`Yououghttoforgivehim,Mr。Hargrave,sinceheasksyou,’saidI。
`Doyousayso?ThenIwill!’And,smilingalmostfrankly,hesteppedforwardandofferedhishand。Itwasimmediatelyclaspedinthatofhisrelative,andthereconciliationwasapparentlycordialonbothsides。
`Theaffront,’continuedHargrave,turningtome,`owedhalfitsbitternesstothefactofitsbeingofferedinyourpresence;andsinceyoubidmeforgiveit,Iwill——andforgetittoo。’
`IguessthebestreturnIcanmake,willbetotakemyselfoff,’
mutteredHattersley,withabroadgrin。Hiscompanionsmiled;andhelefttheroom。Thisputmeonmyguard。Mr。Hargraveturnedseriouslytome,andearnestlybegan——
`DearMrs。Huntingdon,howIhavelongedfor,yetdreadedthishour!Donotbealarmed,’headded,formyfacewascrimsonwithanger;
`Iamnotabouttooffendyouwithanyuselessentreatiesorcomplaints。
Iamnotgoingtopresumetotroubleyouwiththementionofmyownfeelingsoryourperfections,butIhavesomethingtorevealtoyouwhichyououghttoknow,andwhich,yet,itpainsmeinexpressibly——’
`Thendon’ttroubleyourselftorevealit!’
`Butitisofimportance——
`Ifso,Ishallhearitsoonenough——speciallyifitisbadnews,asyouseemtoconsiderit。Atpresent,Iamgoingtotakethechildrentothenursery。
`Butcan’tyouring,andsendthem?’
`No;Iwanttheexerciseofaruntothetopofthehouse——ComeArthur。’
`Butyouwillreturn?’
`Notyet;don’twait。’
`Then,whenmayIseeyouagain?’
`Atlunch,’saidI,departingwithlittleHeleninonearm,andleadingArthurbythehand。
Heturnedaway,mutteringsomesentenceofimpatientcensureorcomplaint,inwhich`heartless’wastheonlydistinguishableword。
`WhatnonsenseisthisMr。Hargrave?’saidI,pausinginthedoorway。
`Whatdoyoumean?’
`Oh,nothing——Ididnotintendyoushouldhearmysoliloquy。Butthefactis,Mrs。Huntingdon,Ihaveadisclosuretomake——painfulformetoofferasforyoutohear——andIwantyoutogivemeafewminutesofyourattentioninprivate,atanytimeandplaceyouliketoappoint。
ItisfromnoselfishmotivethatIaskit,andnotforanycausethatcouldalarmyoursuper-humanpurity;therefore,youneednotkillmewiththatlookofcoldandpitilessdisdain。Iknowtoowellthefeelingswithwhichthebearersofbadtidingsarecommonlyregarded,notto——’
`Whatisthiswonderfulpieceofintelligence?’saidI,impatientlyinterruptinghim。`Ifitisanythingofrealimportance,speakitinthreewordsbeforeIgo。’
`InthreewordsIcannot。Sendthosechildrenaway,andstaywithme。
`No;keepyourbadtidingstoyourself。IknowitissomethingIdon’twanttohear,andsomethingyouwoulddispleasemebytelling。’
`YouhavedivinedtootrulyIfear;butstillsinceIknowit,Ifeelitmydutytodiscloseittoyou。’
`Oh,spareusboththeinfliction——andIwillexonerateyoufromtheduty。Youhaveofferedtotell;Ihaverefusedtohear:myignorancewillnotbechargedonyou。’
`Beitso——youshallnothearitfromme。Butiftheblowfalltoosuddenlyuponyouwhenitcomes,remember——Iwishedtosoftenit!’
Ilefthim。Iwasdeterminedhiswordsshouldnotalarmme。Whatcouldheofallmen,havetorevealthatwasofimportanceformetohear?Itwasnodoubtsomeexaggeratedtaleaboutmyunfortunatehusband,thathewishedtomakethemostoftoservehisownbadpurposes。
6th。Hehasnotalludedtothismomentousmysterysince;andI
haveseennoreasontorepentofmyunwillingnesstohearit。Thethreatenedblowhasnotbeenstruckyet;andIdonotgreatlyfearit。AtpresentIampleasedwithArthur:hehasnotpositivelydisgracedhimselfforupwardsofafortnight,andallthislastweek,hasbeensoverymoderateinhisindulgenceattable,thatIcanperceiveamarkeddifferenceinhisgeneraltemperandappearance。DareIhopethiswillcontinue?
