saidMrsMallowe“Hewillbeasufficientpunishmentforher。
Whatacommonvoiceshehas！”
MrsDelville’svoicewasnotpretty，hercarriagewasevenlesslovely，andherraimentwasstrikinglyneglectedAllthesethingsMrsMallowenoticedoverthetopofamagazine。
“Nowwhatisthereinher？”saidMrsHauksbee“DoyouseewhatImeantabouttheclothesfallingoff？IfIwereamanIwouldperishsoonerthanbeseenwiththatrag-bagAndyet，shehasgoodeyes，but~h！”
“Whatisit？”
“Shedoesn’tknowhowtousethem！OnmyHonor，shedoesnot。
Look！Ohlook！UntidinessI
canendure，butignorancenever！Thewoman’safool。”
“Hsh！She’llhearyou。”
“AllthewomeninSimlaarefoolsShe’llthinkImeansomeoneelseNowshe’sgoingoutWhatathoroughlyobjectionablecouplesheandTheDancingMastermake！WhichremindsmeDoyousupposethey’lleverdancetogether？”
“WaitandseeIdon’tenvyhertheconversationofTheDancingMaster-loathlyman！Hiswifeoughttobeupherebeforelong。”
“Doyouknowanythingabouthim？”
“OnlywhathetoldmeItmaybea11afictionHemarriedagirlbredinthecountry，Ithink，and，beinganhonorable，chivalroussoul，toldmethatherepentedhisbargainandsenthertohermotherasoftenaspossibl~apersonwhohaslivedintheDoonsincethememoryofmanandgoestoMussooriewhenotherpeoplegoHomeThewifeiswithheratpresentSohesays。”
’~Babies？’~
“Oneonly，buthetalksofhiswifeinarevoltingwayIhatedhimforitHethoughthewasbeingepigrammaticandbrilliant。”
“ThatisavicepeculiartomenIdislikehimbecauseheisgenerallyinthewakeofsomegirl，disappointingtheEligiblesHewillpersecuteMayHoltnomore，unlessIammuchmistaken。”
“NoIthinkMrsDelvillemayoccupyhisattentionforawhile。”
“Doyousupposesheknowsthatheistheheadofafamily？”
“NotfromhislipsHesworemetoeternalsecrecyWhereforeI
tellyouDon’tyouknowthattypeofman？”
“Notintimately，thankgoodness！Asageneralrule，whenamanbeginstoabusehiswifetome，IfindthattheLordgivesmewherewithtoanswerhimaccordingtohisfolly；andwepartwithacoolnessbetweenusIlaugh。”
“I’mdifferentI’venosenseofhumor。”
“Cultivateit，thenIthasbeenmymainstayformoreyearsthanI
caretothinkaboutA
well-educatedsenseofHumorwillsaveawomanwhenReligion，Training，andHomeinfluencesfail；andwemayallneedsalvationsometimes。”
“DoyousupposethattheDelvillewomanhashumor？”
“HerdressbewraysherHowcanaThingwhowearsasupplementunderherleftarmhaveanynotionofthefitnessofthings-muchlesstheirfolly？IfshediscardsTheDancingMaste！afterhavingonceseenhimdance，ImayrespectherOtherwise“
“Butarewenotbothassumingagreatdealtoomuch，dear？YousawthewomanatPeliti’s-halfanhour214
WORKSOFRUDYARDKIPLING
SHEDoinglittle，sayingless，andthinkingagreatdealI’vehardlybeenoutatall。
HaThatwaswrongofyouYouhaven’tbeenmoping？
SHENotverymuchCanyouwonderthatI’mdisinclinedforamuse-ment？
HEFrankly，IdoWherewasthedifficulty？
SHEInthisonlyThemorepeople1knowandthemoreI’mknownhere，thewiderspreadwillbethenewsofthecrashwhenitcomesIdon’tlikethat。
HENonsenseWeshallbeoutofit。
SHEYouthinkso？
HEI’msureofit，ifthereisanypowerinsteamorhorse-fleshtocarryusawayHa！ha！
SiraAndthefunofthesituationcomesin-where，myLarcelot？
liaNowhere，GuinevereIwasonlythinkingofsomething。
SHETheysaymenhaveakeenersenseofhumorthanwomen。
NowIwasthinkingofthescandal。
