wasnosoonersaidbutIsteppedintotheshop,andwithmy
backtothewench,asifIhadstoodupforacartthatwas
goingby,Iputmyhandbehindmeandtookthebundle,and
wentoffwithit,themaidorthefellownotperceivingme,or
anyoneelse。
Itisimpossibletoexpressthehorrorofmysoulalthewhile
Ididit。
WhenIwentawayIhadnohearttorun,orscarceto
mendmypace。
Icrossedthestreetindeed,andwentdown
thefirstturningIcameto,andIthinkitwasastreetthatwent
throughintoFenchurchStreet。
FromthenceIcrossedand
turnedthroughsomanywaysanturnings,thatIcouldnever
tellwhichwayitwas,notwhereIwent;forIfeltnotthe
groundIsteppedon,andthefartherIwasoutofdanger,the
fasterIwent,till,tiredandoutofbreath,Iwasforcedtosit
downonalittlebenchatadoor,andthenIbegantorecover,
andfoundIwasgotintoThamesStreet,nearBillingsgate。
I
restedmealittleandwenton;mybloodwasallinafire;my
heartbeatasifIwasinasuddenfright。
Inshort,Iwasunder
suchasurprisethatIstillknewnotwitherIwasgoing,or
whattodo。
AfterIhadtiredmyselfthuswithwalkingalongwayabout,
andsoeagerly,Ibegantoconsiderandmakehometomy
lodging,whereIcameaboutnineo’clockatnight。
Whenthebundlewasmadeupfor,oronwhatoccasionlaid
whereIfoundit,Iknewnot,butwhenIcametoopenitI
foundtherewasasuitofchildbed-lineninit,verygoodand
almostnew,thelaceveryfine;therewasasilverporringerof
apint,asmallsilvermugandsixspoons,withsomeother
linen,agoodsmock,andthreesilkhandkerchiefs,andinthe
mug,wrappedupinapaper,18s。6d。inmoney。
AllthewhileIwasopeningthesethingsIwasundersuch
dreadfulimpressionsoffear,andIsuchterrorofmind,though
Iwasperfectlysafe,thatIcannotexpressthemannerofit。
I
satmedown,andcriedmostvehemently。
’Lord,’saidI,’what
amInow?athief!
Why,Ishallbetakenexttime,andbe
carriedtoNewgateandbetriedformylife!’
AndwiththatI
criedagainalongtime,andIamsure,aspoorasIwas,ifI
haddurstforfear,Iwouldcertainlyhavecarriedthethings
backagain;butthatwentoffafterawhile。
Well,Iwentto
bedforthatnight,butsleptlittle;thehorrorofthefactwas
uponmymind,andIknewnotwhatIsaidordidallnight,
andallthenextday。
ThenIwasimpatienttohearsomenews
oftheloss;andwouldfainknowhowitwas,whetherthey
wereapoorbody’sgoods,orarich。
’Perhaps,’saidI,’it
maybesomepoorwidowlikeme,thathadpackedupthese
goodstogoandsellthemforalittlebreadforherselfanda
poorchild,andarenowstarvingandbreakingtheirheartsfor
wantofthatlittletheywouldhavefetched。’
Andthisthought
tormentedmeworsethanalltherest,forthreeorfourdays’
time。
Butmyowndistressessilencedallthesereflections,andthe
prospectofmyownstarving,whichgreweverydaymore
frightfultome,hardenedmyheartbydegrees。
Itwasthen
particularlyheavyuponmymind,thatIhadbeenreformed,
andhad,asIhoped,repentedofallmypastwickedness;that
Ihadlivedasober,grave,retiredlifeforseveralyears,butnow
Ishouldbedrivenbythedreadfulnecessityofmycircumstances
tothegatesofdestruction,soulandbody;andtwoorthree
timesIfelluponmyknees,prayingtoGod,aswellasIcould,
fordeliverance;butIcannotbutsay,myprayershadnohope
inthem。
Iknewnotwhattodo;itwasallfearwithout,and
darkwithin;andIreflectedonmypastlifeasnotsincerely
repentedof,thatHeavenwasnowbeginningtopunishmeon
thissidethegrave,andwouldmakemeasmiserableasIhad
beenwicked。
HadIgoneonhereIhadperhapsbeenatruepenitent;butI
hadanevilcounsellorwithin,andhewascontinuallyprompting
metorelievemyselfbytheworstmeans;sooneeveninghe
temptedmeagain,bythesamewickedimpulsethathadsaid
’Takethatbundle,’togooutagainandseekforwhatmight
happen。
Iwentoutnowbydaylight,andwanderedaboutIknewnot
whither,andinsearchofIknewnotwhat,whenthedevilput
asnareinmywayofadreadfulnatureindeed,andsuchaone
asIhaveneverhadbeforeorsince。
GoingthroughAldersgate
Street,therewasaprettylittlechildwhohadbeenatadancing-
school,andwasgoinghome,allalone;andmyprompter,like
atruedevil,setmeuponthisinnocentcreature。
Italkedtoit,
anditprattledtomeagain,andItookitbythehandandled
italongtillIcametoapavedalleythatgoesintoBartholomew
Close,andIleditinthere。
Thechildsaidthatwasnotitsway
home。
Isaid,’Yes,mydear,itis;I’llshowyouthewayhome。’
Thechildhadalittlenecklaceonofgoldbeads,andIhadmy
