Iwasashamedtohavemadethatblunder。Iwasembarrassed;tocoveritIstartedtosayweusedtocombinethemlikethatwhereIcamefrom,butthoughtbetterofit,andstoodpat。
"Nowthen,"Isaid,"itamountstothis:waterisanindividual,ananimal,andisalive;removethehydrogenanditisananimalandisalive;theremainingoxygenisalsoanindividual,ananimal,andisalive。Recapitulation:thetwoindividualscombinedconstituteathirdindividual——andyeteachcontinuestobeanindividual。"
IglancedatFranklin,but……uponreflection,heldmypeace。I
couldhavepointedouttohimthatherewasmuteNatureexplainingthesublimemysteryoftheTrinitysoluminously——thateventhecommonestunderstandingcouldcomprehendit,whereasmanyatrainedmasterofwordshadlaboredtodoitwithspeechandfailed。ButhewouldnothaveknownwhatIwastalkingabout。AfteramomentIresumed:
"Listen——andseeifIhaveunderstoodyourightly,towit:Alltheatomsthatconstituteeachoxygenmoleculeareseparateindividuals,andeachisalivinganimal;alltheatomsthatconstituteeachhydrogenmoleculeareseparateindividuals,andeachoneisalivinganimal;eachdropofwaterconsistsofmillionsoflivinganimals,thedropitselfisanindividual,alivinganimal,andthewideoceanisanother。Isthatit?"
"Yes,thatiscorrect。"
"ByGeorge,itbeatstheband!"
Helikedtheexpression,andsetitdowninhistablets。
"Franklin,we’vegotitdownfine。Andtothink——thereareotheranimalsthatarestillsmallerthanahydrogenatom,andyetitissosmallthatittakesfivethousandofthemtomakeamolecule——amoleculesominutethatitcouldgetintoamicrobe’seyeandhewouldn’tknowitwasthere!"
"Yes,theweecreaturesthatinhabitthebodiesofusgermsandfeeduponus,androtuswithdisease:Ah,whatcouldtheyhavebeencreatedfor?
Theygiveuspain,theymakeourlivesmiserable,theymurderus—andwhereistheuseofitall,wherethewisdom?Ah,friendBkshp[microbicorthography],weliveinastrangeandunaccountableworld;ourbirthisamystery,ourlittlelifeisamystery,atrouble,wepassandareseennomore;allismystery,mystery,mystery;weknownotwhencewecame,norwhy;weknownotwhitherwego,norwhywego。Weonlyknowwewerenotmadeinvain,weonlyknowweweremadeforawisepurpose,andthatalliswell!Weshallnotbecastasideincontumelyandunblestafterallwehavesuffered。Letusbepatient,letusnotrepine,letustrust。Thehumblestofusiscaredfor——oh,believeit!——andthisfleetingstayisnottheend!"
Younoticethat?Hedidnotsuspectthathe,also,wasengagedingnawing,torturing,defiling,rotting,andmurderingafellow—creature——
heandalltheswarmingbillionsofhisrace。Noneofthemsuspectsit。
Thatissignificant。Itissuggestive——irresistiblysuggestive——
insistentlysuggestive。Ithintsatthepossibilitythattheprocessionofknownandlisteddevourersandpersecutorsisnotcomplete。Itsuggeststhepossibility,andsubstantiallythecertainty,thatmanishimselfamicrobe,andhisglobeablood—corpuscledriftingwithitsshiningbrethrenoftheMilkyWaydownaveinoftheMasterandMakerofallthings,whosebody,mayhap——glimpsedpart—wisefromtheearthbynight,andrecedingandlosttoviewinthemeasurelessremotenessesofspace——iswhatmennametheUniverse。
Yes,thatwasalloldtome,buttofindthatourlittleoldfamiliarmicrobeswerethemselvesloadedupwithmicrobesthatfedthem,enrichedthem,andpersistentlyandfaithfullypreservedthemandtheirpooroldtramp—planetfromdestruction——oh,thatwasnew,andtoodelicious!
Iwantedtoseethem!Iwasinafevertoseethem!Ihadlensestotwo—millionpower,butofcoursethefieldwasnobiggerthanaperson’sfinger—nail,andsoitwasn’tpossibletocompassaconsiderablespectacleoralandscapewiththem;whereaswhatIhadbeencravingwasathirty—footfield,whichwouldrepresentaspreadofseveralmilesofcountryandshowupthingsinawaytomakethemworthlookingat。TheboysandIhadoftentriedtocontrivethisimprovement,buthadfailed。
ImentionedthemattertotheDukeanditmadehimsmile。Hesaiditwasaquitesimplething—hehaditathome。Iwaseagertobargainforthesecret,buthesaiditwasatrifleandnotworthbargainingfor。
Hesaid:
"Hasn’titoccurredtoyouthatallyouhavetodoistobendanX—raytoanangle—valueof8。4andrefractitwithaparabolism,andthereyouare?"
Uponmyword,Ihadneverthoughtofthatsimplething!Youcouldhaveknockedmedownwithafeather。
Weriggedamicroscopeforanexhibitionatonceandputadropofmybloodunderit,whichgotmashedflatwhenthelensgotshutdownuponit。Theresultwasbeyondmydreams。Thefieldstretchedmilesaway,greenandundulating,threadedwithstreamsandroads,andborderedalldownthemellowingdistanceswithpicturesquehills。Andtherewasagreatwhitecityoftents;andeverywherewereparksofartilleryanddivisionsofcavalryandinfantrywaiting。Wehadhitaluckymoment,evidentlytherewasgoingtobeamarch—pastorsomethinglikethat。Atthefrontwherethechiefbannerflewtherewasalargeandshowytent,withshowyguardsonduty,andaboutitweresomeothertentsofaswellkind。
Thewarriors——particularlytheofficers——werelovelytolookat,theyweresotrim—builtandsogracefulandsohandsomelyuniformed。Theywerequitedistinct,vividlydistinct,foritwasafineday,andtheyweresoimmenselymagnifiedthattheylookedtobefullyafinger—nailhigh。——[Myownexpression,andaquitehappyone。IsaidtotheDuke:
"YourGrace,they’rejustaboutfinger—milers!"
