interruptedhim,andtoldhimIwassorryIhadgonesofar,
sinceIsawwhatdisorderitputhiminto,butIdesiredhim
nottotalktomeofexplanations,forthatwouldbutmake
thingsworse。
Thisheightenedhisimpatience,and,indeed,perplexedhim
beyondallbearing;fornowhebegantosuspectthatthere
wassomemysteryyetunfolded,butcouldnotmaketheleast
guessattherealparticularsofit;allthatraninhisbrainwas,
thatIhadanotherhusbandalive,whichIcouldnotsayinfact
mightnotbetrue,butIassuredhim,however,therewasnot
theleastofthatinit;andindeed,astomyotherhusband,he
waseffectuallydeadinlawtome,andhadtoldmeIshould
lookonhimassuch,soIhadnottheleastuneasinessonthat
score。
ButnowIfoundthethingtoofargonetoconcealitmuch
longer,andmyhusbandhimselfgavemeanopportunityto
easemyselfofthesecret,muchtomysatisfaction。
Hehad
labouredwithmethreeorfourweeks,buttonopurpose,only
totellhimwhetherIhadspokenthesewordsonlyastheeffect
ofmypassion,toputhiminapassion,orwhethertherewas
anythingof
truthinthebottomofthem。
ButIcontinued
inflexible,andwouldexplainnothing,unlesshewouldfirst
consenttomygoingtoEngland,whichhewouldneverdo,
hesaid,whilehelived;ontheotherhand,Isaiditwasinmy
powertomakehimwillingwhenIpleased——nay,tomakehim
entreatmetogo;andthisincreasedhiscuriosity,andmadehim
importunatetothehighestdegree,butitwasalltonopurpose。
Atlengthhetellsallthisstorytohismother,andsetsherupon
metogetthemainsecretoutofme,andsheusedherutmost
skillwithmeindeed;butIputhertoafullstopatonceby
tellingherthatthereasonandmysteryofthewholematterlay
inherself,andthatitwasmyrespecttoherthathadmademe
concealit;andthat,inshort,Icouldgonofarther,andtherefore
conjuredhernottoinsistuponit。
Shewasstruckdumbatthissuggestion,andcouldnottell
whattosayortothink;but,layingasidethesuppositionasa
policyofmine,continuedherimportunityonaccountofher
son,and,ifpossible,tomakeupthebreachbetweenustwo。
Astothat,Itoldherthatitwasindeedagooddesigninher,
butthatitwasimpossibletobedone;andthatifIshouldreveal
toherthetruthofwhatshedesired,shewouldgrantittobe
impossible,andceasetodesireit。
AtlastIseemedtobe
prevailedonbyherimportunity,andtoldherIdaredtrusther
withasecretofthegreatestimportance,andshewouldsoon
seethatthiswasso,andthatIwouldconsenttolodgeitin
herbreast,ifshewouldengagesolemnlynottoacquainther
sonwithitwithoutmyconsent。
Shewaslonginpromisingthispart,butratherthannotcome
atthemainsecret,sheagreedtothattoo,andafteragreat
manyotherpreliminaries,Ibegan,andtoldherthewholestory。
FirstItoldherhowmuchshewasconcernedinalltheunhappy
breachwhichhadhappenedbetweenhersonandme,bytelling
meherownstoryandherLondonname;andthatthesurprise
shesawIwasinwasuponthatoccasion。
TheItoldhermy
ownstory,andmyname,andassuredher,bysuchothertokens
asshecouldnotdeny,thatIwasnoother,normoreorless,
thanherownchild,herdaughter,bornofherbodyinNewgate;
thesamethathadsavedherfromthegallowsbybeinginher
belly,andthesamethatsheleftinsuch-and-suchhandswhen
shewastransported。
Itisimpossibletoexpresstheastonishmentshewasin;she
wasnotinclinedtobelievethestory,ortorememberthe
particulars,forsheimmediatelyforesawtheconfusionthat
mustfollowinthefamilyuponit。
Buteverythingconcurred
soexactlywiththestoriesshehadtoldmeofherself,andwhich,
ifshehadnottoldme,shewouldperhapshavebeencontent
tohavedenied,thatshehadstoppedherownmouth,andshe
hadnothingtodobuttotakemeabouttheneckandkissme,
andcrymostvehementlyoverme,withoutspeakingoneword
foralongtimetogether。
Atlastshebrokeout:
’Unhappychild!’
saysshe,’whatmiserablechancecouldbringtheehither?and
inthearmsofmyownson,too!
Dreadfulgirl,’saysshe,’why,
weareallundone!
Marriedtothyownbrother!
Threechildren,
andtwoalive,allofthesamefleshandblood!
Mysonandmy
daughterlyingtogetherashusbandandwife!
Allconfusion
anddistractionforever!
Miserablefamily!whatwillbecome
ofus?
Whatistobesaid?
Whatistobedone?’
