seemedastonishedatthestory，andaskedherathousand
　　questionsabouttheparticulars，whichIfoundshewas
　　thoroughlyacquaintedwith。
　　AtlastIbegantoinquireintothe
　　circumstancesofthefamily，howtheoldgentlewoman，Imean
　　mymother，died，andhowsheleftwhatshehad；formymother
　　hadpromisedmeverysolemnly，thatwhenshediedshewould
　　dosomethingforme，andleaveitso，asthat，ifIwasliving，I
　　shouldonewayorothercomeatit，withoutitsbeinginthe
　　powerofherson，mybrotherandhusband，topreventit。
　　She
　　toldmeshedidnotknowexactlyhowitwasordered，butshe
　　hadbeentoldthatmymotherhadleftasumofmoney，and
　　hadtiedherplantationforthepaymentofit，tobemadegood
　　tothedaughter，ifevershecouldbeheardof，eitherinEngland
　　orelsewhere；andthatthetrustwasleftwiththisson，whowas
　　thepersonthatwesawwithhisfather。
　　Thiswasnewstoogoodformetomakelightof，and，you
　　maybesure，filledmyheartwithathousandthoughts，what
　　courseIshouldtake，how，andwhen，andinwhatmannerI
　　shouldmakemyselfknown，orwhetherIshouldevermake
　　myselfknoworno。
　　HerewasaperplexitythatIhadnotindeedskilltomanage
　　myselfin，neitherknewIwhatcoursetotake。
　　Itlayheavy
　　uponmymindnightandday。
　　Icouldneithersleepnor
　　converse，sothatmyhusbandperceivedit，andwonderedwhat
　　ailedme，strovetodivertme，butitwasalltonopurpose。
　　He
　　pressedmetotellhimwhatitwastroubledme，butIputitoff，
　　tillatlast，importuningmecontinually，Iwasforcedtoform
　　astory，whichyethadaplaintruthtolayitupontoo。
　　Itold
　　himIwastroubledbecauseIfoundwemustshiftourquarters
　　andalterourschemeofsettling，forthatIfoundIshouldbe
　　knownifIstayedinthatpartofthecountry；forthatmymother
　　beingdead，severalofmyrelationswerecomeintothatpart
　　wherewethenwas，andthatImusteitherdiscovermyselfto
　　them，whichinourpresentcircumstanceswasnotproperon
　　manyaccounts，orremove；andwhichtodoIknewnot，and
　　thatthisitwasthatmademesomelancholyandsothoughtful。
　　Hejoinedwithmeinthis，thatitwasbynomeansproperfor
　　metomakemyselfknowntoanybodyinthecircumstances
　　inwhichwethenwere；andthereforehetoldmehewouldbe
　　willingtoremovetoanyotherpartofthecountry，orevento
　　anyothercountryifIthoughtfit。
　　ButnowIhadanother
　　difficulty，whichwas，thatifIremovedtoanyothercolony，I
　　putmyselfoutofthewayofevermakingaduesearchafter
　　thoseeffectswhichmymotherhadleft。
　　AgainIcouldnever
　　somuchasthinkofbreakingthesecretofmyformermarriage
　　tomynewhusband；itwasnotastory，asIthought，thatwould
　　beartelling，norcouldItellwhatmightbetheconsequences
　　ofit；anditwasimpossibletosearchintothebottomofthe
　　thingwithoutmakingitpublicalloverthecountry，aswell
　　whoIwas，aswhatInowwasalso。
　　InthisperplexityIcontinuedagreatwhile，andthismademy
　　spouseveryuneasy；forhefoundmeperplexed，andyetthought
　　Iwasnotopenwithhim，anddidnotlethimintoeverypart
　　ofmygrievance；andhewouldoftensay，hewonderedwhat
　　hehaddonethatIwouldnottrusthimwithwhateveritwas，
　　especiallyifitwasgrievousandafflicting。
　　Thetruthis，he
　　oughttohavebeentrustedwitheverything，fornomaninthe
　　worldcoulddeservebetterofawife；butthiswasathingI
