THEsubjectofourpresentnarrativewouldappeartohavedevotedhimselftothepirateprofessionatacomparativelyearlyage。Wefindhimincommandofasplendidschoonerofonehundredgunsloadedtothemuzzle，ereyethehadhadapartyinhonourofhistenthbirthday。
　　Itseemsthatourhero，consideringhimselfspitedbyaLatin—
　　grammarmaster，demandedthesatisfactionduefromonemanofhonourtoanother。—Notgettingit，heprivatelywithdrewhishaughtyspiritfromsuchlowcompany，boughtasecond—handpocket—
　　pistol，foldedupsomesandwichesinapaperbag，madeabottleofSpanishliquorice—water，andenteredonacareerofvalour。
　　ItweretedioustofollowBoldheart（forsuchwashisname）throughthecommencingstagesofhisstory。Sufficeit，thatwefindhimbearingtherankofCapt。Boldheart，reclininginfulluniformonacrimsonhearth—rugspreadoutuponthequarter—deckofhisschooner’TheBeauty，’intheChinaseas。Itwasalovelyevening；and，ashiscrewlaygroupedabouthim，hefavouredthemwiththefollowingmelody：
　　Olandsmenarefolly！
　　Opiratesarejolly！
　　OdiddleumDolly，Di！
　　CHORUS。—Heaveyo。
　　Thesoothingeffectoftheseanimatedsoundsfloatingoverthewaters，asthecommonsailorsunitedtheirroughvoicestotakeuptherichtonesofBoldheart，maybemoreeasilyconceivedthandescribed。
　　Itwasunderthesecircumstancesthatthelook—outatthemastheadgavetheword，’Whales！’
　　Allwasnowactivity。
　　’Whereaway？’criedCapt。Boldheart，startingup。
　　’Onthelarboardbow，sir，’repliedthefellowatthemasthead，touchinghishat。Forsuchwastheheightofdisciplineonboardof’TheBeauty，’that，evenatthatheight，hewasobligedtomindit，orbeshotthroughthehead。
　　’Thisadventurebelongstome，’saidBoldheart。’Boy，myharpoon。
　　Letnomanfollow；’andleapingaloneintohisboat，thecaptainrowedwithadmirabledexterityinthedirectionofthemonster。
　　Allwasnowexcitement。
　　’Henearshim！’saidanelderlyseaman，followingthecaptainthroughhisspy—glass。
　　’Hestrikeshim！’saidanotherseaman，amerestripling，butalsowithaspy—glass。
　　’Hetowshimtowardsus！’saidanotherseaman，amaninthefullvigouroflife，butalsowithaspy—glass。
　　Infact，thecaptainwasseenapproaching，withthehugebulkfollowing。Wewillnotdwellonthedeafeningcriesof’Boldheart！
　　Boldheart！’withwhichhewasreceived，when，carelesslyleapingonthequarter—deck，hepresentedhisprizetohismen。Theyafterwardsmadetwothousandfourhundredandseventeenpoundtenandsixpencebyit。
　　Orderingthesailtobebracedup，thecaptainnowstoodW。N。W。
　　’TheBeauty’flewratherthanfloatedoverthedarkbluewaters。
　　Nothingparticularoccurredforafortnight，excepttaking，withconsiderableslaughter，fourSpanishgalleons，andasnowfromSouthAmerica，allrichlyladen。Inactionbegantotelluponthespiritsofthemen。Capt。Boldheartcalledallhandsaft，andsaid，’Mylads，Iheartherearediscontentedonesamongye。Letanysuchstandforth。’
　　Aftersomemurmuring，inwhichtheexpressions，’Ay，ay，sir！’
　　’UnionJack，’’Avast，’’Starboard，’’Port，’’Bowsprit，’andsimilarindicationsofamutinousundercurrent，thoughsubdued，wereaudible，BillBoozey，captainoftheforetop，cameoutfromtherest。Hisformwasthatofagiant，buthequailedunderthecaptain’seye。
　　’Whatareyourwrongs？’saidthecaptain。
　　’Why，d’yesee，Capt。Boldheart，’repliedthetoweringmanner，’I’vesailed，manandboy，formanyayear，butIneveryetknow’dthemilkservedoutfortheship’scompany’steastobesosouras’tisaboardthiscraft。’
　　Atthismomentthethrillingcry，’Manoverboard！’announcedtotheastonishedcrewthatBoozey，insteppingback，asthecaptain（inmerethoughtfulness）laidhishanduponthefaithfulpocket—pistolwhichheworeinhisbelt，hadlosthisbalance，andwasstrugglingwiththefoamingtide。
　　Allwasnowstupefaction。
　　ButwithCapt。Boldheart，tothrowoffhisuniformcoat，regardlessofthevariousrichorderswithwhichitwasdecorated，andtoplungeintotheseaafterthedrowninggiant，wastheworkofamoment。Maddeningwastheexcitementwhenboatswerelowered；
　　intensethejoywhenthecaptainwasseenholdingupthedrowningmanwithhisteeth；deafeningthecheeringwhenbothwererestoredtothemaindeckof’TheBeauty。’And，fromtheinstantofhischanginghiswetclothesfordryones，Capt。BoldhearthadnosuchdevotedthoughhumblefriendasWilliamBoozey。
