ItwouldhavebeencheaperforPeythroppetohaveassaultedaCommissionerwithadog-whip，ortohaveburnedtherecordsofaDeputyCommissioner’sOffice，thantohavecontractedanalliancewiththeCastriesItwouldhaveweightedhisafter-careerless——
　　evenunderaGovernmentwhichneverforgetsandNEVER
　　forgives。
　　EverybodysawthisbutPeythroppeHewasgoingtomarryMissCastries，hewas——beingofageanddrawingagoodincome——andwoebetidethehousethatwouldnotafterwardsreceiveMrsVirginieSaulezPeythroppewiththedeferenceduetoherhusband’srank。
　　ThatwasPeythroppe’sultimatum，andanyremonstrancedrovehimfrantic。
　　ThesesuddenmadnessesmostafflictthesanestmenTherewasacaseonce——butIwilltellyouofthatlateronYoucannotaccountforthemania，exceptunderatheorydirectlycontradictingtheoneaboutthePlacewhereinmarriagesaremadePeythroppewasburninglyanxioustoputamillstoneroundhisneckattheoutsetofhiscareerandargumenthadnottheleasteffectonhimHewasgoingtomarryMissCastries，andthebusinesswashisownbusiness。
　　HewouldthankyoutokeepyouradvicetoyourselfWithamaninthiscondition，merewordsonlyfixhiminhispurposeOfcoursehecannotseethatmarriageoutheredoesnotconcerntheindividualbuttheGovernmentheserves。
　　DoyourememberMrsHauksbee——themostwonderfulwomaninIndia？
　　ShesavedPlufflesfromMrsReiver，wonTarrionhisappointmentintheForeignOffice，andwasdefeatedinopenfieldbyMrsCusack-
　　BremmilSheheardofthelamentableconditionofPeythroppe，andherbrainstruckouttheplanthatsavedhimShehadthewisdomoftheSerpent，thelogicalcoherenceoftheMan，thefearlessnessoftheChild，andthetripleintuitionoftheWomanNever——no，never——
　　aslongasatongabucketsdowntheSolondip，orthecouplesgoa-
　　ridingatthebackofSummerHill，willtherebesuchageniusasMrsHauksbeeSheattendedtheconsultationofThreeMenonPeythroppe’scase；andshestoodupwiththelashofherriding-whipbetweenherlipsandspake……
　　Threeweekslater，PeythroppedinedwiththeThreeMen，andtheGazetteofIndiacameinPeythroppefoundtohissurprisethathehadbeengazettedamonth’sleaveDon’taskmehowthiswasmanagedIbelievefirmlythatifMrsHauksbeegavetheorder，thewholeGreatIndianAdministrationwouldstandonitshead。
　　TheThreeMenhadalsoamonth’sleaveeachPeythroppeputtheGazettedownandsaidbadwordsThentherecamefromthecompoundthesoft“pad-pad“ofcamels——“thieves’camels。”thebikaneerbreedthatdon’tbubbleandhowlwhentheysitdownandgetup。
　　AfterthatIdon’tknowwhathappenedThismuchiscertain。
　　Peythroppedisappeared——vanishedlikesmoke——andthelongfoot-restchairinthehouseoftheThreeMenwasbrokentosplintersAlsoabedsteaddepartedfromoneofthebedrooms。
　　MrsHauksbeesaidthatMrPeythroppewasshootinginRajputanawiththeThreeMen；sowewerecompelledtobelieveher。
　　Attheendofthemonth，Peythroppewasgazettedtwentydays’
　　extensionofleave；buttherewaswrathandlamentationinthehouseofCastriesThemarriage-dayhadbeenfixed，butthebridegroomnevercame；andtheD’Silvas，Pereiras，andDuckettsliftedtheirvoicesandmockedHonoraryLieutenantCastriesasonewhohadbeenbaselyimposeduponMrsHauksbeewenttothewedding，andwasmuchastonishedwhenPeythroppedidnotappearAftersevenweeks，PeythroppeandtheThreeMenreturnedfromRajputana。
　　Peythroppewasinhard，toughcondition，ratherwhite，andmoreself-containedthanever。
　　OneoftheThreeMenhadacutonhisnose，causebythekickofagunTwelve-boreskickrathercuriously。
　　ThencameHonoraryLieutenantCastries，seekingforthebloodofhisperfidiousson-in-lawtobeHesaidthings——vulgarand“impossible“thingswhichshowedtherawrough“ranker“belowthe“Honorary。”andIfancyPeythroppe’seyeswereopenedAnyhow，heheldhispeacetilltheend；whenhespokebrieflyHonoraryLieutenantCastriesaskedfora“peg“beforehewentawaytodieorbringasuitforbreachofpromise。