eyeuponthat,andinthedarkofthealleyIstooped,pretending
tomendthechild’sclogthatwasloose,andtookoffher
necklace,andthechildneverfeltit,andsoledthechildon
again。
Here,Isay,thedevilputmeuponkillingthechildin
thedarkalley,thatitmightnotcry,buttheverythought
frightedmesothatIwasreadytodropdown;butIturnedthe
childaboutandbadeitgobackagain,forthatwasnotitsway
home。
Thechildsaid,soshewould,andIwentthroughinto
BartholomewClose,andthenturnedroundtoanotherpassage
thatgoesintoSt。JohnStreet;then,crossingintoSmithfield,
wentdownChickLaneandintoFieldLanetoHolbornBridge,
when,mixingwiththecrowdofpeopleusuallypassingthere,
itwasnotpossibletohavebeenfoundout;andthusI
enterprisedmysecondsallyintotheworld。
Thethoughtsofthisbootyputoutallthethoughtsofthefirst,
andthereflectionsIhadmadeworequicklyoff;poverty,asI
havesaid,hardenedmyheart,andmyownnecessitiesmade
meregardlessofanything。
Thelastaffairleftnogreatconcern
uponme,forasIdidthepoorchildnoharm,Ionlysaidto
myself,Ihadgiventheparentsajustreprooffortheirnegligence
inleavingthepoorlittlelambtocomehomebyitself,andit
wouldteachthemtotakemorecareofitanothertime。
Thisstringofbeadswasworthabouttwelveorfourteenpounds。
Isupposeitmighthavebeenformerlythemother’s,foritwas
toobigforthechild’swear,butthatperhapsthevanityofthe
mother,tohaveherchildlookfineatthedancing-school,had
madeherletthechildwearit;andnodoubtthechildhada
maidsenttotakecareofit,butshe,carelessjade,wastaken
upperhapswithsomefellowthathadmetherbytheway,
andsothepoorbabywanderedtillitfellintomyhands。
However,Ididthechildnoharm;Ididnotsomuchasfright
it,forIhadagreatmanytenderthoughtsaboutmeyet,and
didnothingbutwhat,asImaysay,merenecessitydrovemeto。
Ihadagreatmanyadventuresafterthis,butIwasyoungin
thebusiness,anddidnotknowhowtomanage,otherwisethan
asthedevilputthingsintomyhead;andindeedhewasseldom
backwardtome。
OneadventureIhadwhichwasverylucky
tome。
IwasgoingthroughLombardStreetintheduckofthe
evening,justbytheendofThreeKingcourt,whenonasudden
comesafellowrunningbymeasswiftaslightning,andthrows
abundlethatwasinhishand,justbehindme,asIstoodup
againstthecornerofthehouseattheturningintothealley。
Justashethrewitinhesaid,’Godblessyou,mistress,letit
lietherealittle,’andawayherunsswiftasthewind。
After
himcomestwomore,andimmediatelyayoungfellowwithout
hishat,crying’Stopthief!’andafterhimtwoorthreemore。
Theypursuedthetwolastfellowssoclose,thattheywere
forcedtodropwhattheyhadgot,andoneofthemwastaken
intothebargain,andothergotofffree。
Istoodstock-stillallthiswhile,tilltheycameback,dragging
thepoorfellowtheyhadtaken,andluggingthethingsthey
hadfound,extremelywellsatisfiedthattheyhadrecovered
thebootyandtakenthethief;andthustheypassedbyme,for
Ilookedonlylikeonewhostoodupwhilethecrowdwasgone。
OnceortwiceIaskedwhatwasthematter,butthepeople
neglectedansweringme,andIwasnotveryimportunate;but
afterthecrowdwaswhollypast,Itookmyopportunitytoturn
aboutandtakeupwhatwasbehindmeandwalkaway。
This,
indeed,IdidwithlessdisturbancethanIhaddoneformerly,
forthesethingsIdidnotsteal,buttheywerestolentomyhand。
Igotsafetomylodgingswiththiscargo,whichwasapieceof
fineblacklustringsilk,andapieceofvelvet;thelatterwasbut
partofapieceofaboutelevenyards;theformerwasawhole
pieceofnearfiftyyards。
Itseemsitwasamercer’sshopthat
theyhadrifled。
Isayrifled,becausethegoodswereso
considerablethattheyhadlost;forthegoodsthatthey
recoveredwereprettymany,andIbelievecametoaboutsix
orsevenseveralpiecesofsilk。
Howtheycametogetsomany
Icouldnottell;butasIhadonlyrobbedthethief,Imadeno
scrupleattakingthesegoods,andbeingverygladofthemtoo。
Ihadprettygoodluckthusfar,andImadeseveraladventures
more,thoughwithbutsmallpurchase,yetwithgoodsuccess,
butIwentindailydreadthatsomemischiefwouldbefallme,
andthatIshouldcertainlycometobehangedatlast。
The
impressionthismadeonmewastoostrongtobeslighted,and
itkeptmefrommakingattemptsthat,foroughtIknew,might
havebeenverysafelyperformed;butonethingIcannotomit,
whichwasabaittomemanyaday。