　　Boldheartnowpointedtothehorizon，andcalledtheattentionofhiscrewtothetapersparsofashiplyingsnuginharbourunderthegunsofafort。
　　’Sheshallbeoursatsunrise，’saidhe。’Serveoutadoubleallowanceofgrog，andprepareforaction。’
　　Allwasnowpreparation。
　　Whenmorningdawned，afterasleeplessnight，itwasseenthatthestrangerwascrowdingonallsailtocomeoutoftheharbourandofferbattle。Asthetwoshipscamenearertoeachother，thestrangerfiredagunandhoistedRomancolours。BoldheartthenperceivedhertobetheLatin—grammarmaster’sbark。Suchindeedshewas，andhadbeentackingabouttheworldinunavailingpursuit，fromthetimeofhisfirsttakingtoarovinglife。
　　Boldheartnowaddressedhismen，promisingtoblowthemupifheshouldfeelconvincedthattheirreputationrequiredit，andgivingordersthattheLatin—grammarmastershouldbetakenalive。Hethendismissedthemtotheirquarters，andthefightbeganwithabroadsidefrom’TheBeauty。’Shethenveeredaround，andpouredinanother。’TheScorpion’（sowasthebarkoftheLatin—grammarmasterappropriatelycalled）wasnotslowtoreturnherfire；andaterrificcannonadingensued，inwhichthegunsof’TheBeauty’didtremendousexecution。
　　TheLatin—grammarmasterwasseenuponthepoop，inthemidstofthesmokeandfire，encouraginghismen。Todohimjustice，hewasnocraven，thoughhiswhitehat，hisshortgraytrousers，andhislongsnuff—colouredsurtoutreachingtohisheels（theself—samecoatinwhichhehadspitedBoldheart），contrastedmostunfavourablywiththebrilliantuniformofthelatter。Atthismoment，Boldheart，seizingapikeandputtinghimselfattheheadofhismen，gavethewordtoboard。
　　Adesperateconflictensuedinthehammock—nettings，—orsomewhereinaboutthatdirection，—untiltheLatin—grammarmaster，havingallhismastsgone，hishullandriggingshotthrough，andseeingBoldheartslashingapathtowardshim，hauleddownhisflaghimself，gaveuphisswordtoBoldheart，andaskedforquarter。
　　Scarcehadhebeenputintothecaptain’sboat，ere’TheScorpion’
　　wentdownwithallonboard。
　　OnCapt。Boldheart’snowassemblinghismen，acircumstanceoccurred。Hefounditnecessarywithoneblowofhiscutlasstokillthecook，who，havinglosthisbrotherinthelateaction，wasmakingattheLatin—grammarmasterinaninfuriatedstate，intentonhisdestructionwithacarving—knife。
　　Capt。BoldheartthenturnedtotheLatin—grammarmaster，severelyreproachinghimwithhisperfidy，andputittohiscrewwhattheyconsideredthatamasterwhospitedaboydeserved。
　　Theyansweredwithonevoice，’Death。’
　　’Itmaybeso，’saidthecaptain；’butitshallneverbesaidthatBoldheartstainedhishouroftriumphwiththebloodofhisenemy。
　　Preparethecutter。’
　　Thecutterwasimmediatelyprepared。
　　’Withouttakingyourlife，’saidthecaptain，’Imustyetforeverdepriveyouofthepowerofspitingotherboys。Ishallturnyouadriftinthisboat。Youwillfindinhertwooars，acompass，abottleofrum，asmallcaskofwater，apieceofpork，abagofbiscuit，andmyLatingrammar。Go！andspitethenatives，ifyoucanfindany。’
　　Deeplyconsciousofthisbittersarcasm，theunhappywretchwasputintothecutter，andwassoonleftfarbehind。Hemadenoefforttorow，butwasseenlyingonhisbackwithhislegsup，whenlastmadeoutbytheship’stelescopes。
　　Astiffbreezenowbeginningtoblow，Capt。BoldheartgaveorderstokeepherS。S。W。，easingheralittleduringthenightbyfallingoffapointortwoW。byW。，orevenbyW。S。，ifshecomplainedmuch。Hethenretiredforthenight，havingintruthmuchneedofrepose。Inadditiontothefatigueshehadundergone，thisbraveofficerhadreceivedsixteenwoundsintheengagement，buthadnotmentionedit。
　　Inthemorningawhitesquallcameon，andwassucceededbyothersquallsofvariouscolours。Itthunderedandlightenedheavilyforsixweeks。Hurricanesthensetinfortwomonths。Waterspoutsandtornadoesfollowed。Theoldestsailoronboard—andhewasaveryoldone—hadneverseensuchweather。’TheBeauty’lostallideawhereshewas，andthecarpenterreportedsixfeettwoofwaterinthehold。Everybodyfellsenselessatthepumpseveryday。
　　Provisionsnowranverylow。Ourheroputthecrewonshortallowance，andputhimselfonshorterallowancethananymanintheship。Buthisspiritkepthimfat。Inthisextremity，thegratitudeofBoozey，thecaptainoftheforetop，whomourreadersmayremember，wastrulyaffecting。ThelovingthoughlowlyWilliamrepeatedlyrequestedtobekilled，andpreservedforthecaptain’stable。
