Therehadbeensomethingremarkablyamiableabouther。
  FannyinthoseearlydayshadpreferredhertoSusan;
  andwhenthenewsofherdeathhadatlastreachedMansfield,hadforashorttimebeenquiteafflicted。ThesightofBetseybroughttheimageoflittleMarybackagain,butshewouldnothavepainedhermotherbyalludingtoherfortheworld。Whileconsideringherwiththeseideas,Betsey,atasmalldistance,washoldingoutsomethingtocatchhereyes,meaningtoscreenitatthesametimefromSusan’s。
  “Whathaveyougotthere,mylove?“saidFanny;
  “comeandshewittome。“
  Itwasasilverknife。UpjumpedSusan,claimingitasherown,andtryingtogetitaway;butthechildrantohermother’sprotection,andSusancouldonlyreproach,whichshedidverywarmly,andevidentlyhopingtointerestFannyonherside。“Itwasveryhardthatshewasnottohaveher_own_knife;itwasherownknife;
  littlesisterMaryhadleftittoheruponherdeathbed,andsheoughttohavehadittokeepherselflongago。
  Butmamakeptitfromher,andwasalwayslettingBetseygetholdofit;andtheendofitwouldbethatBetseywouldspoilit,andgetitforherown,thoughmamahad_promised_herthatBetseyshouldnothaveitinherownhands。“
  Fannywasquiteshocked。Everyfeelingofduty,honour,andtendernesswaswoundedbyhersister’sspeechandhermother’sreply。
  “Now,Susan,“criedMrs。Price,inacomplainingvoice,“now,howcanyoubesocross?Youarealwaysquarrellingaboutthatknife。Iwishyouwouldnotbesoquarrelsome。
  PoorlittleBetsey;howcrossSusanistoyou!Butyoushouldnothavetakenitout,mydear,whenIsentyoutothedrawer。YouknowItoldyounottotouchit,becauseSusanissocrossaboutit。Imusthideitanothertime,Betsey。PoorMarylittlethoughtitwouldbesuchaboneofcontentionwhenshegaveitmetokeep,onlytwohoursbeforeshedied。Poorlittlesoul!shecouldbutjustspeaktobeheard,andshesaidsoprettily,“LetsisterSusanhavemyknife,mama,whenIamdeadandburied。“
  Poorlittledear!shewassofondofit,Fanny,thatshewouldhaveitlaybyherinbed,allthroughherillness。
  Itwasthegiftofhergoodgodmother,oldMrs。AdmiralMaxwell,onlysixweeksbeforeshewastakenfordeath。
  Poorlittlesweetcreature!Well,shewastakenawayfromeviltocome。MyownBetsey“fondlingher,“_you_havenottheluckofsuchagoodgodmother。
  AuntNorrislivestoofarofftothinkofsuchlittlepeopleasyou。“
  FannyhadindeednothingtoconveyfromauntNorris,butamessagetosayshehopedthathergod-daughterwasagoodgirl,andlearntherbook。Therehadbeenatonemomentaslightmurmurinthedrawing-roomatMansfieldParkaboutsendingheraprayer-book;
  butnosecondsoundhadbeenheardofsuchapurpose。
  Mrs。Norris,however,hadgonehomeandtakendowntwooldprayer-booksofherhusbandwiththatidea;but,uponexamination,theardourofgenerositywentoff。
  Onewasfoundtohavetoosmallaprintforachild’seyes,andtheothertobetoocumbersomeforhertocarryabout。
  Fanny,fatiguedandfatiguedagain,wasthankfultoacceptthefirstinvitationofgoingtobed;andbeforeBetseyhadfinishedhercryatbeingallowedtosituponlyonehourextraordinaryinhonourofsister,shewasoff,leavingallbelowinconfusionandnoiseagain;theboysbeggingfortoastedcheese,herfathercallingoutforhisrumandwater,andRebeccaneverwheresheoughttobe。
  TherewasnothingtoraiseherspiritsintheconfinedandscantilyfurnishedchamberthatshewastosharewithSusan。Thesmallnessoftheroomsaboveandbelow,indeed,andthenarrownessofthepassageandstaircase,struckherbeyondherimagination。ShesoonlearnedtothinkwithrespectofherownlittleatticatMansfieldPark,inthathousereckonedtoosmallforanybody’scomfort。
  Chapter39CHAPTERXXXIX
  CouldSirThomashaveseenallhisniece’sfeelings,whenshewroteherfirstlettertoheraunt,hewouldnothavedespaired;forthoughagoodnight’srest,apleasantmorning,thehopeofsoonseeingWilliamagain,andthecomparativelyquietstateofthehouse,fromTomandCharlesbeinggonetoschool,Samonsomeprojectofhisown,andherfatheronhisusuallounges,enabledhertoexpressherselfcheerfullyonthesubjectofhome,therewerestill,toherownperfectconsciousness,manydrawbackssuppressed。Couldhehaveseenonlyhalfthatshefeltbeforetheendofaweek,hewouldhavethoughtMr。Crawfordsureofher,andbeendelightedwithhisownsagacity。
  Beforetheweekended,itwasalldisappointment。
  Inthefirstplace,Williamwasgone。TheThrushhadhadherorders,thewindhadchanged,andhewassailedwithinfourdaysfromtheirreachingPortsmouth;
