Itwasgoneindeed。Williamhadspentitallout。Helovedhernomore,hethought,ashehadlovedher。
Henevercouldagain。Thatsortofregard,whichhehadprofferedtoherforsomanyfaithfulyears,can’tbeflungdownandshatteredandmendedsoastoshownoscars。
Thelittleheedlesstyranthadsodestroyedit。No,Williamthoughtagainandagain,“ItwasmyselfIdeludedandpersistedincajoling;hadshebeenworthyoftheloveIgaveher,shewouldhavereturneditlongago。Itwasafondmistake。Isn’tthewholecourseoflifemadeupofsuch?AndsupposeIhadwonher,shouldInothavebeendisenchantedthedayaftermyvictory?Whypine,orbeashamedofmydefeat?”Themorehethoughtofthislongpassageofhislife,themoreclearlyhesawhisdeception。”I’llgointoharnessagain。”hesaid,“anddomydutyinthatstateoflifeinwhichithaspleasedHeaventoplaceme。Iwillseethatthebuttonsoftherecruitsareproperlybrightandthatthesergeantsmakenomistakesintheiraccounts。IwilldineatmessandlistentotheScotchsurgeontellinghisstories。WhenI
amoldandbroken,Iwillgoonhalf-pay,andmyoldsistersshallscoldme。Ihavegeliebtundgelebet,asthegirlin’Wallenstein’says。Iamdone。Paythebillsandgetmeacigar:findoutwhatthereisattheplayto-night,Francis;to-morrowwecrossbytheBatavier。”Hemadetheabovespeech,whereofFrancisonlyheardthelasttwolines,pacingupanddowntheBoompjesatRotterdam。
TheBatavierwaslyinginthebasin。Hecouldseetheplaceonthequarter-deckwhereheandEmmyhadsatonthehappyvoyageout。WhathadthatlittleMrs。
Crawleytosaytohim?Psha;to-morrowwewillputtosea,andreturntoEngland,home,andduty!
AfterJuneallthelittleCourtSocietyofPumpernickelusedtoseparate,accordingtotheGermanplan,andmakeforahundredwatering-places,wheretheydrankatthewells,rodeupondonkeys,gambledattheredoutesiftheyhadmoneyandamind,rushedwithhundredsoftheirkindtogourmandiseatthetablesd’hote,andidledawaythesummer。TheEnglishdiplomatistswentofftoTeoplitzandKissingen,theirFrenchrivalsshutuptheirchancellerieandwhiskedawaytotheirdarlingBoulevarddeGand。TheTransparentreigningfamilytooktootothewaters,orretiredtotheirhuntinglodges。Everybodywentawayhavinganypretensionstopoliteness,andofcourse,withthem,DoctorvonGlauber,theCourtDoctor,andhisBaroness。TheseasonsforthebathswerethemostproductiveperiodsoftheDoctor’spractice——heunitedbusinesswithpleasure,andhischiefplaceofresortwasOstend,whichismuchfrequentedbyGermans,andwheretheDoctortreatedhimselfandhisspousetowhathecalleda“dib“inthesea。
Hisinterestingpatient,Jos,wasaregularmilch-cowtotheDoctor,andheeasilypersuadedthecivilian,bothforhisownhealth’ssakeandthatofhischarmingsister,whichwasreallyverymuchshattered,topassthesummeratthathideousseaporttown。Emmydidnotcarewhereshewentmuch。Georgyjumpedattheideaofamove。AsforBecky,shecameasamatterofcourseinthefourthplaceinsideofthefinebaroucheMr。Joshadbought,thetwodomesticsbeingontheboxinfront。
ShemighthavesomemisgivingsaboutthefriendswhomsheshouldmeetatOstend,andwhomightbelikelytotelluglystories——butbah!shewasstrongenoughtoholdherown。ShehadcastsuchananchorinJosnowaswouldrequireastrongstormtoshake。Thatincidentofthepicturehadfinishedhim。BeckytookdownherelephantandputitintothelittleboxwhichshehadhadfromAmeliaeversomanyyearsago。EmmyalsocameoffwithherLares——hertwopictures——andtheparty,finally,were,lodgedinanexceedinglydearanduncomfortablehouseatOstend。
ThereAmeliabegantotakebathsandgetwhatgoodshecouldfromthem,andthoughscoresofpeopleofBecky’sacquaintancepassedherandcuther,yetMrs。
