wouldnotargueanyfarther;butIwasconfidentthatIwasintheright。Iwould,induetime,beaNestor,anelderofthepeople;
andthereSHOULDbesomedifferencebetweentheconversationoftwenty-eightandsixty-eight。Agravepictureshouldnotbegay。
Thereisaserene,solemn,placidoldage。JOHNSON。’Mrs。
Thrale’smothersaidofmewhatflatteredmemuch。Aclergymanwascomplainingofwantofsocietyinthecountrywherehelived;andsaid,“TheytalkofRUNTS;“thatis,youngcows。“Sir,saidMrs。Salusbury,Mr。Johnsonwouldlearntotalkofrunts:“meaningthatIwasamanwhowouldmakethemostofmysituation,whateveritwas。’Headded,’Ithinkmyselfaverypoliteman。’
OnSaturday,May2,IdinedwithhimatSirJoshuaReynolds’s,wheretherewasaverylargecompany,andagreatdealofconversation;butowingtosomecircumstancewhichIcannotnowrecollect,Ihavenorecordofanypartofit,exceptthattherewereseveralpeopletherebynomeansoftheJohnsonianschool;sothatlessattentionwaspaidtohimthanusual,whichputhimoutofhumour;anduponsomeimaginaryoffencefromme,heattackedmewithsuchrudeness,thatIwasvexedandangry,becauseitgavethosepersonsanopportunityofenlarginguponhissupposedferocity,andilltreatmentofhisbestfriends。Iwassomuchhurt,andhadmypridesomuchroused,thatIkeptawayfromhimforaweek;and,perhaps,mighthavekeptawaymuchlonger,nay,gonetoScotlandwithoutseeinghimagain,hadnotwefortunatelymetandbeenreconciled。Tosuchunhappychancesarehumanfriendshipsliable。
OnFriday,May8,IdinedwithhimatMr。Langton’s。Iwasreservedandsilent,whichIsupposeheperceived,andmightrecollectthecause。AfterdinnerwhenMr。Langtonwascalledoutoftheroom,andwewerebyourselves,hedrewhischairneartomine,andsaid,inatoneofconciliatingcourtesy,’Well,howhaveyoudone?’Boswell。’Sir,youhavemademeveryuneasybyyourbehaviourtomewhenwewerelastatSirJoshuaReynolds’s。Youknow,mydearSir,nomanhasagreaterrespectandaffectionforyou,orwouldsoonergototheendoftheworldtoserveyou。Nowtotreatmeso。’HeinsistedthatIhadinterruptedhim,whichI
assuredhimwasnotthecase;andproceeded——’Butwhytreatmesobeforepeoplewhoneitherloveyounorme?’JOHNSON。’Well,Iamsorryforit。I’llmakeituptoyoutwentydifferentways,asyouplease。’BOSWELL。’Isaidto-daytoSirJoshua,whenheobservedthatyouTOSSEDmesometimes——Idon’tcarehowoften,orhowhighhetossesme,whenonlyfriendsarepresent,forthenIfalluponsoftground:butIdonotlikefallingonstones,whichisthecasewhenenemiesarepresent——Ithinkthisaprettygoodimage,Sir。’
JOHNSON。’Sir,itisoneofthehappiestIhaveeverheard。’
Thetruthis,therewasnovenominthewoundswhichheinflictedatanytime,unlesstheywereirritatedbysomemalignantinfusionbyotherhands。Wewereinstantlyascordialagainasever,andjoinedinheartylaughatsomeludicrousbutinnocentpeculiaritiesofoneofourfriends。BOSWELL。’Doyouthink,Sir,itisalwaysculpabletolaughatamantohisface?’JOHNSON。’Why,Sir,thatdependsuponthemanandthething。Ifitisaslightman,andaslightthing,youmay;foryoutakenothingvaluablefromhim。’
WhenMr。Langtonreturnedtous,the’flowoftalk’wenton。Aneminentauthourbeingmentioned;——JOHNSON。’Heisnotapleasantman。Hisconversationisneitherinstructivenorbrilliant。Hedoesnottalkasifimpelledbyanyfulnessofknowledgeorvivacityofimagination。Hisconversationislikethatofanyothersensibleman。Hetalkswithnowisheithertoinformortohear,butonlybecausehethinksitdoesnotbecome
tositinacompanyandsaynothing。’
Mr。LangtonhavingrepeatedtheanecdoteofAddisonhavingdistinguishedbetweenhispowersinconversationandinwriting,bysaying’Ihaveonlynine-penceinmypocket;butIcandrawforathousandpounds;’——JOHNSON。’Hehadnotthatretortready,Sir;hehadprepareditbefore-hand。’LANGTON。turningtome,’Afinesurmise。Setathieftocatchathief。’
