byAnthonyTrollopeThatBelgiumisnowoneoftheEuropeankingdoms,livingbyitsownlaws,restingonitsownbottom,withakingandcourt,palacesandparliamentofitsown,isknowntoalltheworld。Andaverynicelittlekingdomitis;fullofoldtowns,fineFlemishpictures,andinterestingGothicchurches。Butinthememoryofverymanyofuswhodonotthinkourselvesoldmen,Belgium,asitisnowcalled——inthosedaysitusedtobeFlandersandBrabant——wasapartofHolland;anditobtaineditsownindependencebyarevolution。InthatrevolutionthemostimportantmilitarystepwasthesiegeofAntwerp,whichwasdefendedonthepartoftheDutchbyGeneralChasse,withtheutmostgallantry,butneverthelessineffectually。
  AfterthesiegeAntwerpbecamequiteashowplace;andamongthevisitorswhoflockedtheretotalkofthegallantgeneral,andtoseewhatremainedofthegreateffortwhichhehadmadetodefendtheplace,weretwoEnglishmen。Onewastheheroofthislittlehistory;andtheotherwasayoungmanofconsiderablylessweightintheworld。ThelessIsayofthelatterthebetter;butitisnecessarythatIshouldgivesomedescriptionoftheformer。
  TheRev。AugustusHornewas,atthetimeofmynarrative,abeneficedclergymanoftheChurchofEngland。Theprofessionwhichhehadgracedsateasilyonhim。Itsexternalmarksandsignswereaspleasingtohisfriendsaswereitsinternalcomfortstohimself。
  Hewasamanofmuchquietmirth,fullofpolishedwit,andonsomerareoccasionshecoulddescendtothemorenoisyhilarityofajoke。Lovedbyhisfriendshelovedalltheworld。Hehadknownnocareandseennosorrow。Alwaysintendedforholyordershehadenteredthemwithoutascruple,andremainedwithintheirpalewithoutaregret。Attwenty—fourhehadbeenadeacon,attwenty—
  sevenapriest,atthirtyarector,andatthirty—fiveaprebendary;
  andashisrectorywasrichandhisprebendalstallwellpaid,theRev。AugustusHornewascalledbyall,andcalledhimself,ahappyman。Hisstaturewasaboutsixfeettwo,andhiscorpulenceexceededeventhoseboundswhichsymmetrywouldhavepreferredasbeingmostperfectlycompatibleevenwithsuchaheight。ButneverthelessMr。Hornewasawell—mademan;hishandsandfeetweresmall;hisfacewashandsome,frank,andfullofexpression;hisbrighteyestwinkledwithhumour;hisfinely—cutmouthdisclosedtwomarvellousrowsofwell—preservedivory;andhisslightlyaquilinenosewasjustsuchaprojectionasonewouldwishtoseeonthefaceofawell—fedgood—natureddignitaryoftheChurchofEngland。WhenIaddtoallthisthatthereverendgentlemanwasasgenerousashewasrich——andthekindmotherinwhosearmshehadbeennurturedhadtakencarethatheshouldneverwant——IneedhardlysaythatIwasblessedwithaverypleasanttravellingcompanion。
  Imustmentiononemoreinterestingparticular。Mr。Hornewasratherinclinedtodandyism,inaninnocentway。Hisclericalstarchedneckclothwasalwaysofthewhitest,hiscambrichandkerchiefofthefinest,hisbandsadornedwiththebroadestborder;hissablesuitneverdegeneratedtoarustybrown;itnotonlygaveonalloccasionsglossyevidenceoffreshness,butalsoofthetalentwhichtheartisanhaddisplayedinturningoutawell—dressedclergymanoftheChurchofEngland。Hishairwaseverbrushedwithscrupulousattention,andshowedinitsregularwavestheguardiancareofeachseparatebristle。AndallthiswasdonewiththateaseandgracewhichshouldbethecharacteristicsofadignitaryoftheestablishedEnglishChurch。
  IhadaccompaniedMr。HornetotheRhine;andwehadreachedBrusselsonourreturn,justatthecloseofthatrevolutionwhichendedinaffordingathronetotheson—in—lawofGeorgetheFourth。