Andthusshe
ranonforagreatwhile;norhadIanypowertospeak,orif
Ihad,didIknowwhattosay,foreverywordwoundedmeto
thesoul。
Withthiskindofamazementonourthoughtswe
partedforthefirsttime,thoughmymotherwasmoresurprised
thanIwas,becauseitwasmorenewstoherthantome。
However,shepromisedagaintomeatparting,thatshewould
saynothingofittoherson,tillwehadtalkedofitagain。
EndofPart3
Part4
Itwasnotlong,youmaybesure,beforewehadasecond
conferenceuponthesamesubject;when,asifshehadbeen
willingtoforgetthestoryshehadtoldmeofherself,orto
supposethatIhadforgotsomeoftheparticulars,shebegan
totellthemwithalterationsandomissions;butIrefreshedher
memoryandsethertorightsinmanythingswhichIsupposed
shehadforgot,andthencameinsoopportunelywiththe
wholehistory,thatitwasimpossibleforhertogofromit;and
thenshefellintoherrhapsodiesagain,andexclamationsatthe
severityofhermisfortunes。
Whenthesethingswerealittle
overwithher,wefellintoaclosedebateaboutwhatshould
befirstdonebeforewegaveanaccountofthemattertomy
husband。
Buttowhatpurposecouldbeallourconsultations?
Wecouldneitherofusseeourwaythroughit,norseehowit
couldbesafetoopensuchascenetohim。
Itwasimpossible
tomakeanyjudgment,orgiveanyguessatwhattemperhe
wouldreceiveitin,orwhatmeasureshewouldtakeuponit;
andifheshouldhavesolittlegovernmentofhimselfastomake
itpublic,weeasilyforesawthatitwouldbetheruinofthe
wholefamily,andexposemymotherandmetothelastdegree;
andifatlastheshouldtaketheadvantagethelawwouldgive
him,hemightputmeawaywithdisdainandleavemetosue
forthelittleportionthatIhad,andperhapswasteitallinthe
suit,andthenbeabeggar;thechildrenwouldberuinedtoo,
havingnolegalclaimtoanyofhiseffects;andthusIshould
seehim,perhaps,inthearmsofanotherwifeinafewmonths,
andbemyselfthemostmiserablecreaturealive。
MymotherwasassensibleofthisasI;and,uponthewhole,
weknewnotwhattodo。
Aftersometimewecametomore
soberresolutions,butthenitwaswiththismisfortunetoo,that
mymother’sopinionandminewerequitedifferentfromone
another,andindeedinconsistentwithoneanother;formy
mother’sopinionwas,thatIshouldburythewholething
entirely,andcontinuetolivewithhimasmyhusbandtillsome
othereventshouldmakethediscoveryofitmoreconvenient;
andthatinthemeantimeshewouldendeavourtoreconcileus
togetheragain,andrestoreourmutualcomfortandfamily
peace;thatwemightlieasweusedtodotogether,andsolet
thewholematterremainasecretascloseasdeath。
’For,child,’
saysshe,’wearebothundoneifitcomesout。’
Toencouragemetothis,shepromisedtomakemeeasyinmy
circumstances,asfarasshewasable,andtoleavemewhat
shecouldatherdeath,securedformeseparatelyfrommy
husband;sothatifitshouldcomeoutafterwards,Ishouldnot
beleftdestitute,butbeabletostandonmyownfeetand
procurejusticefromhim。
Thisproposaldidnotagreeatallwithmyjudgmentofthe
thing,thoughitwasveryfairandkindinmymother;butmy
thoughtsranquiteanotherway。
Astokeepingthethinginourownbreasts,andlettingitall
remainasitwas,Itoldheritwasimpossible;andIaskedher
howshecouldthinkIcouldbearthethoughtsoflyingwith
myownbrother。
Inthenextplace,Itoldherthatherbeing
alivewastheonlysupportofthediscovery,andthatwhileshe
ownedmeforherchild,andsawreasontobesatisfiedthatI
wasso,nobodyelsewoulddoubtit;butthatifsheshoulddie
beforethediscovery,Ishouldbetakenforanimpudentcreature
thathadforgedsuchathingtogoawayfrommyhusband,or
shouldbecountedcrazedanddistracted。
ThenItoldherhow
hehadthreatenedalreadytoputmeintoamadhouse,andwhat
concernIhadbeeninaboutit,andhowthatwasthethingthat
drovemetothenecessityofdiscoveringittoherasIhaddone。
FromallwhichItoldher,thatIhad,onthemostserious
reflectionsIwasabletomakeinthecase,cometothisresolution,
whichIhopedshewouldlike,asamediumbetweenboth,viz。
thatsheshoulduseherendeavourswithhersontogiveme
leavetogotoEngland,asIhaddesired,andtofurnishmewith
asufficientsumofmoney,eitheringoodsalongwithme,or
inbillsformysupportthere,allalongsuggestingthathemight
onetimeorotherthinkitpropertocomeovertome。
ThatwhenIwasgone,sheshouldthen,incoldblood,and
afterfirstobliginghiminthesolemnestmannerpossibleto
secrecy,discoverthecasetohim,doingitgradually,andas
herowndiscretionshouldguideher,sothathemightnotbe
surprisedwithit,andflyoutintoanypassionsandexcesses
onmyaccount,oronhers;andthatsheshouldconcernherself
topreventhisslightingthechildren,ormarryingagain,unless
hehadacertainaccountofmybeingdead。
Thiswasmyscheme,andmyreasonsweregood;Iwasreally
alienatedfromhimintheconsequencesofthesethings;indeed,
Imortallyhatedhimasahusband,anditwasimpossibleto
removethatrivetedaversionIhadtohim。
Atthesametime,