　　knewnothowtoopentohim，andyethavingnobodyto
　　discloseanypartofitto，theburthenwastooheavyformy
　　mind；forletthemsaywhattheypleaseofoursexnotbeing
　　abletokeepasecret，mylifeisaplainconvictiontomeofthe
　　contrary；butbeitoursex，ortheman’ssex，asecretofmoment
　　shouldalwayshaveaconfidant，abosomfriend，towhomwe
　　maycommunicatethejoyofit，orthegriefofit，beitwhich
　　itwill，oritwillbeadoubleweightuponthespirits，and
　　perhapsbecomeeveninsupportableinitself；andthisIappeal
　　toallhumantestimonyforthetruthof。
　　Andthisisthecausewhymanytimesmenaswellaswomen，
　　andmenofthegreatestandbestqualitiesotherways，yethave
　　foundthemselvesweakinthispart，andhavenotbeenableto
　　beartheweightofasecretjoyorofasecretsorrow，buthave
　　beenobligedtodiscloseit，evenforthemeregivingventto
　　themselves，andtounbendthemindoppressedwiththeload
　　andweightswhichattendedit。
　　Norwasthisanytokenoffolly
　　orthoughtlessnessatall，butanaturalconsequenceofthething；
　　andsuchpeople，hadtheystruggledlongerwiththeoppression，
　　wouldcertainlyhavetolditintheirsleep，anddisclosedthe
　　secret，letithavebeenofwhatfatalnaturesoever，without
　　regardtothepersontowhomitmightbeexposed。
　　This
　　necessityofnatureisathingwhichworkssometimeswith
　　suchvehemenceinthemindsofthosewhoareguiltyofany
　　atrociousvillainy，suchassecretmurderinparticular，thatthey
　　havebeenobligedtodiscoverit，thoughtheconsequence
　　wouldnecessarilybetheirowndestruction。
　　Now，thoughtit
　　maybetruethatthedivinejusticeoughttohavethegloryof
　　allthosediscoveriesandconfessions，yet’tisascertainthat
　　Providence，whichordinarilyworksbythehandsofnature，
　　makesusehereofthesamenaturalcausestoproducethose
　　extraordinaryeffects。
　　Icouldgiveseveralremarkableinstancesofthisinmylong
　　conversationwithcrimeandwithcriminals。
　　Iknewonefellow
　　that，whileIwasinprisoninNewgate，wasoneofthosethey
　　calledthennight-fliers。
　　Iknownotwhatotherwordtheymay
　　haveunderstooditbysince，buthewasonewhobyconnivance
　　wasadmittedtogoabroadeveryevening，whenheplayedhis
　　pranks，andfurnishedthosehonestpeopletheycallthief-catchers
　　withbusinesstofindoutthenextday，andrestoreforareward
　　whattheyhadstolentheeveningbefore。
　　Thisfellowwasas
　　suretotellinhissleepallthathehaddone，andeverystephe
　　hadtaken，whathehadstolen，andwhere，assureasifhehad
　　engagedtotellitwaking，andthattherewasnoharmordanger
　　init，andthereforehewasobliged，afterhehadbeenout，to
　　lockhimselfup，orbelockedupbysomeofthekeepersthat
　　hadhiminfee，thatnobodyshouldhearhim；but，ontheother
　　hand，ifhehadtoldalltheparticulars，andgivenafullaccount
　　ofhisramblesandsuccess，toanycomrade，anybrotherthief，
　　ortohisemployers，asImayjustlycallthem，thenallwas
　　wellwithhim，andhesleptasquietlyasotherpeople。
　　Asthepublishingthisaccountofmylifeisforthesakeofthe
　　justmoralofverypartofit，andforinstruction，caution，
　　warning，andimprovementtoeveryreader，sothiswillnot
　　pass，Ihope，foranunnecessarydigressionconcerningsome
　　peoplebeingobligedtodisclosethegreatestsecretseitherof