　　Wenowapproachachangeofaffairs。Onedayduringagleamofsunshine，andwhentheweatherhadmoderated，themanatthemasthead—tooweaknowtotouchhishat，besidesitshavingbeenblownaway—calledout，’Savages！’
　　Allwasnowexpectation。
　　Presentlyfifteenhundredcanoes，eachpaddledbytwentysavages，wereseenadvancinginexcellentorder。Theywereofalightgreencolour（thesavageswere），andsang，withgreatenergy，thefollowingstrain：
　　Chooachooachootooth。
　　Muntch，muntch。Nycey！
　　Chooachooachootooth。
　　Muntch，muntch。Nycey！
　　Astheshadesofnightwerebythistimeclosingin，theseexpressionsweresupposedtoembodythissimplepeople’sviewsoftheeveninghymn。Butittoosoonappearedthatthesongwasatranslationof’Forwhatwearegoingtoreceive，’&c。
　　Thechief，imposinglydecoratedwithfeathersoflivelycolours，andhavingthemajesticappearanceofafightingparrot，nosoonerunderstood（heunderstoodEnglishperfectly）thattheshipwas’TheBeauty，’Capt。Boldheart，thanhefelluponhisfaceonthedeck，andcouldnotbepersuadedtoriseuntilthecaptainhadliftedhimup，andtoldhimhewouldn’thurthim。Alltherestofthesavagesalsofellontheirfaceswithmarksofterror，andhadalsotobelifteduponebyone。ThusthefameofthegreatBoldhearthadgonebeforehim，evenamongthesechildrenofNature。
　　Turtlesandoysterswerenowproducedinastonishingnumbers；andontheseandyamsthepeoplemadeaheartymeal。AfterdinnerthechieftoldCapt。Boldheartthattherewasbetterfeedingupatthevillage，andthathewouldbegladtotakehimandhisofficersthere。Apprehensiveoftreachery，Boldheartorderedhisboat’screwtoattendhimcompletelyarmed。Andwellwereitforothercommandersiftheirprecautions—butletusnotanticipate。
　　Whenthecanoesarrivedatthebeach，thedarknessofthenightwasilluminedbythelightofanimmensefire。Orderinghisboat’screw（withtheintrepidthoughilliterateWilliamattheirhead）tokeepcloseandbeupontheirguard，Boldheartbravelywenton，arminarmwiththechief。
　　Buthowtodepictthecaptain’ssurprisewhenhefoundaringofsavagessinginginchorusthatbarbaroustranslationof’Forwhatwearegoingtoreceive，’&c。，whichhasbeengivenabove，anddancinghandinhandroundtheLatin—grammarmaster，inahamperwithhisheadshaved，whiletwosavagesflouredhim，beforeputtinghimtothefiretobecooked！
　　Boldheartnowtookcounselwithhisofficersonthecoursetobeadopted。Inthemeantime，themiserablecaptiveneverceasedbeggingpardonandimploringtobedelivered。OnthegenerousBoldheart’sproposal，itwasatlengthresolvedthatheshouldnotbecooked，butshouldbeallowedtoremainraw，ontwoconditions，namely：
　　1。Thatheshouldnever，underanycircumstances，presumetoteachanyboyanythinganymore。
　　2。That，iftakenbacktoEngland，heshouldpasshislifeintravellingtofindoutboyswhowantedtheirexercisesdone，andshoulddotheirexercisesforthoseboysfornothing，andneversayawordaboutit。
　　Drawingtheswordfromitssheath，Boldheartsworehimtotheseconditionsonitsshiningblade。Theprisonerweptbitterly，andappearedacutelytofeeltheerrorsofhispastcareer。
　　Thecaptainthenorderedhisboat’screwtomakereadyforavolley，andafterfiringtore—loadquickly。’Andexpectascoreortwoonyetogoheadoverheels，’murmuredWilliamBoozey；’forI’ma—lookingatye。’Withthosewords，thederisivethoughdeadlyWilliamtookagoodaim。
　　’Fire！’
　　TheringingvoiceofBoldheartwaslostinthereportofthegunsandthescreechingofthesavages。Volleyaftervolleyawakenedthenumerousechoes。Hundredsofsavageswerekilled，hundredswounded，andthousandsranhowlingintothewoods。TheLatin—
　　grammarmasterhadasparenight—caplenthim，andalong—tailcoat，whichheworehindsidebefore。Hepresentedaludicrousthoughpitiableappearance，andservehimright。
　　WenowfindCapt。Boldheart，withthisrescuedwretchonboard，standingoffforotherislands。Atoneofthese，notacannibalisland，butaporkandvegetableone，hemarried（onlyinfunonhispart）theking’sdaughter。Hereherestedsometime，receivingfromthenativesgreatquantitiesofpreciousstones，golddust，elephants’teeth，andsandalwood，andgettingveryrich。This，too，thoughhealmosteverydaymadepresentsofenormousvaluetohismen。
