Hethenentirelychangedthesubjectofdiscourse，andexertingallhispowerstoentertainourlittlecircle，conversedondifferenttopicswithmorethanhisusualbrillianceandfluency，addressinghimself，sometimes，exclusivelytome，sometimestothewholetrioofladies。Annabellacheerfullyboreherpartintheconversation；butIwassickatheart，——especiallywhenloudburstsoflaughterandincoherentsongs，pealingthroughthetripledoorsofhallandante-room，startledmyearandpiercedmyachingtemples；——andMilicentpartlysharedmyfeelings；sothat，tous，theeveningappearedaverylongone，inspiteofHargrave’sapparentlygood-naturedexertionstogiveitacontraryeffect。
　　Atlast，theycame；butnottillafterten，whentea，whichhadbeendelayedformorethanhalfanhour，wasnearlyover。MuchasIhadlongedfortheircoming，myheartfailedmeattheriotousuproaroftheirapproach；andMilicentturnedpaleandalmoststartedfromherseatasMr。Hattersleyburstintotheroomwithaclamorousvolleyofoathsinhismouth，whichHargraveendeavouredtocheckbyentreatinghimtoremembertheladies。
　　`Ah！youdowelltoremindmeoftheladies，youdastardlydeserter，’
　　criedhe，shakinghisformidablefistathisbrother-in-law；`ifitwerenotforthem，youwellknow，I’ddemolishyouinthetwinklingofaneye，andgiveyourbodytothefowlsofHeavenandtheliliesofthefield！”
　　Then，plantingachairbyLadyLowborough’sside，hestationedhimselfinit，andbegantotalktoher，withamixtureofabsurdityandrascallyimpudencethatseemedrathertoamusethantooffendher；thoughsheaffectedtoresenthisinsolence，andtokeephimatbaywithsalliesofsmartandspiritedrepartee。
　　Meantime，Mr。Grimsbyseatedhimselfbyme，inthechairvacatedbyHargraveastheyentered，andgravelystatedthathewouldthankmeforacupoftea：andArthurplacedhimselfbesidepoorMilicent，confidentiallypushinghisheadintoherface，anddrawinginclosertoherassheshrunkawayfromhim。HewasnotsonoisyasHattersley，buthisfacewasexceedinglyflushed，helaughedincessantly，andwhileIblushedforallIsawandheardofhim，Iwasgladthathechosetotalktohiscompanioninsolowatonethatnoonecouldhearwhathesaidbutherself。Itmusthavebeenintolerablenonsenseatbest，forshelookedexcessivelyannoyed，andfirstwentredintheface，thenindignantlypushedbackherchair，andfinallytookrefugebehindmeonthesofa。Arthur’ssoleintentionseemedtohavebeentoproducesomesuchdisagreeableeffects：helaughedimmoderatelyonfindinghehaddrivenheraway——drawinginhischairtothetable，heleanthisfoldedarmsuponit，anddeliveredhimselfuptoaparoxysmofweak，low，foolishlaughter。WhenhewastiredofthisexerciseheliftedhisheadandcalledaloudtoHattersley，andthereensuedaclamorouscontestbetweenthemaboutIknownotwhat。
　　`Whatfoolstheyare！’drawledMr。Grimsby，whohadbeentalkingaway，atmyelbow，withsententiousgravityallthetime；butIhadbeentoomuchabsorbedincontemplatingthedeplorablestateoftheothertwo——speciallyArthur——toattendtohim。
　　`Didyoueverhearsuchnonsenseastheytalk，Mrs。Huntingdon？’
　　hecontinued。`I’mquiteashamedofthemformypart：theycan’ttakesomuchasabottlebetweenthemwithoutitsgettingintotheirheads——’
　　`Youarepouringthecreamintoyoursaucer，Mr。Grimsby。’
　　`Ah！yes，Isee，butwe’realmostindarknesshere。Hargrave，snuffthosecandles，willyou？’
　　`They’rewax；theydon’trequiresnuffing，’saidI。
　　`“Thelightofthebodyistheeye。”’observedHargrave，withasarcasticsmile。`“Ifthineeyebesinglethywholebodyshallbefulloflight。”’
　　Grimsbyrepulsedhimwithasolemnwaveofthehand，andthen，turningtome，continued，withthesamedrawlingtones，andstrangeuncertaintyofutteranceandheavygravityofaspectasbefore，`ButasIwassaying，Mrs。Huntingdon，——theyhavenoheadatall：theycan’ttakehalfabottlewithoutbeingaffectedsomeway；whereasI——well，I’vetakenthreetimesasmuchastheyhaveto-night，andyouseeI’mperfectlysteady。Nowthatmaystrikeyouasverysingular，butIthinkIcanexplainit：——youseetheirbrains——Imentionnonames，butyou’llunderstandtowhomIallude——theirbrainsarelighttobeginwith，andthefumesofthefermentedliquorrenderthemlighterstill，andproduceanentirelight-headedness，orgiddiness，resultinginintoxication；whereasmybrainsbeingcomposedofmoresolidmaterialswillabsorbaconsiderablequantityofthisalcoholicvapourwithouttheproductionofanysensibleresult——’