Osborne,whowalkedaboutwithher,andwhoknewnobody,wasnotawareofthetreatmentexperiencedbythefriendwhomshehadchosensojudiciouslyasacompanion;indeed,Beckyneverthoughtfittotellherwhatwaspassingunderherinnocenteyes。
SomeofMrs。RawdonCrawley’sacquaintances,however,acknowledgedherreadilyenough,——perhapsmorereadilythanshewouldhavedesired。AmongthosewereMajorLoderunattached,andCaptainRooklateoftheRifles,whomightbeseenanydayontheDike,smokingandstaringatthewomen,andwhospeedilygotanintroductiontothehospitableboardandselectcircleofMr。JosephSedley。Infacttheywouldtakenodenial;
theyburstintothehousewhetherBeckywasathomeornot,walkedintoMrs。Osborne’sdrawing-room,whichtheyperfumedwiththeircoatsandmustachios,calledJos“Oldbuck。”andinvadedhisdinner-table,andlaughedanddrankforlonghoursthere。
“Whatcantheymean?”askedGeorgy,whodidnotlikethesegentlemen。”IheardtheMajorsaytoMrs。
Crawleyyesterday,’No,no,Becky,youshan’tkeeptheoldbucktoyourself。Wemusthavethebonesin,or,dammy,I’llsplit。’WhatcouldtheMajormean,Mamma?”
“Major!don’tcallhimMajor!”Emmysaid。”I’msureIcan’ttellwhathemeant。”Hispresenceandthatofhisfriendinspiredthelittleladywithintolerableterrorandaversion。Theypaidhertipsycompliments;theyleeredatheroverthedinner-table。AndtheCaptainmadeheradvancesthatfilledherwithsickeningdismay,norwouldsheeverseehimunlessshehadGeorgebyherside。
Rebecca,todoherjustice,neverwouldleteitherofthesemenremainalonewithAmelia;theMajorwasdisengagedtoo,andsworehewouldbethewinnerofher。
Acoupleofruffianswerefightingforthisinnocentcreature,gamblingforheratherowntable,andthoughshewasnotawareoftherascals’designsuponher,yetshefeltahorroranduneasinessintheirpresenceandlongedtofly。
Shebesought,sheentreatedJostogo。Nothe。Hewasslowofmovement,tiedtohisDoctor,andperhapstosomeotherleading-strings。AtleastBeckywasnotanxioustogotoEngland。
Atlastshetookagreatresolution——madethegreatplunge。Shewroteoffalettertoafriendwhomshehadontheothersideofthewater,aletteraboutwhichshedidnotspeakawordtoanybody,whichshecarriedherselftothepostunderhershawl;norwasanyremarkmadeaboutit,onlythatshelookedverymuchflushedandagitatedwhenGeorgymether,andshekissedhim,andhungoverhimagreatdealthatnight。Shedidnotcomeoutofherroomafterherreturnfromherwalk。
BeckythoughtitwasMajorLoderandtheCaptainwhofrightenedher。
“Shemustn’tstophere。”Beckyreasonedwithherself。
“Shemustgoaway,thesillylittlefool。Sheisstillwhimperingafterthatgabyofahusband——deadandservedright!thesefifteenyears。Sheshan’tmarryeitherofthesemen。It’stoobadofLoder。No;sheshallmarrythebamboocane,I’llsettleitthisverynight。”
SoBeckytookacupofteatoAmeliainherprivateapartmentandfoundthatladyinthecompanyofherminiatures,andinamostmelancholyandnervouscondition。Shelaiddownthecupoftea。
“Thankyou。”saidAmelia。
“Listentome,Amelia。”saidBecky,marchingupanddowntheroombeforetheotherandsurveyingherwithasortofcontemptuouskindness。”Iwanttotalktoyou。
Youmustgoawayfromhereandfromtheimpertinencesofthesemen。Iwon’thaveyouharassedbythem:andtheywillinsultyouifyoustay。Itellyoutheyarerascals:
menfittosendtothehulks。NevermindhowIknowthem。Iknoweverybody。Joscan’tprotectyou;heistooweakandwantsaprotectorhimself。Youarenomorefittoliveintheworldthanababyinarms。Youmustmarry,oryouandyourpreciousboywillgotoruin。Youmusthaveahusband,youfool;andoneofthebestgentlemenIeversawhasofferedyouahundredtimes,andyouhaverejectedhim,yousilly,heartless,ungratefullittlecreature!”