　　Theshipbeingatlengthasfullasshecouldholdofallsortsofvaluablethings，Boldheartgaveorderstoweightheanchor，andturn’TheBeauty’s’headtowardsEngland。Theseorderswereobeyedwiththreecheers；anderethesunwentdownfullmanyahornpipehadbeendancedondeckbytheuncouththoughagileWilliam。
　　WenextfindCapt。BoldheartaboutthreeleaguesoffMadeira，surveyingthroughhisspy—glassastrangerofsuspiciousappearancemakingsailtowardshim。Onhisfiringagunaheadofhertobringherto，sheranupaflag，whichheinstantlyrecognisedastheflagfromthemastintheback—gardenathome。
　　Inferringfromthis，thathisfatherhadputtoseatoseekhislong—lostson，thecaptainsenthisownboatonboardthestrangertoinquireifthiswasso，and，ifso，whetherhisfather’sintentionswerestrictlyhonourable。Theboatcamebackwithapresentofgreensandfreshmeat，andreportedthatthestrangerwas’TheFamily，’oftwelvehundredtons，andhadnotonlythecaptain’sfatheronboard，butalsohismother，withthemajorityofhisauntsanduncles，andallhiscousins。ItwasfurtherreportedtoBoldheartthatthewholeoftheserelationshadexpressedthemselvesinabecomingmanner，andwereanxioustoembracehimandthankhimforthegloriouscredithehaddonethem。
　　Boldheartatonceinvitedthemtobreakfastnextmorningonboard’TheBeauty，’andgaveordersforabrilliantballthatshouldlastallday。
　　ItwasinthecourseofthenightthatthecaptaindiscoveredthehopelessnessofreclaimingtheLatin—grammarmaster。Thatthanklesstraitorwasfoundout，asthetwoshipslayneareachother，communicatingwith’TheFamily’bysignals，andofferingtogiveupBoldheart。Hewashangedattheyard—armthefirstthinginthemorning，afterhavingitimpressivelypointedouttohimbyBoldheartthatthiswaswhatspiterscameto。
　　Themeetingbetweenthecaptainandhisparentswasattendedwithtears。Hisunclesandauntswouldhaveattendedtheirmeetingwithtearstoo，buthewasn’tgoingtostandthat。Hiscousinswereverymuchastonishedbythesizeofhisshipandthedisciplineofhismen，andweregreatlyovercomebythesplendourofhisuniform。
　　Hekindlyconductedthemroundthevessel，andpointedouteverythingworthyofnotice。Healsofiredhishundredguns，andfounditamusingtowitnesstheiralarm。
　　Theentertainmentsurpassedeverythingeverseenonboardship，andlastedfromteninthemorninguntilseventhenextmorning。Onlyonedisagreeableincidentoccurred。Capt。BoldheartfoundhimselfobligedtoputhiscousinTominirons，forbeingdisrespectful。
　　Ontheboy’spromisingamendment，however，hewashumanelyreleasedafterafewhours’closeconfinement。
　　Boldheartnowtookhismotherdownintothegreatcabin，andaskedaftertheyoungladywithwhom，itwaswellknowntotheworld，hewasinlove。HismotherrepliedthattheobjectofhisaffectionswasthenatschoolatMargate，forthebenefitofsea—bathing（itwasthemonthofSeptember），butthatshefearedtheyounglady’sfriendswerestillopposedtotheunion。Boldheartatonceresolved，ifnecessary，tobombardthetown。
　　Takingthecommandofhisshipwiththisintention，andputtingallbutfightingmenonboard’TheFamily，’withorderstothatvesseltokeepincompany，BoldheartsoonanchoredinMargateRoads。Herehewentashorewell—armed，andattendedbyhisboat’screw（attheirheadthefaithfulthoughferociousWilliam），anddemandedtoseethemayor，whocameoutofhisoffice。
　　’Dostknowthenameofyonship，mayor？’askedBoldheartfiercely。
　　’No，’saidthemayor，rubbinghiseyes，whichhecouldscarcebelieve，whenhesawthegoodlyvesselridingatanchor。
　　’Sheisnamed"TheBeauty，"’saidthecaptain。
　　’Hah！’exclaimedthemayor，withastart。’Andyou，then，areCapt。Boldheart？’
　　’Thesame。’
　　Apauseensued。Themayortrembled。
　　’Now，mayor，’saidthecaptain，’choose！Helpmetomybride，orbebombarded。’
　　Themayorbeggedfortwohours’grace，inwhichtomakeinquiriesrespectingtheyounglady。Boldheartaccordedhimbutone；andduringthatoneplacedWilliamBoozeysentryoverhim，withadrawnsword，andinstructionstoaccompanyhimwhereverhewent，andtorunhimthroughthebodyifheshowedasignofplayingfalse。
　　Attheendofthehourthemayorre—appearedmoredeadthanalive，closelywaitedonbyBoozeymorealivethandead。
　　’Captain，’saidthemayor，’Ihaveascertainedthattheyoungladyisgoingtobathe。Evennowshewaitsherturnforamachine。Thetideislow，thoughrising。I，inoneofourtown—boats，shallnotbesuspected。Whenshecomesforthinherbathing—dressintotheshallowwaterfrombehindthehoodofthemachine，myboatshallinterceptherandpreventherreturn。Doyoutherest。’