  andduringthosedaysshehadseenhimonlytwice,inashortandhurriedway,whenhehadcomeashoreonduty。Therehadbeennofreeconversation,nowalkontheramparts,novisittothedockyard,noacquaintancewiththeThrush,nothingofallthattheyhadplannedanddependedon。Everythinginthatquarterfailedher,exceptWilliam’saffection。Hislastthoughtonleavinghomewasforher。Hesteppedbackagaintothedoortosay,“TakecareofFanny,mother。Sheistender,andnotusedtoroughitliketherestofus。Ichargeyou,takecareofFanny。“
  Williamwasgone:andthehomehehadleftherinwas,Fannycouldnotconcealitfromherself,inalmosteveryrespecttheveryreverseofwhatshecouldhavewished。
  Itwastheabodeofnoise,disorder,andimpropriety。
  Nobodywasintheirrightplace,nothingwasdoneasitoughttobe。Shecouldnotrespectherparentsasshehadhoped。
  Onherfather,herconfidencehadnotbeensanguine,buthewasmorenegligentofhisfamily,hishabitswereworse,andhismannerscoarser,thanshehadbeenpreparedfor。
  Hedidnotwantabilitiesbuthehadnocuriosity,andnoinformationbeyondhisprofession;hereadonlythenewspaperandthenavy-list;hetalkedonlyofthedockyard,theharbour,Spithead,andtheMotherbank;
  hesworeandhedrank,hewasdirtyandgross。
  Shehadneverbeenabletorecallanythingapproachingtotendernessinhisformertreatmentofherself。
  Therehadremainedonlyageneralimpressionofroughnessandloudness;andnowhescarcelyevernoticedher,buttomakehertheobjectofacoarsejoke。
  Herdisappointmentinhermotherwasgreater:
  _there_shehadhopedmuch,andfoundalmostnothing。
  Everyflatteringschemeofbeingofconsequencetohersoonfelltotheground。Mrs。Pricewasnotunkind;
  but,insteadofgainingonheraffectionandconfidence,andbecomingmoreandmoredear,herdaughternevermetwithgreaterkindnessfromherthanonthefirstdayofherarrival。Theinstinctofnaturewassoonsatisfied,andMrs。Price’sattachmenthadnoothersource。
  Herheartandhertimewerealreadyquitefull;
  shehadneitherleisurenoraffectiontobestowonFanny。
  Herdaughtersneverhadbeenmuchtoher。Shewasfondofhersons,especiallyofWilliam,butBetseywasthefirstofhergirlswhomshehadevermuchregarded。Tohershewasmostinjudiciouslyindulgent。Williamwasherpride;
  Betseyherdarling;andJohn,Richard,Sam,Tom,andCharlesoccupiedalltherestofhermaternalsolicitude,alternatelyherworriesandhercomforts。Thesesharedherheart:
  hertimewasgivenchieflytoherhouseandherservants。
  Herdayswerespentinakindofslowbustle;allwasbusywithoutgettingon,alwaysbehindhandandlamentingit,withoutalteringherways;wishingtobeaneconomist,withoutcontrivanceorregularity;dissatisfiedwithherservants,withoutskilltomakethembetter,andwhetherhelping,orreprimanding,orindulgingthem,withoutanypowerofengagingtheirrespect。
  Ofhertwosisters,Mrs。PriceverymuchmoreresembledLadyBertramthanMrs。Norris。Shewasamanagerbynecessity,withoutanyofMrs。Norris’sinclinationforit,oranyofheractivity。Herdispositionwasnaturallyeasyandindolent,likeLadyBertram’s;andasituationofsimilaraffluenceanddo-nothingnesswouldhavebeenmuchmoresuitedtohercapacitythantheexertionsandself-denialsoftheonewhichherimprudentmarriagehadplacedherin。
  ShemighthavemadejustasgoodawomanofconsequenceasLadyBertram,butMrs。Norriswouldhavebeenamorerespectablemotherofninechildrenonasmallincome。
  MuchofallthisFannycouldnotbutbesensibleof。
  Shemightscrupletomakeuseofthewords,butshemustanddidfeelthathermotherwasapartial,ill-judgingparent,adawdle,aslattern,whoneithertaughtnorrestrainedherchildren,whosehousewasthesceneofmismanagementanddiscomfortfrombeginningtoend,andwhohadnotalent,noconversation,noaffectiontowardsherself;nocuriositytoknowherbetter,nodesireofherfriendship,andnoinclinationforhercompanythatcouldlessenhersenseofsuchfeelings。
  Fannywasveryanxioustobeuseful,andnottoappearaboveherhome,orinanywaydisqualifiedordisinclined,byherforeigneducation,fromcontributingherhelptoitscomforts,andthereforesetaboutworkingforSamimmediately;
  andbyworkingearlyandlate,withperseveranceandgreatdespatch,didsomuchthattheboywasshippedoffatlast,withmorethanhalfhislinenready。
  Shehadgreatpleasureinfeelingherusefulness,butcouldnotconceivehowtheywouldhavemanagedwithouther。