"Howdoyoumean,m’lord?"
"This。YounoticethestatelyGeneralstandingtherewithhishandrestinguponthemuzzleofacannon?Well,ifyoucouldstickyourlittlefingerdownagainstthegroundalongsideofhimhisplumeswouldjustreachuptowhereyournailjoinstheflesh。"TheDukesaid"finger—milerswasgood"—goodandexact;andheafterwarduseditseveraltimeshimself。]——Everywhereyoucouldseeofficersmovingsmartlyabout,andtheylookedgay,butthecommonsoldierslookedsad。Manywife—
swinks["Swinks,"anatomicrace]anddaughter—swinksandsweetheart—
swinkswereabout——crying,mainly。Itseemedtoindicatethatthiswasacaseofwar,notasummer—campforexercise,andthatthepoorlabor—
swinkswerebeingtornfromtheirplanet—savingindustriestogoanddistributecivilizationandotherformsofsufferingamongthefeeblebenightedsomewhere;elsewhyshouldtheswinkessescry?
Thecavalrywasveryfine——shinyblackhorses,shapelyandspirited;andpresentlywhenaflashoflightstruckaliftedbugledeliveringacommandwhichwecouldn’thearandadivisioncametearingdownonagallopitwasastirringandgallantsight,untilthedustroseaninch——
theDukethoughtmore——andswalloweditupinarollingandtumblinglonggraycloud,withbrightweaponsglintingandsparklinginit。
Beforelongtherealbusinessoftheoccasionbegan。Abattalionofpriestsarrivedcarryingsacredpictures。Thatsettledit:thiswaswar;
thesefar—stretchingmassesoftroopswereboundforthefront。Theirlittlemonarchcameoutnow,thesweetestlittlethingthatevertravestiedthehumanshapeIthink,andhelifteduphishandsandblessedthepassingarmies,andtheylookedasgratefulastheycould,andmadesignsofhumbleandrealreverenceastheydriftedbytheholypictures。
Itwasbeautiful——thewholething;andwonderful,too,whenthoseserriedmassesswungintolineandwentmarchingdownthevalleyunderthelongarrayofflutteringflags。
Evidentlytheyweregoingsomewheretofightfortheirking,whichwasthelittlemannythatblessedthem;andtopreservehimandhisbrethrenthatoccupiedtheotherswelltents;tocivilizeandgraspavaluablelittleunwatchedcountryforthemsomewhere。Butthelittlefellowandhisbrethrendidn’tfallin——thatwasanoticeableparticular。Theydidn’tfight;theystayedathome,whereitwassafe,andwaitedfortheswag。
Verywell,then—whatoughtwetodo?Hadwenomoraldutytoperform?
Oughtwetoallowthiswartobegin?Wasitnotourdutytostopit,inthenameofrightandrighteousness?WasitnotourdutytoadministerarebuketothisselfishandheartlessFamily?
TheDukewasstruckbythat,andgreatlymoved。HefeltasIdidaboutit,andwasreadytodowhateverwasright,andthoughtweoughttopourboilingwaterontheFamilyandextinguishit,whichwedid。
Itextinguishedthearmies,too,whichwasnotintended。Webothregrettedthis,buttheDukesaidthatthesepeoplewerenothingtous,anddeservedextinctionanywayforbeingsopoor—spiritedastoservesuchaFamily。Hewasloyallydoingthelikehimself,andsowasI,butIdon’tthinkwethoughtofthat。Anditwasn’tjustthesame,anyway,becauseweweresooflaskies,andtheywereonlyswinks。
Franklinrealizesthatnoatomisdestructible;thatithasalwaysexistedandwillexistforever;buthethinksallatomswillgooutofthisworldsomedayandcontinuetheirlifeinahappierone。OldTolliverthinksnoatom’slifewilleverend,buthealsothinksBlitzowskiistheonlyworlditwilleversee,andthatatnotimeinitseternitywillitbeeitherworseofforbetteroffthanitisnowandalwayshasbeen。OfcoursehethinkstheplanetBlitzowskiisitselfeternalandindestructible——atanyratehesayshethinksthat。Itcouldmakemesad,onlyIknowbetter。D。T。willfetchBlitzyyetoneofthesedays。
Butthesearealienthoughts,humanthoughts,andtheyfalselyindicatethatIdonotwantthistramptogoonliving。Whatwouldbecomeofmeifheshoulddisintegrate?Mymoleculeswouldscatterallaroundandtakeupnewquartersinhundredsofplantsandanimals;eachwouldcarryitsspecialfeelingsalongwithit,eachwouldbecontentinitsnewestate,butwhereshouldIbe?Ishouldnothavearagofafeelingleft,aftermydisintegration——withhis——wascomplete。Nothingtothinkwith,nothingtogrieveorrejoicewith,nothingtohopeordespairwith。
Therewouldbenomoreme。Ishouldbemusingandthinkinganddreamingsomewhereelse——insomedistantanimalmaybe——perhapsacat——byproxyofmyoxygenIshouldberagingandfuminginsomeothercreatures——arat,perhaps;IshouldbesmilingandhopinginstillanotherchildofNature——heirtomyhydrogen——aweed,oracabbage,orsomething;mycarbonicacidambitionwouldbedreamingdreamsinsomelowlywood—violetthatwaslongingforashowycareer;thusmydetailswouldbedoingasmuchfeelingasever,butIshouldnotbeawareofit,itwouldallbegoingonforthebenefitofthoseothers,andInotinitatall。Ishouldbegraduallywastingaway,atombyatom,moleculebymolecule,astheyearswenton,andatlastIshouldbealldistributed,andnothingleftofwhathadoncebeenMe。Itiscurious,andnotwithoutimpressiveness:I
shouldstillbealive,intenselyalive,butsoscatteredthatIwouldnotknowit。Ishouldnotbedead——no,onecannotcallitthat——butIshouldbethenextthingtoit。Andtothinkwhatcenturiesandagesandaeonswoulddriftovermebeforethedisintegrationwasfinished,thelastboneturnedtogasandblownaway!IwishIknewwhatitisgoingtofeellike,toliehelplesssuchaweary,wearytime,andseemyfacultiesdecayanddepart,onebyone,likelightswhichburnlow,andflickerandperish,untiltheever—deepeninggloomanddarknesswhich——oh,away,awaywiththesehorrors,andletmethinkofsomethingwholesome!