　　’Mayor，’returnedCapt。Boldheart，’thouhastsavedthytown。’
　　Thecaptainthensignalledhisboattotakehimoff，and，steeringherhimself，orderedhercrewtorowtowardsthebathing—ground，andtheretorestupontheiroars。Allhappenedashadbeenarranged。Hislovelybridecameforth，themayorglidedinbehindher，shebecameconfused，andhadfloatedoutofherdepth，when，withoneskilfultouchoftherudderandonequiveringstrokefromtheboat’screw，heradoringBoldheartheldherinhisstrongarms。
　　Therehershrieksofterrorwerechangedtocriesofjoy。
　　Before’TheBeauty’couldgetunderway，thehoistingofalltheflagsinthetownandharbour，andtheringingofallthebells，announcedtothebraveBoldheartthathehadnothingtofear。Hethereforedeterminedtobemarriedonthespot，andsignalledforaclergymanandclerk，whocameoffpromptlyinasailing—boatnamed’TheSkylark。’Anothergreatentertainmentwasthengivenonboard’TheBeauty，’inthemidstofwhichthemayorwascalledoutbyamessenger。HereturnedwiththenewsthatgovernmenthadsentdowntoknowwhetherCapt。Boldheart，inacknowledgmentofthegreatserviceshehaddonehiscountrybybeingapirate，wouldconsenttobemadealieutenant—colonel。Forhimselfhewouldhavespurnedtheworthlessboon；buthisbridewishedit，andheconsented。
　　Onlyonethingfurtherhappenedbeforethegoodship’Family’wasdismissed，withrichpresentstoallonboard。Itispainfultorecord（butsuchishumannatureinsomecousins）thatCapt。
　　Boldheart’sunmannerlyCousinTomwasactuallytieduptoreceivethreedozenwitharope’send’forcheekinessandmakinggame，’
　　whenCapt。Boldheart’sladybeggedforhim，andhewasspared。
　　’TheBeauty’thenrefitted，andthecaptainandhisbridedepartedfortheIndianOceantoenjoythemselvesforevermore。
　　PARTIV。—ROMANCEFROMTHEPENOFMISSNETTIEASHFORD（Agedhalf—
　　pastsix。）
　　THEREisacountry，whichIwillshowyouwhenIgetintomaps，wherethechildrenhaveeverythingtheirownway。Itisamostdelightfulcountrytolivein。Thegrown—uppeopleareobligedtoobeythechildren，andareneverallowedtosituptosupper，exceptontheirbirthdays。Thechildrenorderthemtomakejamandjellyandmarmalade，andtartsandpiesandpuddings，andallmannerofpastry。Iftheysaytheywon’t，theyareputinthecornertilltheydo。Theyaresometimesallowedtohavesome；butwhentheyhavesome，theygenerallyhavepowdersgiventhemafterwards。
　　Oneoftheinhabitantsofthiscountry，atrulysweetyoungcreatureofthenameofMrs。Orange，hadthemisfortunetobesadlyplaguedbyhernumerousfamily。Herparentsrequiredagreatdealoflookingafter，andtheyhadconnectionsandcompanionswhowerescarcelyeveroutofmischief。SoMrs。Orangesaidtoherself，’I
　　reallycannotbetroubledwiththesetormentsanylonger：Imustputthemalltoschool。’
　　Mrs。Orangetookoffherpinafore，anddressedherselfverynicely，andtookupherbaby，andwentouttocalluponanotherladyofthenameofMrs。Lemon，whokeptapreparatoryestablishment。Mrs。
　　Orangestooduponthescrapertopullatthebell，andgivearing—
　　ting—ting。
　　Mrs。Lemon’sneatlittlehousemaid，pullinguphersocksasshecamealongthepassage，answeredthering—ting—ting。
　　’Good—morning，’saidMrs。Orange。’Fineday。Howdoyoudo？Mrs。
　　Lemonathome！’
　　’Yes，ma’am。’
　　’WillyousayMrs。Orangeandbaby？’
　　’Yes，ma’am。Walkin。’
　　Mrs。Orange’sbabywasaveryfineone，andrealwaxallover。
　　Mrs。Lemon’sbabywasleatherandbran。However，whenMrs。Lemoncameintothedrawing—roomwithherbabyinherarms，Mrs。Orangesaidpolitely，’Good—morning。Fineday。Howdoyoudo？AndhowislittleTootleumboots？’
　　’Well，sheisbutpoorly。Cuttingherteeth，ma’am，’saidMrs。
　　Lemon。
　　’O，indeed，ma’am！’saidMrs。Orange。’Nofits，Ihope？’
　　’No，ma’am。’
　　’Howmanyteethhasshe，ma’am？’
　　’Five，ma’am。’
　　’MyEmilia，ma’am，haseight，’saidMrs。Orange。’Shallwelaythemonthemantelpiecesidebyside，whileweconverse？’
　　’Byallmeans，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。’Hem！’
　　’Thefirstquestionis，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange，’Idon’tboreyou？’
　　’Notintheleast，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。’Farfromit，Iassureyou。’
　　’ThenprayHAVEyou，’saidMrs。Orange，—’HAVEyouanyvacancies？’
　　’Yes，ma’am。Howmanymightyourequire？’
