Littleboy,dramatically:“Andbangthemonitorsank!”
Littlegirl。“Itdidn’tdoanysuchthing。Mymonitoralwaysgoestobedatseven,andit’snowquarterpast。Mymonitorwasinbedandcouldn’tsink!”
WhenIwasAssistantSecretaryoftheNavy,LeonardWoodandIusedoftentocombineforcesandtakebothfamiliesofchildrenouttowalk,andoccasionallysomeoftheirplaymates。LeonardWood’sson,I
found,attributedthepaternityofallofthosenotofhisownfamilytome。OnceweweretakingthechildrenacrossRockCreekonafallentree。Iwasstandingonthemiddleofthelogtryingtopreventanyofthechildrenfromfallingoff,andwhilemakingaclutchatonepeculiarlyactiveandheedlesschildIfelloffmyself。AsIemergedfromthewaterIheardthelittleWoodboycallingfranticallytotheGeneral:“Oh!oh!Thefatherofallthechildrenfellintothecreek!”——
whichmademefeellikeanuncommonlymoistpatriarch。OfcoursethechildrentookmuchinterestinthetrophiesIoccasionallybroughtbackfrommyhunts。WhenIstartedformyregiment,in’98,thestressofleavinghome,whichwasnaturallynotpleasant,wassomewhatlightenedbythenexttotheyoungestboy,whoseideasofwhatwasabouttohappenwerehazy,claspingmeroundthelegswithabeamingsmileandsaying,“Andismyfathergoingtothewar?Andwillhebringmebackabear?”When,somefivemonthslater,Ireturned,ofcourseinmyuniform,thislittleboywasmuchpuzzledastomyidentity,althoughhegreetedmeaffablywith“Goodafternoon,Colonel。”Halfanhourlatersomebodyaskedhim,“Where’sfather?”towhichheresponded,“Idon’tknow;buttheColonelistakingabath。”
Ofcoursethechildrenanthropomorphized——ifthatistheproperterm——
theirfriendsoftheanimalworld。Amongthesefriendsatoneperiodwasthebaker’shorse,andonaveryrainydayIheardthelittlegirl,whowaslookingoutofthewindow,say,withamelancholyshakeofherhead,“Oh!there’spoorKraft’shorse,allsoppin’wet!”
WhileIwasintheWhiteHousetheyoungestboybecamean/habitue/ofasmallandrathernoisomeanimalshop,andthegood-naturedownerwouldoccasionallylethimtakepetshometoplaywith。OnoneoccasionIwasholdingaconversationwithoneoftheleadersinCongress,UnclePeteHepburn,abouttheRailroadRateBill。Thechildrenwerestrictlytrainednottointerruptbusiness,butonthisparticularoccasionthelittleboy’sfeelingsovercamehim。Hehadbeenloanedaking-snake,which,asallnature-loversknow,isnotonlyausefulbutabeautifulsnake,veryfriendlytohumanbeings;
andhecamerushinghometoshowthetreasure。Hewasholdingitinsidehiscoat,anditcontrivedtowigglepartlydownthesleeve。
UnclePeteHepburnnaturallydidnotunderstandthefullimportofwhatthelittleboywassayingtomeasheendeavoredtowriggleoutofhisjacket,andkindlystartedtohelphim——andthenjumpedbackwithalacrityasthesmallboyandthesnakebothpoppedoutofthejacket。
Therecouldbenohealthierandpleasanterplaceinwhichtobringupchildrenthaninthatnookofold-timeAmericaaroundSagamoreHill。
CertainlyIneverknewsmallpeopletohaveabettertimeorabettertrainingfortheirworkinafterlifethanthethreefamiliesofcousinsatSagamoreHill。Itwasrealcountry,and——speakingfromthesomewhatdetachedpointofviewofthemasculineparent——Ishouldsaytherewasjustthepropermixtureoffreedomandcontrolinthemanagementofthechildren。Theywereneverallowedtobedisobedientortoshirklessonsorwork;andtheywereencouragedtohaveallthefunpossible。Theyoftenwentbarefoot,especiallyduringthemanyhourspassedinvariousenthrallingpursuitsalongandinthewatersofthebay。Theyswam,theytramped,theyboated,theycoastedandskatedinwinter,theywereintimatefriendswiththecows,chickens,pigs,andotherlivestock。Theyhadinsuccessiontwoponies,GeneralGrantand,whentheGeneral’slegsbecamesuchthathelaydowntoooftenandtoounexpectedlyintheroad,acalicoponynamedAlgonquin,whoisstilllivingalifeofhonorableleisureinthestableandinthepasture——wherehehastobepicketed,becauseotherwisehechasesthecows。SedateponyGrantusedtodrawthecartinwhichthechildrenwentdrivingwhentheywereverysmall,thedriverbeingtheiroldnurseMame,whohadheldtheirmotherinherarmswhenshewasborn,andwhowasknittothembyatieascloseasanytieofblood。IdoubtwhetherIeversawMamereallyoffendedwiththemexceptoncewhen,outofpurebutmisunderstoodaffection,theynamedapigafterher。TheylovedponyGrant。OnceIsawthethenlittleboyofthreehuggingponyGrant’sforelegs。Asheleanedover,hisbroadstrawhattiltedonend,andponyGrantmeditativelymunchedthebrim;
