandals，wrotethetactlesstruth——
　　Wasthereeverknownamoremisguidedyouth？
　　WhentheRaghewroteforpraisedhispluckygame，BoanergesBlitzenfeltthatthiswasFame；
　　Whenthemenhewroteofshooktheirheadsandswore，BoanergesBlitzenonlywrotethemore：
　　PosedasYoungIthuriel，resoluteandgrim，Tillhefoundpromotiondidn’tcometohim；
　　Tillhefoundthatreprimandsweeklywerehislot，AndhismanyDistrictscuriouslyhot。
　　Tillhefoundhisfurloughstrangelyhardtowin，BoanergesBlitzendidn’tcaretopin：
　　Thenitseemedtodawnonhimsomethingwasn’tright——
　　BoanergesBlitzenputitdownto“spite“；
　　LanguishedinaDistrictdesolateanddry；
　　WatchedtheLocalGovernmentyearlypasshimby；
　　Wonderedwherethehitchwas；calleditmostunfair。
　　*
　　Thatwassevenyearsago——andhestillisthere！
　　MUNICIPAL
　　“WhyismyDistrictdeath-ratelow？”
　　SaidBinksofHezabad。
　　“Well，drains，andsewage-outfallsare“Myownpeculiarfad。
　　“Ilearntalessononce，Itran“Thus。”quoththatmostveraciousman：——
　　ItwasanAugusteveningand，insnowygarmentsclad，IpaidaroundofvisitsinthelinesofHezabad；
　　When，presently，myWalersaw，anddidnotlikeatall，ACommissariatelephantcareeringdowntheMall。
　　Icouldn’tseehedriver，andacrossmyminditrushedThatthatCommissariatelephanthadsuddenlygonemusth。
　　Ididn’tcaretomeethim，andIcouldn’twellgetdown，SoIlettheWalerhaveit，andweheadedforthetown。
　　Thebuggywasanewoneand，praiseDykes，itstoodthestrain，TillheWalerjumpedabullockjustabovetheCityDrain；
　　AndthenextthatIrememberwasahurricaneofsqueals，Andthecreaturemakingtoothpicksofmyfive-footpatentwheels。
　　Heseemedtowanttheowner，soIfled，distraughtwithfear，TotheMainDrainsewage-outfallwhilehesnortedinmyear——
　　Reachedthefour-footdrain-headsafelyand，indarknessanddespair，Feltthebrute’sproboscisfingeringmyterror-stiffenedhair。
　　Heardittrumpetonmyshoulder——triedtocrawlalittlehigher——
　　FoundtheMainDrainsewageoutfallblocked，someeightfeetup，withmire；
　　And，fortwentyreekingminutes，Sir，myverymarrowfroze，Whilethetrunkwasfeelingblindlyforapurchaseonmytoes！
　　Itmissedmebyafraction，butmyhairwasturninggreyBeforetheycalledthedriversupanddraggedthebruteaway。
　　ThenIsoughttheCityElders，andmywordswereveryplain。
　　Theyflushedthatfour-footdrain-headand——itneverchokedagain！
　　Youmayholdwithsurface-drainage，andthesun-for-garbagecure，Tillyou’vebeenaperiwinkleshrinkingcoylyupasewer。
　　Ibelieveinwell-flushedculverts。
　　Thisiswhythedeath-rate’ssmall；