TheTenantofWildfellHall:Chapter33CHAPTERXXXIIITWOEVENINGSSeventh。Yes,Iwillhope!To-night,IheardGrimsbyandHattersleygrumblingtogether,abouttheinhospitalityoftheirhost。TheydidnotknowIwasnear,forIhappenedtobestandingbehindthecurtain,inthebowofthewindow,watchingthemoonrisingovertheclumpoftall,darkelm-treesbelowthelawnandwonderingwhyArthurwassosentimentalastostandwithout,leaningagainsttheouterpillaroftheportico,apparentlywatchingittoo。
`So,Isupposewe’veseenthelastofourmerrycarousalsinthishouse,’saidMr。Hattersley,`Ithoughthisgood-fellowshipwouldn’tlastlong——But,’addedhe,laughing,`Ididn’texpectitwouldmeetitsendthisway。Iratherthoughtourprettyhostesswouldbesettingupherporcupinequills,andthreateningtoturnusoutofthehouse,ifwedidn’tmindourmanners。’
`Youdidn’tforeseethis,then?’answeredGrimsbywithagutturalchuckle。`Buthe’llchangeagainwhenhe’ssickofher。Ifwecomehereayearortwohence,weshallhaveallourownway,you’llsee。’
`Idon’tknow,’repliedtheother:`she’snotthestyleofwomanyousoontireof——butbethatasitmay,it’sdevilishprovokingnow,thatwecan’tbejolly,becausehechoosestobeonhisgoodbehaviour。’
`It’sallthesecursedwomen!’mutteredGrimsby。`They’retheverybaneoftheworld!Theybringtroubleanddiscomfortwherevertheycome,withtheirfalse,fairfacesandtheird——ddeceitfultongues。’
Atthisjuncture,Iissuedfrommyretreat,andsmilingonMr。
GrimsbyasIpassed,lefttheroomandwentoutinsearchofArthur。Havingseenhimbendhiscoursetowardstheshrubbery,Ifollowedhimthither,andfoundhimjustenteringtheshadowywalk。Iwassolightofheart,sooverflowingwithaffection,thatIspranguponhimandclaspedhiminmyarms。Thisstartlingconducthadasingulareffectuponhim:first,hemurmured,`Blessyoudarling!’andreturnedmycloseembracewithafervourlikeoldtimes,andthenhestarted,andinatoneofabsoluteterror,exclaimed`Helen!——Whatthedevilisthis!’andIsaw,bythefaintlightgleamingthroughtheovershadowingtree,thathewaspositivelypalewiththeshock。
Howstrangethattheinstinctiveimpulseofaffectionshouldcomefirst,andthentheshockofthesurprise!Itshowsatleastthattheaffectionisgenuine:heisnotsickofmeyet。
`Istartledyou,Arthur,’saidI,laughinginmyglee。`Hownervousyouare!’
`Whatthedeucedidyoudoitfor?’criedhe,quitetestily,extricatinghimselffrommyarms,andwipinghisforeheadwithhishandkerchief。`Goback,Helen——gobackdirectly!You’llgetyourdeathofcold!’
`Iwon’t——tillI’vetoldyouwhatIcamefor。Theyareblamingyou,Arthur,foryourtemperanceandsobriety,andI’mcometothankyouforit。Theysayitisall“thesecursedwomen。”andthatwearethebaneoftheworld;butdon’tletthemlaugh,orgrumbleyououtofyourgoodresolutions,oryouraffectionforme。’
Helaughed。Isqueezedhiminmyarmsagain,andcriedintearfulearnest——
`Duopersevere!——andI’llloveyoubetterthaneverIdidbefore!’
`Well,well,Iwill!’saidhe,hastilykissingme。`Therenow,go——Youmadcreature,howcouldyoucomeoutinyourlighteveningdress,thischillautumnnight?’
`Itisagloriousnight,’saidI。
`Itisanightthatwillgiveyouyourdeath,inanotherminute。
Runaway,do!’