Mytrampisonly85;thereisgoodhopethathewilllivetenyearslonger——500,000ofmymicrobeyears。Somayitbe。
Oh,dear,weareallsowise!Eachofusknowsitall,andknowsheknowsitall——therest,toaman,arefoolsanddeluded。Onemanknowsthereisahell,thenextoneknowsthereisn’t;onemanknowshightariffisright,thenextmanknowsitisn’t;onemanknowsmonarchyisbest,thenextoneknowsitisn’t;oneageknowstherearewitches,thenextoneknowstherearen’t;onesectknowsitsreligionistheonlytrueone,therearesixty—fourthousandfivehundredmillionsectsthatknowitisn’tso。Thereisnotamindpresentamongthismultitudeofverdict—deliverersthatisthesuperiorofthemindsthatpersuadeandrepresenttherestofthedivisionsofthemultitude。Yetthissarcasticfactdoesnothumblethearrogancenordiminishtheknow—it—allbulkofasingleverdict—makerofthelotbysomuchasashade。Mindisplainlyanass,butitwillbemanyagesbeforeitfindsitout,nodoubt。Whydowerespecttheopinionsofanymanoranymicrobethateverlived?I
swearIdon’tknow。WhydoIrespectmyown?Well——thatisdifferent。
APPENDIXW
LITTLEBESSIEWOULDASSISTPROVIDENCE
SeeChaptercclxxxii
[Itisdull,andIneedwholesomeexcitementsanddistractions;soIwillgolightlyexcursioningalongtheprimrosepathoftheology。]
LittleBessiewasnearlythreeyearsold。Shewasagoodchild,andnotshallow,notfrivolous,butmeditativeandthoughtful,andmuchgiventothinkingoutthereasonsofthingsandtryingtomakethemharmonizewithresults。Onedayshesaid:
"Mama,whyistheresomuchpainandsorrowandsuffering?Whatisitallfor?"
Itwasaneasyquestion,andmamahadnodifficultyinansweringit:
"Itisforourgood,mychild。InHiswisdomandmercytheLordsendsustheseafflictionstodisciplineusandmakeusbetter。"
"IsitHethatsendsthem?"
"Yes。"
"DoesHesendallofthem,mama?"
"Yes,dear,allofthem。Noneofthemcomesbyaccident;Healonesendsthem,andalwaysoutofloveforus,andtomakeusbetter。"
"Isn’titstrange?"
"Strange?Why,no,Ihaveneverthoughtofitinthatway。Ihavenotheardanyonecallitstrangebefore。Ithasalwaysseemednaturalandrighttome,andwiseandmostkindlyandmerciful。"
"Whofirstthoughtofitlikethat,mama?Wasityou?"
"Ohno,child,Iwastaughtit。"
"Whotaughtyouso,mama?"
"Why,really,Idon’tknow——Ican’tremember。Mymother,Isuppose;orthepreacher。Butit’sathingthateverybodyknows。"
"Well,anyway,itdoesseemstrange。DidHegiveBillyNorristhetyphus?"
"Yes。"
"Whatfor?"
"Why,todisciplinehimandmakehimgood。"
"Buthedied,mama,andsoitcouldn’tmakehimgood。"
"Well,then,Isupposeitwasforsomeotherreason。Weknowitwasagoodreason,whateveritwas。"
"Whatdoyouthinkitwas,mama?"
"Oh,youasksomanyquestions!Ithinkitwastodisciplinehisparents。"
"Well,then,itwasn’tfair,mama。Whyshouldhislifebetakenawayfortheirsake,whenhewasn’tdoinganything?"
"Oh,Idon’tknow!Ionlyknowitwasforagoodandwiseandmercifulreason。"
"Whatreason,mama?"
"Ithink——Ithink—well,itwasajudgment;itwastopunishthemforsomesintheyhadcommitted。"
"Buthewastheonethatwaspunished,mama。Wasthatright?"
"Certainly,certainly。Hedoesnothingthatisn’trightandwiseandmerciful。Youcan’tunderstandthesethingsnow,dear,butwhenyouaregrownupyouwillunderstandthem,andthenyouwillseethattheyarejustandwise。"
Afterapause:
"DidHemaketherooffallinonthestrangerthatwastryingtosavethecrippledoldwomanfromthefire,mama?"
"Yes,mychild。Wait!Don’taskmewhy,becauseIdon’tknow。Ionlyknowitwastodisciplinesomeone,orbeajudgmentuponsomebody,ortoshowHispower。"
"ThatdrunkenmanthatstuckapitchforkintoMrs。Welch’sbabywhen——"
"Nevermindaboutit,youneedn’tgointoparticulars;itwastodisciplinethechild——thatmuchiscertain,anyway。"
"Mama,Mr。Burgesssaidinhissermonthatbillionsoflittlecreaturesaresentintoustogiveuscholera,andtyphoid,andlockjaw,andmorethanathousandothersicknessesand——mama,doesHesendthem?"