  AtthatmomentGeneralChasse’snameandfamewereineveryman’smouth,and,likeothercuriousadmirersofthebrave,Mr。HornedeterminedtodevotetwodaystothesceneofthelateeventsatAntwerp。Antwerp,moreover,possessesperhapsthefinestspire,andcertainlyoneofthethreeorfourfinestpictures,intheworld。
  OfGeneralChasse,ofthecathedral,andoftheRubens,Ihadheardmuch,andwasthereforewellpleasedthatsuchshouldbehisresolution。ThisaccomplishedweweretoreturntoBrussels;andthence,viaGhent,Ostend,andDover,ItocompletemylegalstudiesinLondon,andMr。HornetoenjoyoncemorethepeacefulretirementofOllertonrectory。AsweweretobeabsentfromBrusselsbutonenightwewereenabledtoindulgeinthegratificationoftravellingwithoutourluggage。Asmallsac—de—nuitwasprepared;brushes,combs,razors,strops,achangeoflinen,&c。&c。,werecarefullyputup;butourheavybaggage,ourcoats,waistcoats,andotherwearingapparelwereunnecessary。Itwasdelightfultofeeloneselfsolight—handed。Thereverendgentleman,withmyhumbleselfbyhisside,lefttheportaloftheHoteldeBelleVueat7a。m。,ingoodhumourwithalltheworld。Therewerenorailroadsinthosedays;
  butacabriolet,bigenoughtoholdsixpersons,withropetracesandcorrespondingappendages,depositedusattheGoldenFleeceinsomethinglessthansixhours。Theinwardmanwasdulyfortified,andwestartedforthecastle。
  Itbootsnotheretodescribetheeffectswhichgunpowderandgrape—
  shothadhadonthewallsofAntwerp。LetthecuriousinthesemattersreadthehorrorsofthesiegeofTroy,orthehistoryofJerusalemtakenbyTitus。TheonemaybefoundinHomer,andtheotherinJosephus。OriftheypreferdoingsofalaterdatethereisthetakingofSebastopol,asnarratedinthecolumnsofthe"Times"newspaper。Theaccountsareequallytrue,instructive,andintelligible。InthemeantimeallowtheRev。AugustusHorneandmyselftoentertheprivatechambersoftherenownedthoughdefeatedgeneral。
  Werambledforawhilethroughthecoveredway,overtheglacisandalongthecounterscarp,andlistenedtotheguideashedetailedtous,inalreadyaccustomedwords,howthesiegehadgone。Thenwegotintotheprivateapartmentsofthegeneral,and,havingdexterouslyshakenoffourattendant,wanderedatlargeamongthedesertedrooms。
  "Itisclearthatnooneevercomeshere,"saidI。
  "No,"saidtheRev。Augustus;"itseemsnot;andtotellthetruth,Idon’tknowwhyanyoneshouldcome。Thechambersinthemselvesarenotattractive。"
  Whathesaidwastrue。Theywereplain,ugly,square,unfurnishedrooms,hereabigone,andtherealittleone,asisusualinmosthouses;——unfurnished,thatis,forthemostpart。Inoneplacewedidfindatableandafewchairs,inanotherabedstead,andsoon。
  Buttomeitwaspleasanttoindulgeinthoseruminationswhichanytracesofthegreatorunfortunatecreateinsoftlysympathisingminds。Foratimewecommunicatedourthoughtstoeachotherasweroamedfreeasairthroughtheapartments;andthenIlingeredforafewmomentsbehind,whileMr。Hornemovedonwithaquickerstep。
  AtlastIenteredthebedchamberofthegeneral,andthereI
  overtookmyfriend。Hewasinspecting,withmuchattention,anarticleofthegreatman’swardrobewhichheheldinhishand。Itwaspreciselythatvirilehabilimenttowhichawell—knowngallantcaptainalludesinhisconversationwiththeposthumousappearanceofMissBailey,ascontainingaBankofEngland5poundnote。
