’Such,yousee,MrClennam,’saidtheFather,’aretheincongruitiesofmypositionhere。Butapublicduty!Noman,I
amsure,wouldmorereadilyrecogniseapublicdutythanyourself。’
Clennambesoughthimnottodelayamoment。
’Amy,mydear,ifyoucanpersuadeMrClennamtostaylonger,Icanleavethehonoursofourpoorapologyforanestablishmentwithconfidenceinyourhands,andperhapsyoumaydosomethingtowardserasingfromMrClennam’smindthe——ha——untowardandunpleasantcircumstancewhichhasoccurredsincetea-time。’
Clennamassuredhimthatithadmadenoimpressiononhismind,andthereforerequirednoerasure。
’Mydearsir,’saidtheFather,witharemovalofhisblackcapandagraspofClennam’shand,combiningtoexpressthesafereceiptofhisnoteandenclosurethatafternoon,’Heaveneverblessyou!’
So,atlast,Clennam’spurposeinremainingwasattained,andhecouldspeaktoLittleDorritwithnobodyby。Maggycountedasnobody,andshewasby。
MoreFortune-TellingMaggysatatherworkinhergreatwhitecapwithitsquantityofopaquefrillinghidingwhatprofileshehadshehadnonetospare,andherserviceableeyebroughttobearuponheroccupation,onthewindowsideoftheroom。Whatwithherflappingcap,andwhatwithherunserviceableeye,shewasquitepartitionedofffromherLittleMother,whoseseatwasoppositethewindow。
ThetreadandshuffleoffeetonthepavementoftheyardhadmuchdiminishedsincethetakingoftheChair,thetideofCollegianshavingsetstronglyinthedirectionofHarmony。Somefewwhohadnomusicintheirsouls,ornomoneyintheirpockets,dawdledabout;andtheoldspectacleofthevisitor-wifeandthedepressedunseasonedprisonerstilllingeredincorners,asbrokencobwebsandsuchunsightlydiscomfortsdraggleincornersofotherplaces。
ItwasthequietesttimetheCollegeknew,savingthenighthourswhentheCollegianstookthebenefitoftheactofsleep。TheoccasionalrattleofapplauseuponthetablesoftheSnuggery,denotedthesuccessfulterminationofamorselofHarmony;ortheresponsiveacceptance,bytheunitedchildren,ofsometoastorsentimentofferedtothembytheirFather。Occasionally,avocalstrainmoresonorousthanthegeneralityinformedthelistenerthatsomeboastfulbasswasinbluewater,orinthehuntingfield,orwiththereindeer,oronthemountain,oramongtheheather;buttheMarshaloftheMarshalseaknewbetter,andhadgothimhardandfast。
AsArthurClennammovedtositdownbythesideofLittleDorrit,shetrembledsothatshehadmuchadotoholdherneedle。Clennamgentlyputhishanduponherwork,andsaid,’DearLittleDorrit,letmelayitdown。’
Sheyieldedittohim,andheputitaside。Herhandswerethennervouslyclaspingtogether,buthetookoneofthem。
’HowseldomIhaveseenyoulately,LittleDorrit!’
’Ihavebeenbusy,sir。’
’ButIheardonlyto-day,’saidClennam,’bymereaccident,ofyourhavingbeenwiththosegoodpeopleclosebyme。Whynotcometome,then?’
’I——Idon’tknow。Orrather,Ithoughtyoumightbebusytoo。Yougenerallyarenow,areyounot?’
Hesawhertremblinglittleformandherdowncastface,andtheeyesthatdroopedthemomenttheywereraisedtohis——hesawthemalmostwithasmuchconcernastenderness。
’Mychild,yourmannerissochanged!’
Thetremblingwasnowquitebeyondhercontrol。Softlywithdrawingherhand,andlayingitinherotherhand,shesatbeforehimwithherheadbentandherwholeformtrembling。
’MyownLittleDorrit,’saidClennam,compassionately。
Sheburstintotears。Maggylookedroundofasudden,andstaredforatleastaminute;butdidnotinterpose。Clennamwaitedsomelittlewhilebeforehespokeagain。
’Icannotbear,’hesaidthen,’toseeyouweep;butIhopethisisarelieftoanoverchargedheart。’
’Yesitis,sir。Nothingbutthat。’
’Well,well!Ifearedyouwouldthinktoomuchofwhatpassedherejustnow。Itisofnomoment;nottheleast。Iamonlyunfortunatetohavecomeintheway。Letitgobywiththesetears。Itisnotworthoneofthem。Oneofthem?Suchanidlethingshouldberepeated,withmygladconsent,fiftytimesaday,tosaveyouamoment’sheart-ache,LittleDorrit。’
Shehadtakencouragenow,andanswered,farmoreinherusualmanner,’Youaresogood!Buteveniftherewasnothingelseinittobesorryforandashamedof,itissuchabadreturntoyou——’
’Hush!’saidClennam,smilingandtouchingherlipswithhishand。
’Forgetfulnessinyouwhoremembersomanyandsomuch,wouldbenewindeed。ShallIremindyouthatIamnot,andthatIneverwas,anythingbutthefriendwhomyouagreedtotrust?No。Yourememberit,don’tyou?’
’Itrytodoso,orIshouldhavebrokenthepromisejustnow,whenmymistakenbrotherwashere。Youwillconsiderhisbringing-upinthisplace,andwillnotjudgehimhardly,poorfellow,Iknow!’
Inraisinghereyeswiththesewords,sheobservedhisfacemorenearlythanshehaddoneyet,andsaid,withaquickchangeoftone,’Youhavenotbeenill,MrClennam?’
