’Becausethehouseisfullofmysteriesandsecrets;becauseit’sfullofwhisperingsandcounsellings;becauseit’sfullofnoises。
  Thereneverwassuchahousefornoises。Ishalldieof’em,ifJeremiahdon’tstranglemefirst。AsIexpecthewill。’
  ’Ihaveneverheardanynoiseshere,worthspeakingof。’
  ’Ah!Butyouwould,though,ifyoulivedinthehouse,andwasobligedtogoaboutitasIam,’saidAffery;’andyou’dfeelthattheywassowellworthspeakingof,thatyou’dfeelyouwasnighburstingthroughnotbeingallowedtospeakof’em。Here’sJeremiah!You’llgetmekilled。’
  ’MygoodAffery,IsolemnlydeclaretoyouthatIcanseethelightoftheopendooronthepavementofthehall,andsocouldyouifyouwoulduncoveryourfaceandlook。’
  ’Idurstn’tdoit,’saidAffery,’Idurstn’tnever,Arthur。I’malwaysblind-foldedwhenJeremiahan’talooking,andsometimesevenwhenheis。’
  ’Hecannotshutthedoorwithoutmyseeinghim,’saidArthur。’Youareassafewithmeasifhewasfiftymilesaway。’
  ’Iwishhewas!’criedAffery。
  ’Affery,Iwanttoknowwhatisamisshere;Iwantsomelightthrownonthesecretsofthishouse。’
  ’Itellyou,Arthur,’sheinterrupted,’noisesisthesecrets,rustlingsandstealingsabout,tremblings,treadsoverheadandtreadsunderneath。’
  ’Butthosearenotallthesecrets。’
  ’Idon’tknow,’saidAffery。’Don’taskmenomore。Youroldsweetheartan’tfaroff,andshe’sablabber。’
  Hisoldsweetheart,beinginfactsonearathandthatshewasthenrecliningagainsthiminaflutter,averysubstantialangleofforty-fivedegrees,hereinterposedtoassureMistressAfferywithgreaterearnestnessthandirectnessofasseveration,thatwhatsheheardshouldgonofurther,butshouldbekeptinviolate,’ifonnootheraccountonArthur’s——sensibleofintrudinginbeingtoofamiliarDoyceandClennam’s。’
  ’Imakeanimploringappealtoyou,Affery,toyou,oneofthefewagreeableearlyremembrancesIhave,formymother’ssake,foryourhusband’ssake,formyown,foralloursakes。Iamsureyoucantellmesomethingconnectedwiththecominghereofthisman,ifyouwill。’
  ’Why,thenI’lltellyou,Arthur,’returnedAffery——’Jeremiah’scoming!’
  ’No,indeedheisnot。Thedoorisopen,andheisstandingoutside,talking。’
  ’I’lltellyouthen,’saidAffery,afterlistening,’thatthefirsttimeheevercomeheheardthenoiseshisownself。“What’sthat?“
  hesaidtome。“Idon’tknowwhatitis,“Isaystohim,catchingholdofhim,“butIhavehearditoverandoveragain。“WhileI
  saysit,hestandsalookingatme,allofashake,hedo。’
  ’Hashebeenhereoften?’
  ’Onlythatnight,andthelastnight。’
  ’Whatdidyouseeofhimonthelastnight,afterIwasgone?’
  ’Themtwocleveroneshadhimallalonetothemselves。Jeremiahcomeadancingatmesideways,afterIhadletyououthealwayscomesadancingatmesidewayswhenhe’sgoingtohurtme,andhesaidtome,“Now,Affery,“hesaid,“Iamacomingbehindyou,mywoman,andagoingtorunyouup。“Sohetookandsqueezedthebackofmyneckinhishand,tillitmademeopenMYmouth,andthenhepushedmebeforehimtobed,squeezingalltheway。That’swhathecallsrunningmeup,hedo。Oh,he’sawickedone!’
  ’Anddidyouhearorseenomore,Affery?’
  ’Don’tItellyouIwassenttobed,Arthur!Hereheis!’
  ’Iassureyouheisstillatthedoor。Thosewhisperingsandcounsellings,Affery,thatyouhavespokenof。Whatarethey?’
  ’HowshouldIknow?Don’taskmenothingabout’em,Arthur。Getaway!’