　　’Why，thetruthis，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange，’Ihavecometotheconclusionthatmychildren，’—O，Iforgottosaythattheycallthegrown—uppeoplechildreninthatcountry！—’thatmychildrenaregettingpositivelytoomuchforme。Letmesee。Twoparents，twointimatefriendsoftheirs，onegodfather，twogodmothers，andanaunt。HAVEyouasmanyaseightvacancies？’
　　’Ihavejusteight，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。
　　’Mostfortunate！Termsmoderate，Ithink？’
　　’Verymoderate，ma’am。’
　　’Dietgood，Ibelieve？’
　　’Excellent，ma’am。’
　　’Unlimited？’
　　’Unlimited。’
　　’Mostsatisfactory！Corporalpunishmentdispensedwith？’
　　’Why，wedooccasionallyshake，’saidMrs。Lemon，’andwehaveslapped。Butonlyinextremecases。’
　　’COULDI，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange，—’COULDIseetheestablishment？’
　　’Withthegreatestofpleasure，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。
　　Mrs。LemontookMrs。Orangeintotheschoolroom，wheretherewereanumberofpupils。’Standup，children，’saidMrs。Lemon；andtheyallstoodup。
　　Mrs。OrangewhisperedtoMrs。Lemon，’Thereisapale，baldchild，withredwhiskers，indisgrace。MightIaskwhathehasdone？’
　　’Comehere，White，’saidMrs。Lemon，’andtellthisladywhatyouhavebeendoing。’
　　’Bettingonhorses，’saidWhitesulkily。
　　’Areyousorryforit，younaughtychild？’saidMrs。Lemon。
　　’No，’saidWhite。’Sorrytolose，butshouldn’tbesorrytowin。’
　　’There’saviciousboyforyou，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。’Goalongwithyou，sir。ThisisBrown，Mrs。Orange。O，asadcase，Brown’s！Neverknowswhenhehashadenough。Greedy。Howisyourgout，sir？’
　　’Bad，’saidBrown。
　　’Whatelsecanyouexpect？’saidMrs。Lemon。’Yourstomachisthesizeoftwo。Goandtakeexercisedirectly。Mrs。Black，comeheretome。Now，hereisachild，Mrs。Orange，ma’am，whoisalwaysatplay。Shecan’tbekeptathomeasingledaytogether；alwaysgaddingaboutandspoilingherclothes。Play，play，play，play，frommorningtonight，andtomorningagain。Howcansheexpecttoimprove？’
　　’Don’texpecttoimprove，’sulkedMrs。Black。’Don’twantto。’
　　’Thereisaspecimenofhertemper，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。’Toseeherwhensheistearingabout，neglectingeverythingelse，youwouldsupposehertobeatleastgood—humoured。Butblessyou！
　　ma’am，sheisaspertandflouncingaminxaseveryoumetwithinallyourdays！’
　　’Youmusthaveagreatdealoftroublewiththem，ma’am，’saidMrs。
　　Orange。
　　’Ah，Ihave，indeed，ma’am！’saidMrs。Lemon。’Whatwiththeirtempers，whatwiththeirquarrels，whatwiththeirneverknowingwhat’sgoodforthem，andwhatwiththeiralwayswantingtodomineer，delivermefromtheseunreasonablechildren！’
　　’Well，Iwishyougood—morning，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange。
　　’Well，Iwishyougood—morning，ma’am，’saidMrs。Lemon。
　　SoMrs。Orangetookupherbabyandwenthome，andtoldthefamilythatplaguedhersothattheywereallgoingtobesenttoschool。
　　Theysaidtheydidn’twanttogotoschool；butshepackeduptheirboxes，andpackedthemoff。
　　’Odearme，dearme！Restandbethankful！’saidMrs。Orange，throwingherselfbackinherlittlearm—chair。’Thosetroublesometroublesaregotridof，pleasethepigs！’
　　Justthenanotherlady，namedMrs。Alicumpaine，camecallingatthestreet—doorwitharing—ting—ting。
　　’MydearMrs。Alicumpaine，’saidMrs。Orange，’howdoyoudo？Praystaytodinner。Wehavebutasimplejointofsweet—stuff，followedbyaplaindishofbreadandtreacle；but，ifyouwilltakeusasyoufindus，itwillbeSOkind！’
　　’Don’tmentionit，’saidMrs。Alicumpaine。’Ishallbetooglad。
　　ButwhatdoyouthinkIhavecomefor，ma’am？Guess，ma’am。’
　　’Ireallycannotguess，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange。
　　’Why，Iamgoingtohaveasmalljuvenilepartyto—night，’saidMrs。Alicumpaine；’andifyouandMr。Orangeandbabywouldbutjoinus，weshouldbecomplete。’
　　’Morethancharmed，Iamsure！’saidMrs。Orange。
　　’Sokindofyou！’saidMrs。Alicumpaine。’ButIhopethechildrenwon’tboreyou？’
　　’Dearthings！Notatall，’saidMrs。Orange。’Idoteuponthem。’
　　Mr。Orangeherecamehomefromthecity；andhecame，too，witharing—ting—ting。
　　’Jameslove，’saidMrs。Orange，’youlooktired。Whathasbeendoinginthecityto—day？’
　　’Trap，bat，andball，mydear，’saidMr。Orange，’anditknocksamanup。’