’No。’
’Nortried?Norhurt?’sheaskedhim,anxiously。
ItfelltoClennamnow,tobenotquitecertainhowtoanswer。Hesaidinreply:
’Tospeakthetruth,Ihavebeenalittletroubled,butitisover。
DoIshowitsoplainly?Ioughttohavemorefortitudeandself-
commandthanthat。IthoughtIhad。Imustlearnthemofyou。
Whocouldteachmebetter!’
Heneverthoughtthatshesawinhimwhatnooneelsecouldsee。
Heneverthoughtthatinthewholeworldtherewerenoothereyesthatlookeduponhimwiththesamelightandstrengthashers。
’ButitbringsmetosomethingthatIwishtosay,’hecontinued,’andthereforeIwillnotquarrelevenwithmyownfacefortellingtalesandbeingunfaithfultome。Besides,itisaprivilegeandpleasuretoconfideinmyLittleDorrit。Letmeconfessthen,that,forgettinghowgraveIwas,andhowoldIwas,andhowthetimeforsuchthingshadgonebymewiththemanyyearsofsamenessandlittlehappinessthatmadeupmylonglifefaraway,withoutmarkingit——that,forgettingallthis,IfanciedIlovedsomeone。’
’DoIknowher,sir?’askedLittleDorrit。
’No,mychild。’
’Nottheladywhohasbeenkindtomeforyoursake?’
’Flora。No,no。Doyouthink——’
’Ineverquitethoughtso,’saidLittleDorrit,moretoherselfthanhim。’Ididwonderatitalittle。’
’Well!’saidClennam,abidingbythefeelingthathadfallenonhimintheavenueonthenightoftheroses,thefeelingthathewasanolderman,whohaddonewiththattenderpartoflife,’Ifoundoutmymistake,andIthoughtaboutitalittle——inshort,agooddeal——andgotwiser。Beingwiser,IcountedupmyyearsandconsideredwhatIam,andlookedback,andlookedforward,andfoundthatIshouldsoonbegrey。IfoundthatIhadclimbedthehill,andpassedthelevelgrounduponthetop,andwasdescendingquickly。’
Ifhehadknownthesharpnessofthepainhecausedthepatientheart,inspeakingthus!Whiledoingit,too,withthepurposeofeasingandservingher。
’Ifoundthatthedaywhenanysuchthingwouldhavebeengracefulinme,orgoodinme,orhopefulorhappyformeoranyoneinconnectionwithme,wasgone,andwouldnevershineagain。’
O!Ifhehadknown,ifhehadknown!Ifhecouldhaveseenthedaggerinhishand,andthecruelwoundsitstruckinthefaithfulbleedingbreastofhisLittleDorrit!
’Allthatisover,andIhaveturnedmyfacefromit。WhydoI
speakofthistoLittleDorrit?WhydoIshowyou,mychild,thespaceofyearsthatthereisbetweenus,andrecalltoyouthatI
havepassed,bytheamountofyourwholelife,thetimethatispresenttoyou?’
’Becauseyoutrustme,Ihope。Becauseyouknowthatnothingcantouchyouwithouttouchingme;thatnothingcanmakeyouhappyorunhappy,butitmustmakeme,whoamsogratefultoyou,thesame。’
Heheardthethrillinhervoice,hesawherearnestface,hesawhercleartrueeyes,hesawthequickenedbosomthatwouldhavejoyfullythrownitselfbeforehimtoreceiveamortalwounddirectedathisbreast,withthedyingcry,’Ilovehim!’andtheremotestsuspicionofthetruthneverdawneduponhismind。No。
Hesawthedevotedlittlecreaturewithherwornshoes,inhercommondress,inherjail-home;aslenderchildinbody,astrongheroineinsoul;andthelightofherdomesticstorymadeallelsedarktohim。
’Forthosereasonsassuredly,LittleDorrit,butforanothertoo。
Sofarremoved,sodifferent,andsomucholder,Iamthebetterfittedforyourfriendandadviser。Imean,Iamthemoreeasilytobetrusted;andanylittleconstraintthatyoumightfeelwithanother,mayvanishbeforeme。Whyhaveyoukeptsoretiredfromme?Tellme。’
’Iambetterhere。Myplaceandusearehere。Iammuchbetterhere,’saidLittleDorrit,faintly。
’Soyousaidthatdayuponthebridge。Ithoughtofitmuchafterwards。Haveyounosecretyoucouldentrusttome,withhopeandcomfort,ifyouwould!’
’Secret?No,Ihavenosecret,’saidLittleDorritinsometrouble。
Theyhadbeenspeakinginlowvoices;morebecauseitwasnaturaltowhattheysaidtoadoptthattone,thanwithanycaretoreserveitfromMaggyatherwork。AllofasuddenMaggystaredagain,andthistimespoke:
’Isay!LittleMother!’
’Yes,Maggy。’
’Ifyouan’tgotnosecretofyourowntotellhim,tellhimthataboutthePrincess。Shehadasecret,youknow。’
’ThePrincesshadasecret?’saidClennam,insomesurprise。’WhatPrincesswasthat,Maggy?’
’Lor!Howyoudogoandbotheragaloften,’saidMaggy,’catchingthepoorthingupinthatway。WhoeversaidthePrincesshadasecret?_I_neversaidso。’
’Ibegyourpardon。Ithoughtyoudid。’
’No,Ididn’t。HowcouldI,whenitwasheraswantedtofinditout?Itwasthelittlewomanashadthesecret,andshewasalwaysaspinningatherwheel。Andsoshesaystoher,whydoyoukeepitthere?Andsothet’otheronesaystoher,noIdon’t;andsothet’otheronesaystoher,yesyoudo;andthentheybothgoestothecupboard,andthereitis。Andshewouldn’tgointotheHospital,andsoshedied。Youknow,LittleMother;tellhimthat。