  ’ButmydearAffery;unlessIcangainsomeinsightintothesehiddenthings,inspiteofyourhusbandandinspiteofmymother,ruinwillcomeofit。’
  ’Don’taskmenothing,’repeatedAffery。’Ihavebeeninadreamforeversolong。Goaway,goaway!’
  ’Yousaidthatbefore,’returnedArthur。’Youusedthesameexpressionthatnight,atthedoor,whenIaskedyouwhatwasgoingonhere。Whatdoyoumeanbybeinginadream?’
  ’Ian’tagoingtotellyou。Getaway!Ishouldn’ttellyou,ifyouwasbyyourself;muchlesswithyouroldsweethearthere。’
  ItwasequallyvainforArthurtoentreat,andforFloratoprotest。Affery,whohadbeentremblingandstrugglingthewholetime,turnedadeafeartoalladjuration,andwasbentonforcingherselfoutofthecloset。
  ’I’dsoonerscreamtoJeremiahthansayanotherword!I’llcallouttohim,Arthur,ifyoudon’tgiveoverspeakingtome。Nowhere’stheverylastwordI’llsayaforeIcalltohim——Ifeveryoubegintogetthebetterofthemtwocleveronesyourownselfyououghttoit,asItoldyouwhenyoufirstcomehome,foryouhaven’tbeenalivingherelongyears,tobemadeafearedofyourlifeasIhave,thendoyougetthebetterof’emaforemyface;
  andthendoyousaytome,Afferytellyourdreams!Maybe,thenI’lltell’em!’
  TheshuttingofthedoorstoppedArthurfromreplying。TheyglidedintotheplaceswhereJeremiahhadleftthem;andClennam,steppingforwardasthatoldgentlemanreturned,informedhimthathehadaccidentallyextinguishedthecandle。MrFlintwinchlookedonashere-lighteditatthelampinthehall,andpreservedaprofoundtaciturnityrespectingthepersonwhohadbeenholdinghiminconversation。Perhapshisirascibilitydemandedcompensationforsometediousnessthatthevisitorhadexpendedonhim;howeverthatwas,hetooksuchumbrageatseeinghiswifewithherapronoverherhead,thathechargedather,andtakingherveilednosebetweenhisthumbandfinger,appearedtothrowthewholescrew-
  powerofhispersonintothewringhegaveit。
  Flora,nowpermanentlyheavy,didnotreleaseArthurfromthesurveyofthehouse,untilithadextendedeventohisoldgarretbedchamber。Histhoughtswereotherwiseoccupiedthanwiththetourofinspection;yethetookparticularnoticeatthetime,asheafterwardshadoccasiontoremember,oftheairlessnessandclosenessofthehouse;thattheyleftthetrackoftheirfootstepsinthedustontheupperfloors;andthattherewasaresistancetotheopeningofoneroomdoor,whichoccasionedAfferytocryoutthatsomebodywashidinginside,andtocontinuetobelieveso,thoughsomebodywassoughtandnotdiscovered。Whentheyatlastreturnedtohismother’sroom,theyfoundhershadingherfacewithhermuffledhand,andtalkinginalowvoicetothePatriarchashestoodbeforethefire,whoseblueeyes,polishedhead,andsilkenlocks,turningtowardsthemastheycamein,impartedaninestimablevalueandinexhaustibleloveofhisspeciestohisremark:
  ’Soyouhavebeenseeingthepremises,seeingthepremises——
  premises——seeingthepremises!’