　　MissCastrieswasaverygoodgirlShesaidthatshewouldhavenobreachofpromisesuitsShesaidthat，ifshewasnotalady，shewasrefinedenoughtoknowthatladieskepttheirbrokenheartstothemselves；and，assheruledherparents，nothinghappenedLateron，shemarriedamostrespectableandgentlemanlypersonHetravelledforanenterprisingfirminCalcutta，andwasallthatagoodhusbandshouldbe。
　　SoPeythroppecametohisrightmindagain，anddidmuchgoodwork，andwashonoredbyallwhoknewhimOneofthesedayshewillmarry；buthewillmarryasweetpink-and-whitemaiden，ontheGovernmentHouseList，withalittlemoneyandsomeinfluentialconnections，aseverywisemanshouldAndhewillnever，allhislife，tellherwhathappenedduringthesevenweeksofhisshooting-
　　tourinRajputana。
　　Butjustthinkhowmuchtroubleandexpense——forcamelhireisnotcheap，andthoseBikaneerbruteshadtobefedlikehumans——mighthavebeensavedbyaproperlyconductedMatrimonialDepartment，underthecontroloftheDirectorGeneralofEducation，butcorrespondingdirectwiththeViceroy。
　　THEARRESTOFLIEUTENANTGOLIGHTLY。
　　“’I’veforgottenthecountersign，’sez’e。
　　’Oh！You’aye，’aveyou？’sezI。
　　’ButI’mtheColonel，’sez’e。
　　’Oh！Youare，areyou？’sezI’ColonelnornoColonel，youwaits’eretillI’mrelieved，an’theSarjintreportsonyouruglyoldmugCoop！’sezI……
　　An’s’helpmesoul，’twastheColonelafterall！ButIwasarecruitythen。”
　　TheUneditedAutobiographyofPrivateOrtheris。
　　IFtherewasonethingonwhichGolightlypridedhimselfmorethananother，itwaslookinglike“anOfficerandagentleman。”HesaiditwasforthehonoroftheServicethatheattiredhimselfsoelaborately；butthosewhoknewhimbestsaidthatitwasjustpersonalvanityTherewasnoharmaboutGolightly——notanounce。
　　Herecognizedahorsewhenhesawone，andcoulddomorethanfillacantleHeplayedaveryfairgameatbilliards，andwasasoundmanatthewhist-tableEveryonelikedhim；andnobodyeverdreamedofseeinghimhandcuffedonastationplatformasadeserterButthissadthinghappened。
　　HewasgoingdownfromDalhousie，attheendofhisleave——ridingdownHehadcuthisleaveasfineashedared，andwantedtocomedowninahurry。
　　ItwasfairlywarmatDalhousie，andknowingwhattoexpectbelow，hedescendedinanewkhakisuit——tightfitting——ofadelicateolive-green；apeacock-bluetie，whitecollar，andasnowywhitesolahhelmetHepridedhimselfonlookingneatevenwhenhewasridingpostHedidlookneat，andhewassodeeplyconcernedabouthisappearancebeforehestartedthathequiteforgottotakeanythingbutsomesmallchangewithhimHeleftallhisnotesatthehotelHisservantshadgonedowntheroadbeforehim，tobereadyinwaitingatPathankotewithachangeofgearThatwaswhathecalledtravellingin“lightmarching-order。”Hewasproudofhisfacultyoforganization——whatwecallbundobust。
　　Twenty-twomilesoutofDalhousieitbegantorain——notamerehill-
　　shower，butagood，tepidmonsoonishdownpourGolightlybustledon，wishingthathehadbroughtanumbrellaThedustontheroadsturnedintomud，andtheponymiredagooddealSodidGolightly’skhakigaitersButhekeptonsteadilyandtriedtothinkhowpleasantthecoolthwas。
　　Hisnextponywasratherabruteatstarting，andGolightly’shandsbeingslipperywiththerain，contrivedtogetridofGolightlyatacornerHechasedtheanimal，caughtit，andwentaheadbriskly。
　　Thespillhadnotimprovedhisclothesorhistemper，andhehadlostonespurHekepttheotheroneemployedBythetimethatstagewasended，theponyhadhadasmuchexerciseashewanted，and，inspiteoftherain，GolightlywassweatingfreelyAttheendofanothermiserablehalf-hour，GolightlyfoundtheworlddisappearbeforehiseyesinclammypulpTherainhadturnedthepithofhishugeandsnowysolah-topeeintoanevil-smellingdough，andithadclosedonhisheadlikeahalf-openedmushroomAlsothegreenliningwasbeginningtorun。
　　GolightlydidnotsayanythingworthrecordinghereHetoreoffandsqueezedupasmuchofthebrimaswasinhiseyesandploughedonThebackofthehelmetwasflappingonhisneckandthesidesstucktohisears，buttheleatherbandandgreenliningkeptthingsroughlytogether，sothatthehatdidnotactuallymeltawaywhereitflapped。