"Oh,certainly,child,certainly。Ofcourse。"
"Whatfor?"
"Oh,todisciplineus!Haven’tItoldyouso,overandoveragain?"
"It’sawfulcruel,mama!Andsilly!andifI————"
"Hush,oh,hush!Doyouwanttobringthelightning?"
"Youknowthelightningdidcomelastweek,mama,andstruckthenewchurch,andburntitdown。Wasittodisciplinethechurch?"
Wearily。"Oh,Isupposeso。"
"Butitkilledahogthatwasn’tdoinganything。Wasittodisciplinethehog,mama?"
"Dearchild,don’tyouwanttorunoutandplayawhile?Ifyouwouldliketo————"
"Mama,onlythink!Mr。Hollistersaysthereisn’tabird,orfish,orreptile,oranyotheranimalthathasn’tgotanenemythatProvidencehassenttobiteitandchaseitandpesteritandkillitandsuckitsbloodanddisciplineitandmakeitgoodandreligious。Isthattrue,mother——
becauseifitistruewhydidMr。Hollisterlaughatit?"
"ThatHollisterisascandalousperson,andIdon’twantyoutolistentoanythinghesays。"
"Why,mama,heisveryinteresting,andIthinkhetriestobegood。Hesaysthewaspscatchspidersandcramthemdownintotheirnestsintheground——alive,mama!——andtheretheyliveandsufferdaysanddaysanddays,andthehungrylittlewaspschewingtheirlegsandgnawingintotheirbelliesallthetime,tomakethemgoodandreligiousandpraiseGodforHisinfinitemercies。IthinkMr。Hollisterisjustlovely,andeversokind;forwhenIaskedhimifhewouldtreataspiderlikethathesaidhehopedtobedamnedifhewould;andthenhe————Dearmama,haveyoufainted!Iwillrunandbringhelp!Nowthiscomesofstayingintownthishotweather。"
APPENDIXX
ACHRONOLOGICALLISTOFMARKTWAIN’SWORK
PUBLISHEDANDOTHERWISE——FROM1851—1910
Note1。——Thisisnotadetailedbibliography,butmerelyagenerallistofMarkTwain’sliteraryundertakings,intheorderofperformance,showingwhen,andusuallywhere,theworkwasdone,whenandwherefirstpublished,etc。AnexcellentMarkTwainbibliographyhasbeencompiledbyMr。MerleJohnson,towhomacknowledgmentsaredueforimportantitems。
Note2。——Onlyafewofthemoreimportantspeechesarenoted。Volumesthataremerelycollectionsoftalesorarticlesarenotnoted。
Note3。——Titlesareshortenedtothosemostcommonlyinuse,as"HuckFinn"or"Huck"for"TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn。"
Namesofperiodicalsareabbreviated。
TheinitialsU。E。standforthe"UniformEdition"ofMarkTwain’sworks。
Thechapternumberornumbersinthelinewiththedatereferstotheplaceinthisworkwheretheitemsarementioned。
1851。
SeeChapterxviiiofthiswork。
EditedtheHannibalJournalduringtheabsenceoftheownerandeditor,OrionClemens。
WrotelocalitemsfortheHannibalJournal。
BurlesqueofarivaleditorintheHannibalJournal。
WrotetwosketchesforTheSat。Eve。PostPhiladelphia。
ToMARYINH—l。HannibalJournal。
1852—53。
SeeChapterxviii。
JIMWOLFEANDTHEFIRE——HannibalJournal。
BurlesqueofarivaleditorintheHannibalJournal。
1853。
SeeChapterxix。
Wroteobituarypoems——notpublished。
Wrotefirstlettershome。
1855—56。
SeeChaptersxxandxxi。
Firstafter—dinnerspeech;deliveredataprinters’banquetinKeokuk,Iowa。
LettersfromCincinnati,November16,1856,signed"Snodgrass"——
SaturdayPostKeokuk。
1857。
SeeChapterxxi。
LettersfromCincinnati,March16,1857,signed"Snodgrass"——SaturdayPostKeokuk。
1858。
AnonymouscontributionstotheNewOrleansCrescentandprobablytoSt。
Louispapers。
1859。
SeeChapterxxvii;alsoAppendixB。
BurlesqueofCapt。IsaiahSellers——TrueDeltaNewOrleans,May8or9。
1861。
SeeChaptersxxxiiitoxxxv。
Lettershome,publishedinTheGateCityKeokuk。
1862。
SeeChaptersxxxvtoxxxviii。
Lettersandsketches,signed"Josh,"fortheTerritorialEnterpriseVirginiaCity,Nevada。
REPORTOFTHELECTUREOFPROF。PERSONALPRONOUN——Enterprise。
REPORTOFAFOURTHOFJULYORATION——Enterprise。
THEPETRIFIEDMAN——Enterprise。
LocalnewsreporterfortheEnterprisefromAugust。
1863。
SeeChaptersxlitoxliii;alsoAppendixC。
ReportedtheNevadaLegislaturefortheEnterprise。
Firstusedthename"MarkTwain,"February2。
ADVICETOTHEUNRELIABLE——Enterprise。
CURINGACOLD——Enterprise。U。E。
INFORMATIONFORTHEMILLION——Enterprise。
ADVICETOGOODLITTLEGIRLS——Enterprise。
THEDUTCHNICKMASSACRE——Enterprise。
