Kalinin’ssmallfacehadbecomepainfullycontracted,andgrownoldandhaggard-looking。Rollingoverontohisbreastbeforethelanguishingfire,hewavedahandtodissipatethesmokewhichwaslazilydriftingslant-wise。
“ForseventeendaysdidIremainstretchedonasick-bed,andwasattendedbythedoctorinperson。Oneday,whensittingbymyside,heinquired:
“’Ipresumeyourintentionwastopoisonyourself,youfoolishfellow?’
“Yes,merelyTHATwaswhathecalledme——a’foolishfellow。’Yetindeed,whatwasItohim?Onlyanentitywhichmightbecomefoodfordogs,forallhecared。NordidValentinaIgnatievnaherselfpaymeasinglevisit,andmyeyesneveragainbeheldher。BeforelongsheandDr。Kliachkaweredulymarried,anddepartedtoKharkov,wherehewasassignedapostintheTchuguerskiCamp。
ThusonlytheGeneralremained。Roughandready,hewas,nevertheless,oldandsensible,andforthatreason,didnotmatter;whereforeIretainedmysituationasbefore。Onmyrecovery,hesentforme,andsaidinatoneofreproof:
“’Lookhere。Youarenotwhollyanidiot。Whathashappenedisthatthosevilebooksofyourshavecorruptedyourmind’asamatteroffact,Ihadneverreadabookinmylife,sinceforreadingIhavenoloveorinclination。’Henceyoumusthaveseenforyourselfthatonlyintalesdoclownsmarryprincesses。Youknow,lifeislikeagameofchess。Everypiecehasitspropermoveontheboard,orthegamecouldnotbeplayedatall。’“
Kalininrubbedhishandsoverthefireslender,non-workmanlikehandstheywere,andwinkedandsmiled。
“ItooktheGeneral’swordsveryseriously,andproceededtoaskmyself:’Towhatdothosewordsamount?Tothis:thatthoughI
maynotcareactuallytotakepartinthegame,Ineednotwastemywholeexistencethroughadisinclinationtolearnthebestusetowhichthatexistencecanbeput。’
Withatriumphantupliftoftone,Kalinincontinued:
“So,brother,IsetmyselftoWATCHthegameinquestion;withtheresultthatsoonIdiscoveredthatthemajorityofmenlivesurroundedwithahostofsuperfluouscommoditieswhichdobutburdenthem,andhaveinthemselvesnorealvalue。WhatIrefertoisbooks,pictures,china,andrubbishofthesamesort。
ThoughtItomyself:’WhyshouldIdevotemylifetotendinganddustingsuchcommoditieswhilerisking,allthetime,theirbreakage?Nomoreofitforme!Wasitforthetendingofsucharticlesthatmymotherboremeamidtheagoniesofchildbirth?
IsitanexistenceofTHISkindthatmustbepasseduntilthetombbereached?No,no——athousandtimesno!RatherwillI,withyourgoodleave,rejectaltogetherthegameoflife,andsubsistasmaybebestforme,andasmayhappentobemypleasure。’“
Now,asKalininspoke,hiseyesemittedgreensparks,andashewavedhishandsoverthefire,asthoughtolopofftheredtonguesofflame,hisfingerstwistedconvulsively。
“Ofcourse,notallatastrokedidIarriveatthisconclusion;
Ididsobutgradually。ThepersonwhofinallyconfirmedmeinmyopinionwasafriarofBaku,asageofpre-eminentwisdom,throughhissayingtome:’Withnothingatalloughtamantofetterhissoul。Neitherwithbond-service,norwithproperty,norwithwomankind,norwithanyotherconcessiontothetemptationsofthisworldoughthetoconstrainitsaction。
Ratheroughthetolivealone,andtolovenonebutChrist。Onlythisistrue。Onlythiswillbeforeverlasting。’
“And,“addedKalininwithanimationandinflatedcheeksandflushed,suppressedenthusiasm,“manylandsandmanypeopleshaveIseen,andalwayshaveIfoundparticularlyinRussia
thatmanyfolkalreadyhavereachedanunderstandingofthemselves,and,consequently,refusedanylongertorenderobeisancetoabsurdities。’Shunevil,andyouwillevolvegood。’
Thatiswhatthefriarsaidtomeasapartingword——thoughlongbeforeourencounterhadIgraspedthemeaningoftheaxiom。AndthataxiomImyselfhavesincepassedontootherfolk,asIhopetodoyetmanytimesinthefuture。“
Atthispointthespeaker’stonerevertedtooneofquerulousanxiety。
“Lookhowlowthesunhassunk!“heexclaimed。
Trueenough,thatluminary,largeandround,wasdeclininginto——
rather,towards——thesea,whilesuspendedbetweenhimandthewaterwerelow,dark,white-toppedcumuli。
“Soonnightfallwillbeovertakingus,“continuedKalininashefumbledinhiskaftan。“Andinthesepartsjackalshowlwhendarknessiscome。“
InparticulardidInoticethreecloudsthatlookedlikeTurksinwhiteturbansandrobesofaduskyredcolour。AndasthesecloudTurksbenttheirheadstogetherinprivateconverse,suddenlythereswelleduponthebackofoneofthefiguresahump,whileontheturbanofasecondtheresproutedforthapalepinkfeatherwhich,becomingdetachedfromitsbase,wentfloatingupwardstowardsthezenithandthenowrayless,despondent,moonlikesun。LastlythethirdTurkstoopedforwardovertheseatoscreenhiscompanions,andashedidso,developedahugerednosewhichcomicallyseemedtodiptowards,andsniffat,thewaters。