　　Presently，thepulpandthegreenstuffmadeasortofslimymildewwhichranoverGolightlyinseveraldirections——downhisbackandbosomforchoiceThekhakicolorrantoo——itwasreallyshockinglybaddye——andsectionsofGolightlywerebrown，andpatcheswereviolet，andcontourswereochre，andstreakswereruddyred，andblotcheswerenearlywhite，accordingtothenatureandpeculiaritiesofthedyeWhenhetookouthishandkerchieftowipehisfaceandthegreenofthehat-liningandthepurplestuffthathadsoakedthroughontohisneckfromthetiebecamethoroughlymixed，theeffectwasamazing。
　　NearDhartherainstoppedandtheeveningsuncameoutanddriedhimupslightlyItfixedthecolors，tooThreemilesfromPathankotethelastponyfelldeadlame，andGolightlywasforcedtowalkHepushedonintoPathankotetofindhisservantsHedidnotknowthenthathiskhitmatgarhadstoppedbytheroadsidetogetdrunk，andwouldcomeonthenextdaysayingthathehadsprainedhisankleWhenhegotintoPathankote，hecouldn’tfindhisservants，hisbootswerestiffandropywithmud，andtherewerelargequantitiesofdirtabouthisbodyThebluetiehadrunasmuchasthekhakiSohetookitoffwiththecollarandthrewitawayThenhesaidsomethingaboutservantsgenerallyandtriedtogetapegHepaideightannasforthedrink，andthisrevealedtohimthathehadonlysixannasmoreinhispocket——orintheworldashestoodatthathour。
　　HewenttotheStation-Mastertonegotiateforafirst-classtickettoKhasa，wherehewasstationedThebooking-clerksaidsomethingtotheStation-Master，theStation-MastersaidsomethingtotheTelegraphClerk，andthethreelookedathimwithcuriosityTheyaskedhimtowaitforhalf-an-hour，whiletheytelegraphedtoUmritsarforauthoritySohewaited，andfourconstablescameandgroupedthemselvespicturesquelyroundhimJustashewaspreparingtoaskthemtogoaway，theStation-MastersaidthathewouldgivetheSahibatickettoUmritsar，iftheSahibwouldkindlycomeinsidethebooking-officeGolightlysteppedinside，andthenextthingheknewwasthataconstablewasattachedtoeachofhislegsandarms，whiletheStation-Masterwastryingtocramamailbagoverhishead。
　　Therewasaveryfairscuffleallroundthebooking-office，andGolightlyreceivedanastycutoverhiseyethroughfallingagainstatableButtheconstablesweretoomuchforhim，andtheyandtheStation-MasterhandcuffedhimsecurelyAssoonasthemail-bagwasslipped，hebeganexpressinghisopinions，andthehead-constablesaid：——“Withoutdoubtthisisthesoldier-Englishmanwerequired。
　　Listentotheabuse！”ThenGolightlyaskedtheStation-MasterwhatthethisandthethattheproceedingsmeantTheStation-Mastertoldhimhewas“PrivateJohnBinkleofthe——Regiment，5ft9
　　in。，fairhair，grayeyes，andadissipatedappearance，nomarksonthebody。”whohaddesertedafortnightagoGolightlybeganexplainingatgreatlength；andthemoreheexplainedthelesstheStation-MasterbelievedhimHesaidthatnoLieutenantcouldlooksucharuffianasdidGolightly，andthathisinstructionsweretosendhiscaptureunderproperescorttoUmritsarGolightlywasfeelingverydampanduncomfortable，andthelanguageheusedwasnotfitforpublication，eveninanexpurgatedformThefourconstablessawhimsafetoUmritsarinan“intermediate“
　　compartment，andhespentthefour-hourjourneyinabusingthemasfluentlyashisknowledgeofthevernacularsallowed。
　　AtUmritsarhewasbundledoutontheplatformintothearmsofaCorporalandtwomenofthe——RegimentGolightlydrewhimselfupandtriedtocarryoffmattersjauntilyHedidnotfeeltoojauntyinhandcuffs，withfourconstablesbehindhim，andthebloodfromthecutonhisforeheadstiffeningonhisleftcheekTheCorporalwasnotjoculareitherGolightlygotasfaras——“Thisisaveryabsurdmistake，mymen。”whentheCorporaltoldhimto“stowhislip“andcomealongGolightlydidnotwanttocomealong。
　　HedesiredtostopandexplainHeexplainedverywellindeed，untiltheCorporalcutinwith：——“YOUaorficer！It’sthelikeo’YOUasbringsdisgraceonthelikesofUSBloom-in’fineorficeryouare！