ManyotherEnterprisesketches。
THEAGEDPILOTMANpoem——"ROUGHINGIT。"U。E。
1864。
See。Chaptersxlivtoxlvii。
ReportedtheNevadaLegislaturefortheEnterprise。
Speechas"GovernoroftheThirdHouse。"
LetterstoNewYorkSundayMercury。
LocalreporterontheSanFranciscoCall。
ArticlesandsketchesfortheGoldenEra。
ArticlesandsketchesfortheCalifornian。
DailylettersfromSanFranciscototheEnterprise。
SeveraloftheEraandCaliforniansketchesappearinSKETCHESNEWAND
OLD。U。E。
1865。
SeeChaptersxlixtoli;alsoAppendixE。
NotesfortheJumpingFrogstory;Angel’sCamp,February。
Sketchesetc。,fortheGoldenEraandCalifornian。
DailylettertotheEnterprise。
THEJUMPINGFROGSanFranciscoSaturdayPress。NewYork,November18。U。E。
1866。
SeeChaptersliitolv;alsoAppendixD。
DailylettertotheEnterprise。
SandwichIslandletterstotheSacramentoUnion。
LectureontheSandwichIslands,SanFrancisco,October2。
FORTY—THREEDAYSINANOPENBOAT——Harper’sMagazine,DecembererrorinsignaturemadeitMarkSwain。
1867。
SeeChapterslviitolxv;alsoAppendicesE,F,andG。
LetterstoAltaCaliforniafromNewYork。
JIMWOLFEANDTHECATS——N。Y。SundayMercury。
THEJUMPINGFROG——book,publishedbyCharlesHenryWebb,May1。U。E。
LecturedatCooperUnion,May,’66。
LetterstoAltaCaliforniaandNewYorkTribunefromtheQuakerCity——
HolyLandexcursion。
LettertoNewYorkHeraldonthereturnfromtheHolyLand。
After—dinnerspeechon"Women"Washington。
BeganarrangementforthepublicationofTHEINNOCENTSABROAD。
1868。
SeeChapterslxvitolxix;alsoAppendicesHandI。
Newspaperletters,etc。,fromWashington,forNewYorkCitizen,Tribune,Herald,andotherpapersandperiodicals。
PreparingQuakerCitylettersinWashingtonandSanFranciscoforbookpublication。
CAPTAINWAKEMAN’SSTORMFIELD’SVISITTOHEAVENSanFrancisco,publishedHarper’sMagazine,December,1907—January,1908alsobook,Harpers。
LecturedinCaliforniaandNevadaonthe"HolyLand,"July2。
S’CAT!AnonymousarticleonT。K。BeecherElmira,publishedinlocalpaper。
Lecture—tour,season1868—69。
1869。
SeeChapterslxxtolxxni。
THEINNOCENTSABROAD——bookAm。Pub。Co。,July20。U。E。
Boughtone—thirdownershipintheBuffaloExpress。
Contributededitorials,sketches,etc。,totheExpress。
ContributedsketchestoPackard’sMonthly,Wood’sMagazine,etc。
Lecture—tour,season1869—70。
1870。
SeeChapterslxxivtolxxx;alsoAppendixJ。
ContributedvariousmattertoBuffaloExpress。
Contributedvariousmatterundergeneralheadof"MEMORANDA"toGalaxyMagazine,MaytoApril,’7I。
ROUGHINGITbeguninSeptemberBuffalo。
SHEM’SDIARYBuffalounfinished。
GOD,ANCIENTANDMODERNunpublished。
1871。
SeeChapterslxxxiandlxxxii;alsoAppendixK。
MEMORANDAcontinuedinGalaxytoApril。
AUTOBIOGRAPHYANDFIRSTROMANCE——[THEFIRSTROMANCEhadappearedintheExpressinx87o。LaterincludedinSKETCHES。]———bookletSheldon&Co。。
U。E。
ROUGHINGITfinishedQuarryFarm。
Ruloffletter——Tribune。
WroteseveralsketchesandlecturesQuarryFarm。
Westernplayunfinished。
Lecture—tour,season1871—72。
1872。
SeeChapterslxxxiiitolxxxvii;alsoAppendixL。
ROUGHINGIT——bookAm。Pub。Co。,February。U。E。
THEMARKTWAINSCRAP—BOOKinventedSaybrook,Connecticut。
TOMSAWYERbegunasaplaySaybrook,Connecticut。
Afewunimportantsketchespublishedin"Practicaljokes,"etc。
BeganabookonEnglandLondon。
1873。
SeeChapterslxxxviiitoxcii。
LettersontheSandwichIslands—Tribune,January3and6。
THEGILDEDAGEwithC。D。Warner——bookAm。Pub。Co,December。U。E。
THELICENSEOFTHEPRESS——paperforTheMondayEveningClub。
LecturedinLondon,October18andseason1873—74。
1874。
SeeChaptersxciiitoxcviii;alsoAppendixM。
TOMSAWYERcontinuedinthenewstudyatQuarryFarm。
ATRUESTORYQuarryFarm—Atlantic,November。U。E。
FABLESQuarryFarm。U。E。
COLONELSELLERS——playQuarryFarmperformedbyJohnT。Raymond。
UNDERTAKER’SLOVE—STORYQuarryFarmunpublished。
OLDTIMESONTHEMISSISSIPPIHartfordAtlantic,JanuarytoJuly,1875。
MonarchylettertoMrs。Clemens,dated1935Boston。
1875。
SeeChaptersctociv;alsoAppendixN。
UNIVERSALSUFFRAGE——paperforTheMondayEveningClub。
SKETCHESNEWANDOLD——bookAm。Pub。Co。,July。U。E。
TOMSAWYERconcludedHartford。
