IknowyourregimentTheRogue’sMarchisthequickstepwhereyoucomefromYou’reablackshametotheService。”
　　Golightlykepthistemper，andbeganexplainingalloveragainfromthebeginningThenhewasmarchedoutoftherainintotherefreshment-roomandtoldnottomakeaqualifiedfoolofhimself。
　　ThemenweregoingtorunhimuptoFortGovindgharAnd“runningup“isaperformancealmostasundignifiedastheFrogMarch。
　　GolightlywasnearlyhystericalwithrageandthechillandthemistakeandthehandcuffsandtheheadachethatthecutonhisforeheadhadgivenhimHereallylaidhimselfouttoexpresswhatwasinhismindWhenhehadquitefinishedandhisthroatwasfeelingdry，oneofthemensaid：——“I’ve’eardafewbeggarsintheclickblind，stiffandcrackonabit；butI’venever’eardanyonetotouchthis’ere’orficer。’“TheywerenotangrywithhimTheyratheradmiredhimTheyhadsomebeerattherefreshment-room，andofferedGolightlysometoo，becausehehad“sworewon’erful。”
　　TheyaskedhimtotellthemallabouttheadventuresofPrivateJohnBinklewhilehewaslooseonthecountryside；andthatmadeGolightlywilderthaneverIfhehadkepthiswitsabouthimhewouldhavekeptquietuntilanofficercame；butheattemptedtorun。
　　NowthebuttofaMartiniinthesmallofyourbackhurtsagreatdeal，androtten，rain-soakedkhakitearseasilywhentwomenarejerkingatyourcollar。
　　Golightlyrosefromthefloorfeelingverysickandgiddy，withhisshirtrippedopenalldownhisbreastandnearlyalldownhisback。
　　Heyieldedtohisluck，andatthatpointthedown-trainfromLahorecameincarryingoneofGolightly’sMajors。
　　ThisistheMajor’sevidenceinfull：——
　　“Therewasthesoundofascuffleinthesecond-classrefreshment-
　　room，soIwentinandsawthemostvillainousloaferthatIeverseteyesonHisbootsandbreecheswereplasteredwithmudandbeer-stainsHeworeamuddy-whitedunghillsortofthingonhishead，andithungdowninslipsonhisshoulders，whichwereagooddealscratchedHewashalfinandhalfoutofashirtasnearlyintwopiecesasitcouldbe，andhewasbeggingtheguardtolookatthenameonthetailofitAshehadruckedtheshirtalloverhishead，Icouldn’tatfirstseewhohewas，butIfanciedthathewasamaninthefirststageofDTfromthewayhesworewhilehewrestledwithhisragsWhenheturnedround，andIhadmadeallowanceforalumpasbigasapork-pieoveroneeye，andsomegreenwar-paintontheface，andsomevioletstripesroundtheneck，IsawthatitwasGolightlyHewasverygladtoseeme。”saidtheMajor，“andhehopedIwouldnottelltheMessaboutitIdidn’t，butyoucanifyoulike，nowthatGolightlyhasgoneHome。”
　　GolightlyspentthegreaterpartofthatsummerintryingtogettheCorporalandthetwosoldierstriedbyCourt-Martialforarrestingan“officerandagentleman。”Theywere，ofcourse，verysorryfortheirerrorButthetaleleakedintotheregimentalcanteen，andthenceranabouttheProvince。
　　THEHOUSEOFSUDDHOO
　　Astone’sthrowoutoneitherhandFromthatwell-orderedroadwetread，Andalltheworldiswildandstrange；
　　ChurelandghoulandDjinnandspriteShallbearuscompanyto-night，ForwehavereachedtheOldestLandWhereinthePowersofDarknessrange。
　　FromtheDusktotheDawn。
　　ThehouseofSuddhoo，neartheTaksaliGate，istwo-storied，withfourcarvedwindowsofoldbrownwood，andaflatroofYoumayrecognizeitbyfiveredhand-printsarrangedliketheFiveofDiamondsonthewhitewashbetweentheupperwindows。
　　BhagwanDass，thebunnia，andamanwhosayshegetshislivingbyseal-cutting，liveinthelowerstorywithatroopofwives，servants，friends，andretainersThetwoupperroomsusedtobeoccupiedbyJanooandAzizunandalittleblack-and-tanterrierthatwasstolenfromanEnglishman’shouseandgiventoJanoobyasoldierTo-day，onlyJanoolivesintheupperroomsSuddhoosleepsontheroofgenerally，exceptwhenhesleepsinthestreetHeusedtogotoPeshawarinthecoldweathertovisithisson，whosellscuriositiesneartheEdwardes’Gate，andthenhesleptunderarealmudroof。