HEDon’tthinkofanythingsouglyWeshallbebeyondit。
SHEItwillbethereallthesame-~themouthsofSimla-telegraphedoverIndia，andtalkedofatthedinners-andwhenHegoesouttheywillstareatHimandseehowHetakesitAndweshallbedead，Guydear-deadandcastintotheouterdarknesswherethereis-HE。
LoveatleastIsn’tthatenough？
SHEIhavesaidso。
HEAndyouthinksostill？
SHEWhatdoyouthink？
HaWhathaveIdone？Itmeansqua]ruintome，astheworldreckonsit~outcasting，thelossofmyappointment，thebreakingofmylife’sworkIpaymyprice。
SHEAndareyousomuchabovetheworldthatyoucanaffordtopayit？AmI？
HaMyDivinity-whatelse？
SHEAveryordinarywomanI’niafraid，but，sofar，respectable。
How’dyoudo，Mrs。
Middleditch？Yourhusband？Ithinkhe’sridingdowntoAnnandalewithColonelStattersYes，isn’titdivineaftertherain？-Guy，howlongamItobeallowedtohowtoMrsMiddleditch？Tillthe17th？
HEFrowsyScotchwoman？Whatistheuseofbringingherintothediscussion？Youweresaying？
SHENothingHaveyoueverseenamanhanged？
HEYesOnce。
SHEWhatwasitfor？
HEMurder，ofcourse。
SHEMurderIsthatsogreatasinafterall？Iwonderhowhefeltbeforethedropfell。
HEIdon’tthinkhefeltmuchWhatagruesomelittlewomanitisthisevening！You’reshiveringPutonyouicape，dear。
SHEIthinkIwillOh！LookatthemistcomingoverSaniaoli；
andIthoughtweshouldhavesunshineontheLadies’Mile！Let’sturnback。
HEWhat’sthegood？There’sacloudonElysiumHill，andthatmeansit’sfoggyalldowntheMallWe’llgoon。
It’llblowawaybeforewegettotheConvent，perhaps’Jove！Itischilly。
SHEYoufeelit，freshfrombelowPutonyourulsterWhatdoyouthinkofmyca~e？
ASECOND-RATEWOMAN
221
tookmoreexerciseandamoreintelligentinterestinyourneighborsyouwould“-“BeasmuchlovedasMrsHauksbeeYou’readarlinginmanywaysandIlikeyou-youarenotawoman’swoman-butwhydoyoutroubleyour-selfaboutmerehumanbeings？”
“Becauseintheabsenceofangels，whoIamsurewouldbehorriblydull，menandwomenarethemostfascinatingthingsinthewholewideworld，lazyoneI
aminterestedinTheDowd-IaminterestedinTheDancingMaster-IaminterestedintheHawleyBoy-andIaminterestedinyou。”
“WhycouplemewiththeHawleyBoy？Heisyourproperty。”
“Yes，andinhisownguilelessspeech，I’mmakingagoodthingoutofhimWhenheisslightlymorereformed，andhaspassedhisHigherStandard，orwhatevertheauthoritiesthinkfittoexactfromhim，Ishallselectaprettylittlegirl，theHoltgirl，Ithink，and“-hereshewavedherhandsairily-“’whomMrsHauksbeehathjoinedtogetherletnomanputasunder。’That’sall。”
“AndwhenyouhaveyokedMayHoltwiththemostnotoriousdetrimentalinSimla，andearnedtheundyinghatredofMammaHolt，whatwillyoudowithme，DispenseroftheDestiniesoftheUniverse？”
MrsHauksbeedroppedintoalowchairinfrontofthefire，and，chininhand，gazedlongandsteadfastlyatMrsMallowe。
“Idonotknow。”shesaid，shakingherhead，“whatIshalldowithyou，dearIt’sobviouslyimpossibletomarryyoutosomeoneelse-yourhusbandwouldobjectandtheexperimentmightnotbesuccessfulafterallIthinkIshallbeginbypreventingyoufrom-whatisit？-
’sleepingonale-housebenchesandsnoringinthesun。’“
“Don’t！Idon’tlikeyourquotationsTheyaresorudeGototheLibraryandbringmenewbooks。”