　　theirownorotherpeople’saffairs。
　　Underthecertainoppressionofthisweightuponmymind，I
　　labouredinthecaseIhavebeennaming；andtheonlyrelief
　　IfoundforitwastoletmyhusbandintosomuchofitasI
　　thoughtwouldconvincehimofthenecessitytherewasforus
　　tothinkofsettlinginsomeotherpartoftheworld；andthe
　　nextconsiderationbeforeuswas，whichpartoftheEnglish
　　settlementsweshouldgoto。
　　Myhusbandwasaperfectstranger
　　tothecountry，andhadnotyetsomuchasageographical
　　knowledgeofthesituationoftheseveralplaces；andI，that，
　　tillIwrotethis，didnotknowwhatthewordgeographical
　　signified，hadonlyageneralknowledgefromlongconversation
　　withpeoplethatcamefromorwenttoseveralplaces；butthis
　　Iknew，thatMaryland，Pennsylvania，EastandWestJersey，
　　NewYork，andNewEnglandlayallnorthofVirginia，and
　　thattheywereconsequentlyallcolderclimates，towhichfor
　　thatveryreason，Ihadanaversion。
　　ForthatasInaturally
　　lovedwarmweather，sonowIgrewintoyearsIhadastronger
　　inclinationtoshunacoldclimate。
　　Ithereforeconsideredof
　　goingtoCaroline，whichistheonlysoutherncolonyofthe
　　EnglishonthecontinentofAmerica，andhitherIproposedto
　　go；andtheratherbecauseImightwithgreateasecomefrom
　　thenceatanytime，whenitmightbepropertoinquireafter
　　mymother’seffects，andtomakemyselfknownenoughto
　　demandthem。
　　WiththisresolutionIproposedtomyhusbandourgoingaway
　　fromwherewewas，andcarryingalloureffectswithusto
　　Caroline，whereweresolvedtosettle；formyhusbandreadily
　　agreedtothefirstpart，viz。thatwasnotatallpropertostay
　　wherewewas，sinceIhadassuredhimweshouldbeknown
　　there，andtherestIeffectuallyconcealedfromhim。
　　ButnowIfoundanewdifficultyuponme。
　　Themainaffair
　　grewheavyuponmymindstill，andIcouldnotthinkofgoing
　　outofthecountrywithoutsomehoworothermakinginquiry
　　intothegrandaffairofwhatmymotherhadoneforme；nor
　　couldIwithanypatiencebearthethoughtofgoingaway，and
　　notmakemyselfknowntomyoldhusbandbrother，ortomy
　　child，hisson；onlyIwouldfainhavehadthisdonewithout
　　mynewhusbandhavinganyknowledgeofit，ortheyhaving
　　anyknowledgeofhim，orthatIhadsuchathingasahusband。
　　Icastaboutinnumerablewaysinmythoughtshowthismight
　　bedone。
　　Iwouldgladlyhavesentmyhusbandawayto
　　Carolinewithallourgoods，andhavecomeaftermyself，but
　　thiswasimpracticable；hewouldneverstirwithoutme，being
　　himselfperfectlyunacquaintedwiththecountry，andwiththe
　　methodsofsettlingthereoranywhereelse。
　　ThenIthought
　　wewouldbothgofirstwithpartofourgoods，andthatwhen
　　weweresettledIshouldcomebacktoVirginiaandfetchthe
　　remainder；buteventhenIknewhewouldneverpartwithme，
　　andbelefttheretogoonalone。
　　Thecasewasplain；hewas
　　breadagentleman，andbyconsequencewasnotonly
　　unacquainted，butindolent，andwhenwedidsettle，would
　　muchrathergooutintothewoodswithhisgun，whichthey
　　calltherehunting，andwhichistheordinaryworkofthe
　　Indians，andwhichtheydoasservants；Isay，hewouldrather
　　dothatthanattendthenaturalbusinessofhisplantation。
　　Thesewerethereforedifficultiesinsurmountable，andsuchas
　　Iknewnotwhattodoin。
　　Ihadsuchstrongimpressionson