  itwasnotinitselfajewelofbenevolenceorwisdom,yethemadeitanexemplarofboththatonewouldhavelikedtohaveacopyof。
  TheEveningofaLongDayThatillustriousmanandgreatnationalornament,MrMerdle,continuedhisshiningcourse。Itbegantobewidelyunderstoodthatonewhohaddonesocietytheadmirableserviceofmakingsomuchmoneyoutofit,couldnotbesufferedtoremainacommoner。
  Abaronetcywasspokenofwithconfidence;apeeragewasfrequentlymentioned。RumourhaditthatMrMerdlehadsethisgoldenfaceagainstabaronetcy;thathehadplainlyintimatedtoLordDecimusthatabaronetcywasnotenoughforhim;thathehadsaid,’No——aPeerage,orplainMerdle。’ThiswasreportedtohaveplungedLordDecimusasnightohisnoblechininasloughofdoubtsassoloftyapersoncouldbesunk。FortheBarnacles,asagroupofthemselvesincreation,hadanideathatsuchdistinctionsbelongedtothem;andthatwhenasoldier,sailor,orlawyerbecameennobled,theylethimin,asitwere,byanactofcondescension,atthefamilydoor,andimmediatelyshutitagain。NotonlysaidRumourhadthetroubledDecimushisownhereditarypartinthisimpression,buthealsoknewofseveralBarnacleclaimsalreadyonthefile,whichcameintocollisionwiththatofthemasterspirit。
  Rightorwrong,Rumourwasverybusy;andLordDecimus,whilehewas,orwassupposedtobe,instatelyexcogitationofthedifficulty,lenthersomecountenancebytaking,onseveralpublicoccasions,oneofthoseelephantinetrotsofhisthroughajungleofovergrownsentences,wavingMrMerdleaboutonhistrunkasGiganticEnterprise,TheWealthofEngland,Elasticity,Credit,Capital,Prosperity,andallmannerofblessings。
  Soquietlydidthemowingoftheoldscythegoon,thatfullythreemonthshadpassedunnoticedsincethetwoEnglishbrothershadbeenlaidinonetombinthestrangers’cemeteryatRome。MrandMrsSparklerwereestablishedintheirownhouse:alittlemanSion,ratheroftheTiteBarnacleclass,quiteatriumphofinconvenience,withaperpetualsmellinitofthedaybeforeyesterday’ssoupandcoach-horses,butextremelydear,asbeingexactlyinthecentreofthehabitableglobe。Inthisenviableabodeandenvieditreallywasbymanypeople,MrsSparklerhadintendedtoproceedatoncetothedemolitionoftheBosom,whenactivehostilitieshadbeensuspendedbythearrivaloftheCourierwithhistidingsofdeath。MrsSparkler,whowasnotunfeeling,hadreceivedthemwithaviolentburstofgrief,whichhadlastedtwelvehours;afterwhich,shehadarisentoseeabouthermourning,andtotakeeveryprecautionthatcouldensureitsbeingasbecomingasMrsMerdle’s。Agloomwasthencastovermorethanonedistinguishedfamilyaccordingtothepolitestsourcesofintelligence,andtheCourierwentbackagain。
  MrandMrsSparklerhadbeendiningalone,withtheirgloomcastoverthem,andMrsSparklerreclinedonadrawing-roomsofa。ItwasahotsummerSundayevening。Theresidenceinthecentreofthehabitableglobe,atalltimesstuffedandcloseasifithadanincurablecoldinitshead,wasthateveningparticularlystifling。
  Thebellsofthechurcheshaddonetheirworstinthewayofclangingamongtheunmelodiousechoesofthestreets,andthelightedwindowsofthechurcheshadceasedtobeyellowinthegreydusk,andhaddiedoutopaqueblack。MrsSparkler,lyingonhersofa,lookingthroughanopenwindowattheoppositesideofanarrowstreetoverboxesofmignonetteandflowers,wastiredoftheview。MrsSparkler,lookingatanotherwindowwhereherhusbandstoodinthebalcony,wastiredofthatview。MrsSparkler,lookingatherselfinhermourning,waseventiredofthatview:though,naturally,notsotiredofthatasoftheothertwo。
  ’It’slikelyinginawell,’saidMrsSparkler,changingherpositionfretfully。’Dearme,Edmund,ifyouhaveanythingtosay,whydon’tyousayit?’
  MrSparklermighthaverepliedwithingenuousness,’Mylife,Ihavenothingtosay。’But,asthereparteedidnotoccurtohim,hecontentedhimselfwithcominginfromthebalconyandstandingatthesideofhiswife’scouch。
  ’Goodgracious,Edmund!’saidMrsSparklermorefretfullystill,youareabsolutelyputtingmignonetteupyournose!Praydon’t!’
  MrSparkler,inabsenceofmind——perhapsinamoreliteralabsenceofmindthanisusuallyunderstoodbythephrase——hadsmeltsohardataspriginhishandastobeonthevergeoftheoffenceinquestion。Hesmiled,said,’Iaskyourpardon,mydear,’andthrewitoutofwindow。
  ’Youmakemyheadachebyremaininginthatposition,Edmund,’saidMrsSparkler,raisinghereyestohimafteranotherminute;’youlooksoaggravatinglylargebythislight。Dositdown。’