Suchdisgracefulscenesornearlysuchhavebeenrepeatedmorethanonce。Idon’tsaymuchtoArthuraboutit，forifIdid，itwoulddomoreharmthangood；butIlethimknowthatIintenselydislikesuchexhibitions；andeachtimehehaspromisedtheyshouldneveragainberepeated；
　　butIfearheislosingthelittleself-commandandself-respectheoncepossessed：formerly，hewouldhavebeenashamedtoactthus——atleast，beforeanyotherwitnessesthanhisbooncompanions，orsuchasthey。HisfriendHargrave，withaprudenceandself-governmentthatIenvyforhim，neverdisgraceshimselfbytakingmorethansufficienttorenderhimalittle`elevated，’andisalwaysthefirsttoleavethetable，afterLordLowborough，who，wiserstill，perseveresinvacatingthedining-roomimmediatelyafterus；butneveronce，sinceAnnabellaoffendedhimsodeeply，hasheenteredthedrawing-roombeforetherest；alwaysspendingtheinteriminthelibrary，whichItakecaretohavelightedforhisaccommodation——or，onfinemoonlightnights，inroamingaboutthegrounds。ButIthinksheregretshermisconduct，forshehasneverrepeateditsince，andoflateshehascomportedherselfwithwonderfulproprietytowardshim，treatinghimwithmoreuniformkindnessandconsiderationthaneverIhaveobservedhertodobefore。IdatethetimeofthisimprovementfromtheperiodwhensheceasedtohopeandstriveforArthur’sadmiration。
　　TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter32CHAPTERXXXIICOMPARISONS：INFORMATIONREJECTEDOctober5th——EstherHargraveisgettingafinegirl。Sheisnotoutoftheschool-roomyet，buthermotherfrequentlybringsherovertocallinthemorningswhenthegentlemenareout，andsometimesshespendsanhourortwoincompanywithhersister，andme，andthechildren；andwhenwegototheGrove，Ialwayscontrivetoseeher，andtalkmoretoherthantoanyoneelse，forIamverymuchattachedtomylittlefriend，andsoisshetome。Iwonderwhatshecanseetolikeinmethough，forIamnolongerthehappy，livelygirlIusedtobe；butshehasnoothersociety——savethatofheruncongenialmother，andhergovernessasartificialandconventionalapersonasthatprudentmothercouldprocuretorectifythepupil’snaturalqualities，and，nowandthen，hersubdued，quietsister。
　　Ioftenwonderwhatwillbeherlotinlife——andsodoesshe；butherspeculationsonthefuturearefullofbuoyanthope——soweremineonce。Ishuddertothinkofherbeingawakenedlikemetoasenseoftheirdelusivevanity。ItseemsasifIshouldfeelherdisappointmentevenmoredeeplythanmyown：Ifeel，almost，asifIwerebornforsuchafate，butsheissojoyousandfresh，solightofheartandfreeofspirit，andsoguilelessandunsuspectingtoo——oh，itwouldbecrueltomakeherfeelasIfeelnow，andknowwhatIhaveknown！
　　Hersistertremblesforhertoo。Yesterdaymorning，oneofOctober’sbrightest，loveliestdays，MilicentandIwereinthegardenenjoyingabriefhalfhourtogetherwithourchildren，whileAnnabellawaslyingonthedrawing-roomsofa，deepinthelastnewnovel。Wehadbeenrompingwiththelittlecreatures，almostasmerryandwildasthemselves，andnowpausedintheshadeofthetallcopperbeech，torecoverbreathandrectifyourhair，disorderedbytheroughplayandthefrolicsomebreeze——whiletheytoddledtogetheralongthebroad，sunnywalk；myArthursupportingthefeeblerstepsofherlittleHelen，andsagaciouslypointingouttoherthebrightestbeautiesoftheborderastheypassed，withsemi-articulateprattlethatdidaswellforherasanyothermodeofdiscourse。Fromlaughingattheprettysight，webegantotalkofthechildren’sfuturelife；andthatmadeusthoughtful。Webothrelapsedintosilentmusingasweslowlyproceededupthewalk；andIsupposeMilicentbyatrainofassociationswasledtothinkofhersister。
　　`Helen，’saidshe，`youoftenseeEsther，don’tyou？’
　　`Notveryoften。’
　　`ButyouhavemorefrequentopportunitiesofmeetingherthanIhave：andshelovesyouIknow，andreverencesyoutoo：thereisnobody’sopinionshethinkssomuchof，andshesaysyouhavemoresensethanmamma。’
　　`Thatisbecausesheisself-willed，andmyopinionsmoregenerallycoincidewithherownthanyourmamma’s。Butwhatthen，Milicent？’