　　`Ithinkyouwillfindasensibleresultproducedonthattea，’
　　interruptedMr。Hargrave，`bythequantityofsugaryouhaveputintoit。
　　Insteadofyourusualcomplementofonelumpyouhaveputinsix。’
　　`HaveIso？’repliedthephilosopher，divingwithhisspoonintothecupandbringingupseveralhalf-dissolvedpiecesinconfirmationoftheassertion。`Um！Iperceive。Thus，Madam，youseetheevilofabsenceofmind——ofthinkingtoomuchwhileengagedinthecommonconcernsoflife。
　　NowifIhadmywitsaboutme，likeordinarymen，insteadofwithinmelikeaphilosopher，Ishouldnothavespoiledthiscupoftea，andbeenconstrainedtotroubleyouforanother——Withyourpermission，I’llturnthisintotheslop-basin。’
　　`Thatisthesugar-basin，Mr。Grimsby。Nowyouhavespoiledthesugartoo；andI’llthankyoutoringforsomemore——forhereisLordLowborough，atlast；andIhopehislordshipwillcondescendtositdownwithus，suchasweare，andallowmetogivehimsometea。
　　Hislordshipgravelybowedinanswertomyappeal，butsaidnothing。
　　Meantime，Hargravevolunteeredtoringforthesugar，whileGrimsbylamentedhismistake，andattemptedtoprovethatitwasowingtotheshadowoftheurnandthebadnessofthelights。
　　LordLowboroughhadenteredaminuteortwobefore，unobservedbyanyonebutme，andbeenstandingbeforethedoor，grimlysurveyingthecompany。HenowsteppeduptoAnnabella，whosatwithherbacktowardshim，withHattersleystillbesideher，thoughnotnowattendingtoher，beingoccupiedinvociferouslyabusingandbullyinghishost。
　　`Well，Annabella，’saidherhusband，asheleantoverthebackofherchair，`whichofthesethree“bold，manlyspirits“wouldyouhavemetoresemble？’
　　`ByHeavenandearth，youshallresembleusall！’criedHattersley，startingupandrudelyseizinghimbythearm。`HalloHuntingdon！’heshouted——
　　`I’vegothim！Come，man，andhelpme！Andd——nmebodyandsoulifIdon’tmakehimblinddrunkbeforeIlethimgo！HeshallmakeupforallpastdelinquenciesassureasI’malivingsoul！’
　　Therefollowedadisgracefulcontest；LordLowborough，indesperateearnest，andpalewithanger，silentlystrugglingtoreleasehimselffromthepowerfulmadmanthatwasstrivingtodraghimfromtheroom。IattemptedtourgeArthurtointerfereinbehalfofhisoutragedguest，buthecoulddonothingbutlaugh。
　　`Huntingdon，youfool，comeandhelpme，can’tyou！’criedHattersley，himselfsomewhatweakenedbyhisexcesses。
　　`I’mwishingyouGod-speed，Hattersley，’criedArthur，`andaidingyouwithmyprayers：Ican’tdoanythingelseifmylifedependedonit！
　　I’mquiteusedup。Oh，ho！’andleaningbackinhisseat，heclappedhishandsonhissidesandgroanedaloud。
　　`Annabella，givemeacandle！’saidLowboroughwhoseantagonisthadnowgothimroundthewaistandwasendeavouringtoroothimfromthedoor-posttowhichhemadlyclungwithalltheenergyofdesperation。
　　`Ishalltakenopartinyourrudesports！’repliedthelady，coldlydrawingback，`Iwonderyoucanexpectit。’
　　ButIsnatchedupacandleandbroughtittohim。HetookitandheldtheflametoHattersley’shandstill，roaringlikeawildbeast，thelatterunclaspedthemandlethimgo。Hevanished，Isupposetohisownapartment，fornothingmorewasseenofhimtillthemorning。Swearingandcursinglikeamaniac，Hattersleythrewhimselfontotheottomanbesidethewindow。Thedoorbeingnowfree，Milicentattemptedtomakeherescapefromthesceneofherhusband’sdisgrace；buthecalledherback，andinsisteduponhercomingtohim。
　　`WhatdoyouwantRalph？’murmuredshe，reluctantlyapproachinghim。
　　`Iwanttoknowwhat’sthematterwithyou，’saidhe，pullingherontohiskneelikeachild。`WhatareyoucryingforMilicent？——Tellme！’