  "Thegeneralmusthavebeenalargeman,George,orhewouldhardlyhavefilledthese,"saidMr。Horne,holdinguptothelighttherespectableleathernarticlesinquestion。"Hemusthavebeenaverylargeman,——thelargestmaninAntwerp,Ishouldthink;orelsehistailorhasdonehimmorethanjustice。"
  Theywerecertainlylarge,andhadaboutthemacharmingregimentalmilitaryappearance。Theyweremadeofwhiteleather,withbrightmetalbuttonsatthekneesandbrightmetalbuttonsatthetop。
  Theyownednopockets,andwere,withtheexceptionofthelegitimateoutlet,continuousinthecircumferenceofthewaistband。
  Nodanglingstringsgavethemanappearanceofsenileimbecility。
  Wereitnotforacertainrigidity,sternness,andmentalinflexibility,——wewillcallitmilitaryardour,——withwhichtheywereimbued,theywouldhavecreatedenvyinthebosomofafox—
  hunter。
  Mr。Hornewasnofox—hunter,butstillheseemedtobeirresistiblytakenwiththelady—likepropensityofwishingtowearthem。
  "Surely,George,"hesaid,"thegeneralmusthavebeenastoutermanthanIam"——andhecontemplatedhisownproportionswithcomplacency——"thesewhat’s—the—namesarequitebigenoughforme。"
  Idifferedinopinion,andwasobligedtoexplainthatIthoughthedidthegoodlivingofOllertoninsufficientjustice。
  "Iamsuretheyarelargeenoughforme,"herepeated,withconsiderableobstinacy。Ismiledincredulously;andthentosettlethematterheresolvedthathewouldtrythemon。Nobodyhadbeenintheseroomsforthelasthour,anditappearedasthoughtheywerenevervisited。Eventheguidehadnotcomeonwithus,butwasemployedinshowingotherpartiesaboutthefortifications。Itwasclearthatthisportionofthebuildingwasleftdesolate,andthattheexperimentmightbesafelymade。SothesportiverectordeclaredthathewouldforashorttimeweartheregimentalswhichhadoncecontainedthevalorousheartofGeneralChasse。
  WithalldecorumtheRev。Mr。HornedivestedhimselfoftheworkoftheLondonartist’sneedle,and,carefullyplacinghisowngarmentsbeyondthereachofdust,essayedtofithimselfinmilitarygarb。
  Atthatimportantmoment——atthecriticalinstantoftheattempt——
  theclatteroffemalevoiceswasheardapproachingthechamber。
  Theymusthavesuddenlycomeroundsomepassagecorner,foritwasevidentbythesoundthattheywerecloseuponusbeforewehadanywarningoftheiradvent。AtthisveryminuteMr。Hornewassomewhatembarrassedinhisattempts,andwasnotfullyinpossessionofhisusualactivepowersofmovement,norofhisusualpresenceofmind。
  Heonlylookedforescape;andseeingadoorpartlyopen,hewithdifficultyretreatedthroughit,andIfollowedhim。Wefoundthatwewereinasmalldressing—room;andasbygoodluckthedoorwasdefendedbyaninnerbolt,myfriendwasabletoprotecthimself。
  "Thereshallbeanothersiege,atanyrateasstoutasthelast,beforeIsurrender,"saidhe。
  Astheladiesseemedinclinedtolingerintheroomitbecameamatterofimportancethattheabove—namedarticlesshouldfit,notonlyforornamentbutforuse。Itwasverycold,andMr。HornewasaltogetherunusedtomoveinaHighlandsphereoflife。Butalas,alas!GeneralChassehadnotbeennurturedintheclassicalretirementofOllerton。Theungivingleatherwouldstretchnopointtoaccommodatethedivine,thoughithadbeenwillingtoministertotheconvenienceofthesoldier。Mr。Hornewasvexedandchilled;
  andthrowingthenowhatefulgarmentsintoacorner,andprotectinghimselffromthecoldasbesthemightbystandingwithhiskneestogetherandhisbodysomewhatbentsoastogivetheskirtsofhiscoatanopportunityofdoingextraduty,hebeggedmetoseeifthosejabberingfemaleswerenotgoingtoleavehiminpeacetorecoverhisownproperty。Iaccordinglywenttothedoor,andopeningittoasmallextentIpeepedthrough。