whereuponthesmallboylookedupwithawailofanguish,evidentlythinkingtheponyhaddecidedtotreathimlikearadish。
Thechildrenhadpetsoftheirown,too,ofcourse。Amongthemguineapigswerethestand-bys——theirhighlyunemotionalnaturefitsthemforcompanionshipwithadoringbutover-enthusiasticyoungmastersandmistresses。Thentherewereflyingsquirrels,andkangaroorats,gentleandtrustful,andabadgerwhosetemperwasshortbutwhosenaturewasfundamentallyfriendly。Thebadger’snamewasJosiah;theparticularlittleboywhosepropertyhewasusedtocarryhimabout,claspedfirmlyaroundwhatwouldhavebeenhiswaistifhehadhadany。Inasmuchaswhenonthegroundthebadgerwouldplayenergeticgamesoftagwiththelittleboyandniphisbarelegs,Isuggestedthatitwouldbeuncommonlydisagreeableifhetookadvantageofbeingheldinthelittleboy’sarmstobitehisface;butthissuggestionwasrepelledwithscornasanunworthyassaultonthecharacterofJosiah。“Hebiteslegssometimes,butheneverbitesfaces。”saidthelittleboy。WealsohadayoungblackbearwhomthechildrenchristenedJonathanEdwards,partlyoutofcomplimenttotheirmother,whowasdescendedfromthatgreatPuritandivine,andpartlybecausethebearpossessedatemperinwhichgloomandstrengthwerecombinedinwhatthechildrenregardedasCalvinisticproportions。Asforthedogs,ofcoursethereweremany,andduringtheirlivestheywereintimateandvaluedfamilyfriends,andtheirdeathswerehouseholdtragedies。Oneofthem,alargeyellowanimalofseveralgoodbreedsandvaluableratherbecauseofpsychicalthanphysicaltraits,wasnamed“Susan“byhissmallowners,incommemorationofanotherretainer,awhitecow;thefactthatthecowandthedogwerenotofthesamesexbeingtreatedwithindifference。MuchthemostindividualofthedogsandtheonewiththestrongestcharacterwasSailorBoy,aChesapeakeBaydog。Hehadamasterfultemperandastrongsenseofbothdignityandduty。Hewouldneverlettheotherdogsfight,andhehimselfneverfoughtunlesscircumstancesimperativelydemandedit;
buthewasamurderousanimalwhenhedidfight。Hewasnotonlyexceedinglyfondofthewater,aswastobeexpected,butpassionatelydevotedtogunpowderineveryform,forhelovedfirearmsandfairlyreveledintheFourthofJulycelebrations——thelatterbeingratherhazardousoccasions,asthechildrenstronglyobjectedtoany“safeandsane“elementbeinginjectedintothem,andhadthenormalnumberofcloseshaveswithrockets,Romancandles,andfirecrackers。
Oneofthestand-bysforenjoyment,especiallyinrainyweather,wastheoldbarn。Thishadbeenbuiltnearlyacenturypreviously,andwasasdelightfulasonlythepleasantestkindofoldbarncanbe。Itstoodatthemeeting-spotofthreefences。Afavoriteamusementusedtobeanobstacleracewhenthebarnwasfullofhay。Thecontestantsweretimedandwerestartedsuccessivelyfromoutsidethedoor。Theyrushedinside,clamberedoverorburrowedthroughthehay,assuitedthembest,droppedoutofaplacewherealooseboardhadcomeoff,gotover,through,orunderthethreefences,andracedbacktothestarting-point。Whentheywerelittle,theirrespectivefatherswereexpectedalsototakepartintheobstaclerace,andwhenwiththeadvanceofyearsthefathersfinallyrefusedtobecontestants,therewasageneralfeelingofpainedregretamongthechildrenatsuchadeclineinthesportingspirit。
AnotherfamousplaceforhandicapraceswasCooper’sBluff,agiganticsand-bankrisingfromtheedgeofthebay,amilefromthehouse。Ifthetidewashightherewasanaddedthrill,forsomeofthecontestantsweresuretorunintothewater。
AssoonasthelittleboyslearnedtoswimtheywereallowedtogooffbythemselvesinrowboatsandcampoutforthenightalongtheSound。
SometimesIwouldgoalongsoastotakethesmallerchildren。Onceaschoonerwaswreckedonapointhalfadozenmilesaway。Sheheldtogetherwellforaseasonortwoafterhavingbeenclearedofeverythingdowntothetimbers,andthisgaveusthechancetomakecamping-outtripsinwhichthegirlscouldalsobeincluded,forweputthemtosleepinthewreck,whiletheboyssleptontheshore;
squawpicnics,thechildrencalledthem。
Mychildren,whenyoung,wenttothepublicschoolnearus,thelittleCoveSchool,asitiscalled。FornearlythirtyyearswehavegiventheChristmastreetotheschool。BeforethegiftsaredistributedI