`Doyouseemydeathamongthosetrees,Arthur?’saidI,forhewasgazingintentlyattheshrubs,asifhesawitcoming,andIwasreluctanttoleavehim,inmynew-foundhappinessandrevivalofhopeandlove。Buthegrewangryatmydelay,soIkissedhimandranbacktothehouse。
Iwasinsuchagoodhumourthatnight:MilicenttoldmeIwasthelifeoftheparty,andwhisperedshehadneverseenmesobrilliant。
Certainly,Italkedenoughfortwenty,andsmileduponthemall。Grimsby,Hattersley,Hargrave,LadyLowborough——allsharedmysisterlykindness。
Grimsbystaredandwondered;Hattersleylaughedandjestedinspiteofthelittlewinehehadbeensufferedtoimbibe,butstill,behavedaswellasheknewhow;HargraveandAnnabella,fromdifferentmotivesandindifferentwaysemulatedme,anddoubtlessbothsurpassedme,theformerinhisdiscursiveversatilityandeloquence,thelatterinboldnessandanimationatleast。Milicent,delightedtoseeherhusband,herbrotherandherover-estimatedfriendacquittingthemselvessowell,waslivelyandgaytoo,inherquietway。EvenLordLowboroughcaughtthegeneralcontagion:hisdark,greenisheyeswerelightedupbeneaththeirmoodybrows;hissombrecountenancewasbeautifiedbysmiles;alltracesofgloom,andproudorcoldreservehadvanishedforthetime;andheastonishedusall,notonlybyhisgeneralcheerfulnessandanimation,butbythepositiveflashesoftrueforceandbrillianceheemittedfromtimetotime。
Arthurdidnottalkmuch,buthelaughed,andlistenedtotherest,andwasinperfectgood-humour,thoughnotexcitedbywine。Sothat,altogetherwemadeaverymerry,innocentandentertainingparty。
9th。Yesterday,whenRachelcametodressmefordinner,Isawthatshehadbeencrying。Iwantedtoknowthecauseofit,butsheseemedreluctanttotell。Wassheunwell?No。Hadsheheardbadnewsfromherfriends?No。Hadanyoftheservantsvexedher?
`Oh,noMa’am!’sheanswered——’It’snotformyself。’
`Whatthen,Rachel?Haveyoubeenreadingnovels?’
`Blessyou,no!’saidshewithasorrowfulshakeofthehead;
andthenshesighedandcontinued,`Buttotellyouthetruth,Ma’am,I
don’tlikemaster’swaysofgoingon。’
`WhatdoyoumeanRachel?——He’sgoingonveryproperly——atpresent。
`Wellma’am,ifyouthinkso,it’sright。’
Andshewentondressingmyhair,inahurriedway,quiteunlikeherusualcalm,collectedmanner,——murmuring,halftoherself,shewassureitwasbeautifulhair,she`couldliketoseeemmatchit。’Whenitwasdone,shefondlystrokeditandgentlypattedmyhead。
`Isthataffectionateebullitionintendedformyhair,ormyself,nurse?’saidI,laughinglyturningrounduponher;——butatearwasevennowinhereye。
`Whatdoyoumean,Rachel?’Iexclaimed。
`Well,ma’am,Idon’tknow,——butif——’
`Ifwhat?’
`Well,ifIwasyou,Iwouldn’thavethatLadyLowboroughinthehouseanotherminute——notanotherminuteIwouldn’t!’
Iwasthunderstruck;butbeforeIcouldrecoverfromtheshocksufficientlytodemandanexplanation,Milicententeredmyroomsshefrequentlydoes,whensheisdressedbeforeme;andshestayedwithmetillitwastimetogodown。Shemusthavefoundmeaveryunsociablecompanionthistime,forRachel’slastwordsrunginmyears。Butstill,Ihoped——ItrustedtheyhadnofoundationbutinsomeidlerumouroftheservantsfromwhattheyhadseeninLadyLowborough’smannerlastmonth;or,perhaps,fromsomethingthathadpassedbetweentheirmasterandherduringherformervisit。Atdinner,InarrowlyobservedbothherandArthur,andsawnothingextraordinaryintheconductofeither——nothingcalculatedtoexcitesuspicion,exceptindistrustfulminds——whichminewasnot,andthereforeIwouldnotsuspect。
Almostimmediatelyafterdinner,Annabellawentoutwithherhusbandtosharehismoonlightramble,foritwasasplendideveninglikethelast。
Mr。Hargraveenteredthedrawing-roomalittlebeforetheothers,andchallengedmetoagameofchess。Hediditwithoutanyofthatsad,butproudhumilityheusuallyassumesinaddressingme,unlessheisexcitedwithwine。I
lookedathisfacetoseeifthatwasthecasenow。Hiseyemetminekeenly,butsteadily:therewassomethingabouthimIdidnotunderstand,butheseemedsoberenough。Notchoosingtoengagewithhim,IreferredhimtoMilicent。
`Sheplaysbadly,’saidhe:`Iwanttomatchmyskillwithyours。
Comenow!——youcan’tpretendyouarereluctanttolaydownyourwork——I
knowyounevertakeitupexcepttopassanidlehour,whenthereisnothingbetteryoucando。’
`Butchessplayersaresounsociable,’Iobjected;`theyarenocompanyforanybutthemselves。
`Thereisnoonehere——butMilicent,andshe——’
`Oh,Ishallbedelightedtowatchyou!’criedourmutualfriend——
`Twosuchplayers——itwillbequiteatreat!Iwonderwhichwillconquer。’
Iconsented。