  WhoshalldescribemyhorroratthesightwhichIthensaw?Thescene,whichhadhithertobeentintedwithcomiceffect,wasnowbecomingsodecidedlytragicthatIdidnotdareatoncetoacquaintmyworthypastorwiththatwhichwasoccurring,——and,alas!hadalreadyoccurred。
  Fivecountry—womenofourown——itwaseasytoknowthembytheirdressandgeneralaspect——werestandinginthemiddleoftheroom;
  andoneofthem,thecentreofthegroup,theseniorharpyofthelot,amaidenlady——Icouldhavesworntothat——witharednose,heldinonehandahugepairofscissors,andintheother——thealreadydevotedgoodsofmymostunfortunatecompanion!Downfromthewaistband,throughthatgoodlyexpanse,afellgashhadalreadygonethroughandthrough;andinuseless,unbecomingdisorderthebroadclothfellpendantfromherarmonthissideandonthat。AtthatmomentIconfessthatIhadnotthecouragetospeaktoMr。
  Horne,——noteventolookathim。
  Imustdescribethatgroup。OfthefigurenexttomeIcouldonlyseetheback。Itwasabroadbackdoneupinblacksilknotofthenewest。Thewholefigure,onemaysay,wasdumpy。Theblacksilkwasnotlong,asdressesnowareworn,norwideinitsskirts。Ineverywayitwasskimpy,consideringthebreadthithadtocover;
  andbelowthesilkIsawtheheelsoftwothickshoes,andenoughtoswearbyoftwowoollenstockings。Abovethesilkwasaredandblueshawl;andabovethataponderous,elaboratebrownbonnet,astothematerialsofwhichIshouldnotwishtoundergoanexamination。OverandbeyondthisIcouldonlyseethebacksofhertwohands。Theywereheldupasthoughinwonderatthatwhichthered—nosedholderofthescissorshaddaredtodo。
  Oppositetothislady,andwithherfacefullytamedtome,wasakindly—looking,fatmotherlywoman,withlight—colouredhair,notinthebestorder。Shewashotandscarletwithexercise,beingperhapstoostoutforthesteepstepsofthefortress;andinonehandsheheldahandkerchief,withwhichfromtimetotimeshewipedherbrow。Intheotherhandsheheldoneoftheextremitiesofmyfriend’sproperty,feeling——good,carefulsoul!——whatwasthetextureofthecloth。Asshedidso,Icouldseeaglanceofapprobationpassacrossherwarmfeatures。Ilikedthatlady’sface,inspiteofheruntidyhair,andfeltthathadshebeenalonemyfriendwouldnothavebeeninjured。
  Oneithersideofhertherestoodaflaxen—hairedmaiden,withlongcurls,largeblueeyes,freshredcheeks,anundefinedlumpynose,andlargegood—humouredmouth。Theywereaslikeastwopeas,onlythatonewashalfaninchtallerthantheother;andtherewasnodifficultyindiscovering,atamoment’sglance,thattheywerethechildrenofthatover—heatedmatronwhowasfeelingthewebofmyfriend’scloth。
  Buttheprincipalfigurewasshewhoheldthecentreplaceinthegroup。Shewastallandthin,withfierce—lookingeyes,renderedmorefiercebythespectacleswhichshewore;witharednoseasI
  saidbefore;andaboutheranundescribablesomethingwhichquiteconvincedmethatshehadneverknown——couldneverknow——aughtofthecomfortsofmarriedlife。Itwasshewhoheldthescissorsandtheblackgarments。Itwasshewhohadgiventhatunkindcut。AsI
  lookedathershewhiskedherselfquicklyroundfromonecompaniontotheother,triumphinginwhatshehaddone,andreadytotriumphfurtherinwhatshewasabouttodo。IimmediatelyconceivedadeephatredforthatQueenoftheHarpies。
  "Well,Isupposetheycan’tbewantedagain,"saidthemother,rubbingherforehead。
  "Ohdearno!"saidsheoftherednose。"Theyarerelics!"I
  thoughttoleapforth;butforwhatpurposeshouldIhaveleaped?