“Whileyousleep？NolIfyoudon’tcomewithme，Ishallspreadyournewestfrockonmy’rickshaw-bow，andwhenanyoneasksmewhatIamdoing，IshallsaythatIamgoingtoPhelps’stogetitletoutIshalltakecarethatMrsMacNamaraseesmePutyourthingson，there’sagoodgirl。”
MrsMallowegroanedandobeyed，andthetwowentofftotheLibrary，wheretheyfoundMrs。
DelvilleandthemanwhowentbythenicknameofTheDancingMasterBythattimeMrsMallowewasawakeandeloquent。
“ThatistheCreature！”saidMrsHauksbee，withtheairofonepointingoutaslugintheroad。
“No。”saidMrsMallowe“ThemanistheCreatureUgh！
Good-evening，MrBentIthoughtyouwerecomingtoteathisevening。”
“Surelyitwasforto-morrow，wasitnot？”answeredTheDancingMaster“IunderstoodI
fancied。
I’msosorryHowveryunfortunate！”-
ButMrsMallowehadpassadon。
“Forthepracticedequivocatoryousaidhewas。”murmuredMrs。
Hauksbee，“hestrikesmeasafailureNowwhereforeshouldhehavepreferredawalkwithTheDowdtoteawithus？Electiveaffinities，Isuppose-bothgrubbyPolly，I’dneverforgivethatwomanaslongastheworldrolls。”
“Iforgiveeverywomaneve’-ything。”
HENeveraskamanhisopinionofawoman’sdresswhenheisdesperatelyandabjectlyinlovewiththewearerLetme~ookLikeeverythingelseofyoursit’sperfectWheredidyougetitfrom？
SHEHegaveitme，onWednesday-ourwedding-day，youknow。
HETheDeuceHedid！He’sgrowinggenerousinhisoldage。
D’youlikeallthatfrilly，bunchystuffatthethroat？Idon’t。
SHEDon’tyou？
KindSir，0’yourcourtesy，Asyougobythetown，Sir，’Prayyou0’yourloveforme，Buymearussetgown，Sir。
HEIwon’tsay：“Keekintothedraw-well，Janet，Janet。”Onlywaitalittle，darling，andyoushallbestockedwithrussetgownsandeverythingelse。
SHEAndwhenthefrockswearout，you’llgetmenewones-andeverythingelse？
HEAssuredly。
SHEIwonder！
HELookhere，Sweetheart，Ididn’tspendtwodaysandtwonightsinthetraintohearyouwonderIthoughtwe’dsettledallthatatShaifazebat。
SHEdreamilyAtShaifazehat？DoestheStationgoonstill？
ThatwasagesandagesagoItmustbecrumblingtopiecesAllexcepttheAmirtollahkutcharoadIdon’tbelievetha~couldcrumbletilltheDayofJudgment。
HaYouthinkso？Whatisthemoodnow？
SHEIcan’ttellHowcolditis！T渢usgeton~uickly。
HaBetterwalkalittleStopyourjkampa“isandgetoutWhat’sthematterwithyouthisevening，dear？
SHENothingYoumustgrowaccustomedtomywaysIfI’mboringyouIcangohomeHere’sCa~tamCongletoncoming，Idaresayhe’llbewillingtoescortme。
HaGoose！Betweenus，too！DamnCaptainCongleton！
SHEChivalrousKnightIsityourhabittoswearmuchintalking？
Itjarsalittle，andyoumightswearatme。
HaMyangel！Ididn’tknowwhatIwassaying；andyouchangedsoquicklythatIcouldn’tfollowI’llapologizeindustandashes。
SHEThere’llbeenoughofthoselateron-Good-night，CaptainCongletonGoingtothesinging-quadrillesalready？WhatdancesamIgivingyounextweek？No！YoumusthavewrittenthemdownwrongFiveandSeven，IsaidIfyou’vemadeamistake，Icertainlydon’tintendtosufferforitYoumustalteryourprogramme。
HaIthoughtyoutoldmethatyoubadnotbeengoingoutmuchthisseason？
SHEQuitetrue，butwhenIdoIdancewithCaptainCongleton。
Hedancesverynicely。
HEAndsitoutwithhim，Isuppose？
SHEYesHaveyouanyobjection？ShallIstandunderthechandelierinfuture？
HEWhatdoeshetalktoyouabout？SHEWhatdomentalkaboutwhentheysitout？
HaUgh！Don’t！WellnowI’mup，youmustdispensewiththefascinatingCongletonforawhile。
Idon’tlikelaim。