’WhatdoesYourMajestypleasetowant？Youcan’tsmokemorethanyoudo；youwon’tdrink；you’reagrossfeeder；andyoudressinthedark，bythelookofyouYouwouldn’tkeepahorsetheotherdaywhenI
　　suggested，because，yousaid，itmightfalllame，andwheneveryoucrossthestreetyoutakeahansomEvenyouarenotfoolishenoughtosupposethattheatresandallthelivethingsyoucanbythereaboutsmeanLife。
　　Whatearthlyneedhaveyouformoney？’
　　’It’sthere，blessitsgoldenheart，’saidDick’It’sthereallthetime。
　　ProvidencehassentmenutswhileIhaveteethtocrack’emwithI
　　haven’tyetfoundthenutIwishtocrack，butI’mkeepingmyteethfiled。
　　PerhapssomedayyouandIwillgoforawalkroundthewideearth。’
　　’Withnoworktodo，nobodytoworryus，andnobodytocompetewith？
　　YouwouldbeunfittospeaktoinaweekBesides，Ishouldn’tgoI
　　don’tcaretoprofitbythepriceofaman’ssoul，——forthat’swhatitwouldmean。
　　Dick，it’snousearguingYou’reafool。’
　　’Don’tseeitWhenIwasonthatChinesepig-boat，ourcaptaingotcreditforsavingabouttwenty-fivethousandveryseasicklittlepigs，whenouroldtrampofasteamerfellfoulofatimber-junkNow，takingthosepigsasaparallel——’
　　’Oh，confoundyourparallels！WheneverItrytoimproveyoursoul，youalwaysdraginsomeanecdotefromyourveryshadypastPigsaren’ttheBritishpublic；andself-respectisself-respecttheworldoverGooutforawalkandtrytocatchsomeself-respectAnd，Isay，iftheNilghaicomesupthiseveningcanIshowhimyourdiggings？’
　　’Surely。’AndDickdeparted，totakecounselwithhimselfintherapidlygatheringLondonfog。
　　Halfanhourafterhehadleft，theNilghailabouredupthestaircaseHewasthechiefest，ashewastheyoungest，ofthewarcorrespondents，andhisexperiencesdatedfromthebirthoftheneedle-gunSavingonlyhisally，KeneutheGreatWarEagle，therewasnomanhigherinthecraftthanhe，andhealwaysopenedhisconversationwiththenewsthattherewouldbetroubleintheBalkansinthespringTorpenhowlaughedasheentered。
　　’NevermindthetroubleintheBalkansThoselittlestatesarealwaysscreechingYou’veheardaboutDick’sluck？’
　　’Yes；hehasbeencalleduptonotoriety，hasn’the？IhopeyoukeephimproperlyhumbleHewantssuppressingfromtimetotime。’
　　’HedoesHe’sbeginningtotakelibertieswithwhathethinksishisreputation。’
　　’Already！ByJove，hehascheek！Idon’tknowabouthisreputation，buthe’llcomeacropperifhetriesthatsortofthing。’
　　’SoItoldhimIdon’tthinkhebelievesit。’
　　’TheyneverdowhentheyfirststartoffWhat’sthatwreckonthegroundthere？’
　　’Specimenofhislatestimpertinence。’Torpenhowthrustthetornedgesofthecanvastogetherandshowedthewell-groomedpicturetotheNilghai，wholookedatitforamomentandwhistled。
　　’It’sachromo，’saidhe，——’achromo-litholeomargarinefake！Whatpossessedhimtodoit？Andyethowthoroughlyhehascaughtthenotethatcatchesapublicwhothinkwiththeirbootsandreadwiththeirelbows！Thecold-bloodedinsolenceoftheworkalmostsavesit；
　　buthemustn’tgoonwiththisHasn’thebeenpraisedandcockereduptoomuch？Youknowthesepeopleherehavenosenseofproportion。
　　They’llcallhimasecondDetailleandathird-handMeissonierwhilehisfashionlastsIt’swindydietforacolt。’
　　’Idon’tthinkitaffectsDickmuchYoumightaswellcallayoungwolfalionandexpecthimtotakethecomplimentinexchangeforashin-bone。
　　Dick’ssoulisinthebankHe’sworkingforcash。’
　　’Nowhehasthrownupwarwork，Isupposehedoesn’tseethattheobligationsoftheservicearejustthesame，onlytheproprietorsarechanged。’
　　’Howshouldheknow？Hethinksheishisownmaster。’
　　’Doeshe？Icouldundeceivehimforhisgood，ifthere’sanyvirtueinprintHewantsthewhiplash。’
　　’Layitonwithscience，thenI’dflayhimmyself，butIlikehimtoomuch。’
　　’I’venoscruplesHehadtheaudacitytotrytocutmeoutwithawomanatCairoonceIforgotthat，butIremembernow。’