　　’Thatdreadfullyanxiouscity，ma’am，’saidMrs。OrangetoMrs。
　　Alicumpaine；’sowearing，isitnot？’
　　’O，sotrying！’saidMrs。Alicumpaine。’Johnhaslatelybeenspeculatinginthepeg—topring；andIoftensaytohimatnight，"John，IStheresultworththewearandtear？"’
　　Dinnerwasreadybythistime：sotheysatdowntodinner；andwhileMr。Orangecarvedthejointofsweet—stuff，hesaid，’It’sapoorheartthatneverrejoices。Jane，godowntothecellar，andfetchabottleoftheUpestginger—beer。’
　　Attea—time，Mr。andMrs。Orange，andbaby，andMrs。AlicumpainewentofftoMrs。Alicumpaine’shouse。Thechildrenhadnotcomeyet；buttheball—roomwasreadyforthem，decoratedwithpaperflowers。
　　’Howverysweet！’saidMrs。Orange。’Thedearthings！Howpleasedtheywillbe！’
　　’Idon’tcareforchildrenmyself，’saidMr。Orange，gaping。
　　’Notforgirls？’saidMrs。Alicumpaine。’Come！youcareforgirls？’
　　Mr。Orangeshookhishead，andgapedagain。’Frivolousandvain，ma’am。’
　　’MydearJames，’criedMrs。Orange，whohadbeenpeepingabout，’dolookhere。Here’sthesupperforthedarlings，readylaidintheroombehindthefolding—doors。Here’stheirlittlepickledsalmon，Idodeclare！Andhere’stheirlittlesalad，andtheirlittleroastbeefandfowls，andtheirlittlepastry，andtheirwee，wee，weechampagne！’
　　’Yes，Ithoughtitbest，ma’am，’saidMrs。Alicumpaine，’thattheyshouldhavetheirsupperbythemselves。Ourtableisinthecornerhere，wherethegentlemencanhavetheirwineglassofnegus，andtheiregg—sandwich，andtheirquietgameatbeggar—my—neighbour，andlookon。Asforus，ma’am，weshallhavequiteenoughtodotomanagethecompany。’
　　’O，indeed，youmaysayso！Quiteenough，ma’am，’saidMrs。
　　Orange。
　　Thecompanybegantocome。Thefirstofthemwasastoutboy，withawhitetop—knotandspectacles。Thehousemaidbroughthiminandsaid，’Compliments，andatwhattimewashetobefetched！’Mrs。
　　Alicumpainesaid，’Notamomentlaterthanten。Howdoyoudo，sir？Goandsitdown。’Thenanumberofotherchildrencame；boysbythemselves，andgirlsbythemselves，andboysandgirlstogether。Theydidn’tbehaveatallwell。Someofthemlookedthroughquizzing—glassesatothers，andsaid，’Whoarethose？
　　Don’tknowthem。’Someofthemlookedthroughquizzing—glassesatothers，andsaid，’Howdo？’Someofthemhadcupsofteaorcoffeehandedtothembyothers，andsaid，’Thanks；much！’Agoodmanyboysstoodabout，andfelttheirshirt—collars。FourtiresomefatboysWOULDstandinthedoorway，andtalkaboutthenewspapers，tillMrs。Alicumpainewenttothemandsaid，’Mydears，Ireallycannotallowyoutopreventpeoplefromcomingin。Ishallbetrulysorrytodoit；but，ifyouputyourselfineverybody’sway，Imustpositivelysendyouhome。’Oneboy，withabeardandalargewhitewaistcoat，whostoodstraddlingonthehearth—rugwarminghiscoat—tails，WASsenthome。’Highlyincorrect，mydear，’saidMrs。Alicumpaine，handinghimoutoftheroom，’andI
　　cannotpermitit。’
　　Therewasachildren’sband，—harp，cornet，andpiano，—andMrs。
　　AlicumpaineandMrs。Orangebustledamongthechildrentopersuadethemtotakepartnersanddance。Buttheyweresoobstinate！Forquitealongtimetheywouldnotbepersuadedtotakepartnersanddance。Mostoftheboyssaid，’Thanks；much！Butnotatpresent。’
　　Andmostoftherestoftheboyssaid，’Thanks；much！Butneverdo。’
　　’O，thesechildrenareverywearing！’saidMrs。AlicumpainetoMrs。
　　Orange。
　　’Dearthings！Idoteuponthem；buttheyAREwearing，’saidMrs。
　　OrangetoMrs。Alicumpaine。
　　Atlasttheydidbegininaslowandmelancholywaytoslideabouttothemusic；thougheventhentheywouldn’tmindwhattheyweretold，butwouldhavethispartner，andwouldn’thavethatpartner，andshowedtemperaboutit。Andtheywouldn’tsmile，—no，notonanyaccounttheywouldn’t；but，whenthemusicstopped，wentroundandroundtheroomindismaltwos，asifeverybodyelsewasdead。
　　’O，it’sveryhardindeedtogetthesevexingchildrentobeentertained！’saidMrs。AlicumpainetoMrs。Orange。
　　’Idoteuponthedarlings；butitishard，’saidMrs。OrangetoMrs。Alicumpaine。
　　Theyweretryingchildren，that’sthetruth。First，theywouldn’tsingwhentheywereasked；andthen，wheneverybodyfullybelievedtheywouldn’t，theywould。’Ifyouserveussoanymore，mylove，’
　　saidMrs。Alicumpainetoatallchild，withagooddealofwhiteback，inmauvesilktrimmedwithlace，’itwillbemypainfulprivilegetoofferyouabed，andtosendyoutoitimmediately。’