　　`I’mnotcrying。’
　　`Youare，’persistedhe，rudelypullingherhandsfromherface。
　　`Howdareyoutellsuchalie？’
　　`I’mnotcryingnow，’pleadedshe。
　　`Butyouhavebeen——andjustthisminutetoo；andIwillknowwhatfor。Comenow，youshalltellme！’
　　`DoletmealoneRalph！rememberwearenotathome。’
　　`Nomatter：youshallanswermyquestion！’exclaimedhertormentor；andheattemptedtoextorttheconfessionbyshakingherandremorselesslycrushingherslightarmsinthegripeofhispowerfulfingers。
　　`Don’tlethimtreatyoursisterinthatway，’saidItoMr。Hargrave。
　　`Comenow，Hattersley，Ican’tallowthat，’saidthatgentleman，steppinguptotheill-assortedcouple。`Youletmysisteralone，ifyouplease。’Andhemadeanefforttounclasptheruffian’sfingersfromherarm，butwassuddenlydrivenbackwardandnearlylaiduponthefloorbyaviolentblowinthechestaccompaniedwiththeadmonition，`Takethatforyourinsolence！——andlearnnottointerferebetweenmeandmineagain。’
　　`Ifyouwerenotbeastlydrunk，I’dhavesatisfactionforthat！’
　　gaspedHargrave，whiteandbreathlessasmuchfrompassionasfromtheimmediateeffectsoftheblow。
　　`Gotothedevil！’respondedhisbrother-in-law。`NowMilicent，tellmewhatyouwerecryingfor。’
　　`I’lltellyousomeothertime，’murmuredshe，`whenwearealone。’
　　`Tellmenow！’saidhewithanothershakeandasqueezethatmadeherdrawinherbreathandbiteherliptosuppressacryofpain。
　　`I’lltellyou，Mr。Hattersley，’saidI。`Shewascryingfrompureshameandhumiliationforyou；becauseshecouldnotbeartoseeyouconductyourselfsodisgracefully。’
　　`Confoundyou，Madam！’mutteredhe，withastareofstupidamazementatmy`impudence。’`Itwasnotthat——wasitMilicent？’
　　Shewassilent。
　　`Come，speakupchild！’
　　`Ican’ttellnow，’sobbedshe。
　　`Butyoucansay“yes“or“no“aswellas“Ican’ttell——come！’
　　`Yes，’shewhispered，hangingherheadandblushingattheawfulacknowledgement。
　　`Curseyouforanimpertinenthuzzythen！’criedhe，throwingherfromhimwithsuchviolencethatshefellonherside；butshewasupagainbeforeeitherIorherbrothercouldcometoherassistance，andmadethebestofherwayoutoftheroomand，Isuppose，upstairs，withoutlossoftime。
　　ThenextobjectofassaultwasArthur，whosatopposite，andhadnodoubtrichlyenjoyedthewholescene。
　　`NowHuntingdon，’exclaimedhisirasciblefriend，`IWILLNOT
　　haveyousittingthereandlaughinglikeanidiot！’
　　`Oh，Hattersley！’criedhe，wipinghisswimmingeyes——`you’llbethedeathofme。’
　　`YesIwill，butnotasyousuppose：I’llhavetheheartoutofyourbody，man，ifyouirritatemewithanymoreofthatimbecilelaughter！
　　What！areyouatityet？——There！seeifthat’llsettleyou！’criedHattersley，snatchingupafootstoolandhurlingitattheheadofhishost；buthemissedhisaimandthelatterstillsatcollapsedandquakingwithfeeblelaughter，withthetearsrunningdownhisface；adeplorablespectacleindeed。Hattersleytriedcursingandswearing，butitwouldnotdo；hethentookanumberofbooksfromthetablebesidehimandthrewthem，onebyone，attheobjectofhiswrath，butArthuronlylaughedthemore；and，finally，Hattersleyrusheduponhiminaphrensy，and，seizinghimbytheshoulders，gavehimaviolentshaking，underwhichhelaughedandshriekedalarmingly。ButIsawnomore：IthoughtIhadwitnessedenoughofmyhusband’sdegradation；and，leavingAnnabellaandtheresttofollowwhentheypleased，Iwithdrew——butnottobed。DismissingRacheltoherrest，Iwalkedupanddownmyroom，inanagonyofmisery，forwhathadbeendone，andsuspense，notknowingwhatmightfurtherhappenorhoworwhenthatunhappycreaturewouldcomeuptobed。
　　Atlasthecame，slowlyandstumblingly，ascendingthestairs，supportedbyGrimsbyandHattersley，whoneitherofthemwalkedquitesteadilythemselves，butwerebothlaughingandjokingathim，andmakingnoiseenoughforalltheservantstohear。Hehimselfwasnolongerlaughingnow，butsickandstupid——Iwillwritenomoreaboutthat。