“Sometimes,“continuedKalinin’sevenvoicethroughthecracklingandhissingofthewoodfire,“amanwhoisoldandblindmaycobbleashoebetterthancleverermenthanhe,canordertheirwholelives。“
ButnolongerdidIdesiretolistentoKalinin,forthethreadswhichhaddrawnme,boundme,tohispersonalityhadnowparted。
AllthatIdesiredtodowastocontemplateinsilencethesea,whilethinkingofsomeofthosesubjectswhichateventideneverfailtostirthesoultogentle,kindlyemotion。Bombers,Kalinin’swordscontinueddrippingintomyearlikebelatedraindrops。
“Nowadayseverybodyisabusybody。Nowadayseveryoneinquiresofhisfellow-man,’Howisyourlifeordered?’Towhichalwaysthereisaddeddidactically,’Butyououghtnottoliveasyouaredoing。Letmeshowyoutheway。’Asthoughanyonecantellmehowbestmylifemayattainfulldevelopment,seeingthatnoonecanpossiblyhavesuchamatterwithinhisknowledge!Nay,leteverymanliveasbesthepleases,withoutcompulsion。Forinstance,Ihavenoneedofyou。Inreturn,itisnotyourbusinesseithertorequireortoexpectaughtofme。AndthisI
saythoughFatherVitalisaysthecontrary,andaversthatthroughoutshouldmanwarwiththeevilsoftheworld。“
Inthevague,widefirmamentablood-redclusterofcloudswashanging,andasIcontemplateditthereoccurredtomethethought,“Maynotthosecloudsbeerstwhilerighteousworld-folkwhoarefollowinganunseenpathacrossthatexpanse,anddyeingitredwiththeirgoodbloodastheygo,inorderthattheearthmaybefertilised?“
Torightandleftofthatstripoflivingflametheseawasofacuriouswinetint,whilefurtheroff,rather,itwasassoftandblackasvelvet,andintheremoteeastsheet-lightningwasflashingevenasthoughsomegianthandwerefruitlesslyendeavouringtostrikeamatchagainstthesoddenfirmament。
MeanwhileKalinincontinuedtodiscoursewithenthusiasmonthesubjectofFatherVitali,theLabourSuperintendentofthemonasteryofNewAthos,whiledescribingindetailthemonk’sjovial,cleverfeatureswiththeirpearlyteethandcontrastingblackandsilverbeard。InparticularherelatedhowonceVitalihadknittedhisfine,almostwomanlikeeyes,andsaidinabasswhichstressedits“o’s“:
“Onourfirstarrivalhere,wefoundinpossessiononlyprehistoricchaosanddemoniacalinfluence。Everywherehadclingingweedsgrowntorankness;everywhereonefoundone’sfeetentangledamongbindweedandothervegetationofthesort。Andnowseewhatbeautyandjoyandcomfortthehandofmanhaswrought!“
And,havingthusspoken,themonkhadtracedagreatcirclewithhiseyeanddoughtyhand,acirclewhichhadembracedasinaframethemount,andthegardensfashionedanddevelopedbyridgingsoftherock,andthedownysoilwhichhadbeenbeatenintothoseridgings,andthesilverstreakofwaterfallplayingalmostatVitali’sfeet,andthestone-hewnstaircaseleadingtothecaveofSimeontheCanaanite,andthegildedcupolasofthenewchurchwheretheyhadstoodflashinginthenoontidesun,andthesnow-white,shimmeringblocksoftheguesthouseandtheservants’quarters,andtheglitteringfishponds,andthetreesofuniformtrimness,yetauniformlyregaldignity。
“Brethren,“themonkhadsaidintriumphantconclusion,“wheresoevermanmaybe,hewill,ashesodesires,begivenpowertoovercomethedesolationofthewilds。“
“AndthenIpressedhimfurther,“Kalininadded。“Yes,Isaidtohim:’NeverthelessChrist,ourLord,wasnotlikeyou,forHewashomelessandawanderer。Hewasonewhoutterlyrejectedyourlifeofintensivecultivationofthesoil’“asherelatedtheincidentKaliningavehisheadsundryjerksfromsidetosidewhichmadehisearsflap,toandfro。“’AlsoneitherforthelowlyalonenorfortheexaltedalonedidChristexist。Rather,He,likeallgreatbenefactors,wasonewhohadnoparticularleaning。Nay,evenwhenHewasroamingtheRussianLandincompanywithSaintsYuriandNikolai,HealwaysforboretointrudeHimselfintothevillages’affairs,justas,wheneverHiscompanionsengagedindisputesconcerningmankind,Heneverfailedtomaintainsilenceonthesubject。’Yes,thusIplaguedVitaliuntilheshoutedatmyhead,’Ah,impudence,youareaheretic!’“
Bythistime,theairundertheleeofthestonewasgrowingsmokyandoppressive,forthefire,withitsflameslookinglikeabouquetcompoundedofredpoppiesorazaleasandbloomsofanaureatetint,hadbegunfairlytoliveitsbeautifulexistence,andwasblazing,anddiffusingwarmth,andlaughingitsbright,cheerful,intelligentlaugh。Yetfromthemountainsandthecloud-masseseveningwasdescending,astheearthemittedprofoundgaspsofhumidity,andtheseaintoneditsvague,thoughtful,resonantsong。