　　Thegirlsweresoridiculouslydressed，too，thattheywereinragsbeforesupper。Howcouldtheboyshelptreadingontheirtrains？
　　Andyetwhentheirtrainsweretroddenon，theyoftenshowedtemperagain，andlookedasblack，theydid！However，theyallseemedtobepleasedwhenMrs。Alicumpainesaid，’Supperisready，children！’
　　Andtheywentcrowdingandpushingin，asiftheyhadhaddrybreadfordinner。
　　’Howarethechildrengettingon？’saidMr。OrangetoMrs。Orange，whenMrs。Orangecametolookafterbaby。Mrs。OrangehadleftbabyonashelfnearMr。Orangewhileheplayedatbeggar—my—
　　neighbour，andhadaskedhimtokeephiseyeuponhernowandthen。
　　’Mostcharmingly，mydear！’saidMrs。Orange。’Sodrolltoseetheirlittleflirtationsandjealousies！Docomeandlook！’
　　’Muchobligedtoyou，mydear，’saidMr。Orange；’butIdon’tcareaboutchildrenmyself。’
　　SoMrs。Orange，havingseenthatbabywassafe，wentbackwithoutMr。Orangetotheroomwherethechildrenwerehavingsupper。
　　’Whataretheydoingnow？’saidMrs。OrangetoMrs。Alicumpaine。
　　’Theyaremakingspeeches，andplayingatparliament，’saidMrs。
　　AlicumpainetoMrs。Orange。
　　Onhearingthis，Mrs。OrangesetoffoncemorebackagaintoMr。
　　Orange，andsaid，’Jamesdear，docome。Thechildrenareplayingatparliament。’
　　’Thankyou，mydear，’saidMr。Orange，’butIdon’tcareaboutparliamentmyself。’
　　SoMrs。OrangewentonceagainwithoutMr。Orangetotheroomwherethechildrenwerehavingsupper，toseethemplayingatparliament。
　　Andshefoundsomeoftheboyscrying，’Hear，hear，hear！’whileotherboyscried’No，no！’andothers，’Question！’’Spoke！’andallsortsofnonsensethateveryouheard。Thenoneofthosetiresomefatboyswhohadstoppedthedoorwaytoldthemhewasonhislegs（asiftheycouldn’tseethathewasn’tonhishead，oronhisanythingelse）toexplain，andthat，withthepermissionofhishonourablefriend，ifhewouldallowhimtocallhimso（anothertiresomeboybowed），hewouldproceedtoexplain。Thenhewentonforalongtimeinasing—song（whateverhemeant），didthistroublesomefatboy，aboutthatheheldinhishandaglass；andaboutthathehadcomedowntothathousethatnighttodischargewhathewouldcallapublicduty；andaboutthat，onthepresentoccasion，hewouldlayhishand（hisotherhand）uponhisheart，andwouldtellhonourablegentlementhathewasabouttoopenthedoortogeneralapproval。Thenheopenedthedoorbysaying，’Toourhostess！’andeverybodyelsesaid’Toourhostess！’andthentherewerecheers。Thenanothertiresomeboystartedupinsing—
　　song，andthenhalfadozennoisyandnonsensicalboysatonce。
　　ButatlastMrs。Alicumpainesaid，’Icannothavethisdin。Now，children，youhaveplayedatparliamentverynicely；butparliamentgetstiresomeafteralittlewhile，andit’stimeyouleftoff，foryouwillsoonbefetched。’
　　Afteranotherdance（withmoretearingtoragsthanbeforesupper），theybegantobefetched；andyouwillbeverygladtobetoldthatthetiresomefatboywhohadbeenonhislegswaswalkedofffirstwithoutanyceremony。Whentheywereallgone，poorMrs。
　　Alicumpainedroppeduponasofa，andsaidtoMrs。Orange，’Thesechildrenwillbethedeathofmeatlast，ma’am，—theywillindeed！’
　　’Iquiteadorethem，ma’am，’saidMrs。Orange；’buttheyDOwantvariety。’
　　Mr。Orangegothishat，andMrs。Orangegotherbonnetandherbaby，andtheysetouttowalkhome。TheyhadtopassMrs。Lemon’spreparatoryestablishmentontheirway。
　　’Iwonder，Jamesdear，’saidMrs。Orange，lookingupatthewindow，’whetherthepreciouschildrenareasleep！’
　　’Idon’tcaremuchwhethertheyareornot，myself，’saidMr。
　　Orange。
　　’Jamesdear！’
　　’Youdoteuponthem，youknow，’saidMr。Orange。’That’sanotherthing。’
　　’Ido，’saidMrs。Orangerapturously。’O，IDO！’
　　’Idon’t，’saidMr。Orange。
　　’ButIwasthinking，Jameslove，’saidMrs。Orange，pressinghisarm，’whetherourdear，good，kindMrs。Lemonwouldlikethemtostaytheholidayswithher。’
　　’Ifshewaspaidforit，Idaresayshewould，’saidMr。Orange。
　　’Iadorethem，James，’saidMrs。Orange，’butSUPPOSEwepayher，then！’
　　Thiswaswhatbroughtthatcountrytosuchperfection，andmadeitsuchadelightfulplacetolivein。Thegrown—uppeople（thatwouldbeinothercountries）soonleftoffbeingallowedanyholidaysafterMr。andMrs。Orangetriedtheexperiment；andthechildren（thatwouldbeinothercountries）keptthematschoolaslongasevertheylived，andmadethemdowhatevertheyweretold。