THECURIOUSREP。OFGONDOUR——Atlantic,Octoberunsigned。
PUNCH,CONDUCTOR,PUNCH——Atlantic,February,1876。U。E。
THESECONDADVENTunfinished。
THEMYSTERIOUSCHAMBERunfinished。
AUTOBIOGRAPHYOFADAMNFOOLunfinished。
PetitionforInternationalCopyright。
1876。
SeeChapterscvitocx。
PerformedinTHELOANOFTHELOVERasPeterSpuykHartford。
CARNIVALOFCRIME——paperforTheMondayEveningClub——Atlantic,June。
U。E。
HUCKFINNbegunQuarryFarm。
CANVASSER’SSTORYQuarryFarm——Atlantic,December。U。E。
"1601"QuarryFarm,privatelyprinted。[AndnoteditedbyLivy。D。W。]
AHSINwithBretHarte——play,Hartford。
TOMSAWYER——bookAm。Pub。Co。,December。U。E。
Speechon"TheWeather,"NewEnglandSociety,December22。
1877。
SeeChapterscxiitocxv;alsoAppendixO。
LOVESOFALONZOFITZ—CLARENCE,ETC。QuarryFarm——Atlantic。
IDLEEXCURSIONQuarryFarm——Atlantic,October,November,December。
U。E。
SIMONWHEELER,DETECTIVE——playQuarryFarmnotproduced。
PRINCEANDPAUPERbegunQuarryFarm。
WhittierbirthdayspeechBoston,December。
1878。
SeeChapterscxviitocxx。
MAGNANIMOUSINCIDENTHartford——Atlantic,May。U。E。
ATRAMPABROADHeidelbergandMunich。
MENTALTELEGRAPHY——Harper’sMagazine,December,1891。U。E。
GAMBETTADUEL——Atlantic,February,1879includedinTRAMP。U。E。
REV。INPITCAIRN——Atlantic,March,1879。U。E。
STOLENWHITEELEPHANT——bookOsgood&Co。,1882。U。E。
ThethreeitemslastnamedwerealloriginallyapartoftheTRAMP
ABROAD。
1879。
SeeChapterscxxitocxxiv;alsoChaptercxxxivandAppendixP。
ATRAMPABROADcontinuedParis,Elmira,andHartford。
AdammonumentschemeElmira。
Speechon"TheBabies"Grantdinner,Chicago,November。
Speechon"Plagiarism"Holmesbreakfast,Boston,December。
1880。
SeeChapterscxxvtocxxxii。
PRINCEANDPAUPERconcludedHartfordandElmira。
HUCKFINNcontinuedQuarryFarm,Elmira。
ACATSTORYQuarryFarmunpublished。
ATRAMPABROAD——bookAm。Pub。Co。,March13。U。E。
EDWARDMILLSANDGEO。BENTONHartford——Atlantic,August。U。E。
MRS。McWILLIAMSANDTHELIGHTNINGHartford——Atlantic,September。U。E。
1881。
SeeChapterscxxxivtocxxxvii。
ACURIOUSEXPERIENCE——Century,November。U。E。
ABIOGRAPHYOF—————unfinished。
PRINCEANDPAUPER——bookOsgoodR;CO。,December。
BURLESQUEETIQUETTEunfinished。[IncludedinLETTERSFROMTHEEARTH
D。W。]
1882。
SeeChapterscxlandcxli。
LIFEONTHEMISSISSIPPIElmiraandHartford。
1883。
SeeChapterscxliitocxlviii。
LIFEONTHEMississippi——bookOsgoodRCO。,May。U。E。
WHATIsHAPPINESS?——paperforTheMondayEveningClub。
IntroductiontoPortugueseconversationbookHartford。
HUCKFINNconcludedQuarryFarm。
HISTORYGAMEQuarryFarm。
AMERICANCLAIMANTwithW。D。Howells——playHartford,producedbyA。P。Burbank。
DramatizedTOMSAWYERandPRINCEANDPAUPERnotproduced。
1884。
SeeChapterscxlixtocliii。
EmbarkedinpublishingwithCharlesL。Webster。
THECARSONFOOTPRINTS——theSanFranciscan。
HUCKFINN——bookCharlesL。Webster&Co。,December。U。E。
Platform—readingswithGeorgeW。Cable,season’84—’85。
1885。
SeeChaptersclivtoclvii。
ContractedforGeneralGrant’sMemoirs。
ACAMPAIGNTHATFAILED——Century,December。U。E。
THEUNIVERSALTINKER——Century,DecemberopenlettersignedX。Y。Z。
Letteronthegovernmentofchildren——ChristianUnion。
KIDITCHINchildren’spoem。
1886。
SeeChaptersclixtoclxi;alsoAppendixQ。
IntroducedHenryM。StanleyBoston。
CONNECTICUTYANKEEbegunHartford。
ENGLISHASSHEISTAUGHT——Century,April,1887。
LUCK——Harper’s,August,1891。
GENERALGRANTANDMATTHEWARNOLD——ArmyandNavydinnerspeech。
1887。
SeeChaptersclxiitoclxiv;alsoAppendixR。
MEISTERSCHAFT——playHartford—Century,January,1888。U。E。
KNIGHTSOFLABOR——essaynotpublished。
ToTHEQUEENOFENGLAND——Harper’sMagazine,December。U。E。
CONSISTENCY——paperforTheMondayEveningClub。
1888。
SeeChaptersclxvtoclxviii。
Introductoryfor"UnsentLetters"unpublished。
MasterofArtsdegreefromYale。
YaleAlumniaddressunpublished。
CopyrightcontroversywithBranderMatthews——PrincetonReview。
RepliestoMatthewArnold’sAmericancriticismsunpublished。
YANKEEcontinuedElmiraandHartford。
IntroductionofNyeandRileyBoston。
1889。
SeeChaptersclxixtoclxxiii;alsoAppendixS。