　　Suddhooisagreatfriendofmine，becausehiscousinhadasonwhosecured，thankstomyrecommendation，thepostofhead-messengertoabigfirmintheStationSuddhoosaysthatGodwillmakemeaLieutenant-GovernoroneofthesedaysIdaresayhisprophecywillcometrueHeisvery，veryold，withwhitehairandnoteethworthshowing，andhehasoutlivedhiswits——outlivednearlyeverythingexcepthisfondnessforhissonatPeshawarJanooandAzizunareKashmiris，LadiesoftheCity，andtheirswasanancientandmoreorlesshonorableprofession；butAzizunhassincemarriedamedicalstudentfromtheNorth-WestandhassettleddowntoamostrespectablelifesomewherenearBareillyBhagwanDassisanextortionateandanadulteratorHeisveryrichThemanwhoissupposedtogethislivingbyseal-cuttingpretendstobeverypoor。
　　ThisletsyouknowasmuchasisnecessaryofthefourprincipaltenantsinthehouseofSuddhooThenthereisMe，ofcourse；butI
　　amonlythechorusthatcomesinattheendtoexplainthingsSoI
　　donotcount。
　　SuddhoowasnotcleverThemanwhopretendedtocutsealswasthecleverestofthemall——BhagwanDassonlyknewhowtolie——exceptJanooShewasalsobeautiful，butthatwasherownaffair。
　　Suddhoo’ssonatPeshawarwasattackedbypleurisy，andoldSuddhoowastroubledTheseal-cuttermanheardofSuddhoo’sanxietyandmadecapitaloutofitHewasabreastofthetimesHegotafriendinPeshawartotelegraphdailyaccountsoftheson’shealth。
　　Andherethestorybegins。
　　Suddhoo’scousin’ssontoldme，oneevening，thatSuddhoowantedtoseeme；thathewastoooldandfeebletocomepersonally，andthatIshouldbeconferringaneverlastinghonorontheHouseofSuddhooifIwenttohimIwent；butIthink，seeinghowwell-offSuddhoowasthen，thathemighthavesentsomethingbetterthananekka，whichjoltedfearfully，tohauloutafutureLieutenant-GovernortotheCityonamuggyAprileveningTheekkadidnotrunquickly。
　　ItwasfulldarkwhenwepulledupoppositethedoorofRanjitSingh’sTombnearthemaingateoftheFortHerewasSuddhooandhesaidthat，byreasonofmycondescension，itwasabsolutelycertainthatIshouldbecomeaLieutenant-GovernorwhilemyhairwasyetblackThenwetalkedabouttheweatherandthestateofmyhealth，andthewheatcrops，forfifteenminutes，intheHuzuriBagh，underthestars。
　　SuddhoocametothepointatlastHesaidthatJanoohadtoldhimthattherewasanorderoftheSirkaragainstmagic，becauseitwasfearedthatmagicmightonedaykilltheEmpressofIndiaIdidn’tknowanythingaboutthestateofthelaw；butIfanciedthatsomethinginterestingwasgoingtohappenIsaidthatsofarfrommagicbeingdiscouragedbytheGovernmentitwashighlycommended。
　　ThegreatestofficialsoftheStatepracticeditthemselvesIftheFinancialStatementisn’tmagic，Idon’tknowwhatis。Then，toencouragehimfurther，Isaidthat，iftherewasanyjadooafoot，Ihadnottheleastobjectiontogivingitmycountenanceandsanction，andtoseeingthatitwascleanjadoo——whitemagic，asdistinguishedfromtheuncleanjadoowhichkillsfolkIttookalongtimebeforeSuddhooadmittedthatthiswasjustwhathehadaskedmetocomeforThenhetoldme，injerksandquavers，thatthemanwhosaidhecutsealswasasorcererofthecleanestkind；
　　thateverydayhegaveSuddhoonewsofthesicksoninPeshawarmorequicklythanthelightningcouldfly，andthatthisnewswasalwayscorroboratedbythelettersFurther，thathehadtoldSuddhoohowagreatdangerwasthreateninghisson，whichcouldberemovedbycleanjadoo；and，ofcourse，heavypaymentIbegantoseehowthelandlay，andtoldSuddhoothatIalsounderstoodalittlejadoointheWesternline，andwouldgotohishousetoseethateverythingwasdonedecentlyandinorderWesetofftogether；andonthewaySuddhootoldmehehadpaidtheseal-cutterbetweenonehundredandtwohundredrupeesalready；andthejadooofthatnightwouldcosttwohundredmoreWhichwascheap，hesaid，consideringthegreatnessofhisson’sdanger；butIdonotthinkhemeantit。
　　ThelightswereallcloakedinthefrontofthehousewhenwearrivedIcouldhearawfulnoisesfrombehindtheseal-cutter’sshop-front，asifsomeoneweregroaninghissouloutSuddhooshookallover，andwhilewegropedourwayupstairstoldmethatthejadoohadbegunJanooandAzizunmetusatthestair-head，andtoldusthatthejadoo-workwascomingoffintheirrooms，becausetherewasmorespacethereJanooisaladyofafreethinkingturnofmindShewhisperedthatthejadoowasaninventiontogetmoneyoutofSuddhoo，andthattheseal-cutterwouldgotoahotplacewhenhediedSuddhoowasnearlycryingwithfearandoldage。