  Theaccursedscissorshadalreadydonetheirwork;andthesymmetry,nay,eventheutilityofthevestmentwasdestroyed。
  "GeneralChasseworeaverygoodarticle;——Iwillsaythatforhim,"
  continuedthemother。
  "Ofcoursehedid!"saidtheQueenHarpy。"Whyshouldhenot,seeingthatthecountrypaidforitforhim?Well,ladies,who’sforhavingabit?"
  "Ohmy!youwon’tgofortocutthemup,"saidthestoutback。
  "Won’tI,"saidthescissors;andsheimmediatelymadeanotherincision。"Who’sforhavingabit?Don’tallspeakatonce。"
  "Ishouldlikeamorselforapincushion,"saidflaxen—hairedMissNo。1,ayoungladyaboutnineteen,actuatedbyageneralaffectionforallsword—bearing,fire—eatingheroes。"Ishouldliketohavesomethingtomakemethinkofthepoorgeneral!"
  Snip,snipwentthescissorswithprofessionalrapidity,andaroundpiecewasextractedfromthebackofthecalfoftheleftleg。I
  shudderedwithhorror;andsodidtheRev。AugustusHornewithcold。
  "Ihardlythinkit’spropertocutthemup,"saidMissNo。2。
  "Ohisn’tit?"saidtheharpy。"ThenI’lldowhat’simproper!"Andshegotherfingerandthumbwellthroughtheholesinthescissors’
  handles。Asshespokeresolutionwasplainlymarkedonherbrow。
  "Well,iftheyaretobecutup,Ishouldcertainlylikeabitforapen—wiper,"saidNo。2。No。2wasaliteraryyoungladywithaperiodicalcorrespondence,ajournal,andanalbum。Snip,snipwentthescissorsagain,andthebroadpartoftheupperrightdivisionaffordedamplematerialsforapen—wiper。
  Thentheladywiththeback,seeingthatthedesecrationofthearticlehadbeencompleted,pluckedupheartofcourageandputinherlittlerequest;"IthinkImighthaveaneedle—caseoutofit,"
  saidshe,"justasasuvneerofthepoorgeneral"——andalongfragmentcutrapidlyoutofthewaistbandaffordedherunqualifieddelight。
  Mamma,withthehotfaceanduntidyhair,camenext。"Well,girls,"
  shesaid,"asyouareallserved,Idon’tseewhyI’mtobeleftout。Perhaps,MissGrogram"——shewasanoldmaid,yousee——
  "perhaps,MissGrogram,youcouldgetmeasmuchaswouldmakeadecent—sizedreticule。"
  Therewasnottheslightestdifficultyindoingthis。Theharpyinthecentreagainwenttowork,snip,snip,andextractingfromthatportionoftheaffairswhichusuallysustainedthegreaterportionofMr。Horne’sweighttwolargeroundpiecesofcloth,presentedthemtothewell—pleasedmatron。"Thegeneralknewwellwheretogetabitofgoodbroadcloth,certainly,"saidshe,againfeelingthepieces。
  "AndnowforNo。1,"saidshewhomIsoabsolutelyhated;"Ithinkthereisstillenoughforapairofslippers。There’snothingsoniceforthehouseasgoodblackclothslippersthatarewarmtothefeetanddon’tshowthedirt。"Andsosaying,shespreadoutonthefloorthelaceratedremainders。
  "There’sanicebitthere,"saidyoungladyNo。2,pokingatoneofthepocketswiththeendofherparasol。
  "Yes,"saidtheharpy,contemplatingherplunder。"ButI’mthinkingwhetherIcouldn’tgetleggingsaswell。Ialwayswearleggingsinthethickofthewinter。"Andsosheconcludedheroperations,andtherewasnothingleftbutamelancholyskeletonofseamsandbuttons。
  Allthishavingbeenachieved,theypocketedtheirplunderandpreparedtodepart。Therearepeoplewhohaveawonderfulappetiteforrelics。AstonewithwhichWashingtonhadbrokenawindowwhenaboy——withwhichhehaddonesoorhadnot,forthereislittledifference;abuttonthatwasonacoatofNapoleon’s,oronthatofoneofhislackeys;abulletsaidtohavebeenpickedupatWaterlooorBunker’sHill;these,andsuchlikethingsaregreattreasures。
  Andtheirmostdesirablecharacteristicistheeasewithwhichtheyareattained。Anybulletoranybuttondoesthework。Faithaloneisnecessary。Andnowtheseladieshadmadethemselveshappyandgloriouswith"Relics"ofGeneralChassecutfromtheill—usedhabilimentsofanelderlyEnglishgentleman!