　　’Didhecutyouout？’
　　’You’llseewhenIhavedealtwithhimBut，afterall，what’sthegood？
　　Leavehimaloneandhe’llcomehome，ifhehasanystuffinhim，draggingorwagginghistailbehindhimThere’smoreinaweekoflifethaninalivelyweeklyNonethelessI’llslatehimI’llslatehimponderouslyintheCataclysm。’
　　’Goodlucktoyou；butIfancynothingshortofacrowbarwouldmakeDickwinceHissoulseemstohavebeenfiredbeforewecameacrosshim。
　　He’sintenselysuspiciousandutterlylawless。’
　　’Matteroftemper，’saidtheNilghai’It’sthesamewithhorses。
　　Someyouwallopandtheywork，someyouwallopandtheyjib，andsomeyouwallopandtheygooutforawalkwiththeirhandsintheirpockets。’
　　’That’sexactlywhatDickhasdone，’saidTorpenhow’WaittillhecomesbackInthemeantime，youcanbeginyourslatinghereI’llshowyousomeofhislastandworstworkinhisstudio。’
　　DickhadinstinctivelysoughtrunningwaterforacomforttohismoodofmindHewasleaningovertheEmbankmentwall，watchingtherushoftheThamesthroughthearchesofWestminsterBridgeHebeganbythinkingofTorpenhow’sadvice，but，asofcustom，losthimselfinthestudyofthefacesflockingpastSomehaddeathwrittenontheirfeatures，andDickmarvelledthattheycouldlaughOthers，clumsyandcoarse-builtforthemostpart，werealightwithlove；othersweremerelydrawnandlinedwithwork；buttherewassomething，Dickknew，tobemadeoutofthemallThepooratleastshouldsufferthathemightlearn，andtherichshouldpayfortheoutputofhislearningThushiscreditintheworldandhiscashbalanceatthebankwouldbeincreasedSomuchthebetterforhimHehadsufferedNowhewouldtaketolloftheillsofothers。
　　Thefogwasdrivenapartforamoment，andthesunshone，ablood-redwafer，onthewaterDickwatchedthespottillheheardthevoiceofthetidebetweenthepiersdiedownlikethewashoftheseaatlowtideAgirlhardpressedbyherlovershoutedshamelessly，’Ah，getaway，youbeast！’
　　andashiftofthesamewindthathadopenedthefogdroveacrossDick’sfacetheblacksmokeofariver-steameratherberthbelowthewallHewasblindedforthemoment，thenspunroundandfoundhimselffacetofacewith——Maisie。
　　TherewasnomistakingTheyearshadturnedthechildtoawoman，buttheyhadnotalteredthedark-grayeyes，thethinscarletlips，orthefirmlymodelledmouthandchin；and，thatallshouldbeasitwasofold，sheworeacloselyfittinggraydress。
　　Sincethehumansoulisfiniteandnotintheleastunderitsowncommand，Dick，advancing，said’Halloo！’afterthemannerofschoolboys，andMaisieanswered，’Oh，Dick，isthatyou？’Then，againsthiswill，andbeforethebrainnewlyreleasedfromconsiderationsofthecashbalancehadtimetodictatetothenerves，everypulseofDick’sbodythrobbedfuriouslyandhispalatedriedinhismouthThefogshutdownagain，andMaisie’sfacewaspearl-whitethroughitNowordwasspoken，butDickfellintostepatherside，andthetwopacedtheEmbankmenttogether，keepingthestepasperfectlyasintheirafternoonexcursionstothemud-flatsThenDick，alittlehoarsely——
　　’WhathashappenedtoAmomma？’
　　’Hedied，DickNotcartridges；over-eatingHewasalwaysgreedy。
　　Isn’titfunny？’
　　’YesNoDoyoumeanAmomma？’
　　’Ye——esNoThisWherehaveyoucomefrom？’
　　’Overthere，’Hepointedeastwardthroughthefog’Andyou？’
　　’Oh，I’minthenorth，——theblacknorth，acrossalltheParkIamverybusy。’
　　’Whatdoyoudo？’
　　’IpaintagreatdealThat’sallIhavetodo。’
　　’Why，what’shappened？Youhadthreehundredayear。’
　　’IhavethatstillIampainting；that’sall。’
　　’Areyoualone，then？’
　　’There’sagirllivingwithmeDon’twalksofast，Dick；you’reoutofstep。’
　　’Thenyounoticedittoo？’
　　’OfcourseIdidYou’realwaysoutofstep。’
　　’SoIamI’msorryYouwentonwiththepainting？’
　　’OfcourseIsaidIshouldIwasattheSlade，thenatMerton’sinSt。