“Itried——Itriedmybest,indeedIdid,Rebecca。”saidAmeliadeprecatingly,“butIcouldn’tforget——“;andshefinishedthesentencebylookingupattheportrait。
“Couldn’tforgetHIM!”criedoutBecky,“thatselfishhumbug,thatlow-bredcockneydandy,thatpaddedbooby,whohadneitherwit,normanners,norheart,andwasnomoretobecomparedtoyourfriendwiththebamboocanethanyouaretoQueenElizabeth。Why,themanwaswearyofyou,andwouldhavejiltedyou,butthatDobbinforcedhimtokeephisword。Heownedittome。Henevercaredforyou。Heusedtosneeraboutyoutome,timeaftertime,andmadelovetometheweekafterhemarriedyou。”
“It’sfalse!It’sfalse!Rebecca。”criedoutAmelia,startingup。
“Lookthere,youfool。”Beckysaid,stillwithprovokinggoodhumour,andtakingalittlepaperoutofherbelt,sheopeneditandflungitintoEmmy’slap。”Youknowhishandwriting。Hewrotethattome——wantedmetorunawaywithhim——gaveitmeunderyournose,thedaybeforehewasshot——andservedhimright!”Beckyrepeated。
Emmydidnothearher;shewaslookingattheletter。
ItwasthatwhichGeorgehadputintothebouquetandgiventoBeckyonthenightoftheDuchessofRichmond’sball。Itwasasshesaid:thefoolishyoungmanhadaskedhertofly。
Emmy’sheadsankdown,andforalmostthelasttimeinwhichsheshallbecalledupontoweepinthishistory,shecommencedthatwork。Herheadfelltoherbosom,andherhandswentuptohereyes;andthereforawhile,shegavewaytoheremotions,asBeckystoodonandregardedher。Whoshallanalysethosetearsandsaywhethertheyweresweetorbitter?Wasshemostgrievedbecausetheidolofherlifewastumbleddownandshiveredatherfeet,orindignantthatherlovehadbeensodespised,orgladbecausethebarrierwasremovedwhichmodestyhadplacedbetweenherandanew,arealaffection?