  Theydepartedatlast,andMr。Horne,foronceinanillhumour,followedmeintothebedroom。HereImustbeexcusedifIdrawaveiloverhismanlysorrowatdiscoveringwhatfatehaddoneforhim。Rememberwhatwashisposition,unclothedintheCastleofAntwerp!ThenearestsuitablechangeforthosewhichhadbeendestroyedwaslockedupinhisportmanteauattheHoteldeBelleRueinBrussels!Hehadnothinglefttohim——literallynothing,inthatAntwerpworld。TherewasnootherwretchedbeingwanderingtheninthatDutchtownsoutterlydenudedofthegoodsoflife。Forwhatisamanfit,——forwhatcanhebefit,——whenleftinsuchaposition?Therearesomeevilswhichseemutterlytocrushaman;
  andiftherebeanymisfortunetowhichamanmaybeallowedtosuccumbwithoutimputationonhismanliness,surelyitissuchasthis。HowwasMr。Hornetoreturntohishotelwithoutincurringthedispleasureofthemunicipality?Thatwasmyfirstthought。
  Hehadacloak,butitwasattheinn;andIfoundthatmyfriendwasoppressedwithagreathorrorattheideaofbeingleftalone;
  sothatIcouldnotgoinsearchofit。Thereisanoldsaying,thatnomanisaherotohisvaletdechambre,thereasondoubtlessbeingthis,thatitiscustomaryforhisvalettoseetheherodivestedofthosetrappingsinwhichsomuchoftheheroicconsists。
  Whoreverencesaclergymanwithouthisgown,orawarriorwithouthisswordandsabre—tasche?WhatwouldevenMinervabewithoutherhelmet?
  IdonotwishittobeunderstoodthatInolongerreverencedMr。
  Hornebecausehewasinanundress;buthehimselfcertainlylostmuchofhiscomposed,well—sustaineddignityofdemeanour。Hewasfearfulandquerulous,cold,andrathercross。When,forgettinghissize,Iofferedhimmyown,hethoughtthatIwaslaughingathim。
  Hebegantobeafraidthatthestorywouldgetabroad,andhethenandthereexactedapromisethatIwouldnevertellitduringhislifetime。Ihavekeptmyword;butnowmyoldfriendhasbeengatheredtohisfathers,fullofyears。
  AtlastIgothimtothehotel。Itwaslongbeforehewouldleavethecastle,cloakedthoughhewas;——not,indeed,tilltheshadesofeveninghaddimmedtheoutlinesofmenandthings,andmadeindistincttheoutwardgarnitureofthosewhopassedtoandfrointhestreets。Then,wrappedinhiscloak,Mr。Hornefollowedmealongthequaysandthroughthenarrowestofthestreets;andatlength,withoutventuringtoreturnthegazeofanyoneinthehotelcourt,hemadehiswayuptohisownbedroom。
  Dinnerlessandsupperlesshewenttohiscouch。Butwhentherehedidconsenttoreceivesomeconsolationintheshapeofmuttoncutletsandfriedpotatoes,asavoryomelet,andabottleofclaret。
  ThemuttoncutletsandfriedpotatoesattheGoldenFleeceatAntwerpare——orwerethen,forIamspeakingnowofwell—nighthirtyyearssince——remarkablygood;theclaret,also,wasofthebest;andso,bydegrees,thelookofdespairingdismaypassedfromhisface,andsomescintillationsoftheoldfirereturnedtohiseyes。
  "Iwonderwhethertheyfindthemselvesmuchhappierforwhattheyhavegot?"saidhe。
  "Agreatdealhappier,"saidI。"They’llboastofthosethingstoalltheirfriendsathome,andweshalldoubtlessseesomeaccountoftheirsuccessinthenewspapers。"
  "Itwouldbedelightfultoexposetheirblunder,——toshowthemup。