AMAJESTICLITERARYFOSSILHarper’sMagazine,February,1890。U。E。
HUCKANDTOMAMONGTHEINDIANSunfinished。
IntroductiontoYANKEEnotused。
LETTERToELSIELESLIE——StNicholas,February,1890。
CONNECTICUTYANKEE——bookWebster&Co。,December。U。E。
1890。
SeeChaptersclxxiitoclxxiv。
LettertoAndrewLangaboutEnglishCriticism。
Noimportantliterarymattersthisyear。MarkTwainengagedpromotingthePaigetypesetting—machine。
1891。
SeeChaptersclxxvtoclxxvii。
AMERICANCLAIMANTHartfordsyndicated;alsobookWebster&Co。,May,1892。U。E。
EuropeanletterstoNewYorkSun。
DOWNTHERHONEunfinished。
KORNERSTRASSEunpublished。
1892。
SeeChaptersclxxxtoclxxxii。
THEGERMANCHICAGOBerlin——Sun。U。E。
ALLKINDSOFSHIPSatsea。U。E。
TomSAWYERABROADNauheim——St。Nicholas,November,’93,toApril,’94。
U。E。
THOSEEXTRAORDINARYTWINSNauheim。U。E。
PUDD’NHEADWILSONNauheimandFlorence——Century,December,’93,toJune,’94U。E。
$100,000BANK—NOTEFlorence——Century,January,’93。U。E。
1893。
SeeChaptersclxxxiiitoclxxxvii。
JOANOFARCbegunatVillaViviani,FlorenceandcompleteduptotheraisingoftheSiegeofOrleans。
CALIFORNIAN’STALEFlorenceLiberScriptorum,alsoHarper’s。
ADAM’SDIARYFlorence——NiagaraBook,alsoHarper’s。
ESQUIMAUMAIDEN’SROMANCE——Cosmopolitan,November。U。E。
ISHELIVINGORISHEDEAD?——Cosmopolitan,September。U。E。
TRAVELINGWITHAREFORMER——Cosmopolitan,December。U。E。
INDEFENSEOFHARRIETSHELLEYFlorence——N。A。—Rev。,July,’94。U。E。
FENIMORECOOPER’SLITERARYOFFENSES——[Thismaynothavebeenwrittenuntilearlyin1894。]——Players,NewYork——N。A。Rev。,July,’95U。E。
1894。
SeeChaptersclxxxviiitocxc。
JOANOFARCcontinuedEtretatandParis。
WHATPAULBOURGETTHINKSOFUSEtretat——N。A。Rev。,January,’95U。E。
TOMSAWYERABROAD——bookWebster&Co。,April。U。E。
PUDD’NHEADWILSON——bookAm。Pub。Co。,November。U。E。
ThefailureofCharlesL。Webster&Co。,April18。
THEDERELICT——poemParisunpublished。
1895。
SeeChaptersclxxxixandcxcii。
JOANOFARCfinishedParis,January28,Harper’sMagazine,ApriltoDecember。
MENTALTELEGRAPHYAGAIN——Harper’s,September。U。E。
ALITTLENOTETOPAULBOURGET。U。E。
PoemtoMrs。BeecherElmiranotpublished。U。E。
Lecture—touraroundtheworld,begunatElmira,July14,endedJuly31。
1896。
SeeChapterscxcitocxciv。
JOANOFARC——bookHarpersMay。U。E。
TOMSAWYER,DETECTIVE,andotherstories—bookHarpers,November。
FOLLOWINGTHEEQUATORbegun23TedworthSquare,London。
1897。
SeeChapterscxcviitocxcix。
FOLLOWINGTHEEQUATOR——bookAm。Pub。Co。,November。
QUEEN’SJUBILEELondon,newspapersyndicate;bookprivatelyprinted。
JAMESHAMMONDTRUMBULL——Century,November。
WHICHWASWHICH?LondonandSwitzerlandunfinished。
TOMANDHUCKSwitzerlandunfinished。
HELLFIREHOTCHKISSSwitzerlandunfinished。
INMEMORIAM——poemSwitzerland—Harper’sMagazine。U。E。
ConcordiaClubspeechVienna。
STIRRINGTIMESINAUSTRIAVienna——Harper’sMagazine,March,1898。U。E。
1898。
SeeChapterscctocciii;alsoAppendixT。
THEAUSTRIANEDISONKEEPINGSCHOOLAGAINViennaCentury,August。U。E。
ATTHEAPPETITECUREVienna——Cosmopolitan,August。U。E。
FROMTHELONDONTIMES,1904Vienna——Century,November。U。E。
ABOUTPLAY—ACTINGVienna——Forum,October。U。E。
CONCERNINGTHEJEWSVienna——Harper’sMagazine,September,’99。U。E。
CHRISTIANSCIENCEANDMRS。EDDYVienna——Cosmopolitan,October。U。E。
THEMANTHATCORRUPTEDHADLEYBURGVienna——Harper’sMagazine,December,’99U。E。
AutobiographicalchaptersVienna;someofthemusedintheN。A。Rev。,1906—07。
WHATISMAN?Kaltenleutgeben——bookprivatelyprinted,August,1906。
ASSASSINATIONOFANEMPRESSKaltenleutgebenunpublished。
THEMYSTERIOUSSTRANGERunfinished。
TranslationsofGermanplaysunproduced。
1899。
SeeChaptersccivtoccviii。
DIPLOMATICPAYANDCLOTHESVienna——Forum,March。U。E。
MYLITERARYDEBUTVienna——Century,December。U。E。
CHRISTIANSCIENCEVienna——N。A。Rev。,December,1902,JanuaryandFebruary,1903。
TranslatedGermanplaysViennaunproduced。
CollaboratedwithSiegmundSchlesingeronplaysViennaunfinished。
Plannedapostal—checkschemeVienna。
ArticlesabouttheKellgrentreatmentSanna,Swedenunpublished。
ST。JOANOFARCLondon——Harper’sMagazine,December,1904。U。E。