JOHNSON。’Ishallbeathometo-morrow。’BOSWELL。’ThenletusdinebyourselvesattheMitre,tokeepuptheoldcustom,“thecustomofthemanor,“thecustomofthemitre。’JOHNSON。’Sir,soitshallbe。’
OnSaturday,May9,wefulfilledourpurposeofdiningbyourselvesattheMitre,accordingtooldcustom。Therewas,ontheseoccasions,alittlecircumstanceofkindattentiontoMrs。
Williams,whichmustnotbeomitted。Beforecomingout,andleavinghertodinealone,hegaveherherchoiceofachicken,asweetbread,oranyotherlittlenicething,whichwascarefullysenttoherfromthetavern,ready-drest。
OnTuesday,May12,IwaitedontheEarlofMarchmont,toknowifhisLordshipwouldfavourDr。JohnsonwithinformationconcerningPope,whoseLifehewasabouttowrite。Johnsonhadnotflatteredhimselfwiththehopesofreceivinganycivilityfromthisnobleman;forhesaidtome,whenImentionedLordMarchmontasonewhocouldtellhimagreatdealaboutPope,——’Sir,hewilltellME
nothing。’IhadthehonourofbeingknowntohisLordship,andappliedtohimofmyself,withoutbeingcommissionedbyJohnson。
HisLordshipbehavedinthemostpoliteandobligingmanner,promisedtotellallherecollectedaboutPope,andwassoverycourteousastosay,’TellDr。JohnsonIhaveagreatrespectforhim,andamreadytoshewitinanywayIcan。Iamtobeinthecityto-morrow,andwillcallathishouseasIreturn。’HisLordshiphoweverasked,’WillhewritetheLivesofthePoetsimpartially?HewasthefirstthatbroughtWhigandToryintoaDictionary。AndwhatdoyouthinkofhisdefinitionofExcise?Doyouknowthehistoryofhisaversiontothewordtranspire?’ThentakingdownthefolioDictionary,hesheweditwiththiscensureonitssecondarysense:’“Toescapefromsecrecytonotice;asenselatelyinnovatedfromFrance,withoutnecessity。“ThetruthwasLordBolingbroke,wholefttheJacobites,firstusedit;therefore,itwastobecondemned。Heshouldhaveshewnwhatwordwoulddoforit,ifitwasunnecessary。’IafterwardsputthequestiontoJohnson:’Why,Sir,saidhe,GETABROAD。’BOSWELL。’That,Sir,isusingtwowords。’JOHNSON。’Sir,thereisnoendofthis。Youmayaswellinsisttohaveawordforoldage。’BOSWELL。’Well,Sir,Senectus。’JOHNSON。’Nay,Sir,toinsistalwaysthatthereshouldbeonewordtoexpressathinginEnglish,becausethereisoneinanotherlanguage,istochangethelanguage。’
IproposedtoLordMarchmontthatheshouldreviseJohnson’sLifeofPope:’SosaidhisLordship,youwouldputmeinadangeroussituation。YouknowheknockeddownOsbornethebookseller。’
ElatedwiththesuccessofmyspontaneousexertiontoprocurematerialandrespectableaidtoJohnsonforhisveryfavouritework,TheLivesofthePoets,IhasteneddowntoMr。Thrale’satStreatham,wherehenowwas,thatImightinsurehisbeingathomenextday;andafterdinner,whenIthoughthewouldreceivethegoodnewsinthebesthumour,Iannouncediteagerly:’Ihavebeenatworkforyouto-day,Sir。IhavebeenwithLordMarchmont。Hebademetellyouhehasagreatrespectforyou,andwillcallonyouto-morrowatoneo’clock,andcommunicateallheknowsaboutPope。’——HereIpaused,infullexpectationthathewouldbepleasedwiththisintelligence,wouldpraisemyactivemerit,andwouldbealerttoembracesuchanofferfromanobleman。ButwhetherIhadshewnanover-exultation,whichprovokedhisspleen;orwhetherhewasseizedwithasuspicionthatIhadobtrudedhimonLordMarchmont,andhumbledhimtoomuch;orwhethertherewasanythingmorethananunluckyfitofill-humour,Iknownot;but,tomysurprize,theresultwas,——JOHNSON。’Ishallnotbeintownto-
morrow。Idon’tcaretoknowaboutPope。’MRS。THRALE。
surprizedasIwas,andalittleangry,’Isuppose,Sir,Mr。