“Thereisnothingtoforbidmenow。”shethought。
“Imaylovehimwithallmyheartnow。Oh,Iwill,Iwill,ifhewillbutletmeandforgiveme。”Ibelieveitwasthisfeelingrushedoveralltheotherswhichagitatedthatgentlelittlebosom。
Indeed,shedidnotcrysomuchasBeckyexpected——
theothersoothedandkissedher——araremarkofsympathywithMrs。Becky。ShetreatedEmmylikeachildandpattedherhead。”Andnowletusgetpenandinkandwritetohimtocomethisminute。”shesaid。
“I——Iwrotetohimthismorning。”Emmysaid,blushingexceedingly。Beckyscreamedwithlaughter——“Unbiglietto。”shesangoutwithRosina,“eccoloqua!”——thewholehouseechoedwithhershrillsinging。
Twomorningsafterthislittlescene,althoughthedaywasrainyandgusty,andAmeliahadhadanexceedinglywakefulnight,listeningtothewindroaring,andpityingalltravellersbylandandbywater,yetshegotupearlyandinsistedupontakingawalkontheDikewithGeorgy;
andthereshepacedastherainbeatintoherface,andshelookedoutwestwardacrossthedarksealineandovertheswollenbillowswhichcametumblingandfrothingtotheshore。Neitherspokemuch,exceptnowandthen,whentheboysaidafewwordstohistimidcompanion,indicativeofsympathyandprotection。
“Ihopehewon’tcrossinsuchweather。”Emmysaid。
“Ibettentoonehedoes。”theboyanswered。”Look,Mother,there’sthesmokeofthesteamer。”Itwasthatsignal,sureenough。
Butthoughthesteamerwasunderway,hemightnotbeonboard;hemightnothavegottheletter;hemightnotchoosetocome。Ahundredfearspouredoneovertheotherintothelittleheart,asfastasthewavesontotheDike。
Theboatfollowedthesmokeintosight。Georgyhadadandytelescopeandgotthevesselunderviewinthemostskilfulmanner。Andhemadeappropriatenauticalcommentsuponthemanneroftheapproachofthesteamerasshecamenearerandnearer,dippingandrisinginthewater。ThesignalofanEnglishsteamerinsightwentflutteringuptothemastonthepier。IdaresayMrs。
Amelia’sheartwasinasimilarflutter。
EmmytriedtolookthroughthetelescopeoverGeorge’sshoulder,butshecouldmakenothingofit。
Sheonlysawablackeclipsebobbingupanddownbeforehereyes。
Georgetooktheglassagainandrakedthevessel。
“Howshedoespitch!”hesaid。”Theregoesawaveslapoverherbows。There’sonlytwopeopleondeckbesidesthesteersman。There’samanlyingdown,anda——chapina——cloakwitha——Hooray!——it’sDob,byJingo!”
Heclappedtothetelescopeandflunghisarmsroundhismother。Asforthatlady,letussaywhatshedidinthewordsofafavouritepoet——“Dakruoengelasasa。”ShewassureitwasWilliam。Itcouldbenoother。Whatshehadsaidabouthopingthathewouldnotcomewasallhypocrisy。Ofcoursehewouldcome;whatcouldhedoelsebutcome?Sheknewhewouldcome。
Theshipcameswiftlynearerandnearer。Astheywentintomeetheratthelanding-placeatthequay,Emmy’skneestrembledsothatshescarcelycouldrun。Shewouldhavelikedtokneeldownandsayherprayersofthanksthere。Oh,shethought,shewouldbeallherlifesayingthem!
Itwassuchabaddaythatasthevesselcamealongsideofthequaytherewerenoidlersabroad,scarcelyevenacommissioneronthelookoutforthefewpassengersinthesteamer。ThatyoungscapegraceGeorgehadfledtoo,andasthegentlemanintheoldcloaklinedwithredstuffsteppedontotheshore,therewasscarcelyanyonepresenttoseewhattookplace,whichwasbrieflythis:
Aladyinadrippingwhitebonnetandshawl,withhertwolittlehandsoutbeforeher,wentuptohim,andinthenextminuteshehadaltogetherdisappearedunderthefoldsoftheoldcloak,andwaskissingoneofhishandswithallhermight;whilsttheother,Isuppose,wasengagedinholdinghertohisheartwhichherheadjustaboutreachedandinpreventingherfromtumblingdown。Shewasmurmuringsomethingabout——forgive——
dearWilliam——dear,dear,dearestfriend——kiss,kiss,kiss,andsoforth——andinfactwentonunderthecloakinanabsurdmanner。
WhenEmmyemergedfromit,shestillkepttightholdofoneofWilliam’shands,andlookedupinhisface。Itwasfullofsadnessandtenderloveandpity。Sheunderstooditsreproachandhungdownherhead。
“Itwastimeyousentforme,dearAmelia。”hesaid。
“Youwillnevergoagain,William?”
“No,never。”heanswered,andpressedthedearlittlesouloncemoretohisheart。