amexpectedtomakeanaddress,whichisalwaysmercifullyshort,myownchildrenhavingimpresseduponmewithfranksinceritytheattitudeofotherchildrentoaddressesofthiskindonsuchoccasions。Thereareofcourseperformancesbythechildrenthemselves,whileallofusparentslookadmiringlyon,eachsympathizingwithhisorherparticularoffspringinthesomewhatwoodenrecitalof“DariusGreenandhisFlyingMachine“or“TheMountainandtheSquirrelhadaQuarrel。”Butthetreeandthegiftsmakeupforallshortcomings。
Wehadasleighforwinter;butif,whentherewasmuchsnow,thewholefamilydesiredtogosomewhere,wewouldputthebodyofthefarmwagononrunnersandallbundleintogether。WealwayslikedsnowatChristmastime,andthesleigh-ridedowntothechurchonChristmaseve。OneofthehymnsalwayssungatthisChristmasevefestivalbegins,“It’sChristmaseveontheriver,it’sChristmaseveonthebay。”Allgoodnativesofthevillagefirmlybelievethatthishymnwaswrittenhere,andwithdirectreferencetoOysterBay;althoughifsuchwerethecasetheword“river“wouldhavetobetakeninahyperbolicsense,asthenearestapproachtoariveristhevillagepond。Iusedtosharethisbeliefmyself,untilmyfaithwasshakenbyaDenverladywhowrotethatshehadsungthathymnwhenachildinMichigan,andthatatthepresenttimeherlittleDenverbabiesalsolovedit,althoughintheircasetheriverwasnotrepresentedbyevenavillagepond。
WhenwewereinWashington,thechildrenusuallywentwiththeirmothertotheEpiscopalchurch,whileIwenttotheDutchReformed。
Butifanychildmisbehaveditself,itwassometimessentnextSundaytochurchwithme,onthetheorythatmycompanionshipwouldhaveasedativeeffect——whichitdid,asIandthechildwalkedalongwithratherconstrainedpoliteness,eacheyingtheotherwithwatchfulreadinessfortheunexpected。Ononeoccasion,whenthechild’sconductfelljustshortofwarrantingsuchextrememeasures,hismother,astheywereonthepointofenteringchurch,concludedahomilybyaquotationwhichshowedacertainhazinessofmemoryconcerningthemarriageandbaptismalservices:“No,littleboy,ifthisconductcontinues,Ishallthinkthatyouneitherlove,honor,norobeyme!”However,theculpritwasmuchimpressedwithasenseofshortcomingastotheobligationshehadundertaken;sotheresultwasassatisfactoryasifthequotationhadbeenfromtherightservice。
Asfortheeducationofthechildren,therewasofcoursemuchofitthatrepresenteddownrighthardworkanddrudgery。Therewasalsomuchtrainingthatcameasaby-productandwasperhapsalmostasvaluable——notasasubstitutebutasanaddition。Aftertheirsupper,thechildren,whenlittle,wouldcometrottinguptotheirmother’sroomtobereadto,anditwasalwaysasurprisetometonoticetheextremelyvariedreadingwhichinterestedthem,fromHowardPyle’s“RobinHood。”MaryAliciaOwen’s“VoodooTales。”andJoelChandlerHarris’s“AaronintheWildWoods。”to“Lycides“and“KingJohn。”Iftheirmotherwasabsent,Iwouldtrytoactasvice-mother——apoorsubstitute,Ifear——superintendingthesupperandreadingaloudafterwards。Thechildrendidnotwishmetoreadthebookstheydesiredtheirmothertoread,andIusuallytooksomesuchbookas“HerewardtheWake。”or“GuyMannering。”or“TheLastoftheMohicans“
orelsesomestoryaboutaman-eatingtiger,oraman-eatinglion,fromoneofthehuntingbooksinmylibrary。Theselatterstorieswerealwaysfavorites,andastheauthorstoldtheminthefirstperson,myinterestedauditorsgrewtoknowthembythenameofthe“I“stories,andregardedthemasadventuresallofwhichhappenedtothesameindividual。WhenSelous,theAfricanhunter,visitedus,Ihadtogethimtotelltotheyoungerchildrentwoorthreeofthestorieswithwhichtheywerealreadyfamiliarfrommyreading;andasSelousisamostgraphicnarrator,andalwaysentersthoroughlyintothefeelingnotonlyofhimselfbutoftheopposinglionorbuffalo,myownrenderingoftheincidentswascastentirelyintotheshade。
Besidesprofitingbythemorecanonicalbooksoneducation,weprofitedbycertainessaysandarticlesofalessorthodoxtype。I
wishtoexpressmywarmestgratitudeforsuchbooks——notofavowedlydidacticpurpose——asLauraRichards’sbooks,JosephineDodgeDaskam’s“MadnessofPhilip。”PalmerCox’s“QueerPeople。”themelodiesofFatherGooseandMotherWildGoose,Flandreau’s“Mrs。White’s。”MyraKelly’sstoriesofherlittleEastSidepupils,andMichelson’s“Madigans。”Itiswelltotakeduties,andlifegenerally,seriously。