Boswellthought,thatasyouaretowritePope’sLife,youwouldwishtoknowabouthim。’JOHNSON。’Wish!whyyes。IfitrainedknowledgeI’dholdoutmyhand;butIwouldnotgivemyselfthetroubletogoinquestofit。’Therewasnoarguingwithhimatthemoment。Sometimeafterwardshesaid,’LordMarchmontwillcallonme,andthenIshallcallonLordMarchmont。’Mr。Thralewasuneasyathisunaccountablecaprice;andtoldme,thatifIdidnottakecaretobringaboutameetingbetweenLordMarchmontandhim,itwouldnevertakeplace,whichwouldbeagreatpity。I
sentacardtohisLordship,tobeleftatJohnson’shouse,acquaintinghim,thatDr。Johnsoncouldnotbeintownnextday,butwoulddohimselfthehonourofwaitingonhimatanothertime。
Igivethisaccountfairly,asaspecimenofthatunhappytemperwithwhichthisgreatandgoodmanhadoccasionallytostruggle,fromsomethingmorbidinhisconstitution。Letthemostcensoriousofmyreaderssupposehimselftohaveaviolentfitofthetooth-
ach,ortohavereceivedaseverestrokeontheshin-bone,andwheninsuchastatetobeaskedaquestion;andifhehasanycandour,hewillnotbesurprizedattheanswerswhichJohnsonsometimesgaveinmomentsofirritation,which,letmeassurethem,isexquisitelypainful。Butitmustnotbeerroneouslysupposedthathewas,inthesmallestdegree,carelessconcerninganyworkwhichheundertook,orthathewasgenerallythuspeevish。Itwillbeseen,thatinthefollowingyearhehadaveryagreeableinterviewwithLordMarchmont,athisLordship’shouse;andthisveryafternoonhesoonforgotanyfretfulness,andfellintoconversationasusual。
JOHNSON。’HowfoolishwasitinPopetogiveallhisfriendshiptoLords,whothoughttheyhonouredhimbybeingwithhim;andtochoosesuchLordsasBurlington,andCobham,andBolingbroke!
Bathurstwasnegative,apleasingman;andIhaveheardnoillofMarchmont;andthenalwayssaying,“IdonotvalueyouforbeingaLord;“whichwasasureproofthathedid。Ineversay,IdonotvalueBoswellmoreforbeingborntoanestate,becauseIdonotcare。’BOSWELL。’NorforbeingaScotchman?’JOHNSON。’Nay,Sir,IdovalueyoumoreforbeingaScotchman。YouareaScotchmanwithoutthefaultsofaScotchman。Youwouldnothavebeensovaluableasyouare,hadyounotbeenaScotchman。’
Amongstthenumerousprintspastedonthewallsofthedining-roomatStreatham,wasHogarth’s’ModernMidnightConversation。’I
askedhimwhatheknewofParsonFord,whomakesaconspicuousfigureintheriotousgroup。JOHNSON。’Sir,hewasmyacquaintanceandrelation,mymother’snephew。Hehadpurchasedalivinginthecountry,butnotsimoniacally。Ineversawhimbutinthecountry。Ihavebeentoldhewasamanofgreatparts;veryprofligate,butIneverheardhewasimpious。’BOSWELL。’Wastherenotastoryofhisghosthavingappeared?’JOHNSON。’Sir,itwasbelieved。AwaiterattheHummums,inwhichhouseForddied,hadbeenabsentforsometime,andreturned,notknowingthatFordwasdead。Goingdowntothecellar,accordingtothestory,hemethim;goingdownagainhemethimasecondtime。Whenhecameup,heaskedsomeofthepeopleofthehousewhatFordcouldbedoingthere。TheytoldhimFordwasdead。Thewaitertookafever,inwhichhelayforsometime。Whenherecovered,hesaidhehadamessagetodelivertosomewomenfromFord;buthewasnottotellwhat,ortowhom。Hewalkedout;hewasfollowed;butsomewhereaboutSt。Paul’stheylosthim。Hecameback,andsaidhehaddeliveredthemessage,andthewomenexclaimed,“Thenweareallundone!“Dr。Pellet,whowasnotacredulousman,inquiredintothetruthofthisstory,andhesaid,theevidencewasirresistible。MywifewenttotheHummums;itisaplacewherepeoplegetthemselvescupped。IbelieveshewentwithintentiontohearaboutthisstoryofFord。Atfirsttheywereunwillingtotellher;but,aftertheyhadtalkedtoher,shecameawaysatisfiedthatitwastrue。Tobesurethemanhadafever;andthisvisionmayhavebeenthebeginningofit。Butifthemessagetothewomen,andtheirbehaviouruponit,weretrueasrelated,therewassomethingsupernatural。Thatrestsuponhisword;andthereitremains。’