　　`Well，sinceyouhavesomuchinfluencewithher，Iwishyouwouldseriouslyimpressituponher，never，onanyaccount，orforanybody’spersuasion，tomarryforthesakeofmoney，orrank，orestablishment，oranyearthlything，buttrueaffectionandwell-groundedesteem。’
　　`Thereisnonecessityforthat，’saidI：`forwehavehadsomediscourseonthatsubjectalready，andIassureyouherideasofloveandmatrimonyareasromanticasanyonecoulddesire。’
　　`Butromanticnotionswillnotdo：Iwanthertohavetruenotions。’
　　`Veryright，butinmyjudgment，whattheworldstigmatizesasromantic，isoftenmorenearlyalliedtothetruththaniscommonlysupposed；
　　for，ifthegenerousideasofyoutharetoooftenovercloudedbythesordidviewsofafter-life，thatscarcelyprovesthemtobefalse。’
　　`Well，butifyouthinkherideasarewhattheyoughttobe，strengthenthem，willyou？andconfirmthem，asfarasyoucan；forIhadromanticnotionsonce，and——Idon’tmeantosaythatIregretmylot，forIamquitesureIdon’t——but——’
　　`Iunderstandyou，’saidI；`youarecontentedforyourself，butyouwouldnothaveyoursistertosufferthesameasyou。
　　`No——orworse。ShemighthavefarworsetosufferthanI——forIamreallycontented，Helen，thoughyoumayn’tthinkit：IspeakthesolemntruthinsayingthatIwouldnotexchangemyhusbandforanymanonearth，ifImightdoitbythepluckingofthisleaf。’
　　`Well，Ibelieveyou：nowthatyouhavehim，youwouldnotexchangehimforanother；butthenyouwouldgladlyexchangesomeofhisqualitiesforthoseofbettermen。
　　`Yes；justasIwouldgladlyexchangesomeofmyownqualitiesforthoseofbetterwomen；forneitherhenorIareperfect，andIdesirehisimprovementasearnestlyasmyown。Andhewillimprove——don’tyouthinksoHelen？——he’sonlysixandtwentyyet。
　　`Hemay，’Ianswered。
　　`Hewill——heWILL！’repeatedshe。
　　`Excusethefaintnessofmyacquiescence，Milicent；Iwouldnotdiscourageyourhopesfortheworld，butminehavebeensooftendisappointed，thatIambecomeascoldanddoubtfulinmyexpectationsastheflattestofoctogenarians。’
　　`Andyetyoudohope，still——evenforMr。Huntingdon？’
　　`Ido，Iconfess——“even“forhim；foritseemsasiflifeandhopemustceasetogether。Andishesomuchworse，Milicent，thanMr。Hattersley？’
　　`Well，togiveyoumycandidopinion，Ithinkthereisnocomparisonbetweenthem。Butyoumustn’tbeoffended，Helen，foryouknowIalwaysspeakmymind；andyoumayspeakyourstoo；Ishan’tcare。’
　　`Iamnotoffended，love；andmyopinionisthatiftherebeacomparisonmadebetweenthetwo，thedifference，forthemostpart，iscertainlyinHattersley’sfavour。’
　　Milicent’sownhearttoldherhowmuchitcostmetomakethisacknowledgement；and，withachildlikeimpulse，sheexpressedhersympathybysuddenlykissingmycheek，withoutawordofreply，andthenturningquicklyawaycaughtupherbaby，andhidherfaceinitsfrock。Howodditisthatwesooftenweepforeachother’sdistresses，whenweshednotatearforourown！Herhearthadbeenfullenoughofherownsorrows，butitoverflowedattheideaofmine；——andItoo，shedtearsatthesightofhersympatheticemotion，thoughIhadnotweptformyselfformanyaweek。
　　ButMilicent’ssatisfactioninherchoice，isnotentirelyfeigned：
　　shereallylovesherhusband；anditistootruethathelosesnothingbycomparisonwithmine。Eitherheislessunbridledinhisexcesses，orowingtohisstronger，hardierframe，theyproduceamuchlessdeleteriouseffectuponhim；forheneverreduceshimselftoastateinanydegreeborderingonimbecility，andwithhimtheworsteffectofanight’sdebauchisaslightincreaseofirascibility，oritmaybeaseasonofsullenferocityonthefollowingmorning：thereisnothingofthatlost，depressingappearance——thatpeevish，ignoblefretfulness，thatwearsoneoutwithveryshameforthetransgressor。Butthen，itwasnotformerlysowithArthur：hecanbearlessnowthanhecouldatHattersley’sage；andifthelatterdoesnotreform，hispowersofendurancemaybeequallyimpairedwhenhehastriedthemaslong。Hehasfiveyearstheadvantageofhisfriend，andhisviceshavenotmasteredhimyet：hehasnotfoldedthemtohimandmadethemapartofhimself。Theyseemtositlooseuponhim，likeacloakthathecouldthrowasideatanymomentifhewould——buthowlongwillthatoptionbelefthim？——Thoughacreatureofpassionandsense，regardlessofthedutiesandthehigherprivilegesofintelligentbeings，heisnovoluptuary：