　　Hekeptwalkingupanddowntheroominthehalflight，repeatinghisson’snameoverandoveragain，andaskingAzizuniftheseal-cutteroughtnottomakeareductioninthecaseofhisownlandlord。
　　Janoopulledmeovertotheshadowintherecessofthecarvedbow-
　　windowsTheboardswereup，andtheroomswereonlylitbyonetinylampTherewasnochanceofmybeingseenifIstayedstill。
　　Presently，thegroansbelowceased，andweheardstepsonthestaircaseThatwastheseal-cutterHestoppedoutsidethedoorastheterrierbarkedandAzizunfumbledatthechain，andhetoldSuddhootoblowoutthelampThislefttheplaceinjetdarkness，exceptfortheredglowfromthetwohuqasthatbelongedtoJanooandAzizunTheseal-cuttercamein，andIheardSuddhoothrowhimselfdownonthefloorandgroanAzizuncaughtherbreath，andJanoobackedtooneofthebedswithashudderTherewasaclinkofsomethingmetallic，andthenshotupapaleblue-greenflamenearthegroundThelightwasjustenoughtoshowAzizun，pressedagainstonecorneroftheroomwiththeterrierbetweenherknees；
　　Janoo，withherhandsclasped，leaningforwardasshesatonthebed；Suddhoo，facedown，quivering，andtheseal-cutter。
　　IhopeImayneverseeanothermanlikethatseal-cutterHewasstrippedtothewaist，withawreathofwhitejasmineasthickasmywristroundhisforehead，asalmon-coloredloin-clothroundhismiddle，andasteelbangleoneachankleThiswasnotawe-
　　inspiringItwasthefaceofthemanthatturnedmecoldItwasblue-grayinthefirstplaceInthesecond，theeyeswererolledbacktillyoucouldonlyseethewhitesofthem；and，inthethird，thefacewasthefaceofademon——aghoul——anythingyoupleaseexceptofthesleek，oilyoldruffianwhosatintheday-timeoverhisturning-lathedownstairsHewaslyingonhisstomach，withhisarmsturnedandcrossedbehindhim，asifhehadbeenthrowndownpinionedHisheadandneckweretheonlypartsofhimoffthefloorTheywerenearlyatrightanglestothebody，liketheheadofacobraatspringItwasghastlyInthecentreoftheroom，onthebareearthfloor，stoodabig，deep，brassbasin，withapaleblue-greenlightfloatinginthecentrelikeanight-lightRoundthatbasinthemanonthefloorwriggledhimselfthreetimesHowhediditIdonotknowIcouldseethemusclesripplealonghisspineandfallsmoothagain；butIcouldnotseeanyothermotion。
　　Theheadseemedtheonlythingaliveabouthim，exceptthatslowcurlanduncurlofthelaboringback-musclesJanoofromthebedwasbreathingseventytotheminute；Azizunheldherhandsbeforehereyes；andoldSuddhoo，fingeringatthedirtthathadgotintohiswhitebeard，wascryingtohimselfThehorrorofitwasthatthecreeping，crawlythingmadenosound——onlycrawled！And，remember，thislastedfortenminutes，whiletheterrierwhined，andAzizunshuddered，andJanoogasped，andSuddhoocried。
　　Ifeltthehairliftatthebackofmyhead，andmyheartthumplikeathermantidotepaddleLuckily，theseal-cutterbetrayedhimselfbyhismostimpressivetrickandmademecalmagainAfterhehadfinishedthatunspeakabletriplecrawl，hestretchedhisheadawayfromthefloorashighashecould，andsentoutajetoffirefromhisnostrilsNow，Iknewhowfire-spoutingisdone——Icandoitmyself——soIfeltateaseThebusinesswasafraudIfhehadonlykepttothatcrawlwithouttryingtoraisetheeffect，goodnessknowswhatImightnothavethoughtBoththegirlsshriekedatthejetoffireandtheheaddropped，chindown，onthefloorwithathud；thewholebodylyingthenlikeacorpsewithitsarmstrussed。
　　Therewasapauseoffivefullminutesafterthis，andtheblue-
　　greenflamedieddownJanoostoopedtosettleoneofheranklets，whileAzizunturnedherfacetothewallandtooktheterrierinherarmsSuddhooputoutanarmmechanicallytoJanoo’shuqa，andshesliditacrossthefloorwithherfootDirectlyabovethebodyandonthewall，wereacoupleofflamingportraits，instampedpaperframes，oftheQueenandthePrinceofWalesTheylookeddownontheperformance，and，tomythinking，seemedtoheightenthegrotesquenessofitall。