　　John’sWood，thebigstudio，thenIpepper-potted，——ImeanIwenttotheNational，——andnowI’mworkingunderKami。’
　　’ButKamiisinParissurely？’
　　’No；hehashisteachingstudioinVitry-sur-MarneIworkwithhiminthesummer，andIliveinLondoninthewinterI’mahouseholder。’
　　’Doyousellmuch？’
　　’Nowandagain，butnotoftenThereismy’busImusttakeitorlosehalfanhourGood-bye，Dick。’
　　’Good-bye，MaisieWon’tyoutellmewhereyoulive？Imustseeyouagain；andperhapsIcouldhelpyouI——Ipaintalittlemyself。’
　　’ImaybeintheParkto-morrow，ifthereisnoworkinglightIwalkfromtheMarbleArchdownandbackagain；thatismylittleexcursion。
　　ButofcourseIshallseeyouagain。’Shesteppedintotheomnibusandwasswallowedupbythefog。
　　’Well——I——am——damned！’exclaimedDick，andreturnedtothechambers。
　　TorpenhowandtheNilghaifoundhimsittingonthestepstothestgudiodoor，repeatingthephrasewithanawfulgravity。
　　’You’llbemoredamnedwhenI’mdonewithyou，’saidtheNilghai，upheavinghisbulkfrombehindTorpenhow’sshoulderandwavingasheafofhalf-drymanuscript’Dick，itisofcommonreportthatyouaresufferingfromswelledhead。’
　　’Halloo，NilghaiBackagain？HowaretheBalkansandallthelittleBalkans？Onesideofyourfaceisoutofdrawing，asusual。’
　　’NevermindthatIamcommissionedtosmiteyouinprint。
　　TorpenhowrefusesfromfalsedelicacyI’vebeenoverhaulingthepot-boilersinyourstudioTheyaresimplydisgraceful。’
　　’Oho！that’sit，isit？Ifyouthinkyoucanslateme，you’rewrong。
　　Youcanonlydescribe，andyouneedasmuchroomtoturnin，onpaper，asaPandOcargo-boatButcontinue，andbeswiftI’mgoingtobed。’
　　’H’m！h’m！h’m！ThefirstpartonlydealswithyourpicturesHere’stheperoration：“Forworkdonewithoutconviction，forpowerwastedontrivialities，forlabourexpendedwithlevityforthedeliberatepurposeofwinningtheeasyapplauseofafashion-drivenpublic——“
　　’That’s“HisLastShot。”secondeditionGoon。’
　　’——“public，thereremainsbutoneend，——theoblivionthatisprecededbytolerationandcenotaphedwithcontemptFromthatfateMr。
　　Heldarhasyettoprovehimselfoutofdanger。’
　　’Wow——wow——wow——wow——wow！’saidDick，profanely’It’saclumsyendingandvilejournalese，butit’squitetrueAndyet，’——hesprangtohisfeetandsnatchedatthemanuscript，——’youscarred，deboshed，batteredoldgladiator！you’resentoutwhenawarbegins，toministertotheblind，brutal，Britishpublic’sbestialthirstforbloodTheyhavenoarenasnow，buttheymusthavespecialcorrespondentsYou’reafatgladiatorwhocomesupthroughatrap-doorandtalksofwhathe’sseenYoustandonpreciselythesamelevelasanenergeticbishop，anaffableactress，adevastatingcyclone，or——mineownsweetselfAndyoupresumetolecturemeaboutmywork！Nilghai，ifitwereworthwhileI’dcaricatureyouinfourpapers！’
　　TheNilghaiwincedHehadnotthoughtofthis。
　　’Asitis，Ishalltakethisstuffandtearitsmall——so！’Themanuscriptflutteredinslipsdownthedarkwellofthestaircase’Gohome，Nilghai，’
　　saidDick；’gohometoyourlonelylittlebed，andleavemeinpeaceIamabouttoturnintillto-morrow。’
　　’Why，itisn’tsevenyet！’saidTorpenhow，withamazement。
　　’Itshallbetwointhemorning，ifIchoose，’saidDick，backingtothestudiodoor’Igotograpplewithaseriouscrisis，andIshan’twantanydinner。’
　　Thedoorshutandwaslocked。
　　’Whatcanyoudowithamanlikethat？’saidtheNilghai。
　　’LeavehimaloneHe’sasmadasahatter。’
　　Ateleventherewasakickingonthestudiodoor’IstheNilghaiwithyoustill？’saidavoicefromwithin’Thentellhimhemighthavecondensedthewholeofhislumberingnonsenseintoanepigram：“Onlythefreearebond，andonlythebondarefree。”Tellhimhe’sanidiot，Torp，andtellhimI’manother。’
　　’AllrightComeoutandhavesupperYou’resmokingonanemptystomach。’
　　Therewasnoanswer。