　　heprefersthemoreactiveandinvigoratinganimalenjoyments，tothoseofamorerelaxing，enervatingkind。Hedoesnotmakeascienceofthegratificationofhisappetiteseitherinthepleasuresofthetableoranythingelse；heeatsheartilywhatissetbeforehim，withoutdemeaninghimselfbyanyofthatabandonmenttothepalateandtheeye——thatunbecomingparticularityinapprovalordisapprovalwhichitissohatefultowitnessinthosewewouldesteem。Arthur，Ifear，wouldgivehimselfuptoluxuryasthechiefgood，andmightultimatelyplungeintothegrossestexcesses，butforthefearofirremediablybluntinghisappetites，anddestroyinghispowersoffurtherenjoyment。ForHattersley，gracelessruffianasheis，Ibelievethereismorereasonablegroundofhope；and——farbeitfrommetoblamepoorMilicentforhisdelinquencies——butIdothinkthatifshehadthecourageorthewilltospeakhermindaboutthem，andmaintainherpointunflinchingly，therewouldbemorechanceofhisreclamation，andhewouldbelikelytotreatherbetter，andlovehermore，intheend。
　　Iampartlyledtothinksobywhathesaidtomehimself，notmanydaysago——Ipurposetogiveheralittleadviceonthesubjectsometime；butstill，Ihesitatefromtheconsciousnessthatherideasanddispositionarebothagainstit，andifmycounselsfailedtodogood，theywoulddoharmbymakinghermoreunhappy。
　　Itwasonerainydaylastweek：mostofthecompanywerekillingtimeinthebilliard-room，butMilicentandIwerewithlittleArthurandHeleninthelibrary，andbetweenourbooks，ourchildren，andeachother，weexpectedtomakeoutaveryagreeablemorning。Wehadnotbeenthussecludedabovetwohours，however，whenMr。Hattersleycameinattracted，Isuppose，bythevoiceofhischildashewascrossingthehall，forheisprodigiouslyfondofher，andsheofhim。
　　Hewasredolentofthestables，wherehehadbeenregalinghimselfwiththecompanyofhisfellow-creatures，thehorses，eversincebreakfast。
　　Butthatwasnomattertomylittlenamesake：assoonasthecolossalpersonofherfatherdarkenedthedoor，sheutteredashrillscreamofdelight，and，quittinghermother’sside，rancrowingtowardshim——balancinghercoursewithout-stretchedarms，——and，embracinghisknee，threwbackherheadandlaughedinhisface。Hemightwelllooksmilinglydownuponthosesmall，fairfeaturesradiantwithinnocentmirth，thoseclear，blue，shiningeyes，andthatsoftflaxenhaircastbackuponthelittleivoryneckandshoulders。Didhenotthinkhowunworthyhewasofsuchapossession？I
　　fearnosuchideacrossedhismind。Hecaughtherup，andtherefollowedsomeminutesofveryroughplay，duringwhichitisdifficulttosaywhetherthefatherorthedaughterlaughedandshoutedtheloudest。Atlength，however，theboisterouspastimeterminated——suddenly，asmightbeexpected：
　　thelittleonewashurtandbegantocry；anditsungentleplayfellowtosseditintoitsmother’slap，biddingher`makeallstraight。’Ashappytoreturntothatgentlecomforterasithadbeentoleaveher，thechildnestledinherarmsandhusheditscriesinamoment；and，sinkingitslittlewearyheadonherbosom，soondroppedasleep。
　　Meantime，Mr。Hattersleystrodeuptothefire，and，interposinghisheightandbreadthbetweenusandit，stood，witharmsakimbo，expandinghischest，andgazingroundhimasifthehouseandallitsappurtenancesandcontentswerehisownundisputedpossessions。
　　`Deucedbadweatherthis！’hebegan。`There’llbenoshootingto-day，Iguess。’Then，suddenlyliftinguphisvoice，heregaleduswithafewbarsofarollickingsong，whichabruptlyceasing，hefinishedthetunewithawhistle，andthencontinued，——`IsayMrs。Huntingdon，whatafinestudyourhusbandhas！——notlargebutgood——I’vebeenlookingatthemabitthismorning；anduponmyword，BlackBess，andGreyTom，andthatyoungNimrodarethefinestanimalsI’veseenformanyaday！’Thenfollowedaparticulardiscussionoftheirvariousmerits，succeededbyasketchofthegreatthingsheintendedtodointhehorse-jockeylinewhenhisoldgovernorthoughtpropertoquitthestage——`NotthatIwishhimtoclosehisaccounts，addedhe；`theoldTrojaniswelcometokeephisbooksopenaslongashepleasesforme。’
　　`Ihopeso，indeed，Mr。Hattersley！’