MYFIRSTLIE,ANDHowIGOTOUTOFITLondon——NewYorkWorld。U。E。
ArticlesonSouthAfricanWarLondonunpublished
UniformEditionofMarkTwain’sworksAm。Pub。Co。。
1900。
SeeChaptersccixtoccxii。
TWOLITTLETALESLondon——Century,November,1901。U。E。
Spokeon"Copyright"beforetheHouseofLords。
DeliveredmanyspeechesinLondonandNewYork。
1901。
SeeChaptersccxiiitoccxviii。
TOTHEPERSONSITTINGINDARKNESS14WestTenthStreet,NewYork——
N。A。Rev。,February。
TOMYMISSIONARYCRITICS14WestTenthStreet,NewYork——N。A。Rev。,April。
DOUBLE—BARRELDETECTIVESTORYSaranacLake,"TheLair"Harper’sMagazine,JanuaryandFebruary,1902。
LincolnBirthdaySpeech,February11。
Manyotherspeeches。
PLANFORCASTINGVOTEPARTYRiverdaleunpublished。
THESTUPENDOUSPROCESSIONRiverdaleunpublished。
ANTE—MORTEMOBITUARIES——Harper’sWeekly。
ReceiveddegreeofDoctorofLettersfromYale。
1902。
SeeChaptersccxixtoccxxiv;alsoAppendixU。
DOESTHERACEOFMANLOVEALORD?Riverdale——N。A。Rev。,April。U。E。
FIVEBOONSofLIFERiverdale——Harper’sWeekly,July5。U。E。
WHYNOTABOLISHIT?Riverdale——Harper’sWeekly,July5。
DEFENSEOFGENERALFUNSTONRiverdale——N。A。Rev。,May。
IFICOULDBETHERERiverdaleunpublished。
Wrotevariousarticles,unfinishedorunpublished。
ReceiveddegreeofLL。D。fromtheUniversityofMissouri,June。
THEBELATEDPASSPORTYorkHarbor——Harper’sWeekly,December6。U。E。
WASITHEAVEN?ORHELL?YorkHarbor——Harper’sMagazine,December。U。E。
PoemRiverdaleandYorkHarborunpublished
Sixty—seventhBirthdayspeechNewYork,November27。
1903。
SeeChaptersccxxvtoccxxx。
MRS。EDDYINERRORRiverdale——N。A。Rev。,April。
INSTRUCTIONSINARTRiverdale—Metropolitan,AprilandMay。
EDDYPUS,andotherC。S。articlesunfinished。
ADOG’STALEElmira——Harper’sMagazine,December。U。E。
ITALIANWITHOUTAMASTERFlorence——Harper’sWeekly,January21,1904。
U。E。
ITALIANWITHGRAMMARFlorence——Harper’sMagazine,August,U。E。
THE$30,000BEQUESTFlorence——Harper’sWeekly,December10,1904。U。E。
1904。
SeeChaptersccxxxtoccxxxiv。
AUTOBIOGRAPHYFlorence——portionspublished,N。A。Rev。andHarper’sWeekly。
CONCERNINGCOPYRIGHTTyringham,Massachusetts——N。A。Rev。,January,1905。
TSARSSOLILOQUY21FifthAvenue,NewYork——N。A。Rev。,March,1905。
ADAM’SDIARY——bookHarpers,April。
1905。
SeeChaptersccxxxivtoccxxxvii;alsoAppendixV。
LEOPOLD’SSOLILOQUY21FifthAvenue,NewYork——pamphlet,P。R。WarrenCompany。
THEWARPRAYER21FifthAvenue,NewYorkunpublished。
EVE’SDIARYDublin,NewHampshire——Harper’sMagazine,December。
3,000YEARSAMONGTHEMICROBESunfinished。
INTERPRETINGTHEDEITYDublinNewHampshireunpublished。
AHORSE’STALEDublin,NewHampshire—Harper’sMagazine,AugustandSeptember,i9o6。
SeventiethBirthdayspeech。
W。D。HOWELLS21FifthAvenue,NewYork—Harper’sMagazine,July,1906。
1906。
SeeChaptersccxxxixtoccli。
Autobiographydictation21FifthAvenue,NewYork;andDublin,NewHampshire——selectionspublished,N。A。Rev。,1906and1907。
Manyspeeches。
Farewelllecture,CarnegieHall,April19。
WHATISMAN?——bookprivatelyprinted。
CopyrightspeechWashington,December。
1907。
SeeChapterscclvitocclxiii。
Autobiographydictations27FifthAvenue,NewYork;andTuxedo。
DegreeofDoctorofLiteratureconferredbyOxford,June26。
MademanyLondonspeeches。
BegumofBengalspeechLiverpool。
CHRISTIANSCIENCE——bookHarpers,February。U。E。
CAPTAINSTORMFIELD’SVISITToHEAVEN——bookHarpers。
1908。
SeeChapterscclxivtocclxx。
Autobiographydictations21FifthAvenue,NewYork;andRedding,Connecticut。
LotosClubandotherspeeches。
Aldrichmemorialspeech。
1909。
SeeChapterscclxxvitocclxxxix;alsoAppendicesNandW。
ISSHAKESPEAREDEAD?——bookHarpers,April。
AFABLE——Harper’sMagazineDecember。
Copyrightdocumentsunpublished。
AddresstoSt。TimothySchool。
MARJORIEFLEMINGStormfield——Harper’sBazar,December。
THETURNING—POINTOFMYLIFEStormfield——Harper’sBazar,February,1910
BESSIEDIALOGUEunpublished。
LETTERSFROMTHEEARTHunfinished。
THEDEATHOFJEAN——Harper’s,December,1910。
THEINTERNATIONALLIGHTNINGTRUSTunpublished。
1910。
SeeChapterccxcii。
VALENTINESTOHELENANDOTHERSnotpublished。
ADVICETOPAINEnotpublished。